Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Signs that Narcissist is about to BAIL on the relationship
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:01Today we're going to be talking about signs that a narcissist is
- 0:05about to bail on you. That signs that a narcissist is
- 0:07about to dip out and leave you. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:10Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
- 0:12welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
- 0:32Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
- 0:33Yes, yes, yes. Signs that a narcissist or toxic
- 0:37person is about to bail on you, about to leave the relationship,
- 0:40about to dip out on you. So this question asked that was
- 0:43actually recommended to me from the comment section, somebody
- 0:47said, hey Lee, can you do a video about narcissist and when
- 0:49they're about to leave you? I'm like sure, that's actually a
- 0:52good idea. I'm always searching for new
- 0:53video ideas and things like that.
- 0:55Typically I get them from my people, submit them, submit the
- 0:59questions or whatever in my support group or the members
- 1:02only part of it and we go from there.
- 1:04So a lot of times in toxic narcissistic relationships,
- 1:08sometimes narcissist will ghost you, right?
- 1:10Sometimes they'll go shoot, they'll dip out on you.
- 1:12They'll, you know, may just vanish into thin air, right?
- 1:17And there's no signs that they're about to do that in the
- 1:20morning time. Anybody's like, hey, babe, have
- 1:22a great day, see you later. And then you never hear from
- 1:25them, hear from them, hear from them again.
- 1:28It's like they disappear from the face of the earth, right?
- 1:31And then on the other side of things, there are narcissists
- 1:34that kind of give you signs and things like that, like signs and
- 1:37symptoms and in a different space and things like that.
- 1:41This is, and This is why I tell people, this is the biggest sign
- 1:44right here. This is the biggest indication
- 1:45that this can happen to you. Like they just become withdrawn
- 1:50in the relationship. There's one of them right there.
- 1:53Like they become withdrawn in the relationship.
- 1:57They just start to kind of check out of it.
- 1:59They start to devalue you and treat you differently.
- 2:02Like you can yell, you can feel it.
- 2:05Let's be real, you can feel it. You can feel the difference in
- 2:08behaviors like you can sometimes it's it's abrupt it's an abrupt
- 2:14stop in changing the behaviors right.
- 2:16Sometimes it's abrupt, not every single time, but sometimes it
- 2:19can be absolutely abrupt in how they were how they manage things
- 2:22and how they work through things right.
- 2:23They can do it like this because it helps them in the long run.
- 2:27Like the abruptness is like jumping off It's like y'all
- 2:31relationship, y'all in a happy relationship skipping hand in
- 2:34hand, right. Y'all skipping like we we're in
- 2:36love. This is the best relationship
- 2:38ever. Y'all skipping, skipping,
- 2:39skipping and then the relationship.
- 2:41Y'all fall off a Cliff. Like you take a, you take a fall
- 2:45down a chasm, a fall down a Cliff, right?
- 2:48And it happens. And then like the abruptly they
- 2:52stop telling you that they love you, they abruptly stop kissing
- 2:55you stop, stop giving you affection and things like that,
- 2:57abruptly change their behaviors and become super short tempered
- 3:01with you. You know, things that you used
- 3:03to tell a joke, a joke to them and you be like, Hey, babe, you
- 3:06remember this right here? And then they was just like,
- 3:09that's so stupid. Like nobody wants to hear that,
- 3:11that that ignorance. And you like, what the what the
- 3:14hell? What in the hell is going on
- 3:16here? Like they start doing that type
- 3:18of stuff right there to mess with you.
- 3:20And it does get into your mind. It does get into your head.
- 3:23Like you can feel it. You're like, OK, what's going
- 3:25on? And you think it's something to
- 3:26do with you. You think it's all you.
- 3:28So you, you start to try to change you and they still don't
- 3:31treat they, they still don't treat you any differently.
- 3:33They still don't alter or change their behaviors.
- 3:36They still don't do any of the type of stuff that you need them
- 3:38to do that you want them to do, right.
- 3:40They do a lot of this stuff to you.
- 3:43And they keep, they just keep messing with you.
- 3:45They keep messing around with you, they keep antagonizing you.
- 3:48They keep doing little things like this to they continuously
- 3:52drown you out and just to mess with your head.
- 3:53It happens time in and time again, time and time again.
- 3:56It really does. So This is why I got this is the
- 3:58thing I have to tell people are hearing these situations like
- 4:01you're dealing with them, like I'm not telling you to exit
- 4:04stage left when they start treating you differently, but
- 4:07start kind of getting things in in in order just in case.
- 4:12I mean, just in case that they're about to dip out on you,
- 4:14start getting things in order. Make sure you know the money if
- 4:17y'all, if you financially depend on this person, make sure you
- 4:19start getting the finances in order.
- 4:21What make sure you you can you can monitor the bank accounts.
- 4:24You have access to bank accounts and information like that money.
- 4:27Like if you find out if you're a stay at home parent and whatnot
- 4:30and they started to treat you differently like they bought the
- 4:33fade to black on you like about to leave the relationship.
- 4:36Make sure that you start getting your ducks in the row.
- 4:38Start getting things in order order start preparing just in
- 4:42case you don't want to be caught high and dry right?
- 4:44They serve you divorce papers out of nowhere.
- 4:46They filed for separation out of nowhere.
- 4:48You like what I'm going to do about money.
- 4:49You haven't worked in years. You've been staying home with
- 4:51the kids. What I'm going to do about
- 4:52money, You have to depend on them so you can't go no contact
- 4:55with them. You still have to depend on them
- 4:56and stay in contact with them and hopefully they still pay the
- 5:00bills. They still do do what they've
- 5:01been doing. Sometimes they don't.
- 5:03Sometimes they leave you high and dry and things like that.
- 5:05So start to prepare. If you start feeling that
- 5:07they're treating you differently, start to prepare.
- 5:09You know what I mean? Just so you only get caught a
- 5:11high and dry. Another sign y'all is that they
- 5:15sometimes they will tell you this isn't that.
- 5:18This is not even just a sign. They'll tell you that they're
- 5:21unhappy straight to your face. They'll tell you like things are
- 5:24different. Do you feel or have has anything
- 5:27changed? Do you feel like our
- 5:28relationship is is the same anymore?
- 5:29Do you feel like we've lost the spark?
- 5:31They'll talk about sparks and fire and flame and whatever it
- 5:35is, they'll start asking you this type of stuff like you just
- 5:38like what? And you'll be like, what the
- 5:39heck, sparks and flames like what in the hell is going on
- 5:42here? What is the situation?
- 5:44What's how is the situation arisen?
- 5:46Like what is the dynamic? What is the, you know, what are
- 5:48the, the word platitudes? Platitudes work here?
- 5:51Or doesn't it answer the question, does platitudes work
- 5:54here? What are the platitudes?
- 5:55It probably doesn't sound ignorant.
- 5:57I'm trying to use big words that sound ignorant.
- 5:58I know. But this is what happens, y'all.
- 6:03So they sometimes will tell you straight up and then if they
- 6:06tell you this type of stuff, your heart will drop.
- 6:08Your heart will stick into your stomach.
- 6:09Again, I'm not telling you to leave the relationship, but
- 6:12start preparing, you know, start preparing just in case.
- 6:16What? What in preparation looks
- 6:18different for everybody. I'm not telling you go find a
- 6:20new partner. I'm telling you to just maybe
- 6:22find, you know, just get things in order.
- 6:24You know, get your affairs in order because that's what
- 6:26happens too. That's the next sign.
- 6:28Affairs. They're having an open affair.
- 6:31You know they're having an affair.
- 6:32You find out about it, They tell you, they tell you.
- 6:34Some of you know, some narcissists are bold as hell and
- 6:37think that they can talk to you and treat you any type of way.
- 6:39Some of them will tell you that they're not going to stop having
- 6:41this affair. Some of them will tell you
- 6:43straight to your damn faces, I'm not going to leave them alone.
- 6:46I'm still going to talk to this person.
- 6:48You can do what you want to do. And they don't think you're
- 6:50going to leave them. They think that you're going to
- 6:52sit right there and tolerate it. And have I talked to a lot of
- 6:54people who do stay? Yes, I do because it's sometimes
- 6:58it, this can come from an abrupt place.
- 7:01You find out about the affair. They start coming home late at
- 7:03night, which is the typically a sign of affair or a sign of
- 7:06unhappiness, at least a minimum is it if they start coming home
- 7:09later at night and not and turning off their locations and
- 7:12things like that, this is at minimum a sign of unhappiness
- 7:15and unease and unrest in the relationship with them, with
- 7:18them at least. But most times they're out here
- 7:21cheating and don't want you to tell, don't want to tell you
- 7:23what they're actually doing, right?
- 7:26Am I right? Am I right?
- 7:27Yes. So they actually will tell you
- 7:30that they're having an affair sometimes.
- 7:31And sometimes you'll find out about it on your own and they
- 7:33expect you to sit there and take it.
- 7:36And you don't have to, y'all. You don't have to sit there and
- 7:39take it. You don't believe what?
- 7:42You don't have to sit there and take it, y'all.
- 7:43You really don't. It is not me trying to chastise
- 7:46you or hurt your feelings or anything like that.
- 7:47I want you to understand that you don't have to sit right
- 7:49there and take these behaviors, but plan you act, you know, use
- 7:54discretion and act accordingly. Sometimes you have to make a
- 7:56plan. Sometimes you your plan takes a
- 7:57while to develop. That's OK as long as you have it
- 8:00planned. Because sometimes, like even if
- 8:02you can't leave right now and they tell you that they're
- 8:05having an affair and they're coming home late at night and
- 8:07just thinking smell like smell like a used rubber or whatever
- 8:10it is and they just get it made with you, not snuggle up with
- 8:13you. Come on y'all.
- 8:14That's so disgusting when people, some narcissists will
- 8:17sleep with their affair partner, come home and try to sleep with
- 8:19you and you knowing it and so not it's just be it's just a
- 8:23disgusting mindset y'all. And they in this situation, they
- 8:27are feeling like they are winning.
- 8:29They feel like they get it all their needs man.
- 8:30And they think you're going to stay there, especially if you
- 8:33have kids. Especially if you have kids,
- 8:35right? They'll tell you.
- 8:37They'll just like, oh, you can break the family up for this.
- 8:39Wow, you going to be selfish as hell.
- 8:41Wow, you going to be selfish and break the family up just because
- 8:44I had one little affair and I slept with this.
- 8:47I slept with my one affair partner 100 times.
- 8:50Wow. Wow.
- 8:51How? Look at you.
- 8:52You just family ruiner. And guess what happens?
- 8:56They end up leaving you for this other person.
- 8:59Yeah, some of these situations, like, I don't know, everybody's
- 9:01situation is going to be different.
- 9:02But some of these situations just, it is everybody's
- 9:05situation is horrible to be a part of.
- 9:07But I did a video very recently. Some of them are worse than
- 9:10others. Some of these people, y'all are
- 9:11financially abusing the hell out of you.
- 9:12You have no other. They move you across the country
- 9:15or out of the country. You have no other resources.
- 9:17You have to depend on them. And they're having this open
- 9:19affair and daring you, daring you to say something or do
- 9:22something about it, daring you, knowing it, knowing that it'd be
- 9:25very difficult for you. And sometimes over this, the
- 9:28course of this toxic relationship, you've lost your
- 9:30friends and family. You don't talk to them anymore.
- 9:32You've been so super isolated because the the toxicity has
- 9:36isolated you from your friends and family.
- 9:38Now this is a part of you. So I want y'all to win y'all.
- 9:40I really do want y'all to win at all costs.
- 9:42This is me telling you to win at all costs in these situations,
- 9:45in these, in these spaces. Because if you don't, that
- 9:48narcissistic person is just going to keep doing this type of
- 9:50stuff over and over again because they feel like they're
- 9:53allowed to do it. You know, they feel like they're
- 9:56allowed to do this type of stuff.
- 9:58Baby steps in the right direction.
- 10:00This is what happens to so many people in these relationship
- 10:02dynamics. They feel like they have you
- 10:03trapped. They feel like they have you
- 10:06bent over a barrel, so to speak. But that's what I'm saying, like
- 10:09these are just a few signs that they're going to leave.
- 10:11They're more, what sign did you experience that your partner was
- 10:14going to leave? Again, dismissiveness,
- 10:16avoidance, withdrawing, affection.
- 10:18They stop sleep, y'all. They stop.
- 10:20They stop sleeping with you, they stop sleeping together,
- 10:22they start sleeping on the couch.
- 10:23They do things like that. They just start disconnecting
- 10:26from you. You get on there like you get on
- 10:27their computer after they got off of it.
- 10:29They're Googling divorce lawyers or doing apartment searches or
- 10:32house searches and things like they're trying to find a place
- 10:34to rent. These are signs.
- 10:37These are signs and some of these signs they in some of
- 10:41these signs they absolutely want you to see because they want you
- 10:45to feel like you have no choice but to take these toxic
- 10:48narcissistic gas behaviors. They want you to feel like this
- 10:51is this is how things are going to go.
- 10:53They want you to feel this way again, you are like they want
- 10:57you to feel like you don't have any kind of say so or position
- 10:59of power. So they're going to say tick,
- 11:00tick. If you watch these videos and
- 11:02any of this stuff resonated with you or any of the comments
- 11:05resonated with you and whatnot, it like drop it.
- 11:09Like I said, just start the plan y'all start the plan again.
- 11:12Y'all follow my other YouTube channel.
- 11:15It's called Lee dot actions. It's Lee Lee actions, Lee dot
- 11:19actions that way, like I said, I have.
- 11:21I do my reaction videos, my text and message breakdowns and my
- 11:24story story time over there as well.
- 11:27So make sure you subscribe to this channel as well.
- 11:29Mental illness is out. Peace.
- 11:31Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:33I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
- 11:36If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 11:38to the channel. Helps reach more people and
- 11:40click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
- 11:42through another playlist. There's also a link on the
- 11:44screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
- 11:46you heal and understand what you've been through.
- 11:48Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
- 11:50video. Peace.