Latest / Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women / Stop Abandoning YOURSELF for Love with Junie Moon

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Stop Abandoning YOURSELF for Love with Junie Moon · Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome to Thrive After 45, the podcast where we redefine what's possible in midlife.
• 0:08
  I'm Denise drw, your midlife renewal coach here to help you embrace your power, purpose, and potential.
• 0:14
  This is your space to let go of guilt, navigate transitions, rediscover joy and thrive for you by you because of you.
• 0:23
  It is such an honor and a privilege to welcome and introduce Junie Moon to our show today.
• 0:30
  Junie is a woman who has walked through the fire and emerged with not only wisdom.
• 0:37
  A powerful message to share.
• 0:39
  After navigating years of dysfunctional relationships and doing the deep inner work required to break those patterns, she discovered a profound path to healing.
• 0:49
  One rooted in shadow work.
• 0:52
  Radical self-love.
• 0:54
  That discovery didn't just change her life.
• 0:58
  It set her on a mission to help others do the same.
• 1:01
  And today, Judy is known as a love and relationship.
• 1:06
  Expert guiding women, especially those in the second half of life toward deeper self-awareness, empowered choices, and the possibility of healthy soul aligned partnerships.
• 1:19
  For the past 15 years, she's helped thousands of women move past fear.
• 1:24
  Release old wounds and create lives and relationships that they truly love.
• 1:30
  Through her work, Junie invites us to believe in what's possible, not only in love, but within ourselves.
• 1:38
  So settle in this conversation is full of heart truth, and it will be inspirational.
• 1:44
  Junie is a light and I am so thrilled to have her with us today.
• 1:50
  Welcome to the show, Judy.
• 1:52
  Thank you.
• 1:53
  What a wonderful intro.
• 1:54
  My gosh.
• 1:55
  Thank you.
• 1:55
  And it is such a pleasure to be here.
• 1:57
  I adore you.
• 1:58
  I love what you're doing in the world, and this is exciting to play with you.
• 2:03
  I love that.
• 2:03
  And that's exactly what we do.
• 2:05
  We play, we offer conversation, and we never know what nuggets of information our audience pick up on.
• 2:14
  And.
• 2:16
  Really relish in learning that, A, you're not alone.
• 2:21
  B, there's supports out there for you no matter what you're going through.
• 2:26
  Particularly as we learn how to thrive after 45 and beyond.
• 2:32
  Right?
• 2:32
  Yeah, that's so true.
• 2:34
  Right.
• 2:36
  So Juni, you have walked through the fire of dysfunctional relationships and you have emerged doing incredible transformational work with others.
• 2:47
  Could you take us back to the moment or some moment that you realize that there just had to be another way?
• 2:57
  And what shifted for you in that moment, if there's something that you can recall.
• 3:02
  Oh, I've got a moment.
• 3:05
  I've got a bunch of moments, as you said, but there was one in particular, but let me go back a little bit.
• 3:09
  Before the moment where I was in a 20 year marriage.
• 3:12
  And, you know, there was, there were things that were good and enjoyable in a lot of ways.
• 3:16
  Sure, of course.
• 3:17
  Right?
• 3:17
  You would hope.
• 3:18
  Uh, and I walked on eggshells.
• 3:21
  I was terrified of being alone.
• 3:24
  I was terrified of conflict and I micromanaged everything.
• 3:28
  And I went around with knots in my stomach on a regular basis, just not expressing myself fully.
• 3:35
  I was afraid.
• 3:36
  I was just afraid of so many things.
• 3:38
  And so as the years went on and I used food as a way to self-soothe, I got up to 200 pounds.
• 3:44
  I was miserable.
• 3:47
  I didn't realize that it wasn't a food problem, but it was a self-esteem problem.
• 3:52
  And then I happened upon this body of work called Shadow Work, which helped me see that there were unconscious patterns, there were things that I learned through the years that had me playing it really safe.
• 4:04
  I better not speak up because.
• 4:07
  The shit might hit the fan, you know?
• 4:09
  Right.
• 4:09
  I better not express myself because I might have conflict or I might be left.
• 4:14
  So that was how I managed it.
• 4:17
  And then I found this body of work and I found that deep, radical self-love that you were talking about.
• 4:23
  Right.
• 4:23
  And it changed everything.
• 4:25
  And so the marriage didn't last.
• 4:27
  Sadly.
• 4:28
  You know, we're still friends.
• 4:29
  There's still a lot of love there, but he wasn't gonna buy a ticket to the next.
• 4:33
  Chapter.
• 4:34
  And so I left the marriage and started dating and lo and behold, I went into another relationship.
• 4:41
  It seemed different.
• 4:42
  He looked different.
• 4:43
  And dang, he was not that different.
• 4:45
  And there was this one moment, it was, it was a weekend actually of.
• 4:50
  Okay.
• 4:50
  Horrible narcissistic behavior.
• 4:52
  Oh, and there he is, this six foot four giant of a man sleeping next to me, snoring away.
• 4:59
  I can't sleep, and I'm just tossing and turning thinking, how did I do this?
• 5:05
  Again, not the snoring part, but how did I do this again?
• 5:08
  How did I end up in a relationship where I was walking on eggshells and afraid to, to really fully be myself?
• 5:15
  And that's, I ended that.
• 5:16
  I broke the contract with that man and the contract with this pattern, and I dug deeply into how to do me better, how to do relationships better.
• 5:28
  I mean, I had been studying relationships.
• 5:30
  My whole life.
• 5:31
  And that was, that's been my specialty, but the self love, right?
• 5:35
  And the healthy boundaries.
• 5:36
  Mm.
• 5:36
  That was different.
• 5:38
  And then I studied the dating and all of that stuff and that's when I knew and, and I met my soulmate, all that stuff.
• 5:44
  All good stuff.
• 5:45
  And that's when I realized that we can do it differently.
• 5:48
  We can really honor ourselves differently.
• 5:51
  We can have great, healthy partners and.
• 5:54
  I really knew that I can make a difference in women's lives.
• 5:58
  I helped some guys too, but mostly women really claim this chapter of life, reinve reinvent themselves, right?
• 6:07
  Uh, so that they can truly have next level love.
• 6:10
  So that's, that's my moment of how did I do this again?
• 6:14
  And I was like, yeah, that's not happening again.
• 6:16
  Right?
• 6:17
  And I dug in, I did the work, I got a mentor to help me see the blind spots, and now I help others do the same.
• 6:24
  Right.
• 6:25
  Do, do you find or do you feel that having a mentor is.
• 6:31
  Important and why so?
• 6:33
  'cause I know a lot of women who like, I've got the book, I've got the, I do my journaling, I do the, and those are all great tools.
• 6:41
  I mean, there are great tools out there and we're li we're living in the information and that's awesome.
• 6:47
  And chat.
• 6:47
  CPT can be a great coach.
• 6:49
  There's something about being in real time with someone who's walked through the fire, who has the skillset to spot things in real time.
• 6:59
  That chat, GPT is not gonna cut it.
• 7:02
  You're gonna learn a lot.
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  I read the books, I did the workshops.
• 7:06
  That's why it was so heartbreaking that I ended up in that relat.
• 7:09
  It's like, how did I not see that?
• 7:11
  Yeah.
• 7:11
  But I had distinct unconscious patterns and deep fears that chat GPT, if I had it back then would've missed.
• 7:20
  Right.
• 7:20
  And so, yeah, I really do think it's so important.
• 7:23
  Do the work, do the journaling.
• 7:25
  Those are all amazing tools.
• 7:26
  Of course, we learned a lot about ourselves and there's something about having someone like you or me.
• 7:31
  Hold your hand and help you really break through some of those blind spots so that they never sneak up and bite you in the ass ever again.
• 7:41
  Yeah.
• 7:42
  The other thing that I like what you're saying is those blind spots, I look at it as, you can't see the forest for the trees and having somebody like yourself who is.
• 7:55
  Um, not judgmental who has walked a path.
• 8:01
  Doesn't have to be identical.
• 8:03
  But you have not only the experience, but you also have the skillset to be able to not just listen but see things differently.
• 8:13
  Yeah.
• 8:13
  And offer new ways of thinking about, because I don't know about you, but I know the women that I support, we.
• 8:23
  I, I find our conversations, I can show them the opposite side of the coin.
• 8:28
  They see it only this way.
• 8:30
  Yeah.
• 8:31
  And we can flip it and help them see all angles and then they choose what they're going to do with that information because it's their lives.
• 8:39
  Right.
• 8:40
  You said that's so well and.
• 8:42
  There's something about creating that safe, nonjudgmental place.
• 8:45
  Yeah.
• 8:46
  Because when we feel, because how many places do we really feel like we can share without somebody judging, you know?
• 8:52
  Yeah.
• 8:52
  And to have that container with someone who has walked through the fire with the tools, it's different.
• 8:57
  And with the work that I do, what's called shadow work, yeah.
• 9:00
  We are helping people see.
• 9:03
  The pattern, see the blind spots.
• 9:05
  And then with specially designed processes, we help people rewire in the unconscious mind so that they can feel stronger within themselves.
• 9:13
  So they really are different and they feel different.
• 9:17
  They feel more empowered.
• 9:18
  A lot of those affirmations and like, let's just reframe this.
• 9:23
  It's like, okay, that's really nice.
• 9:24
  I know a lot of people that go, well look at it this way or think positively, and I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 9:30
  That's only gonna take you so far.
• 9:31
  It's great to notice, but that's the first step.
• 9:34
  So to your point, it's like when you have somebody that has the skillset and helps you.
• 9:38
  See differently, and then you can go in and change the programming.
• 9:43
  Like literally update all the stuff that you've been swallowing all these decades.
• 9:49
  You are a different person.
• 9:51
  I, I don't recognize myself in all the best ways, you know?
• 9:54
  And that's what we want.
• 9:55
  We wanna be able to get to this stage of life, to be that Phoenix and to be the be best version we can be, which basically is letting go.
• 10:04
  Of the crap we've picked up along the way thinking we have to be a certain way to have a happy life.
• 10:10
  Well, we are happy when we are really honoring our truth, our heart, our expression, and we, you know, and that's the other thing about chat, GPT, I don't know if you've, yeah, I'm sure you've experienced this.
• 10:21
  I'm sure everybody's experienced this chat.
• 10:23
  G PT is very positive, isn't it?
• 10:25
  Oh, what a great question.
• 10:27
  Oh, you're on the grit, right?
• 10:28
  Track.
• 10:28
  Oh, you're doing so well.
• 10:30
  Yeah.
• 10:30
  It's like sometimes I say to chat, it's like, okay.
• 10:32
  Don't be so don't be so nice.
• 10:35
  I need you to tell me the real deal here, but get real good girl.
• 10:39
  Good girl.
• 10:40
  It's like that.
• 10:40
  I'm not gonna grow that way.
• 10:42
  Tell me, tell me the nitty gritty.
• 10:43
  So to have somebody in your court that can put a loving mirror up and go, Hey, I'm noticing.
• 10:51
  You're, you're abandoning yourself again.
• 10:53
  Let's look at that.
• 10:55
  What's that about?
• 10:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 10:58
  So much in that, so much in that I absolutely love the pieces that we, the way you put it together, and I, I love how you shared the gentle way that you give that feedback.
• 11:14
  Yeah.
• 11:14
  And it's real.
• 11:16
  And it, the work that you're doing, just like our show is about for you by you because of you.
• 11:22
  That's why you do the work you want to do.
• 11:24
  Yeah.
• 11:24
  It's not for everybody else.
• 11:26
  It's for you.
• 11:27
  Yeah.
• 11:27
  And I love your foundational pillar, which is about radical self love.
• 11:35
  Yeah.
• 11:35
  Yeah.
• 11:35
  It's.
• 11:37
  So important, and yet I find, and you might find the same, I'd love to know that women are afraid of that because when I do that, I'm being egocentric.
• 11:51
  And, and what I'm hearing is, and this is what I hear so often, is I don't wanna be selfish.
• 11:56
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:57
  I don't wanna look selfish.
• 11:59
  I know, know if I really put myself first, what will people think?
• 12:02
  And what I say to them is healthy, selfish, you know?
• 12:06
  Yeah.
• 12:06
  Of course.
• 12:07
  You know, to, to, you're good, you're.
• 12:09
  You are not gonna throw out your heart, of course.
• 12:12
  You're, you know, we want to care, we want to love.
• 12:16
  And if we abandon ourselves and say yes, when we mean no, everybody loses.
• 12:21
  And if we really want deep connection with others, then being honest you.
• 12:25
  In a loving way.
• 12:27
  'cause it's not about, no, I don't wanna do this.
• 12:29
  That's a stupid idea.
• 12:30
  That's one way of saying something to someone versus, you know, that really doesn't work for me right now.
• 12:34
  Maybe another time.
• 12:36
  What I would really like is, can we talk about it?
• 12:39
  Like, boom, suddenly people get to know you.
• 12:42
  Yeah.
• 12:42
  You have deeper connection.
• 12:44
  You're honoring yourself and inviting them into who you are.
• 12:48
  Yeah.
• 12:49
  Into me.
• 12:49
  See intimacy.
• 12:51
  So if every, if you want real deep connection and love and joy.
• 12:55
  It starts with really being radically loving to yourself.
• 13:00
  Absolutely.
• 13:01
  Yeah.
• 13:02
  Do you find that the people that you work with, your clients struggle with that, or once it starts, does it open up for them very quickly?
• 13:12
  How does that work?
• 13:13
  Share with us.
• 13:13
  Everybody's different.
• 13:14
  Different course.
• 13:15
  I think, you know, I mean, some people have had such big abuse, betrayal, um, yeah.
• 13:20
  Loss, and they're starting over.
• 13:24
  Um, yeah.
• 13:25
  Some people go right really quickly.
• 13:27
  Sure.
• 13:28
  'cause they're so ready.
• 13:29
  They're ready for the breakthrough.
• 13:30
  So everybody's different.
• 13:32
  Yeah.
• 13:32
  What I will say is that once you spot the pattern mm-hmm.
• 13:36
  And you have the safe container, like, you know, we're not talking years here.
• 13:41
  You know, some people will have a breakthrough in a couple of sessions.
• 13:44
  Some people need a few months, but we're not talking years here.
• 13:47
  We're talking.
• 13:49
  I'm talking to people that are really committed to shifting.
• 13:52
  Right.
• 13:53
  The paradigm.
• 13:54
  Because if you're not happy, if you're feeling disempowered, if you're feeling this is good enough, it's not good enough, you know?
• 14:01
  Right.
• 14:01
  So settling is.
• 14:04
  In my opinion.
• 14:05
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:06
  A safe way to be, let's stay in the comfort zone that's not so comfortable, but at least I know the territory.
• 14:12
  And to stretch the comfort zone with more knowledge, with more tools, and that's when things can change.
• 14:18
  So it's not a big, you know, knocking over the head of somebody.
• 14:21
  Right.
• 14:21
  Two by four.
• 14:22
  It's an invitation.
• 14:24
  And so it's step by step.
• 14:25
  And some people take those steps and some people start to run really quickly.
• 14:29
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:30
  Thank you for that and I, I love that you're very clear in terms there's not one size fits all.
• 14:37
  Yeah.
• 14:37
  Yeah.
• 14:38
  And nor should there be, because we're all different.
• 14:41
  There's commonality and there's threads, but the reality is we all have our own path, and that's what you bring to the table is not only your experience, but your skillset to be able to put things together in a way that makes sense for your clients, specific for their needs.
• 14:57
  Yeah.
• 14:57
  Thank you.
• 14:58
  Yeah.
• 14:58
  I'll be the first one to tell somebody if we're not a fit.
• 15:02
  You, some people are not ready to really look at why they are doing what they're doing or why they're playing a small game.
• 15:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:09
  Uh, and yeah.
• 15:10
  My specialty is self-love for people that wanna have extraordinary love in their life.
• 15:17
  So if they're looking for a relationship, if they're looking for a deeper partnership, they have to be willing to look at their side of the street because.
• 15:27
  We as human beings, love to deflect.
• 15:29
  We love to point fingers and go, he's an idiot.
• 15:32
  He's a jerk.
• 15:33
  He's a narcissist.
• 15:34
  Well, I did that for years, right?
• 15:36
  And it took me a while to go, oh, what chips did I bring to the party?
• 15:40
  'cause I allowed a lot of bad behavior.
• 15:43
  Doesn't mean he wasn't the way he was.
• 15:46
  I let a lot of things go and he was trained.
• 15:51
  To do it right on some level'cause I accepted it.
• 15:53
  Right.
• 15:53
  So this is radical honesty too.
• 15:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:57
  So to really be able to shift and have a deeper connection with others, we must be radically honest.
• 16:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:05
  And then have that radical self-love.
• 16:07
  That's when everything changes.
• 16:09
  Yeah.
• 16:09
  And I love what you're saying too, in terms of the change.
• 16:13
  It doesn't necessarily take, it takes as long as it needs to take for you.
• 16:20
  So there's no magical bullet.
• 16:21
  Yeah, exactly.
• 16:21
  I'm still going.
• 16:22
  Well, I have the man of my dreams.
• 16:25
  I have the most magnificent life.
• 16:27
  I look at it and pinch myself on a regular basis.
• 16:30
  Love it.
• 16:30
  Bruises all over my body.
• 16:32
  'cause I'm like, you know, seriously though, I absolutely love my life.
• 16:37
  And just the other day, I won't go to the details'cause it doesn't matter.
• 16:41
  Yeah.
• 16:41
  I had this, um, challenge with a dear, dear friend of mine and I was like, I have to share this with him.
• 16:47
  I'm not gonna sweep this under the rug.
• 16:49
  And he was like, I can't believe you were thinking this Junie, I love you.
• 16:53
  And I was like, well, underneath my fear was I didn't wanna disappoint him.
• 16:57
  Yeah.
• 16:57
  I didn't wanna fall short in his eyes.
• 17:00
  And we had a conversation about the fact that.
• 17:03
  I noticed that thread of, Ooh, I'm afraid of losing our friendship not to at a big extreme.
• 17:09
  And it wasn't this big monster of a, oh my God.
• 17:12
  However, right.
• 17:12
  I noticed that resistance and I was like, yeah, oh my gosh, I need to have a conversation with my friends.
• 17:18
  'cause I don't wanna sweep anything under the rug.
• 17:20
  And of course, yeah.
• 17:20
  What, what happens of deeper connection, a deeper understanding and more love for each other.
• 17:26
  Yeah.
• 17:26
  Yeah.
• 17:27
  Communication is so, so pivotal in the work that you do.
• 17:33
  Absolutely.
• 17:34
  And that honest communication, which I don't think you can get to until you have that big foundational piece of that radical self love, because you're not, you're not pretending anymore because you know your truth that you've talked about not pretending.
• 17:50
  Yeah.
• 17:51
  Yeah.
• 17:51
  And that's the wonderful thing about midlife and beyond, you know?
• 17:56
  It's one of the things that we're like, yeah, I'm not doing that anymore.
• 17:59
  Yep.
• 17:59
  Life is too short.
• 18:01
  I, you know, this is my life.
• 18:02
  I'm not playing those games anymore.
• 18:05
  Yeah.
• 18:05
  And yet, even though we intellectually say that sometimes we might be finding ourselves doing the thing again, it's like up there it is again, worrying about what will they say, what will they think, what's their opinion so we can catch it.
• 18:18
  And it can be so much more easy if we do the healing work and release it and let it go.
• 18:24
  Right.
• 18:25
  Right.
• 18:26
  Thank you so much, Junie.
• 18:28
  Your work is invaluable.
• 18:30
  I'm so blessed, so blessed to have our conversation today.
• 18:35
  I have one more question.
• 18:37
  Is there anything you would love to leave our audience with before we close up and make sure people know how to find you and know some of the things that are upcoming?
• 18:50
  Thank you.
• 18:50
  Thank you.
• 18:50
  Well.
• 18:51
  With this conversation that we're having, and I shared this with you before we went live, I have been online and I've been working with women for over 30 years, 35 at this point, right?
• 19:01
  And specifically women starting over for about the FI last 15 years.
• 19:06
  And what I've realized is.
• 19:09
  Not only do I ever reach online, I love being in person and I really wanna make a bigger impact in the world when it comes to love and relationships.
• 19:17
  Mm.
• 19:17
  So I am literally in the process of birthing my own talk show.
• 19:23
  Yeah, I know.
• 19:24
  It's so exciting.
• 19:25
  It's called Your Best Life with June Moon.
• 19:28
  It's a small audience.
• 19:29
  However, we are gonna be live streaming it.
• 19:32
  For ticket with tickets all over the world, because I want everybody to have access to it.
• 19:37
  And we are building that awareness right now.
• 19:39
  It goes live in October.
• 19:41
  We're gonna be doing giveaways, we're gonna be giving, you know, free access, um, early access for VIP, access to tickets, okay.
• 19:49
  And discounts and all those things.
• 19:51
  There's gonna be a lot of festivities leading up to this Magnificent, your best life show that has a, uh, a, a live dating.
• 19:59
  Game in it as well.
• 20:01
  So it's, it's a platform to really help people up level their life in all aspects, love and relationships.
• 20:08
  So I would absolutely love to drop my Instagram link for your best life for people to hop on over.
• 20:14
  We are just starting, but we're gonna be doing some really great things there, and you could get early access for.
• 20:21
  All the tickets and, um, and then I'll just, you know, my, my website is midlife love out loud.com.
• 20:27
  Okay.
• 20:28
  Uh, midlife love out loud is also my handle pretty much everywhere.
• 20:32
  I absolutely love helping women Yeah.
• 20:34
  Really claim this chapter on their terms full out.
• 20:38
  Uh, and so.
• 20:40
  My, my show is gonna be a biggie, and I would absolutely love to have your audience in the virtual arena with you.
• 20:46
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:48
  That is so exciting, long overdue.
• 20:52
  Thank you.
• 20:52
  It's really, it pulls it all together because I was an actress in the early part of my life, so I, I love being on stage.
• 20:59
  I love interacting with people, and now that I know how to do.
• 21:03
  Video and live, and the cameras and the lighting and oh my God, it's gonna be so much fun with amazing guests.
• 21:09
  And like I said, the ultimate match dating game, which is, oh, that's like, that gonna be so much fun in itself is a blast.
• 21:17
  I, I'm so excited.
• 21:18
  October, October.
• 21:20
  Yeah.
• 21:20
  I'm calling it Oprah meets the dating game.
• 21:24
  There you go.
• 21:25
  I love it.
• 21:26
  Sounds fantastic.
• 21:28
  No surprise there, Junie, it has been such an honor to share space with you.
• 21:34
  You've got so much to give and we will make sure all the show notes are up to date.
• 21:41
  So make sure you jump into the show notes, grab what you can There.
• 21:46
  Connect with Juni, follow her.
• 21:48
  She is not sleeping at the wheel.
• 21:52
  This woman is one busy girl.
• 21:55
  And when I connected with her, she goes, I only I can do, I could do.
• 21:59
  And she, she somehow creates, um, time and space to be here with me today.
• 22:05
  And I am so grateful for that.
• 22:06
  So thank you.
• 22:07
  Thank you.
• 22:08
  You're so welcome.
• 22:08
  I mean, balance is a thing, you know, if we really wanna have a great life, we need to have that balance and being with you.
• 22:14
  Really connects to my mission as well as my joy.
• 22:18
  Yeah, so thank you.
• 22:19
  Perfect.
• 22:21
  Make sure that you press that subscribe, follow wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 22:26
  We are on YouTube as well.
• 22:28
  Make sure that you go and do something for you by you because of you today and every single day, and make sure you subscribe.
• 22:37
  Goodbye everyone.