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It’s Friday I’m in 2026 · Friday I'm in Bed

0:00
Welcome to Friday. I'm in bed.
0:02
Podcast for midlife women living their best life in bed by 10.
0:06
We're here to chat and sometimes rant about the news of the week
0:09
and how it affects us and you. I'm.
0:11
Kate, a 53 year old postmenopausal mum of two whose
0:14
happy place is at the front of a very loud gig, especially one
0:19
that ends. Early gem.
0:20
I'm 46 years old, I love running on cocktails and I'm child free,
0:23
but I am a devoted mum to two very spoilt pug babies.
0:28
But before we begin, we will occasionally be discussing
0:30
sensitive topics, but we will always notify you in advance of
0:33
each section and we can add support group websites and phone
0:37
numbers that will help you in the show notes.
0:39
Please do like and subscribe wherever you listen to your
0:41
podcasts and do leave us a comment.
0:43
We love to chat. As you can probably tell,
0:56
this week on Friday, I'm in bed. We're asking the big questions.
0:59
What's going to be embarrassing in 2026?
1:02
After discovering that having a boyfriend was apparently
1:05
embarrassing in 25, we'll be discussing the independence
1:08
predictions for the year ahead. Apparently influencers chatting
1:12
about Manjaro and having a Libooboo are just a few items on
1:15
the list. We're also digging into the
1:17
headlines around. Too posh to push?
1:19
And the growing number of women choosing C sections and saying
1:22
clearly that bodily autonomy isn't a trend and does not need
1:25
anyone's. Approval.
1:26
And finally, we're talking rage bait, Why it works, why it's
1:30
everywhere, and whether we like it or just keep falling for it.
1:34
Anyway, opinions incoming, let's get into it.
1:36
Hi Gem, happy new Year. Not quite.
1:39
It's New Year's Eve. OK, Happy New Year.
1:42
You're allowed to say Happy New Year on New Year's Eve.
1:44
It's fine. All right, what are you doing
1:47
tonight? Tonight.
1:48
As little as possible. I'm going to I have, I have, I
1:52
have special New Year's Eve pajamas that a green velvet with
1:54
sparky bits on and I will be wearing those and sitting by the
1:57
fire because I stopped going out on New Year's Eve a long time
1:59
ago. However, after we've recorded
2:01
this, I am going to go, you know, for cocktails and some
2:04
lunch so it's not all boredom and old lady couch Ness.
2:08
Don't worry. What about you?
2:09
Have you got? Have you got New Year's Eve
2:10
plans? We only made plans last night.
2:12
None of our friends are around. Some of them moved away and
2:15
stuff and we were going to stay in.
2:17
And then late last night I arranged to go to one of my
2:21
closest friends who I grew up with.
2:23
She was my best friend as a teenager and we're going to hers
2:26
for Vietnamese food and because I am a mum Taxi.
2:30
I am picking up the boy and his girlfriend at 2:00 in the
2:33
morning on the way home. OK.
2:36
Yeah, I mean, that's what that's what New Year's Eve is for when
2:38
you're a mum, I'm afraid. Yeah, well, I don't.
2:41
It's when they realise how much a taxi costs and that there
2:43
aren't any available. And I will be driving.
2:46
Yeah, I'll be driving past that anyway, so all good.
2:49
So. I will probably be in bed by 5
2:52
past midnight I reckon. Well, let's get into it.
2:56
We've got lots to talk about. OK.
2:58
I was going to ask you about New Year's resolutions.
3:01
Oh, sorry, we won't get into it yet.
3:03
Then New Year's resolutions. I do have some.
3:05
I'm into New Year's resolutions. I think it's kind of call these
3:11
days to not have them because obviously it's linked to
3:15
changing yourself all the time, which we don't, you know, and
3:18
pressure. But I actually like having the
3:20
kind of first of the year as a starting point.
3:24
I'm good when there's a start. My resolutions are to get strong
3:29
because I've lost such a lot of strength in my body since my
3:31
surgery. I want to save money and
3:34
declutter. I'm going to go.
3:36
I'm on a real mission to save as much money as possible next year
3:39
and to stop spending my third one.
3:41
I've got 4. My third one is to support my
3:44
kids GCSE year, university, going to university year.
3:47
So there's a lot of stuff there. And from a work perspective I
3:51
just want to carry on supporting as many women as possible to
3:55
live their best life in their 50s.
3:56
So I've kind of got What about you, I?
4:00
Stopped making New Year's resolutions years ago years ago
4:03
when that kind of that kind of I am going to be a completely
4:06
different person. I mean part I'm not averse I am
4:09
not averse to that I do love that I love a new notebook.
4:11
It's going to change my life but like to be honest, that's pretty
4:14
much every Monday morning is new year to me like this week.
4:17
I am going to be a perfect human being.
4:20
However, that doesn't mean I don't have like goals for the
4:23
year ahead like for strong is one of mine as well.
4:27
I need to get some strengths back.
4:29
Definitely yeah. And and that deep muster
4:32
everything too. That's definitely that's
4:33
definitely going to happen. But it was also going to happen
4:35
in November, so. Well, me being me is going to
4:39
make a series on my savings and decluttering, and I've got a
4:43
whole series plan so that I can rock up every week and talk
4:46
about it because I think it's the only way I can keep myself
4:49
accountable is to make content about it.
4:51
Because then you have to do it. Yeah.
4:52
So that's the thing. So people always to me, why do
4:54
you always make the things you like doing your job job?
4:56
Because then I have to do them. Yeah.
4:58
OK, so I'm going to say it for the second time.
5:00
We've got lots to talk about. Let's get into it.
5:03
OK, so I want to talk about trends, I guess, but the article
5:10
that sparked this in me was a recent one in the Independent
5:15
that started with forget having a boyfriend being embarrassing,
5:19
which was something that was apparently embarrassing this
5:21
year, which I'm quite interested about and I'll bring up in a SEC
5:24
anyway. But also went on to list a whole
5:26
load of other things that are going to be embarrassing this
5:28
year. So they were influencers, which
5:33
is fun for the people who that's their job.
5:35
But I don't know if that's we can want the kind of ones that
5:40
go to Dubai on holiday and show off all the things they can't
5:42
afford. Giant water bottles, ChatGPT
5:45
using ChatGPT, all reality TV other than the traitors.
5:52
Hello. That's not talking about
5:54
Manjaro. Relevant to you?
5:56
Yeah, Labouz. And Kim Kardashian bombs right
5:59
now. I have have views on all of
6:02
these. Yes, let's start off with the
6:04
boyfriend being embarrassing because that was the
6:08
embarrassing thing of 2025, having a boyfriend.
6:11
What's your take on that? Well, as.
6:13
Far as I could see, it would that was to do with influences,
6:17
right, Is that a lot of people weren't like hard launching
6:20
their boyfriends on social media.
6:22
They, you know, they kept that space for them.
6:24
And I find that very interesting because ever since my blogging
6:27
days, I have not, I mean, there's been pictures of my
6:30
husband on there, you know, and I and I talk about him and I
6:33
talk about him as Mr. Jim or he was Mr. Mr. Chick when I was
6:37
retro chick. I've never made like a big fuss
6:39
about making content with him and stuff like that.
6:41
You know, and you see some people who are all like coupled
6:43
up and they do a lot of like, Oh, this is me and my boyfriend,
6:45
like kind of stuff. I've never done that.
6:47
This was like my space for talking about my things and
6:51
like, that's completely different from my personal life.
6:54
So I did find that quite interesting.
6:56
Anyway, I was like I am so ahead of the curve.
6:59
Yes, you know, I didn't read it as that, not that I read the
7:03
article because my feed and maybe it's think down to
7:06
algorithm as well. It's full of women saying I
7:10
actually want to be single and I reject bad dates.
7:12
I reject dating or being with a man who lacks empathy or
7:17
emotional maturity. And there's been a real backlash
7:21
in like even wanting to date because it's just, you know, I'd
7:26
rather be single. So I think there's been this
7:27
like switch of like, it's going to say girl power then.
7:30
And then I sounded like a Spice Girl fan, but you know, that
7:33
female empowerment. And actually I'd rather be
7:37
single than be with the boyfriend that treated me badly.
7:43
Actually, it's embarrassing to be with a guy that treats me
7:45
badly. I'm going to be single and
7:47
proud. So I kind of took it as that
7:49
which I was a bit like go girl, you know, like if that feels I
7:52
agree. Yeah, I mean, the the Vogue
7:54
article was talking about that kind of like you're following
7:57
someone on social media and then they start being like, oh, this
8:01
is my voice. Like, boy, you know, and like,
8:05
you know, so it's more like people are soft launching now.
8:08
They're like, yeah, you'll see an extra hand in a picture or
8:11
like something like that and you'll be like they've got a
8:14
boyfriend rather than making this big kind of look how loved
8:18
up and coupled we are. I think people.
8:21
Also. Feeds.
8:22
Yeah, there's, there's definitely that.
8:24
And I've seen even women in the mid life or in the 50s space,
8:28
you know how they've left their husband and they've talked about
8:30
that. And that could be a positive or
8:32
negative thing depending on your relationship.
8:35
And then they, yeah, they are still soft launching.
8:37
So there's like here I am in Paris.
8:40
I'm just suddenly in Paris or Morocco and there's two wine
8:44
glasses. And I think it's engagement
8:47
baiting. We're going to talk about rage
8:49
baiting later, but engagement baiting.
8:51
So who's the other glass belong to?
8:53
And then you don't answer. So you get better engagement and
8:57
you're all coy and secretly. I mean that that's an
9:00
interesting, there is an interesting way of looking at
9:02
it, like engagement baiting, I guess because like, yeah, that's
9:05
because I kind of saw it as that thing where people like, you
9:07
know, if they're like, oh, but this relationship may not last
9:09
and then I'm going to have to hard launch another one.
9:13
I think with the influences, everything is about getting as
9:17
many, you know, comments as possible.
9:18
So if you kind of have the hand, I'm holding a hand.
9:21
Oh, look what somebody bought me a nice ring, not an engagement
9:25
ring. It's a nice.
9:27
Does it matter if being an influencer is going to be so
9:29
embarrassing this year? Well, we'll.
9:31
Come in a minute. And also, what is an influencer?
9:34
Because I'm somebody. The exact question I was going
9:36
to ask. How do you define an influencer
9:40
then? Well, it's somebody that has
9:42
influence because it's an influencer.
9:44
And, you know, people describe me as an influencer because I
9:48
work with brands and I sell products a lot online.
9:53
And what's interesting is I rejected the term influencer for
9:57
a long time. I pushed away from it.
9:59
I'm not an influencer. You know, I'm a content creator
10:03
or I am a like a Blogger or I'm an editor or I'm a marketing
10:08
consultant. I mean, I am all of those
10:09
things. I would not use that word
10:11
influencer. And then at some point, I think
10:14
it was actually whilst I'd had my surgery, I had a light bulb
10:17
moment that I am. And I need to stop hiding from
10:21
that word because that is what I do and I need to lean into it
10:26
because it's what I do. However, the word made me makes
10:30
me cringe. So much I feel like say the word
10:35
influencer to me when I say when I hear influencer, it conjures
10:39
up this kind of matching gym sets and the giant water bottle.
10:43
Like, do you know what I mean? Like like like a life that's so
10:48
carefully curated to within an inch that you can't, you know,
10:52
there's no authenticity. I feel like the word influence
10:56
that carries with it like a lack of authenticity.
10:58
And I don't know who these people are that are being
11:01
influenced by people that aren't really authentic because I kind
11:05
of feel like I'm like, I don't care.
11:07
You're selling that because someone's paying you like.
11:10
I think that's an age thing though as well, because to me
11:13
the really glossy influences as you've described them, so
11:17
they're off to Dubai and everything is curated with an
11:20
inch of its life. They're all very young, They're
11:22
in their 20s generally, and I think they're influencing other
11:26
women or men because there's male influences in their 20s.
11:29
I think that's why I rejected the term for so long because
11:32
it's just gives you the IT, particularly as a grown ass
11:36
woman, you know, it's like, but I do make money from promoting
11:42
brands. That's how I earn the lion's
11:45
share of my cash. So therefore I am but one of the
11:48
things I'm really, really, it's important to me is to be real.
11:54
And actually I am messy. So I lean into the messy because
11:59
like, we ain't going to get perfectly curated around here.
12:02
The. Amount of years I.
12:03
Spent, like, do you remember blogging in the, like, early
12:05
naughties when it was all the photos were like, I'm looking
12:07
wistful? Yeah, I do sometimes do that,
12:10
generally when my skin's really bad or my hair looks terrible
12:14
and I just kind of go, yes, I'm just like looking over here in
12:17
the background. And there's normally not because
12:19
I'm trying to look wistful, I'm just trying to hide the fact
12:22
that I haven't got any makeup on or something.
12:25
But yeah, so influences are embarrassing.
12:27
And I believe it's the, you know, look at my Sheehan Hall
12:31
where I've got thousands and thousands of things, you know,
12:34
that whole kind of overconsumption, lack of
12:37
authenticity and also being all the same because there is like a
12:42
uniform, they all, they like beige, don't they, you know,
12:45
like creamy. Yeah, everything.
12:47
And it was like cream and grey and like, yeah, are you allowed
12:51
to be an influencer if you wear colours?
12:53
Well, you are. You're allowed to do whatever
12:55
you like. The whole embarrassing thing, I
12:59
think is the curated thing. But it's interesting.
13:02
As I said, I've been embarrassed.
13:04
Possibly not the right word, the ick, you know.
13:07
And it's like, well, brands contact me to work with me
13:10
because they want me to promote their products.
13:11
So by nature, that means I am one, they want you to influence
13:16
people. The other thing is, is making
13:17
sure you influence for good as well.
13:20
So you don't your, your influence isn't just by this
13:23
product. It could be about women's
13:25
rights. It could be about raising money,
13:30
voting, voting, going. For anyone is always whenever
13:35
there's election, I'm like go and vote.
13:37
Absolutely, but then like go for your mammogram.
13:40
I, we talked in a previous podcast about how I vlogged my
13:43
first mammogram and again, you know, you could I roll and say
13:47
that's very embarrassing, but it was done to say to everybody,
13:51
this is important, you know, look after your health, you
13:54
know, get yourself checked out. So I think if you're influencing
13:57
for good as well, that helps. And I, I think a lot of the
14:02
influences that people are referring to, it's literally I'm
14:05
on another jet to Dubai. And we also know that a lot of
14:08
them aren't on private jets and things.
14:10
You can hire a private jet for an hour.
14:13
It's not a private jet. Yeah, it's a studio that looks
14:17
like a private jet and they people hire that to pretend
14:21
they're on a private jet. I mean, that is crazy.
14:24
Absolutely. I kind of like, I feel like the
14:26
overall vibe of this list. I was just having like a look at
14:31
why they hate Giant. Water bottles, yes.
14:34
So the giant water bottle is that linked to influencer and
14:36
the giant water bottle? It's just saying they call it
14:40
deranged because they're massive and that it's like it's no
14:44
longer chic or something. I feel like a lot of the things
14:47
in the list are related to that idea of it being like of that
14:51
general overconsumption, glossy finish kind of thing.
14:54
Like the Brazilian butt lifts to have your Kim Kardashian bum.
14:58
Though I did note we are making women this bodies a fashion
15:01
trend again. And also, well, we'll come on to
15:05
that one. Well, that one doesn't work
15:07
because Brazilian butt lifts have been out of fashion for
15:09
ages. I mean, even Kim has reduced,
15:12
you know, has removed it. And and we know that the trend,
15:15
which should not be a trend because women's bodies aren't
15:18
trends, is not for mega curve. So that one doesn't even make
15:21
sense to me being but giant water do.
15:26
I was going to say giant water bottles like let's water bottles
15:31
this is. Ridiculous.
15:32
Because surely we should be drinking water and who cares?
15:36
People are drinking and and those big water bottles, like,
15:39
you know, we use them when like, well, they don't go to football
15:42
anymore. When my daughter went to.
15:43
Football we had a giant water bottle and I took a giant water
15:46
bottle because then I didn't used to take 3 water bottles
15:48
like that's what I've got one of those massive like jug ones with
15:52
a handle like you know like what they called like controlling it
15:56
type thing is not a Stanley Cup. It's one of the ones that's got
16:00
the screw top and like it's just a big chunky water bottle.
16:03
I feel like what they're talking about is the Stanley Cups.
16:07
And again, maybe it's that kind of where you carry it for the
16:10
look like you blue. Or are they simply rage baiting,
16:14
which we're going to come on to the word rage baiting later in
16:16
the podcast, but I feel like this article is rage baiting
16:20
because how can water bottles, whatever the size, be
16:24
embarrassed? Yeah, so well, and then the Boo
16:27
boos. Yeah, see, Are there any Laboo
16:29
boos in your house? Not me and me either.
16:33
They're really expensive, but also and also they're tat and my
16:37
kids like like they don't want bag charms.
16:40
Well, my daughter doesn't want a bag charm.
16:44
But but also there was the trend in 2025 were people like Oliver
16:50
Atwood, for example, opening like because you don't know what
16:54
liboo boos in each box and she was just buying, buying, buying,
16:57
buying like hundreds and hundreds of liboo boos to get a
17:01
certain 1. And I remember looking at it
17:03
thinking, have we gone crazy? Because this is like a little
17:07
doll. And it's the it's the
17:09
overconsumption again because now you've got hundreds of Lib
17:12
Boo liboo I can't even say it liboo boos.
17:14
And like 6 of them are the same. Like I know.
17:19
Off to landfill with you. And it's realizing that it's
17:23
micro trends, isn't it? Because you see it.
17:25
And then it was the same with the Stanley Cup.
17:27
You saw it and you might have gone, oh, that's cool.
17:30
Well, I wouldn't have never said a la boobie was cool.
17:31
I might have got, oh, Stanley Cup.
17:32
That's quite nice, you know, quite like that, quite
17:34
practical. And then whoosh, like within a
17:37
week, everybody had one and the entire Internet was full of it.
17:40
And it's like knowing that that's a micro trend.
17:43
Pull away from it because it will be embarrassing shortly.
17:47
And then suddenly you'll go from being super cool on day one to
17:52
being really naff on day 20. Like it's.
17:56
We talked about trend cycles on Boxing Day, didn't we, and how
17:59
they're moving faster and faster and faster with.
18:01
And I think the word I was looking for was immediacy of the
18:04
Internet. I spent a lot of time saying
18:06
instant and to instantness, but I think it was immediacy, yeah.
18:10
So. Yeah, to sum up.
18:13
The House 10 cycles, yeah. So maybe these things won't be
18:16
embarrassing in 2026. They'll be embarrassing in
18:19
January and then they'll be back in by December.
18:23
Yeah, I got sent a Stanley Cup by APR agency and it was right
18:27
at the beginning and I was like, well, I didn't.
18:30
I thought it was at the beginning, but it wasn't.
18:32
And I was like, look, I've been bought that was sent to my kids.
18:35
You know, I was really like excited.
18:37
And they both turned around and went no mom, that is basic
18:41
insta, whatever. Yeah, it's what they said.
18:47
Yeah, matching sets, Stanley Cup, doing this.
18:50
Maybe, I don't know, maybe that's my millennial coming
18:52
through like. What else is on the list talking
18:54
about Manjaro? Yes, not going to say anything
18:57
about that because I'll be I'll be cringe and vegetable.
19:00
Why is that on the list? That's funny, isn't it?
19:02
Because I'm sure I read, I've read articles about women that
19:05
don't say they're on Manjaro and then they've just had this rapid
19:08
weight loss and, and, and everybody, you know, it's almost
19:12
like it's cool to say you're not on it or whatever.
19:14
I don't know. It's like, why is it I'm called
19:17
talk about it when why shouldn't we talk about it?
19:21
It just seems like where's that one come from?
19:23
It kind of the article kind of starts talking about like the
19:26
darker side of the jabs, but the darker side of the jab seems to
19:30
be. I mean, obviously some people
19:32
get side effects. Some people lose weight too
19:34
quickly and do things like lose their hair as things that we've
19:37
talked about in the past such as like the Backstreet jabs and
19:40
things that putting people's like lives in danger.
19:42
There's the fact that, you know, if people come off the drugs
19:45
completely, some people will regain all the weight, but I
19:49
don't know why. That's my again, what I talked
19:51
about before with it was that this is a, this is a medication
19:55
that, you know, shouldn't be, it's not a trend like it
19:58
shouldn't be a trend. It's a medication that should be
20:01
used for people that need it for, to provide the benefits
20:05
that it provides. And again, if you're a person
20:08
that will regain the weight when you come off of it, maybe it's a
20:12
medication you might have to take for your whole life in like
20:14
lower doses, or you know, it's one of those.
20:17
One of those things that like, what was the reasons that you've
20:19
gained weight? What was the reasons you wanted
20:21
to lose weight? Was it health thing?
20:22
If it's all about getting in a frock, maybe that's the
20:25
embarrassing bit. Like, I don't know, it seems an
20:28
odd thing to have on the list next to Liboo.
20:30
Boos. I think like actually there's
20:32
going to be people listening to this not even knowing what a
20:34
Liboo Boo is. Go Google it.
20:37
A little fluffy. I was going to say Google it
20:40
because they're tiny little ugly teddy bears so they do have
20:43
weird. Teeth and you put them on your
20:45
bags like a bag charm. So you walk around as a adult,
20:49
have to stay and obviously I'm very much you could do what you
20:52
like, wear what you want. But adults walking around with
20:55
kind of ugly teddy bears. That's not what's not what
21:00
bothers me. It's the obsession that bothers
21:02
me. I think the overconsumption of
21:05
like getting them and then not knowing what's in there.
21:07
I think that's probably what bothers me more because I mean,
21:10
I would be perfectly happy to walk around with a ugly teddy
21:13
bear attached. To my handbag.
21:14
So yeah, well, yes, I don't that.
21:16
Kind of person, I don't think. I don't think I've grown up
21:19
properly. So this list, is it real?
21:21
Is it just rage baiting? Is there?
21:23
Anything. I mean, obviously, like anything
21:27
of this, it's an opinion piece. And this is what this person, I
21:30
don't know how cool this person is.
21:31
It's decided these are the lists, so maybe maybe they're
21:35
just not a cool person. And we're just going to be like
21:37
super, super cool with our LA Boo boos and our Stanley Cups
21:41
and our reality TVI don't know, it was reality cool.
21:46
Yeah, apart from the traitors, apparently.
21:48
And asking ChatGPT anything. So let's start with reality TV
21:53
apart from the traitors. Now obviously Traitors is a
21:55
massive hit and it's kind of the cool one or no, not the cool
22:00
one. It's not the intellectual one to
22:02
like, I think because it's about catching people out and it's
22:05
about yes, behaviors. But you're telling me people
22:09
aren't going to watch Mario at first sight Australia that
22:11
starts in January. I like.
22:13
I was going to say what what reality TV do you watch?
22:15
And then I remembered I. Honestly, merit at first sight
22:20
will still have huge viewing figures.
22:22
Love Island, whether you like it or not, will still have huge
22:25
viewing figures. Maybe not with my demographic,
22:28
maybe with a different demographic, but the point is is
22:31
there are you know, I'm A Celebrity did still have view.
22:35
You know, high viewing strictly, you know, these shows they still
22:38
but it's I suppose it's NAF. It's all about it's NAF to say
22:41
you like merit at first sight where I'm like, but I do like it
22:44
because I find it really interesting to watch how people
22:47
behave and how they interact and how things unfold.
22:50
And it's a bit like, you know, when I was at school there was
22:54
loads of drama going on. Obviously not always great
22:56
drama, but now I live at home working as a 53 year old woman.
23:01
It's not a lot of drama. So it kind of where do.
23:02
You get your drama from. It's a bit of drama, but I don't
23:06
know if it's, I mean, it's, I mean, potentially it's always
23:08
been enough. Well, that's.
23:10
The thing is, I think it has always been enough.
23:12
It's like you're it's like you're trash TV, isn't it?
23:15
And the guilty pleasures kind of thing.
23:17
See, I always think, oh, I don't watch reality TV because I don't
23:20
watch love island. I don't watch married at first
23:21
sight. And then I remember that the
23:23
trash TV that I do watch is things like below decks, reality
23:27
TV, selling spelling sunset. Love it.
23:30
Absolutely reality TV. Very much so.
23:35
Even Drag Race reality TV. Yeah, so so I do watch reality
23:40
TV. That's that's a lie.
23:41
I don't watch a lot of the like, really big ones like Love
23:45
Island. Never seen it.
23:46
Married at first sight, never seen it.
23:49
But yeah, I'm if I'm bored I'll happily go.
23:52
Through Netflix looking for people selling expensive houses.
23:55
Basically. Yeah, I potentially that.
23:57
I feel like it's just a bit of a snobby take to put on the list.
24:00
Almost like you know you're, it's not about being NAF.
24:04
I think it's about you. You know, you're just not as
24:06
clever if you watch it or something, you know you're a
24:09
bit. We watch, we watch the traitors.
24:11
That's the clever people. But yeah, I think so we can
24:14
ignore. That you just.
24:15
Want some mental chewing gum? Then you're NAF.
24:17
Exactly. And then ChatGPT, which is
24:19
ridiculous because the whole world, I mean, is, is using AI
24:23
And is it just ChatGPT or is it AI?
24:26
And actually it's a great search engine if you want, you know the
24:30
top 10. I know trends of 25.
24:36
ChatGPT will tell you quickly, whereas they might not get that
24:40
on Google. But apparently it's not enough
24:42
to use ChatGPT. Or is it to hide that you're
24:45
using it? Or to admit I?
24:46
Think it's I think it's enough to admit you're using it, which
24:49
is even worse, isn't it? Because then that's like
24:51
everyone's still going to use it, but they're going to look it
24:54
up now. But the says OK OK let's see
24:56
what they said was wrong with it pressing up to consulting
24:59
ChatGPT, especially when you could have just googled or let's
25:02
face it, engage your brain for 5 minutes.
25:04
Google is the same. It's Google is still a robot in
25:08
a computer. Is using AI basically to
25:11
interpret what you've put in exactly?
25:14
So Google is using AI but before it didn't.
25:17
I think we have to remember that Google isn't a man sitting
25:21
answering all your questions. It's just go.
25:24
And check the. Library encyclopedia and look it
25:27
up. It's still a program.
25:29
It's still used like robot technology.
25:33
I don't, you know, without knowing the insurance and outs.
25:35
So it's not it's not like Google is good and ChatGPT is bad.
25:40
It's still literally robots telling you the answers.
25:43
So is there any, anything on that list that you're going to
25:46
not do in 2026 on the basis that it's embarrassing, Remember, not
25:50
that you're not doing already, but on the basis that the
25:53
Independent says it's embarrassing?
25:54
Because like, it's a water bottle for God's sake.
25:57
I mean, it's like it's a grip. To be fair, I hardly ever take
25:59
water out with me and always forget, so actually having a
26:02
water bottle itself would be good.
26:03
Would be a good start. No, I don't like lists like that
26:07
because although some of them I already agree with.
26:09
But I'll carry on being me. Yeah, I thought I feel in a way
26:13
almost more inclined to do all those things because I am bloody
26:16
minded human being. He's like someone says, oh,
26:19
that's not cool anymore. Then I'm like, watch me, I'm
26:22
going to do it anyway. I expect lots of ugly bears
26:26
hanging off you within a week. Yeah, well, they'll be.
26:29
Cheaper now because they're not cool anymore.
26:33
So our things, our list of things that aren't cool in 2026,
26:39
the Friday I'm in bed list of things that aren't cool in 2026
26:43
Is pretending to be someone you're not an overconsumption?
26:46
Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:51
Solved. Now I want to talk about an
26:53
article or multiple articles that came out before Christmas
26:56
around the concept of women in the UK being too posh to push.
27:02
Basically the stats have come out for C sections and 42% of
27:08
births in the UK are via C-section and back in like 5
27:13
years ago it was 29%. So it's jumped up significantly.
27:17
And obviously this was revealed and then the media jumped on it
27:22
and instead of saying this is interesting, women are choosing
27:26
or being told to have more C sections, you know, it's risen.
27:30
I wonder why they've jumped straight to, but we're lazy and
27:36
we are too posh to push. And what's inferior?
27:39
Well, many things have infuriated me about this.
27:42
I mean, first of all, let's just put it out there.
27:45
C sections are not the easy choice because, you know, yes,
27:50
you are. You don't have a vaginal burst.
27:52
You have a sister, you know, a cesarean section.
27:55
But it's major surgery. You have, it takes a lot longer
27:59
to recover. It's it's a big thing.
28:01
So it's not a decision that anybody takes lightly.
28:04
But it was the whole Too Posh to push.
28:07
So too Posh to push was a headline in 1999 when Victoria
28:13
Beckham had AC section for reasons unknown.
28:16
Because it's none of our business, funnily enough.
28:20
But yeah, she was too posh to push.
28:21
And obviously that was a clever take on being Posh Spice.
28:24
But here we are in 2025 with the same headline and I am so
28:29
blipping cross about this, but I wanted to talk about it.
28:33
So yeah, to push. The stats I saw were actually
28:37
that 42% was like 2324 and that now it was actually 45%.
28:44
So it was like the increase that they were that they were going
28:47
on about. And it's a big increase from
28:49
five years ago, obviously. So it.
28:50
When it was in the 20%, yeah. However, the other thing that I
28:54
saw was that age played a part in that and actually women were
28:59
having children later in life and that the older they got, the
29:03
more likely they were to have AC section, which kind of makes
29:07
sense because they're more likely to have a women over 40.
29:11
It was like nearly 60% I think. And the older you get, the more
29:14
likely you are to have like a more complex pregnancy or more
29:18
complex, more complex birth cough say that 10 times fast
29:22
absolutely. And therefore be more likely to
29:24
need AC section. So the suggestion this was all
29:27
led by people choosing as the major surgery over over a
29:34
vaginal birth was not necessarily true.
29:38
It was it could have been more C sections are actually necessary
29:41
and that we were saving the lives of mothers and babies.
29:45
Exactly. And when you obviously we don't
29:48
know why Victoria Beckham had AC section and as I said, it's none
29:52
of our business, but what I did manage to find out was she was
29:55
told it would be safer for her and baby, which is the main
29:58
reason why women choose to have AC section or are told to have
30:03
one. I also read that there's an
30:05
increase in diabetes, increase in obesity potentially meant
30:09
that there was greater risk. But again, what I was reading
30:12
was they kind of in some of the things I read, it was almost.
30:14
Almost like we don't know, it could be this, it could be this,
30:16
it could be this, it could be a bit of all of this, but
30:18
ultimately women are too lazy. Like literally this is, see, to
30:23
me, the whole take on this, the minute these stats come out is
30:26
very much tied into how they treat all women's healthcare
30:30
because it's, I mean, you say a lot, don't you?
30:33
Like, if men had babies, yeah, weird.
30:36
There'd be a flap in stools by now.
30:39
Exactly. So much research we would be
30:43
like wow, this hurts too much we'll have to sort this out like
30:47
and the same. They talk with it about periods
30:49
if men bled every month that would have would have solved
30:52
that problem by now. The male contraceptive pill that
30:55
was rejected because of the amount of side effects that it
30:58
caused. And you go, oh, really?
30:59
Because how it causes none at cool.
31:02
It's absolutely fine. Um, so yeah, to me it's very
31:05
much tied into that whole kind of attitude that somehow women
31:08
are supposed to be like earth mothers with their feet in the
31:11
grass just popping out babies 1 by 1.
31:13
Yeah. And I think it's, it's also that
31:16
people, men and the medical world don't want women to have
31:20
bodily autonomy because actually there are women that choose the
31:25
elect to have AC section. They learn and understand the
31:30
risks versus the benefits and they make an informed choice.
31:34
Many are because their first birth or a previous birth was
31:38
incredibly traumatic, not just because it would hurt a little
31:41
bit, which is what the like the kind of the, the, the kind of
31:45
the feel you, you, the vibe you get from the things you read.
31:48
You know, they're, they're electing because of previous
31:52
trauma, all sorts of different reasons and.
31:54
Yet. That's not enough, you know,
31:57
like that's not good enough that you are choosing that when
32:00
actually I am a human being, I am an adult, I am going to be a
32:06
mother and I'm going through, you know, a big thing, which is
32:10
labour, full stop. However it happens and I should
32:13
be allowed to make choices about my own body.
32:17
But I feel like again, that's being 2025, we all 2026 and this
32:22
going out, we don't kind of still we're not allowed those
32:25
choices. Do you feel that?
32:27
I mean, you've talked about it even with the board autonomy of
32:30
going to the doctor and saying I've got a bad back.
32:33
This is more I think you know, and it's like, no, no, no, you
32:36
know, like go away. Yeah, though it's that having
32:40
trust in your own body and knowing what you want isn't.
32:43
I know. I mean in the other direction,
32:46
women who don't want children face exactly the same, exactly
32:50
the same thing. I didn't want children when I
32:51
was a teenager. I didn't want children in my
32:54
20s. I don't remember any time in my
32:58
life that I ever wanted children, but if I never did it
33:00
because I also didn't want major surgery.
33:02
But there are women who've gone and asked for hysterectomies and
33:06
been and been refused. And I also know, yeah, women who
33:10
are having major health issues, things like endometry, would ask
33:13
for a hysterectomy and be refused on the basis that they
33:17
might want children and that kind of.
33:20
Or the even. Worse, a potential future
33:22
partner may want children. Well, again, but it's back to
33:26
that bodily economy that we. But yeah.
33:29
But we're not granted that understanding that we may have a
33:34
feeling about what's best for our bodies and not just our
33:36
bodies, but our mental health that it's always about and
33:41
someone else. So when you're having children,
33:44
it's about the children, it's about the, the future child.
33:47
You know, it's that comes back to even things like formula
33:49
feeding and stuff about whether there are reasons that you might
33:52
make a choice, which might be outside of the fact of
33:54
convenience and laziness. Like you should have that that
33:58
ability to make a decision that's best for you, taking into
34:02
account all these other things, rather than having that decision
34:05
made for you. Yeah.
34:06
And one of the things I've read and I want to to remind
34:10
everybody and I need to remind myself because I think, you
34:12
know, this stuff is so ingrained in all of us, is that it's AC
34:16
section or a natural birth. That is the terminology.
34:20
So a natural birth implies by definition that AC section is
34:26
unnatural. So again, it's back to if you
34:29
have the unnatural birth labor, you have somehow failed because
34:35
it's natural. Nobody says, although I think
34:38
there's people are starting to say, but it's a vaginal birth
34:41
versus AC section. And even I myself when I was
34:45
preparing for the podcast kept saying in my head, natural
34:47
birth. And it's like, no, no, stop
34:49
using those words because they're both natural.
34:53
I suppose one, there is intervention, but there's
34:56
intervention in often in a vaginal birth.
34:58
So it's kind of like it's this. Term like like they use like a
35:02
Ventus 4 sets. Exactly.
35:04
And you know, I was chatting, I think to my daughter about this
35:07
and I'm going to, I want to share this because this is like
35:08
proud parent moment because she's doing her GCSE's.
35:12
I was ranting. I often rant.
35:14
You might, you may have noticed I was ranting about the kind of
35:17
natural unnatural. And she went, they even talked
35:20
about it in Macbeth. And I was like, what?
35:22
And then I was like I. Knew I'd seen this.
35:24
Somewhere recently, but she was like, they even talked about in
35:28
Macbeth because Macbeth was told that he couldn't be killed by
35:31
somebody that was born from a woman.
35:33
So therefore he was like, hey, I can't be, I'll be killed.
35:36
This is literally how she was. I can't be killed.
35:38
And then he was killed by Mcduff because he was untimely ripped
35:42
from his mother's womb C-section.
35:44
So therefore, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
35:46
But the point was we were even calling it unnatural in
35:51
Shakespeare's time. So I don't know when he wrote my
35:53
best late 1700s, early 1800s ish.
35:56
That's quite a long. Time he was much earlier than.
36:00
That was it, Google. It he was like, he was like
36:03
Elizabeth. Google it.
36:05
Google it. Elizabethan.
36:07
Yeah, there you go. Where's it 1500?
36:09
Where's public performance 16110?
36:11
I meant early 16. Late 15 got mid centuries wrong.
36:15
Sorry. She is also doing The Tudors.
36:17
So sorry that that is. No, it is 16th century.
36:21
Anyway, the point. Is anyway.
36:24
We digress. How many centuries on it's still
36:28
classed as unnatural to have a C-section and we still have
36:31
headlines saying women are too posh in in brackets lazy to
36:38
push. And yeah, it just made my blood
36:40
boil. And I think it's a really
36:43
worrying trend that is happening around women's reproduction
36:49
rights and autonomy that is happening across the globe.
36:52
And you, it's really easy to sit here and look at America, for
36:55
example, and think, you know, this stuff's happening.
36:59
But our headlines are still kind of saying that you you have
37:02
failed because you have chosen to have a C-section.
37:05
In a little bit more like subtle about it, I think it's one of
37:09
the things that recently I've done a few bits of content about
37:12
the fact that I've chosen to be child free because there was
37:16
obviously I then women do have children in their 40s and that
37:20
choice was taken away from me by my stem cell transplant, which
37:23
put me into medical menopause. So that choice was taken away.
37:27
But I've done a few bits of content recently about the fact
37:29
that I chose to be child free just because sometimes I think
37:32
it's important to have that voice out there that you that
37:36
you have a choice and that you do have choices about what you
37:40
do with your body about whether you choose to have children.
37:43
If you do choose to have children, how you choose to have
37:46
children, where you choose to have children and when you
37:50
choose to have children. So I, I kind of, it's not, I
37:54
have done it. I've meant I've brought it up a
37:55
couple of times in my past as a Blogger and things like that,
38:00
but I've started talking about it a little bit more recently
38:03
just because I, I see in a lot of that kind of, I feel like
38:06
there needs to be an answer to the trad wives.
38:08
Yeah. How?
38:09
Do trad wives give? Birth.
38:11
Do all trad wives give birth? Like in a hay barn or something.
38:15
I really don't know, but then I also think the trad wives or
38:18
some of this stuff is being planted in to offset women like
38:23
you. And I'm saying it is that how
38:26
we're deemed by these people that are really worried?
38:28
So it's like, we'll we'll, I feel like they're plants.
38:31
Do you know what I mean to make? It but I like being that women.
38:35
I'm getting like even more noise.
38:37
Yeah, and the whole giving birth and the hay barn kind of
38:39
concept. I think it even goes down.
38:42
It's not, it's easy for us to say this is men that think we
38:45
must do XY and Z, but actually it's so ingrained in women that
38:49
you know, it's even down to did you have a natural birth?
38:54
Their wording, IE vaginal birth, Yes.
38:57
Did you use drugs? I didn't.
38:59
I went, I went drug free. And it's almost like what you
39:03
want, a little badge because you know.
39:06
Oh, we're back on purity again though, aren't we?
39:09
Yeah, and it's like. Like to be the best type of
39:12
woman, you have to have like experienced the whole range of
39:17
these things completely naturally, without any help,
39:19
without drugs, without. Which which I'm almost I'm
39:23
almost speechless in in respect and that.
39:27
Dear Listeners is impressive. Ridiculous though, isn't it?
39:31
Because you know if you give birth and you don't need drugs
39:36
and everything is complication free, there are no
39:39
complications. Great.
39:40
If you give birth and you need drugs because it freaking hurts
39:45
or there is a complication or it goes on too long, great.
39:49
Like it doesn't matter. As I said, you don't get a
39:51
badge, do you? And then and your children
39:54
aren't, your children aren't any better.
39:58
It's just like, I don't know, it's pitting women against
40:01
women, and unfortunately, we know.
40:05
That women do that, and they do that because they are believing
40:09
all the stuff they have read throughout their entire lives,
40:13
you know, even back to 1999 when Posh Vice had.
40:18
Yeah, it's so ingrained that we find it really hard to let go of
40:23
it. And therefore we judge women,
40:26
judge other women for choosing not to have a child or choosing
40:30
to have AC section or choosing loads of drugs when you have
40:34
when you do give birth, you know, like, but why?
40:36
Why do we stop? That was very eloquent,
40:41
especially that last bit. You know what I mean?
40:43
And it's it's internalized misogyny, absolutely.
40:47
And, and the structures of medicine of all of that, that
40:51
kind of like this kind of, they're talking about the kind
40:55
of childbirth things specifically rather than women's
40:58
healthcare specifically. There's two kind of sides to it.
41:01
I think there's this kind of thing where like there was a
41:03
point when there was like a medicalization of childbirth.
41:07
So it was a thing that had become a medical procedure.
41:11
You know, you have to have a child in hospital lying on your
41:14
back, which may not necessarily be the best position to do this
41:17
in, Like. And then there was a kind of
41:19
pushback against it that I kind of saw where, you know, things
41:23
like birthing balls and home births, a water band.
41:27
Yeah, water births and doulas rather than midwives or a
41:31
midwife rather than a doctor started to become more of a way
41:36
of doing things. It was like a pushback against
41:38
that kind of medicalization of it.
41:41
And that medicalization was very typically kind of male lead.
41:45
So it and then now it feels like we're going back in the other
41:49
direction where we're kind of pushing for that that
41:52
medicalization again, but also still demonizing it.
41:55
So it's like you can't win, we can't win.
42:00
And we just wish that there was some nuance that we could have
42:02
here where you could go perfectly capable of having a
42:05
child. Other women have done it.
42:07
However, it's excellent that we have all of these amazing new
42:11
medical things so that when something goes wrong, we don't
42:14
have, we don't lose mothers and babies.
42:17
We can turn to these amazing medical procedures that we have
42:22
invented. But also again, there's so much
42:26
isn't there? It's just, you know, like it's
42:28
good that we can turn to these things, but also there is, there
42:31
shouldn't be any shame in making a choice that's best for you and
42:35
your life when those choices exist if you're aware of all the
42:40
risks. So I mean, there's that thing,
42:41
isn't there where they say women choose to book in AC section so
42:45
that it doesn't affect their career.
42:46
So because they know when they're having a baby and you
42:48
go, well, So what is their career?
42:51
They worked really hard for it, like.
42:53
And it would be great to know, know the exact date and time
42:55
you're having your baby. It would be really convenient,
42:57
particularly because we don't have a lot of maternity pay, you
43:01
know, things like that. It would be really helpful
43:04
because then you know when to leave work and you can plan, you
43:07
know, our lives. Often we've got other children
43:10
to look after as well. I want to pick up on use one
43:14
word, which I think is so important.
43:16
And that's the word shame. And I think back to men.
43:21
Women, Do men feel shame? Do women feel shame?
43:24
Are we supposed to feel shame? I feel like so much of this is
43:27
around. We are supposed to feel shame
43:30
all the time. We're shame.
43:31
We're ashamed if we do this, we're ashamed if we do that, we
43:33
shame. If we do the other, we shame.
43:34
If you don't have children, you're shame.
43:35
If you go back to work too early, you're ashamed.
43:37
If you work right up until the birth, you're ashamed If you
43:39
have AC sex, you're ashamed if you have gas and air, you're
43:41
ashamed if you don't. Like literally leave us alone.
43:46
But where does it come from? Like what is the benefit to
43:49
society because to shame women or to create an A space where we
43:56
feel shame whatever we choose like.
43:58
I don't know. Keeps us in our place, I
44:02
suppose. Yeah, maybe that's as simple as
44:04
it as it is keeps us quiet because we have all this guilt
44:09
because of all this shame. I feel like.
44:13
We can't take over the world, can we, if we're feeling all
44:15
this? It's quite difficult as kind of
44:18
and I know that Ladek culture and all that was very
44:22
problematic and you know, and the Spice Girls girl power up.
44:25
I know there's a lot of problematic nurse there.
44:28
But again, excellent English. I did do some English at the
44:33
university. They'll be so proud of me.
44:37
But it's quite sad to watch it because I did live through all
44:40
of that and I did live through all of this kind of like
44:44
powerful women thing. And it is quite sad to watch
44:48
some of that being rolled back now that I'm a grumpy old
44:52
middle-aged lady. It's, it's kind of you think, do
44:56
we take all these little steps forward just to take some back
44:59
and are we getting a little bit further forward every time or
45:02
are we just sliding back to where we started?
45:04
I don't know. And then that brings me back to
45:07
mothers, I think as well, and fathers, that it's really
45:10
important that we bring up the next generation to think for
45:14
themselves and to have bodily autonomy in every sense from
45:19
consent to health and to understand them, you know,
45:23
mental health and, and just that you have the power to say no or
45:30
yes. You don't have to do everything
45:33
the way it's always been done. And I think there is such a move
45:36
with the Gen. Z culture population, even
45:40
generation who are so many are rejecting, rejecting, rejecting.
45:45
And and I think maybe that's why we are going backwards a bit
45:48
because people are seeing these young people going, no, I don't
45:52
want a nine to five. I don't, I don't want to have
45:54
the same job for the rest of my life.
45:56
I don't want to work and then retire.
45:57
I don't like I don't, I'm worried about the planet.
46:00
I want, I don't want to get married.
46:02
I don't want a baby. Look, they're saying, you know,
46:04
they're actually and that's quite secondary, isn't it?
46:06
To some people, the stage is quite, but we won't be the
46:10
people that are so worried probably won't be around when
46:12
they're all 40 anywhere like it like it's us.
46:14
No, let's just you know, we are we are evolving and I think
46:18
that's quite exciting, but it does rely on parents as well
46:22
empowering their kids that you can, you know, so went back to
46:26
my daughter and Macbeth and getting all cross about it.
46:29
I was a bit like, well, first of all, I was like, yes, you're
46:31
quoting Macbeth and your GCSE is in like 5 minutes, but great.
46:37
You've, you've, you're reading something at school and you're
46:40
equating it to modern life and how wrong it is.
46:42
And so, you know, positives. And again, critical analysis of
46:48
headlines and stories is important because the numbers
46:52
behind those statistics, sometimes the headline
46:54
statistics are quite often very different to what the headline
46:57
is trying to tell you. Yes, because to be fair, when I
47:01
saw it, first of all was like after I got over my annoyance
47:04
was, you know, I'm presuming it's like 90% as well.
47:07
I mean, so it's less than half. Still, it is on the rise for a
47:11
number you know, and then you have to ask yourself, is it on
47:13
the rise and it are these. Things when you can.
47:15
Dig into it exactly. So you can dig into it and you
47:19
can see that a reason is a trend towards women having children
47:22
later or like, yeah, that kind of.
47:24
Exactly. So, yeah, too posh to push.
47:27
What a load of tosh. Yeah, I don't think I have an
47:31
answer to this one apart from it's nonsense.
47:34
Yeah. Agree.
47:35
Last thing we were going to talk about today is yesterday I saw
47:40
the OED word of the year has come out that Oxford English
47:45
Dictionary has named rage bait as its word of the year.
47:50
I think last year it was brain rock, which is yeah, fine.
47:54
And goblin mode has also been one of their words of the year,
47:59
which is that's when you're like, I'm going to hunker down.
48:01
I think that was like a post pandemic but this year.
48:06
Rage bait. So let's talk about rage bait.
48:12
What is rage bait Jen? Yeah, OK.
48:15
Thanks. Rage bait.
48:18
So rage bait is a social media Internet kind of term.
48:23
I guess it's like when you, you, the headlines are specifically
48:26
designed to make you angry or people put content out there
48:30
that they know is going to make people angry and will therefore
48:34
bait people into engaging with their content.
48:37
Because the platforms that you're on will pay for
48:40
engagement for a lot of these people.
48:42
And they don't care whether it's people telling you how lovely
48:46
you are or that you're an idiot. So, so you can bait people in by
48:50
making them angry and they feel like they have to comment.
48:54
And that would be a rage bait thing.
48:56
I have to confess to occasionally falling into that
49:00
trap a little bit myself. So when I put together the reels
49:04
for this podcast, sometimes you can pick like a phrase out of
49:08
context and you go, that sounds really bad out of context.
49:12
What if that makes people really, really, really angry?
49:15
And I always try and put a little bit of the context in,
49:19
but it is so tempting to use the controversial bits that, you
49:23
know, are going to like pull people in a little bit, whether
49:27
it's positive, you know, or negative that they feel like
49:30
that they want to engage with it.
49:32
And I think it can be a bad thing, but it's also marketing.
49:38
Yeah, exactly. You, you want to engage people.
49:41
And if that's the only thing that's engaging people at the
49:43
moment, what? What's the answer?
49:46
I'm not a fan and I think it's because people argue with me on
49:51
my content, whatever my content is.
49:54
And as much as I'd like to say I've got a thick skin, it does
49:58
affect me and I can get thousands of comments regularly.
50:01
I get thousands of comments and when they're nasty or cross or
50:05
angry or frustrated, like it affects me.
50:09
And so, you know, I sometimes think I could do that a bit more
50:13
to draw debate or but I hate it. Like I've actually got a post at
50:17
the moment and everyone's arguing on in and I just don't,
50:21
I kind of can't deal with it. I've also noticed there's a rise
50:25
of people making content that's incorrect.
50:28
There's one at the moment going round that says New Year's Day
50:32
will be the first day in like forever, where it will be the
50:35
first of the first of the first, which obviously is wrong because
50:38
it's the first of the first of 26.
50:41
So of course there's thousands of people going, you're wrong,
50:44
you're wrong and they know they're wrong.
50:46
And then I think, is this really where we've got to, we're
50:50
creating content that is so obviously wrong so that people
50:53
tell us we're wrong and we get loads of clicks and, and
50:57
comments. It's like really, really.
51:00
That makes me, that fills me with rage.
51:02
Yeah, so it's working. Yeah, but I don't answer.
51:06
I don't comment because they want me to comment.
51:09
They want me to say you're wrong.
51:11
And then and I can see through it and it drives me crazy.
51:14
So I kind of, I don't like it. I don't like, I like my content
51:17
to be correct, but I also don't want division.
51:20
Like I don't like it. No, I, I have to say I don't
51:24
either. There was particularly back in
51:25
my blogging days, there were times that I wrote articles that
51:29
people disagreed with. And I'm not like, I don't mind a
51:32
bit of bit of disagreement. There was, I think I've what
51:35
about vintage feminism once I'm almost loathed to bring it up
51:38
now on the basis that it upset me so much.
51:41
The arguments about a lot of it. I wouldn't say now if I were to
51:46
write the article again, just going to say this is like 15
51:49
years ago probably. But there were a lot of
51:52
arguments and people got quite angry in the comments and then
51:54
they took to Twitter at the time and slagging off the article and
51:58
I got really, really, really upset.
52:01
However, sometimes I think where there's, if you know, you've put
52:05
something controversial out there, it's less upsetting when
52:10
people find it controversial. Whereas I wasn't trying to be
52:14
controversial when I wrote. Yeah, and.
52:17
I completely innocently put it out there, not realizing that it
52:20
was going to make a lot of people kind of angry and
52:23
therefore it upset me. There was another one once where
52:26
people had to go at me because I put something I wrote an article
52:29
about things to keep from Christmas and one of them was
52:33
kind of eating good stuff like buying the nice cheese rather
52:37
than the low fat cheese. And I and I kind of said
52:40
something like, you know, happy people don't like comfort.
52:43
Eat an entire family size pizza and a bar of chocolate.
52:45
You know, treat yourself to these things all the time rather
52:48
than like, binging on things. And someone got very angry with
52:51
me and decided that I was fat shaming the world, which was
52:55
never my intention at all. Certainly not.
52:58
And again, I got really, really upset because I felt like I'd
53:01
been misunderstood. So maybe what you're saying is
53:04
is rage baiting works when you're doing it on purpose.
53:08
So for example, on every Saturday we put out a nostalgia
53:11
reel. So it's food from the 70s or
53:14
whatever. And first of all, we can't put
53:16
every single food from the 70s into the real.
53:18
But I often miss out stuff because, you know, I've
53:22
forgotten about it or whatever. And I always write at the end,
53:24
what did I miss? And then I get lots and lots of
53:27
comments telling me all the things I missed.
53:29
And sometimes I'm like, I should have put that in.
53:31
But then it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
53:33
The fact that I've missed out things is a really good idea
53:37
because people comment, I've got one at the moment, which is
53:39
alcohol. We used to love back in the day.
53:42
And there are some that I missed out.
53:43
Well, there's loads of missed out, you know, that I've got.
53:45
So I mean I've got hundreds and hundreds of comments.
53:48
So in a way I'm kind of baiting, not rage baiting, but I am
53:52
baiting. I know that you're going to give
53:55
me answers, but I think that's clever marketing.
53:58
I think baiting is, but rage baiting feels very 2025 and you
54:04
know, the whole, you know, hot take.
54:06
I know. What do they say on threads?
54:07
Unpopular opinion. You might think this is an
54:10
unpopular opinion, but then they say their thing, which is an
54:13
unpopular opinion, which will be something like women should pay
54:16
for period products or you know, something's good for you that we
54:20
know is not or something you know like and they know it's
54:22
gonna. And if you have to start a tweet
54:25
or whatever with unpopular opinion, then you're.
54:29
Yeah, I agree. I think again, I'm sorry, I'm
54:31
just a big pause here while I put my thoughts together into a
54:34
coherent sentence rather than rambling.
54:36
I prefer to have like positive engagement.
54:39
And I think that that was one of the things that I've always
54:41
liked about social media and about I've been, both of us have
54:45
made this an aspect of our jobs in some way, creating a
54:49
community and engaging people in conversation.
54:52
But I, I think that I would, I always prefer it to be positive.
54:55
I want to encourage people to say I've never thought about
54:58
things that way or I've never looked at it like that.
55:01
And I think it's a kind of demonstration.
55:05
Rage bait is kind of a demonstration of the way
55:08
Internet and social media culture seems to be going where
55:13
people just want to be angry all the time.
55:16
And that was one of the reasons that I stopped using Twitter or
55:20
X or whatever it's called years ago is because it seemed to be
55:23
just full of people trying to find something to be angry
55:26
about. And every time you made some
55:27
kind of innocent status statement, people would get
55:31
angry with you about it. And that's one of the reasons I
55:33
stopped using Twitter long before it became X.
55:36
So is Instagram going the same way now?
55:39
Is Tiktok going the same way? Is that rage baiting?
55:43
Is it just because of the kind of oversaturation of these
55:46
platforms? But then I think you can also,
55:50
you can align it to the media as a whole.
55:54
So, you know, we've talked about too posh to push.
55:57
That made me so angry. I talked about it on my podcast.
56:00
They have rage baited me, surely.
56:03
Well, then the tabloid press, they love doing that.
56:06
So it's not really a new thing. The tabloids been doing it
56:09
forever and a day. But it's, yeah, I think it's a
56:12
sign of where we're coming to. And it would be amazing if the
56:15
word for the following year, 2027, is a little bit more
56:19
positive because if rage baiting is the word of the year, yes, we
56:23
are or society people are rage baiting.
56:27
But we, by making it the word of the, I feel like it, we're
56:29
almost celebrating it a bit. So that brings me nicely on to
56:33
the other word of the year that I think was the Cambridge
56:36
dictionary, which is parasocial, which I think is, I think you've
56:41
just got the definition up. But basically when you are
56:44
obsessed with a celebrity. Yeah it's like A1 sided
56:47
relationship I think I looked it up.
56:49
Parasocial denotes a relationship characterized by A1
56:53
sided, unreciprocated sense of intimacy felt by a fan or
56:58
follower for a well known or prominent figure, typically A.
57:01
Idea celebrity. So basically it's as it like pre
57:04
stalker, but it's funny that again, so it's been given a new
57:07
name pro social. It was a Stan, which is
57:10
obviously after the Eminem song Stan, where it's a super
57:14
obsessed fan drug stalker and it now has a new name.
57:17
So that's great. We just we need more words.
57:20
Oh, sure. So I think we should end this
57:22
podcast by asking or working out if you were to have a parasocial
57:27
relationship with anybody, or maybe you do, who would it be?
57:31
And why? See, it's supposed to be that
57:33
someone that you've you, you don't.
57:35
They are basically entirely unaware of your existence.
57:37
Well, yes, a celebrity, but you think you think they're your
57:41
friend. Here is my here's my imaginary
57:44
friend. Then.
57:44
Is that essentially what we're asking?
57:46
Imaginary friend that actually exists.
57:48
That's famous. Yeah.
57:51
I don't know. No, I don't know now either.
57:55
I'm. Safe, I'm safe from random
57:57
obsessions. I get quite obsessive, but not
58:00
in AI think they're my friend, you know like it might be a band
58:05
or a singer or but you know, this whole like they're my
58:08
friend. That's weird, isn't?
58:09
It it's interesting because I feel like it probably happens
58:11
quite a lot with social media again, because it's another kind
58:16
of social media term, isn't it? Because you see these things of,
58:20
of people's real life wives, you know, I mean, I don't follow an
58:24
awful lot of celebrities. Victoria Beckham is the one of
58:26
the ones that I do follow. But you know, when you're like,
58:28
oh, this is, you know, you're seeing them sat on the sofa
58:31
watching TV or something like that.
58:33
And, you know, or was it, I think she put a video up of
58:36
David Beckham hunting around in the bushes for a dog poo or you
58:39
know what I mean? You're seeing that real life
58:40
rather than that like polished media personality.
58:44
It's it's that's where that line gets blurred, isn't it?
58:47
And you start to be a bit more like, Oh yeah, well, the other
58:49
day this celebrity said this and maybe.
58:51
You do have a parasocial relationship.
58:53
Maybe you're unaware of it when it's a parasocial relationship.
58:56
I think you maybe talk about them in that way.
58:58
So, oh, did you see, you know, David Beckham was like pouring
59:01
his honey out and he's got honey now, as you know, like, for
59:05
example. And you talk about them as if
59:07
they're your friends, but you just follow them on social.
59:11
And as you said, because they share their lives, you feel that
59:15
you know them more than you would have done 20 years ago
59:17
when you only like, read an interview in the paper or
59:20
whatever. So you kind of talk about them
59:22
in that way, which makes you sound what, slightly deluded
59:25
because as if you were there when he was doing his
59:28
beekeeping, for example. Is he?
59:31
Is he keeping bees or did you just make?
59:33
That up. No, no, no, no, he doesn't.
59:35
I have a parasocial relationship with David Beckham and he likes
59:38
growing vegetables. He grows vegetables.
59:41
He has it, does beekeeping. Victoria actually made a video
59:44
of him pouring his first lot of honey and was said it's David's
59:47
sticky stuff and it went viral obviously, but I'm now talking
59:51
about it your friend. Your friend Vic.
59:54
My friend Victoria, because I follow her too, and I found that
59:57
one of the children too. So yeah, they're like my
1:00:00
friends, yeah. You have that insight into their
1:00:02
life. You know where they do their
1:00:03
shopping. You must be.
1:00:05
And they live near, they live in Hertfordshire, so they don't
1:00:07
live so far. And so yeah, we, I have a
1:00:09
parasocial relationship with them.
1:00:11
Yeah. So that that must be that is
1:00:13
your para social. Relationship.
1:00:15
But that actually does sum it up, doesn't it?
1:00:17
It's that knowing and seeing and talking about them.
1:00:20
Like I could just then talk about them as if they were like
1:00:25
friends of mine. Yeah, but I think it's a very
1:00:27
easy line to blur as well. With influences.
1:00:30
We're back on them again. Is that saying where they're
1:00:33
kind of just normal people, you know, especially people that
1:00:37
don't have that kind of glossy influence of persona, what
1:00:39
people that are a bit more kind of messy, like I guess it's
1:00:44
yeah, it's easy to kind of fall into that trap of being like, we
1:00:48
were talking about this the other day and actually you
1:00:50
weren't talking about this. There was.
1:00:52
Yeah, and I think people, I have this, obviously I've got a big
1:00:56
community and a lot of them think of me as their friend.
1:01:00
And obviously that's what you want that you know you want.
1:01:03
It's a community, but then people talk to me like they know
1:01:06
me. So I got, I shared my husband
1:01:08
made a fish pie the other day and I posted it on, you know,
1:01:12
look, look, he's made a fish pie.
1:01:14
And somebody sent me a message saying, well, my, my fish pie is
1:01:17
better than your husband's fish pie.
1:01:19
And I was a bit like, what have you tasted?
1:01:22
My husband's fish pie. Like it for you.
1:01:25
And I know it, you know? And then she was like, well, I
1:01:27
use Jamie Oliver's recipe and that's better than your
1:01:29
husband's fish pie. And I was like, what?
1:01:31
But I think, I don't think it came from any place.
1:01:34
I mean, it's not obviously the biggest issue in the world.
1:01:36
But it was. Just the way she was talking to
1:01:38
me, like she was round last week and had the fish pie, you know,
1:01:41
And it's that kind of, but I want people to think that they
1:01:44
know me. Do you know what I mean?
1:01:46
Because you're creating that kind of community.
1:01:48
But then they talk to me like they literally were round last
1:01:51
week and it's like I'm confused. I've got this because you had
1:01:54
been only for so many years. I absolutely love it when I post
1:01:59
stuff now and people say to me, oh, I've been following you
1:02:02
since kind of retro chick years. Like, you know, back in like the
1:02:05
early 2000 and 10s. I've got the same thing where
1:02:08
I've got this like a much smaller group, but a group of
1:02:11
people who followed me for years and years and years.
1:02:13
But I recognize a lot of their names when they communicate and
1:02:16
they leave comments and things like that.
1:02:18
But they know a lot more about my life than I know about their
1:02:22
life because they're not terrible chronic over share over
1:02:25
sharers on the Internet. So so I guess that is that kind
1:02:29
of 1 sided relationship. It's not necessarily that it's
1:02:32
deluded like these people I, you know, I recognize, however, I
1:02:37
don't see their entire lives. And you know, I might recognize
1:02:40
their name when they comment or a profile picture when they
1:02:43
comment a lot because they've been part of my life for like 50
1:02:46
years or whatever. But they might recognize me in
1:02:49
the street and I wouldn't. So our relationship is probably
1:02:52
more 1 sided. I did because because I'm the
1:02:55
one that's the chronic over sharer and insists on posting
1:02:58
photographs of myself drinking coffee every morning, whereas
1:03:01
they probably post a photograph on Instagram once a year or
1:03:05
something like that. So you don't get that
1:03:08
reciprocity. Reciprocity.
1:03:10
Word of the day. Of the relationship, I'm proud
1:03:14
of that I'm. Taking that with me for New
1:03:15
Year's Eve. Using reciprocity in a sentence,
1:03:18
I think. You're right.
1:03:19
And even I'll talk about somebody I know on the Internet.
1:03:23
So I don't know them. They're not my friend.
1:03:26
They're my Internet friend and they might not even be my
1:03:28
Internet friend. They might be somebody I follow.
1:03:30
But I will say, oh, my friend or you know, I still, I don't know
1:03:35
if you sort of refer to them and then you have to say, well, I
1:03:38
know well, they're not my friend.
1:03:38
They're somebody that I talked to occasionally on Instagram.
1:03:43
They're not my. Friends have no idea who I am
1:03:45
really. So yeah, parasocial.
1:03:49
So maybe a parasocial relationship, maybe it's just a
1:03:53
new form of relationships that we are forming in the Internet
1:03:55
age where rather than it being nearly stalker or Stan or
1:04:00
something, maybe it's more benign than that, that it is
1:04:05
just that thing where you know, you've got that insight into
1:04:07
people's lives and it's more of a like kind of benign rather
1:04:11
than negative. So it can be a positive impact
1:04:14
in people's lives to have these parasocial relationships as long
1:04:17
as they don't tip over into Dan. Yeah, and as long as you're not
1:04:21
having a parasocial relationship with somebody that rage baits,
1:04:27
because then it just would be an arguing relationship, it would
1:04:30
be a positive. Relationship.
1:04:32
Yeah, OK. That's the energy I am bringing
1:04:35
into 2026. Positive.
1:04:37
Positive. Relationships.
1:04:39
No liboo boos, no liboo boos, no Brazilian Butler.
1:04:44
Well I will see you next week and we will be chatting about
1:04:47
some more things that have pushed our buttons and rage
1:04:50
baited us to chat about. See you then.
1:04:53
Happy new year. Happy New Year, thank you for
1:04:59
joining us for another round up of midlife chat, hot takes and
1:05:02
occasional moaning. Well, quite a bit of moaning.
1:05:05
Make sure you hit subscribe so your podcast app gently nudges
1:05:08
you every Friday because honestly, who remembers anything
1:05:11
without a reminder this day? And also we like people liking
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us because we're very needy. And if you fancy being extra
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lovely, leave us a rating or a review.
1:05:20
It helps more brilliant women like you find us.
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Have a great weekend everyone and make sure you find time for
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yourself. You deserve it.