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168 // What Courage in ADHD Looks Like · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  What does courage in ADHD look like? And how is courage in our lives going to help us?
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  You are. In this podcast, I will give you the strategies to build God-centered
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  confidence so you can know in your heart that you do belong.
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  You are enough and you are made on purpose and with a purpose.
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  Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD mom and entrepreneur.
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host, Kelsey Spronk.
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  And today we're going to talk about what courage in ADHD looks like.
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  I'm going to give you six ways that you can recognize courage,
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  that you can practice courage.
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  And at the end of the episode, I'm also going to share with you what I believe
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  courage can do for us in our lives.
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  So courage is the mental or moral strength to face danger, fear,
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  difficulty, or pain. And it means moving forward even when we feel scared.
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  Now, I don't know about you, but one of the major ways that a lot of us feel
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  scared with ADHD is rejection sensitivity.
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  It can cause us to feel things a lot more deeply, and it can also leave us in
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  a place of feeling afraid for future rejection or failure.
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  So that is something that we're going to talk about today and what it is that
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  you can do to move past that.
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  I wanted to share from 2 Timothy 1, 6-7. It says, That is why I remind you to
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  use the gift God gave you.
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  God gave you that gift when I
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  laid my hands on you. Now let it grow as a small flame grows into a fire.
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  God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid.
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  He gave us a spirit of power and love and self-control. So just that reminder that.
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  Fear is not coming from God, and that is not something that we are supposed
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  to be living in, is that fear.
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  And it's easier said than done, and I think it's really important as well to
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  recognize that we need God's strength in our lives in order to live courageously.
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  So here are the six ways that I believe you can see courage in someone with ADHD.
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  So courage and adhd looks like number one trying again even when we've been
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  rejected or we feel like we've failed,
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  so that piece of rejection sensitivity maybe we feel like we've been rejected
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  by somebody whether we know definitively or whether we feel like we've been rejected,
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  it can be so incredibly hard to try again and that can transfer from the person
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  who rejected us and then we just want to shut down and not talk to anybody else,
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  and I believe it takes a lot of courage to try again and that doesn't mean that
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  you have to try again immediately I mean I think I mentioned this but the other
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  day in the coffee shop I had somebody,
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  you know for for no apparent reason essentially tell me to leave and that I
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  was bothering them just by my presence there,
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  and I was so devastated I ended up crying and leaving and it definitely affected the rest of my day.
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  But what I realized was that it was so important to still try again not necessarily
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  with that person that I didn't even know
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  but just try again with talking to other people and it can be really scary,
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  especially initially after you've received that rejection or feel like you failed
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  at something. It can be really scary to try again.
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  But I'll talk at the end here about why it's so incredibly important to still
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  try and to live courageously.
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  The second way is it takes courage to explain what it's actually like to have ADHD.
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  So educating people on ADHD. There are still a lot of misconceptions,
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  misunderstandings out there.
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  And this can feel scary. It can feel scary. What if, once again,
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  what if they reject me? What if they disagree with me? What if they don't like
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  me? Whatever those things are.
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  But it takes courage and it's so important for us to work,
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  on the educating piece it doesn't mean you have to do it all the time or with
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  everyone maybe there are some people that you recognize it's not safe to do
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  that with but as we do this we can help hopefully help alleviate some of the stigma around it,
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  number three it takes courage to self-advocate,
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  now there are several pieces to this But the first one is self-knowledge,
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  and that's something that I talk about a lot here in the podcast.
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  I'm working on completing a 30-day ADHD confidence course where you're going
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  to learn a lot of self-knowledge, who you are, your strengths, how your brain works.
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  If we want to advocate for ourselves, which takes a lot of courage,
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  first we need to know who we are.
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  We need to know what we like, what gives us life, what drains us.
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  We need to know what kind of strengths we have, passions we have,
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  what kind of purpose we feel like we're called to.
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  So that we can then recognize the areas where we need to ask for help or support
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  or accommodations or where we need to say, hey, I have a strength in this area.
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  Can I please do this? Whether it's in our work, our families,
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  our friendships, whatever it is.
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  This is an area where one-on-one ADHD coaching can help.
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  So if you would like to partner with me on that, I would be honored.
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  You can go to ADHDwithconfidence.com forward slash offerings.
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  We start with a free 15 minute intake call. And that's simply just to explain
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  what coaching is, what we can work on, and then allow you time to schedule your call.
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  All right. The last piece here of self-advocating is setting boundaries.
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  Once again, this is something that takes a lot of courage. So in any of these
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  things I talk about today, if you have done these, celebrate that.
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  This has shown a lot of courage to advocate for yourself to set boundaries especially
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  with other people takes a lot of courage because people are not always going to like that,
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  and they're not necessarily going to understand or agree with that but it doesn't
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  mean it's not important.
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  Number four of what courage can look like in someone with ADHD is knowing when
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  to say something to stand up to speak up and when not to.
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  So in this example the other day with this woman who was really rude at the
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  coffee shop my seven-year-old was with me and by the grace of god i managed to not say something,
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  But it's just an example of the fact that standing up and being courageous doesn't
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  always mean confrontation in these situations.
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  Sometimes there are people, like in this example, where it just really wasn't worth it.
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  It doesn't mean that after I didn't say a bunch of stuff in my car that,
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  you know, I pretended I was saying to them.
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  But in that moment, I did not say anything to this person. And I think it takes
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  a lot of courage to walk away from something, to step away, to not engage in
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  an argument or a conversation like that.
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  All right, number five, I believe it takes courage to be open,
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  honest, and vulnerable.
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  Now, take this with a grain of salt. You don't need to do that with everybody.
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  You don't need to do what I'm doing and share on a podcast. That's okay.
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  We are each called to different things.
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  But I believe it takes a lot of courage to be open honest and vulnerable about
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  who you are about the challenges in your life,
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  about the the strengths that you have your passions your dreams but I think
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  it's so incredibly beautiful as well and this,
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  is where we can foster that deep meaningful connection with other people and
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  this is I honestly believe this is one of the most beautiful things,
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  about ADHD brains.
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  Pretty much everybody I have met with ADHD, even if I don't know they have ADHD,
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  but I can kind of tell, there is this connection because we are both willing
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  to be open, honest, and vulnerable.
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  And that is something that takes courage. And that is something that I want
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  to encourage you to do in situations where you feel safe.
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  Number six, it takes courage to try something new, something that's challenging,
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  something that's difficult for you, whether that's,
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  saying hi to somebody, making new friends, sending a text, inviting somebody to something,
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  whether that's asking about working in a different department at your job,
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  whether that's trying a new activity that's interesting for you.
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  It takes courage to try new things, especially when they're ones that are scary for us.
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  But I'm going to get into in a second here what courage can do for us.
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  So in all these areas I talked about, courage can bring us new opportunities,
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  which can be fulfilling, which can change the direction of our life,
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  which can bring that fulfillment that we're looking for, that meaningful life.
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  Courage can bring us new friendships or relationships.
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  It can also deepen the ones that we already have.
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  When you think about a friendship or a relationship that you're in,
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  when we get stuck in that fear, that rejection sensitivity, and we don't want
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  to bring up something that hurt us, we're slowly going to close off.
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  We're going to shut down, put up a wall, and that's going to create a barrier
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  between us and that other person.
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  But when we have the courage to talk to the other person, to explain to them
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  what happened, there is the potential for so much more depth and authenticity
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  within that relationship.
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  Courage can also bring us a sense of purpose, and it can also allow us to make impact in the world.
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  I think there's a lot of different ways this can be done. But I look at,
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  you know, starting this podcast a couple of years ago, if I would have stayed
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  in fear, I never would have started it.
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  And it took courage for me. I didn't know, I still don't know who exactly is listening.
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  But that's the beauty of when we step out in courage is that God can use those moments.
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  And it doesn't have to be on a big scale in front of a lot of people.
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  That can be the courage to go and talk to that person that you see at the grocery
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  store at the coffee shop whatever it is the courage to talk to your close friend
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  about what's been going on for them courage can bring,
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  that sense of purpose and that impact that we can have.
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  Courage can also bring us fulfillment and it can bring us joy.
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  A part of that, like I talked about advocating for ourselves,
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  being open and honest, authentic in our relationships, trying new things,
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  trying again, especially when it's something that,
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  we want to be in or we want to participate in, but we've been too afraid.
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  That courage can really bring us that sense of joy and fulfillment when we try again.
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  I hope you found something helpful or encouraging from today.
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  Remember if you need any help with any of this i would love to partner with
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  you through adhd coaching
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  you can go to adhdwithconfidence.com forward slash offerings and start by booking
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  a free intake coaching call,
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  until next time god bless.