Latest / The You Project / #1576 Passion, Purpose & Potential - Andrew May (PT1)

Transcript

#1576 Passion, Purpose & Potential - Andrew May (PT1) · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: Get a Groover's Craig Anthony Ar Tiffany and Cook and
0:03
Speaker 1: Andrew bran May. I made that up. What's your middle name, mate,
0:06
Speaker 1: Dick ri Richard? Yeah, Andrew, we're going to go with
0:11
Speaker 1: Dick Andrew Dick may or he may not. Tiff, Welcome
0:16
Speaker 1: to you. How are you good?
0:18
Speaker 2: This is the second May in a row, consecutive mays.
0:21
Speaker 2: Brianna was right before this was May as well.
0:24
Speaker 1: Well, of course we we just did a podcast which
0:27
Speaker 1: Tiff and I got out of about three point seven
0:30
Speaker 1: minutes ago with Brianna May, the fabulous Brianni May, who
0:33
Speaker 1: neither of us knew.
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Speaker 2: But she was quite impressive, wasn't she, Tiff? And now
0:37
Speaker 2: we're all besties. So cho's Bill Andrew May.
0:42
Speaker 3: Sorry to let you down, Tiff, but it's going to
0:44
Speaker 3: be downhill from here. I think I started downhill before.
0:47
Speaker 3: We have had a floppy microphone, but I fixed it up.
0:50
Speaker 3: We're good to go.
0:52
Speaker 1: Well, we don't want you having, you know, performance issues
0:56
Speaker 1: with your microphone on the podcast, just for.
0:59
Speaker 3: People listening, So I don't think we're just getting thrown
1:01
Speaker 3: into Dick jokes. Even though it's my middle name. It
1:04
Speaker 3: just kept dropping down. It was really disconcerting, so we
1:07
Speaker 3: fixed it up. We're ready to go.
1:08
Speaker 1: What you want to do is you want to undersell
1:11
Speaker 1: and over deliver. So we'll keep people's expectations low for
1:14
Speaker 1: the moment and that we'll build to an inspirational, educational
1:18
Speaker 1: crescendo at about minute forty. So sit on the edge
1:21
Speaker 1: of you seat everyone, Andrew, welcome back to the show.
1:25
Speaker 1: It's been a long time, my friend. And yesterday I
1:29
Speaker 1: spoke with you. Are you in wa or Queensland? Yesterday?
1:33
Speaker 1: I think wa.
1:34
Speaker 3: Wa Garden Island. There is a garden island in Sydney
1:36
Speaker 3: with a naval base, and there's one in Wa as well.
1:39
Speaker 3: I was there with a bunch of people from Defense
1:42
Speaker 3: doing a program we're doing. It's called social Mastery. So
1:46
Speaker 3: in defense they've got domain mastery, AirLand, Sea technical mastery.
1:51
Speaker 3: You could be a diesel mechanic or you could be
1:53
Speaker 3: a fighter pilot. And they got this thing Tip and
1:56
Speaker 3: Harps called social mastery. And this surprised me. Harps, but
2:00
Speaker 3: a consulting firm when in about ten years ago charged
2:02
Speaker 3: in an exorbitant amount of money, gave them sweet fa
2:05
Speaker 3: and I'm sent the invoice and it's sat there gathering dusk.
2:08
Speaker 3: So we've had a beautiful opportunity with a part of
2:11
Speaker 3: Navy first of all called MAS Maritime Acquisition Sustainment to
2:15
Speaker 3: do a pilot and then that's now being picked up
2:17
Speaker 3: and I'm really proud of it, of the program and
2:19
Speaker 3: the relationship. So now we're working across Navy, Army, Air
2:22
Speaker 3: Force and APS Australian public sector. So we're there yesterday
2:26
Speaker 3: with a bunch of wonderful men and women whose job
2:28
Speaker 3: literally is to serve and defend our country.
2:31
Speaker 1: Y'ah, amazing, Well, good forew congratulations on that. Are they
2:37
Speaker 1: are they receptive? How are they when a civilian walks
2:41
Speaker 1: in the room and starts to tell them what to
2:42
Speaker 1: do and how to do it so to speak? Yeah,
2:45
Speaker 1: it's a good question.
2:46
Speaker 3: When I first launched this program two and a half
2:48
Speaker 3: three years ago, we had half the room with our
2:51
Speaker 3: file to thinking who's his idiot with a shiny head
2:53
Speaker 3: up the front. But we've had some really good partners there.
2:56
Speaker 3: And you two know this. When you're doing a corporate
2:58
Speaker 3: program and you em better, you don't try and be
3:01
Speaker 3: the people you're working with. You show a respect, you
3:04
Speaker 3: show a learning about where they are. But come with
3:07
Speaker 3: an outside perspective, and that's something you told me years ago, Harps.
3:10
Speaker 3: You don't have to be anyone other than yourself. You know,
3:13
Speaker 3: you're the best version of yourself. So we found a
3:15
Speaker 3: really nice sweet spot. And then I got to thank
3:17
Speaker 3: you as well, Jackie Lauder, Jack one of your good mates,
3:20
Speaker 3: the Collingwood sports psych Melbourne Storm sports psych. I introduced
3:25
Speaker 3: jack and say she's the best mental skills coach in
3:27
Speaker 3: the world, and she whispers to me, what are you?
3:28
Speaker 3: I said, I'm way behind you, Champ. But Jackie's doing
3:32
Speaker 3: work on that program as well. We're bringing a whole
3:34
Speaker 3: different bunch of people in so that's been really nice.
3:36
Speaker 3: So it's not the knee show. We bought in Kieran
3:39
Speaker 3: Gribbon recently. He's the most recent lead singer of an Excess.
3:43
Speaker 3: So can you imagine this, Harps. And if you're starting
3:45
Speaker 3: a program with five hundred people at the ad For
3:47
Speaker 3: Academy and Canberra and you've got this rock star literally
3:50
Speaker 3: up the front, singing myster Fi on an acoustic guitar,
3:54
Speaker 3: like there's no there is no competing against that, and
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Speaker 3: every man and woman in the room either wanted to
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Speaker 3: be him or be with him, probably a combination of
4:02
Speaker 3: the two.
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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's a good idea to bring
4:05
Speaker 1: in people that are way better. They're and smarter and
4:08
Speaker 1: more talented than you.
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Speaker 3: Mate, I've learned that, Harps the last and you've done
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Speaker 3: this beautifully. Mate. You are the massive underselling. You are
4:17
Speaker 3: much more than the fat kid from MOWI. You bring
4:20
Speaker 3: all these people on the podcast. So that's one thing
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Speaker 3: I've learned Harps and Tiff is to be conscious of
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Speaker 3: what you're good at and then to bring other people
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Speaker 3: in and to have a collective sum that's much bigger
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Speaker 3: than you by yourself.
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Speaker 1: Taking a while to learn that, Harps. Yeah, you know,
4:39
Speaker 1: like you're always We spoke just an hour ago when
4:44
Speaker 1: we're talking with Briann, and we spoke about the same
4:46
Speaker 1: thing about you know, it sounds cheesy being the lifelong learner, right,
4:50
Speaker 1: but it's true. It's like and all that you know,
4:53
Speaker 1: the world's my classroom, everyone's potential teacher. It sounds like bullshit,
4:57
Speaker 1: but when you scrape the cheese off it, it's fucking true.
5:01
Speaker 1: It's like I learn even when I am coaching someone
5:06
Speaker 1: or I'm working with a group and I'm the one
5:09
Speaker 1: kind of commissioned with the teaching role. I'm still learning
5:13
Speaker 1: from them what not to do and how not to
5:17
Speaker 1: be and occasionally being corrected on a point of fact,
5:20
Speaker 1: you know where I go, Oh, I got that wrong,
5:24
Speaker 1: you know. And I think if you can't genuinely be
5:29
Speaker 1: okay with fucking up and getting stuff wrong, well, then
5:32
Speaker 1: you're just operating an ego and then you're never going
5:35
Speaker 1: to be a great teacher anyway.
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Speaker 3: I think if you get like that, you give up,
5:39
Speaker 3: and if you're probably given a bit of leeway. I'm
5:42
Speaker 3: not as a young boy or girl or whipper snipper,
5:46
Speaker 3: we dance between that performance based identity. I perform, therefore
5:50
Speaker 3: I am, and I recommend it up until forty x
5:54
Speaker 3: ex exogenous external extrinsic. It was very much related to
6:00
Speaker 3: faux po fear of other people's opinion that doctor Michael
6:02
Speaker 3: Tavais talks about.
6:04
Speaker 1: And then you get to a.
6:05
Speaker 3: Couple of life events or maybe you get your head
6:08
Speaker 3: out of your proverbial or a bit of mentoring and
6:10
Speaker 3: do a bit more research and study and realize, hey,
6:13
Speaker 3: performing is good, so I can have a strong personal
6:15
Speaker 3: identity and capital And what's this all about? A purpose
6:21
Speaker 3: based identity, and a purpose based identity is more around
6:24
Speaker 3: meaning and that connection to why and why you're here
6:27
Speaker 3: on the planet. So I've spent a lot of time
6:29
Speaker 3: perps thinking about this myself the last five years, and
6:32
Speaker 3: I do a lot of work around this with executives,
6:35
Speaker 3: getting that balance right between the performer and you. And
6:38
Speaker 3: I spoke about this in our last podcast, that balance
6:40
Speaker 3: between the performer on the stage in the cauldron and
6:43
Speaker 3: the person and getting vation between the two, but then
6:47
Speaker 3: really looking at Okay, I can perform, but what's it
6:49
Speaker 3: all about? So back to what you're saying, part of
6:53
Speaker 3: that balance. Yeah, I learned more from some of my
6:56
Speaker 3: exact clients made who run banks or consulting firms. And
6:59
Speaker 3: I feel guilty sometimes sending an invoice because I'm sending
7:02
Speaker 3: this invoice, it's studios that I'm actually charging you, and
7:06
Speaker 3: as I'm going for a coaching session or walking with
7:09
Speaker 3: you having a coffee, you're filling up my cup and
7:11
Speaker 3: I think I should be paying you. But if any
7:13
Speaker 3: of my coaching clients listen to that, I'm not holding
7:15
Speaker 3: you to it. We like the invoices to be paid harps,
7:20
Speaker 3: but I like acknowledging that you're so true lifelong learner.
7:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true, And I told you yesterday. I've been
7:29
Speaker 1: doing a little bit of work with Victoria Police, who
7:31
Speaker 1: are great, and about a month ago I did my
7:33
Speaker 1: first session with them, and it was a day. It
7:36
Speaker 1: was a whole day, and there was a little bit
7:37
Speaker 1: of legs crossed and arms crossed and mind's crossed at
7:40
Speaker 1: the start as well. And it wasn't that they weren't open,
7:43
Speaker 1: it was just that they didn't know me. Some of
7:45
Speaker 1: them knew me but or knew of me, but most didn't.
7:49
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's really interesting because you go in with
7:52
Speaker 1: an idea of what you're going to do, what you're
7:54
Speaker 1: going to talk about. You know, with me, it's a
7:57
Speaker 1: vague structure. I'm not as structured and as methodical and
8:00
Speaker 1: as organized as you are. I don't think made. I'm
8:03
Speaker 1: a little bit more like you know, golden retriever sixty
8:08
Speaker 1: year old golden retriever around food. That's a bit me.
8:11
Speaker 1: But it's interesting because I felt a shift about might
8:17
Speaker 1: at know, we started at nine, maybe quught it at nine.
8:20
Speaker 1: By about eleven, there was a real shift of energy
8:22
Speaker 1: in the room and everyone was on board and all
8:26
Speaker 1: the arms and the legs were uncrossing, and it's like
8:29
Speaker 1: it just takes a while to build that trust and
8:32
Speaker 1: respect and rapport, and you know, sometimes you don't. Sometimes
8:37
Speaker 1: you don't get there. But it's that knowing, knowing what
8:41
Speaker 1: to share and what not to share, and which doors
8:43
Speaker 1: to open and not and what questions to ask or
8:47
Speaker 1: not to ask. And I got to about midday and
8:53
Speaker 1: I hadn't sworn, which is like, really, I know, I know,
8:57
Speaker 1: it's like not breathing. Way I nearly said the F
9:02
Speaker 1: word and I said sorry, I nearly dropped the F bomb.
9:05
Speaker 1: And I said, by the way, you do not know
9:07
Speaker 1: how amazingly restrained I've been today. I go I normally
9:11
Speaker 1: swear a lot, and they're like, oh, we'll feel free.
9:14
Speaker 1: I go really, and the boss goes, fuck yeah. I'm like,
9:17
Speaker 1: all right, all right, let him go to let him go. Hey.
9:21
Speaker 3: Two things on that. One is I'm less planned than
9:25
Speaker 3: I used to. I like the oxymoron planned spontaneity. So
9:30
Speaker 3: I'll go into a workshop, I'll go into doing work
9:34
Speaker 3: with athletes or a sporting team. I'll have a structure.
9:37
Speaker 3: And then the spontaneity part is you adapt because you
9:39
Speaker 3: can say, right, I've got it mapped out from part
9:41
Speaker 3: one to ten and they're not ready for six or
9:44
Speaker 3: they need to jump to part eight from three. Yeah,
9:46
Speaker 3: that's the model, is planned spontaneity.
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Speaker 1: Two.
9:50
Speaker 3: A question for both of you will flip it around.
9:54
Speaker 3: The confidence of a psychological constructor is two components. It's
9:58
Speaker 3: one doing the work and two it's backing yourself. So
10:03
Speaker 3: I'd say, the reason why you can go into a
10:05
Speaker 3: room and have a sheet of paper and a whole
10:08
Speaker 3: bit of stories and ideas and am I going to
10:10
Speaker 3: drop the F bomb or not is because you've got
10:12
Speaker 3: confidence and you built that over years. Now. A more
10:16
Speaker 3: detailed definition of confidence is you've got the internal resources
10:20
Speaker 3: to match your external demands, and you've trained that in
10:23
Speaker 3: multiple ways. And I heard the beautiful podcast you did
10:25
Speaker 3: about mentor mentee, but you even flipped it and said
10:28
Speaker 3: you're learning as much from Tiff as she used from you.
10:31
Speaker 3: So the question I've got for both of you, do
10:34
Speaker 3: you still when you go to a room like you're
10:36
Speaker 3: going to police do you have that imposter syndrome?
10:39
Speaker 1: Harps? Yeah, the volume goes up and down. I think
10:47
Speaker 1: for me, it's like people think I'm very confident and
10:52
Speaker 1: I am sometimes and sometimes not, I will. So part
10:57
Speaker 1: of my PhD is doing basically these reviews where you
11:04
Speaker 1: stand in front of an academic board and they're called
11:08
Speaker 1: academic milestones. And my last one was a few months ago,
11:11
Speaker 1: where I had to go and stand in front of
11:13
Speaker 1: a board and present my research and findings and methodology
11:17
Speaker 1: and basically justify your place in the program. Right, Mazie,
11:21
Speaker 1: I am so fucking out of my comfort zone because
11:26
Speaker 1: they don't. Firstly, not that they should. They don't give
11:29
Speaker 1: a fuck about me any more than any other student,
11:33
Speaker 1: and neither should they. But you know, I'm used to
11:36
Speaker 1: going into a space where I'm the guy up the front,
11:38
Speaker 1: teaching and talking and getting paid well. Right, So with
11:42
Speaker 1: that comes I guess a sense of whatever. Yeah, I've
11:44
Speaker 1: done this a lot, I'm back here. I'm doing it again.
11:46
Speaker 1: I'm not terrible at it. That's why they bring me back.
11:49
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. But people say to me, have said
11:52
Speaker 1: to me many times, oh, you'll kill that, like the
11:55
Speaker 1: academic review. No, it's like standing naked in a bunch
12:00
Speaker 1: of judges who do not know you all. You are
12:05
Speaker 1: a student number three, five, one, two, six or whatever
12:07
Speaker 1: I am, and you're being entirely judged on your academic output,
12:13
Speaker 1: and so all my bullshit isn't worth anything. All my charisma,
12:17
Speaker 1: my stories, my skills, my it doesn't count at all.
12:22
Speaker 3: In fact, it probably works against you if you pull
12:24
Speaker 3: out the jazz hands and the charisma and your flexic Yeah,
12:28
Speaker 3: it's the stuff.
12:29
Speaker 1: That he might fucking go to the jazz hand.
12:31
Speaker 3: Joe's head has been of tapped down, like, oh, I don't.
12:36
Speaker 1: Compostly make the most terrifying hour of my last year.
12:43
Speaker 1: And also my dad had a heart attack in the
12:45
Speaker 1: last year, but this was still more terrifying? Was that hour?
12:50
Speaker 1: My final review? I'm like, I was so fucking scared
12:53
Speaker 1: and so bad, so bad.
12:57
Speaker 3: If we get a bit beta on that, get above it.
13:01
Speaker 3: How awesome is it that at your youthful stage in
13:04
Speaker 3: your career and you've been doing this for a long
13:06
Speaker 3: time And for context I went to you. We mentioned
13:10
Speaker 3: this in one of our previous podcasts. I was twenty one,
13:12
Speaker 3: had a full head of hair half the way I
13:14
Speaker 3: am now, had a gold hoop hearing it's.
13:16
Speaker 4: A good look, Tiff, only I'll require a photo.
13:22
Speaker 3: I'll send one through And like the ladies were really
13:24
Speaker 3: like wanting to come and meet me. They just they
13:26
Speaker 3: were too shy to let me know. But I remember
13:31
Speaker 3: speaking to you way back then, Harps, and you were
13:33
Speaker 3: giving and you're still learning, and what are we talking
13:37
Speaker 3: twenty five years later? So I love hearing that you
13:40
Speaker 3: are putting yourself in a position only foreignty where you
13:43
Speaker 3: scare the shit out of here.
13:44
Speaker 1: The growth of.
13:45
Speaker 3: Learning you get from that is so much better than
13:47
Speaker 3: sticking in the comfort lane up the front and your
13:50
Speaker 3: pants and your bare feet and your sheet, doing what
13:52
Speaker 3: you've done all the.
13:53
Speaker 1: Time, one hundred percent. And I think, you know, there's
13:56
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of cliches that when you get past,
13:59
Speaker 1: like I said before, or the cheesiness of them, they're true.
14:03
Speaker 1: And I've said this to Tiff many times. I go,
14:05
Speaker 1: when you're the smartest in the room, get out of
14:06
Speaker 1: the room, go to another room, And the moment that
14:10
Speaker 1: I think I'm getting pretty good, generally, problems happen. You know.
14:15
Speaker 1: It's like I know what I'm not bad at. I
14:18
Speaker 1: also know what I don't know, and there's so much
14:21
Speaker 1: more that I don't know. There's so many skills that
14:25
Speaker 1: I don't have. There's so much understanding that I don't have.
14:29
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying this to sound noble and fucking humble,
14:32
Speaker 1: It's just true. So like everyone, you optimize your strengths
14:37
Speaker 1: as much as you can while not pretending that you
14:40
Speaker 1: don't have weaknesses. And I think, you know, when we
14:43
Speaker 1: think about I'm diverging a little bit. But when we
14:47
Speaker 1: think about health, we think about longevity, we think about wellness,
14:50
Speaker 1: cognitive function, physiological function. I'm sure that and I'm not
14:56
Speaker 1: genetically gifted, but I'm sure that I'm in pretty good
14:59
Speaker 1: shape just because I keep getting uncomfortable, you know, just
15:04
Speaker 1: because I keep doing shit that I'm not good at
15:06
Speaker 1: and I eventually get good at it. But I've been
15:09
Speaker 1: doing that since I was you know, fourteen is just
15:13
Speaker 1: starting things that when I start, I'm a white belt,
15:17
Speaker 1: and it's like I've never started anything that I was
15:19
Speaker 1: automatically good at.
15:21
Speaker 3: Ever, you know, when I grew up and when i'm
15:24
Speaker 3: your age, I hope I had the same level of curiosity. Yeah, well,
15:28
Speaker 3: I think it's it's like I think for me, like
15:32
Speaker 3: just like lifting weights keeps your body young, and but
15:35
Speaker 3: it literally does from a functional perspective. Obviously, chronology is
15:38
Speaker 3: another thing, but physiology is manipulatable, the way we age,
15:43
Speaker 3: we can we can influence largely now, but also the
15:45
Speaker 3: way that our brain ages, the way that our brain works,
15:50
Speaker 3: the way that our brain you know, builds muscle in
15:53
Speaker 3: inverted commas or wastes. You know, all of this stuff
15:56
Speaker 3: is to a point within our control. And you know
16:01
Speaker 3: it's just and it's cliche, but it also is just
16:04
Speaker 3: a matter of.
16:05
Speaker 1: Doing the work like which isn't sexy, fun quick reps
16:10
Speaker 1: and sets.
16:11
Speaker 3: We talk about it background both as a strength and
16:13
Speaker 3: conditioning coach. Do you want to get strong, powerful, fit
16:16
Speaker 3: and fast, you go to the gym, you go the pool,
16:18
Speaker 3: the track, the VELODROMEI you do the reps and sets.
16:20
Speaker 3: If you want to be strong mentally, emotionally, cognitively, you've
16:24
Speaker 3: also got to do the reps and sets. A native
16:29
Speaker 3: imposter syndrome, Do you get it?
16:30
Speaker 1: Yeah?
16:31
Speaker 2: I was going to say, before you know, five or
16:33
Speaker 2: six years ago, or whenever I started my Harps stalking
16:37
Speaker 2: mentor stalking journey, it was actually the moment there was
16:42
Speaker 2: a conversation or something where Harps talked about imposter syndrome
16:48
Speaker 2: and talked about that idea that he still he still
16:51
Speaker 2: had that experience yet the dial turns up and down.
16:55
Speaker 2: That was a moment for me where I went, oh,
16:58
Speaker 2: if Craig Harper gets imposter syndrome, I better get off
17:02
Speaker 2: my ass and get busy. That was a big moment
17:04
Speaker 2: for me. And I think another thing is I see
17:09
Speaker 2: myself play small around people. So in some spaces I
17:13
Speaker 2: can self promote and feel confident and go and know
17:17
Speaker 2: have real confidence in what I'm all about. And then
17:21
Speaker 2: and it's been a grapple sometimes working alongside Harps and
17:25
Speaker 2: with Harps in that respect, because I had I started
17:27
Speaker 2: off as that he's the mentor, he's the guru, He's
17:31
Speaker 2: the guy that I want to be aligned with. And
17:33
Speaker 2: then when I was lucky enough to be aligned with him,
17:37
Speaker 2: I was really you know, I'd feel myself play small
17:41
Speaker 2: and maybe as a sign of respect or intimidation at times.
17:44
Speaker 4: So that's been something to grapple with too.
17:47
Speaker 3: I can know you're much better, Harps. And I'm thinking
17:50
Speaker 3: of my situation. My tiff is ang And when Anne
17:53
Speaker 3: started we're at KPMG. I went in there as a
17:56
Speaker 3: lateral higher partner, which means alien they bought my business.
17:59
Speaker 3: I had no idea about risk compliance, stakeholder engagement swore
18:03
Speaker 3: way too much and I was so green, so they
18:05
Speaker 3: gave Ange to me. We're so different, but we're so balanced.
18:09
Speaker 3: She is so much of an asset for me, and
18:13
Speaker 3: Ange will say I'm an asset for her. So it's
18:15
Speaker 3: really shifted and I now see the relationship as not
18:18
Speaker 3: on a boss and she follows. We dance between followership
18:21
Speaker 3: and leadership. That's really nice when a relationship evolved. So
18:25
Speaker 3: you've got your organization chart, then you've got your skill domain.
18:28
Speaker 3: So I like to think with my team and the
18:30
Speaker 3: teams I work with. You you have a different title,
18:33
Speaker 3: but you get that blend between Hey, I'm going to
18:36
Speaker 3: follow and and really look to what you do, and
18:39
Speaker 3: then other times I'm going to lead. I think that's
18:41
Speaker 3: a big learning from defense. They talk about followership is
18:44
Speaker 3: a skill as well as leading.
18:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know when you're interviewing a podcaster, because
18:51
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, he fucking starts interviewing us, like,
18:54
Speaker 1: what's happened, what's happened?
18:55
Speaker 4: Very smooth, what's smooth?
18:57
Speaker 1: What's going on? And how good is his voice? I
18:59
Speaker 1: could just go to sleep with It's super sexy. I
19:02
Speaker 1: could go to sleep with him just talking in my ear.
19:04
Speaker 4: Should records some meditations for insight time.
19:07
Speaker 3: Andrew, we're doing some I'm doing some meditations for my
19:12
Speaker 3: Manly Boys. I work with a man mighty Manly Seagles,
19:15
Speaker 3: and we're getting into mind from as heaps, Tiff and harp.
19:18
Speaker 3: So we have Yeah, we've got We've got ten minute
19:19
Speaker 3: tracks because the research shows the med minimum effective dose
19:23
Speaker 3: for mindfulness is about six minutes. Ten minutes is better.
19:26
Speaker 3: Twenty seven to twenty eight is awesome, but I'm not
19:29
Speaker 3: going to get any athlete to do twenty seven to
19:31
Speaker 3: twenty eight. So there We've got a bunch of mindfulness
19:33
Speaker 3: tracks that we do. In fact, Harps, you love this.
19:36
Speaker 3: We're starting now the week and it varies because the
19:40
Speaker 3: Boys will play anywhere from Thursday nights through until Monday
19:43
Speaker 3: if it's a public holiday, normally Thursday to Sunday, so
19:47
Speaker 3: the start of the week could be Sunday, it could
19:49
Speaker 3: be Tuesday or Wednesday. But the first I'm so proud
19:52
Speaker 3: of this. The first fifteen minutes of the week is
19:54
Speaker 3: Manly Mindfulness, where we spend fifteen minutes get the boys.
19:58
Speaker 3: They sit up close the eye, so you're shutting off
20:01
Speaker 3: the irs connected to the brain. And processing information, so
20:05
Speaker 3: we give them a little bit of info, Harps, not
20:06
Speaker 3: too much. The first couple of minutes is just compartmentalizing
20:10
Speaker 3: what happened last week. Just put it in a lunch box,
20:13
Speaker 3: wipe the board clean. Then we get into a bit
20:15
Speaker 3: of breathing to change state. Then we do some gratitude
20:18
Speaker 3: what are you grateful for? And then part three is
20:21
Speaker 3: then really narrow the focus. This week we're playing this team.
20:25
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
20:26
Speaker 3: And in fifteen minutes and what I laugh is I've
20:28
Speaker 3: had boys tiff sort of digressing, but it's connected to
20:32
Speaker 3: your question. The boys said, hey, can you record something?
20:35
Speaker 3: So we have I'm just delighted, Harps. So I got
20:38
Speaker 3: big footballers up to one hundred and twenty five kilo
20:40
Speaker 3: saying can you give me an audio track that I
20:43
Speaker 3: can play at home so I can be chilled with
20:45
Speaker 3: my missus and my kids.
20:47
Speaker 1: Mate, you genuinely have a great voice for it. I
20:50
Speaker 1: fucking hate my voice, so I'd rather listen to you
20:52
Speaker 1: than me. And that's not me trying to make you
20:54
Speaker 1: feel good. You have a great voice for it, and
20:57
Speaker 1: I think what's interesting everyone thinks. So I listened to
20:59
Speaker 1: your podcast and go, yeah, he's got a really good
21:02
Speaker 1: resonance and I love the dance between you two as well.
21:05
Speaker 1: It's the contrast.
21:06
Speaker 3: But I had voice lessons a number of years ago
21:09
Speaker 3: when I was in Hobart, because when I was doing
21:11
Speaker 3: half day workshops. It started with a Keino then half
21:14
Speaker 3: day workshops, did a few full day and my voices
21:18
Speaker 3: you know, you get that raspy voice. Yeah, both had
21:20
Speaker 3: a lot of your audience speak a lot they've had it.
21:23
Speaker 3: So I went to Lorraine Merit from Neither originally from
21:27
Speaker 3: lon cesstin Tasmania. I can't say Lorraine without talking like that.
21:31
Speaker 3: And she got me to do some wonderful voice exercises
21:34
Speaker 3: and I still do them. I do them before I speak.
21:37
Speaker 3: In fact, I do have a podcast Harps and I
21:39
Speaker 3: interviewed small Thing Kiir and Gribbin from in Excess. I
21:42
Speaker 3: mentioned him before and I was asking him about what
21:45
Speaker 3: does he do as a performer going through voice exercises,
21:48
Speaker 3: and it's similar to the stuff I've learned from the rain.
21:49
Speaker 3: So yeah, her name was popped up twice today. Well,
21:53
Speaker 3: there is a person on this call at the moment
21:56
Speaker 3: who also is from Tasmania, a lon Cestern specific Sorry sorry, jeez.
22:05
Speaker 1: At least from Hobart the Nemesis nemosis. Hey, I just
22:10
Speaker 1: want to step back one bit that I didn't get
22:13
Speaker 1: a chance because you two fucking talk too much. I
22:17
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about impost syndrome a little bit, just
22:20
Speaker 1: to say that I think one of the mistakes that
22:24
Speaker 1: we make is that we try to defeat imposter syndrome,
22:30
Speaker 1: defeat insecurity, defeat self doubt. It's like, no, dude, no,
22:35
Speaker 1: You're just going to coexist with it. It like it's
22:39
Speaker 1: for me it, you know, Like I said, the volume
22:42
Speaker 1: goes up and down. Sometimes I think I'm all right.
22:44
Speaker 1: Sometimes I think I'm doing terrible. Sometimes I'm intimidated. People
22:50
Speaker 1: would think I would never get intimidated, not in a
22:54
Speaker 1: physical fear sense, but in a like I interviewed a
22:58
Speaker 1: guy this morning who's the world authority on forgiveness, and
23:02
Speaker 1: he's written a bunch of how.
23:04
Speaker 3: Many times you just apologize?
23:09
Speaker 1: But he was like, really brilliant, you know, And I
23:12
Speaker 1: know that I'm okay at interviewing. I know, I know,
23:15
Speaker 1: can I just pause, Tiff, well done?
23:17
Speaker 3: He didn't acknowledge that that was a really good He
23:21
Speaker 3: just he just rolled over, what did you say.
23:24
Speaker 4: Did you ask for some forgiveness?
23:27
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I need to seek forgiveness. This is your podcast.
23:33
Speaker 1: Sorry anyway, all good. All I was going to say is,
23:36
Speaker 1: even this morning, I was feeling somewhat insecure because I'm thinking, Fuck,
23:41
Speaker 1: I don't know, like this guy is the guy in
23:43
Speaker 1: the world on this topic. And I hope my questions
23:46
Speaker 1: I always not always. I periodically worry when someone's been
23:51
Speaker 1: interviewed hundreds of times and they're in a very specific
23:55
Speaker 1: field that I'm going to ask them questions that they're like,
23:58
Speaker 1: fuck this question again. You know they're going to roll
24:01
Speaker 1: their eyes. Oh that old press play press play. Yeah,
24:05
Speaker 1: So I try. I try to avoid that.
24:08
Speaker 3: I was going to ask you closing up on the
24:11
Speaker 3: imposter syndrome. I like that dial it up and down
24:14
Speaker 3: because I talk about the extremes of imposter syndrome. If
24:17
Speaker 3: you don't have it, you are a narcissistic asshole and
24:21
Speaker 3: around like if you just rock into everything and you
24:23
Speaker 3: think you're a leegiand other people do not have the
24:26
Speaker 3: same shared experience. And I believe you've done a PhD
24:28
Speaker 3: in that if you have too much imposter syndrome, it
24:31
Speaker 3: cripples you. So it's a bit like golded locks in
24:33
Speaker 3: the three. You know, this porridge is just right. I
24:37
Speaker 3: had a big dose of imposter syndrome earlier this week,
24:41
Speaker 3: and I love that I did because it means I'm
24:43
Speaker 3: challenging myself. Imposter syndrome means your care. The impost syndrome
24:48
Speaker 3: means what you're doing is important to you. So the
24:51
Speaker 3: interview you had earlier today, you care about that a
24:55
Speaker 3: lot more than some blake with a shiny head.
24:58
Speaker 1: Oh, I care mate, I want to impre. I did
25:00
Speaker 1: a gig last week for Fernwood, God Bless Fernwood, and
25:03
Speaker 1: I went in there and I was spoken with Furwood
25:05
Speaker 1: a bunch.
25:06
Speaker 4: They like me.
25:07
Speaker 1: I like them. We have a good time. Went to
25:09
Speaker 1: Queensland six months ago, spoke at their national conference, and
25:13
Speaker 1: then I spoke down here last week and I went
25:15
Speaker 1: in pretty confident I'm going to go about a nine.
25:19
Speaker 1: I was about a nine. And then I walked in
25:21
Speaker 1: and Donna Aston was speaking, and Donna Aston was fucking
25:26
Speaker 1: crushing and I'm like, and they loved her like that
25:32
Speaker 1: she had them. She had about one hundred and fifty
25:35
Speaker 1: women in the palm of her hand, and she could
25:40
Speaker 1: have taken a dump on stage, she would have got
25:42
Speaker 1: a fucking round of applause, like they loved her right,
25:45
Speaker 1: and she was brilliant, And as I was sitting in
25:48
Speaker 1: the middle of her brilliance, my confidence just started to
25:52
Speaker 1: die and I'm like, oh fuck, I don't want to
25:57
Speaker 1: follow her. She's us. So by the time I got
26:00
Speaker 1: up there, I was about a rock solid four. I
26:02
Speaker 1: had to work my way into it.
26:04
Speaker 3: That's probably about that's that self regulation mechanisms, Yeah, closing
26:08
Speaker 3: it out. I now regularly want the bean situations where
26:12
Speaker 3: I have imposter syndrome and if you're not, you're probably
26:14
Speaker 3: not stretching. So so earlier in the week I went
26:18
Speaker 3: in and Joe Schmid invited me into the Wallabies camp.
26:21
Speaker 3: So the Wallabies play a time of recording. They play
26:24
Speaker 3: Wales tomorrow, so there's a new coach, three new assistant coaches,
26:27
Speaker 3: new how to performance, new physio. Out of the players
26:31
Speaker 3: that went to the Debarkle under Eddie Jones Well Cup
26:35
Speaker 3: last year, there's only twelve players in this squad out
26:38
Speaker 3: of thirty eight, so it's a whole new rasion. So
26:40
Speaker 3: they're all nervous. Joe's asked me to come in for
26:42
Speaker 3: two days, which was awesome. I was so nervous. In fact,
26:46
Speaker 3: that morning I got there early and I went to
26:48
Speaker 3: a coffee shop and I just sat out and had
26:50
Speaker 3: a coffee. But I've done a bit of work with
26:51
Speaker 3: some of the war retars boys, so I know a
26:53
Speaker 3: few of them. But I was really nervous, and I
26:57
Speaker 3: actually was sitting in there, going, this is good, This.
27:00
Speaker 1: Means I care.
27:01
Speaker 3: Dial it back a bit, cham because I don't want
27:03
Speaker 3: to go in there because if you're too nervous, you're
27:04
Speaker 3: going to say something stupid and be a bit of
27:05
Speaker 3: a dick.
27:06
Speaker 1: So just getting the.
27:07
Speaker 3: Filter right and knowing that that awareness that this means
27:12
Speaker 3: I care, but then down regulate, relax a little bit,
27:15
Speaker 3: go back to you. I've done stuff like this before.
27:17
Speaker 3: It's not you. I'm not being judged, and get that
27:19
Speaker 3: nice filter.
27:21
Speaker 1: You're definitely being judged, but that's okay. You always are.
27:26
Speaker 1: Everyone's always watching. Hey, what's the convergence and divergence of
27:31
Speaker 1: working with athletes versus corporates? So what's what's resonant, what's
27:38
Speaker 1: relevant and what's irrelevant or what's the same and what's different.
27:42
Speaker 3: What's irrelevant is when you stand up and go hey,
27:45
Speaker 3: I work with insert sport, and this is the way
27:48
Speaker 3: you kick the winning goal in the AFL Grand Final.
27:51
Speaker 3: This is the way you whip it out the back
27:52
Speaker 3: line with speed and get your wing or outside back
27:55
Speaker 3: to score a try. This is the way you're dominating
27:57
Speaker 3: a fight. And the upper cut that sitting there going
28:00
Speaker 3: you're a wanker, mate, and you've got no idea about
28:02
Speaker 3: how to run a bank or a FMC or a
28:05
Speaker 3: transport company. I'm really really conscious probably over to it
28:11
Speaker 3: sometimes of some of these stories I'm going to tell
28:15
Speaker 3: you relate to sport, and then there's storytelling when you're
28:19
Speaker 3: doing a conference or a podcast. Yes, but I'm really
28:22
Speaker 3: clear as well that it's not exactly the same. What's
28:25
Speaker 3: also really different. Sport's easy from a recovery and loading
28:29
Speaker 3: point of view, because with our athletes in season AFL, NRL,
28:35
Speaker 3: Super Rugby Netball, they have a defined competition, so they
28:39
Speaker 3: know when they're playing, when they're recovering, and it's this
28:41
Speaker 3: beautiful oscillation between stress and recovery. Yeah, you've got crowd media,
28:45
Speaker 3: sponsorships and there's all these other complexities, but in many
28:48
Speaker 3: ways it's much more simple. Whereas you're the see of
28:51
Speaker 3: a bank or you're the ceover Telco. You don't have
28:55
Speaker 3: this beautiful oscillation between stress and recovery. You might have
28:57
Speaker 3: a board member who comes out they've had an or something,
29:00
Speaker 3: sleats at an off site, and you're about to go
29:03
Speaker 3: to Hawaii. You get a phone call and you have
29:04
Speaker 3: to stay home, so you're always on. So there's a
29:07
Speaker 3: huge contrast in that as well. What I like though,
29:11
Speaker 3: is and I'm sure you did this, Whereas for years
29:14
Speaker 3: it was me from sport into corporate and then I
29:17
Speaker 3: just went corporate. Now I've actually used corporate to go
29:20
Speaker 3: back to sport. I'm working across a number of different
29:24
Speaker 3: teams in different sports doing mental skills and leadership. A
29:29
Speaker 3: number of years ago, it would have been you just
29:31
Speaker 3: do one team and you go and go deep. But
29:34
Speaker 3: because I've learned how to scale through technology and have
29:37
Speaker 3: a podcast and you take snippets out of that and
29:40
Speaker 3: have a digital platform, and I've learned that, Like we
29:42
Speaker 3: were talking at the start today, when I run a
29:45
Speaker 3: mental skills program, so it mainly I say it's our program,
29:48
Speaker 3: so it's as much Anthony c. Buld, the head coach JC,
29:52
Speaker 3: had a performance and bails ahead physio and especially with JC.
29:56
Speaker 3: He's driving more of the program than I am, Harps,
29:58
Speaker 3: So that's been a huge learning that I've adapted from.
30:02
Speaker 3: I went to KPMG with no idea about how to
30:05
Speaker 3: scale a business because I thought it was me up
30:07
Speaker 3: until there. And I had a great coach when I
30:10
Speaker 3: went to KPMG. And I didn't realize this, but I
30:13
Speaker 3: probably came across as a bit of a selfish asshole.
30:15
Speaker 3: And I don't think I am by trait. It just said,
30:18
Speaker 3: I've been so used to doing my own thing, and
30:20
Speaker 3: then when you go into a consulting firm and there's
30:23
Speaker 3: six hundred other partners. The analogy she gave me is, Andrew,
30:27
Speaker 3: you've been in a fighter pilot where you've been a
30:29
Speaker 3: fighter pilot in your jet and you land and everything's
30:32
Speaker 3: about you.
30:33
Speaker 1: You're now the.
30:34
Speaker 3: Co pilot of an A three eighty with six hundred
30:37
Speaker 3: and ninety nine other people and you've got.
30:38
Speaker 1: To share the cockpit. Beautiful analogy. I love that.
30:42
Speaker 3: But now, Harps, I think I'm in this beautiful place
30:45
Speaker 3: at fifty where I feel like I'm just starting and
30:48
Speaker 3: I freaking love working across different sports, and I love
30:52
Speaker 3: working across corporate and defans, and I see it's this
30:56
Speaker 3: nice merging of both and you can dial it up
30:59
Speaker 3: and dial it back, and then I feel, yeah, I
31:04
Speaker 3: feel like. There's a great book called Range by David Epstein,
31:09
Speaker 3: and I'm sure you've read it, heard about it, heard
31:11
Speaker 3: people talk about it, and it's the collective sum of
31:14
Speaker 3: experiences we have has got us to exactly where we
31:17
Speaker 3: need to be right now. I reckon it's taken me
31:20
Speaker 3: twenty five years to become an overnight success, and a
31:23
Speaker 3: whole bunch of experiences, trials, tribulation, success, fuck ups and everything.
31:28
Speaker 3: I want way to be in a spot where I'm
31:30
Speaker 3: comfortable to do that. Do you talk to.
31:35
Speaker 1: Groups and individuals about self awareness, other awareness, social awareness?
31:44
Speaker 1: If you do, what do you talk to them about
31:46
Speaker 1: and how do you open that door? Yeah?
31:50
Speaker 3: George Angel back in nineteen seventy seven spoke about the
31:53
Speaker 3: biopsychosocial model. I think sometimes we come up with stuff
31:57
Speaker 3: and do things and think, hey, I'm onto something here,
31:59
Speaker 3: and then you out this theory and I go, geez,
32:03
Speaker 3: someone else has thought about this. So if there's a
32:05
Speaker 3: model I give you, it is that I think it's
32:08
Speaker 3: the whole human So bio is your physiology and US
32:12
Speaker 3: human and operating system. Psycho is thoughts and feelings and
32:16
Speaker 3: emotional and we've got to regularly do an iOS upgrade
32:18
Speaker 3: on our head, just like we need to do on
32:20
Speaker 3: our iPhones. And then that's social is no man, No
32:23
Speaker 3: woman is an island. So you look at relationships social,
32:27
Speaker 3: you also look at cultural. That's massive. I find in sports,
32:32
Speaker 3: especially a lot of the Contact Sports Union and league
32:35
Speaker 3: high in Pacific, notions like I could have the best
32:38
Speaker 3: toolkit in the world around psychology. And this is the
32:40
Speaker 3: mistake I think a lot of psychs make, or previously made,
32:43
Speaker 3: when they're running corpor or sports programs. Hey I'm a
32:46
Speaker 3: psych and it's about schema, and I've got all these
32:49
Speaker 3: tools head down.
32:50
Speaker 1: But I know a lot of.
32:51
Speaker 3: Players have more of a physical intelligence, so it's legs
32:55
Speaker 3: up or toes up, and then some are.
32:57
Speaker 1: Right in the middle.
32:58
Speaker 3: So answering your question of a long way, awareness is
33:01
Speaker 3: everything self awareness. And I've been deep on mindfulness the
33:06
Speaker 3: past twelve months. And if apparently mindfulness has been around
33:11
Speaker 3: a while, it's not new. Two and a half thousand
33:15
Speaker 3: years ago, the Japanese samurai were practicing mindfulness. You look
33:18
Speaker 3: at different cultures like the Yogis in India. We're doing
33:21
Speaker 3: a very similar time. And while you've got different cults,
33:24
Speaker 3: there's totally different parts of the world. They didn't have
33:26
Speaker 3: a mobile phone, there was no snapchat or Twitter or
33:29
Speaker 3: whatever it's called these days to share information that's fascinating
33:33
Speaker 3: and Buddhism and the evolution of that as well. So
33:35
Speaker 3: there's multiple tribes and cultures that you know, a couple
33:38
Speaker 3: of thousand years ago were looking at this notion of
33:40
Speaker 3: being still and being present and haaps men, women, athletes,
33:46
Speaker 3: corporate athletes, everyone in between.
33:49
Speaker 1: I'm really bringing.
33:50
Speaker 3: A lot more around that mindfulness and that ability to
33:52
Speaker 3: be present in the moment without judgment.
33:56
Speaker 1: Good a team. I'm going to interrupt myself and Tiff
33:59
Speaker 1: and Andrew there. This went for quite a while, less
34:02
Speaker 1: chat an hour and a half or so, So we're
34:04
Speaker 1: going to break there. We'll call that the end of
34:06
Speaker 1: part one, and we'll see you tomorrow