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Rewriting Your Identity: How to See Yourself as a Fit, Balanced Person (Before You Get There) · FitMitTuro Fitness Podcast

• 1:09
  Turo Virta: Hey, it's Turo here, and welcome back to the fit me Turo fitness Podcast. Today I want to talk something that doesn't show up on a meal plan or in a workout app, but it's the one thing that decides whether any of that actually works, and that is identity. So how you see yourself before the results show up? So you have probably heard me say before that fat loss and fitness are not about knowing more. They are about doing what we already know and that more consistently.
• 1:42
  Turo Virta: Because I believe that the best coaches in the world who I happen to know they are not the ones who always find something new things, what you might find in social media or something, but it's actually doing things, what you probably already heard, what you already know you should be doing, and then actually sticking with those things and doing them more consistently.
• 2:07
  Turo Virta: And here is the thing, because you will never act consistently out of alignment with the identity you believe you have.
• 2:16
  Turo Virta: So if deep down, you still see yourself as someone who struggles with the food or the unmotivated one, or the woman who always starts but never finishes. Your brain will look for the ways to prove that story true, and that's how powerful that identity is. Because I believe that most people try to act fit before they believe they are fit. So they think that once I lose 10 kilos, then I will start feeling confident. Or they think that I just need to lose these first five kilos quickly, and then I start, once I lose them, I start to implement some something more sustainable. So they are thinking seeing that end results first, and then think that this is like and this is going to then I'm just going to stick with those habits, what I'm going to going to do. And I know, like most people, know, that those kind of detoxes or quick fixes, that they are not there in a for long term, but they are still so tempted to try those things in the beginning just to get the first results, and thinking that that results, those results are giving them that motivation to stick with that. But honestly, I have talked with so many people, when I see those people who are telling that this story, and this is very, very hard to be actually, to prove otherwise, because you have those beliefs, maybe it have worked at some point. But if you think that, how many times have you tried something, quick fixes, and then, if you are, if you need to search quick fixes, maybe six months after one year, after two years after those things didn't work. Even initially you worked, you might have got, or most likely, you have got some results, but that in the long term, it's never going to be success, and that's why you have to start something like identity first, and then, like going kind of inside out first, and that then those changes are possible to do for the rest of the life, which I believe is also your goal, or otherwise, you wouldn't be listening this. So because confidence isn't something that appears after the results, you might think that you need to lose those kilos or pounds, but that it's not you are not getting more confident when you see it a different number on the scale, because confidence it's built through small actions that prove a new story to yourself.
• 5:01
  Turo Virta: And here is, like my my own example. So when I was when I was younger, I used to define myself by performance. So if I trained hard, I was doing well.
• 5:11
  Turo Virta: If I missed a workout, I felt like I have failed, and I saw myself as an athlete. So as I was a professional ice hockey player, but every every choice I made. Had to fit that identity like obviously, there were times that it was better. There were times that they didn't. They were not. I didn't. I wasn't living like athlete all the time, but it was, it was still I was living, I was trying to act as an athlete, and of course, it was when you are younger you want to have also fun. But then it wasn't. It wasn't until I stopped playing hockey professionally, I had to rebuild my whole sense of who I was, because I wasn't the athlete anymore. And I remember thinking that, if I don't identify as that person, how do I stay consistent now? And this is some some where I see that many, many athletes who have played some sports, either professionally or semi professionally, when they finish their career, that's the point when you start to like that. Okay? Because for me it was like going to the gym, for example, that was something, what I had to do. I never enjoyed doing it, but I had to do because I knew that if I'm not going to gym, it's going to affect to my performance. And then when I thought that, okay, now I'm not that athlete anymore. I don't need to go there. And I was so tired of going to the gym, and then I thought that now I'm just not going there because I don't need to go. I don't need to lift those heavy weights and going to the gym because I'm not. I don't care anymore my performance. But then it took decade for me that I obviously I was at time. I was 30 when I retired, and then it step by step, everything start to get slower. You are eating as as as an athlete, but you are not having that same activity level as an athlete. And of course, you think that, how is that going to affect? Like I gained weight, I started to have soreness or back pain. Lower back pain was consistently around, and then I it came to moment that I have to start doing something. And it was one decision that I started, and I started to go back to gym so like hell. And of course, that's the hardest part. Was restarting because I, I used to be an I, of course, I knew exactly how much weight I used for my squats, everything when I was in my top shape. And then after decade, you go back, you think that, okay, this is what I should, should be doing. Now also I was, last time I was doing squats, I had a 200 kilos in a bar. And now I went there, and I don't know, just some warm ups, and I, I believe I had like a 50 kilos.
• 8:27
  Turo Virta: I couldn't walk for a week because I was so sore. My my legs were shaking, and I was like that, holy shit. Where did I? Where did how bad I have become, how much progress I have lost. But good thing is, what I found out later is that I knew always that there is something called muscle memory. So you are getting, if you have, at some point of your life, you have been in a good shape, you have built that strength, it's relatively easy to get back. So it took for me maybe three months, two, three months, I was pretty close to my old strength levels. Of course, not anymore, doing 200 kilo squats but but pretty close deadlifts.
• 9:17
  Turo Virta: Everything got relatively quick, quickly back where I used to be.
• 9:22
  Turo Virta: So that's a good thing, and it's always because you have your body remembers where you have been. It's, it's, that's the good thing with the strength, once you have built it, even there is a period or, like, for me, it was a decade that I didn't train anymore strength training, and it's, you are getting it back relatively easy.
• 9:42
  Turo Virta: So that's the that's the good thing, because it's building strength. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort. But then advantage is that it also takes a lot of time to lose it, and even if you at some point you happen to lose it, it's relatively easy to get back. So that was, that was my my own story, and I want to give just a few more examples from my clients. So Samia is one of my longtime online coaching clients, and she used to describe herself as as an inconsistent she would do everything perfectly for a week and then disappear for two but the moment she started to identify as someone who moves daily, her behavior changed. She started walking on her brakes, taking stairs instead of elevator, getting her 7000 steps even On stressful days. And it wasn't about discipline anymore.
• 10:46
  Turo Virta: It was about who she was becoming. And then there is Ingrid. She never saw herself as an as athletic. She thought training was something for fit people, but when she started realizing that she actually enjoyed how movement made her feel, see how she could hike longer, feel stronger, and do things she hadn't done in years.
• 11:09
  Turo Virta: Her motivation came naturally, and she didn't have to force it anymore. Obviously, she was very overweight when she started with me, but then and it was those were things that she couldn't even imagine, like going for a hike because she was ashamed, or be the person who was always behind. And even you are not trying to compare yourself, you feel guilt and shame because you are not you are not able to hold up with the others and then or other ones have to wait her. So that was something they said, though that I then it was for her, was that then she rather not, is not even going there.
• 11:55
  Turo Virta: She's not even trying because she's not fit enough, because she's not one of those fit people. And but that shift what happened to Ingrid when, when she stopped saying, I'm not in shape, and she started to, started saying, I'm someone who takes care of my body. And because those identity changes, they are so small, they are not dramatic. So you don't have to call yourself an athlete. You can simply start by saying, I'm learning to be consistent, and that's enough to begin rewriting how you see yourself, because the brain is it's loving that kind of stories. It wants your actions to match your story. So when you keep saying, I'm a fit person, you will subconsciously act in a ways that make make that story true. Every protein, rich, breakfast, every evening, walk, every time you get seven hours of sleep. Those are votes for your new identity. And think it, think it like this is, this is like, all these kind of decisions or votes, what you are giving to your new yourself or your new identity. It's like that, you know, if you think that all decisions, all votes, what you are doing, like, let's say that you have 100 votes per day, what you are going to eat for breakfast? Are you going for a walk? Are you going to sleep early enough? Of course, you don't need to get everything right. But let's say that at this point, if you have from 100 votes in a day, you have you make 45 good ones, and you are able to do only five, maybe 10, maybe 15, you are becoming you are building that new identity because you are giving more votes to that your new identity.
• 13:53
  Turo Virta: So this is these. Are just these actions, what you are able to do. And the hardest part is to let that your little perfectionist way, and not let that effect on the way, how you think, how you feel yourself, because the hardest part is like that. I'm guilty of it too, that, or I used to be. I try to become better. But if you are all the time, if you tell yourself like I was an athlete, and when I when I didn't have time to do full hour workout or 45 minute workout, is that it's it's not even worth of it doing like 1520 minutes. But now, when I get that 15 minute workout in, I feel so much better about myself, and that is what builds consistency. Because even those shorter workouts, even there is like a one, two workout, that is that consistency. That is that keeping your promises, what you make to yourself, if you promise yourself that you are trying to become a person that hit hits workouts consistency, because consistently, it's not about being perfect for a couple of weeks or maybe month, but it's more like doing actually getting started getting that first step done every single time when you keep that promise. Because once you start to break those promises, what you make to yourself, that is when those old identity becomes in I'm not just a I'm not motivated, I'm not able to do this. But once you start to keep those promises, what you make to yourself, that if you are a person who works out, who is doing strength training couple times per week, and you are only going to get started, that is when you start to build that identity, you start to build that consistency, and that's the way how you are actually going to do it. So I want to talk a little bit about the science behind this. So when you act in alignment with your new identity, you get small dopamine hit. That dopamine reinforces the action and makes you want to repeat it over time.
• 16:17
  Turo Virta: That repetition wires the brain to expect that behavior, and this is why people who call themselves runners run more than people who try to run. So it's, it's, it's a huge difference how you are talking to yourself, what kind of words you are using, if you call yourself a runner, or if you call yourself someone who is trying to run and think it like, just test, for example, in a in your workouts, if you are training, or if you are doing a workout that is, you might think that it's the same thing, and it is, but there is a huge difference how you are talking if you are training for something Like, it doesn't matter, like, that's why I, I love to set like, performance based goals. Like it's nothing, it has nothing to do with being an athlete, but it motivates all. For so many people more when you, you are working on some goal, it could be for your improving your performance, if you are doing some sports, like for me, at this point, I love playing tennis. I love I have been playing and that is, I try to become better player at tennis. And that's why, like, it's at this point maybe, maybe that goal is changing. But when you train as an athlete who is trying to improve their performance in some sport or or in in if it's if it's at the gym, you could try to pick, for example, your favorite exercise and try to set your personal best. I don't recommend to going for one rep max, but, for example, being able to dead lift certain amount of weight for five repetitions with good form.
• 18:07
  Turo Virta: So that is something what is safe, and it's very realistic.
• 18:11
  Turo Virta: And once you are able to hit that five repetitions, whatever, 30 kilos, 40 kilos, whatever number you decide, and that is what you are. You call yourself.
• 18:25
  Turo Virta: You are not just doing workout to do workout, but you are training to improve your performance, improve your personal best, and that is how you are starting to change your identity.
• 18:37
  Turo Virta: And it's an if you think like your food choices, if you if, if you are someone who is saying that I'm learning to eat for energy. That is, that is someone who makes a lot better food choices than someone who says that I'm on a diet and I'm, I'm working with that. It's, it's funny like how these things are affecting if I look, I work with the younger athletes like they are 1314, 15, and this is when they are they are training for something they know, like, of course, they don't have all the knowledge in the world. They know that zukers are bad, but it was good story I was doing like my nephew loves to play tennis, and he's 14, and I was baking some sweets, like Finnish, how to say, like, kind of donuts.
• 19:40
  Turo Virta: And then, then I was, of course, I I'm not. I tried to reduce sugar a little bit, so I did a receipt and took only half amount of sugar, what was given, and it's it's enough for me. I don't know if I put full amount of sugar. It's way too sweet, because I'm not used to eat that much sugar. And when, when I said that, I baked those delicious donuts, and that if you want to taste one, that they just took them out from Owen, and they are so delicious when they are so fresh. And I asked him if he want to have one, and he said that, no, thank you. And I already understood that, okay, he's an athlete. And then I said that, yeah, I made them. There is almost no sugar. And, oh, okay, then I might taste one, and then he took one. But this is, this is how you are. These are just examples how you are.
• 20:36
  Turo Virta: If you, if you are training, or you are learning to eat for your performance or energy, or if you are saying that, Oh, I'm on diet, I can't have this. And it's often because those people who are saying that, who are, who are on diet, they are just trying to, we power out that thing, what they are doing. But if you are, if you are telling that I'm, I'm learning to eat for energy and for my performance. So that is, that is literally a moment when you are teaching your brain what kind of person you are through small daily actions. So then, how do you then rewrite your identity?
• 21:24
  Turo Virta: So here are three steps I use with my clients. And step number one is always starting noticing your old story. This is everything. Everything starts like, because it's so easy, it's so tempting, tempting that, if you like, if you think anything that, for example, diets or workouts. You know that? Okay, I I need to cut out sugar. It's simple. It's easy. I need to limit my eating times. You make a rule for yourself. That's That's your problem. You might think that you I'm sure you know there is, like 100 things, what you know that they are not right. They are not good. You have to just change them and then stick with that. But if you notice your old story and you I highly recommend grab a piece of paper and write down how you describe yourself. So often, what I hear is that I'm lazy. I always quit. I hate meal prep.
• 22:27
  Turo Virta: And these are not facts. They are just old scripts your brain has told to yourself for years, and once you see them written down, you can start challenging them. So this is, this is just because it always starts like changing your nutrition. It doesn't start that doing everything correctly. It starts learning where you are at this point and then starting to challenge yourself. For example, if people who are coming to me, I never tell that, I never keep meal plan ready. And here is what you need to do, because that is trying to will power out and see how long you are lasting this time. But when you start to see your patterns, what you are actually doing, like in this case, if you if you are telling that, what you are telling to yourself, it's kind of the same thing you see what is, how is your current nutrition? Then when you see it, when it's visible, you are starting to you are more aware what you are actually doing, where you are at the moment, then it's so much easier to start actually changing those things. So for example, nutrition wise, it's not that okay. We might need to cut something, but often the hardest or the easiest way to get the same outcome is to actually start adding something.
• 23:56
  Turo Virta: So it could be nutrition wise.
• 24:03
  Turo Virta: It could be adding more protein, adding more fiber, eating protein, rich breakfast, having more sleep, having more steps, so many things depending on where you are. But then in as we talk now about identity, step number two is always, is creating your I Am statement, so choose a sentence that feels believable but empowering. So for example, you could be using I'm someone who takes care of my body. I'm learning to move consistently. I'm someone who eats to feel good, not to punish myself. Say to yourself each morning or as often as you can, or write it down in a sticky note, put it somewhere visible, because that more often you say to yourself, more often you see it, that chances are that you are actually starting to believe it, you are starting to change, that your identity doesn't happen overnight. But more often, you see it that you are and you are telling to yourself, I'm a person who takes care of my body. I'm a person who is learning to move consistently.
• 25:25
  Turo Virta: There is a lot higher chances that you are actually starting to become that person. And it's, it's lot harder than it sounds.
• 25:34
  Turo Virta: It's not going to happen overnight. You will forget it.
• 25:37
  Turo Virta: You will fail it. But once you keep repeating, you keep trying, it's, it will get better, I promise you. And because the goal isn't perfection, it's that repetition. And that is what is step number two, and what you have to do if you want to cause most people, they skip this part. They are not writing it says, Yeah, I know it. I know it. It's it's just going in their mind. But if you, if you are not actually writing it, you are not putting it visible, you might be able to do it for a couple days. But then, for some reason, we happen to forget these things, and we don't do them anymore as consistently as we should be doing. And then Step number three is trying to act like that person 80% of the time. So you know my favorite rule, you don't need 100% perfection to change your life.
• 26:36
  Turo Virta: You just need 80% consistency, or even 70. But if you act like that new identity most of the time, your brain updates the story automatically. So when you skip a workout, you don't say I failed. You say I'm the kind of person who shows up again tomorrow, and that's how identity based habits work. So here is what I want you to try this week, next time you are about to make a choice, whether it's food, workouts or sleep or steps, ask yourself, what would be the balanced version of me to do right now? What would be the fitter person to choose to eat right now? What would be the person who have the similar goals than I have? What kind of decision that person would do?
• 27:35
  Turo Virta: Would it? If it would be that, should I walk? Should I take a car? Should I take a train or bus or whatever, or where? If you go to buy groceries, where you should be parking. Those are all kind of small decisions, what you are making without probably even noticing, because you have that auto mode where we are acting without like, you know, if there is a red light, you automatically stop without thinking. You don't even realize that you stop, but it's just a red light, you stop, and it's, it's not, it's once, it's, it's in, in you, you are doing it automatically, without thinking, without that, you need a willpower. And it's, it's, trust me, that it's, it's the same thing with your workouts.
• 28:20
  Turo Virta: When you say that it's in your calendar, it's appointment for yourself, and you tell to yourself that this is the time when I need to get started. Then you do it automatically without thinking that, Oh, how I feel today? Do I feel like motivated?
• 28:35
  Turo Virta: Am I tired? Because at least for me, I would always find 1000 excuses to not actually do but when it's in a calendar, I have set my workout clothes.
• 28:49
  Turo Virta: Everything is ready, and all what I need to do is to change, go, take the first step. And if after that, I still feel like that, oh, today I really don't feel like working out. Then I go to my basement, get warm up, or one exercise done, and then if after that, I still feel like that, today is not just today. I can stop without feeling any guilt because I did everything I could. But it wasn't just or I'm out sort of time, whatever reason there is. But after that, I give myself permission to stop every single time. And that works like more often than not, there are days there are times that I quit after one exercise, but more often than not, it's as to about to get started. And then once I'm started, I think, okay, I do one more, and then maybe another one, and in the end, I might have a good workout in so. So that is a question.
• 29:46
  Turo Virta: What you need to ask yourself, what would be that person, who you want to become to do right now? What decision, not the perfect one, but just the balanced one? So that person, maybe would go for 20 minute walk instead of nothing. Maybe that person is eating something with protein before chocolate.
• 30:11
  Turo Virta: Maybe that person is closing the laptop 15 minutes earlier tonight. And because each of these votes are choices, and each of these choices is a vote for the person you are becoming.
• 30:27
  Turo Virta: And the truth is that change isn't about finding new plan or diet. It's about finding a new story. Because if you keep telling yourself I'm not there yet, you will always behave like someone who isn't there yet. But if you start telling yourself, I'm learning to live like a strong, balanced person, you will start to see evidence of that everywhere, and that's so here is one more time your small challenge for the week. Write one I am statement, just one, and live by it for the next seven days. Notice how even small actions feel different when they match your identity.
• 31:16
  Turo Virta: And if you want help building the habits that match this new story, check out my balanced lifestyle blueprint, or my eight week challenge, which is starting in early 2026 at personal trainer turo.com so the goal isn't to become someone new, it's to become more of who you already are. So thank you so much for listening, and if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who has been too hard on themselves lately, because we all need a reminder that progress doesn't start with perfection. It starts with identity. Have a great week and keep becoming that stronger, more balanced version of you.