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Comparison Is KILLING What Makes You ORIGINAL (S5) S39:E5 Wednesday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:25
Well there, hello everyone, and welcome to the
0:27
ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life show.
0:29
I'm so glad you decided to join me
0:31
here today.
0:32
It's great to be with you.
0:33
If this is your very first time here,
0:35
I want to take the opportunity to say
0:36
thank you, and of course, I want to
0:37
say welcome.
0:37
If you've been here one time, five times,
0:40
10, 100, or maybe even more, I'd like
0:43
to say thank you and welcome, but I'd
0:45
also like to say those words, welcome back,
0:48
because it feels really great to be with
0:51
all of you guys today.
0:54
Thank you so much for choosing my content
0:56
and being part of this.
0:57
I really do appreciate it, and I hope
0:59
you're learning lots of great stuff, so really
1:03
great to have you here with me.
1:05
So without any further ado, guys, let's get
1:07
into this show.
1:07
This has been a very powerful week.
1:09
Well, every episode is very powerful.
1:11
Don't forget to grab a snack or some
1:13
RO water like I have, and I have
1:17
a protein bar here, which is actually pretty
1:18
good.
1:27
Okay, welcome everyone to another powerful episode of
1:36
Inspirations for Your Life, and I'm John C.
1:39
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
1:47
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, passionate lifelong learner,
1:50
graduate student at Montgomery State University, and so
1:52
grateful now to be a published author.
1:55
Our weekly master topic is important, and it
2:02
is your creativity isn't gone.
2:04
You just stopped using it.
2:08
I think that's something a lot of people
2:09
miss.
2:10
They don't realize that their creativity isn't gone.
2:14
They just don't know how to access it
2:15
or harness it.
2:16
So today, I'm talking about something that can
2:22
quietly destroy your creativity, okay?
2:27
And what is it?
2:29
It's comparison.
2:31
You see somebody else's work, audience, success, style,
2:35
or ideas, and suddenly what you were creating
2:38
doesn't seem good enough anymore.
2:40
So I think that's a problem for a
2:44
lot of people.
2:45
They get stuck in this mode, and they
2:49
don't really know how to get out of
2:51
this mode, but all they know is they're
2:52
stuck, and they're like, well, what do I
2:53
do now?
2:54
Now what am I supposed to do?
2:55
I think that becomes hard for a lot
2:58
of people.
3:00
So our granular topic for today is comparison
3:03
is killing what makes your original.
3:05
Series 5, show 39, episode number 5.
3:09
Yeah.
3:10
So you start changing it.
3:12
Eventually, you may remove the very thing that
3:16
made it yours, that made you unique.
3:19
I think that's an important thing.
3:21
There's nothing wrong, guys, with being inspired by
3:23
great work.
3:25
Inspiration can show you what's possible.
3:27
The problem begins when you're learning from somebody
3:31
who turns into trying to become them.
3:35
Yeah.
3:37
Number two, guys, learn from others without becoming
3:43
them.
3:44
Study what works.
3:46
Learn techniques, principles, and strategies.
3:51
But bring those lessons back through your own
3:54
experiences and personality.
3:57
Growth shouldn't require losing yourself.
3:59
I think that's an important thing, guys.
4:01
Number three, stop measuring your beginning against your
4:05
experience.
4:09
That's a good one.
4:11
You may be looking at someone's 10th year
4:15
while judging your 10th week.
4:19
You don't know every failure, revision, and mistake
4:23
that happened before the result.
4:26
You're comparing yourself against someone else because of,
4:30
well, your own cynicism, pretty much.
4:35
Number four, comparison can make good ideas feel
4:40
inadequate.
4:42
An idea you love five minutes ago can
4:46
suddenly seem terrible after seeing somebody else's.
4:50
Their work didn't necessarily make yours worse.
4:53
Comparison changed how you were looking at it.
4:56
Number five, your voice develops by using it.
5:00
You don't discover your voice by waiting until
5:03
you're certain what it is.
5:05
You develop it by creating, experimenting, communicating, and
5:09
noticing what consistently feels authentic to you.
5:15
When we think about authentic, authentic is something
5:17
that's unique, right?
5:20
Something that's not copied.
5:22
We think about authentic a lot of times
5:23
when we talk about things like Gucci, Louis
5:25
Vuitton, and other famous designers.
5:29
Is it authentic or is it a knockoff,
5:31
right?
5:31
Is it a copy?
5:32
It's not really the authentic.
5:34
Number six, stop trying to sound like everybody
5:38
you admire.
5:39
Admiration can become imitation without us realizing it.
5:44
Learn from people you respect, but don't borrow
5:50
their entire identity.
5:53
Your goal isn't to become another version of
5:59
them, okay?
6:03
I think sometimes people get lost with that
6:05
because they're like, well, you know, I can
6:07
do this.
6:08
I can do that.
6:08
But then they're like wondering why something's not
6:12
making sense or why we're not getting where
6:15
we need to be, right?
6:21
That's hard for a lot of people, right?
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Very, very hard.
6:30
And I think sometimes people just don't get
6:35
it.
6:35
They don't understand, but they sabotage their own
6:40
efforts.
6:42
And that depresses some people.
6:45
Number seven, borrow principles, not personalities.
6:51
Learn why something works.
6:54
Maybe it's consistency.
6:56
Is it storytelling?
6:57
Is it discipline?
6:57
Is it simplicity or preparation?
7:00
Take the principle and apply it in a
7:04
way that still sounds and feels like you.
7:08
Number eight, your differences are creative assets.
7:13
The things that make you different aren't automatically
7:16
weaknesses.
7:17
Your background, your interests, your skills, experiences, and
7:22
way of thinking can create combinations nobody else
7:25
has, right?
7:28
I think that's an important piece.
7:30
Number nine, don't remove what makes your work
7:33
recognizable.
7:35
If you keep sanding away every unusual edge
7:38
because somebody might not like it, eventually your
7:41
work can become so safe that nobody knows
7:45
it's yours.
7:47
You've removed everything that basically traces it back
7:51
to you.
7:52
And the idea is no longer your idea
7:55
anymore because you removed everything that made it
7:58
you, original.
8:00
Number 10, originality doesn't mean inventing everything from
8:05
nothing.
8:06
Almost every creator has influences.
8:09
Originality often comes from what you combine, how
8:12
you interpret it, and what you contribute from
8:14
your own experience in your life.
8:16
Number 11, creativity often comes from your unique
8:20
combination of influence.
8:22
You may be influenced by technology, businesses, music,
8:29
education, conversations, books, travel, or something completely unrelated.
8:36
Your combination can create something distinctive.
8:42
I think that's an interesting thing to ponder.
8:46
Number 12, your experiences change what you create.
8:51
They alter your perspectives.
8:54
Two people can receive the same assignment and
8:56
produce completely different results because they're bringing different
9:00
lives into the process.
9:05
Your experiences matter.
9:10
Nobody has your exact perspective.
9:12
Number 13, someone may share your profession or
9:17
interests, but nobody has experienced everything exactly as
9:21
you have.
9:23
That's why your perspective has a creative value,
9:27
different than everybody else.
9:30
So many people I know try to be
9:32
like the other person.
9:33
It's okay to learn from them, but then
9:36
you got to put your own spin on
9:37
it, your own style, right?
9:39
Nobody has your exact perspective.
9:43
Someone may share your profession or interests, but
9:46
nobody has experienced everything exactly as you have.
9:49
That's why your perspective has creative value.
9:53
Number 14, stop chasing somebody else's audience.
9:57
Not everybody needs to like what you create.
10:00
If you constantly reshape your work to create
10:02
somebody else's audience, you may lose the people
10:05
who would connect with you.
10:08
Number 15, create for the people who connect
10:12
with your voice.
10:13
You don't need universal approval.
10:16
Focus on creating something genuine enough that the
10:18
right people recognize themselves.
10:20
Learn something or feel a connection.
10:24
Trends can inspire you without controlling you.
10:29
Trends can teach you what's attracting attention.
10:34
But don't let every trend rewrite your identity.
10:38
Use what fits, leave what doesn't.
10:42
Number 17, don't abandon an idea because someone
10:46
else did something similar.
10:48
You still could be different.
10:51
Someone else covering a topic doesn't mean your
10:53
contribution has no value.
10:56
Ask what your experience, explanation, perspective, or approach
11:00
can add.
11:05
That's key.
11:07
Do you do that or do you just
11:08
do anything and hope it works?
11:11
Number 18, ask what only you can bring
11:14
to it.
11:16
This is one of the strongest creative questions
11:19
you can ask.
11:20
What experience, story, skill, personality, or perspective can
11:26
you contribute that makes your version different?
11:32
Makes it different.
11:33
Number 19, your interpretation matters.
11:36
Two people can look at the same problem
11:39
and see different possibilities.
11:40
Creativity isn't only about the subject, guys.
11:43
It's also about what you notice and what
11:46
you do with it, what you do with
11:49
it.
11:52
The way people apply their own thinking and
11:57
their own rationale can dramatically affect whether something
12:00
is successful or not.
12:01
And that happens just because of pivot, just
12:04
because of a shift, right?
12:06
Your interpretation matters, right?
12:10
And two people can look at the same
12:11
problem and see different possibilities.
12:14
Creativity isn't only about the subject.
12:15
It's also about what you notice and what
12:17
you do with it.
12:20
Number 20, stop changing your work every time
12:23
you see somebody else's.
12:25
If you constantly redirect yourself based on what
12:30
someone else posts, launches, or creates, you'll never
12:34
give your own work enough time to develop.
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That's truth.
12:42
Many people here don't want to hear that.
12:44
They don't want to hear the truth.
12:48
They just want to know that they could
12:50
do whatever they want and they can move
12:51
forward.
12:51
But that's not going to help anybody grow,
12:55
right?
12:55
It's not going to help anybody grow.
12:58
I think that's probably the hardest thing that
13:00
I can tell any of you.
13:05
Number 21, develop your ideas.
13:11
The time to develop your own identity is
13:14
also important.
13:16
You can't rush it.
13:18
You shouldn't be photocopying someone else's identity.
13:21
It's okay to get some ideas from what
13:23
they do, but you don't want to become
13:25
that person.
13:27
You're a different person.
13:29
Everyone's unique.
13:32
And I don't want to create the way
13:35
another creator creates.
13:35
I want to create the way John creates.
13:38
I've had some videos going out recently and
13:40
they had 8,000, 10,000 views.
13:42
Why?
13:43
Because it was me.
13:44
Because it was my style.
13:47
Early work may be influenced heavily by what
13:50
you learn from others.
13:52
Keep creating anyway.
13:54
Over time, your preferences and instincts can become
13:59
clearer, okay?
14:02
Clearer than what they were.
14:03
Number 22, comparison interrupts creative momentum.
14:10
But why do people do that?
14:12
They get scared.
14:14
They figure, oh, it's not going to work,
14:15
so I've got to do something else.
14:18
I think that's probably one of the most
14:19
important things, right?
14:22
That's probably one of the most important things
14:24
that I can tell you.
14:25
But people don't want to hear this stuff.
14:28
You could be making great progress until you
14:30
stop to measure yourself against someone else.
14:34
Suddenly, you're questioning everything.
14:37
Protect momentum by returning your attention to your
14:41
work.
14:44
Yeah.
14:46
Attention, awareness, big keys to success, guys.
14:53
Number 23, protect unfinished ideas from unnecessary opinions.
14:58
An unfinished idea can be fragile.
15:01
You don't need 10 opinions before you understand
15:05
what you're trying to create.
15:07
Give some ideas room before opening them to
15:11
everybody else.
15:12
That's the biggest thing I can tell you.
15:15
Number 24, not everyone needs to understand what
15:19
you're building.
15:21
They don't have to understand.
15:22
Some people won't understand your idea, especially in
15:27
the beginning.
15:28
Listen carefully to useful concerns.
15:31
But don't you dare assume confusion automatically means
15:36
you should quit.
15:37
I know a lot of people that they
15:39
say, you know what?
15:39
I've had enough.
15:40
I want to quit.
15:42
And they're just getting started, right?
15:47
They are just getting started.
15:52
I think that's a hard thing for a
15:56
lot of people to realize.
16:01
That it's about getting started.
16:04
And sometimes when we get started, guys, it's
16:06
not the easiest way.
16:10
It's not the easiest way.
16:11
And that's just the truth.
16:13
That's no smoke.
16:14
That's no mirrors.
16:15
That's just the truth.
16:17
So if you're doing something and it's not
16:19
working properly, what do you do?
16:22
You don't quit.
16:23
You say, well, gee, how can I do
16:24
this another way?
16:26
You know, what would it look like when
16:28
I'm successful?
16:29
What would it feel like?
16:31
Where would I be?
16:33
How would I breathe?
16:34
How would I hold my head?
16:35
How would I walk?
16:37
How would I talk?
16:39
I'd be different.
16:42
So your own individuality, your own creativity will
16:47
usually attract people towards you.
16:51
They're curious about you.
16:52
They want to learn what makes you tick.
16:55
They want to learn like what fires you
17:00
up.
17:01
Not everybody.
17:04
And you can share that knowledge with them
17:08
and they can apply it to their lives,
17:13
tell their friends, their family, their colleagues.
17:17
Right?
17:19
Number 25, feedback should improve your work, not
17:24
erase you from it.
17:28
John, that's good.
17:29
But what do you mean by that?
17:30
It's really simple.
17:35
Good feedback can make your work stronger.
17:38
But if every suggestion removes another piece of
17:41
your personality, eventually the thinnest product, they belong
17:46
to everybody except you.
17:52
Everybody except you.
17:56
That's important, guys.
18:00
Very important to know that.
18:04
Number 26, know which advice belongs to you.
18:10
Not all advice is wrong, but not all
18:13
advice is right for your direction.
18:15
Listen, evaluate, and decide whether the advice actually
18:19
serves what you're trying to create.
18:24
If it doesn't, come up with something else.
18:30
A lot of people are afraid to go
18:32
back to the drawing board.
18:33
This is what I've noticed.
18:36
And that's a very, very big problem, right?
18:43
That's a very, very big problem that I
18:45
think a lot of people, they miss it.
18:48
They don't understand why.
18:51
And that miss is a problem for somebody.
18:54
Like, well, how come this is this way?
18:56
Or how come I'm doing this?
18:58
Be open to new possibilities.
19:02
Number 27, trust your creative instinct enough to
19:07
test them.
19:08
You don't have to blindly believe every instinct.
19:12
Test it.
19:13
Try the idea.
19:15
Create a version.
19:16
See what happens.
19:18
Give your instincts a chance to produce evidence
19:21
for you.
19:23
I think when you do that, you're going
19:25
to suddenly see, wait a minute.
19:27
You know what?
19:28
I'm actually good at what I do.
19:30
Just believe in yourself for a little bit.
19:33
Many people I know, they give up right
19:35
away.
19:43
And this happens because people get overanxious.
19:47
I mean, that's the real reason.
19:55
And that allows you to say, you know,
19:58
this is where I am in my life
20:00
right now.
20:00
How do I change this?
20:02
You can.
20:03
Absolutely, you can change it.
20:05
Number 28, your originality grows when you stop
20:09
performing for comparison.
20:12
When you're constantly asking how you measure up,
20:15
you're creating with somebody else's scoreboard in your
20:19
head.
20:20
Put it down and concentrate on making your
20:23
work better than it was yesterday.
20:27
Number 29, make something that actually sounds like
20:31
you.
20:35
Your work should eventually carry something recognizable from
20:39
you.
20:41
Potentially your humor, your values, curiosity, experiences, questions,
20:47
or maybe just your style, the persona you
20:51
are.
20:54
And you should have room to show up
20:57
as you.
20:58
You don't need to show up as someone
20:59
else.
21:01
Too many people in life say, you know
21:02
what?
21:03
This isn't working for me.
21:04
I got to become that person.
21:05
You don't need to become that person.
21:06
You don't need to become that social media
21:08
expert.
21:09
You can learn some things, but you can't
21:11
always.
21:24
That's important.
21:28
It's important to know that some people get
21:34
lost.
21:38
They feel that they're inadequate.
21:42
So they give up.
21:47
They give up.
21:56
They give up.
22:00
And then they realize that they're not any
22:03
better than they were.
22:11
They're not any better than they were.
22:12
And that gets people discouraged.
22:17
Number 30, the world doesn't need another copy
22:20
when it hasn't seen your own version.
22:22
Why don't you show the world who you
22:24
are, not of someone else's?
22:27
That's what I want you to remember today.
22:31
The world already has the person you're comparing
22:35
yourself with.
22:36
It already has their voice, their creativity, their
22:40
perspective, their style, their experience, their humor, their
22:47
approach, their perspectives.
22:55
What it doesn't have, though, is your exact
22:58
combination of those things.
23:01
Comparison can be useful when it teaches you.
23:03
It becomes destructive when it convinces you that
23:06
becoming more like somebody else is the only
23:09
way to become better.
23:11
Learn from other people.
23:13
Great doing that.
23:14
Study excellent work.
23:15
Accept useful feedback.
23:17
Pay attention to trends.
23:18
But don't surrender your identity in the progress.
23:21
Your creativity is too valuable.
23:23
It needs enough freedom to become recognizable as
23:27
yours.
23:28
Maybe your version won't appeal to everybody.
23:30
That's okay.
23:32
Maybe somebody else is further ahead.
23:35
It's okay.
23:36
Keep going.
23:37
Maybe your work still needs improvement.
23:39
It's okay.
23:40
Improve it.
23:41
But don't confuse improvement with imitation.
23:45
You can become better without becoming somebody else.
23:49
And remember our weekly master topic.
23:52
Your creativity isn't gone.
23:55
You stopped using it.
23:58
Part of using your creativity, again, is trusting
24:01
that your perspective deserves an opportunity to develop.
24:07
So stop checking whether your work looks like
24:10
theirs.
24:12
Ask whether it looks, sounds, and feels increasingly
24:16
like you.
24:18
Because you see, your differences aren't obstacles to
24:21
originality.
24:22
They're part of where originality comes from.
24:25
The world doesn't need another copy.
24:28
And it hasn't seen your unique and very
24:32
special version.
24:34
I think those are the things that most
24:36
people in life forget.
24:39
You know what?
24:39
Joe's doing it like this.
24:40
Mary's doing it like this.
24:41
They're amazing.
24:42
They're awesome.
24:47
They've been doing it for longer than you
24:48
have.
24:50
You haven't seen the mistakes they made, but
24:52
they made mistakes too.
24:54
Okay.
24:55
Show the world your originality.
24:59
That's what you need to do.
25:01
As I said, the world doesn't need another
25:03
copy of someone else.
25:06
We don't need that.
25:08
You know what gets traffic in social media?
25:11
When you become your authentic self.
25:16
Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know who
25:17
I am by now, I'm John C.
25:19
Morley.
25:19
I'm a serial entrepreneur, graduate student at Montgomery
25:22
State University, and so much more.
25:24
And this has been another powerful episode of
25:27
Inspirations for Your Life.
25:30
I thank you so much for choosing to
25:32
spend this precious time with me today.
25:35
And I know as a lot of you
25:37
are pondering and wondering, how do I show
25:42
up as me?
25:45
Well, I think a lot of people that
25:47
get stuck there are stuck because they're trying
25:49
to perfect themselves.
25:51
Just show up as you.
25:53
You know, if it's a little messy, a
25:54
little rough, that's fine.
25:56
But just show up as you.
25:59
You'll find your way.
26:00
You'll see what you need to adapt to.
26:02
It's not going to happen overnight, guys.
26:06
But you will slowly find your own way.
26:11
And as you do, your life will change
26:14
because your perspectives will change.
26:20
Your vision will change.
26:23
When that changes, your outcome changes.
26:28
When your outcome changes, guess what happens, ladies
26:30
and gentlemen?
26:31
Your life changes and it gets really good.
26:35
But too many people say, oh, I hit
26:36
a wall.
26:38
I can't go any further.
26:42
How committed are you to achieving your desires,
26:46
your goals?
26:49
It is something you're going to do because
26:51
it's convenient now.
26:53
But when it becomes inconvenient, you say, oh,
26:56
you know what?
26:57
I'm too busy.
26:58
I know a lot of people that give
26:59
up when it gets hard or it gets
27:02
uncomfortable.
27:03
I've said it before, life successes do not
27:06
happen in the comfortable zone.
27:11
They just don't.
27:12
They never will.
27:15
I didn't say painful.
27:16
I said uncomfortable.
27:18
There's a huge difference pushing ourself just a
27:23
little bit further.
27:25
So as I get ready to wind up
27:28
the show today, I want to ask you
27:31
all to commit to keep learning from others,
27:35
to keep developing your powerful voice, to keep
27:39
creating and never let comparison erase what makes
27:44
your work yours and so very special.
27:51
Your individuality is waiting to burst out and
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shine.
27:58
Let it, guys.
27:59
Check out BelieveMeTV.com for more of my
28:00
amazing, of course, inspiring creations.
28:02
I'll see you real soon.
28:03
Be well, everyone.
28:31
Bye.