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Defying Norms: The Glory of Authentic Living · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: So welcome.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: So glad you could join me inside the TMC recording studios.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: So so glad you could join me.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: So welcome to the Kingdom Mentor podcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: We're glad you could join us simply for this, as we dive deep into helping women who feel voiceless Be transformed by finding their voice, embracing their voice and speaking, bringing a message of hope and healing.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I really believe, even as you go to hope, to healing, I bring there's an essence of bringing heaven to earth, of shifting atmospheres.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: A voice that was once voiceless finds their voice and really finds their identity and is able to shift atmospheres, is able to rise up and connect with the people that God's called them to connect to.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: So I'm glad you joined me.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We're gonna dive deep again, or at least starting towards the authenticity when I say women finding their voice is really from their authentic self, where they get that message that transforms them and transforms others.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So passionate about this.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So, hey, be looking coming up.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We got an interview with Kathy Owen, the amazing woman she's helped, 50 and over, build healthy habits and fitness.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: She also has an incredible mindset, techniques and mindset for you.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: So, speaking of mindset, also coming at the amazing Alana van de Venter, we're gonna dive deep into the neuroscience, neurocycling of your brain.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Also, just speaking of Alana, we're gonna kick off mental Mondays together.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: We'll all be asking Alana maybe one tip for your week about your mind, about having a good, healthy mindset.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Also, we got some other guests lined up really exciting, because we're really going forward to try to help you Any way we can.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: They camp out with us here and just talk about your mindset.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So we're talking about what you wear.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you a story from this past Sunday.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Just a few days ago, my daughter had picked out this shirt for me and as I put it on, it just wasn't feeling right.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I even was so unsure I took pictures and said Anna, does this look all right?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: And on my way up to church I'm about an hour away she didn't answer me.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So I'm calling her up saying Anna, did you see my pictures?
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Does this shirt look all right?
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: She made a comment about my pants.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: They were black and she wouldn't give me the AOK.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: But yeah, mom, it's fine.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I continued to drive to church and I knew I had to stop before I went to church.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I got more and more driving up the road and I didn't like the way it felt and I was just like basically, I did real about it and got an amazing response.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I wasn't feeling it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: So what did I do?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I was always getting other things.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I looked for some clothes and I found a shirt that was in my website colors.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: So I did a real about.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Hey, I don't feel great.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Now that I've got my green.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: It's a shirt, I feel comfortable in it, I am set to go.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Can you relate?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And one of my friends who we shared the same field way back when we were both professional golfers we were both all American collegiate golfers and professional golfers she DM'd me and she brought up something else that I never thought about.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: She was just basically saying I miss the days I'm just playing old golf clubs.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: These aren't even a part of my wardrobe anymore and I would really feel awkward if I were wearing them.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And then I love this comment.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: This is from Kathleen Scrivener.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Here I am 50 years old and I still don't know my style, but I can be my authentic self.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I tell people I'm all dressed up on the inside.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: So I too was used to just wearing nice shorts, dress shorts and a golf shirt.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: By the way, I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts it needs to be ironed, but it's one of my favorite shirts and that did make me think about that that totally as a professional golfer, our authentic self was truly showing up sharp with shorts, nice tops.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Some ladies would wear golf skirts.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't do that much, but I did a few times and so when I retired from golf the crash burned.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have Kathleen on, we can share our stories.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: And I went into radio, and that's a whole other story how I got into that job, getting paid to speak Monday through Saturday.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: But I remember I didn't have much of a wardrobe y'all and so I would go into.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I would go into work wearing my golf shirts and I hadn't quite changed my wardrobe and all of a sudden everyone else in the staff started wearing shorts.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: They followed tea, she's wearing shorts.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: And then shortly later we got a memo that said no shorts.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know what did I do?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I guess I went into jeans, I don't know.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So listen, this is basically a personal journey of mine, but I think it ties fully into how you dress, can affect how you feel that there's actually, as you're trying to be, your authentic self.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: There's actually science that backs that up.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: So when I'm talking about the science, I might look to the side here because I got some notes.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: So basically, this is a personal journey of mine and really for the longest time how do I say this?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I felt that I needed to dress in a certain way to meet other people's expectations, often to the point where it's uncomfortable.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Now I will say this my husband was cool.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: The only thing he said is, when we went out in public he'd say, hey, don't wear a T-shirt, wear a nice golf collar, in case you meet someone important.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: That didn't bother me, thank God.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: That was one thing.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: He didn't care what I wore, but I was thinking about this and wearing this uncomfortable shirt to church and I was thinking how I even dressed to please my mom.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I even dressed to please my mom, even though she lives way over Washington State.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: And another thing if any of you have followed me for a while, you always know that my mom says Tassad, make sure you have lipstick, no problem.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Now, I used to shoot without lipstick on and my mom would always point that out.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: In fact, I showed her a reel and she got was one of the things she said.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: So I don't mind wearing lipstick, but listen to this.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I just know what you wear.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Researchers have found that our tie can influence not only how others perceive us, but how we perceive ourselves.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: This concept is known as enclave cognition.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I'll have to ask my friend Alana to go deep on that.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: So you're talking about being in your authentic self.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: That's what we're talking about and how even what you wear can reflect how you feel about yourself.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: And if you go even deeper, even deeper into that, when you start being concerned about how others perceive you, that can actually create a mental problem for yourself, because you're being so stressed of trying to be someone really that you're not to please others.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I know that's a whole nother concept, but let them let them perceive you wrong, because it does you way more damage to worry about it.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Just let them.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Let them don't worry about it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: So I've been geeking out on doing some research on this, on the science of this being authentic to who God made you, because I really believe when you have your message, you're coming from this core of your identity.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: So when I say authentic, I'm probably just as much saying your identity.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Your identity is lined into your very core of your DNA.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: It's lined there by God.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Everyone is different, hallelujah.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: But the more we understand our identity yes, who we are in Christ, who's we are, but as we understand that identity is all woven into this unique person that God has made.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You are very unique.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: God has made you, so why would we deviate from that?
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to deviate from that just to make a living.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I understand that.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we gotta you know, like I'm, I'm passionate as this, like can I make money from this?
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: I asked that recently and they said why can you not?
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Who said you cannot make money from your passions?
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, another subject.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: So let me just look at this Scientifically speaking again.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: The incongruence between your authentic self and the persona you're trying to maintain can trigger a stress response in your body.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: So part of the persona could be what you wear.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I love the re, the, the responses I'm getting, not just from my friend.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Someone said I'm very eclectic and I love it, I'm joy it me.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I'm hitting a chord with the clothes, but really I think it's the clothes that Represent who you are like.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: When I got, when I changed that shirt, I thought so much better and I put on that t-shirt lines think t-shirt, that was my website colors, no matter.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I felt so much better.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I really got free, and I know I'm going back to my story, but let me just say this I Was talking with my friend about this upcoming speaking engagement and I said well, I'm gonna wear a skirt, I'll wear this jacket, I got some heels and she's asked me this simple question.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I'll ask you that how do you, how do you see, how do you feel wearing that skirt on that stage?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: And I was like, hmm, yeah, it's okay.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And then she says why do you think you have to wear a skirt and heels?
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Uh, once again, well, you know preconceived notions of what you should wear.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And then she just Brilliantly said why don't you wear just a nice suit and some tennis shoes?
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And she proceeded to show me texts of really beautiful Women in the wearing tennis shoes.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta tell you something.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I grin for four days in a row thinking, yeah, I get to wear tennis shoes.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't care what anyone else thinks I'm gonna wear, be nice dressed might get my nails done, I don't know, but I'm gonna go up on that stage and be me.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Speaking of nails, I used to for ten years, wrote Harley-Davidson motorcycles consistently.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I loved them.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I had no time in my place right now.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: But I used to have gloves that would kind of go here and here and I always made sure my nails were done.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You know French press, because it's like if I'm gonna be on this motorcycle all dressed in red or, excuse me, leather, I don't want to maintain something manini in this.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Do you see what we're trying?
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm talking about?
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: So let's talk some more.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Do you know stress hormones are released when we're not living up to our authentic self and we're trying to please someone else.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: We're trying to live in a way this might really hit someone home who's got maybe a dominating parents.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, do you know that there's, if we don't respond, if we don't walk in our authentic self, if we don't really truly fully embrace our identity, there's a release of stress.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Home hormones, like cortisol and you know that have a range of negative effects, including impaired cognitive performance.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: We can immune system and increase risk of chronic disease over time.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Do you hear me?
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: This is science.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And then this is really funny Psychologically, this internal conflict can also lead to emotional exhaustion, been there and cognitive dissonance.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I did a whole podcast I'm cognitive dissonance recently because someone said I had that in my life was a coach that I was like, wow, man, I gotta check this out and did a whole podcast on it.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: So why the talk and what's for this on?
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Well, and when it comes to these clothes and speaking engagements, I really believe that you got to get to the core of who you are.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: So here's my wisdom for today To defy societal and external expectations that don't serve you.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Remember when I said let them, let them judge you, let them Thank you.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Look, be a tennis shoes or dressing up or just walking in your authentic self.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, if you love to wear dresses and these high heels, I salute you, I celebrate you.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You are beautiful in your own way.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I have a friend who her goal was to run a marathon in high heels.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: She loves the high heels so much.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Let's try your stuff.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: You see, authenticity is not just a buzzword, it's a pathway to experiencing your true, authentic self.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And that, my friend, is freedom.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: And, like I said, I can't wipe.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for like four or five days knowing, hey, I don't have to pack a skirt, my dress, I can just pack a nice suit, maybe two, and got my high heel bands on ready.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe silly, but let me talk to you just off the cuff.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I we live in a very dark world and I think your voice is important and I think God has set up stages because you're seeking His word.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: More than that stage, I think God is setting up places online.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: It's not too late to develop a YouTube channel and really speak your stuff live or recorded.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: The reason I'm saying this is, as you release your voice and your authentic self from their identity, I believe there's going to be pockets of light that just scatter over a very dark world.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: And that pocket of light coming from you admitting your stuff.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe you know destiny sometimes comes from your misery.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Don't knock back, but you're going to be an answer to someone else's prayer.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: As you walk in your authentic self, you're set up for breakthrough.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I've had more breakthrough in the last few months.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: That has freed me up to like I don't care how my hair is, we're going live.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: We're doing our weekly.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I have a way to talk to my flock.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You have a way to talk to yours.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I can't talk to your flock like you can.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I can't talk and connect with your audience like you can.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: You may be a coach and saying yeah, don't tell me I should go into video.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, you should and you can.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: If you want a free guide on how to do that, go to teresacroftcom.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: A little segue into a kind of like a commercial.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: But yes, this is commercial, free, check it out.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: There are people here to help you.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I want you to walk in your authentic self.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: You know why?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Because I believe more opportunities will come to you.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I believe even maybe some friendships will come to you.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I believe that you'll be so free that you'll be able to do those things that you were once afraid because you were afraid of what other people think of you.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: When you walk in your authentic self, that imposter syndrome has to bow, has to bow to like okay, she's walking in herself, she doesn't need anyone's approval.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: That makes sense.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: We'll talk more about this with some of my guests coming up, because I really believe that now is the time, more than ever before, that people are really leaning in.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I used to have this saying speak the world's listening.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: And then the pandemic hit and I said speak the world's listening online, at home.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I still think it's true.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I think more people are going to be maybe searching through YouTube or Facebook or wherever, and they may stop simply listening to this.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: They may stop on your video simply by the way you hold your head high in authenticity and you start saying something Tell stories.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to unlock your voice by sharing some stories.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, I love to tell stories.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Some of them are ready yet to be told.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: You get me.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm just really honored that you are here and that you want to have a voice.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I'm using a new system.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Take a right turn.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: My heart's been so passionate to represent God in an authentic way, to really even invest in myself, obviously with therapy and best in myself with some training, because, walking in your authentic self, I'm geeky, I love to geek out, whether it's science or equipment.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: That's my way of being authentically me.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Thank goodness, the people love me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: It'll take so much and I'll say, okay, theresa, let's go on to this subject.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, kind of a scattered all over the place thoughts, but I hope they all come back together to this.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: You have a voice.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I pray that you can be transformed from voiceless.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Transform to a voice, because you're searching it, you're finding it.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: When I say voice, a lot of times I'm thinking of identity for you and you embrace it and then you speak, and you learn to speak in small ways.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: If you were to go back on my YouTube channel 10, 12 years ago, you would see everything from me sharing the word and sharing a golf product or showing this product.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I was just learning to talk.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Pick up a camera.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: That was after my radio day, so I wasn't afraid to pick up a camera.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: So we're going to use some of those radio skills.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Coming up, though, we've got Kathy Owen and join us on live on Instagram, we're going to do some really deep dive on neuroscience, with a lot of end events the expert on really uncovering cognitive dissonance, uncovering why am I not able to connect with my audience, uncovering some truths to set you free to truly walk in the lane that God has for you.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So you've been listening to the Kingdom of the Count Teresa Croft.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I really would appreciate it.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Would you do me a big favor and share it as you share it and get it's able to reach more people.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: Share it on Instagram, tag me.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I love to see that and, more than anything, I appreciate you.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I think you're wonderful.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I think you have a purpose.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I think someone's watching right now and they just are really discouraged.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: But let me say something to you.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I think inside of you is a perseverance that you're not aware of.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: You know why?
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Because perseverance is the muscle of your faith.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Someone else may just be really like okay, I want to start this, but I don't know where to begin.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Walk and listen closely.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: God wants you to walk in your purpose, lean in, go deeper and deeper into the vineyard.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I always have this picture of going deeper and deeper into the vineyard, where things get stuck to get quiet.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: There may be a breeze, but it's like the breeze of the Holy Spirit as you go deeper and deeper into that vineyard and then you come to a clearing and at the clearing I always see a picnic at the table, a picnic table and Jesus is sitting there with two cups of coffee and I go over and sit down and he pushes a cup back up to me and we just talk.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: We just talk about dreams, we talk about our children, we talk about everything and there's a peace that comes.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I think you can do that every single day.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: You spend that time with him.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: There's no greater tool to find your authentic self and to walk in your purpose than to make it a habit.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: It's non-negotiable, non-negotiable.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: You're going to find time to spend with him.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: You got a hectic schedule.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I remember when I had to get up at ODAR 30 because I had to be on the air at 5 am and I would go to the kitchen table and I say God, I only have really 10 or 15 minutes.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And God said, don't worry, this is just a season.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: We're going to multiply those 10 to 15 minutes as if it was an hour.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And then I was released from that and I could spend an hour.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I could spend time sitting at the feet of the father.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: That is where, my friend, that is where you're going to find a true, authentic self.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: You're going to discover your identity and all the beauty that is wired into it.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Your identity may truly be that you love to deck out.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: We love to wear nice clothes.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Because that's you, I celebrate you.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I may like to go towards the goal for the college, but hey, I'm not.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: That's not going to stop me from celebrating you.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I celebrate you.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: You are important, you are a valley, you are worthy, you are loved, you are called and you are enough.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this edition of the Kingdom Major podcast.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you for your views and thank you for sharing on social.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to you next week.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Next week we'll be interviewing Kathy Owens.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: I believe that's on tap for air.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Get a little bit of this help and mindset.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to you again soon on Kingdom Major podcast.