Latest / Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss / What Ultrasound Techs See in Pregnancy: Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Medical Red Flags

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What Ultrasound Techs See in Pregnancy: Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Medical Red Flags · Cry It Out Loud: Navigating Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant Loss & Pregnancy After Loss

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Crying Out Loud, a podcast by Chasing the Rainbows with your
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host Bernice Quisenberry. Today's episode is one that
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gives voice to a moment so many in our community will never
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forget. The moment inside the ultrasound
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room when everything changes. For many, that room is filled
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with anticipation and hope, but for some of us, it becomes the
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place where they hear the words they never imagined or feel a
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silence that says everything before anything is ever spoken.
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What many don't realize is that behind the scenes and behind
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that screen is someone else holding that moment too.
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Today we're joined by Natalie Aveny, an ultrasound
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technologist and social media influencer who is using her
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platform to share a perspective that is rarely talked about,
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what it's like to witness pregnancy loss and life changing
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diagnosis from the other side of the ultrasound.
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Natalie has cared for countless patients walking into that room
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with hope, fear, and everything in between.
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She's been present for joyful first heartbeats and for the
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devastating movements of miscarriage, still birth,
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pregnancy loss, and discovering that something may not be right
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with a pregnancy. In a role where there are strict
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boundaries around what they can and cannot do, Natalie carries
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not only the clinical responsibility of capturing
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images, but also the emotional weight of moments that stay with
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both patients and providers long after that scan even ends.
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Today we're having an honest conversation about what
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sonogrammers see and what they feel, what they wish patients
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understood, and the unspoken reality of those hardest
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moments. Natalie, thank you so much for
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being here and for helping us to bring understanding, compassion,
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and a voice to a space that many have experienced but few truly
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see. Thank you so much for having me.
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Yes, and I just can't thank you enough for being on here.
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And I would love for you to share with our listeners who you
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are, your experiences, everything.
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So I have been a stenographer for 13 years now in the Objuan
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space. But I'm also a mom of three and
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a wife, and I share everything together.
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Like, I kind of share, you know, my daily life, but also a lot
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that happens here in the room. So most of my content is at
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work. A breakdown of what I see.
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Humor, laughter, educational, real life, the sad stuff.
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And I'm sure I think this is how we came across each other that
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you probably came across one of my not so humorous and, you
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know, content that is real and raw and something that happens
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that we deal with that a lot don't see because I feel like a
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lot of patients are here in those moments.
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They're like not here anymore. Everything turns dark.
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You don't even remember what the stenographer said.
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If she was nice, if she wasn't nice, you were just told the
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worst thing. And I, I'm just happy to be here
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to kind of show another perspective.
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And I know that I can't speak for everybody.
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Just like in every career and every profession, not everyone
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is going to be as compassionate, passionate and nice.
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But it's a lot of times where we just can't be everything that we
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want to be in many scenarios that I'm just happy to show the
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raw and realness here behind everything.
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Oh, thank you, Natalie. Yeah.
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And that's what's really important, you know, is really
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that rawness realness and what you're dealing with as well.
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You know you're walking alongside lost parents as their
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journey first begins most times by getting, you know, the news
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and and things, understanding that there is a person who's
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walking alongside you there with you in that room.
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Right. To do as well, you know, to also
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protect yourself and and everything too in those moments.
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Yeah. You know, people often see
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ultrasounds as joyful moments. And I know we did until we fell
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on that bottom end of a statistic, right.
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And, you know, but you experience both joy and
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devastating loss, you know, in your career and what you do.
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What is it really like to walk into a room where you don't know
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yet if you'll be delivering good news or life changing news?
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So I can tell you I have a goosebumps while I'm talking
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about this because I remember when I first started and even
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though I know of everything that could happen, you don't realize
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how common it could be, right? So it's kind of like I remember
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starting every new OB scan with Oh my God, congratulations, have
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a seat. How are you doing?
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How are you feel like this, you know, pitchy, like, like just
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exciting And then seeing the the fact of me needing to switch and
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or just internally like like that, that pic that's just like,
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Oh my God, like you get punched in the stomach and it's like, Oh
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my God, how am I? How am I switching my toe now?
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And it got it got a lot of, I want to say a good year of
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getting used to how to navigate emotionally because I always
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share this. It really depends where you
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work. But here in the office that I'm
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in, the providers, the the the midwives and the doctors that we
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work with, they want us to tell the patient here what's
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happening here. And I know it doesn't happen
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everywhere. A lot of times, even in the
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hospital when I worked, I wasn't allowed to say a word to the
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patient, like not even turn the screen.
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It was like policy of this is it.
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But here, because I do end up telling them I have to do that
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switch of the high pitched voices excited too.
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Oh my God. So then within the years you
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learn to proceed with caution, right, Like a cautious
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excitement for the patient not to be a Debbie Downer and not to
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scare of you know, a patient by my look of like, Oh my God, why
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is she not excited yet? A lot of patients don't even
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know until it happens to them or to someone like I had my first
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pregnancy when I wasn't in the field.
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My son is almost 17. I was just chilling.
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I had no like not even a thought that I could miss Gary ever.
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So it's I know that speaking, coming from that aspect of
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having a pregnancy outside of being in the field, I can tell
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you my other two pregnancies were horrible because I knew of
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every single like mentally I was not in a good place like I was
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with my first because everything was rainbows and butterflies and
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I didn't think of anything. So knowing that some patients
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don't know of that is definitely something that you learn to
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navigate other, you know, just to proceed with being smiley,
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but not like talking about the pregnancy and plans.
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And is this the third? Is this this, you know what I
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mean? Like not not talking and hyping
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it up yet until I see that flicker, until I see the normal
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anatomy, even though, you know, I'm not doing an anatomy scan
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right now and we can't predict the future of the pregnancy at
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any point. And we all learn this,
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unfortunately. But at that moment, I see that
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everything is good and I can hype it up a little bit and I
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can be more, you know, high pitched and excited.
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So that really took time to navigate, but it's definitely
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something that, yeah. Absolutely.
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Oh, Natalie, you cut out. I.
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Learned that through that process, I will have this
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cautious excitement and I'll be smiley and I'll be, you know,
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just talking to the patient until I see that flicker.
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And that doesn't take a long time.
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I dropped the probe. I see.
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And then I could be like, OK, I can talk about everything right
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now and just be excited. And of course, we can't predict
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the future of a pregnancy until the end of it's just, you know,
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there's anatomy scans to go through and a lot of things to
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go through. But at that moment, everything
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is fine. I want to be that light.
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And I want to be that positivity to to not make her think of the
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possibilities to not, not, not that I don't want to be real.
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But it's just there's no need to deal with that right now.
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You know, everything looks good today and we can move on and
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until the next time. Yes, and be in those moments,
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right. And and you know what's
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interesting when you were sharing about, you know, your
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two pregnancies after becoming an ultrasound technician and
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everything, it is almost like, and I'm not trying to compare
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anything, but I know our pregnancies after loss.
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I completely was a whole different person in those
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pregnancies because I knew everything from knowing other
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lost parents, hearing other stories, because once you become
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the bottom end of that statistic, you know it can
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happen again. And so now we're fully aware of
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everything that can go wrong and you're not almost in that naive
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bubble anymore of a pregnancy. And now you know, so it
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approaches is a whole different thing.
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So you really do understand from your being in your profession
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and walking alongside these losses, everything that can go
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wrong. So you're also experiencing that
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with your pregnancies as well. Right.
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And I also navigate a little differently with lost moms,
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especially when I'm the one who found the last one, right?
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And then I open the door to call my patient and I know what she's
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thinking. It's that girl that gave me the
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bad news last time. I know that it doesn't come.
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It's not personal. I just know that it's like this,
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like that's the girl that told me last time.
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Or sometimes they'll mention like you told me about my loss
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last time. If you don't Remember Me, I
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like, of course I remember you and I navigate differently with
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just immediately. Like if there is an immediate
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like I get my patients knowing that I have a heartbeat
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immediately. But if I can do it even faster,
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I'll do it even faster for lost moms.
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Like I'm not wasting time. I'm just like, let's get the
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ball rolling so I can give you that confirmation so you can
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take a deep breath, right? And then just, you know,
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spending more time, even though like, you know, again, I, I, I
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am that person that does take their time.
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And that's why scanning time is so important that I have enough
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time with my patients to be compassionate and not rushed
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through it. And I feel like when there isn't
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that ability, sometimes that's also when patients think, Oh my
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God, that ultrasound tech is so rushed.
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But it's the department that's rushing her.
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It's the policy in the office that's scheduling you every 10
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to 15 minutes instead of giving you 30.
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It's there's a, there's a reason why a sonographer might be like
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rushing and maybe seem like stressed because that could be
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the reality. She has to grab the next one.
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That's, you know, waiting for a while because she's behind.
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So there's a lot of things that come, you know, again, I'm not
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defending rude sonographers because I feel like that exists
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everywhere in every career, but just know that sometimes there's
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it looks like there's no personality because we're just
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go go, go. But with lost moms I'm.
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Yeah. I'm there extra, I don't care.
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Oh, Natalie, and that means the world, you know, 'cause you're
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walking alongside them and their losses and your understanding
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too, which is huge that you could be a potential trigger for
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them, right? Because they had, they were in
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your room last time they were with you.
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And for you to take that level of care, yes like you just you
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understand and having that is is huge.
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Right. And and when it is good news, I
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feel like I've corrected her experience.
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You know, I'm like, I did good this time.
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I gave you good results, better ultrasound experience in
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general, and yeah. Did you get to walk alongside
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them then right throughout? The whole time, yeah.
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Yeah. And not just in that other in
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their loss. Yeah, absolutely.
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And you know, that is so important to understand.
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You know, also sometimes unfortunately, because sometimes
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you're giving more bad news in one day than good news.
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And so you need to compartmentalize as well.
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So you're not as emotional as the patients are and things like
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that, you know and, and understanding that as well
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because you're there from the very beginning with the
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patients. Exactly.
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It's so important to like kind of decompress before grabbing
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the next one. And that's why again, timing is
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so important for us that we always continue to fight for it.
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And it's not possible everywhere because I just told someone the
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worst news and I don't want to come in with that face for a
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person that's doing great today, you know, and the other way
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around, like sometimes I can go just fast-paced because
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everything is like fine, fine, fine, fine.
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And then wait. I have, I have a loss.
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I need time. I need to deal with this right
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now. Like I'm not gonna let her go
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back to the waiting room. I'm gonna have her stay here in
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this room until the doctor can come and discuss.
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Cuz I'm not letting her sit in the waiting room with a bunch of
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pregnant, you know, women that are out there right now and
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happy, happy joy, joy, you know, so.
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Yeah, exactly. And recognizing that is huge
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because you're right. And that's something that, you
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know, is talked about a lot in our support groups is that
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they're put into a room, even waiting, you know, or depending
12:59
on what's going on with them. And they're seeing all these
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joyful people holding their pictures, all of those things
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while they're sitting there, not knowing if there's something
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wrong before they even get scanned, but knowing or feeling
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like something could be wrong. And then they get that news, you
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know, it's all just so it's a lot.
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And right on top of what else you're navigating in pregnancy.
13:19
Right. And there needs to be a priority
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for these patients. I feel like there should be a
13:25
priority. And yes, I can tell you here,
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I've been working for the same office for 13 years.
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I mean, different locations were the same people, the same
13:31
providers. And I can tell you that there is
13:35
a huge urgency if she's about to see someone, if one of the
13:38
midwives is about to see someone.
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But I'm dealing with a loss that comes first.
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And that has to be, we can't look at a patients like, you
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know, a number or robots or it's it's not, it's just we have to
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deal with every case differently.
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And the same goes with the patient.
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Like I handle every single loss differently because you have to
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learn to read the patient. Not every patient wants a hug.
14:03
Not every patient wants to talk a lot right now.
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Not a lot of patient wants to be, you know, held or spoken.
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Like sometimes they just want to say, OK, there's no heartbeat,
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OK, Like sometimes it's their third time.
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They don't want more of the mushy, mushy.
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Like they're already on a on a mission to get pregnant.
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That's not successful. OK, just shush, let me move on,
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deal with this. And it's just different.
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And some patients need that. It's their first time.
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They want to be hugged, they want to be held.
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They have nobody with them today.
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So I'm their support person all of a sudden.
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Yes, exactly. And especially during COVID, you
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know, when there was only one person in the room and it was
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you, you know the one. Yes, yes.
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Or they're already moms and they're partners with the babies
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and they can't come, you know, together like it is with the
14:53
first so and, and nobody thinks that something could happen.
14:57
No, I'm just coming for an ultrasound, not thinking that
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that could be something that they might need support for.
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Absolutely, Yeah. Now, Natalie, do you also, you
15:08
know, just talking through, sometimes the only thing we get
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are pictures or our medical records to say that validates
15:17
that we were pregnant and, you know, with a baby and things
15:20
like that. Do you find in those moments
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that the people that would want that to remember this baby by
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still want the pictures even if the baby has passed?
15:32
Same thing as far as like how they react.
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I feel like it's the same thing. Some do and some don't.
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Yeah, some want ask me to turn the TV off.
15:43
Some do want to see it. Some, you know, for our new
15:46
pregnancy, they don't want the TV on they that triggers them
15:49
because they don't know what what I'm going to see you and
15:52
I'm going to drop the pro. But I always get the option and
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I make it seem like in a way of like it's normal if you don't
16:03
want to see, you know, because I don't want her to feel weird for
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not wanting to see. So I'm like totally up to you.
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Some do, some don't like I completed like do you want
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these? Totally understand if you don't
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want them. I just wanted to give you the
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option. And if she's not sure, I'm like,
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I'm going to keep them aside. If you ever want them reprinted,
16:21
we can reprint it because sometimes patients leave angry
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like angry like because why is this happening to me?
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What did I do wrong? Or that they can't think or make
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a decision even as far as like grabbing the pictures.
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So. Absolutely.
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You got to you got to just let them understand that it's normal
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because the last thing you want them to do is go home and feel
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judged. Like, oh crap, I was so mean to
16:45
this person. Or oh, I should have grabbed the
16:47
pictures. Now I look like a bad mom or I
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should, you know, just stuff completely normal.
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There's no way of grieving. There's no right or wrong way of
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handling this at all. So.
16:59
But even having the option to be able to get your pictures later
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and educating them on that because you're right in those
17:04
moments, well, if it feels like you're having an outer body
17:06
experience, like you're looking down on that.
17:09
And like I remember I could not hear.
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I could not speak. I didn't know what to say or
17:14
what. Like I was like, what is
17:15
happening? And I swear people would talk to
17:18
me like and say it different ways and a few people and I
17:21
still couldn't hear and like, it's just it was a lot to take
17:24
on. But then later shut down would
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go back. Yes, your body just goes like
17:28
fight or flight, right? And like in those moments, but
17:32
recognizing that if eventually you want these, but you don't
17:35
need to have them, you know, and, and feeling that from the
17:38
person who's doing it too, because that shame, blame and
17:41
guilt that we do that game that like is played in our head from
17:44
those immediate moments with like, what did I do wrong?
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How could I prevented this? Like, what could I do more of?
17:50
And, and then you're right, like getting home.
17:53
Like sometimes we question things, we go and Google deep
17:55
dives about it. But then to know like, oh, I can
17:57
call them and get those pictures if I decide to, you know, when
18:00
I'm ready to go back into that office or ever or have them
18:03
mailed to me. But even understand that is huge
18:06
just because, like I said, we don't get a lot of those
18:09
memories or recognition of our babies if we want them.
18:13
Sometimes it's, you know, some baby loss survivors really need
18:16
to compartmentalize. They and one day they may want
18:19
to compartmentalize, the other day they may not.
18:21
But they, you know, some of them we look at and they say, you
18:24
know, I look at this as a chemical pregnancy and that's
18:26
what I'm calling it. I don't want to call it a baby.
18:28
And it's like that's where they're at.
18:30
But then others, you know, want the recognition.
18:33
And so it's really important, Natalie, that you're
18:35
understanding that though, and that you walk alongside them in
18:37
those moments. Yes, cuz I've seen all of those
18:41
things you listed. Some can just take it
18:45
differently and some don't want and I think it really is a
18:49
personality. Find myself as an overthinker
18:53
like if I can have a situation right now trust me I will have 6
18:58
different analyzations for you of what this could be.
19:01
But someone else I have a friend like it's just black and white
19:06
and and if God, I know that if God forbid she would ever have
19:10
something like that, she would be able to rationalize it and
19:12
make it as simple as possible. For her.
19:16
Right. So it's kind of like, I want to
19:18
think of that as like I can scan a blighted ovum.
19:20
A blighted ovum. There's no baby in the SAC yet.
19:24
It's just the the body to simplify it.
19:26
The body prepared itself for a pregnancy and created that SAC,
19:30
but nothing grew in it. I can have someone say OK, cool,
19:34
what can I do? Like, and I can have someone
19:36
sobbing because they had the idea of them being pregnant.
19:39
They have a pregnancy test that's positive they are
19:42
pregnant, but nothing developed further.
19:44
It's a form of a miscarriage. It is a miscarriage.
19:47
But some, you know, some patients can look at it
19:50
completely different and that's why reading the room is
19:53
important. If someone decides to simplify
19:55
it, I'm game. I'm not.
19:57
I am not letting you think differently.
19:59
I support your thought. Go for it.
20:02
You're going to see the doctor and then you know they're going
20:04
to be able to handle and tell you how to treat it.
20:07
If it's taking a pill, sometimes it does need AD and C.
20:09
It just depends. But if that's your train of
20:12
thought, I'm supporting you because I'm actually proud of
20:16
you for for being able to simplify it and to rationalize
20:19
because I couldn't do it. And maybe that's why I'm so
20:21
compassionate about this scenario because I, I never had
20:25
a miscarriage. I never had a loss, but my
20:27
sister did and a lot of my friends did.
20:30
And I always and I always talk about because even as their
20:33
ultrasound tech, it was so hard to deal with it and to be the
20:36
one to be like, I can't see what I want to see and to find the
20:41
words to someone you know is. But yeah, you know, so they want
20:48
you to do the scans, of course, because they want you to be a
20:50
part of their journey and and the ways we can, Natalie.
20:54
And I'm happy to be there because I'm happy that it was me
20:58
that was able to be there as their support person at the same
21:01
time too, you know, I'm not happy that, you know, this was
21:05
the scenario. I would love to have a different
21:07
kind of outcome, but in a way, imagine them going somewhere
21:11
else. And then I wish it was Natalie
21:13
who found it or, you know, there's also a positive about
21:16
that. But yeah, some patients just
21:18
take it differently. And I'm supportive about it no
21:20
matter what because. Right.
21:23
Well, and a lot of times you're meeting your ultrasound tech in
21:25
the same breath, like you barely know them.
21:27
You're not building a report yet until you're really like getting
21:29
into the scanning, then you're building more of a conversation.
21:33
So really, unless they've scanned you before or you've
21:36
known them and they're like in your private clinic and things
21:38
like that, it really is, you know, with, with someone who is
21:43
just an acquaintance and, you know, and then depending on how,
21:48
you know, things happen and reactions and things like that.
21:51
Yeah, I, I think it would be better to be with someone that I
21:54
know who is part of our support system and support team that
21:59
we've had. But I think that's also too, you
22:01
know, important if you can control it to have, you know,
22:05
your your team of people who know you and including your
22:09
ultrasound tech, you know, and being able to request them are
22:12
ones that are able to give you. Like for me, I'm the type of
22:15
person like, I would need the news immediately if something
22:17
was wrong. So I would want to go into an
22:20
office knowing that that could be a possibility to be with
22:23
somebody who can do that. And you can find that out.
22:26
I mean, when you first have your initial appointment here,
22:28
whatever it may be, you can ask the doctor, like, is there any
22:31
way that the sonographer can give me the results?
22:34
Or if, if you can come in the room, I need it.
22:36
And that's why I always like, you know, from being a creator
22:39
and reading comments, I see a lot of the things that happen
22:43
and a lot of people don't understand that they can ask for
22:47
things. A lot of times we can't assume
22:50
that this is what you need, right?
22:52
So from coming from the professional, I, I'm telling all
22:56
patients, it doesn't hurt to ask for whatever.
22:59
Ask me for coffee. I don't care what it is.
23:02
The randomest things ask me because maybe it's an easy yes,
23:07
maybe by asking the the doctor, do you mind being in the
23:10
ultrasound room while they scan? Because I'm terrified of this
23:14
happening again or whatever it is.
23:18
And if they can't support you and if you can't find that, that
23:21
team where the ultrasound tech is going to give you the results
23:25
there and that's what you need, change your doctor.
23:29
There are a lot of different doctors that might, it might not
23:32
be the what's familiar to you, but sometimes change is good.
23:35
Sometimes you think you have the best team until you hear other
23:38
people talking about other things that they're going
23:41
through and stories like, Oh my God, my doctor did this, my
23:43
midwife did this. And then you're like, wait, mine
23:45
didn't. And I'm not here to, you know,
23:47
bash or whatever, just just to be that support person to tell
23:51
you if you're not getting what you need, change it if you feel
23:55
like you should. Nobody can always guess what you
23:58
need or what your needs are. It's like a lot.
23:59
I feel like patient care is also a relationship and, and a love
24:03
language. I might scan someone who doesn't
24:06
want to talk at all and I can just read it.
24:08
And I, I'm fine with that. And sometimes I feel like, Oh my
24:11
God, I wish you could just like talk to make this more
24:14
comfortable for you just so I can talk with, but that's not
24:17
what they want and they want to just so you kind of just have to
24:21
find what, especially after a loss on your rainbow baby to
24:25
make this the best, the best experience really so.
24:30
Absolutely and educate to advocate for yourself, right?
24:33
And like absolutely say, not say or ask for, but it is so
24:37
important your life and your baby's life are in your doctor's
24:41
hands. And really, you know, it was
24:44
interesting just after, you know, our pregnancies after loss
24:47
and hearing from our doctors are like you listen, you hire us,
24:50
right? You choose us to walk alongside
24:52
of you. We are part of your care team.
24:55
Like we care about you. Like we honor this, you know,
24:58
journey that you selected us. I think understanding like, oh,
25:02
we selected you like and you're going to walk alongside of us
25:05
and that you are our like, you know, our lives are in your
25:08
hands that that is such an important decision to make in
25:13
your life because of something and you know, we experienced it.
25:16
Something goes completely wrong and delivery and things like
25:19
that, that you have that team that you're like, I trust
25:21
exactly what they're doing. They know our plans, they know
25:23
exactly what we want, what we don't want, and they're ready to
25:26
move on it, right? It's a whole different thing,
25:30
right? Right.
25:32
That's so important. But I just can't thank you
25:35
enough, you know, for explaining this, like what, you know, what
25:38
happens in the room, you know, the level of care and compassion
25:43
that you take with the patients, especially lost parents and
25:47
walking alongside of them and also letting them lead.
25:50
That is one of the biggest things we discussed with medical
25:52
providers is going off of the the parents.
25:56
For sure, for sure. I feel like it's, it also helps
26:00
the providers I feel because there's no guessing games of
26:03
what you look forward to, what you expect, what you prefer, not
26:07
prefer. Like it's it's helping everybody
26:10
together. So definitely think it's all a
26:12
collaborative work with everybody in the team.
26:15
So true. Yeah.
26:17
If you could change one thing about how pregnancy loss and
26:22
difficult diagnosis are handled in the ultrasound room, what
26:25
would it be? I would want that one rule where
26:31
sonographers cannot always give results to change.
26:37
I would want every office to be run in a way where I'm not
26:41
saying I'm giving them a detailed report and dealing with
26:45
what's going to happen next. And what are either the steps of
26:47
just just giving them reassurance or letting them know
26:51
that something is wrong without the wondering.
26:53
Because online I see that a lot where patients are like my, my
26:58
sonographer was so mean, she couldn't tell me anything.
27:01
And the understanding of it's really it really depends on the
27:04
office policy. Something could lose their job
27:08
if they say anything like in the hospital, there's no way there's
27:12
no way that I could have even showed the patient something.
27:15
So if that one specific coming from a stenographer, that one
27:20
specific thing to be changed where every the doctor's office
27:25
would be like, you know what, we have to establish a trust
27:28
because it does come with experience.
27:30
So you know where we maybe in the first couple months we can
27:34
see how that goes. But then giving them as a
27:38
sonographer, I can tell you we either see a heartbeat or we
27:40
don't. And that's why because I
27:42
understand that that every, it's, it's not, I'm never going
27:46
to call our job easy, but something as letting you know if
27:49
I see a heartbeat or not. We are the ones who are going to
27:52
tell the doctor right now that we don't see it or see it.
27:55
So just giving us that, that ability, because I feel so
28:00
fortunate that I have that, that my doctors allow that and my
28:02
midwife's allow it. And because I get to be that
28:07
person for the patient and immediate, like an immediate
28:10
support person immediately to let them know what's going on.
28:13
And that's what I wish could change with dealing with that.
28:18
Really, it's so true, though, because it could be minutes or
28:21
even 1520 thirty minutes until the doctor comes in from the
28:25
time. Yes, which is like hours, right?
28:29
And just like it's grueling. They're sitting there spinning
28:32
out like what is happening? What is going on?
28:34
Especially if there was silence. Just like, oh, I'll be back and
28:37
then like. Oh my God, the I'll be back.
28:40
Yes. You know, even sometimes like
28:42
when we need a second set of eyes on something to do with a,
28:45
you know, anatomy, You know, we do see abnormalities with
28:49
fetuses all the time. And we, we establish a thing
28:53
where, you know, if something is a little more challenging just
28:56
to bring the other stenographer to, you know, and I always even
29:00
that I communicate, everything's just letting you know, here's
29:03
the heartbeat, here's this. Just so they don't think that
29:06
it's something to do with that. I just need the sonographer to
29:09
come and take a second look at these pictures just so to make
29:12
sure that I got the right picture.
29:13
Now, I've been doing this for 13 years.
29:16
The patients don't know this. And it's kind of reassuring
29:19
where I'm not coming up as like, cuz maybe I'm just like an
29:22
inexperienced tech and I just want someone to come and look at
29:25
it. You know, I'm not giving it as
29:27
a, oh, something's wrong. But I feel like just even
29:30
communicating that, that second that I'm leaving and coming back
29:34
with another tech is like what's happening, you know?
29:38
So communicating that is also important that I just need a
29:43
second eye because like you said, waiting, going and come
29:46
back with the doctor is. Yes, absolutely.
29:51
Yeah. Yes, if there's anything that
29:55
you would like to leave our listeners with, I would love for
29:58
you to share with them. Yes.
30:01
I just want everyone to know that we as a whole, coming from
30:05
the sonography community, we have so much love and so much
30:11
compassion. And even if we can't show it,
30:14
sometimes it's there. Sometimes a lot of sonographers
30:17
are overworked and they don't even have and it's sad that they
30:21
don't even have the chance to be extra compassionate because they
30:24
don't have the support at their workplace.
30:27
And I want to direct it because it's not always.
30:29
And again, not defending every stenographer, A personality is a
30:32
personality. Some people are dry, some people
30:35
don't have emotions and they might be in the wrong field
30:38
absolutely, but just know the majority of it to lead with, oh,
30:42
that stenographer probably can't tell me anything because she'll
30:45
lose her job versus she's so mean.
30:48
She can't even tell me what's going on.
30:50
Like just to understand that we're there for you, rooting for
30:53
you and like a lot of times we can't do much, but I don't, I
30:58
don't stop thinking about a lot of my patients with loss and
31:01
know that you're within our hearts.
31:03
Like we carry you for a while. I follow up, I want to see what
31:07
ended up happening if you ended up miscaring on your own or if
31:10
you needed to do surgery. I follow up, even though I can't
31:13
pick up the phone and talk to you, I follow your journey and I
31:17
make sure that just know that that that that's the case.
31:20
So. Natalie, thank you so much for
31:26
everything today. Thank you so much to have you.
31:30
Thank you for having me. Yes, to everyone listening who
31:33
may be navigating infertility, reoccurrent pregnancy loss,
31:36
miscarriage, still birth, infant loss, please know this.
31:39
Your story matters, your baby matters and your grief matters.
31:42
Healing doesn't follow a timeline.
31:44
Trauma and loss don't have a schedule, and you deserve
31:46
compassionate care through every step of this journey.
31:49
At Chase and Rainbows, we provide free daily support
31:51
services in a community for families impacted by these
31:54
losses. Because every loss matters.
31:57
If this conversation resonated with you, please share this
32:00
episode with someone who may need it.
32:02
And if you are looking for support, want to
32:04
volunteerdonateorhostaneventyoucanlearnmore@chaseandrainbows.org. Thank you for being here, for
32:09
listening and continuing to break the silence around these
32:12
traumatic losses. Until next time, this is cried
32:15
out loud. Thanks again, Natalie.
32:17
Thank you.