Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #260 Are We Politicians Now?!

Transcript

#260 Are We Politicians Now?! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Hello. Welcome back. How was your trip?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to you.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you. Thank you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: It's great to have you here.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: It's good to be back.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Feels like it's been a while since we've been face
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to face.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: It has been.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: On this desk.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I would like to say I had a nice and
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: relaxing break, but I didn't.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I do want to hear about your trip.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: We'll talk about it on Wednesday.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Okay. Oh, we'll do it Wednesday? We'll do it on Wednesday, yeah.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: A little teaser.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: A little teaser.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: A little teaser.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Didn't quite go to plan for those listening, but we'll
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: talk about it. I'm not going to tell you yet
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: because this is, as we know, for the Doders, it's housekeeping.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Perfect. Great. I'll do the intro. Welcome back to Two
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Dotting Dads. I am Matty J.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ash.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: the good. It is the bad.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: And the relatable.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: And we don't give advice.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: No, just suggestions.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Do you know what? We're flying pretty dangerous to that
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: line of not giving advice because we were just in Canberra.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Is that advice? Oh, yeah.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Go to Questacon. There's some advice out of Canberra.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Questacon?
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: What's Questacon?
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Whoa.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: What? What? Questacon?
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I know. I had to tell Zach about this yesterday too.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Zach the walker. Zach the walker.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: He likes to walk.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Zach Perez, Becoming Dad. That's his book.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: He is the Melbourne dad who does the walks on Sundays.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: So I said to him yesterday when we were in Canberra,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: because he's from Melbourne, and he said, what do people
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: do in Canberra? I said, that's a very good question
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: because there's only one thing I know, other than going
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: to Parliament House, which is we went for a very
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: important cause because we are spearheading something. I said, go
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: to Questacon. He was like, what's that? It's an interactive
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: science museum. If we'd had time, we would have gone.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: But it's like, so it's like the sort of place
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: you go and you learn about science. Of course, it's
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: tailored towards kids in a fun way. So like you
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: put your hand on the thing, your hair stands up.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: You can run against Kathy Freeman to see what your
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: pace is like.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Now that's my jam.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Be mindful I haven't been there for 25 years.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Is it one of those places that's a little bit
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: weird if you go there without kids?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Are they like, oh, why are they here? No. It's nodding.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think, like, sure, if you're a real
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: science nerd, like you could go, but I think everyone
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: that goes.
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: There will have a kid with them.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Not me, man.
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: If the two of you went together, I think people would.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: But they know we have kids. So that's like, they're like, oh,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: that's allowed.
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Getting inspo.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: If anyone does not have kids and they're thinking about it,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: just be warned.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: You get a couple of eyeballs.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I'll be honest. We were doing jumps on push bikes
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: at like 10 o'clock at night. So I think going
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: to the museum without kids is the least of our concerns.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: People.
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: Can you explain the bikes? Okay.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So people looked at us. Like we were riding camels
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: through the street. They were like, who are these people?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And we were like, hello, Canberrians. It's so flat.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: It's so easy.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: You can't not ride.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: People are so sus on bike riders now because there's
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: so many little bike gangs with teenagers.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: That's us.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was part of a gang. We
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: bashed one person, all right?
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Matt was bragging about his balance the whole time. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: then he was like, let's do a challenge. Balance along
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: this gutter. I was like, okay. I'll entertain it. And
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: then he did it.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: Apparently.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I said balance standing still, not balance moving forward.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: You can't throw brags out there and then not back
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: it up.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: So look, we were in Canberra for this event. I
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: beat him.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Okay. Just for the record.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you. You did very well. Well done.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: You deserve that victory.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: There were bikes to hire. Not electric bikes. The old
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: school fashioned ones that you have to pedal.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Bells and gears and pedals.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: And we hired them and we rode it to dinner.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Across the road.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: And then we wrote it to Parliament House because we
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: were there talking to all the other very important politicians
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: and media about trying to advocate for dads to take
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: more paid parental leave and to make it more accessible.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Yes. So Movember has put out this study and it's
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: all about that we're here for it too. Dads are
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: here for it too. And we got behind the cause
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: because we want to advocate for dads to be able
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: to spend more time with their newborn babies, which There's
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: no downside to that. I think I wish when I
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: had my kids, especially Oscar, early doors, I wish I
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: had more time that was open to me to take,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: if that makes sense. Or I didn't really have the
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: knowledge of what was available for me to take. So
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I think this whole thing for us is so that
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: dads can be more present from day one.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: The big takeaway from the report was the fact that
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: one in three dads take no paid parental leave. which
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: seems crazy because the benefits, if you do take it,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: they're amazing. Mum gets to recover better. It's better for
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: your relationship with mum, better for your relationship with baby. Also,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: it means it reduces the rates of postnatal depression for dads.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Quite substantially too, based off studies. Other countries have done
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: the same thing for years. Yeah. So it's really interesting.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, for us.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: How long did you have off with Oscar?
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Initially, I took two weeks, early doors.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: How was that? Was it enough?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: No way, no. Because you can't really understand a lot
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: in two weeks about anything, let alone one of the
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: most important things in your life.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, flash in the pan.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: And sort of like, depending on the situation with April,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: it was an emergency C-section. So straight away, can't drive
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: for six weeks. I've only got two weeks off paid.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: So that's all that your job offered you?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: They offered me two weeks, yeah. There was an option
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: to be the primary carer After mum goes back to work,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: but April was 12 months, I ended up taking three
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: months as a sabbatical unpaid to support April and Oscar
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: because I kept coming home.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Sorry to sound really dumb here. It's sabbatical, it's unpaid.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Unpaid. They essentially held my job for me. Thankfully, who
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I work for were really understanding of the situation, which
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: is I've come back to work in the city. I've
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: had to leave early, come home late at night to
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: see April who hasn't slept, Oscar who hadn't slept. It
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: was just one of those moments where it was.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Like- Everyone's just trying to survive.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Everyone's trying to survive instead of thrive here. And no
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: one's learning anything new. We're just getting short with each other, irritable.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: April is clearly depressed.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So did you go back to work after two weeks
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: to then take a sabbatical? How long were you back
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: at work for?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: I think it was two weeks max.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And what was that two weeks like for you? Hell.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: So every day I was getting home to a broken person. Unfortunately, April,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: she'd just gone through major surgery in terms of having
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: a C-section. She can't drive. She can't sleep. You've got
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: to think of like every form of torture into one.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: With a C-section, how much of your mobility is limited?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Like I'm assuming she can't like jog up the stairs.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: I had to shower her. Stuff like that. Thankfully, she's
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: young and fit and whatever. She started to recover quite quickly,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: which is great. But her mental health was so bad
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: because there was no reprieve whatsoever. And then I'm working.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: So I think for me, it was like either I
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: take this three months off or essentially ruin us. So
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I think taking that time off probably saved my life,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: probably saved a lot of April's life because those three
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: months that I took off, it gave me the opportunity
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: to go, all right, well, I want to, one, be
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: able to build a bond with my son because at
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: that point I couldn't stand him because of what he
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: was doing to April. But then she could get some rest.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: You know what? The biggest takeaway from that whole thing
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: for me is that I got to build that bond
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: with Oscar and then we became this much stronger family
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: unit moving into the next stage of our life because
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: at that stage we were like, what have we done
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: to ourselves when it shouldn't be like that? I know
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: there's going to be complications and I know everyone's going
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: to be different. But in a situation where it's like
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: one of the biggest milestones in your life, you can't
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: have a crash course in that, go to work and
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: then come home thinking everything's going to be fucking fine
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: and dandy.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: But I think it also sets a foundation for what
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: parenting is like for the next few years, decades even,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: because a lot of dads, you hear the excuse of like, well,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: just to the mom, you're so much better at it.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: You're so much more nurturing than I am. And it's like, no,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: it's more so you've clocked up the hours. They've been there.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: if dads only get that little bit of time off,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: they're just playing catch up. There's no way that they
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: had enough time to really understand what baby needs, the routine,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: et cetera.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: And there's a real mix between dads who really want
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: this time off and dads who feel guilty for taking
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: this time off for their employer. There's also a mix
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: of employee expectation as well. And it's like, if you're
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: in a toxic workplace where it's like, we'll see you
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: in two weeks, you better be back in two weeks.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: It's like, the stuff that you're doing over there is
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: not lifesaving, unless you're a lifesaver, but I mean, in, in,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: but at home, it's like, you're saying, Oh, you're much
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: more caring and much more nurturing. You've set yourself a
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: limitation with that sentence because the rest of whatever your
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: actions are going to essentially knock on from that. And
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: you're going to be like to your work. Oh, I'm
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: coming back. Sweet. You're prioritizing that instead of prior to
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: prioritizing your relationship with your kids, your wife and all
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: sorts of stuff. So, If you've got the incentive, take it. Yeah,
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of dads who- They don't
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: know what they can take.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think even what's available to them, they're like, well,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: you know, with a newborn, it's mum's role. I don't
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: need to take that much time off work. And it's like, no, absolutely,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: you do. You do because I was forced into taking
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: it in a sense because of lockdown with COVID with Marley.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: And I look back and I'm like, that was the
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: best thing for my family to have that one-on-one time
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: with no distractions at all because I had no work
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: because I was in lockdown. You won't regret it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. I think this is what blows my mind.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Now I look back, I think, okay, my wife's pregnant.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, sorry.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Stop interrupting.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I look back now and I go, okay.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Sorry.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Jesus, guys. No wonder I lose my train of thought
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: around here. I'm going to have a fucking serious conversation.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Hang on.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: This will blow your mind.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: One second. Let me just blow my mind. Anyway. I've
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: got time to sneeze. Looking back, I think this is
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: the circumstance that everyone goes through when they're having a baby.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: First baby. We're pregnant. Great. it's all celebrations is great
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: you get your affairs in order in terms of what's
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: going to happen when it's going to happen with your
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: employer with your family all this sort of stuff is
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: you set this expectation before someone is even born and
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: it's like we go i'm only going to need two
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: weeks you're fucking delusional bro you need more time than
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: that not just to learn and to help the basics
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: where it's like, I get it. Mom's always going to,
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: mom's the one with the boob or if you're breastfeeding
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: or whatever it might be and all that sort of stuff.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: But there's so many things that you can do and
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: learn over those months to make sure that you as
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: your family unit, before you go back to work, or
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: if mom, is really career driven and you're going to
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: take over, you need more than two weeks. I always
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: say becoming a parent is like starting a new job
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: and society expects you to be the absolute best of
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: it within two weeks.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: That's ridiculous. And if we normalize it for kids now,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: think about when they're adults, how normal it would be
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: if all parents took enough time off work. So there's
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: a great report by Movember. We'll put the details in
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: the show notes if you want to have a look
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: at it. And also the Parenthood was also an organization
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: that was helping out in Canberra. They have a petition.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: to increase paid parental leave. If you want to get
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: behind it, you can sign it. And, again, that will
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: be in the show notes.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: We have a goal.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: What do you reckon we try and what are that now?
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: They're at $ 1, 125.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Their goal was $ 1, 000, so they've already smashed that.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Should we try and aim for like we.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: $ 50, 000.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: We would love the Doders to really get behind this.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And let's go for like $ 2, 500. No, is that too much?
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: No.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: $ 3, 000.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And I would consider the signing of a petition from
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: a dota a personal favour. Yes. Now think about that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: A personal favour.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: And I will relinquish you from the task of giving
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: a review or subscribing in favour of... What are you doing?
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Stop me. Just do it.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I'll give you the keys to my car.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: You can have it. It's yours. I'll give you the
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: keys to one of Matt's houses.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: You could say that if Doders sign up, we will
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: do a 2027 calendar.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: We will.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: We will.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: We will. But if I'm honest, I've already given out
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: a person.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Don't promise too much.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I've already offered personal favours, okay? And that's legit. You
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: message me and say, hey, it's my wife's birthday this week.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Can you send her a message? Favour redeemed.
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Go and I'll sit there. Careful, Ash.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Fuck.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Careful.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Fuck.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so go and sign the petition, please. There is
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: so many good things about this. And I think, like
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: you said, if we set the example for our kids now,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: when we become grandparents and dads go, we're expecting, and
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, how much time are you taking off?
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: He goes, I'm taking my allocated time off of three
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: months or whatever it might be in that situation. Do
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: you know how happy I'm going to be as a grandfather?
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: I might even chip in and help. Who are you? Anyway,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: personal favours and dishing them out. Yeah.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: How was your Father's Day?
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: It was good. Well, it was weird, I will say,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: because we spent a lot of time together, which was great.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: It was actually really fun to spend all afternoon on
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Father's Day with another father.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I agree. And also, can I just say, for the
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: first time ever on the drive back from Canberra, you
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: made me listen to Casefile.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: How did that go down?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Not to promote another podcast.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: No, go on. He's a veteran of the game.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: But we listened to a story of how a mother
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: had killed her husband.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Two husbands.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Two husbands and then tried to kill her daughter to
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: cover up the murders. It was really lovely.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: It was a real lesson in parenthood.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: It made us feel a lot better about some of
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: the mistakes that we've made.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, this was diabolical, this story.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: It was horrific.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: We had a couple of days. I landed at 6 a.m.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: A real mix of emotions, if you will.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I landed at 6 a.m. after being awake for
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: like 48 hours, 6 a.m. Sydney Airport to get home
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: to see my kids on Father's Day. And I would
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: say the amount of artwork and stuff that these kids
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: made for me was, what's the biggest piece of paper
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: they make? Like one that you roll out on the ground.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: How big is that?
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Vic's got the answer.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: Like A3?
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: No, I have a life-size drawing size of both of
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: my kids.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: I fucking forgot to bring it in. It's huge. It's huge.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Like butcher's paper?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: It's like proper thick paper.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Was it good?
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Papa's partner Barb works at Officeworks.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, what?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: She gets the good stuff.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Officeworks is absolutely fucking great.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I get my birthday presents now from Officeworks. They do
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: like bead kits.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: You're such a dad.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Like they do fucking bracelet beading kits at Officeworks. What for?
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. They do everything.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you can spend hours in there just perusing the aisle.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Do you get a discount? Oh, yeah.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: What?
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: What are you doing, man? Help me out.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: I don't want to give you too much of a
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: good thing. So I'm going to ration out the discounts, okay?
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: This is the tip of the.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Iceberg on the discount front. You get discounts at JB Hi-Fi.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I get it all.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Do you know how.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Much dick I've sucked? Yeah, I get your discount. But anyway,
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: April made me a photo book. Well, the kids did,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: but it was really great. It just had a lot
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: of core memories in there of me and the kids
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: and a lot of really nice words about me, which
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: I don't often get to tell myself. So it was great.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: It was good.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: You're forgetting something.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: I am forgetting something.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: You had a little teary when you went through the book.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I did cry. I've been awake for 36 hours.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: You're being softy now.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I'm being softy. I had a 30-minute nap before I
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: read it.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when you cry in front of the kids, they're like,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Why does he hate it?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no. I was like reading it like the kids
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: were sort of in and out while I was going
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: through it. So they understood that it was emotional.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Sometimes if I watch a video and the kids are like,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: they start crying because I'm crying. It's just a really
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: weird mix of emotion.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: You're like, I'm watching Alex Johnson.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Please. These are happy tears. Happy tears.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: I know, I know.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: Before we move on, I do have one last quick surprise.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: So I know I had a little surprise for Father's
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: Day with your kids.
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: There's a part two.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: Speaking of your kids' drawings, you guys have a little
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: gift each from your children.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: No. She's good, this one.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Very good. Very good.
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: This is for Matt.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Oh. Okay.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, more mugs.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, these are great.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, sick.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: This is why I think us kids need more holidays.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Mine's a family drawing.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: This is Lola's little city.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Is that a speech? No. Can I have a look?
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: This is the speech that she did.
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: That you were training her for.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: This is why I think as kids we need more holidays.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Us kids.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Us kids.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Get it right.
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: He's got notes.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I feel sorry for Lola. Us.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: We.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Dance, monkey. This is why I think us kids, not
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: correct English, just saying. I wouldn't even know. Need more holidays.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: They definitely don't. I think they get more than enough.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: Learning is hard work. Us kids should be having more fun. Facts.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: So I can see my grandpa on his island.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Love that.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Very good. I'm going to put that with my mind.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: A family photo that's been drawn by Macy for sure.
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: So your kids drew these. Of you guys together.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: It's very cool.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Vic.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: But that takes a little bit longer to do, which
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: is why it's after Father's Day.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: You've outdone yourself. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: But how did you go? Other than obviously spending the
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: afternoon with yours truly, how was the morning?
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: It was a very special Father's Day this year. I'm
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: not sure if you've seen the news.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: I've seen the news or not. I heard, like, you
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: listen to you talk about it for all we get.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Can I just defend myself for a second?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't say that because you shouldn't have to defend
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: yourself because it's a well-deserved award and I've told you
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: that many times.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I've tried to be very reserved. I've not tried to
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: bring it up. Other people have brought it up and
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: it's very awkward for me. It didn't seem awkward.
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: Dan said he messaged you.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: He did?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: I messaged Dan at like 6am. It was my first message.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I messaged him before I messaged my dad. Did you?
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I opened up to message my dad and there was
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: like an unread message from like three weeks ago from
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Dan and I was like, oh God. I was like,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: oh shit, sorry Dan. I love you too. Also, happy
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Father's Day. And then he responded with a really nice message.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I felt like this year I went around to my
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: friends who had kids this year, like it's their first
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Father's Day, to make it a point to say happy
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Father's Day.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Don't remember getting my message from you.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, bro, you got a message pretty early. You got
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: a phone call.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I did all sorts of things. Spent the whole day
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: thinking that.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Do you know why? Because you've got my text messages
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: on mute. What about this, Vic? Here we go. Here
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: we go.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: Is that why he never responds?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Open your phone. Open it.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Here we go.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Don't unmute me. No, you're not on mute. Because he
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: said to me on the phone, he was like, hey,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: now that you're Dad of the Year, well-deserved, it's hard
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: to get hold of you.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: For anyone who's wondering.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Where this conversation is going.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: 2026 Australian Father of the Year.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Yes. And I will say.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Yours truly.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Congratulations. It's well earned. You do a lot of work,
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: not just with your kids, but other kids such as
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: the Starlight Foundation. And also you help to guide the
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: parents of this nation. So.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: It's well-deserved.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: However. It takes a village. I know. And you're chief
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: of that village.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I'm assistant to the dad of the year.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So thank you for your help.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: I've got a plaque.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here receiving
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: that award.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Now, respond to my text messages.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: For some reason, Ash's messages are muted by my phone.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: It's a mystery. He accidentally admitted it and I was like, oh, heartbroken.
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: I would be as well.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: No, I get it.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I'm annoying. It was a special occasion to receive that award.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: It was on Friday the other week. And so we
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: went to Admiralty House and for those people who may
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: not know what Admiralty House is.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: That was going to be my question.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: It's hard to say. It is next to Kirribilli. So
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Kirribilli being the house where the Prime Minister is. Admiralty
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: House is right next door. I actually thought I was
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: at Kirribilli and they were like, oh my God, you idiot.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: This is Admiralty House.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: We've been to Kirribilli House, so we don't need to
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: go again.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It's the same. It's the same, same. Have you?
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when Matt was there to play cricket with Fitzy Whipper,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: I fell down the hill.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And the award was presented by the Governor-General, who is
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: the connection to the King and Queen.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't understand royalty.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: So she could essentially fire the Prime Minister.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Do it.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: And she lives there at that house.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: So do you have links to royalty now? Is that
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: what you're saying?
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Anyone would bring it up. I'm going to call King Charles.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Let me just call him.
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Prince Andrew, get him on the phone. But the thing.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: About these award presentations is that, look, they are quite,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: they're quite long. And it's also very formal.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: They do string things out.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: And there were no children there. I did obviously bring
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: my children. I brought Marley and Lola. It was right
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: over Poppy's nap time and she's also been quite sick.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you a question?
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Please.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Would you say this is the dad equivalent of a
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: school assembly?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Yes. Okay.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Yes. I completely understand what you're talking about now.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: And the Governor-General, who's just lovely, Her Excellency.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Does she go by Your Excellency?
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I said to her.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: That's a bit much.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: You would love to get known by that.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't. Yes, I would. I said to her,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, what do I call you? And she
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: was like, ah, don't worry about it. She was so chill.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: GG.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Literally. And she was like, I was like, can I
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: call it The Excellency? And she was like, if you want.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm kind of into it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: What does your husband call you?
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: But she talked for a long time and Marley and Lola,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: as we were sitting there waiting for the award to
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: be presented, they were like.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, why don't this just hurry out?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: They're like, come on.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Kids are ruthless, aren't they? Wrap it up, lady.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I know. Fucking hell.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: They just don't understand.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: And there were a number of awards to be presented
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: and I was luckily the first one. And then after that,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: my kids were like, see you. And I just got
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: up and left out to the croquet lawn.
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: Fair.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: It's hard for some adults like such as me to
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: sit still for that long, let alone a seven and
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: a five-year-old.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And then my kids were just running wild. And I
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: was like, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. I don't want to
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: like with my award be like.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Sit the fuck down. Hit him with it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: But they were like, we'd love to just get a
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: quick photo. And Lola was just like, you know what
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: you can do with your photo? You can shove it
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: up your fucking ass. I was like, come on, Lola.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Just a quick little photo. You can sit on my lap.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: And she was like, no.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Lola's a unique character.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: She just doesn't want to do something.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: The other day at the zoo, she was like this.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: She was like, so I'm pointing to a bracelet that
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Macy gave me. She was like, so where'd you get that?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, Macy gave it to me. She's like, well,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I want it. And I was like, well, it's mine.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: She's like, listen, this could go one of two ways.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: And I was like, Matt, get her away from me.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: So she didn't want a photo, which is fine. But
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: there was heaps.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Of nice family photos from you guys.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we managed to like squeeze it in there. Because
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: there was a few different photo opportunities and like, you
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: know what, bloody photographers are like, actually, can we do
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: that one?
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: How dare you?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, sorry, sorry.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Just for those listeners, Vig's a photographer. You know, this
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: bloody photographer. You know, like, like, like that.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's up to no good.
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: To be fair, though, we will always be like, just
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: one more.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, thank you. How many times are they just
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: one more as a camera yesterday?
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Thank you. But then afterwards, like the kids, it was
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: like three hours, and then by then they were very
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: much ready to pack up and go home. And then
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: the Governor-General was like, before you go, I have something
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: very special for you young ladies. And we were like, oh, okay,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: what has she got here? And she reaches into her
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: purse and she pulls out these coins, quite large coins
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: and a lot of weight to these coins and they're
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: in a beautiful little case. And these are coins which
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: can only be given by the Governor General.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Are they like a $ 5 coin?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. They're like a novelty coin.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I remember in school there was these novelty coin things.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what's that? But now I'm like.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: So she goes to Lola and Marley, here you are,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: and they're like, here's that. You got any chocolate?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Is there chocolate in there?
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, is there chocolate in there?
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: And she's like, what else have you got? And the
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: governor's like, well, that's... What's this one?
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: I like your bracelet.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Where'd you get that from?
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Patner down.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Would this help buy Ash's bracelet?
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: She's like, in her handbag. Like, I'm taking this. Amex card.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: She's got like bloody.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: I.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Thought you were going to say they got, you know,
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: the new Bluey coins that are out.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: What? Well, apparently I've heard that these coins... In a
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: little while, a few years, it'll be worth something. Yeah.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: But my kids are like, thanks for nothing, love.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Put them in the safe.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: Thanks for having us. See you later.
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: Use it at the canteen.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: And I was like, to her excellency, I was like,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. So kind of you.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Where's my coin?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate it.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Does it have a dollar value on it or is
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: it just like a random coin?
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: It's a very good question. Very good question. I did check.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: There is no like I don't think it's there's no
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: like sign of currency on the coin. It's just like
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: a it has like a wattle.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: You're probably better off giving the kids a chocolate coin.
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: They typically sell for $ 10 to $ 150 AUD. You profited
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: off this.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Depending on their composition age and whether they are precious
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: metal or base metal.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: That's a vast price difference.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: You'd hate to be like, I've got one of these
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: expensive ones and then someone's like, nope.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: That was a shit year. Sorry. So yeah, it was nice.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Nice to have the award. Nice to get a tap
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: on the shoulder and get some recognition as much as
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: it is very self-indulgent. It's awkward.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: It's not. You're a good dad.
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: Just take it.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: So, yeah. So it's been great with that to then
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: also have a platform to talk about parenting and how,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: you know, dad.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: It's been a big parenting week.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: It's been a big parenting week for us.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Like, obviously, I knew about this a while ago and
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: then I forgot. Yeah. And then it's come back around again.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And I was seeing all the things you do. I
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: was like, man, that's a lot of stuff, but.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I know, but just be careful. We don't want to
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: give advice. So remember that.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Suggestions. Actually it's within the podcast is no advice externally.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Do whatever you like. It's like a free-for-all. I'm just
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: making up advice. People are like carrying something like, ooh,
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: you should carry that.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Actually, Vic, I've got to tell you, when we did
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: just quickly on Canberra, so they said, do you have
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: time for a really quick interview with the Today Show
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: on Channel 9? And we were like, absolutely. We'd love
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: to support it. They said, good. Here are some questions.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Just about your personal experience.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I forgot about that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: So we stand there. We get given an earpiece so
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you can hear what the host is saying in the studio.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Some of us could hear it.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: And it's like they go do a little sound test
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: and it's like, are you actually going to hear us?
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: And we're like, oh, gosh, it's really tricky. And Ash's
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: earpiece was one that was falling out as well.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: It was like a Bluetooth line.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It was a funny one. And they asked me a
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: question of like, Matt, is parenting important to you? And
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, yes, it is.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: It is really important. No, like.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Give it an award. Give it an award. They go, Ash,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: question for you. In the current economic state right now,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: how can parents justify with a presence of cost of living,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: looking at their minimum wage being only $ 1, 000 per week,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: how can parents justify taking that time away from work,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: which is imperative to keep going with how much they're earning?
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: It actually sounded longer than that, that question.
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: It did. I was listening and I was like, oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh, gosh.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wrong guy. Wrong one. David, stop it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: I was also like, did they brief those guys on this?
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't that question.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: That wasn't brief to me.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: That was like rogue.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: Producer chucked it in last minute.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Literally, that was a rogue question. I've got a bone
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: to pick with DC.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Is there... a pressure on the dads. Do they still
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: feel that pressure to provide for the family? Because, you know,
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: if they were to take this leave, it's at minimum wage,
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: so the family budget then suffers.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand what you're saying, and I don't think that...
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I think we should probably spend more time with your kids.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: You won't regret that based off, I mean, minimum wage.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I think the bond you'll build with your kids over
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: that first 12 months is... I mean, it's priceless, really.
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: Can I just say you handled yourself very well and
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: you tied it into money beautifully.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I said to Matt, I said, all I had, all
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: I could think of when he started talking about money
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: was MasterCard. And I was like, priceless. Don't say MasterCard. No,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: I was like, priceless, priceless, priceless. No matter what you
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: say now, Ash. Finish on that it's priceless. And I
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: think I said, the bonds that you build with your kids,
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: they're priceless. They're irreplaceable. And everyone's like, yeah!
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: And then they go, Matt, next question for you.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Two plus two.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: How many children do you have? And I was like, three.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: They're like, great, great, great, great, great.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Can you name them all correctly? And what was my
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: next question? I've had another one too. But we literally
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: got off air.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: You got the curly ones.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: And both you and Georgie Dan looked.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: At me and went, Even I did watching at home.
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, God.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: As you were circling trying to find the connection to prizes.
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: I could see your face ticking over there.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, please, please, please. He's got this.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Mindful. The day before I slept 30 minutes, okay, 30 minutes,
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: and then I fell asleep during the Grand Prix at
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: midnight the night before, slept through my alarm, got ready
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: in 10 minutes. I was so frazzled, rode a push
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: bike all the way there to then be asked a
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: question about the cost of living. Brilliant. Brilliant. I was like, no.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: The thing is the question kept going.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: It was long.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: And I was like, wait a minute. And I was
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: just like, Mastercard, Mastercard, Mastercard, Mastercard, Mastercard. Anyway.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: But well handled.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: This one is actually more so for Vic.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe for you, Ash.
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: You probably couldn't think of anything worse than this. So
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I'm now a running coach.
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I'm a running coach. And, Ash, if you would like
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: to run with me. vick mental health run mental health
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: run stick to walking thanks uh vick if you would
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: i know you've spoken about running you can do it
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: with it's with kick which is keep it cleaner there's
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: three five or ten kilometers there's like a challenge for
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: a number of weeks i'm week three okay and there's
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: a different coach for each week so luke bateman who's
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: got a very sexy voice i was i mean i'm
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: i had like a sample listen to some of his
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: words of encouragement and it's like wow it's like run
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: yeah it's it's seductive whereas i'm like you can do
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: it yeah the dad cheer yeah.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: It looks like run for daddy run faster.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: And they're like this is the best week ever and
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: then i come in and i'm like i had to
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: record all the lines here one time and the poor
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: office next door i was just like Woo-hoo! Like the
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: hype guy.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I've soundproofed the vents now, so you could do it now.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Sorry to our neighbours here in the studio. But, Vic,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: if you want to do it.
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I need some motivation.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: You can sign up. Use the code.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: I'm a bit upset that I didn't get the call
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: out for this.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Use the code. Matty J, sorry.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I'll be like. One foot in front of the other.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: It's too much. That's Luke Bateman.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: You guys are too similar. Oh, that's what I thought. Yeah.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: You might neg them.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Mean.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Don't do it. They plug in and Ash is like,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: sit back down.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: So the thing is about sim racing is the more
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: you do. I could be a sim race coach. That's
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: pretty good.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I'm all for it. I'll back you.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I'll back you if anyone's listening. Vic, if you want
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: to sign up for free, you can use the code MaddieJ.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: It gets you a free 30 days on the app.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: And then you can run with me.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, I'm probably not going to do it, but
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I hear your voice enough.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: And it's good enough for me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And if the listeners are like.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: We've had enough of you.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: It's better than hearing one of those American voices or
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: AI voices though.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: That's just rude. Those poor AIs. I do.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I had the Nike running one and they were like,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: you're doing great. And when I hear that, I'm like, oh,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: thank you.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: I do like the encouragement.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Your running is beautiful.
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: That would be good.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: I did the couch to 5Ks app.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: And I must have chosen the wrong one because that
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: jumped me straight to week three, then week five, then
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: week seven.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: By the third run, I was running 5Ks nonstop.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: It was like, get off the couch, run 5Ks. Done.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: And then I injured myself so then I had to stop.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: That's right. I was like, fuck's sake. I remember. You
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: were like, hey, guys, I've started running. And then like
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: a week later you were like, I haven't heard anything since.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Vic, I would never do that to you as running coach.
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I would ease you into it.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, get up. Gently.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Gently.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Get up. Just keep running.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a gentle coach.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: I bet you are, big guy. Gentle lover, gentle coach.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Gentle by name. Matt, you know us. You know us.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. I do very well.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: We do like a weird name. Oh, not weird is wrong.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Obscure.
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: Unique.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: Unique.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Sure. Very good recovery.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: We have a dota who's written in because obviously we
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: had Jerika.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Which some might think it should be Jessica, but you'd
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: be wrong. It's Jerika. We had someone reach out and
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: she says, my funny name is Savria. I probably got
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: that wrong. And I tell people it rhymes with Malaria. Oh,
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: so Severia.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Severia.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Severe. It sounds a bit severe. Severia. I wonder, there's
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: a dad joke there somewhere. Okay.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Get it. It's there on Funnier. You can get it.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Pluck it.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Jump. It'll come to me.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: That's how to pronounce it. Always gets a laugh or
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: a funny look.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Severia. Severia. That is, yeah. Imagine if you met someone,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: you're like, ah, what was your name again?
• 33:17
  Speaker 5: Sorry.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Severia.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you've got a name that is as unique.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: As Severia, please. Spelling for Severia, please.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: S-A-V-E-R-I-A.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: That is beautiful.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful. That is great. There's a dad joke there somewhere,
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: and before the end of the episode, I will have it.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Leave it with us. Let it marinate.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Before the end of a episode.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Ash, it is time for this.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Now you need us more than ever. Know that we
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: still have each other. You can send us your doting dilemma.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: You can send us your doting dilemma. Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Speaking of funny names, here's one from a doter for
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: a dilemma. Meshleen.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Meshleen.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Come on now.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Meshleen.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Where does that come from?
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Meshleen, Meshleen, Meshleen, Meshleen.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Don't take my man just because you can.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Are these real?
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Mimi is her nickname, or Mimi from Maryland. What a
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: beautiful part of the world Maryland is.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I knew you'd like that.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: The asbestos houses are rampant. No, there's one left and
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: it's my nuns. The rest of them are just, man,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: what's the deal with them? What's the deal? No, I
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: won't even get into that because I'll be here. We're
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: doing the dilemma, Ash. Don't get distracted. My son and
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I went to the local park and I've taught him
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: not to go up the slide the wrong way. And
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: to wait until the person at the bottom moves so
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: he doesn't hurt them. Fair. Another parent was ignoring her daughter,
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: doing the wrong thing, climbing up the slide and taking
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: repeated turns. For context, my son is three and she
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: was older, maybe four or five. This girl did it
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: multiple times. Fuck the frustration. The parent never got off
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: her phone to stop her daughter. I wanted to go
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: off at both mum and daughter. Instead, I yelled at
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: my son loud enough for everyone to hear, I know
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: you're waiting because someone else is doing the wrong thing.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Just wait your turn. What would you do? Mimi from Maryland.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Look, I think one thing that doesn't get enough attention
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: these days is the rules of the playgrounds.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: There's etiquettes.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: There's certain etiquette. And a lot of the etiquette is ignored,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: which for those of us who are abiding by the rules,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: it's extremely frustrating.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. And look. Can I just say the slide
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: is like a one-way street. Yep. You go one way
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: down it.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Except.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: I disagree.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, like, well, hang on. Hang on one second. One sec.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: One sec. I think the only time you're allowed to
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: go back up the slide and go against the grain
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: is when there's no one there. Then it's very good.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: As soon as one other person starts using that slide,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: the rules are absolutely enforced and it's one way only.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: What's it called? It's called a what? A slide. Okay.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: It's called a slide, right?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: I believe it is.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: Because you slide down it.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: Or a slippery dip.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Slide. I'm sticking with slide. You slide down it.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: You don't slide up it. It's not called an up.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: It's not a ladder.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Not an uppery dip.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: It's not an uppery dip? Yeah. Uppery dip. It's not
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: an uppery dip?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I know what I said.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: It's not a reverse slide?
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: All right, Mr.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Rules. Okay. Well, we're talking about your kid missing out.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: The safety of children of this country.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking about safety, but I will. What about
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: when you see the round ones and you see old
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: mate climbing along the top of it?
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Go hard.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Go hard on that.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Whenever I'm at McDonald's and the kids are on top
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: of the, I'm like, here we go.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Going to see some action here.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Someone always falls. I will say the response, it's a
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: tricky one because obviously the other parent is on the phone,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: not really noticing what's going on. I think what she's
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: done is maybe fine. just by saying, hey, you just
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: wait by pointing it out and saying, hey, you stay
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: there and wait your turn. Eventually you'll get your turn.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Obviously it didn't work.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I'm also not opposed to telling off another kid, not
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: like in a rude way.
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, sometimes you've got to, like we were
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: at the park and Poppy, we were like carrying to
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: the top of the slide, then like, holding it as
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: you like take it down and then there was another
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: mum that who was a very attentive mum but there
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: was just a split second where their kid crawled across
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: like a toddler got to the top of the slide
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and i was like this kid if he goes down
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: the slide he's gonna like yeah hurt himself so i
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: was kind of like stay back Halt, right there, don't move.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a big difference between having a
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: crack at a kid and then being a parent in
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: a situation.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: But you can also, I think, tell a kid if
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: they're pushing in. Oh, absolutely. Be like, politely say, listen here, fuckwit.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wait your turn.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: You fucking sit back down.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: And those exact words as well.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Sorry, is that your line? Listen here, fucker.
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: Would you ever have a crack at the parent?
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I'll have a- We know you would. Again,
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: I'll do it in the shower at home later. I'll
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: think about what I should have said.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: Can I add another rule to the park, if I may?
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I think when there are people waiting to use the swing,
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: it's a limit of 20 pushes.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't put a number on it.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I would.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: I would say, look, when a kid- Because when there's
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: a cue, come.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: On, man. If you're letting a cue up to get
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: to a cue point, that's too long.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: That's too long. But I think when there's like a
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: couple of people waiting, like 20, 20 pushes. Great. They
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: move on, move on next. You've had your fun. Yeah.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: I think it's, it's like, we're going to keep things moving.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: It's not excessive.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: We've got to funnel through the people. Everyone needs to turn.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of gray areas in parks, I think,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: but going up the slide when there's more than one
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: person at the same time, as the parent of the
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: person kid going up, I think the least you could
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: do is say, Hey, don't mind you climbing up it.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: But if someone's having to go, you need to let
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: them go. She said here. I know you are waiting
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: because someone else is doing the wrong thing. Just wait
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: your turn. I think like saying that loud is I
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: think the other parent should.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Have picked up. Also, when your slide time has come
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: to an end, fuck off.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Don't just sit there. I've got another rule as well.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: But if there's no other kids, it's free for all.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Like those swings when someone is like, you know, at
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: full speed going back and forth the amount of kids
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: who like moths to a flame walk straight through yeah
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: they got it's a death wish.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: I saw when i lived in dy and oscar was
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: really little we were all met some friends there or
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: whatever but i was watching this kid he would have
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: been about four or five on the swing at a
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: decent height the parent was was a tentative and then
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: like for a split second like someone's distracted him and
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: another kid's walked in front and it went into like
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: it went into slow-mo for me the hit it was
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: a perfect kick to the head oh and it was
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: like I'm talking like a flip and hit the ground.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: It was like. And you're going, yes. I was just like,
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: wish I was filming that. But it's like it happens
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: so often.
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: I reckon I see that near miss almost every day.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, the amount of near misses. And these kids
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: are just oblivious. I know.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I saw a dad the other day. I saw a
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: dad the other day save a kid, not his kid,
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: save a kid at the last second. And I was
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: at the other end of the park going, you're what
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: it's all about. We look up to people like you.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: But park etiquette, it's murky.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I think when you're preparing for a child and you
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: go and do, like, birthing classes, I think we should
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: include in that, like, an etiquette class for parks.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: And also, as well, if you're starting the etiquette early
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: on in the park, it will move into further parts
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: of their life as they get older.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: We should have included this discussion in Canberra.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Damn it, let's go back. Bikes are out the front.
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: Question for you both though. She said he's three and
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: the other girl was four or five.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: Like at what age would you let the kids play
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: it out, like figure it out in kid court?
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, I think if it's very obvious that, think of
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: it as a game of chicken, right? If it's very
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: obvious no one's backing down, at that point you need
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: to go, hey, what about taking turns?
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: There he is.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: I've got a name for the political party for parks.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Go on.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: The Parents Against Park Etiquette.
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: No four-park etiquette.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Damn it. Close.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Well, one of us could run on either side.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: That's a good try.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: A caucus, if you will.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: A caucus.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Did that yesterday.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know what a caucus is,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: it's actually a group of MPs working together.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Or a group of whales. It's a group of killer
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: whales who are hunting the same prey.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: What is that called?
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: A caucus. Is it really a caucus?
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: The orcas in the caucus.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: That should be a book.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Write that down. Where's the whiteboard?
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is from Daniela. My husband works full-time and
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: has a one-hour commute each way. That is horrific.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: That sounds like good quality time to yourself.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I would say that's incorrect.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: No, you are vastly incorrect.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Most families are doing an hour commute to the city?
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean, if you're on the Northern Beaches, that's
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: an hour.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Most families in the Northern Beaches.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Ugh.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: How long?
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: It sometimes takes.
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: An hour from Bondi with the traffic.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: Bellevue Hill, bro. How long does it take you to
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: get up? How long do you think it would take
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: you to get up Bellevue Hill in peak hour to
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: go to work?
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: 20 minutes.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: Liar.
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: Dan used to, we lived in Bondi. It used to
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: take him an hour to get back to.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: It's a flat answer.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Guys, this is about Daniela. Okay. Not you Northern Beaches families.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: No offense.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: You got no leg to stand on with traffic, bro.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: So Daniela. I care about you just so you know.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: You've spent too much time with politicians. You've avoided this
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: and just gone straight back to what you were saying.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: So the husband has a one-hour commute. When he gets home,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: he helps around the house, but his big thing is
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: trying to spend one-on-one time with each of our boys
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: who are six and ten.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: What a good guy.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Great guy. Great dad. My husband is becoming increasingly tired
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: and irritable and says he feels like he gets zero
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: time for himself. I keep telling him, you're allowed to
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: tell the kids no. They might get upset. That doesn't
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: mean you're a bad dad because you didn't play with
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: him one-on-one every bloody night. But he's a people pleaser. Well,
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: this is tricky. And I think part of it is
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: that saying yes feels easier than dealing with the kid's
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: disappointment or emotional reaction. Then he gets overwhelmed when they
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: don't listen or things don't go how he expected and
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: sometimes ends up yelling anyway. So my question is, do
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: you ever feel guilty saying no to playing with your
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: kids because you've worked all day and haven't seen them much?
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: And how do you balance being an involved dad with
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: having boundaries and actually having time for yourself?
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, that is a tricky one because, I mean, one,
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: you don't want to disappoint them, but at the same time,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: you can only go so long without essentially filling up
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: your cup, your own cup. The thought that he's having
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: already where he's like, I want to give them one-on-one time,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: that's so great, but is it realistic every day? Probably not.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: So maybe like if for me, if I were just to,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: and I see what his wife's trying to do, trying
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: to reduce his own expectations, reduce his own expectations a
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: little bit might give him a little bit of time
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: to fill the cup up And that smaller time that
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: you're giving them is actually more productive.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Can I use an analogy? Oh, yeah. I think it's
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: a bit like going to the gym. You have a
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: personal trainer.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: Shut up. I needed him. Honestly, motivation is an all-time love.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: But I think it's all well and good to want
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: to go to the gym every day. But if you're
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: exhausted and you have no energy and you go to
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: the gym and you're doing a half-assed workout and it's crap,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: I think it's better to have a couple of rest
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: days to make sure you've got more energy to give
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: a workout the attention and love that it needs.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: That's a decent analogy, I will say. You hit that
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: one pretty good. Because you're right, like you can't give 100%
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: of yourself to everyone all the time without it impacting you.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like I think like at
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: some point, If you let it fester, let it fester,
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: the reaction is going to be way more memorable to
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: the kids than it is if you would just say, hey,
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: I'm really tired right now. I want to play with
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: you and I will do every day of my life.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: But right now I need some time for me.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: But it's tricky as well. Because when you get into,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like with your family and
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Vic yours as well. But when I start, well, once
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: we get into that routine of, okay, now we're sitting down,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: we're having dinner. Once that's finished, you got to keep
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: the momentum going because then it's in the bath. After
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: the bath, get pajamas on. Then we're up in the bedroom.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Then we read the books. Once you lose any momentum
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: across those multiple steps, it makes life so much harder.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: And so when you want to try and pepper into
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: that a bit of play time, it just, it's so hard,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: especially for mom. Who's like, I've been dealing with these
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: kids all day.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: Get them away from me. Literally. Maybe, like I said,
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: reducing the expectation of the play. Like for example, there's
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: days where I just don't have time to give that
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: much attention to my kids at the end of the day,
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: because of X, Y, and Z. There's always, like you said,
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: you've got to keep them in the routine as well,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: do that sort of stuff. But I find that like,
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: even last night, I was tucking Macy in that little
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: split second. It doesn't have to be this big play
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: to let them know what you think about it, them
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: and the situation. Maybe just like a nice little moment
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: that's not going to take up too much energy. And say,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: it might be no to playing now, but just say,
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: I heard what you did today. I'm so proud of you.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: That was amazing, whatever. And then that little moment could probably...
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: serve the same amount of serotonin or whatever that produces
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: as an hour play. And the effort is nowhere near
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: and you can recharge.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that.
• 46:13
  Speaker 4: I would also suggest like something that you can do
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: at dinner as the whole family.
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: So if you're eating together, Hilo Buffalo.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Hilo Buffalo is a good one.
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: It's a great way for people to feel like they've
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: had their say and felt heard and seen.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: And for anyone who doesn't know what that is, there
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: are some cards that were made by Jen Muir and
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: it's literally, I mean, we play sometimes without the cards.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: And it's just everyone goes around in a circle. What
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: was your best thing, the worst thing? And Buffalo was
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: like the surprise thing that happened during the day.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes at my house when we're feeling a
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: bit funny, we just play Buffalo. We just get the
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: Buffalo cards out because a lot of them are silly.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: A lot of them are silly, right? And it's like, okay, well, look,
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: we've all had a pretty good day. We've had some whatever.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: And maybe it's like, okay, well, we do high lows
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: every day. You want to keep the kids on their toes.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: You just hit the buffalo.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Actually, and you know what you do as well?
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Uno.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Is you do the Uno game.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: And that's like a great low-impact game with the kids
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: where they're not getting too worked up unless they lose.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: Well, this is the thing, right? I've used Uno... as
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: so much learning for the kids like for example last
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: night april was she started playing touch football so she.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Wasn't actually we'll talk about that on wednesday yep.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: And i'd been it had been away so i hadn't
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: played with them for a full week and i was
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: like hey did you play with nanny and poppy and
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: like yeah yeah how'd you go and obviously the kids
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: winning and whatever anyway i sat down i said okay
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: it's been a week since we've all played together we
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: play three games of three like i've said before and
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: there is a ladder because there has to be a
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: ladder for everything with oscar And I was like, but
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: remember that there's no such thing as the perfect game
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: because it's obviously a game of chance in some aspect
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: as well. I'm like, okay, it's about working on your
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: game and progressing on your game. Concentrate on that. And
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: then I was like, there's no losers. There's no lost games,
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: only learning. Okay. And he was like, oh, okay.
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: I like that.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Right. And it was like, they absolutely wiped the floor
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: with me last night. And it was like, okay, great.
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: What's Danny and Pop been teaching you?
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: I have found some of the most impactful parts of
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: my parenting have been in those moments.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Has it come from Uno?
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Because it goes from Uno and then we go, all right,
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: everyone into bed. We'll come in. We come in. They
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: get to read and stuff and I'll go in and
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: I'll have a chat with both of them separately.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: And actually we should add in the pack of Uno
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: cards into the birth pack that you get at hospital.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: With Hilo Buffalo.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: With Harlow Buffalo.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Just to mix it up.
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: And the park etiquette rules.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: And the park etiquette rules. There's just so much work
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: to be done.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: That's a handbook.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: So many improvements that we need to work on.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: They're all just flashcards pretty much. But I would highly
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: encourage anyone to adapt really short games of Uno before
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: you go to bed.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: You know, Ash has actually recently bought shares in Uno.
• 48:46
  Speaker 5: I was going to say, can they sponsor the pod?
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Please! Our cards have had it. Macy keeps chewing on
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: the corner of them. It's funny. We know who's got
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: what card.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Based on the two marks?
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like a two mark. There's like a yellow
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: one card.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, fuck, a draw four's coming.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I would say a lot of, and I've
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: learned a lot about parenting doing it every night. Like,
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: oh no, that is not happening.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: But that's it. Tell you right now.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: This is how you're going to impress your wife.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Okay. Yeah.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: Okay. Game of Uno with the kids. And if there's
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: any sort of problem that needs to be resolved and
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: resolved as a sports coach with the kids, you look amazing.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: Just saying. So, for example.
• 49:23
  Speaker 5: That's so true, actually.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 49:24
  Speaker 5: When Dan's really good with the kids.
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, man.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: It's sexy.
• 49:27
  Speaker 5: That's a turn off.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: The other day.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: More than housework. Oscar lost three games in a row.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: April was like, I can't. He's not listening to me.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: And I walked in there and I said, okay, do
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: you know what would have happened today if manly had
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: lost and he said what i said they would have
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: lost six in a row he said yeah i said
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: but you know what they did they showed up and
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: they won against the top team what does that tell
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: you i don't know they just kept getting back up
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: so you can't sit here and solve because you need
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: to get back up again tomorrow and get to the
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: top of the leaderboard anyway he came out of the
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: room ran in gave mom a big cuddle went back
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: to bed and i was like what the fuck did
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: you do and i was like You just need to
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: pick the right motivation.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I got a little bit lost in the middle there.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is that's sexy.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: Did we answer that question? We did. Kind of. We
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: always kind of answer questions.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: Daniela.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be a concrete answer because then
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: they'll hold us to it.
• 50:15
  Speaker 5: The main thing is you can't parent from an empty cup.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: There she is.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: And if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review, subscribe,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: a couple of comments either on Spotify on the individual
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: episodes or overall comments on Apple Podcasts. I'll take both.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: But I would prefer you to sign a petition.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Or the petition. Actually, yes. Sorry, I forgot about the petition.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: You can leave the review on the petition.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Or you can do all of them.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: The trifecta.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: The trifecta.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: Personal favors are coming out of the wazoo over here.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: And subscribe and comment.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: So when you do sign the petition online. Just leave
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: a little note that you're a Dota.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Loud and proud.
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Proud Dota. Proud Dota and supporter of this.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: Love that. Oh, but also follow us.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can join us on social media. Instagram, TikTok.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: The Facebook group is booming. And there is still some
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: stuff on YouTube.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: And we'll see you guys on Wednesday.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: See ya. Bye.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.