Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Spilling the Fertili-Tea with Whitney Bischoff

Transcript

Spilling the Fertili-Tea with Whitney Bischoff · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome to the Almost Famous podcast. It is
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Ashley and today Ben isn't here for this episode because
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: we're gonna have a very women forward episode because Whitney
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Bischoff is here, who was on my season, the quote
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: winner of my season, and I haven't seen her for years,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: but I'm so glad to see your face.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Hello, Whitney, how are you doing it?
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Oh good? It's like girl chats, all like bringing me
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: back to the mansion when it's like we're having these
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: girl chats.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Love it, love girl chats. You had a lot of
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: girl chats about fertility in the in the house, because
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: that is what you're an expert at, your fertility nurse. Yes,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: and then lo and behold, you had to go through
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: quite a fertility journey of your own. Yes, so you
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: and so we're just gonna like jump into the yeah,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: because you're here because you were pregnant, but you never
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: posted about it on social media and all of a sudden,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: you're like surprise months later. But it was something to
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: get her into this world. Yes, so it is you
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: and your husband Ricky. You got married, Like what five
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: years ago, past, six years ago.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: Almost going on six. Yeah, it'll be six this year.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: I cannot believe it. I mean, it's been almost a
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: decade since we were on the show. I meed at least.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know you've made appearance, well sure, but
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: nine years from that original show, which I hold so
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: much nostalgia for.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I can't believe it's been nine years.
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: I can't either. Where's the time gone?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It's so scary. And you know, when
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: you have kids it goes even faster. So like, yeah,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: you had your your son, You had your son Hayes, Yes,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: soon after getting married, right, yeah, so he's four years Okay,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: so we were married about a year exactly when he
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: joined us, and he is just such a peach.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: I just taste the best. I mean, little boys are
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: the best, right.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: They are quite something. And I know I have talked
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: about how I had quote gender disappointment. It made some
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: headlines a few weeks ago, which was the most dramatic
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: thing ever. I'm like, you, guys, let's be clear here. Yeah,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: when we go when we tell people we're pregnant and
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: we don't know what the gender is or sex is yet,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: people say, what do you want.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you usually have an opinion, right, well, absolutely.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: And you've got a sister if that same with me,
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: like exactly sister and I that's all we know. So
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: I get that.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I know, yes, I wanted to have you know, and
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: my initial thought was that I wanted to have sisters,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: the exact same thing that I grew up with, because
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I'm so so close to her.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: But then you know, you find out it's a boy,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: and yes, maybe you're like, oh man, I don't I
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: don't know how to deal with boys, and like, it's
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: a boy, gonna want to go to boy band concerts
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: and like play with American girl dolls.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe, but I totally get that when
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: you said that, I related. It doesn't mean that you
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: are not happy with your son or anything like that.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, oh my gosh, I love being a boy mom.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: It's so much fun. It's just not knowing what to expect. Yes,
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: and you've grown up.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: With all girls. Yeah, and I didn't even know like
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I had. Now I can't even picture having a girl,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: which is weird. Like, yes, i'd like a girl, but
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: I also would be totally happy with a boy it's
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: it's so wild how much it does not matter when
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: the kid is here.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: The love between a mom and a son too is
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: just there's nothing compares to it. It's really nicesome.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so so nice.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: All right. So let's so you with your son, conceiving
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: with your son, let's get into the nit.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: So let's get into it. So when you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Conceive with your son, did it how long did it
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: take to conceive? If you don't mind me asking, it
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: took us seven months? It took us seven months.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I think it took about six months
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: somewhere around there. But as a fertility nurse and just
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: as being with me, I am such a planner, so
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: type a like, you know, I had my whole you know,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: future written out for me in terms of I'm going
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: to get pregnant at this age and then I'm going
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: to get pregnant again at this age, and this is
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: the way it's all going to go. And that's a
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: joke because you can't plan anything. So after a couple
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: months when it didn't work, even knowing that that's very
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: normal that it can take a little bit of time.
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: Being a fertility nurse and kind of specializing in this field.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: I was, you know, beside myself, like why hasn't worked?
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: What's going on? I'm doing all of this testing on
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: myself to like check my fertility and talking with you know,
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: the experts that I work with, and you know, I
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: actually did sit down with the physician, doctor Camplin, that
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: I work with, and just said, hey, should I tap
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: into my previously frozen eggs because, as everyone knows, I
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: froze my eggs. Gosh, I don't even know like thirteen
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: fourteen years ago. So the question that he posed to me,
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: which I thought was really smart, was well, how many
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: children do you want to have? Do you want to
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: have more than one? I was like absolutely. He's like, well,
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: you're going to just continue to get older. Those eggs
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: are going to stay on ice, you know, at the
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: same quality that they were when they were frozen, which
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: I was young. I was twenty seven when I did it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: So he's like, just be patient. So I had to
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: take my you know, own advice that I give to patients,
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: like it takes some time, you know, takes sometimes some persistence.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that anything's kind of going on. You know,
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: if you're less than thirty five. It can sometimes take
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: up to a year, so we just kind of stuck
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: with it and finally conceived. I think it was about
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: six months, so somewhere around you know, like with you,
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: it took so it took some.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Time to me. Yeah, I think this is important to
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: talk about because I because I've been open about it
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: taking seven months.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Lots of girls get into my DMS and they're like, hey,
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: it's been three or four months. I'm starting to freak out.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: How do you stay calm? And I'm like, okay, Well
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: for me, yes, when we got to the five month mark,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I was like me, my body because I always thought
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: like everybody was like, oh, this is so stupid. It's
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: honestly stupid. But I'm going to say what people would
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: tell me. I'd be like, your body shape is like
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: you're like such, you're so at all?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Well you can just yeah, like you really have birthing hips,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: like you just look like, yeah, isn't that funny?
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: That's bizarre?
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Is okay?
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: So I always like grew up just being like oh
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: about regular periods and birthinghips. I should be totally fure
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: five months that's not like whatever. So then at six
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: months I hadn't had like an annual guy no appointment
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: in like two or three years. So I was just like,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I'll go to the guy. Know, see what she says
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: about this. And she was like, at I was thirty
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: two when we conceive, and she was like wait. I
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: was like, no, wait, hold on, yes, it was thirty two. Wait,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: hold on, how old are I now? I was thirty three?
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Holy shit? Okay, So she was like, you're fine.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't think, for like looking at like all your
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: info here, that we would need to worry at all
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: or like think about taking other steps until we're a
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: full year of trying. Do you do you agree full
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: year of trying at thirty three?
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: At thirty three, yeah, I would say, if you're older
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: than thirty five six.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Months, okay, all right? And that is because because.
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: Your fertility is declining, so and you know, at thirty
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: five we see a higher jump in decline. So it's
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's always declining from the moment we're born,
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: fertilities declining, but you know, at thirty five we see
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: more of a steeper decline. So that's why people say,
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: don't wait after you know, a full year after thirty five?
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Kind of jump on it around that six month mark.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, cool, So then you can see at six months
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: you're all you're like happy, and then I'm happy.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: You know, we have you know, I had a really
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: easy pregnancy, easy birth. It was just amazing, and we
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: were ready again to try for baby number two. But
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: something I actually haven't talked about at all, so you're
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: hearing it here first is I got really sick after
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: Hayes was born. I started having some really weird chest
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: pain and was going to the doctor about it, and
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I was just kind of shelved. You know, I was
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: a young woman complaining of chest pain. So what's the
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: first thing? They told me? It's anxiety, it's stress, and
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I am a high strung, anxious person, so I believed it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: But it continued. This chest pain continued to occur for
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: about a year and it was getting progressively worse, and
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: we were vacationing in Cape cod and I ended up
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: in the ICU having to have emergency heart surgery because
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: I had gone into cardiac tampin on because I had
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: three and a half cups of fluid around my heart.
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: So that postponed our trying to get pregnant, so that
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: then was a long healing process. I was seen at Mayo.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: It was such a mess. So here for like be
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: an advocate for yourself, especially as a woman, because I
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: knew something was wrong, and I just kept being shelved,
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: you know, like it's you're fine, you know, you're fine,
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: until it almost cost me my life. I mean so
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: because of that, and because I obviously, you know, needed
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: to get that under control, and I was put on
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: tons of medication that were not conducive with pregnancy. I
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: was not able to attempt to get pregnant. I was told,
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: you can't, We've got to get this under control. Your
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: heart's under way too much stress and being pregnant. I mean,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: your your heart is pumping for two write your blood
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: volume increases. So they were saying, you know, we don't
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: even know if you'll ever be able to have another baby.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that crushing.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: Oh you cannot even imagine. It was such a grieving process,
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: and then thinking maybe we're going to have to go
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: to the surrogate route. So I was not even sure
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: that another child was in the future for us. But I,
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: by the grace of God and the physicians that I
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: worked with and the experts and cardiologists got this. So
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: it ended up being viral pairis which was attacking my heart.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: So once that finally got under control, it took about
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: another year. I got the go ahead to attempt only.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: So is this like a two year process on all?
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: Yes, So at this point, I'm, you know, considered geriatric
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: for pregnancy, and I know too the entire time the
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: stress that I was under just dealing with the heart
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: stuff and to scare with that. But then knowing I'm
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: getting older, my clock is ticking, and I did have
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: those eggs, which was I was so thankful for because
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: when you freeze your eggs, I feel like you think
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: it's a backup plan. I'm hopefully never I'm never gonna
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: need those, you know, but I did, so we ended
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: up tapping into those eggs.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: You Okay, let's talk about egg freezing for a second.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: A lot of people think that it's like a guarantee,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: But isn't it less likely that, like the eggs are
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: going to unfreeze.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Defrost and you'll lose a good amount.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: But it's it's actually more get not guaranteed, but closer
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: to it. If they're embryos defrosting, embryos is more successful
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: often than defrosting eggs.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think this is really interesting because yes,
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: I mean, embryos are always going to be more stable
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: than eggs because it's all of the chromosomes that you
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: need to make a baby, whereas an egg's only half
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: of the equation. So I always say, like, if you're
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: an embryo, you're walking steadily on two feet, whereas if
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: you're an egg, you're kind of limping on one. So
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: it's you're more easily damaged, easily messed with. But depending
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: on the laboratory and the experts that you are going to,
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: you know, in terms of their experience with that freezing,
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: some of those rates can be essentially you know, the same.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: So in some places, like you know, at Ova, our
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: success rates are about i would say, probably five to
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: ten percent different. So for some women, you know, to me,
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: if you're a single woman, that's not that big of
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: a difference to then decide to get a sperm donor
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: and freeze an embryo versus freezing an egg. But yes,
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: they were always be a little bit more successful with
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: embryos versus eggs. But now with the increase in technology
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: and experience that a lot of people have. It It's
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: not as large as it once was.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: So you tap into your eggs for this is Did
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: you try it all to do it naturally for six months?
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no no. At that point I was like
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: we are ready to and not kind of knowing what
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: was going to be going on with my health. We
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: started with the thiwing when I was going through the
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: treatment process for lazing the eggs for my heart. So
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: we went through that whole process, we got our embryos,
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: and then when I got the clear to move forward,
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: we started prepping to transfer the embryos. And that was
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: the start of a very long journey. So yeah, so
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: I went through an embryo. Well, I started to prep
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: for a couple embryo transfers that were canceled. So it's
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: you know, I was taking these medications and going in,
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: you know, to prep for this transfer, but I my
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: lining was not thickening appropriately, so you know, you want
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: the atmosphere of the uterus to be completely perfect to
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: transfer this embryo. So if it's not, there is always
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: that chance that the cycle could be canceled. And so
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: that happened to me twice before I ever made it
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: to a transfer. We did finally make it to transfer,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: and it unfortunately was not successful. And then in the
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: between kind of months, a couple of times I was
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: we were trying naturally, and I kept getting pregnant naturally
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: and having very early miscarriages. So it was just one
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: thing after another. And then about a year ago I
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: had an ectopic pregnancy, So that was scary too.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: So for those who don't know an next topic, pregnancy
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: means that the egg implanted into her phallopian tube.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: My filipine tube. Yeah, and so we caught.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: It extremely painful.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so we caught it early, which was good. But
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: I think also about that too, I just knew to
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: ask the right questions because I'm in the field. I
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: think about so many women that may not have known
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: to ask the questions again to advocate for themselves, that
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: it could have been much different. So yeah, so that
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: was a long journey too, because then you have to
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: postpone again for three months because I got a medication
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: that takes care of the pregnancy that's in your too,
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: because obviously it's life threatening to the mother to continue
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: to let it grow and the pregnancy is not going
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: to be viable, but with that medication, and that was
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: the decision that we chose for the route we chose
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: to go because I didn't want to risk losing my
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: fallopian tube and a surgery.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say, how do they even save
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: a Philippian tube if there's been an implanted embryo.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: So sometimes they can go in and just remove what's
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: inside of the tube and they could spare the tube,
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: but there's always risk to scar tissue in the tube
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: and that the tube is no longer going to work,
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: and that to me was you know, I didn't want
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: to take that risk, so I did go to medication route.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: But then that meant again we had to postpone trying
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: for three months, so all in all it was I
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: think a full year, and we were prepping again. I
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: was planning to go in to prep for another transfer
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: and I got a positive pregnancy test. So that's really
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: naturally ah, yes, yes, so we didn't end up using
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: I mean the Brady my daughter is not from my egg,
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: but we have you know, beautiful eggs. Yeah, sorry sorry, Yes,
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: she was a natural conception versus everything we went through
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: and then it was a natural conception.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which I feel like happens a lot. Do you
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: think it's because like moms kind of relax at a
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: certain point if the IVF process is like kind of
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: coming along, and then they're like, yeah, we all have
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: that plan, and then I have this plan which is natural,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: and they say it's probably not going to happen. And
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: then when you start to be like, Okay, it's probably
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: not going to happen naturally, that like you just kind
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: of like I think.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: Hill, you know, it's hard to quantify how stressed, of course,
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: but I do think it plays a role because you
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: do hear of that where people go through years and
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: years of treatment and then all of a sudden, oops,
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: they become pregnant. I don't want anyone listening to this
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: to think that that's the norm, but you do hear
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: of that. So I do think that, you know, stress
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: could play a role. I mean, who knows. In my case,
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: but oh gosh, it was such a welcome surprise. But
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: then for the next nine months or you know, especially
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: early on, I was so worried about another loss because
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: we had gone through it so much. I felt like
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: I just every time I went to the bathroom, I
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: was like, is there going to be blood, you know,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: is there? You know, it just was day after day,
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: just the anxiety. I was just riddled with anxiety.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Do you have any tips for girls out there who well,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: do you need tips of just like conceiving in general,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: because you know, people are like, oh, certain lubes, like
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: certain times of day, like everybody seems to like have
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: an idea for.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: An idea or theory. I mean, obviously, you have to
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: be ovulating to get pregnant. I know that that sounds obvious,
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: but that would be you know, my first suggestion if
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: you've been trying to get pregnant and you're not successful,
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: is to ensure that you are ovulating. You can do
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: that with your doctor. You can get some ovulation predictor
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: kids from like the drug store. But the best way
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: to get pregnant would be to have sperm waiting for
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: the egg once you ovulate. So I think a lot
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: of people think, oh, okay, I'll ovulate and then I'll
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: have sex or you know, but really you should be
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: doing it leading up to that so that when the
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: egg is released, there's sperm waiting in the tube, and
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: the sperm can live in the tube for like three
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: to five days.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: Now, whereas the egg is only going to live for
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: about twenty four hours. So that's why it's nice to
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: have that sperm waiting for the egg.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: From the time that the egg is released from the
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: ovary to it like go passing through the Filippian tube completely,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: that's twenty four hours.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: No, it survives for twenty four hours, so you know,
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: it's it takes longer for it to go all the
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: way down the tube and into the uterus, but it's
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: only going to be viable for about twenty four hours,
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: whereas the sperm can be viable for three to five
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: days just hanging out in the tube.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: So it's journey through the tube is longer than twenty
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: four hours.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, before it makes its way all the way down
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: and then into the uterus and implant.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, gotcha. Okay, so the sperm's meeting it very close
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: to the overy release, gotcha.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Well see you I'm still learning because I thought like
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: it was like kind of viable like within the two process,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: but that's stupid. Wow. I probably knew this a couple
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: of years ago and I was deep in my reading,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: but now I'm.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Like, I mean, what's going on with you?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Are you going to plan for That's that's why I
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: asked these questions too, And I really wanted to have
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: you on because we're starting to quote try.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: In two weeks.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Two weeks, yeah, two weeks, which is like hilarious, Hi audience,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Like you know so much about me in my cycle?
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: So awkward.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so there's that, and then me being thirty.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Five now and I know very much that it is
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: geriatric advance pregnancy is so crazy if it were to happen,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: like so, six months is when you start advised people
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: to start talking about IVF.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: At this point at special.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: It's not necessarily going street to iv but talking with
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: a specialist in reproductive medicine just to go through your
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: options and kind of do some testing to see if
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: there's something going on.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: So how do you tell like women who are just
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: like nervous at a couple of months, how do you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: tell them to just chill?
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: I wish there was like some magic advice that I had.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: I mean, you know what, if you're super anxious though,
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: and for the peace of mind, if it's going to
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: help you to go talk to someone. No one's saying
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: you can't go see someone earlier than six months. You know,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: but it's from an insurance kind of standpoint. A lot
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: of times insurance companies, which is don't even get me
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: started on that. I hate dealing with insurance companies. It's awful.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: But they look at infertility as if you're older than
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: thirty five and you've been trying for six months without success,
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: then they label you infertile and that's when they'll start
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: covering sometimes a lot of treatment. Now how they really
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: know it's you know, but I think for your own
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: peace of mind, if you're stressed at two months in
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: go talk to your doctor, maybe you can get a referral.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: And you know, just starting out and doing the diagnostic testing,
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: a lot of times it is covered.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: So insurance companies will label you infertile. So what does
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: that mean that they won't cover anything?
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: So a lot of times treatment is covered once you
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: have an infertility diagnosis, but you have to that diagnosis.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: So and it depends on the state that you live
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: in and your plan and all of that. But what
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: does an infertility diagnosis mean? So if you're over then
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: thirty five and you've been trying for six months without success,
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: that's an infertility diagnosis. If you're younger than thirty five
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: and you've been trying for one year, you get that diagnosis.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, very interesting because what would you consider like stre
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: because people have like reached out to me and I'm like,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I know that we didn't struggle to conceive because it
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: was seven months, but like that word, I'm like, well
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: that's rude.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I did not What would you consider struggle at a year?
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think that that is individuals because for
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: some people, you know, maybe it was you know, taxing
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: on them for seven months. You know, it may not
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: be that they have that infertility diagnosis. But that's not
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: to say that it wasn't a struggle for you. So
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: I think that's that's a hard to say, hard thing
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: to say, like maybe it wasn't a struggle. Maybe you enjoyed.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Who knows, I didn't enjoy. I know it starts to
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: become it's a chore. It is a chore, to be honest,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm not speaking on behalf of Jared as well.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: It's like a little different, it is.
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: And I think that it's tough too when people are
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: like just have fun with it, like there's nothing fun
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: about this. And I think that my husband would say
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: that as well. It just is not Yeah, it's not fun.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Some people have told me to just have sex every
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: single day, every single and that way. I know. I
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: heard crazy people say that like yeah, and then right
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: day I've heard.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: Jared would be like, no, I can't do that.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Kingly not and plus like then is this true that
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: your sperm quality, like the number the count is going
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: down if you do it every day?
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: And well, if you're doing it every day, yeah, I
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: typically say it like abstinence for three to.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Five days, okay? Interesting? And then I heard from I'll
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: just say, is a bachelor alum one time told me
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: do it five times each day during the ovulation window.
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: Who told you that?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: I can't even I can't out them.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: It was a man. Of course it was man.
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: Of course it was a man.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: He literally said, woke up and we did it before
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I went to work, and then I'd come home throughout that.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: It was like the nuttiest thing I've ever heard in
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: my life.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: It doesn't even make sense. I mean, the sperm doesn't
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: for three to five days, so why are you you
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: know I don't do it once in three days or
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: every other at least. I mean, I would say at
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: most every other day?
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, oh interesting at most every other day?
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: Yes, wow, because if the sperm count's normal, I mean,
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: if there's something went on with the sperm, then there's
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: that's a different issue. I think a lot of times
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: when ye put the blame on them when there's something
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: going on. But you know, oftentimes it can.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Be percent of the time here, but it's the guy. Yeah,
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: and when do you check sperm count about the six
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: month mark as well?
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so what would be for male and female? Once
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: you go see the reproductive endocrinologist, it's for male and female,
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: so they do, you know, the analysis, and then they
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: also look at mormones and things like that for the woman.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Well, how have you been since having Brady? Your daughter Brady?
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: How'd you come up with the name, because that's Dawson's
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: middle name after you know, of course Tom Brady.
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: We've just always liked that name, and we thought about
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: it if it was a boy or a girl, we probably, like,
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: I like unisex names, so we probably just name him
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: or her Brady. Yeah. I thought it was unique, and
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: I liked it for a girl even more than I
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: like it for a boy. NOI fence, but I just
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: think it's like kind of you know, I like the
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: unisex names.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's very cute. Yeah, Hayes is also I
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: guess it could be either way. It could be yeah,
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: it could be.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: So how have you been like postpas?
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean we were scheduled, you know, to come on.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: Oh gosh, when was it? A couple of weeks ago ago?
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: And I had to cancel and I'm so sorry.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I just was not It's not a big deal. So
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I get it more than anyone, you know, Oh my gosh.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I was like I wouldn't get it like a lot
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: of other women.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: I would not be able to even think straight. So
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: we're in the thick of it, but just you know,
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: it's kind of just part of it, right, it's right
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: a passage, and I just try to soak up every
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: little minute with her, even if she's screaming her head off.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: How has she been as a baby.
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: She's really gassy and that's how I laughed.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: But that's a bad situation. I get it, Oh my god.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: Like I was chatting with Ricky last night and like,
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: was haz like this and we're both looked other were like,
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: I don't remember, I don't know if we just blocked
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: it from our memory. But it's almost like we're new
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: parents all over again because it was so long. You know,
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: that was four and a half years ago, so I
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: can't remember if he was, you know, as gassy and refluxy,
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: but she was just so uncomfortable baby girl. I cannot
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: figure out like how to help her.
• 26:26
  Speaker 6: I don't know it was Dawson like that at all,
• 26:30
  Speaker 6: not really, but I do remember this one moment, the
• 26:33
  Speaker 6: one moment that like I guess you'll probably always remember,
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: is the moment that he's crying and you don't.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: Know how to fix it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: And it wasn't even that big, but like usually it
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, as a newborn, you need to either
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: to burp them, he needs a diaper change, or he's hungry.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And I remember the one time where it was like,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it's not the three of those things,
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: so what can we do? Yeah, there's a book called
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Mama Suits that's all about getting gas out of babies.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, I've got to get that.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I know the author. She send it to
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: me before.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: But we never really needed to use it because he
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: never really had like trapped gas much.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: Yes, So we've done, like the gas drops, the.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: There's a Thing by three too, Yes, the exactly yeah
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: where you like, Yeah.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: That was experience, the Wendy Yes it did. That was interesting.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: So yeah, the age gap with you, you probably able
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: to get Hayes to help you a little bit. He's
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: very understanding.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Probably, how is that?
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I got to be completely honest. I
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: was sad about the age gap at the beginning. I
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: really wanted my kids to be closer together an age.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: My sister and I are about six years apart, and
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: I always felt a little bit like I was an
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: only child growing up. I was in sixth grade when
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: she went away to college. And I mean, my sister
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: and I are close, but I just I mean I
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: looked at you and your sister. It's almost like how cool.
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: I mean, you guys are heard.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: You know, we're two and a half.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: We're two and a half.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: But that's what I want to And that's why I'll
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: get stressed this next time if it doesn't happen quickly,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: because us starting in two weeks is me starting at
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: two and a half years, would you know?
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah? And I was like that too again, going back
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: to that planning planning, planning, and then it was completely
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: out of my control. So I stressed about that, even
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: though there was nothing I could do about it. It
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: just I was really you know, I was just really
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: hoping that they would be closer in age, because in
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: my mind, like the closer in age they are, the
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: closer in relationship they'll be. But I've got to say
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: everything kind of you know, works out because it is
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: very helpful to the fact that Hayes knows what's going on.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: He is super excited. He is such a big, you know, helper.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: And I think that it would be difficult having them
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: closer in age, especially with Brady being more of a
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: fussy baby. That would be difficult to also have a
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: younger toddler for sure.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: That's my biggest that's my fear. I mean, I want
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: them to be I want to get pregnant soon so
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: that they can be that two and a half ish
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: years apart. But I also like, I don't know, how
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: do you do it? I'm just mind boggled. But so
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: many people are, so many people will do it. Two
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: and a half three years seems to be like such
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: a common age gap, it is, and I see women
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: who I was pregnant, like alongside with the first time,
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: and they've already delivered a second oh yeah, And I'm like, oh, yeah,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: are you doing this. I've talked to Raven Ravin and
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I had a nice mom chat a couple of weeks ago.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, how is she doing?
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: She's stressed.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: I mean, sometimes you wonder. I mean I remember when
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: I was in labor with Hayes looking at one of
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: the nurses and being like, I cannot why do people
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: do this more than once? And the nurse was like,
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: because you forget and they're so cute, and it's so
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: right because you do block kind of that bad stuff
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: from your memory and you just thank goodness kids are
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: cute because it's difficult.
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: People tell me all the time and I tell them
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I had like hyperremesis during They're like, how do you
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: how are you doing it again? And I go because
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: I got so mad at people when they would tell
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: me I would forget. I was like, mother efforts, I
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: am not going to forget this. And I kind of
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: have when I get nauseous every once in a while.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: If you just have like a weird nauseous day, who
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: knows what reason, then it comes back and I'm like,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I could ever do this again.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but like older than that.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: What were like, what did any medications help you?
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Zoe Frin really helped My doctor father didn't want me
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: to take it until like twelve to thirteen weeks.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: I was going to say, trimuster.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they say that you could start taking it around ten.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: Every doctor has a different.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Opinion on one, Soffriend's okay, I will probably take it
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: earlier this time, especially since I'll just be like, my
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: life is more demanding with Dawson and I just can't
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: just be like, all right, well today is a total
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: couch day. Like I haven't had a total couch day
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: since Dawson was born. Really right, So so.
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: If you pad it, I don't know enough about it.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: If you had three percent, you have it again?
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: Wow?
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Yes. And my biggest issue was that I was actually
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: able to keep food down.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: I lost a little weight the.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: First trimester from throwing up so much, but food was
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: seventy percent may be held down because I threw up
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: probably like two to three times a day and that,
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: but like for seven months. The thing was it was
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: it was the length of it because I threw up
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: seven months. If I didn't have my zofran, I would
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: throw up, and then zofran makes you incredibly constivated, so
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I would try not to because I was telling oh
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: my god, I was telling you bad a couple of
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: days ago, because we're talking about how on Bachelor in
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Paradise to talk constipation.
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: Did you get constipated there? No?
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, people do.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: I was fine there, Like Jade went eight days without propees. Yeah,
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: which there people are gonna be like, actually, Ben, why
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: do you talk about this so much? But yeah, she
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: went eight days there, But I had gone eight days
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: with doferin in preg pregnancy.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: No I would have so there's no way. Yeah, but
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: aren't you so stuffy like.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Like yes, but but it wasn't. There was this one
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: moment on the toilet. It was really only one where
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I was like, this has got to be worse than
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: giving birth. And to be quite honest, it was worse
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: than giving birth.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Well, I had an epidural like the second I got
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: in the delivery room, so I don't know how it
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: would go naturally, I mean, unmedicatedly.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, so it was bad. It was very bad.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: So I tried not to take the doperin as if
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: there was a day where I was like, ah, I'm
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: not feeling great, but like I think I could get
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: through the day. You know, I would try as long
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: as I could. But then MiraLax was all so fantastic
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: once I discovered that, And anyway, my problem long winded answer,
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: but my problem was drinking, so like any sort of
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: sip of anything would make me run to the bathroom immediately.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: So I was on an iv for like sixteen weeks.
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: What so was your dad able to hook you up to?
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: My dad?
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: So I was able to stay again.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Like another thing that really scares me about this pregnancy
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: with Dawson, obviously, I I'm not gonna we can't live
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: in my parents' house for sixteen weeks, like because Jared
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: is not gonna fly Like I'm not gonna my Jared's
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: not gonna stay there for sixteen weeks.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: He can't because of work.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, so I was luckily hooked up at
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: home my guy I was able to provide us with
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: all the IVY bags.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: My dad would do it from the couch, which that.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: Is so nice. I actually saw your chat with your dad.
• 33:52
  Speaker 6: One.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, I.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: My epidural I mean I got him both times, but
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: this time was so uncomfortable because I was so itchy.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: I could not itchy. I was so itchy. You've got
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: to ask him about that, Okay, Like it was awful.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: I just could not. I'm like, oh, it was bad.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: But theids in it.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, A lot of people get freaked out at that.
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: And so I'm like, I could never be a drug
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: addict because I would just be like constantly scratching myself.
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: This is awful. But yeah, I don't remember it the
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: first time, but this last time it was. And they
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: were able to give me a medication to help with it.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: But I mean I was scratching like there, I was
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: like almost bleeding because I was so itchy.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Holy moly, how would that take that? That take your
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: your head out of the idea that there was a
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: baby coming out of you?
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: I mean, I mean, yeah, maybe it wasn't good distraction.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: That's true. That is true. That's a nice way to
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: spins on it.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: We don't have much time, but I do want to,
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: you know, revisit the fact that it's been nine years
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: since we were on this show show.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, how do you look back on it now?
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Nine years? I mean you and Chris didn't. You weren't
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: together long. No, No, But like do you look back
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: on it fondly still or some parts?
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, some parts I do. I mean I think there
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: is a lot of PTSD for me. I mean I'm
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: not even just throwing that out there, you know, casually
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: as a just term. But I really struggled with some
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: parts of it. But I think that I almost it
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I miss,
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: you know, being with the girls and the fun times
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: and the opportunities that we got to do really cool
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: things and go cool places, some cool places. But that
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: I do miss, But other parts I don't. I don't
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: think I'm made for TV.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: So well, you did a great job when you were there.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: Cool, thank you.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: I just it yourself through and through. You're always calm, seeming.
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: I was not calm.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: I always thought you seem calm.
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, I was not calm.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: But well I wasn't there for the very end of
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: it though, Like I was only there for I was
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: there for.
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: Your first half, there for the majority.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: No, I was there for literally one month and then
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: you were there for an entire month. Because you know
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: how that first like, yeah, I got to be like
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: six or whatever you want to call it, six seventh eight,
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: that was the week that I was eliminated. But you
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: got that whole second half of the show is so
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: much longer, Yeah, because your week's actually become weeks.
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Do you do you look like, how do you look
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: back and think about that engagement moment, Like do you
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: like think it's crazy that you thought that that would
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: be like your partner for life?
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: Crazy? Yeah, but I think we're just I mean, and
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: when I was in it, it was so real, but
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: coming out of it, it was we were just in
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: such a bubble, you know, so I'm able to kind
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: of step outside of that bubble obviously being almost a
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: decade out to be like that, I was completely drinking
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: kool egg. I mean, that's I really was in my mind.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: I really did think like this is this is it?
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: And you know, on the outside of that, I'm like,
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: how did I ever think that there was just it
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: was just not a good match.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then the last question is Dancing with the
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Stars was a big like part of the ending, Like
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: you guys would have ended it either way.
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: But either way, but I think that sped it up up.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: So advice to Charity and Dowton and any other bachelor
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: couples that partake in that experience.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: I think it's hard coming straight off the show and
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: going right into that. You know, you look at Caitlin,
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: who she was had more of an established relationship going
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: into it. I think that's better than I guess for
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: me at that time, how I felt, I remember this
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: so vividly, is that I had just spent however many
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: months on a show, competing with other women to get
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: this guy's attention, and you finally get to where you
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: can be out in public. And I felt like that's
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: what I was continuing to do with Dancing with the Stars,
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: is that it was just there was so much time.
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: I felt like I was just competing to get attention
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: and it was like, this is not It was just
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: it was brutal. It was bad. So I would say
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: for anyone coming off of the show, is just to
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: make sure that you make time for each other because
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: it is very time consuming. It's very demanding, as you know,
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: being on the show and the practices, and I can't
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: imagine having to be in front of a national audience
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: dancing live. I mean, that's stressing to you, it's just crazy.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: So I get the stress that that entails me. You
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: want to practice and like be the best that you
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: can be, but just not to forget about your person.
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Well Waitnie, thank you for giving us your time. It
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: is truly precious. In the situation, I'm trying.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: To think of the last time I saw you. Was
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: it Carly's wedding?
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yeah, I think so. Well, uh, this
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: makes me miss you and I'm so grateful for you
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: coming on and just telling us all like the know,
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: the intimate details.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and I appreciate it and good luck to you.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: I might I might be texting you and being like, listen,
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: should questions.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: You just text me all right bye?
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you bye.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.