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Math, Meaning, and Money Shame · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Money is not your moral score.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let that sink in.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Your bank balance does not equal your worth.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your debt does not mean you're broken.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And your net worth is not the same as your soul's worth.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, my name is Mark Walker.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a podcast where we explore how we can encourage ourselves and embody and act out those best parts of ourselves so we can step into the lives we want to live instead of the one that's programmed or given to us.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've worked with a lot of people in the financial areas and clients who carry not just financial debt, but a deep emotional debt.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: They borrowed money from family or friends, and it seems like every holiday meal seemed to turn into kind of a silent judgment or an audit.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: They might have taken out loans, and then every monthly statement feels like a whispered, hey, you're being irresponsible.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're failing.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're bad.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really the hidden weight of money.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because it isn't just those numbers on the spreadsheet.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's the shame that we wrap around it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, one client told me recently, I don't even want to look at my accounts because when I do, I feel like a failure as a parent and as a business owner and as a human being.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And hey, I get it.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think any of us are absolved from that.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: But our money is not our morality.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's math.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the moment we start to confuse the two, well, we can stop thinking clearly and we can just react emotionally.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns not into fierce encouragement, it turns into a shame spiral.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the mental or the mindset reframe.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Money is math plus meaning.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Math is simple, kind of.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Numbers in, numbers out, right?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: We look at interest rates, uh, we balance everything.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Math doesn't judge, it just is.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: That meaning, that feeling, that is what we layer on top.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: It might be guilt or pride, it might be fear or shame, or it might be our identity.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that can be the noisy part.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: When we separate these two things, we can start to reclaim a clarity for ourselves.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: We can stop letting that money tell us what kind of person we are.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we can start to tune in and we can s to ourselves and start treating money like it is what it is, which is just a tool.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here is a practice I wanted to just throw out and have you try.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's the two-column audit.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So take out just a simple sheet of paper and draw a line right down the middle vertically, and then on the left, write math.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the right, write meaning.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the left side, math.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just list out the facts.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: List out the numbers that are popping in your head.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your credit card balance, maybe it's uh the mortgage, you know,$1,500 a month, maybe it's the income, you know,$4,800 a month.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just write down the math.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let it come out.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't uh allow adjectives or adverbs to come in here.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh keep the judgments and the audits and all those things that might be flowing in.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Keep that out of the math column.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: On the right side of the two-column audit, write down the word meaning.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to write down what those numbers on the left make you feel.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: One I've used is, ooh, I'm ashamed of this debt.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I feel trapped, is one that I've come up with.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I've heard from my clients.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or even the other, right?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: The joyful and the gratitude.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm super proud I paid that off.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's uh this bill scares the hell out of me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Write down what those numbers make you feel in that right side of the column.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want you to take a step back at the end of all of this.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you know, pause this or do this on your own, but take a look at both columns.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: The math is on the left, the meaning is on the right, and now here's a key, key move.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one aligned decision.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Something that'll deal with the math, but isn't poisoned by the meaning.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's um setting up an automatic payment, right?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Setting up a larger automatic payment.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's uh making that one phone call to negotiate a different rate.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it is something like canceling that one subscription that you really haven't been using.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: So think about it that way.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Make one aligned decision for yourself.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Simple, effective, align it with what's important to you.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is how you and me, you know, I'm in this camp too.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we can start to take our power back.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's how we can start to feel like we're making progress on the math, and of course, honoring the meaning that we're finding.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: So when we see this split clearly, something else comes up that's really powerful for me and that of my clients.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: The shame, the guilt, well, it always exaggerates the truth.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: The story will uh paint something kind of like, this is impossible.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: But when we start to look at the math, we can say something like, this is tough, but this is workable, this is solvable.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: The shame will say something like, I am a failure.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: The math will say, hey, you're paying 19% interest.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Time to tackle that one first.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: So do you see the difference, the shift in energy here?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: One can paralyze you, but the other one gives you the next clear step.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I mean when I say clarity pays interest.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Confusion just can compound our pain and we stay stuck.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity compounds progress.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: When we have more clarity, we have more interest in what really matters instead of compounding the pain.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So clarity compounds our progress.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is it.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is your training for this week.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do your two-column audit, the math on the left, the meaning on the right, and separate the shame from your facts.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Really, truly, separate that shame from the facts.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then choose one aligned decision for yourself and execute it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Really, really make an effort to execute it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's it.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's it.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's simple, it's easy to say, but it can help with your clarity, and it definitely is repeatable.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because money, again, it's not a moral judgment or scoreboard.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let go of that.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's simply a tool, and your tools are meant to be used and not worshipped.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend who might carry that same weight of money shame that I struggle with and I get coached on, um, and that might help you just let go of some of that energy.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let them know they're not alone.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Throw them this lifeline of the audit and uh the column exercise, the two-column exercise.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, if you want some accountability and some help building a system where your money serves your values instead of feeling like you might be attacking yourself worth, well, check the link in the show notes to connect with me for a complimentary session with me.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, money is math plus meaning.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Separate them to think more clearly and be more present in your life.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as always, remember that clarity pays interest.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing your time with me.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this has been Mark Walker.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pleasure to share these lessons that I've gotten from my clients and through the work I've done the last few years.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out and let me know how it lands with you.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I hope you have a great day, great evening, wherever you're at, and we will catch you next time on Fierce Encouragement.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Be well.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.