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Donald Drumpf Theatre: Stuck in the Middle with the Felon President-Elect · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's time again for Donald.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: Drunk.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Theater.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: No one knows what is up or down.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: Jack or white.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: Legal or impeachable.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_03: Everything is made believe in Donald.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: Drunk.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: Theater.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: So let's pull the curtain back.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: We are controlling transmission if we wish to make it louder.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: We will bring up the body.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 0:33
  You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,
• 0:36
  of things and ideas.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into...
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it's fake news, but maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's fake news, okay?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: Now, would I do that?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 1:04
  The president of the United States has the authority to do what
• 1:07
  the president has
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: the authority to do.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've declared myself as king.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: I learned a lot from Richard Nixon.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: I could cause panic much better than even you.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: I could do much.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: I would make you look like a minor league player.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I would, Kent.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the resistance.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you for the remainder of the next four years,
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: I will only speak to you in this tone of voice.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Can our government be competent?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Jimmy Carter says yes Jimmy Carter says yes Can our government be honest?
• 2:03
  Jimmy Carter says yes Jimmy Carter says yes Can our government
• 2:10
  be decent and open?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: As the 39th president, he has spoken, yes.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Jimmy Carter says yes.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: Let's kick things off with a historic day in Washington,
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: D.C.,
• 2:26
  where former President Jimmy Carter's funeral was being held in
• 2:29
  the Washington
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: National Cathedral.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And look,
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how you measure the life of a man,
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: whether through their personal accomplishments or the lives they touch,
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: but if you measure a life by the VIP guest list at your funeral...
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: then Jimmy Carter was a pimp.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Funeral services fit for a president.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Today's funeral service bringing together five living presidents.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Bill Clinton,
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: George W.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Bush,
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Barack Obama,
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Joe Biden,
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: and Donald Trump to honor Carter,
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: the longest-lived commander-in-chief.
• 3:02
  Wow,
• 3:03
  that is incredibly rare to have five American presidents in the
• 3:07
  same room together.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: And even rarer to have Donald and Melania in the same room together.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: Kudos to President Carter.
• 3:16
  And it seemed pretty uncomfortable that they all had to sit
• 3:19
  next to Donald Trump.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about the history there.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Trump tried to put her in prison,
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: accused him of murder,
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: said he was the secret Muslim founder of ISIS,
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: said she was pretending to be black,
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: and did his entire family dynasty,
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_03: almost got him murdered,
• 3:42
  tried to overthrow his presidency and paid off a porn star
• 3:46
  behind her back.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, basically all of them have said that he's Hitler.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: Here I am, stuck in the middle.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump has not even taken office yet,
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: and the MAGA movement has broken out into a civil war,
• 4:34
  with Elon Musk threatening to go to war against his MAGA
• 4:38
  critics and Steve Bannon
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: calling Musk evil.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yes,
• 4:41
  I'm stuck in the middle with you And I'm wondering what it is I
• 4:47
  should do It's so
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: hard to keep the smile from my face Losing toe,
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: yeah
• 4:57
  Let's get into another installment of Trump 2.0 coming for the
• 5:07
  White House.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to come.
• 5:12
  So Donald Trump becomes president on Monday,
• 5:15
  and that means,
• 5:17
  I know,
• 5:19
  I hate Mondays too.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: but it means we're invading Greenland on Tuesday,
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: so...
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: We know very little about what Trump's second term will be like,
• 5:29
  given that he has no fixed principles or core beliefs or
• 5:32
  coherent ideas or
• 5:34
  constructive solutions or plans or proposals or policies or
• 5:37
  values or thoughts of
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: any kind.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: He watches TV, and then he screen posts about what he just saw on TV.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: He's basically an intellectual Roomba.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_03: He goes in one direction until he bumps into something,
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: and then he just goes off into another direction.
• 5:55
  You're a self-made man And you're fancy,
• 6:01
  you're gone crawling Slap you,
• 6:03
  I'm a bag and say
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: One thing we do know for sure is that there will be a lot of fighting,
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: because MAGA loves to fight.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_03: Democrats lecture each other.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: Republicans fight each other.
• 6:20
  There was fighting almost immediately after Trump won the
• 6:23
  election when Republicans
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: rebelled against his first pick for Attorney General Matt Gaetz.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Then they started sniping about how annoying co-president Elon Musk was.
• 6:31
  They broke out in a knife fight over Cabinet appointments and
• 6:34
  had public blow-ups.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: Over leaks to the press,
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_03: they nearly shut down the government during a fight over spending,
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: after which they almost toppled their own speaker,
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Mike Johnson.
• 6:42
  But then they all calmed down and got on the same page and put
• 6:46
  their differences
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_03: aside for the good of the country.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just kidding.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_03: They're at each other's throats.
• 6:50
  The political civil war already threatening to tear apart
• 6:54
  Trump's grip on the Republican Party.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's one that pits Elon Musk against Steve Bannon.
• 6:59
  It started with a Christmas Day post by Musk on his ex-platform
• 7:03
  saying that the
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: United States needs to quickly let in more foreign workers,
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: specifically highly educated engineers,
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: to work for American tech companies.
• 7:13
  Musk hit back on his pro-Trump critics with a series of
• 7:16
  profanity-laced posts saying,
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: I will go to war on this issue,
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: the likes of which you cannot possibly comprehend.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: That outburst prompted Steve Bannon to hit back at Musk saying,
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: someone please notify Child Protective Services,
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_03: need to do a wellness check on this toddler.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Quote, I will have Elon Musk run out of here by inauguration day.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: He will not have a blue pass to the White House.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: He will not have full access to the White House.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: He'll be like any other person.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: He is a truly evil guy, a very bad guy.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: I made it my personal thing to take this guy down.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know,
• 7:52
  I'm really trying my best to find joy wherever I can amidst the
• 7:55
  darkness of a Trump presidency.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: So let me just say, I'm really enjoying this.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: I mean,
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: Elon Musk and Steve Bannon fighting finally answers the question,
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: is there anything Republicans won't blame on wokeness?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: Because the woke's hands are clean on this one.
• 8:19
  make some sense of it all but i can see it makes no sense at
• 8:24
  all is it cool to go
• 8:27
  to sleep on the floor the only thing that i can take anymore
• 8:34
  clowns to the left of
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: me jokers to
• 8:40
  Elon Musk thought he could buy his way into MAGA with his
• 8:42
  billions of dollars,
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: but now that Trump won,
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: Bannon and his ilk can basically say,
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: shut up,
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: nerd.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: Also, go buy a bigger T-shirt.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: Your belly's showing when you do your little ops.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: Elon Musk is learning a lesson sports fans already know.
• 8:55
  Just because you're loyal to a team doesn't mean a team will be
• 8:57
  loyal to you.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: But I bought the hat.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody cares, bro.
• 9:14
  This all started at the end of last year when Elon Musk and
• 9:17
  fellow tech bro Vivek
• 9:18
  Ramaswamy defended using what are known as H-1B visas to bring
• 9:23
  in foreign workers
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: at tech companies,
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: which sparked a backlash among hardline immigration opponents.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_03: This feud has quickly evolved into a referendum on American workers.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Elon Musk claiming America needs more highly skilled immigrants to win.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: saying,
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: if you force the world's best talents to play for the other side,
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: America will lose.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_03: End of story.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: Vivek Ramaswamy,
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: Musk's cohort in their Department of Government Efficiency,
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: coming to Musk's defense and posting on X,
• 9:52
  our American culture has venerated mediocrity over excellence
• 9:56
  for way too long.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Adding,
• 9:58
  a culture that celebrates the prom queen over the math Olympiad
• 10:02
  champ or the jock
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: over the valedictorian will not produce the best engineers.
• 10:08
  A culture that venerates Cory from Boy Meets World or Zack and
• 10:11
  Slater over Screech
• 10:13
  in Saved by the Bell or Stefan over Steve Urkel in Family
• 10:17
  Matters will not produce
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: the best engineers.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: Does Vivek Ramaswamy think Donald Trump is Team Screech?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_03: Does Vivek Ramaswamy think for one second,
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: if given a choice between Steve Urkel and Stefan Urkel,
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: Donald Trump doesn't Urkel it 100 times out of 100?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: The point is,
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: those tweets drove Bannon and the Hardline Magarite out of their minds,
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: and now Bannon is going all out against Musk.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: This is central to how they gutted the middle class in this country.
• 10:46
  And we haven't fought these battles over years and years and
• 10:49
  years to allow
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: American citizens of every race,
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: ethnicity,
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_03: Religion, be gutted.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: by the sociopathic overlords in Silicon Valley.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: We're not doing that.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_03: We're not doing that.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_03: We're not having rule by nerds.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, tough guy?
• 11:05
  You're gonna go to war on the likes of which you cannot
• 11:08
  possibly comprehend.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: You're a man-child, to be blunt.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_03: Screw you, you clown.
• 11:16
  Don't come up and go to the pulpit in your first week here and
• 11:19
  start lecturing
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: people about the way things are gonna be.
• 11:22
  If you're gonna do that,
• 11:23
  we're gonna get and we're gonna rip your face off.
• 11:38
  Former Trump adviser Steve Bannon criticized Elon Musk in an
• 11:43
  interview with an
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: Italian newspaper last week and said,
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what they say,
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: the enemy of my enemy is my friend,
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: unless it's Steve Bannon.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: That's right,
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: Bannon told an Italian newspaper that he would have Elon Musk,
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: quote,
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: run out of the MAGA movement by Inauguration Day.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, he runs out on his own, said his kids.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
• 12:20
  Trump is just caught in the middle between the MAGA diehards
• 12:23
  who form his base and
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: the rich oligarchs who helped get him elected,
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: and he doesn't even really know what the hell they're talking about.
• 12:30
  He's taken every single side of this issue while also making it
• 12:33
  clear he has no
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: idea what he's talking about.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in favor of people coming into this country legally.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: They can have it any way you want.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_03: You can call it visas.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: You can call it work permits.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: You can call it anything you want.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: As far as the visas are concerned, if we need people, it's fine.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm changing.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: I'm changing.
• 12:54
  We need highly skilled people in this country,
• 12:56
  and if we can't do it,
• 12:58
  we'll get them in.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: But, but, and we do need, in Silicon Valley, we absolutely have to have.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: I know the H-1B very well,
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_03: and it's something that I frankly use,
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: and I shouldn't be allowed to use,
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: we shouldn't have it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: Very, very bad for workers.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: I know the H-1B, I know the H-2B, nobody knows it better than me.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: I know H1B,
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: I know H2B,
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: I know B2B,
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know 2B or not to be,
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: and that really is,
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: frankly,
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: the question in many ways.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Whether tis nobler, nobody says tis anymore.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody says tis, and it's sad we don't say tis.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_03: Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows,
• 13:37
  and I've suffered maybe more than any president when it comes
• 13:42
  to the slings and the arrows.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: People say Lincoln, but he was bullet, and I...
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: I remember a playwright came up to me once,
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: big playwright,
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_03: British playwright,
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: tears running down his face and under his big white collar,
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: and he said to me,
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: he said,
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: sir,
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_03: they make you suffer,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: sir,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: and tis,
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: tis a shame.
• 14:08
  This is what happens when an oligarch tries to buy their way
• 14:11
  into a reactionary
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: movement for their own self-interest.
• 14:13
  We're watching a volatile mist of power-hungry billionaires and
• 14:16
  true believers.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's like watching someone jump into the leopard cage at the zoo.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_03: You can try to befriend the leopards all you want,
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: but eventually those leopards are gonna...
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: Rip your face off.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: We're less than a week away from Trump's inauguration.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: And I know,
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: I know,
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: I know,
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_03: I know,
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: as much as I'm not looking forward to it,
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: waiting for it,
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: it is just so tense.
• 14:47
  It feels like we're all James Bond strapped to the table and
• 14:50
  the laser is slowly
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: inching toward our crotch.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, enough about your evil plot to conquer Greenland.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: Just zap America's jump off already.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: In anticipation of the inauguration,
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: high anti-scale fencing is being placed around the Capitol.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's the most fencing ever put up for inauguration, 30 miles.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: I owe him an apology.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: He did build the wall.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's only fair.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a big enough man.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: for those of you who have forgotten why the fencing might be necessary,
• 15:29
  this morning the DOJ released Special Prosecutor Jack Smith's
• 15:33
  final report on
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: Trump's January 6th election interference.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: Boom!
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_03: When people find out what Trump did,
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: his chances of being reelected two months ago are gonna be pretty slim.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_03: Okay?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: The report has a bold claim in it.
• 15:51
  Smith says if Donald Trump hadn't won the presidential election
• 15:55
  in November,
• 15:56
  the Justice Department would have had ample evidence to convict
• 15:59
  him at trial.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's all true.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: And you can see it dramatized in the new Marvel series.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: What if anything mattered anymore?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: But despite,
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: despite enough evidence for a conviction,
• 16:13
  Smith can't move ahead with this case because Justice
• 16:15
  Department regulations
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: prohibit the prosecution of a sitting president,
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: which is obviously insane.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: A president should be bound by the same laws as everyone else.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: That's what makes them... Yes.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, citizen.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: That's what makes them a president and not a king.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: No more king.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Unfortunately,
• 16:40
  this may be the last we hear from the special counsel because
• 16:43
  over the weekend,
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: Jack Smith resigned.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: despite the threats,
• 16:47
  he can't go into witness protection because no one can think of
• 16:50
  a more generic name
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: than Jack Smith.
• 16:52
  And we got
• 16:56
  Special counsel today released his report on Trump's effort to
• 16:59
  overturn the results
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: of the election in 2020.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's a mountain of evidence.
• 17:04
  Details the unconstitutional and criminal behavior we all
• 17:08
  already knew he did when
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: we reelected him.
• 17:11
  The special counsel uncovered so much evidence they had to
• 17:14
  split the report into
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: two volumes,
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: like Cher's autobiography.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_03: And yet nothing will come of it.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, they're throwing parties next week.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're now less than a week away from Trump's return to office.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: And we're getting details about the festivities.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: Trump will attend not one but three balls and a parade.
• 17:31
  They announced that Trump's famous garbage truck will be part
• 17:33
  of the parade.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't think of a better metaphor for the next four years than that.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: So this morning,
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: in what many legal,
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_03: many respected legal scholars are calling a tapestry of justice,
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: I was sentenced to no jail time,
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: no probation,
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: nothing really.
• 17:55
  But I will enter the White House in the greatest political
• 18:00
  comeback of all time as
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: a felon president,
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: which is a real disgrace and shows you
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_03: How nasty the radical left is in trying to destroy my presidency.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: Now, first, let's talk about this judge, Mershon.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay?
• 18:20
  Now,
• 18:21
  nobody squared up the fact that he had a daughter,
• 18:23
  Natalie Mershon,
• 18:25
  who was part of a...
• 18:26
  Radical left group,
• 18:28
  terrorist group some might say,
• 18:30
  could be 10,000 maniacs.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: Does that sound nice?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: They were a lot worse than ISIS and Antifa put together.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: But nobody wants to talk about this radical left judge and his
• 18:43
  Maniac daughter who obviously probably have no love for me as
• 18:48
  their president,
• 18:49
  but that's okay.
• 18:50
  That's okay We're gonna get this out people are gonna learn the
• 18:54
  truth social on my
• 18:55
  website truth social but on top of that we have Me going into
• 19:03
  the White House as a
• 19:04
  felon and I tried to as you see my flag behind me Francine the
• 19:09
  flag we call her and
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: I
• 19:12
  This morning I tried to,
• 19:13
  you know how I sort of grope and dry hump flags when I see them?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: I couldn't even climax today.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: Francine the flag said to me, sir, is something wrong?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: Usually I'm covered in presidential goo by now.
• 19:27
  And I said,
• 19:27
  Francine,
• 19:29
  it's a horrible thing they've done to your president.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's affecting me sexually and we may not ever be the same.
• 19:37
  And she's,
• 19:38
  as you can see,
• 19:38
  she's drooping right now because she's very upset.
• 19:41
  But we have a country full of horrible,
• 19:44
  radical F people who want to destroy me.
• 19:48
  And so when I enter the White House,
• 19:50
  I've done nothing wrong except the 34 felonies that I jury.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: By the way, not one big in there on the jury.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: They say, jury of your peers.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_03: Jury of my peers.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: They say, of my peers, I didn't see one sexually assaulting white person.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: Racist billionaire on the jury.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: How the hell can it be my peers?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: They say peers.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't see Piers Morgan.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't see a Piers Bronze, Bronze, Charles Bronze.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm the handsome guy.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: British, not as handsome as me, but we could admit he was handsome.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: More handsome than Gavin Mooscombe.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: But your president will enter the White House a felon for you.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: I take these charges for you because they hate our country,
• 20:35
  so even though I've never been convicted of sexual assault or
• 20:40
  any crimes that I've
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: actually done,
• 20:43
  Apparently,
• 20:44
  paying off a porn star,
• 20:49
  some radical left jury thought that I was guilty 34 times.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I would have respected if they had added 35 more charges,
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: so I could have at least been guilty 69 times.
• 20:59
  But the point is,
• 21:01
  our country is under attack,
• 21:02
  and when I get back in office,
• 21:04
  it will stop.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: It will stop like you wouldn't believe.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_03: So this is your felon president signing off.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: Bye-bye.
• 22:06
  Thanks for the songs on episode 220 of Donald Trump Theater
• 22:09
  from Gene Marshall,
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: Steelers Wheel,
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: Barbara Streisand,
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: and Barry Gibb,
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: and Golden Earring.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_03: And thanks for the clips and excerpts from Desi Lattic,
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Jordan Klepper,
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: Seth Meyers,
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: Casey Hunt,
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: Amin Mahildan,
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: Caitlin Collins,
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: Steve Bannon,
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: Stephen Colbert,
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_03: Jimmy Kimmel,
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: and J.L.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: Kavon.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: I know that the moon has died.
• 25:02
  So you'll come to know When the bullet hits the bone When the
• 25:12
  bullet hits the bone