Latest / Everyone's A Critic / Johnny English w/ Ania Magliano

Transcript

Johnny English w/ Ania Magliano · Everyone's A Critic

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to everyone the critics.
0:02
SPEAKER_02: The show where a guest picked a movie rated below 40% on Rotten Tomatoes and tells us why critics got it wrong.
0:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Yannis Cove, a formerly pretentious film school student.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: Ten years later sees the error of his ways.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: My guest today is comedian and writer Anya Magliano.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Hello, thank you so much for having me.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing today?
0:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm good.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm honestly so pleased to finally have an outlet to talk about this film.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: I feel like this is like a long time coming.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: I actually was thinking about this and I was like, in past relationships, I've always, if they haven't seen Johnny English, I've always made them watch it.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: Really?
0:45
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I feel like I've kind of been preparing for yeah, that actually and I am currently single, so clearly that's not a good thing to be doing.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need to make them watch the sequels as well.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: That's so true, actually.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Because I do think, even though I know we're only talking about Johnny English one, the sequels they do a lot of heavy lifting for the franchise as well.
1:07
SPEAKER_02: Really?
1:07
SPEAKER_02: I've never seen the sequels, so I I know nothing about them other than they're like Daniel Calou is in one of them, isn't he?
1:13
SPEAKER_00: Yep, and also the last one, the most recent sequel, which is in 2018, I snuck into the cinema to see illegally, which is obviously bad, and I regret doing that, etc., for the legal people listening.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: But we was actually with an ex, went into sneak snuck into watch it because we were like, oh whatever, we're really hungover.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: And then it turned out the cinema's filled, it was like a Sunday afternoon, it was filled with families, and we just kept having to move seats because people were like, Oh, we booked these seats, and we were like, Oh, okay, uh pretending to look at a ticket.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, we'd never do anything like that now.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm a changed woman.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: Why why did you sneak into it?
1:57
SPEAKER_02: You just didn't want to pay for it.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it was also the thrill.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: It was back when I was like in uni and I used to like think of myself as a bad.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, you're a lot younger than me.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: I just realized that that makes you because 2018 back in uni is.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: I am young, which I guess is like part maybe part of the reason why I still think this is a brilliant film.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was trying to I thought I'd seen this.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: See, here's the thing.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: I thought I'd seen this, first of all, and then I thought I'd seen this in the cinemas, and then I watched it again, I watched it the other day.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: No recollection of anything in this.
2:35
SPEAKER_02: So I was like, maybe I haven't seen this before.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just watched something else with Rowan Atkinson in because it does kind of all merge into one.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: I had no memory of anything in this movie, and I'm sure I really feel like I've seen this before, like when it came out.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: It is a bit like a fever dream.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: I feel like if you read someone the plot off IMDB, they'd be like, Are you high?
2:57
SPEAKER_02: The other weird thing is it was written by the two guys that wrote all of the most recent Bond movies.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: No way, really.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, from like The World Is Not Enough to Now, like they wrote all of those.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, they're so versatile.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: In the middle of it, they wrote Johnny English.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe I didn't know that.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: I literally read the IMDB trivia just like out of I love reading IMDB trivia whilst I'm watching stuff.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that wasn't on that.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: That's like such a crucial bit of trivia that they missed out because they were like, oh, he drives a car.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, I was reading, yeah, I read that as well, that he drives his real car at one point.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: That's the fact, not what I said, which is which will be a really underwhelming piece of trivia.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: But uh so what is your history with this specific uh Johnny English?
3:47
SPEAKER_02: Did you did did you see it when it first came out, or did you like did you come across it later?
3:53
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I can't remember I don't remember seeing it when it first came out.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: I think I maybe saw number two in the cinemas, but I think I watched the first one with my mum, I want to say, and maybe also with my dad on a different occasion, Parents of Divorce classic.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: Um and I remember it being something that like my parents kind of found as funny as I did when I was watching it, and it was just like this is such a good family rump, like this is literally fun for all the family, we're all having a good time.
4:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I had like really positive memories of it, and then would as I said, like I think when I say I made my exes watch it, what I actually mean is like it's kind of a film that I would sometimes watch in like times of anxiety because it's so stupid, and like I think that's overlapped with a lot of relationships okay.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: This is literally every session.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: This is just you talking about your but your like relationships, your past relationships through them through the medium of Rowan Atkinson.
5:03
SPEAKER_02: Have you made uh this this might be going into too much detail, but feel free to tell me.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: So uh have you made them watch uh any other Rowan Atkinson movies like Mr.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Bean's first movie or okay, I'm so glad that was what the question was because I thought you were gonna say, Have you made love to Johnny English?
5:20
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, No! No.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: No, I never I don't think I even really I think I saw Mr.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: Bean when like it was kind of you know cool to see it at the cinema.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: And it's like everyone was seeing it at the cinema.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: I remember seeing it in the cinema.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: I also remember my dad downloading one of the songs that was in the soundtrack because he was like, That's such a good song.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: It was the song called Crash, and I think it's when Mr.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: Bean is like driving and he like keeps his eyes open with matchsticks, right?
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, which also became like a cultural reference point within my family for every time anyone said they were tired.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I was like, Oh, you should put your eyes open with matchsticks like Mr.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: Bean.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: So you're just a Rowan Atkinson family all around.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, it sounds like it, doesn't it?
6:05
SPEAKER_00: I would never have I would never have said that until now, but now it sounds like I guess because it was just maybe he had that vibe where it wasn't like a mind-numbing film for a parent to watch with their kid.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, so we ended up watching it multiple times.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: I think that's the appeal of him as well, is that he's very like he's fam he's family friendly completely, and uh he's but he's also broad enough that anyone can understand it.
6:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's what it is with him.
6:35
SPEAKER_02: Like any of all of his humour can could appeal to kind of anyone, even if you're an adult, you're kind of like, oh, this is stupid, but it's funny, and then you're a kid, you're just like amazed by anything.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think especially with Johnny English, like I found it funny as a kid because I was like, this man is being silly, but then when you're kind of a bit older and you've seen James Bond, you can actually get that it's the parody of it, and you can understand the tropes that it's parodying a bit more and be like, Oh, some of this is actually quite clever, like it's not just him making stupid noises, which is also a brilliant part of it.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: Well, I have my thoughts about this movie, but we'll we'll get into them like while while we discuss yours.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: I would present this like nothing else.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: How many times have you seen it?
7:22
SPEAKER_02: Do you know?
7:23
SPEAKER_02: Could you guess?
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Could you could you even guess?
7:26
SPEAKER_00: I would guess like above 15.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: Um and season amount.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to the point that like I was thinking, like, oh, should I re-watch it before this?
7:39
SPEAKER_00: And I like opened it on Netflix, got like two minutes in, and I was like, wait, I literally know this film so well.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Why am I re-watching?
7:46
SPEAKER_00: I just like did that thing where you like drag like drag through it and just all the scenes, and that bit I basically re-heard it all in my head just from like scrubbing through it, um, which is actually the saddest thing I've ever said to anyone.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: I did see your Instagram last night, and it was just like uh you you like putting the song up from the opening credits, you're like, it's iconic or something like that.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's a banger, I think is what I said.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: A banger, yeah.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: I watched the opening credits and then got to the scene where the crown jewels get stolen, and I was like, I genuinely think I'd be able to like blind tell you exactly what happens after that.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: Like if I didn't need to re-watch it.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: It's amazing.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's such a good opening song, like it's genuinely so good.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: After I posted that on Instagram, one of my friends messaged me to be like, This song is so good.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: I rewatched this film the other day with my family, and I found the song on Spotify.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: That's really interesting.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: I I don't like I yeah.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: It it just kind of like when I was watching it, it just kind of passed me by.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: I didn't really think anything of it.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Go back and listen to Was it Is it the Robbie Williams one?
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Is it Robbie Williams?
8:57
SPEAKER_02: There's a Robbie Williams song in it.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: I know that.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Um I actually can't remember.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: I know it's like a custom built for the film, right?
9:07
SPEAKER_02: I think it's yeah, it's a Robbie Williams song.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: Is it?
9:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Holy shit, this film just keeps getting better.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Because it says something about like uh like oh like uh the pivotal track for uh written by Robbie Williams or something like that.
9:25
SPEAKER_02: It says it in the credits as well.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, does it?
9:28
SPEAKER_00: I was just so zoned in on the streets.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're just watching you're just watching everything, you're just watching the the actual uh visuals.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was just t I was just watching the actual film Call Me Crazy.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: It was during the it's during that montage, isn't it?
9:44
SPEAKER_02: Like the of the opening credits.
9:45
SPEAKER_02: So I'm just like, okay, I know what's going on here, I can I can like look at the credits.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, whereas I I always watch films with the subtitles on as well.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Oh, do you?
9:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I'm a little bit of a bookworm, so I like to read at the same time.
10:00
SPEAKER_02: If I'm not doing work, then it's not enjoyable.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I was also with that, with that recent re-watching of it, I was like, oh my god, these lyrics as well.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: Love it.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: What a piece of art.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: Wait, so what can you remember what the lyrics were?
10:17
SPEAKER_02: Or can you remember any of it?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: They call him a man for all seasons.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: It's like a man for all seasons who loves them and leaves them alone.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: I think it like almost sounds like it could plausibly be an actual Bond season.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: That really does sound like a Bond theme.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's definitely a line about have a closed in my head.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: I can hear it properly, but I'm such a bad singer that like I'm like, don't even try this.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: I didn't I didn't ask you to sing it.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: No, I know you didn't, and I didn't, I knew I didn't need to do it, but something within me was telling me to do it, and I had to rein that back in.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: Uh so let's so the basic premise before we like properly get into it, the basic premise, it's it's a it's a s uh a spoof of a bond film, essentially.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: So it's just um the premise is that all of the MI7 agents, I think it's MI7, isn't it?
11:16
SPEAKER_02: They call them.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: It's it's not MI5, I know that.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, yeah, because they say it's like, oh yeah, I think it is MI7 and they all get blown up.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they all get blown up.
11:28
SPEAKER_02: Except for except for Johnny English, who's just like uh like he works in the office essentially, but for and he's like not he's not trusted on anything uh for the most part, except for working in the office.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Um but for somehow he's an MI he's an agent.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: I don't really they never really explain that, but um That's just how it works, I guess.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh doesn't need an explanation.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh and there's this guy called um Savage who is um Pascal Savage.
12:01
SPEAKER_02: Pascal Savage, he's he's he's going to take over, he's trying to take over uh the monarchy and replace them with himself.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: And I love it.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: What an what a what a plot to be like will literally lay into the French for a whole film.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: It's literally that, isn't it?
12:23
SPEAKER_02: Okay, isn't it?
12:24
SPEAKER_02: So there's so much like so many jokes about the French and hating the French.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you're like, if this was any other country, no way we would have gotten away with it.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: There's no way at all.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: It's just blatant like French bashing for pretty much 90% of the film.
12:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:43
SPEAKER_02: And then it's also played uh the the Pascal Savage is played by John Malkovich.
12:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:48
SPEAKER_02: Also, not a French man.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: But is there a French accent?
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes, there's a terrible French accent.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so good.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: Also, the the the spy who Johnny English has a romance with is played by Natalie and Bruglia.
13:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: From Torn.
13:06
SPEAKER_02: From Taunt from Torn, yes, the song, the song Torn.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: And again, her maybe her only acting role.
13:15
unknown: I think.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what?
13:17
SPEAKER_00: I also didn't recognise, like, I didn't make that connection until I looked it up and I was like, what the fuck is going on here?
13:24
SPEAKER_00: Like this film has so many Easter eggs that like aren't intentional because you're like, what a melding of minds.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: Also, now we've got Robbie Williams in the picture.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is going on?
13:34
SPEAKER_00: How has this all come together to this like cultural, like this one culture?
13:39
SPEAKER_00: It's so pretty.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: But also, like, Robbie Williams in 2003, when this came out, like that is this is like peak Robbie Williams being on everything, like he was around and like he was just constantly around and in everything.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he had to be involved in some some way, and he was doing that sort of style of like um that Sinatra uh sort of singing at the time, and that's the kind of song he puts into this as well.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: I feel like that's the open that's opening song, is kind of a Sinatra style bomb theme.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I feel like maybe he was to the music world what Timothy Chalamet is to the film world now.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: What a great comparison.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: That was my cult that those are my two cultural references.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Timothy Chalamet.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm a little bit past that Timothy Chalamet culture of uh in literally every film that's coming out, he's like in it playing like a hot boy who's somewhat troubled.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: And he does it well.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: I've seen him in one movie and it's Call Me by Your Name.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's good in that.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: You can't deny it.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: He's good in that.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: He is good, he's good.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Uh I just know everyone's in love with him as well.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he looks like an ex that was horrible to me, like easily treat me the worst out of anyone in my life, and I'm still looking in and I still like look at him and I'm like, God, you're still somewhat attractive to me.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, how how are you so attractive that you've managed to like overcome these like years of terrible memories and that I don't instantly like vomit when I see your face?
15:27
SPEAKER_00: So I think that's good for him as well.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Like that's impressive.
15:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do also know the thing about him at NYU, which is quite funny.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: Oh, but you gave everyone allegedly chlamydia.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: Uh one of the one of the diseases, one of the big ones.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:45
SPEAKER_02: Just went around spreading it and he didn't even go to NYU.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: But he made his mark.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: He just he very much seems like that kind of person though.
15:57
SPEAKER_02: Like he seems like the NYU type.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: I thought you were gonna say he seems like the type to spread an S.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: You have like serious concerns about me before I speak.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: He's but also like I feel like if he said to me if he I feel like I'm not convinced though, I can't okay, I'm not convinced that he would use protection all the time.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Great, on the same page.
16:39
SPEAKER_02: Moving on from the tangent on Timothy Timothy Chalamet's sexual escapades, um, back to Johnny English and this very pure innocent movie.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm sorry that I took it down that app.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: No, it was me.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: It was me like going on that it was me bringing up his him at NYU.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: Um where were we even?
16:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember where we were talking about all the like cameos in it from like various stars, I guess.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm also doing a summary of the plot.
17:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, well I've I feel like we kind of did the summary, which is just that, yeah, his he has like uh another he has like the the the woman that he that kind of like is with him and assists him to a certain extent, which is Nathalie and Rulia, who uh yeah, it's maybe her only acting role.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't know if she was ever in Neighbours or Home and Away, but maybe.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: I think it might not have been her only one, but it was her career-defining role.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: What I mean by that, yeah, it nobody knows her from anything else in acting role in terms of acting.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: They know her for other reasons, such as Torn.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Such as Torn.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: She has her one big thing for each each uh section of of media.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: And fair play to her.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: I respect that.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: And now I think she like now she moved on to like judging on X Factor at some point, or like one of those show I don't know.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: The classic path.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: That'll be me next.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: That's what you want to do?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: Go for it.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the goal.
18:13
SPEAKER_02: Judge X Factor.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: Have I ever sung a note in tune?
18:17
SPEAKER_00: No, but I can be a judge.
18:19
SPEAKER_00: I can do it.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, having just explained that you cannot sing.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: I reckon I can give it a good go though.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's people on there who judge that cannot sing, so.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: That's very true.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: And I definitely can judge when someone has the X Factor.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: If that yeah.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: That's just one skill I know I have.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm not that self-confident in lots of fields, but in that I think I know and I know that One Direction should have won.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, moving on.
18:51
SPEAKER_02: Again, you're that age where One Direction were huge, so Yeah, they were.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but like two.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, they were to me.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: They were like everything, I imagine.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: Wait, and they weren't to you?
19:06
SPEAKER_02: I was twenty two, twenty-three when they came out.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And you should have got on board, mate.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: It was a good time.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: It's a good hype to be a part of.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: Um sorry, I keep derating this from Johnny English, even though I love Johnny English as much, so I don't know why it's fine.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: There's there's honestly, there's like very little in this movie as well, though, to be honest.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's the French thing.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Wait, I want to see what other notes I made.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: I've made notes about I've gone through we'll go through the plot itself.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: But uh I I just meant like this.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: I feel like we're gonna get through it quite quickly.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go for it.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: So like it opens with uh like a stealth mission.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: And uh like he's do he's doing a stealth mission, Johnny English, and he's like uh he's being very suave and cool, and he like pulls out uh it's like a giant castle type of scene.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: Um he's like about to sneak in and he pulls there's dogs that come out and like start chasing him, he pulls out the dog so he throws it to them.
20:13
SPEAKER_02: Then he like very calmly knocks out two guards um and he immediately gets caught by agent one uh sorry, he gets caught by a woman uh who describes him as agent one and he seduces her.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: And as he's doing that, he wakes up from his fantasy and he's in his office.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: It's a classic pullback and reveal.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: The the fantasy of what he wants to be living and then what he is really living.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's how it started, how it's going.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: That meme, but it's literally that meme.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: It's that meme.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: In fact, it predecessed that meme.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: So in many ways, that meme homage to Johnny English.
20:59
SPEAKER_02: If it weren't for Johnny English, we wouldn't have that meme.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: So I think we should all think before we slander Johnny English.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I should also state this movie has 33% on Rotten Tomatoes uh for the critic score, and it has a 50% audience score.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well there you go.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: Popular vote wins.
21:20
SPEAKER_02: Still not good.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: 50%?
21:24
SPEAKER_02: That's not a positive rating on there.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Is it not?
21:27
SPEAKER_02: No, you have to get 60.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but surely the people who would go to Rotten Tomatoes to review a film don't have the bloody life in them to enjoy picture on English.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: They want everything to be all guns and war and death.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: This is all guns.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this is all guns and death.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Some really bad words for me to pay.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: He does have guns.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: And he does there is it starts with a mass death, which I was watching back and I was like, this is insane.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: That like I feel like nowadays, if someone wrote a script for a film where they were like, it starts with a mass death.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Mass murder of loads of agents, they'd be like, Oh, it's too dark for a kid's film.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: But they were like, No, let's add more.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: But it's the only way to it's also the only way to get such an incompetent agent in there.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Like he has to be some kind of agent, and then there has to be like no other agent that can do it, and that's one of the ways, just kill them all off.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Kill them all off, yeah.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: And I love that they went for that.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: I love that they didn't go, maybe there's another way that's slightly less death, but they were they were like, No, we want the death.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: We're coming in strong, this is what you just deal with it.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's such a good strong opening.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: You know what you're in for.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: You're like, this is ridiculous, it sets the tone.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: It is very ridiculous.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: It did, it does kind of like it.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: Kind of made me laugh because it's so unexpected to kill every one of them off.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think also like that's just a great writing device from the writers.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: There, you can't go back from that.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: From the writers of every James Bond.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: They know what they're doing.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: Imagine if they did that in Bond, they killed off every other agent.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if they did that in James Bond, everyone would be like, what a bold piece of film writing.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: Now I feel like they're gonna oh well no, they won't kill him off, but yeah.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: What actual bonds?
23:17
SPEAKER_02: Just because it's Daniel Craig and he's leaving.
23:19
SPEAKER_02: I was just thinking that, but now but no, they can't kill him off because he's they've got to have a new one.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't work like that.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have to say, I probably know Johnny English a lot better than I know actual bonds.
23:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's interesting, actually.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, how many bonds have you seen?
23:33
SPEAKER_02: Have you seen a lot of the bonds?
23:34
SPEAKER_00: I've seen a lot, I really liked them when I was younger.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: My dad got me the box set for Christmas one year.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I remember that massive box set that they had.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it was just before Daniel Craig was in it.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: And I loved Sean Connery.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: He was my favourite Bond because I think my dad said he was his favourite Bond.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: So I was like, cool, I'll have that opinion as well.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Um and I remember I really liked certain ones and would just watch them loads instead of watching like all of them.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: I remember there was one which I can't remember exactly which one it is, but he's James Bond is like going to sleep in a bed with a lady.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Uh after they could be any one of them.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: Literally anyone, any one of these unnamed women.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: Um he's going to like sleep, I think after they've had some intimate time, and he's like lying down, and she's like curled up to him, and there's a spy in the rafters who like gets a piece of like really thin wire and drops poison down it, and it's gonna go into his mouth, and then he rolls over and it goes into her mouth and she chokes to death.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: And since then, I watched that when I was like seven.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: Since then, I always sleep with the covers over my mouth, just in case.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: You can never be too vigilant.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: You date a lot, you dated a lot of like MI5 agents.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do you know what?
25:01
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm the MI5 agent.
25:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm the I'm the next female Bond.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be the first female Bond, and I'm probably gonna be the first Aquarius Bond.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: So first Aquarius Bond?
25:15
SPEAKER_02: Have you looked it up and found out that then none of them have acquit our Aquarius yet?
25:18
SPEAKER_00: No, I haven't.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: But no none of them and Aquariuses, so that's my niche.
25:27
SPEAKER_02: I I do hate to disappoint you, but apparently there's a a f uh in the new one there's a a female uh Bond character that they're calling her.
25:38
SPEAKER_02: They're calling her fit the female James Bond.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Fuck's sake.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well I guess I'll just stick to comedy then.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Back up plan.
25:46
SPEAKER_02: Stick to what you know.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Wouldn't say I know it, but that's very kind.
25:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh where are we?
25:55
SPEAKER_02: They they yeah, so the Age is a killer in action, then a funeral, and they it's at the most secure location, and then then you see a bomb go off in the background as well.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Um and then it's like straight into so I wrote down, oh, it's going straight into the story here, and um opening montage titles with your favourite song, um which are just like a a bunch of him like I feel like he's getting ready in like in his uh bathroom, isn't it?
26:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like his morning routine bars.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he's getting his morning morning routine going, um the song is playing in the background, and that's about it for the montage, instead of like the you what you usually expect of a Bond film of like um those weird opening titles with like the the fancy uh uh imagery and everything like that, that usually happens.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: Um it's yeah, it's that, which is very stupid.
26:51
SPEAKER_02: I don't remember I can't remember much about it other than him brushing his teeth.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a big there's a lot of mirror action because it comes back later as a motif.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Sort of, I don't know.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: When he's doing to jump forward, spoiler alert, but you know when they play that video of him.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh yes, of course.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you're right.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know this film too well.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: I know this film too well, considering that I didn't even watch up to that bit when I rewatched it the other night.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: I was just certain I just remembered that because I was like, because it's to Abba, it's to Does Your Mother Know, I think.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which is also just a phenomenal song, and that scene from the original Mamma Mia is like hugely sexual for me.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: So God, this is so revealing.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: By the way, anything you want cut out, just let me know if you don't want to reveal anything.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Leave it all in.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: Leave all of this in.
27:56
SPEAKER_02: Um and then he's like um there's a ballboard I I've got now that he's like talking to the secretary, and he's talking about the oh, she gets him to sign something and he uh with like a pen and he picks up like another another pen and talks about how fancy it is and he uh talks about how it was um in his day it was like a like a special pen that could like um knock people out basically or like stun them or whatever and he actually d accidentally does it to her.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, another death straight in the floor.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: It's not a death, is it?
28:30
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not a death.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: She like just like knocked out on the floor and then he gets called into the office and like you see her in the background, like with uh all the people rushing in to help her all the paramedics come in to pick her up.
28:44
SPEAKER_02: It's like the gag that's the whole the whole scene is just like a gag of that going on in the background, and it's like there's no real explanation for any of the girls going they're kind of like going, they're kind of discussing what's gonna happen, but you're really focusing on that.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, and it's a brilliant piece of theatre.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: It's very Rowan Atkinson.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: It's very slapsy, there's so much well.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: I read apparently that a lot of it was kind of like it was written with Mr.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Bean in mind, and also apparently when it's translated, like the title, when it's translated into other countries, it's like Mr.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Bean is a spy.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I really silly slapstick, and also like I definitely just loved that when I was a kid because you're just like this is so silly, what the hell?
29:41
SPEAKER_02: Are you a fan of slapstick now?
29:44
SPEAKER_00: No, no, I love a really clever, intricate note.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't think I really see that much slapstick, like you don't really see it on the day, like on the open mic circuit, it's not really like yeah, on the open on the in the comedy open mic circuit, you don't see it.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about in like films that you watch.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I mean, huge twist.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: I rarely watch films.
30:09
SPEAKER_02: That explains that explains well that explains that this is the movie you picks.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Does it not?
30:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry to insult you that no, you're not insulting me because I actually think films are too long.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think films are too long and too boring, like every film is really long and boring.
30:30
SPEAKER_02: Even your favourite you skip through.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, even my favourite.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: I watched like a third of it and then was like, cool, I know, I know what's happening here.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: And I like re-watching films where I know what's going on.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: I think that's like to do with like especially when it's the world is falling apart around you, it's nice to not borrow it.
30:47
SPEAKER_02: I do that as well, to be fair.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: But also, like, I've never never been a film snob, have lots of friends who are, and I'm just like, I can't be bothered to try and have that personality.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, I tried to do it once because someone I fancied was into films.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: I was just so fucking bored.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is boring.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why it's nice that this shot is like this, like it doesn't impact my life in any way.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: No, I used to be yeah, I was gonna say, I used to be a film snob.
31:13
SPEAKER_02: This is where like it came from.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: I like I I was a film snob through I I went to film school, studied all that, was very snobby there, everyone was snobby there, and I used to get really annoyed with people as well though in film school because they were like so pretentious.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: Really?
31:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: And then I was just by and then like over the years I've just kind of like learned to embrace it and like enjoy what I enjoy.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:36
SPEAKER_02: And like don't I don't care what other people enjoy.
31:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: Like I will I still like going to the cinema and seeing like films that people that come out when people are like, this is a good film.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: Like I will go and if it's in the cinema, I love watching it.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: Like that's a whole different experience.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: But like just watching films on Netflix, I just get so like bored, I just zone out.
31:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: What is is this your favourite film then?
32:02
SPEAKER_02: Or is it uh no?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: It could be it could be.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: I think it would be like on my list of like comfort films to watch, like a comfort food sort of vibe.
32:13
SPEAKER_00: It has that like yeah, sort of nostalgic like stupidity.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: Um I don't think it is my favourite film.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what my favourite film is.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: Um I feel like I thought about this the other day and didn't and came up with the answer, but it clearly wasn't memorable enough.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: I think is this the one that you've watched the most?
32:37
SPEAKER_00: Quite possibly, actually.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Because when I saw it on your list of films that I could pick from, I was like, yeah, Johnny English obviously straight away, like no two questions asked.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: Is that a phrase?
32:48
SPEAKER_02: No quitting questions.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: It's something like that, isn't it?
32:53
SPEAKER_00: You get the vibe that I mean.
32:55
SPEAKER_02: I know what you're saying.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it is genuinely I think the only film that comes close, maybe, would be Johnny English Reborn, Johnny English 2, as it's known.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I can't think of a film.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, recently re-watching Twilight, I feel like I might have seen Twilight quite a lot as well.
33:15
SPEAKER_02: I think that's something I've only seen once.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: And the only only shelf text.
33:21
SPEAKER_02: Only the original.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: It really takes a turn in film three to get quite dark, so is that the one with the like the weird baby?
33:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the one where the baby rips out her insides and starts killing her from with it.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: Um Renesme, which also like this morning, I usually don't go up.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: I usually don't go on my phone like as soon as I wake up, but I woke up really early, so I ended up going on my phone.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: One of the first things I saw was someone commenting on like a TikTok I posted saying Rene Vibes, which is the name of their half vampire daughter, who's literally like a two-year-old.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't, I don't think she grows past 13 in the lifespan of the film.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: I was like, what do you mean Rene?
34:07
SPEAKER_00: But you're saying I look like a 12-year-old half vampire.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Like that's not also like it wasn't like it's just a video of me in bed.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: God, yeah, really weird.
34:23
SPEAKER_02: I can't tell if that's supposed to be a compliment or not.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, I mean, I feel like if she was if she was older, then I could interpret it as a compliment because I'd be like, the vampires are hot, like that's their thing.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: But she does she's literally a baby.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: I know I have a baby face, but that was just really it was like 7am and I was like, it's too early.
34:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I can't deal with this.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna ignore it.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: I'll follow up on it tonight.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: I'll send her a message being like, Can you expand please?
34:54
SPEAKER_02: I got I got on TikTok recently and I just feel I feel way too old for it.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: That's how I felt when I started doing it, and I I think like it just depends what your algorithm thinks you are.
35:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: It assumes I'm really into anime now.
35:11
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm I I like anime, but I'm not like obsessed with it like it thinks I am.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: It's like every other video.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: Like I watched like one video of Harry Styles, and now that's like all I get, and it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy of then I just watch them, and then I'm like, okay, maybe I am obsessed with it, and thus the cycle continues.
35:33
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, so let's let's go back to the film.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: Uh they um so this is where we learn about Pascal and his um he's like a a prison billionaire.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: I wrote now, so he like he owns a lot of prisons and he like sells he sells out like the space, I guess.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: Um he wants to do he's gonna he's got plans to like do that to the whole of uh the UK.
36:01
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, my dog is barking.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: Your dog knows what's up, he's like this man sounds like an absolute creep.
36:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and his plan is to turn the whole of the UK into a prison.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, what a bold plot point again from the.
36:15
SPEAKER_02: It's truly insane.
36:18
SPEAKER_02: But it's the kind of thing that you can imagine one of these guys actually trying to do at some point as well.
36:24
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: I think I think I can speak for us all, and I say when you're watching it, you're like, not a bad idea.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Pretty patel, she'd love that.
36:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she probably would love that, yeah.
36:41
SPEAKER_02: Um and so like um Johnny English goes to uh a party at the Tower of London, uh and it's uh where he disc so it's held by a Pascal, and Natalie and Brugger is there, she spots him, she flirts with him, uh and while while they're talking and everything, they talk about Pascal and he insults Pascal essentially to his face calling him he calls he calls him some kind of creep or something like that, or some weird I think he mentions that he's French as well.
37:18
SPEAKER_02: Of course he mentions he's French.
37:21
SPEAKER_02: And by the way, if I'm wrong about anything, please correct me.
37:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh I will, don't worry.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: I make very like rushed notes while I'm watching stuff.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: I didn't need to I made like four notes, but it's all in here.
37:34
SPEAKER_02: Four notes?
37:35
SPEAKER_02: You were saying you You were saying you made notes, and I was like, oh, that's so impressive.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: I made like that many notes.
37:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
37:41
SPEAKER_02: Oh, you made them on your phone as well.
37:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean I say like four notes because they were more like thoughts I had that I was like discussion.
37:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh, please keep bringing bring them up every time.
37:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I will.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: I want to discuss this.
37:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: Starts with a masked death was my first note.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: So we've covered that.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: And the theme tune was also another one.
38:03
SPEAKER_02: We've covered those.
38:03
SPEAKER_00: And that it loads into the French, the rest are still to come.
38:06
SPEAKER_02: Cool, cool.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: Alright, so he um so someone turns the lights out at the party.
38:13
SPEAKER_02: Not clear why.
38:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, because they rob it, they rob the jewels.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: You're right, yes.
38:20
SPEAKER_02: It's very obvious.
38:27
SPEAKER_02: And then he um so like the lights come straight back on and he pretends that for some reason he pretends that he spotted them and he like uh he pretends to fight the guy.
38:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:38
SPEAKER_02: But he's like fighting uh nobody, and he's like, Oh, this guy's really strong, and uh you gotta watch out for him and everything, and then they'll go in there and the guy's obviously not there.
38:48
SPEAKER_02: It's like oh I don't know what happened.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: It's very again, it's very slapstick Rowan Atkinson humour of him, like just like pretending to fight and like being bit beaten up essentially, and then he comes out with like ketchup on his nose and Yeah, it's classic, it's classic Rowan Atkinson.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: It's Rowan Atkinson in his absolute element.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: He's loving he's clearly loving what he's doing there.
39:11
SPEAKER_02: Um and then and then yeah, you're right, Crown jewels are gone.
39:16
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
39:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, and then I wrote uh Natalie snuck off at that point for some reason.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: But it's so you think she's so originally you think she is one of the bad guys.
39:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and she turns out to be the good guy, which is feminism.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Feminism in action is that she's a not only is she a spy, she's also a good spy.
39:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she's a good spy, she's strong, she's better than him.
39:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's smart.
39:44
SPEAKER_00: She's smart, she doesn't get her she he gets stuck in the conveyor belt when they're eating sushi.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: That's another good scene.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: Like later to come.
39:53
SPEAKER_02: I have thoughts about that scene that I want to bring up.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: We'll bring it up later.
39:58
SPEAKER_02: Um so then they said they get him to describe the guy that was in there, and you he just describes the stupidest things like orange hair, eye patch, uh banana scars down both sides of his face.
40:11
SPEAKER_02: I've never heard of a banana scar before as well.
40:14
SPEAKER_00: Exactly, that's why it's funny.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: That's humour 101.
40:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: Banana scar.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: That's all you need to know.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: And so they show they show the description of like the what the guy looked like, uh, where they've they've drawn, they've like uh made like some like uh digital descrip uh drawing of him, and it looks absolutely insane.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: It looks so weird.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but he pops up later in the film.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: Does he?
40:46
SPEAKER_02: I don't remember him being any of this movie.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: See, this is it, this is why I think it's actually a masterpiece.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think it's like in the credits, like right, like right as the film's about to end, the like camera pans to this guy who's the guy from that image, and it's like a funny like callback, and it's like this guy actually exists.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: Wait, it's in the credits.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: Uh I want to say it's in the credits, or is it in like the final two minutes of the film or something like that?
41:14
SPEAKER_02: Right.
41:14
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it maybe it's in the credits then because I turned it off as the credits came up, so maybe maybe I missed it.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: You missed out on the absolute nail in the coffin of why this film is the best film in the world.
41:29
SPEAKER_02: And then there's a hole in the ground.
41:32
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
41:34
SPEAKER_02: And Boff he nearly falls in.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: Boff, yeah.
41:37
SPEAKER_02: Boff gets stuck.
41:38
SPEAKER_02: I wrote down Bob originally for some reason.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: Uh that's why I was like questioning, I was like, who's Bob?
41:42
SPEAKER_02: When I was reading my notes just like, no, it's Both.
41:46
SPEAKER_02: Both gets stuck.
41:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Boff gets stuck down there.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: Um because they tell Bob to go down there and it looked, and he's like, he's like, no, it's too tired.
41:54
SPEAKER_02: He's like, uh no, keep going, and he gets stuck.
41:57
SPEAKER_02: And then Johnny goes and goes to help him and he falls down it, and like they both get knocked through into a tunnel, and uh they immediately climb up and uh find the the criminals who have like got the all the stuff and they start doing a shootout with them, and as he as he's going to do the shootout, he drops his round, like his rounds drop out of his gun, just showing how incompetent he is.
42:25
SPEAKER_02: And uh and they go to chase after him, they go to chase after him, but this is probably the funniest moment in the movie for me.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Which is where You're like, okay, this doesn't make sense.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: Um they do they they look up and they see so they see the guys like driving away and they go, What do we do now?
42:43
SPEAKER_02: And they look up and they see like the fancy sports car uh getting towed, and they go, What do we do now?
42:49
SPEAKER_02: And it's they get in the tow truck, yeah.
42:53
SPEAKER_02: And that that was so unexpected, it made me laugh like quite hard.
42:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's one of the things as well that it's like like I wouldn't have got why that was funny when I was a kid, but my parents would have been so dumb.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: That's so stupid.
43:10
SPEAKER_02: And then Johnny gets in the sports car and they start swinging it, they start swinging him out to the street through and every time they go they they have to like keep pulling him back in and back out again, and they've got to drop him and he drops him onto the back of another like car with a but then he like he go he gets off that c he gets manages to get off there, speed away, follows what he thinks is the truck, and f follows what he thinks is the other uh thing, and it turns out to be a hearse for a real funeral.
43:44
SPEAKER_02: He goes straight to a funeral.
43:46
SPEAKER_02: Um and he makes this whole big speech about like all of this stuff about like how um how he doesn't trust them and how they're like all actors and everything and sort of stomping on the coffin
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and he really goes to town.
44:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fully, again, fully Ronatkinson.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: Going to town on like as much as he can.
44:10
SPEAKER_02: And he uh and then he realizes what's going on because Bob comes along and has to pretend he's from an asylum.
44:18
SPEAKER_02: A mental asylum, yeah.
44:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they call it a mental asylum, yeah.
44:22
SPEAKER_02: And he's like just uh and they're all just staring at him and he's just like and he does this like again, this so this went from the funniest moments of one of the moments I hate it the most, which he does the stupid accent, like stupid voice.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: Really questionable, actually, that scene.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: I think I feel like that's one of the scenes that it's like as soon as you rewatch it, you're like, Yeah, this shouldn't really be what's going on here.
44:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:51
SPEAKER_02: So he does some kind of like mentally challenged voice, I guess.
44:58
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what he's doing.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he just like makes noises.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:03
SPEAKER_00: I guess maybe what the writers were thinking was like they were like, oh, this is what like a kid would think a crazy person does.
45:12
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, actually, what the hell?
45:14
SPEAKER_00: Why have you chosen to do this?
45:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, because also like adults in the cinema will be watching it as well.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: And it's like you can't be like, oh yeah, a mental asylum is filled with someone who says who like rivets like a frog.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: That's not really what mental health is.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: That's quite weird.
45:33
SPEAKER_02: And then so then they like they get away, basically, and then they um then it cuts to Pascal and he's got the crown, and he's gonna they say, like, oh how you actually even though you got the crown, you can't just take over as king.
45:44
SPEAKER_02: That's not how it works.
45:46
SPEAKER_02: He's like, Oh well, uh, I've got a plan for that, and like they show they show that they've been filming the Archbishop of Canterbury, yeah, and they've been like scanning his face from like an image, which makes no sense because it's like just pull up a picture of him, you don't need to scan his face from like some image you've like secretly filmed of him.
46:11
SPEAKER_00: That is very true, and I never thought of that.
46:15
SPEAKER_02: It's just like they they film him from above on like CCTV, yeah.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: They pull the CCTV on top of him, and they're like, Yeah, we managed to recreate his face, which we wouldn't be able to find anywhere.
46:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll give you that.
46:29
SPEAKER_00: That is one slightly flawed point in the whole thing.
46:33
SPEAKER_02: I immediately I thought, what is the point of this?
46:35
SPEAKER_02: But it's also like I think it's also to like kind of make fun of like the Bond Mission Impossible sort of thing of what they do there, where they like scan the face and uh recreate it as like they recreate it into into like a rubber sort of realistic looking face.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they make him like a little um like mask that's basically like a completely believable replica of the actual show.
47:03
SPEAKER_02: And all it is is is literally the fate the mask of the face.
47:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I feel like that really like as a kid watching that, that really prepared me for a life where that was a lot more of like a common way of you know, like identity fraud would be like people making rubber masks of your face and wearing them.
47:19
SPEAKER_02: So I I remember that from the Mission Impossible movies.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I definitely as a child, and I definitely like thought of that being a more common thing as well.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: I agree with you there.
47:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I feel like also like all this all this centering around the crown jewels, like I really thought there'd be a lot more peril to do with the crown jewels like during my lifetime.
47:39
SPEAKER_00: It's really true.
47:40
SPEAKER_02: It's like they're not really but nobody cares about them now.
47:43
SPEAKER_00: Like Yeah, it's like I wouldn't have expected like three, whatever, how many years I was gonna I was anticipating this would be three years.
47:51
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't expecting like a year of my life lost to a global pandemic.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: I was like, the country's gonna go into lockdown because someone's stolen the crown of jewels and we need to find them.
48:01
SPEAKER_00: Like that was very much my sort of what was on my radar is like a potential issue that I was gonna encounter in my life.
48:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I I'm just like very uh humoured by the fact that you thought that you were saying this is gonna be three years as well.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've got a really pessimistic view of it.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: I mean you're probably you might not be wrong, to be honest.
48:24
SPEAKER_02: It's already been nearly a year, it feels like.
48:29
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, so he's told to stay away uh Johnny's told to stay away from Pascal Silvage, even though he like uh by by the um the leader of MI7.
48:40
SPEAKER_02: Um which I thought was gonna become more so I thought when that happened he was gonna be one of the bad guys.
48:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was my thought.
48:52
SPEAKER_02: So I thought he was saying to him to stay away because he was doing something wrong as well with him and he was helping him out.
48:58
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, so I I was kind of disappointed that didn't come back up in this made-up plot I put in my head.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: It's it would have been a good plot, but I guess they just had so much slapstick to cram in.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: They didn't have time for big reveals like that.
49:13
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, so that but then they they obviously are gonna keep going with it, like him and Both.
49:19
SPEAKER_02: Both, by the way, Boff is his like sidekick.
49:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, lovely and gentle sidekick.
49:25
SPEAKER_02: Uh played by Ben Miller, I think.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I c I can't remember, but like the perfect person for that role.
49:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he feels very much uh just a little bit uh accepting of everything.
49:42
SPEAKER_02: He feels like that kind of guy that will just go along with whatever happens.
49:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, also like knows what he's doing.
49:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:48
SPEAKER_02: Um he's also like mainly the he's mainly the guy that will like stop everything that Johnny is doing stupidly.
49:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like that classic dynamic of like the sidekick who actually knows what's going on.
50:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
50:03
SPEAKER_02: But then so then uh they go to a they go to the car, uh the car park and there's like a um uh they spot uh like a villain there no, they hear a villain coming out from uh under the car and there's like a shootout and uh as as they're sneaking away um the he see he thinks he sees the villain on the top of the thing, on top of like uh this car park with it, and he goes to grab him and it turns out to be Both and he like knocks him out.
50:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: Which is quite funny.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's mayhem.
50:40
SPEAKER_00: There's no way he's making it into MI6.
50:42
SPEAKER_00: No way.
50:43
SPEAKER_02: That's why he's MI7.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, there we go.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: It's just like they get worse as they go down in numbers, like numbers.
50:53
SPEAKER_02: Um then okay, so yeah, this is where they go to the the sushi bar.
50:59
unknown: Okay.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: And this is where I have issues.
51:02
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so he spots Natalie in the sushi bar.
51:04
SPEAKER_02: I can't I'm gonna keep blowing her Natalie because I don't remember her name in this movie.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: And also it's Yo Sushi specifically, isn't it?
51:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's one of the points I was gonna bring up.
51:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, carry on.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: So it's Yosu it's a Yo Sushi bar.
51:19
SPEAKER_02: So like it's it's just a r uh already like one of the worst sushi places you can go.
51:27
SPEAKER_00: Sure, yeah.
51:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, but they make it out to be this fancy sushi place.
51:35
SPEAKER_02: And she's sitting there eating like she's sitting there just trying I imagine she's just trying to like lure him in.
51:41
SPEAKER_02: It's the whole reason she's there.
51:43
SPEAKER_02: And she she sits there eating sushi.
51:45
SPEAKER_02: So there he's kind of like she says, Oh, have you eaten sushi?
51:49
SPEAKER_02: Do you like sushi?
51:50
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Oh, I love it, and he calls it sushi or something like that, he says.
51:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:55
SPEAKER_02: Um it just gets it continues to get like more and more offensive, I feel like that's going on.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not um I feel like a lot of the jokes are like language and culture based for that scene, up until the tie gets stuck in the conveyor belt.
52:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so there's a point where he's eating, he goes to eat, um he like he just like picks something off of the of the uh rotating uh table and he like um I can't remember what he grabs, but he eats it, and he's so disgusted by it, and she's like, Oh, that's uh that's one of the rarest things to eat or whatever.
52:37
SPEAKER_02: It's something completely normal that he eats as well.
52:39
SPEAKER_02: It's like not a rare thing at all.
52:41
SPEAKER_00: Isn't it like an eel?
52:43
SPEAKER_02: No, it's something even more normal than that.
52:46
SPEAKER_02: Um what is that?
52:48
SPEAKER_02: I can't remember what it is, but he's so disgusted by it.
52:52
SPEAKER_02: And it's the whole gag is just like, oh, like Oh yeah, but he splits it out and stuff, I remember.
52:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's what and then he like that's why he's like leaning over and he gets his tie stuck, I think.
53:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
53:04
SPEAKER_02: Um and then it's like he's like getting stuck on the rotating thing and he like she he gets pulled around and as he's doing that she leaves.
53:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just walk straight out.
53:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
53:15
SPEAKER_02: That's when I noticed this yo sushi, because I saw all the sights.
53:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, I d I never like didn't grow up in London.
53:24
SPEAKER_00: Like, our only like connection to sushi as a concept was through the like Yo Sushi in High Wickham.
53:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
53:33
SPEAKER_02: Oh, so you grew up in High Did you grow up in High Wickham?
53:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nearby near High Wickham.
53:38
SPEAKER_00: And so like I was like straight away knew it was Yo Sushi and was like great to see Yo Sushi getting a shout out in this game.
53:47
SPEAKER_02: Good representation.
53:48
SPEAKER_00: Good representation.
53:50
SPEAKER_00: Also, to be like, I'm sure not personally, but I'm sure that many a person who's who wears ties on the reg have had that anxiety, like he's playing into a mass anxiety, um like everyone's worst fear.
54:08
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm just imagining every Japanese businessman like wearing like being scared of that happening because like yeah, again, like they there's a lot of Japanese business I like I lived in I used to live in Japan for like a little bit and they like they there's a lot of those guys that wear those like suits commonly and there's a lot of those bot like rotating sushi bars.
54:28
SPEAKER_00: So now I'm never seen that happen.
54:30
SPEAKER_02: No, no, never.
54:32
SPEAKER_02: Well it's because they saw it happen in Johnny English and they were like, oh look look at this thing in Yo Sushi.
54:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah I'm just thinking like Yo Sushi is so bad as well.
54:46
SPEAKER_02: Like I don't mean to so if it's like it's not good sushi.
54:50
SPEAKER_02: So maybe that's why he's so disgusted by what he eats.
54:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe.
54:54
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I feel like I don't think I would I wouldn't like I don't think I would go to Yo Sushi now.
55:02
SPEAKER_00: Like I wouldn't choose it, but I feel like I don't know how if you don't if there's no other option that you just don't know, do you?
55:12
SPEAKER_02: You don't know what sushi I get it's it's here's the thing about it to go into like to go into more detail about it, it's it's just that it's the chain sushi face.
55:23
SPEAKER_02: That's all it is.
55:23
SPEAKER_02: It's just the fast food, yeah.
55:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's the fast food of sushi, even though sushi is fast food anyway, but yeah, it's the fast food of sushi.
55:34
SPEAKER_02: That's where I put it.
55:35
SPEAKER_02: It's the McDonald's of sushi.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
55:37
SPEAKER_00: They could have gone into McDonald's, they could have not put into McDonald's, he could have got his ties stuck in like a ice cream deep fat fire, yeah, all the ice cream things.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Which is always broken, so uh yeah, exactly.
55:52
SPEAKER_02: And then he's like they they they're gonna go do the it they're gonna do the plan, which is to dive uh to like do the plane dive into the build uh onto the building.
56:02
SPEAKER_02: Um which is it's not the shard, is it?
56:07
SPEAKER_00: No like I want to say it's like near Canary Wharf or something.
56:13
SPEAKER_00: It would have been before the shard, surely was built.
56:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, probably.
56:18
SPEAKER_00: It was BTS, BTS before the shard.
56:22
SPEAKER_02: BTS um so they there's like two build uh but basically there's two buildings they're gonna dive into from on the plane, and he's like Both goes to give him a watch that will like tell him exactly where to land and all this stuff, and he's like, I don't need your technology, I I can cope with all this, I know exactly where I'm what I'm gonna do.
56:40
SPEAKER_02: And Bob's like okay.
56:42
SPEAKER_02: Both goes ahead, jumps off, lands exactly where he needs to, um, and then obviously Johnny lands on the wrong building, which looks the same.
56:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and in the hospital.
56:55
SPEAKER_02: It's a hospital, and he frees he he frees an old man in the hospital bed who he who he thinks that he says, What have they done to you?
57:05
SPEAKER_02: And he goes, Oh, they've taken my blood.
57:09
SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Oh I can't believe it.
57:12
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe what they're doing to all of you.
57:15
SPEAKER_00: It's an easy misunderstanding.
57:18
SPEAKER_00: If you'd landed on the wrong building and you didn't know, you'd definitely do that as well.
57:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because it's I mean, fair enough.
57:26
SPEAKER_02: Fair enough there in that room, but as soon as you leave that room.
57:30
SPEAKER_00: As soon as you leave that room, yeah, you start to you would start to think you would start to think maybe I've made a mistake.
57:37
SPEAKER_02: And then he like he he drags them all into like one hospital room.
57:41
SPEAKER_02: He drags all the nurses and and and doctors and all the patients and everything, and he's like starts yelling at all of them, and then from that room he spots Bob in the other building.
57:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
57:52
SPEAKER_02: He's like, Oh, this has been an emergency response testing, and you've all passed.
57:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's quick thinking.
57:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:58
SPEAKER_02: Runs downstairs, and he's like, Oh, I'm such an idiot, and then and then he's like spots, and then Bob opens the door to let him in.
58:05
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, oh well, that's a pretty easy way of getting into the first place.
58:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
58:11
SPEAKER_00: They didn't need to parachute it.
58:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, obviously you're bringing a lot of logic to this.
58:16
SPEAKER_02: I bring you too much logic that doesn't need to be here.
58:19
SPEAKER_00: No, it's it's good to it's good to I think I've watched it so much that I'm conditioned to not considering the logic.
58:25
SPEAKER_00: And maybe that would you think that could have been a joke that they put in?
58:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think so.
58:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
58:32
SPEAKER_02: I think it's supposed to be a joke though, it's so easy.
58:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:36
SPEAKER_02: They didn't need to jump out of a plane to get into it.
58:39
SPEAKER_00: See, it's just the film that keeps on giving.
58:44
SPEAKER_02: But uh that this is when you see like the they cut to um Savage and he's showing the Archbishop, the fake archbishop, and who has uh a tattoo on his on his uh arse that says Jesus is coming, look busy.
58:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it literally looks like it's written on in Sharpie, like they haven't even tried to make it look like a real tattoo.
59:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
59:07
SPEAKER_00: It's like they ran out of costume budget.
59:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
59:10
SPEAKER_02: And then it's like a video from Savage about that Johnny watches about about the Queen and everything, and uh it's very weird that they're just constantly playing throughout the building.
59:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:24
SPEAKER_02: Just very evil layer.
59:26
SPEAKER_02: Um and then he like he's got the truth serum and a muscle relaxant, and he like uses them wrong on these but on these bad guys.
59:37
SPEAKER_02: And so he like um and he he stabbed himself and he's got he stabbed himself with a muscle relaxant.
59:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
59:46
SPEAKER_02: And he like starts flopping about, and it's just an excuse for Rowan Atkinson to do to do more slapstick comedy.
59:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
59:54
SPEAKER_02: Falling about, exactly, doing stupid voices.
59:58
SPEAKER_02: But it's funny.
59:59
SPEAKER_02: I liked it.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_02: It was, I thought it was funny.
1:00:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he's in his element, isn't he?
1:00:02
SPEAKER_00: Like you kind of just get on board because you're like, he does do it well.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_02: I think, yeah, I think that's one thing.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_02: When he's doing his slapstick, for the most part, is when I'm laughing the most.
1:00:12
unknown: Yeah.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_02: I think I think so.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_00: And also, like, not you know, not many people could do that and it'd be funny and not that pretty.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_00: Like, he does kind of get away with it.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, that's definitely true.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_02: Um Natalie comes in and saves them, drags them to Savage's party, and he's still on the relaxer, relaxer, and so she makes him dance with her just to like stop him and he's like doing so.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_02: It's just like another funny scene of that.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_02: Um and the boss finds out uh all of this stuff and and um suspends him.
1:00:50
SPEAKER_02: So he suspends him and he's like, okay, um I'm still but I'm still gonna continue to go do what I need to do, basically.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, so he's not gonna continue.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_00: He goes, he goes, John Lingle like is like gets a bit sad, doesn't he?
1:01:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_02: In the meantime, Savage has got his plan B, which is to get rid of the fake but archbishop and visit the Queen.
1:01:12
SPEAKER_02: And he visits the Queen and he makes the sign away her monarchy.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_00: Um by holding like a gun to the Corgi's head, is that right?
1:01:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because originally he's like, I'm gonna kill you, and she's like, whatever.
1:01:26
SPEAKER_02: And then they hold the corgi up and she's like, signs it immediately.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely classic.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_00: We can't let any criminals watch that because they're gonna know exactly how to get to her.
1:01:36
SPEAKER_02: It's just like another thing of like what you expect the queen.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, what do you know of the queen?
1:01:40
SPEAKER_02: She likes her corgies, so exactly.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_00: It's basically, I mean, I haven't watched The Crown, but I'm pretty sure it's a similar vibe.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they had to like cut, they took it straight from the plot of real life.
1:01:54
SPEAKER_00: Exactly, it's actually a historical document.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_02: Um now Savage Savage finds finds out, supposedly, that he's put he's the new heir to the throne.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_02: And Natalie goes and gets Johnny, and they have this like fake sexual fight sort of scene going on where they like uh and and then she's you find out she's falling for him.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah because they go to France, I think.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah they go to the French countryside.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_02: And uh she's she turns out she's falling for him and she like she hasn't had a relationship in three years.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's a woman with power, so it's like God, she can't have been in a relationship if she's got this much talent.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_02: She's like, I haven't been with a man in three years.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_02: But but I'm thinking about you now.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fair play.
1:03:02
SPEAKER_00: He's he's won, he's won her.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I thought you were gonna say he's he's attractive at us.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, not for me.
1:03:11
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:03:11
SPEAKER_02: He does not seem like an attractive bird.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I don't see it.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_02: Just an academy and brilliant.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_02: But then they go to climb up, um they go to like climb up into this building, and it's like is it a castle?
1:03:28
SPEAKER_02: I can't remember.
1:03:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's kind of like a fancy it feels like a fancy castle, doesn't it?
1:03:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it's Savage's lair, essentially.
1:03:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:03:36
SPEAKER_02: And so she's like, oh no, we can find another way in, but he's like, No, I'm we're gonna climb up the pipe, and he climbs up the pipe and the sewage pipe.
1:03:44
SPEAKER_02: It's a sewage pipe, and you find out like everyone for some reason is taking a shit at the same time.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:03:50
SPEAKER_02: And that's how it works.
1:03:52
SPEAKER_02: In the s in the same room.
1:03:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the shitting room where everyone shit.
1:03:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but they're all just like when I say in the same room, they're just like all looking at each other.
1:04:01
SPEAKER_00: Is it like is it not like a prison?
1:04:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that makes so much sense.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_00: I think it might be.
1:04:08
SPEAKER_02: Yes, that makes so much more sense.
1:04:11
SPEAKER_00: I think it's like Savage's prison, but he also like has his party there.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
1:04:16
SPEAKER_02: That makes so much sense now.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_00: Did you just think it was like a room where everyone was shattered?
1:04:21
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
1:04:21
SPEAKER_02: That's why I was like, what is this place?
1:04:24
SPEAKER_02: I was like, is this an insult to the French that they haven't discovered like separate toilets?
1:04:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_00: If that was the reason, that would be incredible.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_00: If they were like this absolute pal.
1:04:39
SPEAKER_02: Look how uncultured the French are.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine?
1:04:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
1:04:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, without having re-watched that scene, I'm pretty sure it is a prison.
1:04:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's just a Yeah, you're right.
1:04:53
SPEAKER_00: You're right, this makes so much more sense.
1:04:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, you're right.
1:04:57
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, Johnny gets poo all over him.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_02: Uh it's disgusting.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_02: Um it's funny.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_02: If you say so.
1:05:06
SPEAKER_00: Funny to kids, because poo is funny.
1:05:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, to kids it's funny.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:05:11
SPEAKER_02: And uh, but Natalie has found like another way in, basically.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_02: And she climbs and like as he's climbing up, he realizes you've got the poo all over him.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_02: He goes, he just wipes himself off with like toilet paper.
1:05:23
SPEAKER_02: And then she sees him and she's like, Oh, you stink, and like shoves him in a shower, and then he comes out clean completely clean.
1:05:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:05:32
SPEAKER_02: Um and then you find out Pascal is making a a plan to make England a pr entire prison.
1:05:40
SPEAKER_02: Um and and as they're but Natalie and Johnny are listening in and they're talking about what they're gonna do.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_02: They're listening in from like a um what is it called?
1:05:52
SPEAKER_02: It's like a like in a church, isn't it?
1:05:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like a little alcove type thing.
1:05:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:05:57
SPEAKER_02: And as they're listening in, like they accidentally knocked the microphone and uh so Pascal hears exactly what they're gonna do yeah and he just sits there waiting for them yeah very calmly he he gets quite a cool moment out of it yeah and uh and then Johnny's like very calmly like goes to take like the DVD of the plant and he like accidentally takes the wrong one because he's not looking at what he's doing and uh he goes to fire his gun and his gun fires out a load of poo because the gun is Yeah exactly they just it's so disgusting they've picked what they think is funny and they've just rolled with it.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_02: And so Bob has to save them.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_02: Bob comes in and save them.
1:06:45
SPEAKER_02: Bob saves the day.
1:06:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah obviously and they get away uh but then it's coronation day and 'cause they haven't done anything they just like they just wait it out and until coronation day.
1:07:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah um Johnny cr comes in and dresses up as the bishop one of the bishops um oh my god yeah yeah I remember now why is that why is that such a like shocking memory to you though you keep I don't know I just because I didn't rewatch this bit like I'm sort of like remembering it as you tell because I watched like half of I like skip through the first half and then just kind of like skim the rest.
1:07:33
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just re re enjoying it to be honest.
1:07:38
SPEAKER_02: And then yeah so um yeah he dresses up so there's the bishops there's three bishops there's the the English the Scottish and the Welsh one I think yeah and he come he comes in dresses up as the English one and um I wrote down there was like Oh he calls a stop to it.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah he like reveals his face and he reveals it's him uh so like they they're saying oh do you accept that um uh that Pascal will be the new king and they're like I do, I do and then he's like I do not Yeah reveals his face and um and then he sees the archbishop and he it's the real archbishop and he tries to remove his face.
1:08:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah but he tries to take his skin off and then he like goes well at least that's a tattoo on your backside and like just flat he like turns him over and like very bum out.
1:08:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah he gets his bum out supposed to be the the real archbishop um and then he plays his DVD that he's stolen and it turns out to be a video of like you said the callback to the beginning of Johnny dancing brushing his teeth and singing along to Abba.
1:08:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah it's embarrassing it's embarrassing yeah it is it's yeah it's very embarrassing and they're all although he doesn't care that much.
1:09:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah and then doesn't he start swinging from something yeah he's up in my head yeah so they're like and then Pascal so at that point Pascal's like get him out of here um goes to take it they go to take him away Johnny escapes um and they go to crown Pascal and as they go to crown Pascal Johnny swings in kicks Pascal out the way and they crown Johnny which I'm not sure if that's how it works but Johnny is now the new kid I'd be surprised if that's how it works but also some things in England are still so old fashioned that like that's the sort of thing where you could be like you know how it's like isn't there like a law where technically all men under 18 are like meant to learn how to shoot or something like that.
1:09:49
SPEAKER_02: Really?
1:09:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah there's like some you know there's like weird old laws that like are still enshrined in like the law but they just aren't taken out it could be something like that where you'd be like if that actually happened you'd be like oh well fair enough okay well now now now we have a new monarchy.
1:10:04
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah so yeah Johnny's crowned and is the new king and he says arrest that man take him away um and then he obviously gives the monarchy back to the queen um and Johnny gets a knighthood happy ending happy ending and then it cuts through the south of France and he's with with Natalie in their car in their fancy car and he goes to kiss her and as he goes to kiss her he accidentally hits the button that says eject she gets ejected out of the car and that's the end of the movie that's the end of the movie they end with a bang they end with a bang they literally and end with a literal bang.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah like it's good and then I think after that is when it cuts to a scene by the pool in the south of France which is where the guy with the banana tattoo is so I I need I really I've made this mistake before in a previous podcast episode where I I turned it off at the credits and there was an after credit sequence.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_00: Exactly I need to watch the I need to check every time now yeah unless it's Marvel I don't check I'm like oh there's no after credits no I think this one is like well also it makes sense that they put it in this film because it takes fucking forever to get your kids out of the cinema I imagine so they're like they need to leave a little something for the parents do you know what I mean like a little it's probably in every kid's movie there's like an aftercredits thing yeah I think there is I think I've just cracked cinema it's because you've only seen kids' movies yeah exactly and I've watched them so many times okay so let's go through let's let's talk about this then so let's hear your defence of this movie um what other than everything I've said so far so what makes it a great movie in your opinion or what makes it a good movie parody like it's a fertile parody of a format which makes sense now that we've found out that it's written by the people who also write James Bond it is just like it's a good parody it's funny um it's got slapstick it's got something for the kids it's got something for the parents of which I am currently not really either but I still enjoy it um I think it is just like it's just joke after joke and it's just it's a laugh a minute I um I kind of just figured about the laugh a minute but it's it's got funny moments.
1:12:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah but do you think you're the target audience for it I think I was when it came out I was so I would have been yeah that's true now I'm not the target audience for it but um I would have been 14 when it came out yeah so it probably would have been like you would have been at the older end of who the older end of it but yeah I think I still would have enjoyed it when it came out but having said that I must have not seen it because I would have remembered it if I'd enjoyed it yeah I feel like also there are scenes that are quite memorable that if you were watching them again you'd be like oh I have a vague recollection of this like the archbishop having a tattoo on his bum that really stuck out for me as a child.
1:13:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah because I definitely remember seeing Mr Bean's holiday because I remember things from that.
1:13:34
SPEAKER_02: So like and that wasn't long after this yeah maybe it just passed you by yeah possibly um okay so do you have any uh so let's let's talk about a little bit about this other than like what we've discussed already.
1:13:52
SPEAKER_02: So like what um other than like Rowan Atkinson do you think there's anything other than him that's good about the movie?
1:14:00
SPEAKER_02: Do you like any of the others in it?
1:14:02
SPEAKER_02: Um I think like so I'm talking about this kind of I guess in the context of like when it came out and obviously now I'd be like should have more women who aren't just like yeah like Natalie and Bruclea whatever her name is um but like even she isn't like as stereotypical as you could get like I was kind of surprised re-watching it I was like oh they haven't made her as bad as I would have expected yeah not that that's a great way to measure things yeah could have been worse um well I mean that's it's that's funny because the movie they the movie they wrote right before this was The World Is Not Enough which is the one with uh Denise Richards as Christmas Jones I want to say her name is her name is Christmas Jones and she's a scientist they make her but the whole joke the whole thing is they call her Christmas purely for the joke at the end which they they can make about her when uh um they they they s they wake up in bed afterwards and they go um that's the first time Christmas came early or something like that and that's the end of the that's the end like the end of the movie.
1:15:28
SPEAKER_02: I mean that's ridiculous that's that's insane um and I haven't seen that film but I'd prefer to watch journey English five so they went from writing that to writing this writing this kind of female character which is they're like a lot better.
1:15:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah exactly um I think other than that like I just do think it's got it's not like all slapstick like Mr Bean which I found like got old I think even as a kid I was like okay I guess it um like I kind of liked that it had kind of other elements to it and that it had like like stuff like um like him just just getting it wrong like I guess verbally not just slapstickly um and it does I feel like it is more varied than a Mr.
1:16:22
SPEAKER_02: Bean film yeah I would agree with that.
1:16:26
SPEAKER_00: I never I was never Mr Bean being very one note oh you're not no I never but I never really watched it like oh see I grew up with Mr.
1:16:35
SPEAKER_02: Bean and yeah just didn't grow up with this at all I don't think I don't have any context for it.
1:16:41
SPEAKER_00: I think that's more normal.
1:16:43
SPEAKER_00: I think just because like my mum's Polish so like I didn't I just kind of grew up with like whatever random thing came into my life by coincidence.
1:16:50
SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't I feel like I often have slightly weird cultural references compared to everyone else because it would just be like whatever was on tele.
1:16:57
SPEAKER_00: So like Johnny English was like a real crucial part of my upbringing and like when it isn't for other people I'm like oh that's weird so have you spoken to this uh I spoken so when you've spoken to other people about this then I guess like what what have their thoughts been on it?
1:17:13
SPEAKER_02: I mean no one's that bothered yeah people don't really have a strong opinion on it like it wasn't people's like favourite childhood film or like but it wasn't like oh my god that was a bad film it's just like oh yeah I think I've saw that and I'm like was this not your favourite film in the whole world that's that's kind of I think that was kind of my experience it's like I think I've seen it yeah most people are like that they're like yeah I vaguely remember that uh haven't re-watched it since I know that it came about because of like some like credit card adverts that he used to do as the character yeah so maybe like that's what I had in my head of it yeah maybe it's possible that's what I think yeah maybe it's like that or that's what I remember from yeah childhood or whatever um but yeah like it's it's a it's fine like to me I don't like it's I wouldn't go out of my way to watch the other two after watching this but no yeah and I'd probably think it was weird if you did I didn't hate it I didn't love it yeah but also I feel like if you're if if I was talking about any kids' film like so much of it would have been the context of my childhood and like what memories I associate with it with my parents and stuff and like that will always be something that is just like super specific to me and it's like that's just maybe I just liked it because I my parents found it funny sort of associated with them yeah finding it funny does that make sense yeah that makes sense yeah I have a lot of those movies but like I know Space Jam is not a good movie but I love it.
1:18:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah exactly like I haven't seen that but yeah if you went and watched that now you'd be like why do why do so many people like my age love this movie.
1:19:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah I think maybe that's I think probably the more I think about it the more it was one of those films for me where I was like oh yeah my parents really like a watching this and I like watching it so it's a good thing.
1:19:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah this turned into therapy again okay this is all we're a therapy session yeah I mean I do my therapy over Zoom now so it's really not that different um all right so let's move on to the final segment then which is a um do you have a movie since this will be interesting because you don't you said you don't watch a lot or you don't like a lot of movies so what movie do you think is bad that everyone really loves and thinks it is well reviewed?
1:19:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh so many well it's not like no do you know what actually I'm gonna be more specific I think I'm predisposed to be like I don't care about films because so many of the like kind of toxic men I dated growing up were into films and would like try and educate me on films and I was like I don't care so like now I'm like I kind of can't separate a lot of those memories of those films from like the person who I associated with it who I was like why do you think you're better than me because you watch Wes Anderson like I like Wes Anderson films like I didn't hate them but I also wasn't like mad about them but I also there was a point where I probably pretended to like them more than I did because I thought it made me like more attractive and now I'm just like I'll just watch like a film that I want to watch like I don't literally couldn't care less.
1:20:51
SPEAKER_00: I go to the cinema on my own quite a bit because I'm like I do enjoy watching I prefer to do it that way to be honest.
1:20:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah exactly and like I just I I yeah exactly and with that it's also nice because you don't have to have an opinion to give someone else straight away after yeah I can just sit and think about it myself yeah um other than that like I don't know because wait what what ones did they try and make you like watch then that that you just hated um or what did they tell you were like what what did they try and tell you were like amazing movies if you can remember.
1:21:28
SPEAKER_00: There was definitely a lot of like discourse about Wes Anderson.
1:21:33
SPEAKER_00: I remember guys recommending me like foreign films.
1:21:39
SPEAKER_00: There was this one guy this this guy that sent me this film that was entirely like in French and I think well maybe I think it was like French but it was also kind of like almost like a silent film.
1:21:52
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:21:52
SPEAKER_00: It was a French silent film and I was like I just thought this guy was so hot so I watched it and I just was like no I did not care at all and I was just like why and I look back and I'm like why did you waste an evening of your life pretending to watch this film for this guy who surname I didn't even know was he French no he was actually I'm not gonna say he wasn't French and also like it was literally like a a very short term thing it wasn't like this it wasn't like I watched it and then I managed to fake it into a relationship or anything like that.
1:22:34
SPEAKER_00: It was never I never like changed my personality to that extent but I definitely did pretend to be more into films at certain points whereas now I'm like very open about like not do not do this.
1:22:48
SPEAKER_00: Do not do this yeah I literally had stand up about it at the beginning of this year which I obviously haven't really redone because like when would I but it was about how I just don't care about films and how like it was about this specific topic of like how so many guys I knew growing up growing how many guy it was about how many guys I knew when I was growing up who kind of tried to like monopolize film as like like it being a male thing.
1:23:16
SPEAKER_00: Um and like yeah I was just like cool I don't care I'll watch Johnny English again.
1:23:26
SPEAKER_02: So what you're saying is you don't have a specific one or do you have do you do you do you have one that you can think about um so I remember I remember Do you remember hating any one any of them?
1:23:41
SPEAKER_00: No I don't think no real specific films stand out but like I think there was also a big trend of like guys saying they liked Wes Anderson like around my age guys around my age when I was in my teens they'd all be like Wes Anderson Wes Anderson and I'd be like okay.
1:23:56
SPEAKER_02: So wait wait when you were in your teens what was like the big Wes Anderson film that came out can you remember I don't think it was a specific one coming out.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_00: I remember the hotel one did come out but it was like him as a director people were obsessed with and they'd like watch all his old films and I'd be like yeah I'd watch them and would be like okay though I did re-watch Rushmore recently and really enjoy it so I think I also might have been a bit too young um because I kind of fancied guys older than me.
1:24:25
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah um no I I really like Wes Anderson but I I get why people don't like him as well and I I fully I do think he tends to make the same kind of film over and over again as well.
1:24:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah and the thing is is like for me is that it's not even really about the films it's just about like does does this person think they're better than you because they've watched a film which like isn't yeah got hasn't got Lindsay Lohan in.
1:24:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah no I know that's exactly it that's exactly what film school is as well though like there'll be so many fucking hated that like I had so many films that I enjoyed where it was just like these are I know they're not technically amazing feats of of of work but I enjoy them so just shut up.
1:25:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah just like you've got to have some things that you can just enjoy why is it yeah there's other films where like they'll make you they'll they'll tell you to watch like we had to what I remember one time we had to watch a um an Andy Warhol thing.
1:25:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah just supposedly like so amazing whatever and it was literally just like footage of um the Empire State Building just a static image of it and just filmed for like 12 hours or something and they're like oh isn't this amazing no it's pretentious as hell yeah I would have hated that I would have walked out oh he let he left it on like during our break and I just walked out yeah so fair why would you stay?
1:25:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah so yeah that's what that's why I want to just talk about films that people enjoy.
1:26:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah that's definitely the better angle so yeah do you have any final thoughts on um Johnny English you want to bring up watch it watch it well maybe don't I feel like maybe don't watch it if you don't have a good child if you have a good childhood memory associated with it treat yourself to a rewatch of it if you don't like don't bother watch something else watch your favourite childhood film again.
1:26:30
SPEAKER_00: Is it the best of the three of them um yeah I think it is I think second I think first one and two are on a similar part and then there's a big drop for three because it's like they tried to run it seven years later yeah yeah yeah although it's like isn't it quite a few years between each one of them actually thinking about it I feel like it's a bigger gap between two and three than it is between one and two.
1:26:54
SPEAKER_00: I literally have no ground on saying that I've just that's just from what I vibe.
1:26:58
SPEAKER_02: Just memory yeah um what's the other thing?
1:27:02
SPEAKER_02: Oh I did forget to say that um Rowan Atkinson himself did say he he was disappointed with this movie.
1:27:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah I know I saw that and I was like that's a shame because I think if that's what you wanted to make if you wanted to make a silly slapstick film surely you've achieved that goal.
1:27:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah yeah I reckon he needs to be less hard on himself he's probably yeah he he does seem that kind of person he's very hard on himself.
1:27:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah very particular if it's yeah if you're making like a kid's parody film like how high can you set the bar yeah just chill out and you've made two more so you can't be that disappointed exactly it can't have been a massive low point for his career that he was like we need to cover this up and bury the leaves it was like yeah I'm disappointed but I'll still make two more yeah and again like the only he's only made three movies after like since this movie which was uh Mr Beans Holiday Johnny English two and three so yeah he knows what he's good at yeah well anyway um do you have anything you want to plug at the moment or any any shows that you've got coming up or just follow me on Twitter um which is at ana mags um with an S on the end yeah it's got an S on the end Annya mags uh Instagram is at Anya Magliano same as my TikTok which is also at Anya Magliano which is really I think where all the golden content is.
1:28:35
SPEAKER_00: Again first person to plug their TikTok there you go I don't know if it'll have an effect I don't know if anyone else uses it um but I love it.
1:28:45
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if I'll follow you on there but I will have a look if I do or not.
1:28:49
SPEAKER_00: I also am I've got an idea for a YouTube series that if produced would be something I'd plug but I don't know if it'll ever happen but my YouTube is the same as my Twitter which is Anya mags so I'll plug that just in case a safety plug great well thanks so much for coming on Anya.
1:29:08
SPEAKER_02: Cool thank you so much for having me that's the end of the podcast you can find me on Twitter for the username at YCove or at Yanniscove on Instagram.
1:29:17
SPEAKER_02: Please remember to rate and review us on iTunes if you enjoyed this so I can end up making more and I'll see you next week for more movies that Critics got rolling the