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EP 73 Homeschooling... a Journey for the Family - Kim Ford · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:00
  God is really looking for a people that just will believe Him. Believe Him at His word. And especially regarding parenting right now, taking for the scriptures, show the beauty of the transformative gospel. The gospel wasn't just given to us to save us, but to change us. It's what if God must use my family? Welcome to iRefresh, where we talk about the power of prayer in God's word.
• 0:28
  Welcome to another episode where I have our friend Kim Ford. Welcome. Thank you. I'm delighted to be here, Cheryl.
• 0:34
  You have an organization that you lead for homeschool families and like pretty large amount of people, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. I marvel at that because the whole idea when I was with my parenting skills, I thought there is no way I'd have that discipline. And so I marvel at what you do. And I just thought it would be wonderful to have you come and share your story of like, what are you doing and where do you see where God is showing us how to lead our children?
• 1:01
  Well, Cheryl, thank you so much. I think that we're all overwhelmed when we start the parenting journey, whether you homeschool, home educate, whatever decisions you make for education, it is quite a responsibility.
• 1:13
  And when my oldest son was five, my husband was traveling overseas missions. Actually, we were all traveling together. And we just thought, why stop now? We think that this, taking our kids around the world to see the needs and to help bring the church and the gospel to those places, what a better education could we give our children than that? And so we made a decision out of the first year, it was just out of convenience because we didn't want to stop what we were doing.
• 1:39
  And you have how many kids? Oh, we have six children. Okay. We have six children. That makes a bigger difference. That's not easy travel with six. Well, we didn't start out with six. So you're doing one at a time. Okay. And I didn't start homeschooling six. Okay. And so there's a difference there. Okay. But after the first year, I thought, well, I could teach my son how to read and write. And I thought, how hard can that be? Right. And of course, I felt like I fell flat on my face a number of times. And my kindergartner wasn't reading quite as well as I thought he should be.
• 2:07
  It's interesting how the Lord draws you into something and then you realize there's a bigger picture. We started homeschooling a year at a time and kind of took it that way. Just listen to the Lord, listen to the Holy Spirit. And really what it comes down to this, Cheryl, is realizing this one idea that God gave us our children. And unbelievable to me, he trusts us with our children. It's like, I don't know.
• 2:36
  why or how. And it is, it's sobering, and realizing that he, for some reason, trusts us to train, to raise, to educate, to love our children. And really, it's an example of just who he is. He's always picked families. It was the first institution he established. And so homeschooling for me became this journey of like, how do I allow Christ
• 3:02
  to be Lord of our family. And as academics and education was just a vehicle for that. And so whether people, public school, private school, or however they choose, I think God is just looking for an open heart,
• 3:14
  to disciple our families and disciple our children to know Christ. So it goes more than just doing the academics that you saw beyond that. For me, the Lord started really speaking to me about so many things. And it was a real surrender. Parenting is, isn't it? To let go, to lay your life down for the love of another.
• 3:34
  Right. To follow Christ. It's like I'm not following my plans as much as I just want to be obedient to what Christ wants to do, us to do in our families. And one of the things that my dad did with us when we were growing up is we would, every summer we were so excited, he would take us on trips on a sailboat to Catalina Island.
• 3:52
  Love that. It was so fun. And we would get in the boat, pack all of our gear up, and we couldn't wait. We were going to spend a week or two in Avalon Bay. And we'd get on the boat. And it wouldn't be long before we'd leave land, and there would be no siding of land around.
• 4:06
  And I was like, how in the world do we know where we're going? We can't see land on either side. And sometimes the storms would come and sometimes we'd be going at night, but my dad had set coordinates for Avalon Bay. It was 38 degrees west and 90 degrees north. And he had set our compass and automatic tiller to take us where we wanted to go. So it really didn't matter the wind. It didn't matter the waves. It didn't matter whether it was dark or light.
• 4:33
  We always went to Avalon Bay. Same place. And I think parenting is a lot like that, that sometimes we jump into the parenting boat and we don't know where we're going.
• 4:42
  and we lose sight of something that we think that we want, and then we've really lost our way. And each child's different though. Every child is different. Yeah, it's maneuvering. You can't do the same thing for each child and get the same result. No, and that's why it's so important that you listen to the Lord. And I love the scripture talks about where there's no vision that people perish.
• 5:05
  I don't love that scripture because I don't want to perish, but I do love the idea of vision. And it's interesting when you read that the word perish is also can be translated cast off restraint or the people will go wild. Okay. People will lose their way. And it's something today for me to look at culture. And when we have lost vision,
• 5:30
  We've lost our way and people have cast off restraint and they've gone wild. And there's a heartbreaking reality that this is a lot of our culture today. And so my thing is, and my encouragement is that why don't we become parents who really get our coordinates set?
• 5:53
  And for me, it's not just like what I want, but what does God want? Where does he desire us to go? Because I decided a long time ago that if I just lock into what God wants, if his desires become my desires, I have a better chance of succeeding than just doing whatever I want to do. Right. And so for us, for parenting, it's just going back to asking some big questions. What does God think of the family?
• 6:21
  God always uses families. And it was his first institution he established with Adam and Eve. And then we go down in Genesis 12, and Abraham is receiving a covenant from God. And God is inviting him to be a part of this covenant. And he's saying, Abraham, I love you so much, and I want to bless you so much.
• 6:39
  And in fact, I want to bless your family. And not just your family, but look at the stars. Look at the sky. Can you count the number of stars? Abraham, that's going to be the number of your descendants. Yeah, but the thing is, too, is he did it to someone who physically looked like they couldn't even have it. Which is, that's even the extra bonus. That's right. They were not a couple that had the possibility. It was impossible. Right. Not just for them to conceive, but for them to even imagine. And I believe Abraham started imagining.
• 7:09
  That's good. And started dreaming. It's like, God, you said something, and I don't see it anyway. Right. And make a few, had a few bumps along the way, but he believed what God said. And I think God is really looking for people that just will believe him. Right. Believe him at his word. And especially regarding parenting right now, it's his institution. He established it. And you go further down, and you see Jesus was a part of a family. I mean, you think about it. It's just remarkable when I think about it. Right. Right.
• 7:39
  Who was Elizabeth in Jesus's life? It was his aunt. And so John the Baptist was his cousin. His mother, Mary, was willing to revoke her reputation to obey God. His father was willing to lay down his own reputation to cover Mary. This is who Jesus was the surrounding with. But what's interesting, Jesus and John the Baptist shared the same grandfather.
• 8:04
  That's interesting. Isn't that amazing? So there was a patriarch of the family who had a vision for what God was saying. God had been silent for years, hundreds of years God had been silent. But he still had a patriarch who said, I believe God's promises are still true. And I believe, Cheryl, more than any other time, God is just seeking and searching out for parents and,
• 8:30
  who say, you know, I believe his promises are true. Sure, we may be in a culture where everything's been cast off and there's no restraint. But what if God wants to use my family? You know, for people who don't have that legacy, you know, you just talked about it was a legacy that Jesus and John the Baptist had.
• 8:47
  And he's from the lineage, you know, to David. But for what do you say to the person who has a broken home or someone who came out of an orphanage, you know, or adopted? What do you say to those people? Like, well, how can I even be able to qualify to be able to lead? If you're a new parent or a parent and you're struggling, you can use the excuse, well, but I don't have that heritage. How could you speak to them? Because I think...
• 9:16
  you look at Jesus' lineage, and there were many broken relationships in his lineage. That's true. You know, there were people that were prostitutes, and there were people who denied God. But then you, I think God's asking a different question. Are you willing to start a lineage?
• 9:34
  That's great. And so I love the Psalms, or it's in numbers. And he says that I'm going to bless your family up to thousands of generations. Yes. And when you look at that, a thousand generation, it's kind of crazy. It's 38,000 years. Wow. And so it's like there's no end. Right. And wherever you start doesn't matter. It's because the end, it goes beyond anything we can imagine or dream.
• 10:00
  And I love the hope that I find in the scriptures for parents and for our children. And for me, when we first started parenting, I knew more about what I didn't want in children than what I wanted. Wow. Because, you know, you see it. You see the kids that are like, I don't want attitude and I don't want this. Finally, the Lord just says, well, what do you want? I said, well, I want this.
• 10:23
  I'm not sure, but I do know this. I want them to love God with their hearts and with their minds and with their bodies.
• 10:32
  And I want them to love their neighbors and themselves. So like there's two things right there I can lock into. There you go. And out of that umbrella, all these other things fall into place. And so for us, it became pretty, pretty simple. Is this going to help us fit our family mission to know God and to love God with our minds? And so we were more guarded with what we watched and what we read and the relationships that we had. Am I going to love them with their, how do they love them with their souls?
• 11:01
  and their emotions. Well, we're gonna talk through things. We're gonna learn how to forgive each other. Having four boys, there was a lot of, you had boys. Oh yeah. A lot of fists. A lot of wrestling. Flying and pillows being tossed in the air. And we taught our boys at an early age how to love their brothers.
• 11:20
  What is it? For every put down, there's three put ups. You know, just learning how to speak life after you've hurt someone with your words, how to forgive someone who's angered you and frustrated you. So that all falls underneath the umbrella, how to love a Lord your God. But then you have parenting skills.
• 11:38
  What about the mother, father, whoever they are? They're like, I don't have that background. Like, how do I start? How do you birth in them hope, and where do you go from here? Because if you already have a child who has a phone, who's always on the phone, or the video gamer, you know,
• 11:53
  How do you create where it's not rebellion and that constant? Because, you know, the scripture does talk about that. We don't want to spur our kids on to be rebellious and create anger in them. How can you shift with what they're doing right now into the place where your family is? That's a big question because I think the first thing is you've got to know where do you want to, what are your coordinates? What is your why? And if you just, if you want to have nice children and kind children,
• 12:22
  then that's great. But if you want to have children who love God, there's a lot behind that. And it's a lot of,
• 12:29
  modeling that for your own children if i want my children i'm asking my children training them i've set some coordinates but if i'm not loving god if i'm not learning how to love him with what i watch and what i say and what i listen to then it's going to be a lot my i'm going to become a hypocrite to my children and they've got they've got sensors for that it's not going to last very long right um
• 12:54
  But I think the other thing, Cheryl, is getting together with a light community to have the same coordinates you have. And if you don't have one, build one. Good. And inviting people to be a part of your journey is,
• 13:04
  We really worked hard at building a community of like-minded families. In fact, now all of our children are graduating and getting married. And they're the same women that when there is a shower, we're doing the showers. And when there is a wedding, we're helping with breakfast brunches and that type of thing. So just build what you want.
• 13:25
  Isn't that amazing? It's like, go build what you want. I mean, no excuses. It's like, I don't have this. There's no box. That's what I'm hearing. You don't look at what you can't do and excuses of why I can't. Knowing what the Word says and helping even our kids by example is to emulate love and the kindness and those fruits of the Spirit. You're living the example is what you're saying. Then how do you do the tactics of the current life?
• 13:54
  culture issues. This is something that I've thought a lot about. If we show our children the goodness and the beauty and the love of God, there is nothing in this world that we need to be nervous about or compares to that.
• 14:09
  And so looking for opportunities to have those conversations and pointing out, this is what darkness looks like. This is what life looks like. And as a parent, when you let go of freedom, when you give your children freedom, it's hard to get those freedoms back. And so for me, you know, I think those are bigger questions about how much technology, how much time on social media, what kind of protections do you have in your home? Like when our kids' friends come over.
• 14:34
  they can't just go anywhere they want to on the internet because our internet's locked down. Right. But also having access to their technology. They live at your home, you pay for things, and doesn't mean you give them freedom.
• 14:46
  to manage those things because honestly, it's not worth it. Right. It is unbelievable how open access from our homes has given a stream of evil and debauchery to our children. And once a young boy or a young girl has been exposed for a short amount of time, it's an addiction that they're gonna be dealing with for years. And it's our job as parents
• 15:15
  to say that's enough. Not in my home, not on my watch. And I don't know what that means for these homes and for parents, but it probably has something to do with cutting off technology and cutting off access. Our children are sacred, they're beautiful vessels that God wants to imprint his image on.
• 15:37
  And when we have made it even hard for them to imagine the beauty of Christ because of something that they're having to deal with. Distorting. Yeah, distorting. Yeah, distorting. Perverting. It's all about distorting God's truth. Yes. And who they are. And so if there was anything I'd say to young parents, it's like, no, it's not worth it. It's good.
• 15:57
  Hello! Thank you so much for watching this episode of iRefresh. If you haven't already, make sure you hit the bell at the bottom of this video. Also, if you need a prayer need, we would love to hear from you. Please email us at info at iRefresh.net. Check out our website that has teaching, devotions, and scripture to pray about many topics. This may not be advice that everybody wants, but I say be the parent.
• 16:21
  Choose carefully the freedoms that you give your children, and don't give them access to the fire hose of evil and filth and the culture, because it will destroy. But God is always a God of redemption. And so for us, just when there has been exposure or there's been access to something, we have gotten very involved, and we have not turned a blind eye to it. We've worked really hard.
• 16:49
  to bring healing and restoration to our children. We have friends that
• 16:56
  Their children have gotten caught in a web of deception. And I think that's where we just need to lean in and support each other in prayer. Right. I think, you know, bottom line really is it's all about prayer. And I know, like you've talked about the prayer in the very beginning. It's about praying through and asking the Holy Spirit to really lead you. So for everything that comes up in the way of parenting is we're trusting God. We're in his words. We know how to pray. Mm-hmm.
• 17:21
  Learning how to pray into our children's lives. That's right. And then having those dialogues with our kids, I think, is really important. And I've had that with my sons when they bring up a conversation. I try not to, at this point, they're older, is not telling them what to do now, but it's having an open conversation of now. It's shifting towards considering.
• 17:41
  This is what I believe now as a testimony. I've learned more of I'm testifying my experience and what works for me when they're struggling with something and asking them to pray into it. And for me, I found that has been helpful is if they're open to at least listening to my how I've overcome something or what can they do? And, you know, I've had a situation recently where I'm like, OK, let's begin by praying in the spirit. Mm hmm.
• 18:05
  And let's see where the Holy Spirit leads you and helping you to overcome something that you didn't want to see, but you had no way of stopping it. Now let's pray into it. And we just kept praying. I said, okay, now you're going to put your worship music on. And we're going to let the enemy know that he's defeated and that my God is a God of miracles. And he can remove everything out of our mind and our thinking and pray.
• 18:27
  put in it pure thoughts. Because that's what his heart is. Thinking on those things are pure, lovely, and a good report. You know, so I think it's all of us helping each other. Like you said, one another, but within our kids, helping them because it's harder than ever before. My kids are older now. I said the elementary years are very, and the preschool years are very,
• 18:47
  frustrating years for the parents because they're very physical. They're nonstop. Your children are learning what their boundaries are and you as a parent are having to be the reminder of what those boundaries are. But I also see God has made our children to have these amazing brains and minds that they can memorize and they can learn. It's really the time to download
• 19:09
  just the scripture and the word of God. I remember we were at a store one time and my son came home and I was like, where did you hear that song? He was eight and he could sing it, the verses, and he'd never heard it before, but just was, he had that, that was in his brain. He could memorize that quickly. And so I encourage all parents in the preschool years and the elementary school years to just get them in an environment where they're learning scriptures. They're learning the truths of the Bible. Learning the word of God, but also being an environment, a healthy life-giving environment where they're
• 19:38
  They're learning about the presence of God. They're learning about the things of the Spirit. It is just an amazing, they're amazing sponges. And when they get to that middle school years, they start asking questions. They start pushing back a little bit. It's like really what they're doing
• 19:53
  is trying to figure out how do I fit into this world? What's my relationship with you going to be like? What's my relationship with my siblings going to be like? And there's a pushback and there's a questioning. And my tendency as a parent is to just kind of control that environment versus lean into it. Okay. And so my encouragement is in those years,
• 20:15
  to realize they're made to try to determine, how do I fit in here? And how does a scripture fit in here? And what is God saying here? And when this happened with this relationship, how do I mesh the worlds? God has given them these years, you know, his middle school years, trying to figure out how they belong, how they connect. And I say lean in even more. They say that a kid, like a child,
• 20:37
  when they're babies, they receive like 30 to 50 hugs a day. As they move through elementary years, that moves down to 12 to 15. Okay. By the time a child is in high school, they may receive a hug a day. Wow. And so that's how awkward we become as parents. Mm-hmm. And like we're trying to figure them out and give them space. And my encouragement was lean in. Right. Right.
• 21:00
  have the hard conversations. When they have a friend that is asking about gender, they're trying to figure out, those are the years to take them to the scriptures. So they show the beauty of the transformative gospel. The gospel wasn't just given to us to save us, but to change us and to reform us and to deliver us. You look at the world and there's not answers of transformations.
• 21:27
  It's like, no, you're stuck with that. That's who you are. And Jesus never, ever preached that gospel. The gospel was always about transforming a life, transforming a heart. And then when you get to high school, start leaning in also and helping them lead. Learn to lead in those things in the church, in the youth groups. Giving them opportunities to exercise those things they learned. Give them a small group where they're mentoring the 12-year-old boys and they're in high school and,
• 21:54
  but where they're learning to exercise those things they know and that they are believing, but they become a student. You know, how much more we learn when there's something required of us. Good. I want to encourage you as parents, one, to figure out your coordinates. Where are you supposed to be going as a parent? Don't just jump in the boat and let the wind take you wherever it might, but jump in the boat
• 22:21
  You may be already in the boat, but jump in that boat realizing I've got a plan. And it's God's plan. And I want to encourage you. That's a big plan. And that's enough. And then set your coordinates for that plan. Find promises to stand on. And when the storms come, you have the authority given to you by God to say, peace be still and not on my watch. And I just encourage you, even as Jesus spoke to the storm.
• 22:50
  And he called that storm to be quiet. And you have that same authority. He's given that to you as a parent. And then I also want to encourage you to pray for your children. And if you have adult children that you're praying for and prodigals, I want to tell you your authority is mighty. He's given you full access to his authority on this earth. Call those kids in. Love them well. Don't step down until you see them coming back
• 23:20
  coming back to Jesus. And it doesn't matter how dark it seems or how far away they feel from you. God's going to send people to help them to open a door so they can come back home. And don't stop praying. Lean in with some other friends. Find some other people that need miracles in their family. Link arms and start a prayer group. One sends a thousand to, there's a multiplication, ten thousands. Ten thousands.
• 23:46
  And don't forget that he is the one that established families. He is the one that designed the whole idea of families. He's also appointed you to be a parent and anointed you. And he is pleased. Thank you, Kim, for sharing your story. Thank you, Cheryl, for having me. Tune in to the next time.