Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / Hank's BJ Memories (The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 59)
Transcript
- 0:00What's up, Hammer and Hank? If I hit the button,
- 0:02would you be ready to begin the show? Yeah. All
- 0:07right, let me press this. You're listening to
- 0:09The Hammer and Hank Show with Henry Oaks and
- 0:12Ryan Hoppy. Just a kingpin, Cali's hard OG. Wild
- 0:30949, he the voice they need. Doghouse days, laying
- 0:35down the cream. Too legit to quit, Hammer and
- 0:37Hank on fire. Mic and head, lifeline and wire.
- 0:40Radio beast ain't showing no tire. Underdog champion,
- 0:45always going higher. Wild like a wolf, howl at
- 0:48the moon. What's up, Hammer and Hank? How are
- 0:50you? Pretty good. Good. Hank's the hammer, break
- 0:55the wall. I have met a lot of people in radio.
- 0:57I've hung out with a few radio Hall of Famers,
- 0:59but I've never done a podcast with a Hall of
- 1:03Famer. Hank, you made the Hall of Fame. Tell
- 1:07us about it. Well, the doghouse got voted into
- 1:11the Bay Area Radio Hall of Fame last week. How
- 1:14excited were you when you heard the news? Extremely
- 1:17excited, buddy. What does it mean to you that
- 1:20you were on one of the biggest shows? ever on
- 1:22the West Coast and in radio in general. It influenced
- 1:24shows like The Playhouse out in Portland to do
- 1:28the thing. You got Flying Brian in Florida that
- 1:31was influenced by it. You guys were influential.
- 1:35And now you're in the Radio Hall of Fame. Thank
- 1:38you, buddy. On a scale of one to ten, how excited
- 1:42are you? Eleven. I love it. Hammer and Hank,
- 1:48I'm having a pretty good week. We're hanging
- 1:50out. Hammer and Hank, what else have you been
- 1:54up to this? Oh, wait. We're attending the San
- 1:59Francisco Giants baseball game tomorrow. What
- 2:03is that going to be like? Who are they playing?
- 2:06The Colorado Rockies. That team sucks. They definitely
- 2:12suck. They've sucked since 2007 when they could
- 2:15not win. What was it? A road series or whatever
- 2:19against the Red Sox? Mm -hmm. Hammer and Hank.
- 2:22Hammer and Hank. I want to ask you, how hot is
- 2:26it right now in the Bay Area weather -wise? It's
- 2:30a little nippy. I love that word. It's adorable.
- 2:34In Florida, it was 100 degrees in my car. I was
- 2:38sweating balls, dude. It sucks. Do you not like
- 2:43the hot weather? I hate hot weather. Then you
- 2:47would never want to be my roommate. Actually,
- 2:50I keep my apartment pretty cold. The electric
- 2:52bill screws me every month, but it's worth it.
- 2:55It is. It's 95 degrees out outside right now
- 3:00in Florida. That sucks. Yeah, but it's better
- 3:05than the Midwest. Hammer and Hank, I want to
- 3:08ask you. Have you ever heard of the radio show
- 3:11Lex and Terry? They're out of Florida. They were
- 3:16on the iHeartRadio app when it first came out.
- 3:18I heard them in high school. And I'm driving
- 3:21to good old Jacksonville tomorrow, which is like
- 3:25driving from L .A. to... Let's say San Francisco.
- 3:30It's about four hours. I don't know why I had
- 3:32a hard time saying that. And I'm going to be
- 3:33hanging out with them. I'm going to tell everybody
- 3:35out there about the Hammer and Hank show. Mm
- 3:38-hmm. Thanks. All right, Hank. Every week we
- 3:43begin with a memory of my time and your time
- 3:47on the radio. My favorite memory was when I won
- 3:50a boxing match in 2016 against a rival, Jake
- 3:53Heron. It was in front of a sold -out crowd.
- 3:56It was great. Did you ever partake in any boxing
- 3:59matches for shock jocks? Nope. You sang, though,
- 4:05at the Battle of the Bay, right? Y 'all are the
- 4:08big boys, yep. I sang the national anthem at
- 4:10the 2005 Wild 94 .9 Battle of the Big Boys. It's
- 4:15funny how I occasionally worked for Wild 94 .1,
- 4:19the bass party station, and you worked for Wild
- 4:2294 .9, the bass party station. Mm -hmm. Now they're
- 4:26the number one hit music station. Oh, well, I'm
- 4:29not sure if they're number one. Hammer and Hank,
- 4:31what is your radio memory of the week? You know,
- 4:36back in 1998, the doghouse had a female in the
- 4:41production studio. Yeah. I tried to get it on,
- 4:45but unfortunately I didn't. You tried to have
- 4:47sex with her? Yep. That is so 1998 radio. Now,
- 4:52when you were trying to have sex with her, were
- 4:55they telling you what to do? Nope. I was too
- 4:59nervous because there were too many people in
- 5:02the studio. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I really
- 5:04need to dissect this right now. Too bad you didn't
- 5:08get dissected. Hank, so how did it go down? Were
- 5:12you just like, hey, I want a baby? How did this
- 5:14situation go down? Break it down for us. Producers
- 5:17set it up. So the producers told you to go. Did
- 5:22you ask the girl if she wanted to have sex or
- 5:24what? No. What did you do? You just wanted to
- 5:27ask her if she wanted to have sex with Hammer
- 5:30and Hank. Nope. Tell us. Break it down. They
- 5:33set it up. So what was set up? I'm a little confused.
- 5:40I had to have sex in the... auxiliary production
- 5:46studio so i take it up but i didn't because there
- 5:50are too many people in the other studio wait
- 5:52wait wait wait wait wait wait so let me let me
- 5:54hear me out hank i'm trying to break this down
- 5:56so they so like were you naked i was wearing
- 6:03clothes okay but you said trying to get it up
- 6:07did you pull down your pants what was happening
- 6:09down my pants yep And was the girl cool with
- 6:13this, or was this kind of a thing? She was C
- 6:16-O -O -L. Did she try to do stuff to you, or
- 6:22was this one -sided? That was one -timer. No,
- 6:26no, no, no, no. Was she cool with the bed, or
- 6:29was she kind of mad? It was cool. Did anything
- 6:34happen? You get any kisses, any mouth hugs? My
- 6:38hugs, that's it. So you got a hug. A mouth hug
- 6:42is my term for a blowjob. So you didn't get a
- 6:44blowjob. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 6:47What happened in the room? Did she give you oral
- 6:51sex? Yes, they tried, but I didn't do it. Why
- 6:57couldn't you do it? Yes, there were too many
- 6:59people in the studio. Okay, okay. Did she place
- 7:03her mouth on your junk? Yep. And you just couldn't
- 7:09do it because you were nervous. Way too nervous.
- 7:13But you still were able to have a woman put her
- 7:16mouth on your lower regions, even though you
- 7:19couldn't climax. Right. You're a freaking legend,
- 7:23Hank. Now, how did it feel when her mouth is
- 7:27on your junk? It always feels good unless there's
- 7:29teeth. Pretty good. Pretty good. She could have
- 7:33been better or was she pretty good? Could have
- 7:34been better. I'm sure she loves hearing that.
- 7:38Was HR involved? Nope. That is so 1990s, man.
- 7:44That could not fly now. That could not fly today.
- 7:48You want to hear my story? Yeah. So I was working
- 7:52at 1025 The Bone on the Roger and JP show. And
- 7:57they wanted to know for some reason how big my
- 8:01penis was. So they had me a masturbate in the
- 8:05corner. And I had the same problem you did, Hank,
- 8:09where I got nervous. And even though I was nervous
- 8:12and couldn't get it up, there was this rich girl
- 8:15that drove right across the bridge to come shake
- 8:18her ass in front of me. And I still, even though
- 8:20I was not that hard, I still was bigger than
- 8:24the average penis. Just bragging. Hank, we share
- 8:29very similar war stories. I worked for Rover's
- 8:33Morning Glory, Steve Dahl, 1025 The Bone. MJ's
- 8:37kind of more family friendly, but I'm saying
- 8:39I've worked around all these shock jocks. Isn't
- 8:42it kind of unbelievable to think about what used
- 8:45to happen back in the day? It's unbelievable.
- 8:50Did the girl, how long did the girl go down on
- 8:53you? How about? Possibly 15 minutes. Wait, wait,
- 8:59wait, wait. You got a 15 -minute mouth hug, a
- 9:03.k .a. a BJ? Yep. Hank, that's why you're in
- 9:09the Radio Hall of Fame, dude. You're a legend.
- 9:12I'm astonished by this. Now, if you would have
- 9:18been able to get to attention, would you have
- 9:23had intercourse with her? Who would have? Yep.
- 9:27But you just couldn't get it up. Yes, I was too
- 9:31nervous. Either way, Hank, you won in that situation.
- 9:34Although it's always kind of sad when you're
- 9:37trying to like, you know, get it up and you're
- 9:39not. And then the girls always take offense to
- 9:42it. Sometimes I'm like, it's just a whiskey.
- 9:44Don't hate on me. This has been a very extended
- 9:49segment. Oh, geez. About blowjobs. And I've had
- 9:53a fun time doing it. But we're going to move
- 9:55on. Hank, did you have the jokes I sent you?
- 9:59Yes, I got it right here, right now. Let me hit
- 10:02the music. What do you have for the joke? Each
- 10:33and every day. Why do I always lick busy when
- 10:37my boss walks by? Why? Because staring into space.
- 10:45Because staring into space isn't a great career
- 10:48move. Sounds like you're getting a blowjob right
- 10:50now. Why do I keep buying reusable grocery bags?
- 10:55Why? Because I keep forgetting the reusable grocery
- 11:00bags. Are you drunk right now? Probably because
- 11:06there's too many mice in the house. Ew. I didn't
- 11:09mean to know that. Why do I feed the menu three
- 11:12times? Why? Because I have to pretend I'm not
- 11:18ordering the burger. Oh, jeez. Why do I check
- 11:23my pockets every time I leave the house? Why?
- 11:26Because one mizzen can ruin the whole day. Why
- 11:33do I always wait until my gas tank is almost
- 11:36empty? Why? Because I like my road trips to be,
- 11:40to feel adventurous. Why do I always hit the
- 11:48elevator button twice? Why? Because apparently
- 11:52I didn't get a response to enthusiasm. Why do
- 11:58I put my sunglasses on top of my head? Why? So
- 12:03I can spend the next 10 minutes looking for them.
- 12:07Why do I always say I'm not hungry before I look
- 12:12at a menu? Because the best of our sticks haven't
- 12:16introduced themselves yet. Why do I keep my old
- 12:21t -shirt on my own? Because one day it's magically
- 12:29going to become a yard work shirt. Mm -hmm. Why
- 12:35do I smile at dogs but I ignore people? Why?
- 12:40Because dogs have a much better track record.
- 12:44Mm -hmm. And that's it for the jokes for this
- 12:47week. Cameron, Hank, I got to go back real quick.
- 12:50Oh, geez. We got to come back to it. Oh, geez.
- 12:53Now, when you were getting that, PJ, on the radio,
- 12:57was it live on air? It was live on the air, yep.
- 13:02What did your family think of that? They didn't
- 13:06like it at all. Heaven forbid you get a little
- 13:10bit of oral pleasure. I think it's not that big
- 13:13of a deal. I'm astonished by it. Did you have
- 13:16any other memories similar to that? I'm just
- 13:18astonished. I'm in awe. Anything else? I'm kind
- 13:25of living in the past. That was such a good segment.
- 13:28All right. I'm going to hit the music, and then
- 13:31we'll do pop culture trivia, okay? Yes. Let me
- 13:35do it. All right. I know. All right. What do
- 14:15you got for pop culture trivia this week? We
- 14:18have the top 10 head record neon lights back
- 14:23in 2014. Come on, I got this. Avicii. Who? Jamie
- 14:32Lovato. I thought it was... I'm thinking of Blinding...
- 14:35I don't know. Next. Anything else? I had this
- 14:38song, Really Don't Care, back in 2014. Lorde?
- 14:44Nope. Jamie Lovato. I should have guessed that.
- 14:50Have you been spanking it to her lately? Nope.
- 14:55Oh, geez. Who have you been spanking it to lately?
- 15:00The big partner, Britney Spears. Hell yeah. I
- 15:03love it. You're the man. All right. Hammer and
- 15:07anchor. Let's see. Any other ones? That's it
- 15:12for this week. What is a late night talk show
- 15:15you'd love to see make a comeback? The Arsenio
- 15:20Hall Show. It did come back in 2013 and it failed.
- 15:25Big time. I'd like to see it make a comeback
- 15:28though. I think you should do a podcast or like
- 15:30a pay -for -play kind of thing. You should be
- 15:34on Netflix or something. Everett Hank here. It
- 15:36also says, let me load up the music. What do
- 15:39you think I'm playing right now? Music. Church
- 15:43music. How the hell's church been? You getting
- 15:46blowjobs there? Nope. Extremely good. How's it
- 15:50been at church? We're still studying the book
- 15:54of 1 Peter. Oh, yeah. How did that go? Pretty
- 15:59good. That's good, dude. What are you learning?
- 16:03It tells you not to mess up relationships and
- 16:05stuff. That's good. I should go to church tonight.
- 16:07I mess up all my relationships. How's church
- 16:11been? Anything else there? It's really good.
- 16:14Anything else you've been working on at church?
- 16:17What have you been praying about? God. Okay,
- 16:22I mean, that's like saying, what have you been
- 16:24working on for basketball? Shooting hoops. No,
- 16:26but specifically, what have you been praying
- 16:28about? Praying about the future. Ah, geez, we
- 16:32all do. And hoping it gets better. Probably not.
- 16:37If you want to leave us a voicemail, 856 -494
- 16:40-6773. You can hit me up on Instagram at DJ Hammer
- 16:45and Hank. We got a comment here. Hammer and Hank,
- 16:47I'm so proud of you for making it into the Bay
- 16:50Area Radio Hall of Fame. You're one of the goats.
- 16:54So there's a comment there. Hank, you can't hear
- 16:57it, but I'm playing music that sounds like soccer.
- 17:01What is your take on the World Cup? Because Mexico's
- 17:08out of it. The U .S. is out of it. So, are you
- 17:13rooting for Mexico or no? I was rooting for Mexico.
- 17:17They got good food. I always said America lost,
- 17:21but we always do. Thanks. Any other little things
- 17:27about the World Cup or is that the analysis for
- 17:30this week? The analysis for this week. All right,
- 17:33Hank, it says here you want to talk about LeBron.
- 17:36James, what's going on there? He has to make
- 17:40a decision what team he will be playing for next
- 17:45season. No, in our luck, right when we're done
- 17:48with the show, he'll announce it. Do you want
- 17:50him on the Warriors? I particularly don't. I
- 17:54don't either because it would jack up ticket
- 17:56prices. Any other reason you don't want LeBron?
- 18:01That's just about it. Hey, Aaron Hank. If I hit
- 18:05the music, would you be ready for Prick of the
- 18:07Week? Yep. Let me hit it. Turn it up in the club.
- 18:42All right, Hank! Who's your prick of the week?
- 18:47All those who did believe in me when I first
- 18:51started my radio career. The losers! Who cares,
- 18:54Hank? My cricks. They can kiss my ass and I'll
- 18:58fart in their face. Who cares? They're losers.
- 19:01My cricks. My cricks. Predicted it all the last
- 19:04six months when I first started at Wild. Then
- 19:07it was Wild Ground 7 back in 1996. I lasted over
- 19:1114 years. You're the goat, Hank. You know that,
- 19:16right? Yep. Can you believe this is episode 59?
- 19:24Whoa, buddy. If I hit the music, would you be
- 19:29ready for a buddy of the week? Have some positivity.
- 19:31All right, let me do it right now. Tune in to
- 19:38the show. It's Hammer and Hank. Autistic genius
- 19:42always keeping it dank. Henry Oaks on the mic.
- 19:45Hop, ride, and shotgun. Roll call for the buddies.
- 19:47We just having some fun. Buddy of the week. We're
- 19:50going to get the crown. Hank bringing smiles.
- 20:00All right, Hank, who's your buddy of the week?
- 20:03All the people who voted for the dog cows into
- 20:07the bank. Thank you, thousands and thousands
- 20:12of them. How much did it mean to you? Extremely
- 20:16good. Any other buddies of the week? Elvis, JB,
- 20:24Hollywood, Graham, Selena. That's good. That's
- 20:31very good. Any other buddies? Those who believe
- 20:37in me now. Hell yeah, Woody. Hammer and Hank,
- 20:41any other things on your mind right now? Get
- 20:47ready for lunch in a few minutes. What do you
- 20:50need for lunch today? The new chicken sandwich
- 20:54from Polish Junior. I'm so jealous. I mean, we
- 20:57have that out here. Why don't you go to Jack
- 21:00in the Box? I went to Jack in the Box yesterday.
- 21:04Ah, that's good. Anything else on the mind of
- 21:07Henry Oaks? That's it. Let me hit the music right
- 21:11now. All right, Hank. Sign us off. Well, I gotta
- 21:17give a big shout out to all my fans out there,
- 21:20especially for those who voted for the Dogtown
- 21:22Standard Debate Area Radio Hall of Fame, and
- 21:25hope to see you right back here next week. Peace
- 21:27in your hood! Love you, Hank! I love you, too.
- 21:31Bye! Bye now. Search Hoppy Radio for my show.
- 21:37H -O -P -P -E Radio. What up, menace? Mm -hmm!
- 21:51Yo, yo, yo. Like Henry's rhythm divine. They
- 22:22the blueprint. Every beat they design. Static
- 22:25in the speakers where the laughter used to ride.
- 22:27Hank led the show with that beautiful pride.
- 22:29Autism didn't stop him not amplified. Hammer
- 22:32and Hank forever immortalized. Farewell Hammer
- 22:35and Hank. Gotta close up the show. Legend in
- 22:38the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism
- 22:40warrior always running the glow. But all good
- 22:43things gotta lift the curtain. Be a host with
- 22:47the sauce. Henry Oaks and Reinhardt. Lightning
- 22:49never lost. Puzzle piece crown. Man, this dude
- 22:52was the boss. City missed the voice. That's the
- 22:55ultimate cost. Man, this dude was the boss. The
- 23:56ultimate core. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here, and
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