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The Girls Trip: Because Sometimes the Therapy is the Table, Not the Destination · The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming

• 0:10
  Welcome to The Voice, where breaking, believing, and becoming finally have somewhere to be heard.
• 0:16
  I'm Kim Munoz, and I'm so happy you're here.
• 0:20
  Today, we're going to talk about girl trips. And before the men listening get
• 0:25
  nervous, just stay with me.
• 0:28
  You may actually learn something about us.
• 0:31
  Because this episode isn't really about travel. It's about friendship.
• 0:35
  About the women who witnessed your life, the ones who knew you before the divorce,
• 0:40
  before the glow-up, before the business, and before the kids left home.
• 0:46
  The women who've seen every version of you and somehow still answer the group
• 0:50
  text, because somewhere along the way, girl trips stopped being vacations,
• 0:55
  and they became survival.
• 0:57
  And I'm not talking about escaping life. I'm just talking about stepping away
• 1:02
  long enough to remember who you are inside of it all.
• 1:07
  In your 20s, we packed outfits, Tiny little outfits. We had no real money.
• 1:15
  We crammed several women into one hotel room, shared one hair dryer,
• 1:20
  and somehow thought sleeping for two hours was completely reasonable.
• 1:24
  We barely ate because we were saving all that room for alcohol.
• 1:28
  And honestly, we recovered from all of it by lunchtime. Those were the days.
• 1:34
  Or were they? I'm not entirely sure.
• 1:37
  Or in your 30s, if you had kids by then, you were either packing them up and
• 1:44
  bringing them with you, or you desperately wanted to, because leaving the babies felt impossible.
• 1:52
  And then if you actually did leave them behind, you spent the entire trip calling
• 1:56
  home, checking in every few hours, and making sure everyone was still alive.
• 2:00
  What are they eating? Did they brush their teeth? Do they miss me?
• 2:04
  Do they even remember who I am?
• 2:07
  And what we didn't realize then was that a few days away wasn't making us bad
• 2:11
  moms. It was helping us become better ones.
• 2:15
  Then in your 40s, the anxiety, anxiety of leaving everything behind,
• 2:21
  the kids, the schedules, responsibilities, the husbands, the family.
• 2:27
  Most of us spent half the trip checking our phones to make sure nothing bad
• 2:31
  had happened, nothing had caught on fire while we were gone.
• 2:35
  Looking back, I mean, the guilt was ridiculous.
• 2:39
  But at the time, it felt very real.
• 2:43
  Then enters your 50s. Suddenly, you're packing medications, readers,
• 2:50
  chargers, supplements, a neck pillow, compression socks, enough emergency supplies
• 2:56
  to survive a Category 4 hurricane.
• 2:59
  I mean, one friend has the pharmacy, one friend's got a portable fan,
• 3:05
  someone has backup chargers for everyone, and one friend has enough snacks to
• 3:09
  feed a small village in case the resort somehow runs out of food.
• 3:14
  And somehow, my carry-on still weighs 47 pounds.
• 3:19
  Here's the good news. We're finally old enough to know the trip isn't really
• 3:24
  about the destination anymore.
• 3:26
  It's not about the hotel or the itinerary, and half the time it's not even about the beach.
• 3:32
  It's about the people we're taking the trip with.
• 3:36
  The older you get, the more you realize memories aren't made by where you went.
• 3:40
  They're made by the people sitting across the table laughing with you.
• 3:45
  I can tell you some of the best moments as girlfriends haven't happened on the
• 3:50
  beach, at dinner, or on an excursion.
• 3:54
  They've happened late at night, in PJs, no makeup, telling stories we've told
• 4:00
  a hundred times before, laughing so hard somebody has to run to the bathroom.
• 4:06
  And that's the part you remember long after the tan fades and the suitcase gets unpacked.
• 4:13
  Somewhere in those moments, I always have the same thought. We're basically
• 4:18
  having grown-up slumber parties. I mean, aren't we?
• 4:22
  Because when we were little girls, we didn't need fancy hotels.
• 4:26
  We didn't need excursions or reservations.
• 4:30
  We just needed a few friends, some snacks, somebody willing to stay up talking until midnight.
• 4:37
  And all these years later, it turns out that wasn't something we outgrew.
• 4:41
  It was something we forgot.
• 4:43
  Maybe that's why these trips matter so much. Because for a little while,
• 4:48
  we get to remember the simple joy of being together.
• 4:53
  And maybe the little girls we used to be knew something all along.
• 4:57
  That friendship was never an extra part of life. It was the point.
• 5:02
  Every girl's trip, though, has a cast of characters, doesn't it?
• 5:06
  Doesn't matter if you're going to Florida, Nashville, Europe,
• 5:10
  or a Hilton three towns over, the same women somehow show up.
• 5:16
  Airport camp counselor wants everybody at the airport two hours before the flight,
• 5:22
  not because of TSA, but because she genuinely enjoys being there.
• 5:26
  She wants coffee, breakfast, she wants to browse the gift shops,
• 5:30
  and if it's 6 a.m., she's already reaching for a mimosa or suggesting Bailey's in the coffee.
• 5:36
  Honestly, she's one delayed flight away from organizing team-building exercises at gate B12.
• 5:43
  Then you've got Airport Cowboy. Believes that if boarding starts at 545,
• 5:49
  arriving at 542 is perfectly reasonable.
• 5:52
  Removing her shoes in the security line while simultaneously checking whether
• 5:56
  boarding has already started.
• 5:58
  Everyone else is having breakfast, she's still in the Uber, and somehow she's never missed a flight.
• 6:05
  Easygoing one. She's got no opinion whatsoever.
• 6:09
  Where are we eating? I don't care. What time are we leaving? Whatever y'all want.
• 6:15
  Window seat or aisle. Either one. Honestly, she's probably the happiest person on the trip.
• 6:20
  The funny part is every single woman listening right now thinks she's this person,
• 6:25
  and almost none of them are.
• 6:28
  Then there's the coordinator. And somehow on every trip, that becomes me,
• 6:34
  even if I didn't plan the trip.
• 6:37
  And I'd like to point out, I haven't usually always been to those destinations
• 6:44
  that we find ourselves at, but suddenly everybody's looking at me.
• 6:48
  Where are we going? What's the hotel?
• 6:50
  What's the plan? I don't know. I'm reading the same Google Maps you are,
• 6:56
  but somehow I've been promoted to director of operations.
• 6:59
  Then we have the snorer.
• 7:02
  And my friend group, that is me. So when hotel rooms get tight,
• 7:07
  nobody's fighting over who gets to sleep with me.
• 7:09
  They're drowning, they're drowning, not drowning, they're drawing straws,
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  downloading white noise apps, building pillow barricades, and praying.
• 7:20
  Maybe they wish they were drowning.
• 7:22
  Then you've got the overpacker. She has 12 bags for a three-day trip,
• 7:27
  a suitcase for clothes, one for shoes.
• 7:29
  She's got one that she's never going to touch while she's there,
• 7:33
  and somehow she still needs to borrow a toothbrush.
• 7:36
  Then we have the pharmacy friend. You know, she's portioning out medications
• 7:41
  and supplements like a highly organized drug dealer.
• 7:44
  Who needs ibuprofen? Anybody need a probiotic? I've got allergy medication,
• 7:49
  magnesium, pepto, melatonin, band-aids, and something for a rash in case y'all
• 7:54
  are feeling adventurous.
• 7:56
  Honestly, if civilization collapsed, she'd keep the group alive for at least another week.
• 8:02
  Then we have the friend who says, I'll be ready in five minutes.
• 8:06
  She will not be ready in five minutes. She has never been ready in five minutes.
• 8:12
  Nobody believes her, not even her.
• 8:15
  Five minutes in her world is less of a time measurement and more of a personality trait.
• 8:21
  Finally, the social mayor, the woman who talks to absolutely everyone,
• 8:26
  bartender, Uber driver, hotel concierge, woman selling candles,
• 8:30
  guy walking his dog, the dog.
• 8:33
  By the end of the trip, she's made new friends, acquired three nicknames,
• 8:38
  knows everybody's life story, and has probably been invited to Thanksgiving
• 8:41
  by someone she met 12 minutes ago.
• 8:44
  And you know what? Surprise. That's me too. I know. Shocker.
• 8:50
  But doesn't every girl's trip need one? Because somehow, they're always the
• 8:55
  reason the best stories happen.
• 8:57
  Trust me, I get the best stories. And here's the funny part.
• 9:02
  The minute we arrive, everyone becomes the vacation version of themselves.
• 9:07
  We've got the adventurer. They're unpacked, changed, standing in the lobby before
• 9:12
  you even found your room.
• 9:13
  They've already booked an excursion, made dinner reservations,
• 9:16
  and somehow know where the best local coffee shop is. Then you've got the spa.
• 9:22
  Their goal is simple. They want to do absolutely nothing.
• 9:25
  They didn't come here to see the sights, learn about the culture.
• 9:29
  They just came here to lie horizontal and be left alone.
• 9:33
  Then you've got the party crew. They're ready for cocktails,
• 9:37
  dinner, live music, whatever happens after dinner.
• 9:40
  And every morning, they wake up acting completely shocked that they're tired
• 9:44
  and absolutely convinced they're not hungover because it couldn't possibly have
• 9:49
  been the eight bottles of champagne.
• 9:51
  No, they're probably getting sick. Maybe allergies. Maybe dehydration.
• 9:56
  Maybe mercury is in retrograde.
• 9:58
  Anything except the eight bottles of champagne. Then there are the nappers.
• 10:04
  Nappers paid good money for this trip and fully intend to sleep through at least half of it.
• 10:08
  They're taking a quick nap at 2 o'clock, but you won't see them again until dinner.
• 10:14
  Then you've got the sightseer. They have a spreadsheet, color-coded itinerary,
• 10:20
  17 things that we absolutely must see before we leave, and they're trying to
• 10:25
  make the most of every minute.
• 10:28
  Meanwhile, the spa person is trying to make the most of every robe.
• 10:32
  Then you've got the foodie, the foodie playing the entire vacation around where we're eating.
• 10:38
  Not the hotel or the beach or the attractions, the restaurants.
• 10:43
  They're already talking about lunch during breakfast and discussing dinner during lunch.
• 10:48
  Honestly, I respect it. I'm from New Orleans.
• 10:51
  Around here, food isn't part of the trip. Food is the trip. Everything else
• 10:56
  is just what we do in between.
• 10:59
  Somehow, despite all of this, us wanting completely different things, it works.
• 11:06
  And eventually, everybody ends up back around the same table.
• 11:11
  Telling stories, laughing, comparing notes, and realizing that somehow the best
• 11:17
  part of the trip wasn't what we did, it was who we did it with.
• 11:21
  And as funny as all of that is, that's not really why we keep taking the trips.
• 11:27
  It's not the destination, or the restaurants, or the matching pajamas.
• 11:32
  It's definitely not because sleeping four women in one hotel room gets easier with age.
• 11:38
  The older I get, the more I realize these trips become something else,
• 11:43
  something sacred, because life gets busy, really busy.
• 11:48
  Careers, children, marriage, divorce, aging parents, loss, responsibilities,
• 11:56
  and before you know it, years have passed.
• 11:59
  Then one weekend, you find yourself sitting around a table with women who know your story.
• 12:07
  They knew you before the heartbreak, celebrated your victories,
• 12:11
  answered the phone when life fell apart, prayed for you when you couldn't find the words yourself.
• 12:17
  And something happens when you're sitting with them. You remember yourself.
• 12:22
  Not the version that's carrying everybody else's needs or solving everybody
• 12:27
  else's problems or paying everybody else's bills.
• 12:31
  You, the version God created before life got so loud.
• 12:36
  One thing I've learned is that God never intended for us to walk through life
• 12:40
  alone. We were created for community.
• 12:44
  Not a perfect community. Not a drama-free community.
• 12:48
  Certainly not group texts with 37 unread messages, although some of those group
• 12:54
  texts have gotten me through seasons I wasn't sure I'd survive.
• 12:59
  God often sends people to carry pieces of the burden with us.
• 13:03
  People who pray for us, laugh with us, and cry with us.
• 13:08
  They tell us the truth when we need to hear it.
• 13:11
  And they remind us who we are when life tries to convince us otherwise, and what a gift that is.
• 13:19
  Friendship isn't a luxury, it's a gift. And the older I get,
• 13:24
  the more I realize it's also maintenance for your heart, your spirit, your sanity.
• 13:31
  Sometimes a weekend with people who love you is exactly what reminds you that
• 13:35
  life is still beautiful.
• 13:37
  Maybe that's why these trips matter so much. Not because we need to escape our
• 13:43
  lives, but because every now and then we need to reconnect with the people who
• 13:48
  help us remember who we've always been.
• 13:52
  Before we go, I want you to think about this.
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  Who are the people who help you remember who you are?
• 14:00
  Have you made enough room in your life for friendships and for those people?
• 14:06
  And when was the last time you stopped being productive long enough to simply
• 14:11
  enjoy the people God placed in your life?
• 14:14
  Because someday, the photos won't matter nearly as much as the laughter and
• 14:20
  memories around the table.
• 14:22
  Life moves quickly. The kids grow up.
• 14:26
  Seasons change. People we love get older, and some we lose.
• 14:33
  So take the trip. Order the dessert.
• 14:37
  Stay up too late laughing. Take the picture. Tell the story.
• 14:42
  Thank God for the people who walk beside you, because one day you won't remember every restaurant,
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  you won't remember the excursions or every hotel room, but you'll remember who
• 14:55
  was sitting around the table laughing with you.
• 14:59
  Until next time, take care of yourself, treasure your people, and keep becoming.