Latest / Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce / But I Didn’t F*ck Her | Do You Have To Sleep With Someone To Cheat? | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep467

Transcript

But I Didn’t F*ck Her | Do You Have To Sleep With Someone To Cheat? | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep467 · Morrow Marriage | Disrupting Divorce

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck her! Dirty text, dick pics, and boiling over.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Stop using boundaries, guys.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: You have an apology problem.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: You are holding yourself back.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: What you can do or what to do when you're not having sex.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You've never seen us in action?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: There is always something that you need to do better.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck her! Welcome to Moral Mary's podcast, guys, and I definitely didn't fuck her.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: There is no her.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: There is no her.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even talk to her.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I need a bad night.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is There are no other women.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: We live in this podcast studio where he has complete blinders on from other women.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, like she leaves me here.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is where she feeds me.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is where she dates me.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even get to leave.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: We don't get to leave.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: We I get to leave.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I get to leave.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't get to leave.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: This has gone on for far too long.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Far too long.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this is it's not it's no secret.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is um wildly viral whenever I make a post.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you don't have to have to fuck someone to cheat.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um betrayal is more than just having sex.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't cheat to cheat.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or sorry, you don't have to cheat to cheat.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I have my song Egg Shells, I have my song uh You don't have to fuck someone to cheat that have done extremely well, okay?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's because betrayal, as you know, from our point of view, is a whole lot more and it's way more things than actually having a P meet a V and do the physical D.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason why I'm bringing this up is this is long overdue.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I owe this to my wife, but um, I have a team that helps me with some of my social media, okay?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And something up by me, I missed it, and on a post that I approved, I think it was a picture and you caught it, and uh it's maybe it was a real, I can't remember, and it sounds like so.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right away, Catherine immediately heard it, but it was a real because you're on the deck and you heard it, whatever the line was, and it was like that sounds like you cheated on me.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: There's been a few posts that have come out, I think.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so the reason why I wanted to do this after the last episode is because you know, if you know anything about me, I'm extremely transparent.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so there's a couple of things that I just wanted to get out there right now.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see where this goes.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we'll come up with some more because I just want to clear the air.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: For those of you who are like shitting bricks right now, he's not about to tell all y'all that he cheated.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: The insecure ones are like, oh my gosh, he's gonna tell her on live air.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, he's not.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: On live air.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's not live air, it's recorded, but uh an insecure person would be also shitting bricks right now.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so no, I did not have a physical affair.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I wouldn't even say emotional affair.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: What I say about cheating today, though, is I did cheat.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I can say I cheat or I cheated on Catherine.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Not cheat.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Where are we going?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think about back at the gym.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, in the beginning.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: In the very beginning, the way that I would talk to the people, the women in the studio, it's very inappropriate.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would never allow that now.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, when you were talking about the soccer instructor, it got me thick got me, you reminded me of that as well.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it was funny that I have this episode in the middle.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because you say he doesn't, he's like me, he doesn't give compliments.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm very, very careful where I would give a compliment to somebody, for example.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the one thing that I I got compliments.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You get compliments all the time.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I got them back then too.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: He married this one, though, ladies.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, that's right.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, you know, then porn there was a handful of times, okay.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I think that was it from our list of betrayal.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think there was anything.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have a lot maybe.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, there's nothing.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I watched And the beginning was short-lived as well.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: But keep in mind, guys, like he went from single and saying whatever he wanted to women who enjoyed it, these women enjoyed it, to meeting me, and then I said, Hey, you can't talk to women that way.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was just, he was kind of like, What do you mean?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean anything, and then it that's how that's how all of this that's how you fix all the problems in your relationship.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: Differences of in perspective get brought to the surface, and then you get the opportunity to align on them.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't easy for you.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: You defended it for a long time, but then he realized, oh, yeah, but I say I only defended it for a long time knowing what I know now.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And a long time is short in the perspective.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I only defended it back then because I didn't understand, and it wasn't I didn't understand this topic, it's that I didn't understand how I felt about myself.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: I did not want to feel bad for doing something wrong.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now I don't have a problem being held accountable, okay?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But back then, it just I felt even worse.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: It would destroy me, something like that, criticism or uh and I didn't know that either back then.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that showing him something that hurt me would make him feel worse.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: All I knew was it made me feel bad, and I had no idea about him.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So we both didn't know.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, another big one that you guys uh get confused, okay?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this one actually came as a question.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody, I was wondering when it would ever finally happen.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: As far as I know, it's never happened.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I thought you didn't physically abuse Catherine.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Did you physically abuse Catherine?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I think that violence.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: And we debate and we debate this even ourselves.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think that violence, obviously, clearly physical, is physical, okay?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: But if I shove my wife, if I spit at my wife, uh I push her down a small set of stairs, uh, I think all of that is called physical because it is physical.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not the physical violence that people think.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't hit me.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't kick me, choke me, cut me.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: But he body checked me.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: He did push me, flipped me out of the bed.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I guess it could be debated.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: I always say no, he wasn't physically abusive.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: But if you think about like the actual I'm thinking of like women that like battered women.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was not battered.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that see, that's interesting.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: That reminds me, never thought about this before, but should have, because of your perspective.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: But it reminds me of when I thought because I didn't get beat physically by my parents.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I said, well, then I was abused, is what I thought.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, and I said, yes, you were.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, but yes, I wanted to clear the air for that one as well.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: There is, there's no, I didn't punch Catherine.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but I did enough that was bad.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean we even today you'd say, like, sometimes you would have wished I would have just hit you.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would have been easier.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: But she's not making light of the people who get hit either.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm no, I'm not, absolutely not.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's all bad, guys.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Psychological warfare is warfare.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and then um I think that's really it.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, you know, sometimes people are w wondering about my um conditions, conditions in my brain.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as narcissists, uh, I say was because I don't act in it anymore.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we had we diagnosed with something called cyclothymia.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: There was prescription pills, uh, all of that, but I don't think any of that matters based off everything that we know now.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: We work with most cases.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Some do require medication, some don't.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Most people aren't under some form of medication and don't have a condition other than the normal shit.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Depression, anxiety, all the bullshit there, you know.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that's it, right?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: What was the question?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: You're just listing off like all the different portrayals?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sometimes people um they get it wrong, they they make assumptions and they want clarity on what we actually went through.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, there was no emotional affair on either side.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: There was no physical affair on either side.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: There was some level of physical violence when he describes it that way.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, sexual assaults, too.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sexual assaults, yes.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Conditions, yeah, there were he did have a diagnosis at one point, but we you you know, like did we did we do I know you have a song called Peel the Label Off, but that came from me saying labels can be peeled off, and we did that right on this podcast.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how we feel about diagnoses and labels.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't believe in them.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, keep it coming, you guys, because in the spirit of us always being fully transparent and being as authentic as we are, um, it's important that you don't ever doubt.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a question about our story like that, it makes more sense to ask us than to go, well, wait a minute.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like this That contradicts, they're lying.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the podcast they say they didn't have an affair on the the social media reel.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, also, you'll almost always get confused if you're comparing it to a reel, because a reel is short.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: A reel is never gonna have all the information.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And a reel sometimes is about getting your attention and speaking to you.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, correct.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I bet you, whatever that reel was, because I do remember seeing something where I was like, people are gonna think you had an affair, honey.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: He probably didn't say I had an affair.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: He might have said in like the very beginning, it's called a hook.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: He might have answered a question, what do I what do I do now that I've had an affair?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then he answers the question.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that happens.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: But it did, it happens all the time.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: So don't think we're contradicting ourselves.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you hear something that's contradicting.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: But in ask questions.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because in a world where everybody is full of shit, I just want you to always know that we do.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Our shit is public.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we do our damnedest to make sure that you we share too much, more than Catherine's comfortable with that.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm getting pretty comfortable now, but it's it was really hard for me, guys.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of questioning what's real and what's not, maybe be more grateful that someone is willing to put their life on a fucking silver platter and serve it to you.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's not easy.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you think, if you think being uh he's very he's he's totally fine with it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably part of the like he's not a narcissist anymore, but those cluster B traits, very black and white, very not you don't care.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Not that you don't care, but you don't it doesn't it doesn't phase it.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't affect him the same way as it it affects me.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I've worked on it, guys, because because what my beautiful husband here has shown me is that when I'm transparent for you, it helps you.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I go through all of that pain for nothing?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I get to share it with you because it helps you.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean that doesn't make it easy.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's even really difficult because when I talk to a woman whose story sounds like mine, I will still cry.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: I will be on the phone keeping my shit together with tears running down my face, and I feel like I'm gonna vomit.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not easy.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Just ask questions if you think we're contradicting because this is Well, that's what this is.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing malicious or anything.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are malicious, though.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are very malicious.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Some people are really mean.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Stop being that mean person.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want me to punch him in the throat?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: See?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: He can't actually punch you in the throat, is he?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's called a stat response.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Join the program, we'll teach you how to do it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: Not punching people in the throat, though.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what we teach in the stat response.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: The stat response is stat, stat! Alright, guys, see you next time.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.