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305: Building Parent Resilience, with Barb Fletcher · Beautifully Complex

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: When the stress is outside of our control. In other words,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: we don't get to decide what the weather is, how
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: somebody else behaves, the things that people say. Then the
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: solutions for those are all inside of us, They're not
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: outside of us.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Beautifully Complex podcast, where I share insights
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: and strategies on parenting neurodivergent kids straight from the trenches.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I'm your host, Penny Williams. I'm a parenting coach, author
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: and mindset mama, honored to guide you on the journey
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: of raising your atypical kid. Let's get started. Welcome back
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: to Beautifully Complex everyone. I'm so happy to have you here,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: and I have with me also resilience coach Barb Fletcher,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: and we are going to talk about building parent resilience,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: something that in our neurodiversent parenting community we need, I
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: think more than ever, and we really rely on to
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: be able to keep going when the struggle feels overwhelming
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: at times. Barb, will you start by letting everybody know
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: who you are and what you do and then we
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: will jump in.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: That sounds great. So my name is Barb Fletcher and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm a coach helping people with stress anxiety and overwhelm.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: And this is an encore career for me. I spent
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: thirty five years working for the profits I live in
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: in Canada, and I developed stress during my career that
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: resulted in some significant issues that It was only when
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the dentist suggested a medical procedure that was going to
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: break my job why.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Are it shut?
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: That I thought, hmm, I need to take some personal
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: responsibility for stress. So when I finished up that career,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I knew that I had lots left to give a boy.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: You know, the last six or seven years have been
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: very stressful for many people, and it's been a wonderful
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: opportunity for me to give back.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I love that and it's so needed, especially right now.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: We need to have conversations about resilience more than ever.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: But I want to start there. Can you define resilience
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: for those who are listening so that we can really
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: be on the same page about what you're about to
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: talk about.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Well, I think we're naive if we think that our
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: lives can always be free of stress, and so resilience
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: is really about our ability to bounce back from stress.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: So stress is going to happen. It's what we do
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: with it, do we react to it or do we
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: have some capacity to process it and respond in all
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: of the situations that could be coming up. And it
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: can be as simple as we oversleep, or it could
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: be a lifetime challenge which perhaps some of your parents
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: are facing with children who process information differently.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, can we talk about stress for a minute, because
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I know in my own history, in my own life,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I was having some health issues years ago, and doctors
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: kept saying, we don't see anything medically reduce your stress.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: And I went to doctor after doctor and that kept saying,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: reduce your stress, reduce your stress. And I was like,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: I can't give away my kids. I don't know what
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: you want me to do, because in my mind, stress
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: management was getting rid of these stressors. And then I
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: learned that it's not really it's managing our experience. Right.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Will you talk to us a little bit more about
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: what stress management really is.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: So, first of all, I want people to think about
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: stress lining up in two buckets. It's not created equal.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So the first bucket is stress that we have control over.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: So if you think about your children and their behaviors,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: some of that you have control over, but a lot
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: is outside of your control. Now, what we're going to
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: have for dinner tonight, we probably have control over. And
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: when we have control over that stress, we can make
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: a plan and we can figure it out when the
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: stress is outside of our control. In other words, we
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: don't get to decide what the weather is, how somebody
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: else behaves, the things that people say. Then the solutions
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: for those are all inside of us. They're not outside
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: of us. So no plan that you could have made
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: would have resolved that, because it really is needing to
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: quiet the nervous system, and that's not something we talk
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: about very much.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was something I learned years later, years and
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: years later, and I did get a diagnosis finally, I
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: do have fibromiologis. So there was something going on there
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: and stress made it worse for sure, exactly. And so
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I have this very clear signal in my body of
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: when there's too much stress around, I'm not doing a
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: good job managing it. That I need to focus more
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: on my nervous system and my self care. Yeah, what
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: are some steps that parents can take to build their resilience?
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Where do we start with that?
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  Speaker 1: I think the first thing is that we have to
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: acknowledge and be aware of what we're feeling. So you know,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: when we harken back to the conversation that you had
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: with the doctor who said, just put in place some
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: stress management, if you don't really understand what's driving that stress,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: whether it's fear or pain or you know, a fight
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: or flight response, you can't think your way out of
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: that situation. You really have to feel. So it's really
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: about acknowledging what the emotions are and then quieting the
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: nervous system. The tools that I am trained in are
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: called art math, and they're based in nearly forty years
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: of pure reviewed science, and that was really important to
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: me because I knew that the people I was going
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: to be talking to would say, show me the proof,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: does this really work? And so we are able to
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: use the tools real time in the moment. So, you know,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: when we talk about self care, self care often means
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: we need to take ourself out of the situation. And
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: that's a little bit of the uniqueness of heart math
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: in that you can practice these tools when you're experiencing stress,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and the hardest part always is just recognizing that it's
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: being triggered in your body. How are you feeling? Yeah,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the body keeps the square.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: It sure does. The body tells us what we need,
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  Speaker 2: and it's up to us to recognize, use those signals
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: and be able to do something with that that's going
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: to be helpful. So if we're having these stressful feelings,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: we're overwhelmed, where triggered, we're tired, whatever it is our
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: nervous system is triggered, what then can we do? We
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: have to recognize the feelings and feel them right what
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: would be the next step?
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: So the next step is really using the breath and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: the nervous system to quiet it down. So a little
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: known fact is that the heart actually sends more messages
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: to the brain than the brain sends to the heart.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: So that's a bit perplexing for some because we've always
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: thought that we could think our way out of these situations,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: and the truth is we're going to need to feel
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: our way out. So heart math has a number of techniques.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Then the first one is really just focused breathing. So
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: all we do is focus our attention on the area
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: of our heart. For some people that may mean facing
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: their hand over their heart area and just imagining that
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the breath is flowing in and out of the heart area.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Now we do that by breathing in and out through
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: the nose, out through the mouth, and that in itself
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: is like if we were driving a car and it
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: was accelerating, it would be like putting it in neutral.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: We're just coasting along and that allows us to catch up.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: And so those kinds of quietings can work well for
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: kids handparents in that we can do heart focused breathing
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: wherever we are. We don't need any special equipment, we
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: don't need to take a time out.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: All we really need.
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  Speaker 1: Is a queue that says, let's just connect, let's just
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: do heart focus breathing, and that will quiet it and
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: thirty to sixty seconds will have the ability to just
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: bring it all down to a place where perhaps the
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: conversation that you were trying to have might actually be
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: heard or understood.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it really does go for both parents and kids,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: every human being. This is important for our right is
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: we all have similar nervous system and biology. We've talked
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: about what to do in the moment we have the
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: breath work, we're noticing, we're seeing, aware of how we're feeling.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: What can we do outside of those moments to build
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: up more resilience. And I know it's learning some of
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: these technical right and implementing them in the moment. But
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: are there other things that we can be doing to
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  Speaker 2: sort of strengthen ourselves or study ourselves.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, of course, you know, I always look at doing
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: those real time in the moment has a bit of
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: a firefighter. We're just you know, we're we're on emergency alert.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: And so if we think of our bodies as having
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: a battery, and we continue to add resilience or charge
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: to our battery, then what happens is when we encounter
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: a stressful experience, what we do is we draw down
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: perhaps a little bit on that battery, and maybe what
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: will happen is we'll have more capacity to be patient,
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  Speaker 1: to listen differently. And so it's important for parents to
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: when they're outside of those emergency situations to practice these
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: tools so that they can actually add capacity to their batteries.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Now they can practice with their children as well, because
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  Speaker 1: there's some magical times. It might be if you're in
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the car together, it might be if you're getting ready
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: for bed, perfect time to take five minutes and do
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  Speaker 1: that extra practice. And what that means is it just
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: raises the threshold before stress kicks in I had a client,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: a mom and a daughter, and the daughter was, you know,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: feeling a lot of stress at the end of the day,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: and so is the mom. And they were having conversations
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: just as soon as she got in the car. And
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: what happened was the mom was still experiencing her busy
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: day and the daughter hers. And what I suggested was
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: that they spend the first five minutes practicing before they
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: got home, then to have the conversation.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: And that's a.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Bit peculiar, because you know, we all want to unravel
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: all the things that have happened during the day, But
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: that time permits people to bring their nervous system back
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: to that reset and to be in a place where
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: they can actually hear what the other person is likely
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: to say. So bedtimes are great to practice alone or
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: with your children. First thing in the morning. Ah, it's
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: a great time to practice, you know, before you start
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: the day. It sets the tone and you show up
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: with more capacity to be patient. Understand if throughout the
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: day something happens, that's important to do a reset as well.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: So even though you might have practiced in the moment,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: it's good to do a reset after the fact because
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: without that What happens is we carry forward in our
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: subconscious something that may have happened, and the next time
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: we see a behavior or something similar, our nervous system
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: is on high alert and it's ready just in case
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: it happens again.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you say practice, what does that look like?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Is that the breath work or is that something else?
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: It is It is the breath work. So the quick
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: coherence is just adding on to that technique of heart
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: focused breathing. And what we do is we just focus
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: our attention and maybe let's just give it a practice
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: if you're interested.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: So what I like you to think about before we
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: begin is a place an experience could be a pet,
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: it's usually not people, because people have wobbles that whenever
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: you think of that, you just feel love and appreciation.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: So does something come to mind the beach yes, my
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: toes and the surf, and is it a particular beach no, okay?
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And is it the sun shining? Yes? And are you
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: hearing birds? Okay? And is it very quiet with the
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: exception of the birds or the people? No?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: People?
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: No people? Okay, We've got it. Okay. So you can
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: practice with your eyes open or closed. It doesn't matter.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: So we focus our attention in the area of our heart,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: and we just imagine that our breath is flowing in
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: and out of our heart area. You breathe a little
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: bit slower and a little bit deeper, so hard focus
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: heart breath. Breathing in and out through your nose, a
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: little bit slower, a little bit deeper. The next note, breath.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I want you to feel that feeling of being at
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: the beach. So heart focus, heart breath, heart appreciation. Breathing
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: in and out through your nose equal amounts, a little
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: bit slower, a little bit deeper, so hard focus heart breath.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: It's peaceful. Mm hmmm.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: So you can see that. Practicing that for five minutes
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: in the morning and five minutes at night get in bed,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: are two wonderful opportunities to recharge. If you can practice
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: with a child, and you know, maybe it's a portion
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: of that, maybe it's sixty seconds, and maybe it's just
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: heart focused breathing. All of that adds to our in our.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Battery, makes such a difference in our bodies. I used
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: to think that breath work and breathing was just nonsense. Honestly,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: it just seemed like that is not going to help
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: as big as my stresses or as my problems are,
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: And I finally did some work on myself to embrace
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: all of this and was just so shocked and floored
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: by how much it changes our body and our systems.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: In that moment, you can watch your heartbeats slow on
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: a heartbeat monitor, with slow, deep breathing. There's so much
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: to it, and it's so powerful, and I don't think
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: we give it enough credit often enough. So in teaching
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: our kids this, our kids with adh year autism or anxiety,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: even if it is just like you said, one minute
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: a day can make a huge difference. And studies have
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: shown that in kids who are neurodivergent that the mindfulness
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: that comes with the practice, with the broath work or
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: the other sorts of regulating activities that we do make
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: a huge difference on the experience of our kids and
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: their ability to regulate their emotions, which is often one
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: of the bigger struggles that we run into. So this
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: is magical not just for us as the adults, but
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: also for our kids, and it will make a lifelong
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: impact for them.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: It's really about as difficult sometimes as that is, It's
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: about modeling the behavior. So when we change how self
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: regulated we are, then our children experience us differently. I'll
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: give you an example. I was working with the nurse,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and the nurse said, you know, at the end of
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: the day, I have nothing left to give to my kids.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: I get home, they have homework and you know, they're arguing.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: And so I said to her, when you get home,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I want you to park your car, sit in your car,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: and practice quick coherence, just the practice that we did
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: for five minutes. And she came back a week later
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: and she said, you're not going to believe this, and
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I said, oh, she said, my kids have changed. Well,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: her kids didn't change at all. Her kids experienced her differently.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: So you know, we've all been in a room where
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: someone perhaps was agitated or angry, and they can influence
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: how everybody feels. So it's our job to look after
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: our own emotions, to self regulate, and to show up
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: being the best version that we possibly can of us
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: shared energy.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: That's the way I like to talk about it and
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: think about it. The way that we show up in
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: a room with our child impacts the energy that they're
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: showing up with, and it can make an enormous difference.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: You know, this is something I talk about when I
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: coach parents about you know, when your kid is having
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: big emotions or big behaviors, you have to come in
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: with a more settled energy, a calmer energy, because otherwise
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: you're just going to escalate the situation. You know, two
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: agitated people cannot calm each other down. It's not possible, right,
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Two dysregulated people can't get to regulation. And so it's
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: part of our job as the parent to bring in
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: that coregulating energy. And we need these practices like this
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: for ourselves in order to be able to show up
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: in that way.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: And it's so much more than not raising our voice.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: So you know, it's what's actually happening on the inside,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: and that's what our children are relating to. And so
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: you might not raise your voice, but you know, perhaps
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: you are dreading this situation. Perhaps you know you have
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: some experience where it didn't go well, and your subconscious
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: is carrying on a narrative, And even though everything looks
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: fine on the outside, be one hundred percent confident that
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: your child knows what you're feeling.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's easy to sense that energy, and it's hard
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: for a parent to show up truly common, truly settled
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: when your child is explosive or having a lot of intensity,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: and you know part of the way that you're able
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: to do that is that you have worked on your
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: own nervous system enough that you can face these kinds
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: of challenges with that more settled energy, knowing that this
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: will pass, that your kids having a hard time, that
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: you will get to the other side of it. Right.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: I guess hope and optimism play a role there and
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: being able to show up in that way as well.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it doesn't happen overnight. But what I can
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: say is the magic with self regulation and the tools
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: that I share with clients is that two weeks and
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: people will feel drummadically different. And so I also have
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: a measurement tool where people can take a stress assessment
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: that indicates where their stress levels are on the physical side, work, relationships, financial,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: a whole series of measures, and we can see the
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: needle actually move when people do ten minutes of practice,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: so not ours, but a bit of just a bit
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: of practice, and some of the surprising things with relationships
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: people go, it's just gotten so much easier, and it
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: has to do with what we're doing inside of ourselves.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: We have to prepare ourselves first. Absolutely. You know, we
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: talk so often our culture that sacrifice of yourself is
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: how to be a good parent, and it's exactly the
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: set in reality. We have to be able to show
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: up as our best selves in order to do your
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: best for our kids. And we can't do that if
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: we ignore our own needs.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: No, and we're not talking a SPA day here, We're
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: talking ten minutes, five minutes in the morning and five
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: minutes at night. That can really set the tone for
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: what's going to happen to our nervous system. It doesn't
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: mean that the SPA day isn't something we all want.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: It absolutely is, and it's probably something that should be
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: in the cards. But that ability to spend ten minutes
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: self regulating can just be a game changer.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Self regulation is self care. I think, you know, building
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: that muscle, building that strength, Barb, will you tell everybody
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: where they can learn more about your work, where they
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: can find you online?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: For sure? So I have a social media page on
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Barb Fletcher Coach, and I also have a website www
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: dot Barb dash Fletcher dot com and on there you
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: can easily connect with me by email, and I'm be
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: honored to have conversations with anyone who wants to know.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Perhaps a wee bit more wants to look at what
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: their current stress levels are and see if there are
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: some tools and strategies that we might be able to
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: help them put in place to feel better. Love that,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and for everybody to thrive.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I will link all of that up
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: in the show notes for everyone Thank you, which can
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: be found at PARENTINGADHD and autism dot com slash three
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: zero five. I'll link up the website and the social
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: media and all of that good stuff so that our
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: listeners can easily connect with you and learn more and
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: build their resilience with your assist and your help. I
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: appreciate you so much far in the work that you're
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: doing and how you are supporting parents and adults and
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: human beings in the human journey and helping that experienced
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: me a little more fulfilling and rewarding. I appreciate you,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: and I appreciate you being here with us today.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you for your time.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: I will see everybody on the next episode. Take good care.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Thanks for joining me on the Beautifully Complex Podcast. If
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: you enjoyed this episode, Please subscribe and share, and don't
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: forget to check out my online courses and parent coaching
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: at PARENTINGADHD and Autism dot com and at The Behavior
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Revolution dot com.