Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do Narcissists KICK You Out
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about why do narcissists, some
- 0:06narcissists kick you out. Why do they get just get rid of
- 0:09you? Sometimes it would not.
- 0:11If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:13I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
- 0:16the Narcissist Code. Welcome back for Yeah, I told
- 0:37you I'd be jamming behind the scenes when the theme music is
- 0:40playing. Feel like a hero about the drop
- 0:43it up. Feel like I'm about to do my
- 0:44hero landing. Like like Deadpool, the
- 0:46narcissistic Deadpool. Let's get it.
- 0:51What's going on, y'all? Welcome to another episode of
- 0:53The Narcissistic Code. I'm Lee Hammock, your favorite
- 0:56diagnosed narcissist. Yeah, today y'all we talk about
- 0:59why narcissists kick you out. Why do they give you the boot
- 1:01sometimes? Why do they give you the
- 1:03proverbial the Butte, the the boot?
- 1:06Before we hop into today's episode, y'all if you wanted to
- 1:08know, I do do coaching. I have courses and things like
- 1:11that. I also have a support group I
- 1:12run called the mental healers. You can find all my information
- 1:15right here at mentalillness.net. Check it out Coaching courses.
- 1:19Make sure you subscribe to the channel as well, y'all, because
- 1:21they said TikTok po be going bye bye.
- 1:22So if you only follow him on TikTok and you hear you listen
- 1:25here once in a while hit go follow me on YouTube, Facebook,
- 1:28whatever. Thanks.
- 1:30But yes, y'all. Why do narcissists just decide
- 1:32to kick your ass? Why they try to get rid of you
- 1:34like why is that? Why do they just decide out of
- 1:36no word, seemingly out of no word to kick you out?
- 1:39So, yeah, the first thing that, yeah, could could they
- 1:41absolutely be done with you? Could they just be tired of, of
- 1:44you and over you and they just want, you know, they just want
- 1:46to start a new chapter like a normal human being.
- 1:48Yeah, sometimes they can do that, right?
- 1:50Maybe you, maybe they, you haven't paid rent or whatever,
- 1:53right? Maybe you haven't contributed
- 1:56around the house, whatever the case may be.
- 1:57Maybe they just like, you know, they're just tired of you.
- 1:59Sometimes they do get bored and it's just like, OK, this isn't
- 2:03serving me. I got to get rid of this person.
- 2:05This is, you know, y'all both, even though both y'all names
- 2:08might be on the mortgage or the lease or whatever the case may
- 2:10be, they've somehow found a way to convince you to be the one to
- 2:14leave. You know, they kick you out,
- 2:16they're done with you. You know, could you have cheated
- 2:20or something like that? Yeah, you could absolutely have
- 2:22made to be done with you in that space right there.
- 2:23It isn't always have to be the narcissist cheating.
- 2:26I've I've got the plenty of people who be cheating on the on
- 2:28somebody else. What they it's it'd be kind of
- 2:31crazy now, but or maybe have a narcissistic partner and then
- 2:34they'll go out and cheat and then they'll confess and then
- 2:36the narcissist treats them horribly and they'll be like,
- 2:37well, what happened? You know, it's it's wild, y'all,
- 2:40It really is. But sometimes they really are
- 2:42just done with you and want to be done be want this to be over
- 2:45and done with it and whatnot. I know y'all see me holding my
- 2:48mic. Yeah, I'm, I'm trying something.
- 2:49I'm holding the mic now because my arm is like when I'm filming
- 2:53in this location. This is my house, right?
- 2:55And this is I'm sitting at my wife's desk and put my arm right
- 2:57here. She's like babe, the arm or
- 2:59something like that. So I can't move.
- 3:00So I got to hold the mic. Yeah, so it'll make it easier.
- 3:03But yes, sometimes they're just done with you, right.
- 3:06If I know what everybody else is going to say, I know.
- 3:08Let me see if I can read your mind.
- 3:10What's the next reason? I'm going to say to the
- 3:11narcissist kick you out. What's the next reason?
- 3:13Right. You got it.
- 3:16Am I in your mind right now? Do you feel Lee Hammock?
- 3:18Do you feel my little the pitter patter like I like, like Santa
- 3:21Claus on your on your roof? Do you hear Lee Hammock's feet
- 3:23on top of your head right now? Like is that Santa or that's Lee
- 3:27Hammock? He just reading my mind.
- 3:31New supply. Yeah, new supply some
- 3:35narcissists will kick give you the boot because they have a new
- 3:39supply. That's good and I don't know
- 3:42everybody gonna say well Lee, that's obvious.
- 3:44Most times they had do all every single time they have a new
- 3:46supply. Not all the time y'all.
- 3:47Sometimes they don't have a new supply and they feel like you
- 3:49forced their hand. Like I said, I have heard
- 3:52stories of people cheating on their narcissistic partner and a
- 3:55narcissist does kick them out. You see what I'm saying?
- 3:57But I just like the lady they would treat, they would, they
- 4:00would cheat on me. They, they didn't, they did
- 4:01something horrible to me. I just, you know, I was a moment
- 4:04of vulnerability. I got them back.
- 4:06I, I'm going to get, I get my got my lick back.
- 4:08And they didn't like it. So they kicked me out.
- 4:10But yeah, sometimes they do have a new supplier.
- 4:13Sometimes they do have a new supplier, you know, so this
- 4:16could be a combination of the first thing I said.
- 4:17But like, they, they are tired of you.
- 4:19They might get bored of you. Not, not I'm not saying that
- 4:21you're a boring person narcissist, just a life like a
- 4:24lot of narcissist just suffer from chronic boredom and because
- 4:27they're bored, because they're over it, they tend to try to get
- 4:29rid of you, right? They get so they get rid of you
- 4:32for somebody else. They the, the grass is, you
- 4:34know, the, the grass is not the grass.
- 4:36They feel like the grass is greener on the other side of the
- 4:38fence, but only because they spray green paint on the grass
- 4:41like it's going to be green. If you spray green paint on the
- 4:44grass, if you just if you sawed it with extra green seeds or
- 4:47whatever the case may be like it's painted, It's not real
- 4:50green. It's it's painted green.
- 4:51It's like that, you know, You know, No, the grass this color,
- 4:56y'all, no grass that should be no, no grass should be this
- 4:58color right here. You know what I mean?
- 5:01This color, the grass is. But that's the mindset of, yeah,
- 5:05that's the mentality that goes into it right there, right?
- 5:08This is what people are thinking about.
- 5:09This is what the, you know, this is what they're processing.
- 5:11This is what they're doing. This is what they're trying to
- 5:13accomplish. Like they're tired of you,
- 5:15they're over you. They want a new supply and they
- 5:18want to start fresh from scratch.
- 5:19And the best way to do what I do that is to discard you, to kick
- 5:22you out of your your marital home or the places you're
- 5:25renting or whatever next case may be.
- 5:27Yeah. Or, or you moved into their
- 5:28apartment, you moved into their house.
- 5:30So they feel like they have free reign to kick you out when they
- 5:32want to. So they give you the boot with
- 5:34kids, without kids, whatever case may be.
- 5:35I hear people get kicked out with 2345 kids.
- 5:38You know, they keep me out for the new supply.
- 5:39And I had to move on. I had to move out really
- 5:41quickly. I didn't have anywhere to go.
- 5:42Had to move in with my mom or a woman shelter or shelter just in
- 5:46general had nowhere to go and they just kicked me out And they
- 5:49moved the new supply in the next day or the next week or whatever
- 5:51the case may be. Sometimes they will absolutely
- 5:53kick you out to make room for the new supply, to make room for
- 5:58their new partner to make room for this next chapter in their
- 6:01life or whatever the case may be.
- 6:03So they do do this type of stuff.
- 6:04They will absolutely give you the boot for a new person, for a
- 6:07new supply, for a fresh start. But the next time I'm gonna go
- 6:11over y'all, it's they're kicking you out, right, But it kind of
- 6:16goes into the next two the the previous two reasons as well.
- 6:19They might kick you out, but it doesn't mean that they're done
- 6:21with you. Even though they kick you off of
- 6:23the new supply, it doesn't mean that they're done with you like
- 6:25recycled supplies a thing. Yeah, I'll talk about this in my
- 6:28course. It's called an understanding the
- 6:31seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
- 6:33Courses that mental health is that net.
- 6:35I talk about recycle the recycle stage of an abusive relationship
- 6:38where they where they will recycle you and pull you back,
- 6:41try to pull you back in. So sometimes they will kick you
- 6:43out only to try to pull you back in, right?
- 6:47They'll kick you out to keep they kick you out so they can
- 6:50cheat, do whatever they want to have that free time, do whatever
- 6:52they want to, and then I'll pull you back in.
- 6:54You know, sometimes they will kick you out just to test you.
- 6:57Y'all Imagine you're kicked out because you're abusive,
- 7:00narcissistic partner wants to test how much you care for them.
- 7:05Imagine that happens right there.
- 7:06Imagine you're abusive, narcissistic, manipulative,
- 7:09cheating, lying bastard of a partner kicked you out to test
- 7:13your love for them. They're just frustrated like
- 7:15they don't feel like you love them anymore.
- 7:16So they they they create, they create an argument out of
- 7:19nowhere, right? Just a random ass argument out.
- 7:21Are you like what the hell? And you like, what the hell are
- 7:23we talking about? Why we arguing about this?
- 7:24This is stupid, right? He's just confused as you want
- 7:28to be. You like, what the hell is going
- 7:29on here? Like, why the hell are we
- 7:30arguing about this? And you get the conclusion like
- 7:33they're testing your loyalty. They're testing your love.
- 7:35They want to test to see if your fight to come back, to see how
- 7:39they want you to blow up their phone.
- 7:41They want you to stalk them. They want you to lose your mind.
- 7:43They want you. They want you to have a reactive
- 7:45abuse episode. They want this stuff from you
- 7:48because in their minds that means that you care.
- 7:52In their minds, that means that you were going to like you
- 7:54always be here. It's a damn game sometimes,
- 7:57y'all? They'll kick you out for a new
- 7:59supply, rub the new supply in your face and just accuse you of
- 8:03being a bad person, accuse you of not being enough, convince
- 8:06you that you can do. You should be doing more for
- 8:08them to manipulate you. You know what I mean?
- 8:11And then they'll just get they'll get over on you.
- 8:13This is the mentality. This is the mindset that goes
- 8:15into it. So you have to be careful in
- 8:18these spaces right here in these situations, right?
- 8:20You absolutely have to, because if you don't, they're just going
- 8:22to run, right? Yeah, They're just going to run
- 8:24rampant. They're going to run over top of
- 8:25you. They're going to manipulate you.
- 8:26They're just going to treat you horribly.
- 8:27You know, they kick you in, They kick out, kick in, you know,
- 8:30kick out, kick, kick in. What am I talking about?
- 8:33They'll kick you out and they'll let you back in repeatedly.
- 8:37Yeah. This cycle, This cycle can go on
- 8:39for a very, very long time, which is why I try to tell
- 8:42people you have to be the one to stop it.
- 8:44So not if they if they, if you see them kicking you out, if
- 8:47they kick you out, but then they text you the same night.
- 8:49Just want to make sure you're safe.
- 8:51Just wanted to check in on you. I wonder where you went.
- 8:53You got my kids. I want to make sure they Blick,
- 8:55Blick, Blick, Blick, Blick, Blick, Blick, whatever you're
- 8:58saying, y'all. They'll text you the same night.
- 9:00They'll stay in contact with you the same night.
- 9:01They'll tell you that they love you the same night that they
- 9:03viciously or violently kick you out right.
- 9:07They might call the police on you, they'll might bail you out.
- 9:09They'll do a lot of different things.
- 9:11Y'all to play this kind of crazy ass game.
- 9:15They just will. They want to play this crazy ass
- 9:17game where they keep doing this stuff over and over and over and
- 9:22over again and like if for you on your side of things, it can
- 9:25get it, it can get extremely exhausted.
- 9:27You like I'm just tired of kicking like I got to go back.
- 9:29I I don't get kicked out so many times when I come back, I don't
- 9:32unpack. I don't unpack my stuff.
- 9:34I have AI, have my stuff is packed up because I know what's
- 9:37going to happen. Like you have to be the one that
- 9:39end it or that's what happens. They kick you out permanently
- 9:42and they've moved somebody else in and they move on and the
- 9:45cycle ends because they ended it.
- 9:48Yeah, it hurts. No, I can speak from experience.
- 9:50It hurts so much when they are the ones that end it.
- 9:53Yeah, it's going to hurt regardless, but they can hurt
- 9:56more when they are the ones that end it because it leaves you
- 9:58like you. I knew I should have ended it
- 10:00with them. Damn.
- 10:02Now I'm heartbroken. Now I'm hurting, now I'm sad as
- 10:05hell. Like they convince you of all
- 10:07this stuff that you've done wrong and try to manipulate you
- 10:10and do this stuff with the stuff, y'all.
- 10:11It's just going to keep doing this type of stuff.
- 10:13And then then one of those like you get so used to getting
- 10:15kicked in, like kicked out. You get so used to getting
- 10:17kicked out and then letting you back in or calling you or
- 10:20texting you or whatever the case may be.
- 10:21You get so accustomed to that. Like you don't take it seriously
- 10:24anymore when they kick you out. So you still might leave, but
- 10:26you just leave temporarily. And then one time they kick you
- 10:30out and it changes. They change the dock, they
- 10:32change the locks. They do this, they do that.
- 10:34And they just don't let you back into their life.
- 10:36And they make, they can make you you, you, you sick.
- 10:40They can get into your damn head.
- 10:41They can mess with your mind. You like, damn, I keep forgiving
- 10:44him. I kept coming back even though
- 10:46they kicked out. We've been on and off 30 times.
- 10:48I can't believe this. They finally ended it.
- 10:50And that can leave. Yeah, that can make healing so
- 10:53much harder. It really, really can in these
- 10:55situations. So it's like they keep
- 10:57constantly kicking you out and wanting you back.
- 10:59They push, pull, push, pull, push, pull up down high, low
- 11:03that can establish a trauma bond even deeper within yourself and
- 11:06they make it very hard to break. So if they're the ones that
- 11:08break up with you, I know sometimes there's some people
- 11:11actually request that they were like Lee, how do I get them to
- 11:13break up with me so they can I can I can be ended for good.
- 11:16Just like sometimes you have to be the one to do it.
- 11:18You have to have that strength. You have to cross that threshold
- 11:22within yourself to be able to set yourself free.
- 11:24Sometimes y'all, you know, freedom ain't where my throat
- 11:27go. Freedom ain't free, you know.
- 11:29I mean, I was going to tell you like freedom is not free.
- 11:32Might it might sound free. It might, it might, it might
- 11:34have, it might mimic being free, but freedom is not free.
- 11:37Somebody, somebody, I saw somebody say it's freedom.
- 11:40If you think you get something for free, you must be dumb.
- 11:42Freedom, it's free. Dumbness is free anyway, y'all
- 11:46hope there hope this video butchers some clarity.
- 11:48Hope it butchers some peace again y'all.
- 11:49You can find everything about me at mentalillness.net.
- 11:51Hit that subscribe button if you haven't on on YouTube or
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- 12:03know, maintain our community and whatnot, help other people and
- 12:06it's always y'all mental illness is out.
- 12:08Peace. Thank you so much for making it
- 12:10to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
- 12:12have no idea. If you haven't already, make
- 12:14sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps reach more
- 12:16people and click on the screen to watch another video or to
- 12:19browse to another playlist. There's also a link on the
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- 12:24you heal and understand what you've been through.
- 12:26Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
- 12:28video.