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BONUS!!! PTA Corner - Did I handle this well? · Petty and Unbothered

• Tita Lors: Okay. Do we have time? Can we make time? I on. Okay, we'll make time. We have to leave. Your hard go. My hard go is 415. Okay, that's fine. We'll do this quickly. So I saw it's Petty Therapy Advice Corner. So Reddit sends me updates on my emails or whatever and this one was like, did I handle this well? And I'm like, I don't know, what'd do? Let's find out! So let's see, when I first saw it, it was 13 hours ago. What is it now? So this is a day ago. Wow, time is going really slow. Oh my Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: Lanta. Okay. I don't see, he never responded to anybody that I can see at least. And I don't know how to do the quick researches that people do. Okay. So the question is, did I handle this well or should I have said more? It is on r slash what do I do? And the OP is touchy m3. Yeah. I don't know how feel about that. So, male 23, been talking to this girl, female 23, for about three to four weeks. I really like her. We hung out a lot and at first just thought she needed time to herself. Things for going well? I'm assuming he was trying to say were. Things were going well until yesterday. I don't really know what I did to make her uncomfortable and just really anxious to see how this turns out. I'm not sure if I handled the situation in the best way. Is there more I should have said? Is there something I can do or say right now? Or should I just wait? Or should I just wait this one out until she's ready to talk? There are screenshots. Do you want to be the boy or the girl? Do you want to be blue or black? Alright, no wait, you said black? You're gonna be the girl. Okay. So can you see it? Oh no. Robin Axline: Okay, here we go. Tita Lors: Okay. Robin Axline: I don't want you to come. I need space. Tita Lors: May I ask why? Okay. Robin Axline: Thanks, I'll most likely see you next week. Thumbs Tita Lors: Thumbs up. Robin Axline: up. I'm gonna text you less as well. Tita Lors: Okay, no problem. By the way, I'm glad you told me straight up. Take your time and take care of yourself. Robin Axline: By the way, I'm, that's you. Okay. Tita Lors: Nope, that's me. Okay, go. Your, let's talk. Robin Axline: let's talk tomorrow about us. Tita Lors: Okay, what time do you want to meet up? Robin Axline: Actually, let's push it off till next week. I don't want to see you. Tita Lors: Okay. Robin Axline: Sorry, that really came off harsh. Tita Lors: Hey, it's okay, don't worry about it. Robin Axline: thumbs up. I just saw some red flags and I don't know how to feel. Tita Lors: I understand. Tell me about them when we talk. Okay, and so then that's it. There's literally nothing else. Right? Okay, so most of the commenters are saying, she's playing games, blah, blah. But I have follow up questions. Right? Like, what happened? Robin Axline: Okay. What? Yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's so vague. Tita Lors: Yeah! What's with all the blocked out stuff? What were you guys talking about before this? You blocked it out. Why can't that be part of the conversation? Maybe it's informative. what are the red flags, allegedly? And why are there no updates? Yet. Robin Axline: you Yeah, keep us informed. Tita Lors: I know, if I was really anxious and needed to know how to handle a situation, I would be refreshing every five minutes. Somebody help me, although I would never go on Reddit and ask for help. like, if I did... Or, you know, when I mass text my friends my life story and the thing that I'm like panicking about in that moment, I'm checking my phone every two seconds to be like, hello, you guys. I didn't send you. Robin Axline: Yeah. Yeah, if it's something that's up in the air like that, I definitely would be checking. Tita Lors: Yeah, I didn't text you ten times in a row for nothing. Robin Axline: I just I just wonder like the way that it must be the way that that guy types but some of it just sounded like weirdly enthusiastic like No, well there was like an exclamation mark on one that I was like Tita Lors: It might be how I'm reading it too, but there was no punctuation. So I was like, I don't know. Robin Axline: when Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: she's like, I need space and he put, okay. But Tita Lors: Yes! Robin Axline: maybe he just hit the prefab one and then it just Tita Lors: Yeah, Robin Axline: did that. Tita Lors: fair, right? But it's like, I just need space. Okay, go ahead, take your time. La la la, no questions. Robin Axline: Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm like, this seems very disconnected. Tita Lors: Yeah, but then he did ask, like, you know, can I ask why? And she's like, I just want red flags. But like. I'm trying to think if somebody was like, like what red flags did you see? Would I say? Would you? know but there's like the funniest part of this trend is or this thread is that somebody's like as a girl run and then somebody goes as a boy run and then someone says as a dog bark as a tree leave. It just keeps going on. It's so funny. Yeah, advice. If I had a friend who was like, hey, look at this interaction, I would just have a lot of follow up questions. And then what what the people are saying is that if she doesn't want to talk to you, but she keeps talking to you, she's playing games. Robin Axline: Yeah, that's the other thing I was say. Uh huh. That's exactly what I was gonna say. It's like, she's like, I Tita Lors: huh. Robin Axline: don't wanna talk to you. don't wanna talk to you, but then she just keeps talking. Tita Lors: Yeah, exactly. I'm like, what was the time differences between like when he to, it doesn't show the times. Yeah, there's no times. I mean, it must be pretty immediate responses because it's like today at. Why are you guys texting at 12 o'clock in the morning? Go to sleep. It's probably probably one of the red flags that she saw. Robin Axline: Yeah. Tita Lors: Um, but, um, yeah. Excuse me. So that she, she's responding pretty immediately. So it usually won't put a time tag if you respond right away. So there's not a lot of time in between these messages. So do we think she's playing games? Do we think he's a little simp? Like, I know if you're supposed to use that word. Is that bad? Sorry, sorry for that. honestly listen I think that a lot of the people that I know who self-identify as simps are the sweetest people I've ever met and they're very kind. Maybe that's the point. But like, I love them. They're really cool people. Robin Axline: You know what I would say instead of all this back and forth I'd just be like I'm gonna give you your space period and just let me know if you ever want to follow up on this and just stop the madness Tita Lors: Yeah. Robin Axline: because everything he says is like hey it's okay and like I understand it sounds fake too Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was getting that. And that's the follow-up questions and like the whole red flag for me. I was like, this seems fake. I like this. Oh, I'm so understanding. It doesn't feel real. There's something a little sus to it, which if somebody was saying that to me, I would be like, well, that's another red flag. Robin Axline: Yeah, if she's collecting red flags, then that's another one. Yeah, it just doesn't. But also it feels gameplay how she's like, let's talk tomorrow. And then she goes, actually, let's push it off till next week, like right away. Which seems odd. Tita Lors: Yeah, you know what I think is happening? just thought about right now. Robin Axline: Huh. Tita Lors: Her board of directors, her board of best friends. Yeah, they're telling her some things, probably. And that's why he's getting this back and forth, because she probably feels a certain way. She's talking to her board of best friends, and they're telling her some stuff, and she's like, relaying it back and can't figure out where she lands and what she wants in all of this. But something feels off for her. Robin Axline: I mean, yeah, especially if it wasn't her board of directors, it would be really peculiar. Tita Lors: Yeah, I mean... I think it's kind of like what we've said in the past where it's like, if, there's just something in your gut that's telling you something's not right, whether it's for her or for him, then this is not your person. This is not where you belong. And what you should do is just go. Like if she doesn't want to tell you, she's not, let's say there's nothing sus on either of their sides. If she doesn't feel comfortable disclosing to you what your red flags are or what's happening, then there's nothing you can do to improve. There's nothing you can do to change that situation unless she's open to communicating with you. And it doesn't look like you're going to get an open answer from her, even if you were to meet in person. Also, why do you have to meet in person to get that answer? You can get that on text. don't need to. Exactly. Yeah, right. Robin Axline: I mean, or you could talk on the phone. Imagine that. Tita Lors: Like, come on, people, there's so many different ways to be rejected. Robin Axline: Yeah. Totally. Tita Lors: I'm gonna get rejected. I don't need to see you in person. Just tell me. Robin Axline: Yeah, I just also feel like a lot of her stuff just seems like slop. It's just kind of like, it's just like, there's red flags and there's this, it's just all these vague, it's like, girl, if you Tita Lors: excuses, yeah. Robin Axline: want to talk to him about that stuff, save all that for later when you can be more specific. Tita Lors: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. And that's what a lot of the comments were saying, too. Like, she's being so vague. It sounds really immature. If she doesn't want to talk to you, why she keep talking to you? Yeah, I think if I were in his shoes and someone was like, actually, don't come. I don't want to see you. Fine, I don't want to see you either. Damn. Yeah, okay, cool, bye. It was nice knowing you. Yeah, exactly, exactly, Robin Axline: Okay, bye. Tita Lors: 100 % that. Okay, bye. Nice knowing you. Enjoy your life. Yeah, I don't need to ask questions. I don't need to know why. You just don't want to, and it doesn't matter to me. Mm-hmm. So is that our advice? Get over it. Who cares? Robin Axline: Yeah, basically. Problem solved. Get over it. Find somebody else. Tita Lors: Yeah, unless you're... Exactly! Unless he's willing to update and give us more information... What's his name? Touchy M3? I know, I Robin Axline: Yeah. Hello? Update us please. That's a red flag. Tita Lors: can't do this! It really is. I know! Robin Axline: Touchy. Tita Lors: Why is that your... Anyways, whatever, I can't. Robin Axline: It's probably referencing something really nerdy. I don't know. Yeah. Tita Lors: that we don't know anything about. Okay, the thing too is like people are saying, oh, she's treating you like shit. And I'm like, how? I don't think she's, she's not being the best, but she's not being super shitty either. Yeah, she's, I, let's see, 23. The fact that you're saying in general, actually, I don't feel comfortable with this. props. That's hard for girls to do. That is not easy. Girls are not taught that they're allowed to want anything or need anything. Right? Like their feelings don't matter. You defer to the man, blah, blah. And this new generation of girls in this dating scene, they're actually able to say, no, sorry, sell some red flags. I'm not with it. Whatever. Um, and so honestly, props, you're 23, you're able to say that and call that out. You should probably stop talking to the person if you don't want to invest in them. But this is a great first step. So I don't, I didn't see anything where she was being mean. I didn't see anything where she was being like a red flag. Like some people are saying, I do think that she should have just stopped talking to him, but she's 23. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyways, that's my petty therapy advice corner. Do I want to start like? pretty, you know, first of all, yes, I'm a therapist. I'm not your therapist. So don't, you know, take what I say with a grain of salt. Obviously, there's information here that I don't know. don't, my word is not law. Exactly. Robin Axline: Yeah, this is purely for entertainment. It's not a replacement for actual therapy, right? Yeah. Tita Lors: mental health. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, get a therapist if you need one. Most people do. But yes, so I guess I would that I'd be like, well, what's coming up for you? And then we talk about rejection and why that's and all that stuff, but he's not my he's not my client. So whatever it is, what it is. Robin Axline: Yeah, if any of you listeners have a text exchange you'd like us to suss out. I think we'd be really good at it because this one was fun. Yeah. Tita Lors: I think so too! Yeah, I think we'd be really good at it. We're not giving horrible advice. Yeah. Robin Axline: No. And we wouldn't steer you wrong, so. Tita Lors: We would not ever intentionally steer you wrong. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yay. Okay. Well, I hope you enjoyed hanging out with us. Please, please again, subscribe to all the things so you don't miss the next episode. And until next time, everyone, fuck it. Toodaloo!