Latest / Can We Actually Talk About this? / Let’s Talk About Sex, Pleasure and Intimacy

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Pleasure and Intimacy · Can We Actually Talk About this?

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone and welcome to Can We Actually Talk About This?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: To in today's episode, we're talking about Let's talk about sex, baby.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about you, Emmy.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: As individuals.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: As individuals.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Not crossing the line, Jeff.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: No, we don't do that.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're friends.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's not good.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: So where are we starting?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so before we talk about sex and intimacy, it's not all about sex, doesn't have to be penetration.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's true.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: We need to do our gratitudes.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: What are we grateful for?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because we've had a bit of a week off because it's been half-term.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: So what are we grateful for other than kids going back to school?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, damn it, you took it right out of my mouth.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say that I am grateful for um books.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh learning and reading.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: This comes from the woman who once said to me, I can't read.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: The thing is, I can't read.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: I can read.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I can read.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: She's got the skills.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've got the skills to read.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: I can't actually sit and read a book.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I have to listen to a book.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: So when I say book, I mean like audible books.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing though.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, like I feel like they've been life-changing for me.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: In like learning and self-help and stuff.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm grateful for those.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: What about you?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I am grateful for duvets, big coats, and woolly jumpers.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, lovely.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: And fluffy socks.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's chilly today.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's so cold at the moment.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's suddenly cold.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like it's gone from like 20 degrees to 10 in a week.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Literally.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: What happened, England?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine when it goes to one degree?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and minus numbers.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can't hope with it.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: I have to go into hibernation.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not ready for it.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, what's next?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Rant?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Rant.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Rant about it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: The cold.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly can't stand it.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: That is my rant.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Is like I literally said to Craig yesterday, we went for a walk up the downs and it was lovely, but I was like, I'm just not built for this.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I need to move to a hot country now.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right this second.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not right this second.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Please.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Can I have like just 12 months water?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's gonna it's gonna be an adjustment.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so not not right now, but I definitely was born to live in a hot country.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not good with the cold.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Makes me will literally want to hibernate and not see anyone or go anywhere.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just need it at like 20.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Constantly at 20, though.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Never above, never below.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like between 20 and 30 is lush.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, 30's too high.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: It is for me.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: I burn.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, true.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: So easy.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: You need like 30 with lots of shade.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: And a fan.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And a fan.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: And a breeze.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: And ice cream.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and ice latte.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Lovely.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Done.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, perfect.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now what's your rant?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my rant is Jess, you can't take too long.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's waiting.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I know, but they're in suspense.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, that's true.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: What's she gonna come up with?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm torn between two.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: Number one, alarm clocks hate them.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: Really.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: This week I've really started, mainly the last two days, really started to test them.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like that it makes me physically angry.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then I read online somewhere, it was like you should just use a gentle vibration instead.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: But then this morning I stepped through it because it was just a gentle vibration.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go with alarm clocks.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's just I hate, I think I don't like being I like being told what to do.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: That's the thing.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like being told when to wake up.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: No, I know what you mean.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: I always wake up naturally before my alarm, which is quite nice.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: I never wake up to my alarm, very rarely.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I've ever developed a body clock.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't have a set time when my body gets tired or a set time when I wake up.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like these people who are naturally like living their best life at 5am without an alarm clock.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: How?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing it?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: But we're all different, aren't we?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just don't think I've got that gene.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: But what was the other thing you wanted to rant about?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can do two, I'll let you do two today.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Car parking.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: I just hate right.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I just there's too many cars in the world now.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I say this as a woman who owns her own car, but I just wherever you go, there's never enough car parking space.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, there's not, especially on the school run, though.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I find the school run the world.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: That's another level.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: The amount of times they bring parking attendants to the school, yeah.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: They literally give people fines at the school.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's they don't find people, yeah.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: They can't because people can't park there in school.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it's literally like the hunger games, it's just mental ridiculous.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: But just in general, like went to the shops yesterday and saw someone crash into someone else's car in the car park and just drive off because they couldn't get into the space properly.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Plenty of space, like but there was like one space that everyone was queuing for, and then this guy did it.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, what is going on?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's that was my second rant of the week.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Very menial things, not huge things this week.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just and what about like what have you what was the other one called?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Our little wins.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, our wins.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: So we set ourselves challenges, didn't we?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you were gonna try something new, and I was gonna dress to make myself happy.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, I did in Greece.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you did.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: She took it one step further, which I love.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, and I can't say particularly dressed to make myself happy, but I was in very little clothing, which made me really happy because I mean it was nice, but that was my little win.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Made me not the dressing, but going on holiday on my own with my child.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was a big thing.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: I was scared of it.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: I've been putting it off for a long, long time.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: The money side of it, is he gonna enjoy himself?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Are we gonna be okay?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is it safe?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like Madeline McCann, just you know what I mean?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of worries.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: But you did it, did it and had a great time.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_02: Such a good time.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: That is so good.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Big win.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Such a big win.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Big win.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Literally.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, mine's not as good because I didn't really.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think because it was half term, I didn't really have any time for myself.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: You literally have no, so it's really hard to try something new on your own.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I tell you something that we did do as a family for the first time is all dressed up for Halloween together.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I loved this.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was so fun.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: And we've never done that before.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, that was a win because I was like, oh, smashed it.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: 11 out of 10.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Those costumes brilliant.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: And if you haven't seen it, you need to have a look at Casey's um Instagram or Facebook or TikTok, any one of them.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wherever, it's everywhere.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: It just was amazing.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Can we talk about Ella as Boo?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we went as Monsters Inc.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: and Ella as Boo was just for me the best thing ever.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: She looks so it's like she had the proper boo outfit and everything.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: She's the sweetest looking.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: So cute.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: So cute.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, the amount of people that literally have said about us, oh my god.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know what though, Craig?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Craig could have put a bit more effort.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: He was Sally, wasn't he?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: He had his onesie on.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: He could have painted his face.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: At least.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he didn't.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: But to be fair, at least he put it on.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's the thing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Most daddy's heartbones wouldn't.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: So this is Craig, so I am impressed that he did that.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: But as a collective, you looked incredible.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: It was fun.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it was fun.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my win.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna take that as a win.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: And there was an actual win involved because you won't dress.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then I won best dress.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that's so true.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: And like I'm only a little bit competitive.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: You to be fair, you put a lot of effort and planning into this.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like this wasn't a get a black bag, cut two holes in it, check it over your head situation.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: This I really went for this.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like I won really good mum points as well on that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: But like I did really good mum life.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I think like you win family points there, like daughter, sister.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because you put effort into that event.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's so true.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: Well done, yeah.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm proud of you for that.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: It was good.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: It was good.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's my goal for life.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: To dress as monsters in your family and win an award.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right, anyway, let's get into this because people I bet are like so excited for it.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: An intrigued.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's an intriguing subject, isn't it?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Really, sex and intimacy, because it's so vast and there's like so much we could talk about.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I think women only really talk about it when they're a bit drunk.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's so true.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's not just a general conversation people have.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we are recording this at like nine o'clock in the morning on a Monday morning.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I can confirm I am not drunk.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me neither.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: Drunk on life.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: So this is gonna be fun.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, we're gonna be like talking about different things because obviously I'm in a relationship and like sex after nearly 20 years with someone.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm celibate.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna need to remind me what it is.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: But there are other ways to be pleasured, and also I feel like having gone from a long-term marriage into like single life situationships, relationships, it's the last three years of my life have been more sexually varied than my entire sexual life.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's just I don't know.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: I also think it's the age as well.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like 30s into 40s.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: What happens to us?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's weird, isn't it?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna check this as I know this is crazy, but I just wanted to check it as recording.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know when suddenly it goes into your head and I'm like, we can have this whole conversation and we haven't recorded it, it's fine.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's not meant for anyone's easy.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's fine.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're recording.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: Also, mother and father, if you're listening now, is not the time.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that it really isn't.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Family members, feel free to jump off.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the time.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: Love you.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, carry on.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just very like, I feel like when you are in your 30s and forties, whether you're in a long-term relationship or not, you become a far more aware of your body.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not talking about like when you're in your 20s and you're really self-conscious and all this, that and the other.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: You're aware of all the changes you've been through, you're aware of what you like and what you don't like anymore.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: You're also aware that you're on limited time.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, any sexual experiences are on it on a timer, basically.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: So there's no point in fanning around and doing stuff that you don't enjoy.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that is so you want what you want.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get it.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, I just feel like there's an underlying confidence there in women in their 30s and 40s.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, apparently, that's why younger men go for older women because they just don't mess around.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: They're like, Yeah, this is what I want.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: They like to be like, right, this is what I want.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Not that I've got any younger men chasing me, but well, you know.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just not for me.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: You never know.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: After this podcast episode.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, never know.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so where should we even begin?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um we start with our first encounters with sex, yeah.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like this is uh everyone says, like, oh, how old were you?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: And no one really talks about like what was it actually like?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: I did find it painful.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Did you?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I did.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: I remember telling my friend at the time when I was being like, she's like, Oh, did it hurt?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: Did you bleed a lot?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, No, no.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Oh, was he really small?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I don't think so, but like it was the first one I'd ever seen.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: So don't know.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: Don't you know?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then I remember her going, Oh, wait, you used to do horse riding.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's okay, that's why it is.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What do you mean?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: And apparently, if you do horse riding at a young age as a girl, it can like soften your hymen and like break your hymen so that when you have sex, because you're doing the whole like up and down thing all the time, the force that happens.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's so funny.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: That can happen.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: So, myth or truth, someone let me know.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: But that's interesting.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't painful for me.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think I regretted it.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because I really shouldn't say I regretted it because it's with Craig who I'm still with.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you can regret like how it happens.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, it's fine.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was fine to be fair, it was just painful, was it?
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was just a bit painful.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: But not like insanely painful.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like, oh my god, I'm in absolute agony.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was just like, oh, that was uncomfortable.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, but yeah, it's a weird thing, isn't it?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like the first time, because you just like don't really know what to do, like it's a bit awkward.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was just a bit like oh, and I was not in like a proper relationship with this, like I was besotted with the guy, yeah.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: But it was like he was a bit older than me.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: It was one of those like circumstantial things, like it just happened.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like a are we ready for this sort of thing.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like a oh don't talk about it, just do it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: And then the next day I was like, Oh, should I have done that?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, I wasn't like, oh my god, yay!
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Look at me go.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Oh no, I'm broken.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh stop, yeah, it's a funny thing.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think we put so much pressure on like the first time having to be this incredible thing, and it's just not the case though, is it?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, no, it's not romantic, it's not sexy, it's not enjoyable, but now it can be.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And don't you love it though, when you watch movies and they like get to not talking about first time anymore, but they go and have this incredible sex scene, and you're like, yeah, this is how it looks when you're in the shower.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: I hate shower sex.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, not a fan of it if I'm totally honest.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't like it.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: The hair's gonna get wet, exactly.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Someone's gonna get a bit cold because you're not in the shower.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: You can't both be under the water.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just think it's awkward.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the spacing can be awkward.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: There's only really probably two positions you can really do exactly.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I just find it so funny now when I watched it, and I'm like, oh my god, that's so not how it happens.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I have had great shower sex.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's good though.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: But I was drunk and it was a surprise.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: So that was do you know unplanned, not like should we?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was just in there and he came in and I was like, Yes.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, this is it.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love it, it was so good.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was the spontaneity of it, yeah, and not like the do you know what I mean?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Drunkness probably helps.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't drink, so yeah, I don't ever have that drunken.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: I've not, yeah, I mean I can't say it's the majority of the time I have sex, I'm drunk.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: But like I think it's the whole like we were away at a hotel, it was we'd been like out for drinks, out for dinner, it was like flirty down in the world.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: And like you do like I think the thing is with alcohol, isn't it?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: It does give you an unfound confidence.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you lose your inhibition.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: So it can really spike that like I think what that did, because that was quite early on in like the situation ship.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think what that did for me then was brought down boundaries, like because the inhibitions had gone when I was drunk and it all went really well, and like it was great the next day, like it didn't impact anything negatively, there was no regret from it.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like I think from then on the sex was even better because it was like I know I can drop my.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: You've you've broken that seal of like and I can trust him, and that we're both on the same page, like it was just yeah, it was like a turning point.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: It was I love that it was good.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes I think it's needed if like you feel really self-conscious, you need that turning point with or without alcohol, doesn't have to include it, where you're both on the same page and you're in agreement of what's happening.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, and I think that's the key thing, isn't it?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Is having that safe person there to like experience stuff with and try new stuff with can massively help confidence in yourself, yeah, for sure.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: And he was the guy that like so in my marriage, obviously we had sex, we had a child, but um it was it just became like very towards the end monotonous, very sparse, yeah, because we were going apart, like that's what it was, but even all the way through that wasn't the main focus of our relationship, like we got on as friends, like we love traveling together and doing stuff together, and sex kind of just came as part of it.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: It was never the excitement or yeah, like never use a sex toy really didn't really have sex like in unusual places or anything, it was literally like you go to bed, this is how it happens, yeah, it became very routine.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then in my first situationship, let's call it, because it wasn't like a really real relationship, because I was like, No, I'm not ready for a relationship, but literally fell head over heels and did everything else.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's then when he was like, Well, have you tried this?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Have you tried that?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I think after that turning point of like losing the inhibitions, I was like, I haven't, but yeah, let's do it.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then I was literally like, Well, let's try this, let's try that, let's try this.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Oh, okay, I unleashed a piece.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I am quite prudish, like I do come across quite prudish, and then I think when I'm with someone that I know I can trust, and there's yeah, I think trust is a massive thing, and it means such a massive thing, and I think especially like you say, when you're introducing sex toys and things like that, like you do want to feel really comfortable with the person that you're doing that with.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, because often you're introducing sex toys from a selfish perspective, yeah, and that is okay, yeah, like that's absolutely fine, and it's no, you know, you're not downgrading what they're doing or saying like they're bad at something or anything else.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think some people do take it personally, yeah.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: If you say, like, oh, I'd like to use a sex where they're like, Well, because what I'm offering not good enough, yeah, that's so true, and that's not what it is, yeah.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's a different dimension you can't possibly do with your body, and it's just bringing fun back into it, and this is what I say to people when I talk to people about like bringing in sex toys and stuff.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, it's fun, yeah, like, and it's also funny because not everything goes to plan, and that can be quite funny, and you could you just build this different connection with each other of like actually just having a fun time together, do you know what I mean?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Rather than like you say, like let's go to bed, let's have sex, and then it's done.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like it just brings in that different bit of connection.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: I think even like just talking about it, I mean like ordering it, it arriving.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's such a big buildup to use it in that can be funny, and like it's a bit like oh god, I can't believe we're actually doing this.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or is it gonna arrive in a massive box that says dildo on the side?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what's going to happen?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: Or my neighbour's gonna know that I've ordered this, like what's going on, and even like putting batteries in and turning it on to the physical and putting like the packaging or something in the bin as well, and the kids are gonna find it.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Was it literally?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh dear god, it is yeah, it's a funny time, but I do think, like, especially for us, we've been together nearly 20 years, and it's like we've always had a really good sexual relationship.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, we've been together nearly 20 years, and we're still having sex three times a week.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, like it's but we keep it fun all the time, like we order different toys, we try different things, like, and I think that's definitely because we're so comfortable with each other and fully trust each other, like you know, it's just a bit of fun.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like, and if it doesn't, if sometimes I try and I'm like, oh my god, I hate it, throw it in the bin.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: I hate it, I hate it.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: That is going straight in the bin, not having it.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, and it's just being okay with trying that and being like, Oh, do you know what that was not for me?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: But at least you tried it, right?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know unless you try, and then there's some things I'm like, we are keeping that, we're getting a better version, let's try it.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I will be using it whether you're here or not.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Let's try this, let's do this.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I mean?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think that's yeah, it's great fun.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think also, like, as a single woman, celibate single woman, let's talk about that.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I like I think it's great.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because otherwise, I am horrible.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a horrible person if I'm sexually frustrated.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I am moody, angry.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: Literally.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: I just it it needs, I think it's a natural thing.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: I think 100%.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: It makes such a difference, and it's proven like having an orgasm massively like releases stress.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's a healing.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so because it releases releases oxytocin and serotonin, it can literally like heal you at the same time, whether that's mentally or physically.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: So headaches, the whole thing of like, oh, I can't have sex night because I've got a headache, if they can give you an orgasm, that headache's gone.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: It takes away the pain from certain areas.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: It can really help with everything.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, all for it.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like using toys on your own and with a partner.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I think when you use toys on your own for the first time, you like I remember going on Love Honey, yeah, the website.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: Being like, Good lord, where do I start?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it was these like massive, just comical things that you stick to the side of a wall for the shower.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm not, that's not what I want.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's not what I want.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it's okay then to just start off with the basics, like what you've heard up and what you've seen, and try that and then explore further and further.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to go straight in with a double-ended dildo, and you know what I mean?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like start small, yeah, and then build your way in a little tiny vibrator.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's fine.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: A little mullet.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then you'll be like, Oh, actually, I wanted a bit more than that.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, now we move on to like a rabbit or something, and then you go on to whatever else, like the little roses and stuff like that.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, the rose.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: The rose.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: If anyone wants to order a sex toy as a female woman, I would say order the rose.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: I like it, but I also like the um do you remember the one that we had in Body Confidential?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: The double, so it's like penetration and there's like a little rose attached to it.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: See, I didn't get on with that.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Did you not?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, I like the rose.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: On its own.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is why I can't be a lesbian.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I need the penetration at the same time.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I think everyone's different, aren't they?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like internal, external.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: You've got to experiment and enjoy what you like find out what you like as you're going through it.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I think sex toys are a great way of doing that.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't have to be the intimidating, vibrating, twirling, flashing, you know, all guns blazing.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: It can even be things like not even purchasing a sex toy, but at home, like using an ice cube and finding out how that fits.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: Fan.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: Noting.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like exploring your body, isn't it?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I did body confidential last time.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: We were talking about it.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, how many of us literally go into bed on our own and spend 10 minutes just like touching different areas of our body to see what we like?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like what responds, what's sensitive, what's not.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: And how many people go, right?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: I need something.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Get the vibrator out, quick in and out.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: You're not really satisfied.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: You haven't really listened to your body.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's important as well.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: On your own and with a partner, like to figure out what happens.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because also, I know you've had one partner, so you're figuring out new things and finding whatever else works for you and new toys and stuff.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: But going from one partner to then a different partner, I'm not saying I've had loads of partners, by the way.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then another one.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then another one.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: We did stop at three in the last 15 years.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it was like something that I enjoyed with one partner, I didn't enjoy with the other one.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: So then it's figuring out like how your bodies work together and like what you enjoy with them.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then that's new and exciting, also daunting at the same time, but in a good way.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: I think it is all about exploration and not being afraid to put time aside for that.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like you'll put time aside for a hot bath and you'll sit in there for half an hour.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lovely place to try something.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is a nice place to try it.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Put some music on, lock that door.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Can enjoy yourself.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Bit of music.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: I just think, why not?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like exactly.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it is like we say, it's it's such an important thing.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like it can massively help your mindset and how you're feeling, can't it?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Just like having that release for yourself, absolutely.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's with someone or not, it's so important to give yourself that time and give yourself that pleasure.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not be embarrassed by it.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like exactly try it.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: And if you've not tried it before, like give it a go.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think that goes for everything with it though.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like playing on your own, playing with someone else, experiencing things with a new partner, like inviting someone else in, whatever it is you want to do.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Try if that's a fantasy of yours, why not try it?
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like as long as no one's getting injured or hit.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: They're the main two things and it's not illegal.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's abide by the law.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, then try it.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: What what's the harm?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: All you're gonna know is if you like or if you don't.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's like having ice cream.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like pistachio ice cream, so I'm not gonna have it again.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I tried it.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: So exactly, it's just like that.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just trying it.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Just take all that fun stuff, you know.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Take the taboo part of it away.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sex is not taboo, sex is a natural.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's such a natural normal thing that people just don't want to talk about, isn't it?
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: And also being happy and enjoying yourself is a natural normal thing.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: So, why would we not do that through sex or sexual activities?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't understand why people find judge it so much.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there is a lot of judgment around that, isn't there?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: So people aren't gonna judge you if you buy a new cleaning gadget and try that out in the kitchen.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: So order that sex toy, try that out in the kitchen.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: What a way to end that podcast episode, isn't it?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_02: Literally, just do what you want to do, okay?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Buy that thing.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Buy that thing, try that thing, say what you want.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just feel what you want, yeah.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do what you want, do what you want and give it a go and see what happens.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: How exciting! I'm excited for our listeners.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Me too, and a bit jealous.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: Literally go and order a new toy, yeah.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Off to Love Honey.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: There's more out there now, though, aren't there?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there are.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: There's quite a few places you can order from.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you think like, yeah, anyway, tangent.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's for another episode.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we should review some.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fun.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, what are we gonna do by next August?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, we've got ourselves set ourselves.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, actually, I've started something today.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: So it is November the 2nd, I understand.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: But no one starts anything on a Sunday, do they really, other than I did?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Did God start something on a Sunday?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, I think he did Monday through Sunday.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, tangent.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I am gonna get myself in a better place in terms of my daily habits.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've put on a bit of weight, I'm really lacking in energy, my skin's not great, like I'm just not feeling at my peak at the moment, and I know that I can feel better.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting a bit snappy with people.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm just not there.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: And when I'm like, oh God, it's the time of year, it's not, Jessica.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: You drink about one glass of water a day, maximum.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: So you're you're a crisp, you're dehydrated.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know what I mean?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: You go into bed at 2 a.m.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: and getting up at half six.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: Your skin's bad because you're shrivelling.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm shriveling.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: The watery is a shriveled human being.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, some days I'll sit on my laptop for a good four to six hours straight and not move.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm not moving my body enough.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's all or nothing with me.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: So I need to get better at stacking my daily habits.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what I'm doing.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm using TikTok as my accountability partner.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Because I want to post more on TikTok anyway.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: So I was like, do you know what?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna do this.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: And each day I'm gonna tell you what my goal is for the day and whether I've achieved it or not.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: Cheer me, boo me, whatever you want to do, join me.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Love that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: But that's what I'm doing.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll let you know how recording that on the fit by without.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: I am.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm using the body blossom tracker because there's a free tracker on there that's really, really easy to use.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: You literally just click what you've done throughout the day.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Amazing.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I think also there's a lot of things on there that you can click.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna click them all because they're not my target in week one, but it gives me inspiration as to what I can do for week two.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm not going full hog, like three litres of water a day, 10,000 steps, like two hours of exercise and building it up.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's the key thing, isn't it?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, start small.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that's what I'm doing.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so what are you doing?
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually a little bit similar in terms of like my mindset.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really trying to be delusional in like growing.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: She's trying.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to be completely delusional in mindset and business growth and where I'm going next.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm doing this through like no negative self-talk.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: So when it pops up, I've got to like put some good music on, I've got to like, it's there, and then let it go, not overthink it.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because we all do that, right?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: A negative thought comes into our head, we overthink it, we spiral, and then suddenly there's like 10 negative thoughts in our heads.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to really focus on that negative thought comes in, but then I have like, uh, I've got to put on music or I've got to go and do some writing, so that I'm working on that.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm working really on my mindset um to just be like stuff it, like I can do it.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's so many people out there doing it, so I can do it too.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Have you got like tangible things that you are going to do to hold yourself accountable for it?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm also creating myself a vision board.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Because this is like a huge part of it, because basically, you write down your goals and you have to get really specific with it and make the vision board around to get clarity.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: So then, like every single day, I'm gonna be writing down those goals, so then it's putting it into my mindset, reminding myself of what I'm achieving.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, I like that.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's it, I'm excited.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, this time next week, guys, we are gonna be new women, literally, yeah.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, part of the way to being new women anyway.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, changes, changes, ch ch ch ch changes, changes to make and change, changes.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I can't sing just there.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: We go.
• 30:18
  unknown: Smash it.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Have an amazing rest of your day, everyone.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us, and we'll see you next week.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: Bye!