Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 450. Alexis opens up ( and answers all your questions)

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450. Alexis opens up ( and answers all your questions) · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast. Episode off today.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: So without getting into it without well, we are going
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to get into it, how's my booh, my baby brain?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Without further ado. We're going to go straight into the
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: questions that you guys sent me all around my experiences
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: as a new mum. The pregnancy cesarean recovery all of
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the above. If you guys didn't listen to Monday's episode
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: and you're interested in the birth story, go check out
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Monday's episode. For those of you that are new to
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: this podcast, this is just like a one off where
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I'm talking very much about my personal journey. But we
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: return to regular programming next week. So if you're listening
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: to this for the first time ever, this is not
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: the regular style of the podcast. There's all the other
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: episodes will give you an insight into what the regular
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: podcast style is. So let's just get straight into it,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: and yeah, see how many I can get through. I'd
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: just like go through as many and if I need
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: to do another bonus episode later on answering more of
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: these than I will because there's great questions. Okay, so
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: the first one, how long did you work out for
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: during pregnancy? Did you stop at any point beforehand, Yeah,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I did. So I was able to do like workouts
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: with weights. I was able to get to around twenty
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: nine thirty weeks I think with weights. Then I started
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: feeling just really heavy. So then on top of that,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: what I was doing weighted workouts like dead lifts, squats, lunges,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: that kind of thing like squat to overhead press, just
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: stuff like with free weights on the mat is the
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: kind of workout that I was doing. I was doing
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Matt Pallartis as well to an extent. Obviously I had
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: a huge belly, so I was doing parlarties that you know,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: allows for the belly just at home. I used to
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: be a Politis instructor, so I was able to kind
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: of tailor my own workouts for myself. And I was
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: a personal trainer as well, so I had a good
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: idea of you know, what worked for pregnancy and what
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: didn't anyway, so I do that on my own. Then
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: kind of at the thirty week mark, I was like,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to go for walks now, just lots
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: of walks. And I was doing around ten k steps
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: a day until probably thirty two weeks, and then I
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: started like aiming for maybe seven k steps a day,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: because I just started feeling heavier and heavier, and then
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: it was kind of a risk versus reward. If I
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: walked too much, then by the end of the day,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: my pelvis would be quite sore. If I didn't walk
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: at all, my whole body would be fucked by the
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: end of the day, Like I felt like absolute shit,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: and I would sleeping was even worse. So I was
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: finding that happy medium of like I need to move.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Motion is lotion. A producer she commented, and she was like,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: oh my god, my physio said, motion is a lotion,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: and I was like, that's so, like moving actually helps
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: you feel better, but then like there's a there's a
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: there's a tipping point, and then you feel worse. So
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I had to find what that was. And so yeah,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: after thirty weeks, it was really just walking. And then
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: at the very end of the last two weeks, my
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: walks were very short. I wasn't doing much. I was
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: just uncomfortable in general, but I was still walking. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: was still tackling the woommeloo stairs. I was still but
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: very slowly. I was I was slow, I was large,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: and I was in charge, but yeah, that's kind of
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: when I pretty much stopped. Let's let's call it the
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: thirty week mark. Someone said, did you have the day
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: three meltdown? And if so, how did you handle it?
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I definitely had like a lot of emotional waves, and
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I think it wasn't I wouldn't say it was a
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: meltdown as such, but it was very That was when
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I was the most emotional was around day three, and
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: like I was saying, I was like really like apprehensive
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: to leave the hospital. I was really like, I don't
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: want this bubble to ender. It like I wanted time
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: to freeze. I felt like I needed I don't know.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I was just very, very emotional, but I was also
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: very happy. Whereas other people experience that intensity of emotions,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: but they experience a massive dip. You often hear about,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: you know, this surge of emotions and then a massive
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: like plummet of emotions. So while I was very touchy emotionally,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't experience like the lows that a lot of
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: people do experience that you know, can be quite intense
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: for some women. Have you found the recovery heading towards
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: an elective C section in eight weeks? So I'm keen
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: for tips. So my recovery overall has been very good.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: The main thing that I think you want to think
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: about is make sure that you're having I mean again,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: everyone's different, so I hate to give advice on something
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: that is so specific to the individual, But for me,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I made sure that for the first you know, while
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I was in hospital, I barely was doing much. So
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I was in bed, around the bed, walking up and
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: down and like in the hospital, the furthest I went
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: was down the corridor to the classes that they would
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: give down the elevator to go and get a coffee
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: and back up. But Tyrone was mainly getting the coffee.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Is I didn't leave the hospital. I didn't leave the
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: fucking hospital for five days. When I walked out of
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the fifth day, I was like, oh my god, this
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: is like a binn in a time. While it was
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: so weird getting like the fresh outdoor air, it was
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: just bizarre, but I purposely was like, I'm going to
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: do as little as possible. Another thing that's super important
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: with the cesarean recovery, and also I think just with
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: normal like with a vaginal birth as well, is being
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: super careful with how I got up from a lying
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: down position. I was so careful not to force anything,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: especially like because if you were to, if I was
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to reef myself up too quickly or to laugh or
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: to cough, it would feel like it wasn't but the
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: sensation felt like my scar was bursting open, and it
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: wasn't that like it was very securely shut. But it
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: felt like burning and pushing at the sight of the
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: scar if I did anything too quickly. So I was
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: really mindful to very slowly roll on my side, use
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: my arms to push myself up, kind of as you
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: would when you're pregnant. You do the same after for
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: the you know, for the next couple of weeks, so walking.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: One thing that saved me is those belly bands that
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: the physio gives you. I got there's two. There's one
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: that they gave me at the hospital that was a
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: lot softer, and then two weeks later I graduated to
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: one that I'd bought online that was recommended by the physio,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: and that was a lot firmer. And it's one that
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I still wear, and I'm probably gonna still wear up
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: until probably three months postpartum. I don't wear it all day.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not wearing it right now. But if I'm going
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: for a walk, if I'm going to be standing a lot,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I will wear that because basically it's encouraging your abs
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: to heal closer together. Okay, it's not a substitute for exercise.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: It's not a substitute for the breathing exercises that you
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: need to be doing. But instead of you walking around
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: with your abs completely relaxed but you don't, instead of
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: timing think I've got a ton of my abs the
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: whole time, that brace is helping that. And it's helping
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: your back as well. If I was walking around with
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: a ten centimeter separation with relaxed abs, I can imagine
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: my lower back would be shot to pieces. So that
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: the band has been an absolute game changer, lifesaver for
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: me personally. So highly recommend if that's something that you
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: feel that you feel quite uncomfortable, you lower back is hurting,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to give that a go and then make sure you're
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: drinking lots of water. That's something that I've got to
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: keep reminding myself off. And yeah, just do not rush
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: into exercise. Do rehabilitation movements for a while before you
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: start working out. I think a big mistake that people
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: make is they'll just rush into like full on workouts
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: when you get the all clear from a physio and
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: even if you don't go to a physio and you think,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, six weeks I can start training. Six six
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: weeks is when you can start, like, you know, moving
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: your body with more, you know, under more stress than
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: what it's been used to recently. It's not go and
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: do a hectic hit class, go and do a run. God,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: it's not the old clee to do everything. You've got
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: to ease back into it. And when you ease back
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: into it, you do it properly. You do it once
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: and then it's done. If you rush into it, then
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: you're going to regress back and forth, back and forth,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: back and forth with injuries and issues. Okay, next, I
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: feel like I was just lecturing you guys, are sorry
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: about that? Since since what's one thing that you encountered
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: that you wish you knew before? Pregnancy slash labor and
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the newborn thing so much so much? You know what? Like,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I just feel like it's been amazing. I'm loving, I'm
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: genuinely loving loving this experience. But one thing that you
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: have to be really mindful of. It's one day at
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: a time. You take one day at a time every
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: time I'm about to be and especially with twins, like twins,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: two twins, screaming, crying, when you're on your own at home,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I do have like tyrone here a lot, and you know,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: my parents will come and whatever, like we've got help
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: from our family. But there are many times where I'm
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: navigating a half day, like a six hour patch alone
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: with the twins. And I'm telling you right now, two
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: screaming babies that you're trying to settle after you've met
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: all their like like nappy is feeding this. That is
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: no joke, Like it is not a fucking joke. And
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: it like sometimes you're like, oh my god, oh my god,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: oh my god, Like it's getting to your head. It's
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: getting too your head. And one thing that you have
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: to remind yourself it's like one hour at a time,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: one day at a time. You know, stop thinking, oh
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: my god, I'm not gonna be able to like deal
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: with this. I can't deal with this, don't. Like it's
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: very easy in these moments to blow it out into
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: this catastrophic scenario where you think, what have I done?
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so intense. I'm not gonna
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: be able to handle this because you're telling yourself, this
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: is now my new reality. But it's not. It's this
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: is gonna go for half an hour, okay, and then
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: the next half an hour, I'm having a lot of
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: fun with them, and then the next hour they're asleep,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: and then the next hour. You know, So you got
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: to compartmentalize all the different stages, the hard stages and
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: the easy stages at night when you're working up. You know,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: there are some nights where they sleep so well in
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: such good patches, and they wake up at the same time,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: they both at the same time. Then they go back
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: to sleep and they're waking up two three times throughout
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the night, and it's really good. There are other nights
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: where one of them, Cruise in particular, will stay awake
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: for hours and hours and hours and hours, and your
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: sleep is shot to pieces. And that's just one thing
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: that you know. You know, tomorrow and I look at
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: each other and we're like, okay, we can't We're not
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: going to lash out at each other. We're a team
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: with like one hour at a time, and you do
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: get through it, and then the next day you've got
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: a fresh perspective. I think if I was trying to
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: control the situation too much, it would get extremely overwhelming.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: And this is something that it's not that I necessarily
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: knew this before that I wish I knew something that
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: you can only really learn as you go. I think
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: there's so many things that no matter how many videos
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I watched, no matter how many things people sent me,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: no matter how many books I read. I only read
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: two books, but no matter what I read, there's certain
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: things that you only learn as you do. Okay, But
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: one thing I will say is that my dog Hubib
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: actually taught me a lot when it comes to parenting,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: because when I got him as a puppy, I was
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: very catastrophic and I didn't really enjoy that. This is
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: gonna sound ridiculous comparing a puppy to children, but it's
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the truth. I didn't enjoy the puppy stage noway near
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: as much as I wished I did. Like I regret
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: how catastrophic I was in my thoughts because he was
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: so clingy as a puppy, which is a fucking puppy,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: the poor thing. But I couldn't leave the house. He
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: would be squealing if it wasn't on my lap at
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: all times. And if someone had said to me at
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: the time that I was in the trenches of that
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: puppy stage, if someone had said to me, this is
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: only gonna last for two and a half months. At
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: the two and a half months, something's going to change
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: and he's going to become a lot more self sufficient.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: You'll be able to live the house. Everything would be
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: perfectly fine. If I knew that it was that short lived,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I would have dealt with it so much better. So
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I remember saying too. I would say too, hbib. But
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, You've taught me a lot
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: about mindset around this because I'd look at the babies
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, there's going to be a time where
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be like, oh my god, you know
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: that newborn stage, and I didn't have it, Like, yes,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: it's really hard, but one hour at a time, there's
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: gonna be a bad hour. There's gonna be an amazing
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: hour to be an hour where I'm actually focused on
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: work and all I'm thinking about is work. You know
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of people said to me, You're only ever
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: gonna you know, you know, everything's gonna go out the window,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: and when you try and work, you only got no.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Like I've found a lot of balance. When I'm focusing
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: on work, I'm able to focus on work, you know,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: and then when I'm back with the kids, it's the
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: best feeling in the world. Like that's for me. The
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: most pleasantly surprising thing is how much I still feel
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: like myself. My biggest fear was that I would lose myself.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But I still really feel like me. And I think
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: that comes down to the partner that I have, the
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: support that we have with our family, and I think
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: it also comes down to how I felt about myself
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: and my life prior to having kids, and I was
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: really working on what I wanted for myself. I think
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: a lot of people if they already feel like they
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: don't have a sense of purpose or they haven't found
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: that thing for themselves, and then they have kids, then
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: it might even feel like even more of a detachment
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: from who they are. Right anyway, I'm going on a tangent.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Did you choose your names? The names? Tyrone and I
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: went back and forth with so many names, and there
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: were many names that we didn't agree on, and so
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: these were kind of the two main ones that we
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: had agreed on we had. There were a couple of
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: other names, which I won't mention just in case we
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: do have I don't know. I really think I'm two
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and done to be honest, But anyway, we had a
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: few other names, but in all honesty, these were the
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: ones that we were both equally as happy with. We
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: both really resonated within these names, and I didn't want
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: the names to be too matchy, but I didn't want
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: them to be too like, one too classical and one
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: really modern. And I liked these because they're both like
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Spanish names, you know, Cruz and Santiago. So I thought,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: this is like it kind of it follows a theme,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: but it's not too matchy matchy as well, So I
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: was really happy with that. Next question, are you two
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: and done? I think I'm two and done. Tyrone always
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: wanted three. Then when we had the two, he's like, nah,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: two and done, this is perfect, this is amazing. And
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: now I think he's like, we could maybe go for
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: a third. I'm like, I love the idea of having two.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for my future self, but
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: where my head is at right now, Yes, I am
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: too and done. I love. I think two is perfect. Look,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: it's hard work with twins. I'm not gonna lie. It
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: is hard work, but I'm loving it. I feel pressure
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to get back to your pre baby body. I'm trying
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: not to pressure myself, but it's hard. I thought that
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: in my head I would have more pressure. Look, I've
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: been quite fortunate with how my body's carried this pregnancy.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I'll be dead honest with you, Like I didn't, you know,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: like my body didn't change that much other than like
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: the physical separation all that, But physically I look quite
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: similar to how I did prior. I know that everyone
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: goes through like different changes with their pregnancies, so I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: don't want to stand to it and be like, oh
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: my god, Like I don't have any pressure because like,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: there wasn't too many massive changes. However, one thing that
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I really you know, I'm trying not to pressure myself into,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: is what my body is capable of doing. It's not
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: necessarily the esthetics of it. It's more so like I
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: can't wait to be able to do what my body
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: used to be able to do. But I'm just reminding myself,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: don't rush into it, don't rush into it. Just take
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: your time and do what the physio says, do as
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: much rehab as possible. And I'm doing the rehab every
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: day because for me, the pressure comes from and it's
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: more so like the feeling that I get like I'm desperate.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I'm desperate to go for a run, but like I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: need to just slow down, like the fact that I
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: don't know how long it's going to take me to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: like get to where I used to be physically and
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: what I was able to do that. I do think
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: that I've got to like really reel it in and
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: remind myself often like don't put the pressure on, take
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: your time, take your time to be able to get
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: back to that. Like my I prided myself on how
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: strong my care was and like the crazy things I
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: could do on the reforma and in polarities and all
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: of that, and I used to challenge myself and do
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: the hardest shit and that there's gonna be a long
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: time before I can do that again. But you know,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: I think when I remind myself of like the journey
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: that I'm on, then I feel less pressure. I also
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: think it's important to remind yourself that's it's it's a
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: bit of a balance, you know, if you're pressuring yourself
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: to get back to your pre body appearance because it's
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: like I've got to look a certain wa, I've got
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: to look a certain way, I've got to look a
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: certain way. Then obviously that's not good. But also I
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: do think that there is something healthy in saying I
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: want to be able to feel this way again. I
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: want to be able to like deadlift and you know,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: or whatever exercise that made you feel good. Because one
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: thing that I would get asked when I was pregnant
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: is you know, what is one thing that you missed
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: the most? And I said, I can't wait to have
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: my body back. And people like, oh, don't be so
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: hard on yourself, you know, just like just let it be.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: You've had a baby. Your body's never going to be
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: the same. It's you know, it's never going to be
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: the same. And just accept your body for what it is.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, firstly, I'm not talking about aesthetics.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about having my own autonomy over my own body.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: There's a difference between saying I want my body the
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: way it looked versus I want the use of my
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: body back. Because when I'm an incubator for two human beings.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: There's many things I cannot do with my body. Okay,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: so I'm what I meant by saying I want my
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: body back, meant I want to be able to sleep
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: on my tummy. I want to be able to you know, exercise,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: you know, jump, run, whatever, like That's what I'm excited for.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: But I also think that it's okay to want to
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: be able to have the physicality that you used to have. Okay,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: it might not be the same, but I don't think
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: you know, it goes both ways. I think sometimes there's, yes,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: there's way too much pressure on women to get back
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: to their pre body baby. But then I think when
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: a woman says I can't wait to be I feel
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: good about it and I can't wait to start exercise
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: and I can't wait, and then she gets shut down.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Oh you know, you know you accept it for what
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: it is. It will never be the same for you. Maybe,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: and that might be the case. But also, don't shut
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: someone down. I know many women who and feel and
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: are even stronger than they were before they had the kids.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: So like each to their own. Let someone express the
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: desires and let it be, you know, I think there's
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: too much of it, like, oh my god, it's it
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: can go both ways, you know, So I think just
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: allow people to just have the desires that they want.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Hopefully your desires are for healthy reasons because it makes
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: you feel good. But that's how I feel. Do you
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: drink decaf coffees no caffeine all the fucking way. However,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: when I was pregnant, I maxed out my coffee at
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: two per day because that's what I was told to do.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: What was harder than you expected, and what has been
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: easier than you expected. I feel like there's been a
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: lot of things that have been easier than expected. In
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: the sense that I thought that when I would have
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: especially given that it was twins, I prepped myself for
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: the hardest fucking thing ever. I was like, you will
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: have no time. You will have nothing for the first
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: like two months or three months. It will be sorrow.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: And I think because of that, I've been pleasantly surprised
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: that I actually have pockets of time. The day is
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: what I have come to realize is that with two newborns,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the day is shattered into fragments. I don't have long
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: patches to be able to do things but if I
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: am on the ball. Some days it's not possible at all,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and that's okay, But some days it is possible. Then
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, I've got one hour here, okay, And
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: instead of folding the clothes, I'm going to work on
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: this episode that I want to work, and I'm going
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: to work on, you know, writing this book, or I'm
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: going to work on whatever, so you know, pick pick
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: the fragments of the day that work for you. And
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: by doing that, I've been pleasantly surprised at how much
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: off myself still exists. I thought that I would be
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: in the trenches of the three month blow of absolutely nothing,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: and that's not the case. There's like hard patches, but
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: overall I'm still me. I still go out, Like last night,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I went out with my best friend live and we
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: went and had some drinks and we had dinner, and
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Tyrone was with the twins. I thought that I could
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: never be with two newborns alone, or Tyrone would never
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: be able to be with two newborns alone. But we
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: both manage it quite well so that way the other
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: is able to go and do things someone as do
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: we get paid help at this point, no, we don't
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: have paid help. Not to say that in the future,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't consider that absolutely, Like who knows what the
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: next stage are going to look like. But at the moment,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: it's just us two and then our families. So Tyrone's
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: mum helps out, my parents come over and help out
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: all the time, my sister, so we've got family help.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: We've got a really really good community around us. But
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: also often I'm alone with the twins very often, and
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: often Tyrone will be alone with the twins, and we
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: do a lot of the two of us as well.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: So that's been a surprise to me that we've been
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: able to do that. Do you still maintain a healthy
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: morning routine with babies? Absolutely fucking not. My morning routine
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: is gone for the interim, just for now, just because.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: And the reason I say that is, well, obviously I've
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: got two newborns, but also because they wake up between
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: five am and six am, I'm not about that life
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: of getting up prior to that. Also, I'm very like
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: my sleep is shot to pieces throughout the night. Some
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: nights I have really good sleep, they only wake up twice.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Other nights it's not good. And so I purposely have
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: put my morning routine. I've completely changed it. What my
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: morning routine looks like now is wake between six and seven,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Feed the babies, whether it's on the breast or milk
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: that i've pumped, Then do a pump, then get the
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: babies changed, get them dressed, put them in the pram.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: And every single morning I leave the house and I
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: go for a walk with the babies. That is a
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: routine that has been I can't explain what that does
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: for me. I don't care if I've got one hour
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: sleep that night. I am out the door by eight
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: eight thirty, Okay, I'm out. I'm walking, I'm getting a coffee,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I'm listening to the birds or listening to a podcast
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: or whatever, and I'm walking betweens. And that's when they're settling,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: like for their first nap. And if I need to sleep,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I'll sleep then at around midday or in the afternoon
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: or whatever, when the kids go down. I have tried
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: a few days at the start where I would think, oh, well,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I didn't get a good sleep. I'll feed and then
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I go back to sleep. But then I'd be in
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: a really bad mood and I feel like my day
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: has been wasted and I'd feel like, oh my god,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: all I've done is like I'm covered in milk and
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I'm in better. So I'm like, for me, if I
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: get out and walk every single day in the morning,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: no matter how shit my sleep was, it sets me
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: up to be in the best mood ever. So that
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: is kind of a routine. It's just a new, different routine,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: and that's going to keep evolving as we go. How
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: many weeks do they end up being born? At thirty
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: seven weeks they got to which is amazing. Now, someone
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: said tips on getting out with both of the twins
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: on your own? Do you know what? I thought that
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: it would be a lot harder than what it was.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: But what I did do was the first time that
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: I took the twins out. The first kind of three
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: times I think that I took the twins out for
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: a walk. It was with either my parents or with
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: my sister or with Tyrone. It was not alone. And
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I just got the hand or the hang of what
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: it would be like to exit the house just with
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: the twins. And then I thought, you know what, I'm
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: just gonna one day go out alone. This is like
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: ten that were ten days old, maybe less, maybe like
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: eight days old, and I just thought, I'm just going
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: to go around the block. I'll get a coffee and
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I go around the block. And then I did that,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: and I thought, no, go a little bit further, and
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: went further, further, further, further than before. You know, you're
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: going for like one hour walks with the men. It's
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: perfectly fine, but I think the longer you prolong leaving
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: the house with your baby, or if you have twins,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: with your twins, the more it's going to become this
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: insurmountable thing and you're going to like complicate it a
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: lot in your head, and then it's going to bring
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: on more anxiety. One of the best ways to kind
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: of nip that anxiety in the bud is to kind
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: of like act now, do it now. Even if you
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: just go downstairs, get outside with the pram, do a
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: little pirouette, and then come back inside, and you keep
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: extending it further and further, but you need to like
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: rip the band aid off and do it. Because I've
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: had actually, surprisingly a large amount of women message me
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: about like the anxiety for leaving the house with their
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: baby when they've just been born as a newborn. So
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: it's just like, you've just got to just do it
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: the first time. Who cares how far you go? But
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: it's like, it's actually not that bad. I was able
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: to do it. I'll go further and further next time.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: How does your man feel about being a new dad
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: and fatherhood? Really good? Like really good. And I'm seeing
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: how he evolves from week to week as a father,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: like obviously, and I'm sure he sees the same in me,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Like obviously, I don't see it in me because I'm
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: like living it. But you know, at the beginning, you're
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: looking at someone who's a novice, and you're looking at
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: someone who's like oh, and then you see them get
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: more and more comfortable, more and more in love with
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: the kids, more and more excited about being a dad
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: more like it's so beautiful to watch. I mean, obviously,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: if your partner's a fucking bud who doesn't want to
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: be a parent, that's a shame. But for those of
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: us that have a partner that wants to be a parent,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: that loves being a parent, it is a very beautiful
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: thing to watch that unfold in your partner, to watch
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: them fall in love with their kids and to be
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: excited about when they start being more alert and looking around.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: They're like, look, look they're looking around there this to
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: want to you know, Tara will be like, oh, go
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: go and you know, go and see your friends, go
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: and hang out, and then I'll go and then Tyrone
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: only contacts me to be like just an update. The
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: kids are amazing. They're doing like he's not on the block,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: being like, oh where's this and how do I do this?
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: And how like. So it's it's so nice and refreshing
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: to a have a partner that likes being a parent
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: and wants to be a parent and is switched on.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: But b so once wants to like help you out
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: as much as like wants you to still be you,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: wants you to still feel like yourself and have your time.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: And and I've like, when you see that in your partner,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: you become so much more attracted to them. I'm so
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: much more attracted. Like I was very attracted to him already,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I adore him, but I'm more in love with him
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: because it's a whole new side of him that I
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: see where he's just you know, taking on all these
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: responsibilities and doing it so well. So yeah, it's been
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: incredible to watch that in my partner someone said, I
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: want kids, but the thought of bringing them into the
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: current world feels cruel. The state of politics is horrific globally,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: the earth is burning, AI is and then little face melting.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Have you had any reservations like this, do you know
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: what I think? Like, yes, I've thought about it prior
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: to having kids. But at the same time, I think
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: the world has always, depending which country you live in,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: been a cruel place. There's always been really bad things
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: going on in this world and really good things going
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: on in this world. We're just very We're way more
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: exposed to it now and yes, there's AI and all
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: of that, but in the past there were other really
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: terrible things going on. I think that we just know.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: We've got so much more information about it now, and
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I feel that if in really dark times in the past,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: if everyone felt that way, then our population would have
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: died out. Maybe some people think that's a good thing.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I feel like there is enough
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: good in this world to bring good people into the world.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: That's how I see it, and I'm excited to raise
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you know, you know, self sufficient, intelligent hopefully. I mean,
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: if they want to be you know people that will
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: contribute to being like to like contribute for the good
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: in this world. So that's how I look at it,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: but I know a lot of people have anxiety around it.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I'd like to think that I'm not being cruel to
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: my children by having birth to them, but you know
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: that's it's to their own. If if you feel that way,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: then then don't don't bring kids into the world because
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: you also don't want to have kids and be like,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I've now done something cruel, like, don't tauch yourself. Don't
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: be a mata if you don't want to have kids.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And if you think having kids is going to you know,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: only benefit someone else and not you and your child,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: then absolutely you know it might not be for you.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: And that's perfectly fun. Okay. Someone said, did you always
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: dream of being a mom? Or that was not initially
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: in your plans? Do you know when I was a kid,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be a mom. I was like, I
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: want to be a mom. I once like split my
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: chin open and I had to go and get stitches,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: and they were like, what do you want to be
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: when you grow up? And I was like a mom
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: And I was like five years old. What the fuck?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: But yeah, then I had a lot of moments in
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: my life where I seriously considered not having children, and
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: more so not like I'm not gonna have children, but
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: more so if it's not on the cards for me,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: if it doesn't happen, I genuinely believe that I would
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: have a very satisfied, fulfilled life, and even to this day,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: even after having kids, because like, do you know what
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: pisses me off? I'll tell you what pisss me off.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: When people say, oh, you know, you only know true
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: fulfillment when you've had children, or like that's when you
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: are fulfilled and you have your purpose. That's a slap
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: in the face for people that don't have kids, because
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: while I'll be dead honest, it's been one of the
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: most incredible, if not the most incredible thing I've ever experienced,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: for me personally, it does not take away from the
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: fact that I already had my purpose. I already had
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: a very fulfilled life, and I know that even if
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the children, I still would have had
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: a very fulfilled life. So I think it's very unfair
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: to people that don't have kids by choice or don't
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: have kids because they can't to say that the only
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: way you're going to feel fulfilled is through having children.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: That's a lie. That's bullshit, because my sense of personal
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: fulfillment has always been there, and now I've got a
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: layer of this like family fulfillment, which is unbelievable and
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: it's beautiful. But I don't I'm not standing here saying, oh,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: my life had no meaning up until now. That's bullshit.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: My life had a lot of meaning prior to having kids,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: and now it still continues to have meaning. Okay, so
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: that was just a rant on the side, but I
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: just felt that I had to say that. But yeah,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: so I went through paid like stages in my life
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: where I didn't think i'd want kids. I one thing
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: that I didn't think i'd enjoyed the newborn stage. I
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: thought I want kids, but I want older kids because
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I look at my family. We're a big family. I
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: just love it. I would like that to continue, but
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna like the newborn stage. I'm not gonna like.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I'm loving the newborn stage. They are so adorable. I
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: just wanted to like, I just want to like, but
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: their fingers and anyway, that cute aggression, which is a thing,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: and apparently it's more common in women to have cute
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: aggression than in men. But anyway, just a few more
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: because I'm aware of how long this episode is going.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: What else do we have? How are you feeling as
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: a new mom? Are you trusting your intuition? Yes, so
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I'm really trusting my intuition. And I'm surprised at how
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: you just learn. I'm surprised at how you just kind
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: of like, I'm qualified, and you take these humans home
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: and then you just kind of learn as you go.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I used to think that newborns were the most fragile
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: thing ever. I never wanted to hold anyone else's newborn.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: And now I'm like, it's just it's it's it comes naturally,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: and it's I don't know, I just I feel like
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: you just learn as you go, and you pick things
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: up way faster than you realize post childbirth. How much
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: were people actually checking in on you versus oh my god,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: how's the baby? Do you know what? Everyone checked in
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: on me? Every single person checked in on me. I'm
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: talking all my family, my Tyrone's family, all my friends,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: listeners of the podcast. It's been so amazing. So and
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: I know that's not the case for everyone. So I
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: really want to like really bring that point home that
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I've been like quite fortunate to have that experience, because
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: I know that so many people feel like they're pushed
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: to the wayside and it's not okay. And if you're
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: someone that knows someone who's who's just had a baby,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: check in on them. It makes them feel so good.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: It makes them also supported. It's amazing, you know, Like
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: when my parents come to come to help, they're like,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: go and sleep. Have an app with where you know,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: go and sleep, and it's you know, it's amazing. What else, Oh,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: someone said for others yet to be mothers, did you
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: plan twins? As in like, did you do IVF wanting
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: twins or was it natural? So this was naturally conceived,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I know. So when people say did you plan twins
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: with IVF, what they're saying is like, did you do
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: a double embryo transfer? So I know that in Australia
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: it's less and less and less common to have it
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: for clinics to do a double embryo transfer, just because
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: it's higher risk. The pregnancy is higher risk and if
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: you're trying to fall pregnant, they obviously want as low
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: risk as possible. I don't know if it is still possible.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I know overseas they do it all the time. I'm
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: sure there are clinics in Australia that do do it,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: but it's kind of not done as much now, if
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: at all. I don't know. I don't know the starts
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: on that, but no, this was natural. And also when
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: you when you do a planned quote unquote planned where
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: you're like hoping twins with the double embryo transfer, that's
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: for non identical twins because it's two eggs to embryos,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: so that's fraternal twins, whereas mine was they're identical and
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: it's one egg that's split and no one knows what
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: causes it. It's kind of just like a spontaneous event.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: So that was not planned. Yeah, so guys, I just
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: feel like I'll be answering more questions along the way.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: But I just wanted to do a little I'm back
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: bonjour episode. It is really nice to be podcasting again.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: A lot of like, there are episodes that are going
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: to come after this episode that I've pre recorded, but
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I wanted to sit down record the first episode see
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: how it feels it feels great to be recording again,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: and onwards and upwards. There there's so many things in
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the pipeline for the podcast. I also really have received
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: a lot of questions around am I going to do
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: more parenting style things for the podcast? And I'm just
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: going to be absolutely transparent with where my head is at.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Even if I change my mind, I don't care, because
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: you guys are the real MVP, so whatever. But the
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: way I feel about it is, I don't want to
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: change my podcast. My podcast is what it is, and
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: it's the topics that I talk about. I don't want
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: to turn this into a parenting podcast. Having said that,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I have had a lot of people really interested in
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: my take on, you know, studies around this and neuroe
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: and like the developmental stages of babies and this and
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: how I'm going to do it and what my take would
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: be and all of these things. And I'm really interested
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: to talk about that too. So one thing that I
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: might consider is doing maybe a mini series separate to
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: do your fucking mind, maybe like a series or a
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: season of a separate podcast. So I'm genuinely considering doing that.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: So if you guys think that would be something of interest,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: let me know, DM me you know, and we can
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: maybe like build on that on the side. So that way,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I'm catering to my audience that our parents or are
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: interested in parenting and do want to hear my perspective
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: on it and the neuroscience behind it because I love
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: to like break down studies around parenting and different styles
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: and all of that. But that way, I'm not jacking
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: my podcast. And for those of you that are not
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: interested in like parenting or anything, I would hate to
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: drive away my audience that has been here from the
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: beginning and make it too parenting, if that makes sense.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: So that's where my head's at. Guys, love you so much,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: so good to be back podcasting. Thank you for coming
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: on the journey with me, and yeah more to come.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: As always, remember, becind to yourself, becind to your brain.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: from yourself. Dunker