Latest / The Diva Details / Different Races, Religions, Cultures, and Politics: How to make Love Work.

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Different Races, Religions, Cultures, and Politics: How to make Love Work. · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva D-Town. Welcome to the Diva D-Town.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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No filters, no limits. Just fearless conversations to help you thrive.
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Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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Well, hello, Diva Cat. How are you today? I'm good. How are you?
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I am doing wonderful. It's kind of weird out there right now. Oh.
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I think the world's changing and moving along, but I think sometimes people
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are kind of racist and... I don't know. I still see a lot of hatred towards different religions.
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I feel like everybody just needs to take a chill pill.
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I think so, too. The whole thing that went on with Israel, I think,
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caused a lot of problems. and there's some anti-Semitism going on.
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Is there really? There is. And I just, it amazes me that in this day and age,
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there's still so much anti-Semitism.
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I never, I haven't been out there yet.
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Well. I just, let me just say, I haven't been to the church and I don't go to the church.
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So I really can't say much about that. Yeah.
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So I know that you're in an interracial marriage.
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Right. So has that caused any problems for you? No. No? Both sides of the family
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are very chill. Both sides of the family are very chill.
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I think people make a bigger deal out of different races and different religions than they should.
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I think everybody should just get along. That's my personal belief. Me too.
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People are people. They don't look at just a, I don't know. It's just kind of crazy right now.
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So I just like, yeah, the whole weekend I turn off TV, clean up my house.
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Yeah, yeah. Clean up the music.
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That's pretty much it. Yeah, I think that the whole thing in Israel brought
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things to a head. But there's even differences when people marry and they're
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catholic and they're you know mormon. I mean there's
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differences when people marry and they're Catholic and they're Jewish.
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It's such a challenge, religion. And heck, there's even differences when people
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marry and they're Democrat and Republican.
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There's so much of a juggle in order to make things work. So you're not going
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to church now. Do you think that helps?
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Do you think that you would go to the same church if you were?
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I never go to the church. I'm Buddhist. I go to temple.
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And I only go to one temple.
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And we go to the temple. That's all we pray to be good to others.
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We don't bring up other whatever.
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Right. So you go there, you meditate, you know, we bring potluck,
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we had lunch, and we come home.
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Does your husband ever go with you? My husband go with me, yeah. My kids go too.
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Yeah. And then, you remember my husband Muslim? Yeah. Yeah, but we pretty much
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here. And my husband family is very mixed.
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Mixed religions? Mm-hmm. Okay. So do you go to his temple? Yeah.
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With him too? Yeah. So you just both go? Yeah. We both go to both sides.
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So what was your child type of baptized?
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No, I raised my son as a Muslim. As a Muslim. Okay. And he enjoys that. Yeah. Okay. Wonderful.
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So, and there was never any conflict on religion with you inside your family? No.
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Well, that makes it easier. Yeah. I think that belief in interreligion and interrelationships,
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people are getting a little bit more relaxed, but then there's the extremes
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that go kind of crazy with it. Yeah, they do.
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You have to have empathy with it, respect, and give each other grace with it.
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And if you can, if you're kind of a chill person, it works.
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If you're extreme, it's just not going to work. Yeah.
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Our family is pretty mixed. I have an uncle who owns his church.
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I have a brother who's a deacon.
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Really? Yeah, my stepbrother is a deacon. So you have people that are related
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in the religion that are pretty deep in it, and you're still pretty chill. Yeah. Okay.
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I think it's different. People blame on religions. I think it's the person.
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It's definitely, yeah. It's definitely the person.
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Different people can have different belief systems, and I think it's how ingrained
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your belief system is. If you turn religion into a core value that no one else
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can believe different than you, that's when we run into problems. Right. Right.
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So let's just stick on the religion for a while.
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I think that religion, because it's evolved over time, I think that people are
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starting to be more accepting of people in other religions.
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And I think it's different between religions, too.
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It would probably be harder to have a Jew and a Muslim together.
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My husband and uncle married the Jews. Did they? And it was never any conflict or was there conflict?
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I don't know. They live in France, but every time we go over there,
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we family get together. I don't think any conflicts, anything like that.
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No, all the families still get together.
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So really, it's just the fringe extremists that are causing most of the problems,
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like everything, like in politics.
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Right. The people on the fringe that are not in the middle, that are not accepting
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and empathetic towards other people are the ones that are leading to all the
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problems and issues and violence. Yeah.
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No, we don't believe in. Do you think that going forward, do you think your
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son will have any issues marrying into religiously?
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I don't think so. Because you raised him that way. I raised him very freely.
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Even though he was born, we raised him as a Muslim.
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But in the future, if he's involved with something else, then we'll be okay
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with it too as long as he did good. Were your parents okay with it?
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Yeah, no problems there.
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That's great. So sometimes there's stereotypes too that keep people apart.
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When you met him, I remember you said you asked him if he was a terrorist.
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Yeah. And it was because he was Muslim and it was right after 9-11.
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So do you think sometimes stereotypes keep people apart as well?
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It depends on the person.
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Yeah. I don't see his go away.
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Yeah. You look at that as a joke. Yeah. Yeah. It is still a joke. Yeah.
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That is awesome. I think over generations, I think people are becoming more
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accepting of others as well.
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Yeah. I think it's very, even, I don't know, even with some family,
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very, very traditional religious.
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Heck, even the same religions between two churches, they still don't get along.
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Yeah. I mean, so I think it's a person that people blame on religion that just made it up, I think.
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If you had chosen to raise your son as a Buddhist, would your husband have been okay with it?
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So it's all about communication and openness and respect, I believe.
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Right. I think the social pressures are a little bit there, too.
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I think overall, if you can eliminate any social pressures between friends,
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family, and everything else, it's the outside forces that matter,
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I think, more than the internal forces when you're both chill like that. Right, yeah.
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We actually have a very good friend of ours. They are very Hindu,
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and their son grew up Hindu, real vegetarian, and stuff. But then when he goes
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off to college, he met this girl who's very, very Christian.
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He goes to church with nurses and stuff. Now he's baptized to be Christian.
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And they were okay with it. There's things you can do if there's conflict.
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If you have issues in the family, you can go to coaches, you can go to therapists.
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I just think people should not use religion or politics to break apart your
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friendship between family and friend.
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Yes. I don't really care what a person's religion is.
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I'm friends with all different types of religious people. I'm not friends with
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any extremists, though, so I don't know.
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Yeah, that's what I'm saying. None of us is very extreme, so we don't know.
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Because everybody that we hang out with is very chill.
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Yeah. So we don't know that part of it.
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Yeah. I think if you can create harmony in your family and that your family's not so big of a deal.
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But when there's family, the family's probably the number one.
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I don't think you're going to see a lot in friends, but I think family number
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one is going to be the one that's the most challenging to handle when there's difficulties.
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Well, I have a stepbrother who's deacon, and when family gather together,
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he do his blessings, sister, we accepted him as a blessing, and when we do,
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he's very chill. Yeah. Yeah, so.
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I think that you can encourage friends and family to seek help,
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too, if there's problems.
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Mm-hmm. I think that when it comes to religion, religion is,
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it's so ingrained in some people that they don't look past it.
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Mm-hmm. But because that's their upbringing, right? People are inundated with it at a young age.
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But I think as long as you can be open and honest.
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Now, I've even met friends who you tell them that you're, let's say you tell
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them you're Christian and you're not going to church very much.
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They like come at you. They're like, oh, you got to go to church.
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And then they start quoting scripture to you. And I think people need to realize
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that religion needs to be respected and not over pushed.
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Because for me, organized religion, I'm going to a different church now,
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but organized religion for me has been such a, it's been so overwhelming at
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times that it's pushed me away.
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So people need to realize that sometimes when you push too hard with people,
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you're going to push them away.
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So you go to a new church? Did you like it? Yeah, I'm switching churches.
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I was going to a church and the pastor got in trouble for some misdeeds that he'd done in his past.
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And so I ended up switching churches because I just couldn't go to a church.
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I couldn't support a church that hid. They hid it.
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He didn't come clean. They hid it until it came out. And that to me was,
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it was a double deception.
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He didn't get caught. Yeah, I was like, I got cheated on by my church.
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Yeah, no cheating. Yeah, it's like the church cheated and then lied about it
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and then cheated again because they lied about it.
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When people don't have good morals and ethics, I can't support it.
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So when they were deceptive about it, it made me leave the church.
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Because that's the principles and virtues they're supposed to be teaching.
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I'm supposed to be teaching my children, too, right?
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So if a church, this is the whole thing with the Catholic Church, too, I think.
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When they hid all the stuff that the priests were doing, it turned people away
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from the Catholic Church.
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Because that deception was lying. And you're supposed to be teaching virtue
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and morals and ethics. And then you go and you hide behind lies about what your
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priests were doing to little boys. That's scary.
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And little girls. It wasn't just little boys. But a lot of it was little boys.
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So, yeah, it was not good, if you will. Yeah. I watched one of the episodes.
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You know, I love the clown scenes. God, I forgot the name.
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New York, about the New York, about the Catholic Church, the big church in New
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York. I watched one of that episode.
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Well, you understand. I didn't know what that was happening.
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You know what I mean? I just thought it was a TV show.
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I'm not Catholic, but I go to a non-Dominational church. My kids were baptized
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Lutheran. And I'm not Catholic, but I, for sure, it turned my stomach.
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So I could never be Catholic after that.
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So I would never go down that route. Now, would I marry a Catholic?
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Maybe. Would I marry a devout Catholic that's extreme? Probably not.
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So religion does have an impact on that as well, like who I choose for a partner.
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It's very powerful. Look at the history. It's been around thousands and thousands
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of years before. Well, and honestly, the Methodist and Lutheran and a lot of
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Christianity is a spinoff from the Catholic Church anyway.
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It's been around, and it is a core function of...
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Other religions, too. And other religions have taken from it and et cetera.
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So it's definitely there.
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It's a strong religion. Don't get me wrong. It just turned my stomach.
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And I'm not into religion enough to overlook the problems.
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I look at everything from an objective outside standpoint. So when that happened
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at the church I was going to, it just reminded me of the Catholic church and
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the church turns my stomach.
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When I found out, I literally left the same day for my church and never went back.
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There was actually protesters outside. I hadn't even heard. Oh, wow.
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And what was going on. And it was the first day I went to church and I found
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out and the way they handled it.
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When I found out, I walked out in the middle of the service.
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I was so upset. I walked out because you could tell that they were lying.
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And I'm very good at being, I'm an empath, right?
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So I'm very good at reading people
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and feeling their vibe. It was just so uncomfortable. I was That's a lie.
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That's a lie. I can tell your body language is showing it's a lie.
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Wow. So I'm out of here. So I left and we never went back. So now I'm on the hunt for a new church.
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You just have to go to a different church every weekend. That's what I'm doing.
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This weekend, I think I'm going to hit two churches. Not hit,
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but, you know, by two churches.
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The church I went to last weekend, my kids liked it and enjoyed it because it's
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also it's not just important for me.
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It's also important for my children to enjoy the church, too,
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because it matters to them.
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The whole point for me of a church is not just to understand religion and understand
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Jesus and believe. It's also to create strong morals, ethics, and values in children.
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And parents, as parents, we can preach to our kids so much.
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But when they hear it from a pastor or from other friends, it's the social experience
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where they actually learn morals, ethics, and values, I think.
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It's something that has to be ingrained in a personality when you're young.
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Now, yes, you can, as an adult, learn morals, values, and ethics.
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But if you don't really get it when you're young, then there's a problem.
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And if you don't get it when you're young, you're not going to have it as you
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go on longer in life. And my ex was a Catholic.
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So my ex went to a Catholic school, even.
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And he didn't get it. I grew up going to Catholic school.
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Yeah. So Catholic schools don't necessarily teach you morals,
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values, and ethics, although I know you're a very moral and ethic person.
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But a lot of times Catholic schools don't teach you that.
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You know, you need to learn it, but you need to find a church that's really strong in it. Right.
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Yeah, I was born in as a Buddhist because of the whole family, right?
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Right. But then back home, for you to go to get a good education,
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you have to go to a private school.
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Yeah. And the only private school either run by the Catholic Church or the,
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you know, the Christian Church.
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So back then, I don't know, they were, they have Notre Dame.
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So I actually went to school in Notre Dame. That's nice.
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So you went to, you were taught by nuns. Yeah. That's interesting.
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Real all-girls school. Were they hard on you?
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Yes. They were? Yes. Did they have the ruler? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
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They have the ruler. Actually, I'm lefty. Look, it's still left mark on my hand.
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Oh, my God. Switching. Every time they turn around me, I keep switching to my
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left hand. This is how hothead I am. And I'm still lefty.
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See, if you don't know, a lot of times the thing about the Catholic Church is
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that they had nuns that were kind of violent to children.
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They would take the ruler and smack it across their hands, across the back of
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their neck, or smack them in the butt.
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Capital punishment was allowed back then. Yeah, and you know me,
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the skirt was too short, too long.
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In sewing class, the skirt was too long. And he liked the way he looked,
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I sewed it out, and it got smacked right in my leg. Oh, wow. My skirt was too short.
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Wow. Yeah. Even though you were with all girls, your skirt was still short, too short.
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Did you live on campus or did you just... Yeah, we live on the campus.
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We go home on Saturday, Sunday.
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Wow. Yeah, we did that for... Because my friend was out of country a lot.
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So we did that for two years. Yeah.
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Me and my sister. Do you think they taught you morals, values, and ethics?
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I think they taught moral values. Actually, though, when we taught...
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And economic-wise, it's really good.
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Because when I got out from that school, when I was placing in public school,
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I'm actually skipped two grades.
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So it was a good education. A very good education.
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Even though you got smacked with a ruler. Yeah. I guess nobody acted up. No, nobody.
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Nobody, no. And if you follow, you don't follow, they really, really.
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And I'm not truly believed in the violence, but I think some kid needs it.
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It kept everybody in line.
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Especially the kid like me. My sister was an angel.
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Yeah. My sister is a very chill follower. I don't. some like different part of the world. Huh. Wow.
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And they always put, so I was going to this all-girls school,
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right? Next door is all-boys school. Of course, going to be holes there.
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So they allowed you to come to Catholic school even though you weren't Catholic. Yeah.
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See, so that's the thing is you don't have to be Catholic. That in my country,
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though. I don't know. If they would allow that? Yeah.
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Well, I don't know. It's interesting how large the Catholic Church is, too. Yeah.
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Yeah. I would say that Catholics are kind of, some Catholics are kind of extreme
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as well. A lot of times they only look for other Catholics to marry.
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Yeah. On the dating apps, you can state what religion you are,
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too. Yes, I noticed that, too.
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Yeah, on the dating apps. So if you have a religion, you can say,
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I only want to date Christians, I only want to date Catholics,
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I only want to date Muslim or Buddhist or whatever it is. So you can specifically
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state the religion because for some people, it is the most important thing.
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Yeah, it is. So I'm actually in my yoga class. That's the ladies that her husband
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passed. You're only at that age.
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So she actually went on the Christian mingle. Christian mingle, yeah.
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Define a Christian. But she's in her 60s already.
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Yeah. And they found each other. On Christian mingle, yeah. And ironically,
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they're in the same yoga class together.
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It's funny. I've heard good things about Christian Mingle that people enjoy.
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She's really, you know, one of my good friend's sisters. She's getting married this Thursday.
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From Christian Mingle? Well, there you are. There's a plug for Christian Mingle dating now.
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They're older though. They're in their 60s. Christian Mingle is for older people,
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I think. I think Christian Mingle is not a lot of young people,
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at least what I've seen. I don't know. Yeah.
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It's for people that have probably been divorced once. It's more of a Christian
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Mingle group. I don't know. They might have a good young following,
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but I've seen a lot of older people on it.
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Yeah. So, yeah, she enjoy each other and they enjoy each other.
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They come to yoga class together and they're both riddled, you know.
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Yeah. She lost his wife and she lost her husband. Yeah. Yeah.
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And then my friend's sister also, she can't marry this, does that. Yeah, that's great.
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So you can do different dating apps for different religions,
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too. And then you can select your religion.
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I think that I know a lot of Jewish people only date Jewish people.
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And they even have names for women that aren't Jewish that date and marry.
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And then some Catholics will only date Catholics.
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So some religions are more prone to date the same religion. Yeah.
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Even Muslim. I mean, I'm amazed that Muslims, Muslims usually date other Muslims.
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Yeah. So, but you're Buddhist and you married a Muslim.
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Yeah. So it doesn't matter as long as you're happy and content and comfortable
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in the religion. It doesn't matter. Yeah.
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Now let's talk a little bit about interracial. Interracial can be a challenge
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too, but I think over time, interracial has become more socially acceptable.
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I mean, personally, I love interracial babies. The Milano babies,
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the ones that are white and black that are tan.
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I'm like, your baby, and they usually have dark skin and blue eyes or something.
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And it's amazing. You should have seen my son.
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Yes. Yeah. Yeah, her son's beautiful, too.
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Interracial babies are gorgeous. They're very good-looking.
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And not always. Not always. I mean, there have been, I'm not saying every interracial
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baby is beautiful, but most of them are.
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And they're nice-looking. They have nice features.
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Their face is in their hair. Sometimes they have curly hair, but lighter skin.
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It's interesting to have interracial babies. From a genetic standpoint,
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it's better to breed, if you will, from interracial, because you get the best of both breeds.
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I think so, too. Yeah. You don't want to inbreed kid. Like, you know how they did with the dog.
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Yeah. When you inbreed dog, they have a lot of defects. Well, a lot of times in.
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Previously in monarchs, they used to inbreed and they'd have birth defects from inbreeding.
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Right, for the royal family. Yes, and if you find a village,
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they've had village studies where there was villages that only inbred within that village.
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So you might be breeding with a cousin or something.
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And they have genetic abnormalities with that.
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So the way genetics works just from a high level is when two genes come together,
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it's kind of like survival of the fittest of the best gene.
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So whichever gene is the dominant or the prevalent or strongest,
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which is usually the better gene, wins.
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So then your genes merge and the best gene on that level wins for that specific thing.
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The problem is there's no dominant gene.
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So whichever gene wins can be a bad gene. And so therefore you get inbreeding,
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you get abnormalities and things like that.
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It's actually really good to inbreed. And people, the difference,
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I think, is people have difficulties with culturals in breeding and with society.
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It's a little challenging. Or if there is a language barrier,
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like if somebody breeds with a Mexican person and most of the family doesn't speak Mexican.
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I know I was with a, I bred, if you will, with a Polish family.
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And the mother spoke Polish, but the stepfather didn't.
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So it was a challenge. And most of the time they would speak Polish in front
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of me, which I find disrespectful, too. But it's like they would talk behind
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my back right to my face and I didn't speak Polish. So it was a thing.
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Oh, wow. There's differences when you're in a family that's interracial,
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interbreeding, etc., when there's different languages involved, too.
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Mm-hmm. Well, nowadays, you have Google Translate. You have Google Translate,
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and now you can also—oh, here's the trick.
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You can get earbuds that you stick in your ears so that when somebody's talking
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that you can listen to what they're saying. It'll translate right on the fly.
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It's like an AI earbud, and you don't even have to tell them.
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If they're talking about you, you just stick them in, and you'll know what they're
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saying about you. That'd be interesting. Oh, yeah, they just called you a bitch. Yeah.
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You don't even know. So, yeah, so be careful. I mean, be careful what you say
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now with all the AI and the translation.
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You can find out what your family is saying or your family is saying about you.
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I used to. I grew up in a lot of languages around me. Yeah. How many languages do you speak?
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I speak three fluently, but the other languages I pick up here and there.
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Because I know the Arabic, I start picking up because when they're talking.
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Yeah. So I had the ears for the language. Yeah.
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So you're not just interracial or interreligion. You're interracial, too.
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Yeah, I mix a lot, yeah. Yeah, but did you guys do anything different because of your backgrounds?
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No. No, for like your wedding? I did two. No. No?
22:00
It was just a standard wedding? It was just a standard wedding,
22:03
but I did my—well, I had three weddings.
22:06
You had three weddings. Okay, so you did do something different.
22:08
I did do the—yeah. So we do the Muslim in a mosque. It's kind of like side of contact.
22:13
That's the first one. And the second one, I did my Buddhist ceremony.
22:17
And the last one, it's just the tradition. Traditional American wedding.
22:21
So you did do something different. Yeah. So a lot of people,
22:25
when it's interracial and interreligion, they'll have multiple ceremonies for your wedding.
22:30
I love it. Get to wear a lot of outfits. A lot of different dresses.
22:34
How many receptions did you have, like parties after? I do just one.
22:37
Just one. Yeah. So you had three different weddings, one party. Yeah.
22:41
Well, that's nice. So you have to understand that there's going to be differences
22:44
between, especially with marriages, when you have big events like that.
22:48
And then there's family events, and you're kind of double-teaming it with family events, right?
22:52
Because you're going to get a lot of holidays, holidays in both religions.
22:55
If you're Muslim, you're going to get certain holidays. If you're Catholic,
22:58
you're going to have others. If you're Jewish, you're going to have others.
23:00
So you're going to have multiple holidays to handle.
23:03
My family, we celebrate everything. My sister is actually very Catholic.
23:06
You just want to party all day. So my third sister married to a Catholic.
23:12
She married to a Catholic church, and all her kids raised us Catholic.
23:15
Yeah. Yeah. And then my brother, the only one that married two Buddhists,
23:20
so they have the same thing at home.
23:22
And I married a Muslim, so we're going to celebrate everything.
23:24
Oh, that's great. And my mom Vietnamese. We celebrate Vietnamese New Year, too.
23:28
So every day is a party. Every day is a party. Every day is a party,
23:31
guys. So if you marry multi-religion or multicultural even sometimes, it might be a party.
23:35
Yeah. So different cultures will have different views, too. So during the holidays,
23:40
you might cook different dishes for different cultures.
23:43
Right. I know there's a Polish tradition that we do every year for when my ex
23:47
was around, when I was...
23:49
Still married that we did. And then like Christmas Eve, it's fish. It's not any meat.
23:54
So like there's different things you have to learn as well. The Catholic, they eat seven fishes.
23:59
Wow. Yeah, that's what it was. It was the, yeah, exactly. Because they were Catholic.
24:03
I know that because of my sister. So then you have to understand,
24:06
are you going to learn the language when it's multiple, you know, multicultural as well.
24:10
So interracial may also require you to learn another language.
24:13
Yeah. I guess I could have, I just never did. I learned some.
24:16
When I went to Poland, I learned some, and I spoke a little bit,
24:20
but I didn't learn a lot. I think it's so cool to know a lot of languages.
24:23
Let me tell you, when we go overseas, we meet all the cousins.
24:27
We feel like, wow, my kid only knows two languages, which is very bad.
24:32
All the kids there, they speak at least three, sometimes four languages.
24:37
That's a Europe thing, though. That's because they stop them at such a young
24:40
age. And then it trains them.
24:42
When you start learning a language at a young age, it trains the brain.
24:45
Right, your brain trains to do that. Yeah, I think we start too late here.
24:49
A lot of times kids don't get another language until junior high or high school.
24:52
And if at that age, kids are just like, I don't want to learn anything else.
24:55
Well, my son, when they were young, they want me to, when we go to school,
24:59
they just want to strictly speak English only. I said, no, I'm going to speak
25:03
my language to him. At least he'll know. Yeah.
25:06
You know? Yeah. So he's like a little confused when growing up.
25:09
It's a little confusing, but at the same time, it actually expands their mind.
25:13
Right. At least when he hears it, he understands.
25:15
He won't speak it. I really feel like it makes them a little smarter,
25:18
too. Yeah, I don't know. You're confused. You're a little confused.
25:21
Well, and then the question is, how do you approach family members and parents?
25:26
They all speak English. Well, were your parents okay with the multiracial,
25:30
multireligion? They were. So some families won't be.
25:34
So you got to be careful. You got to tiptoe around it, even when you're dating
25:37
someone with different races, because it can be a primary thing for family and
25:42
for friends. My best friend dating this guy, his family doesn't know about him for two years. Wow.
25:49
So he wanted to make sure it was definitely serious before he took the risk with his family.
25:53
So maybe that's what you do as well, is maybe you wait a little bit on introducing to family.
25:58
Let's say you've been dating somebody for a year, maybe even two,
26:01
you still haven't introduced them because you're afraid your family is going to try to break you up.
26:05
Yeah, his family doesn't know about her for two years. Well,
26:09
that's a real possibility.
26:11
They may rank you up, which is if that happens, you know, you're going to have
26:15
to either cut ties with them or have a serious sit down and maybe make some
26:21
major boundaries around them.
26:22
Yeah, I think she did. That's why he proposed. They've been married for 20 years
26:26
now. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So it happens.
26:28
Well, here's the thing. A lot of families, especially when they're older,
26:31
they have stereotypes in their minds, too, about people.
26:34
So maybe once they get to know the person, they'll love them as much as you
26:37
do, but it's going to be a challenge.
26:39
Yeah, I've seen the movie. Especially, you're going to marry to the big,
26:42
old-fashioned Italian family. Forget it. Yeah.
26:45
Well, you have to realize, I mean, isn't that My Big Fat Greek Wedding,
26:49
that whole movie series? Yeah, I remember that whole movie thing.
26:51
Yeah. Yeah, was because of marrying into a wedding. So you've got to have open dialogue.
26:56
You're going to have to be able to bend. That's happened for real,
26:58
everything we see in the movie. Well, I think it's happened for you,
27:00
too. I think you've been able to bend.
27:02
Yeah. And you've had to bend and be flexible.
27:05
So because you're flexible with different cultures and different beliefs,
27:09
you've been able to merge right into the two.
27:12
But if you're not flexible and you're very set in your ways,
27:15
it's probably not a good idea to go multiracial or multireligion.
27:19
Family. Or interracial or interreligion. Family and religion is very important.
27:23
Family is huge. Don't bend it, forget it. Especially with me.
27:26
My family comes first. But if your family told you you couldn't marry a Muslim,
27:30
would you have not? I'm still going to marry a Muslim anyway. You still would have.
27:33
You would have just set up boundaries. Right. I would not. Yeah.
27:37
That cross, no. I think it's all about communication and discussions and.
27:41
And if you have a very strict family, you may cut ties.
27:44
So I guess it depends on how much you love the other person.
27:47
You may even have to cut ties with friends.
27:49
It goes back to values, morals, and ethics, and your values,
27:52
morals, and ethics, too.
27:53
I'm not a friend that right now they don't speak to each other because of religions
27:57
and politics. And they've been friends in, like, kindergarten.
28:00
Politics is a whole other beast, right? So lately, politics has turned families
28:06
against families. Yeah.
28:08
And I don't like that. I will say that I kind of lost my family based on politics.
28:14
So for years, I didn't speak to a lot of my family because they didn't like
28:17
it because I was more conservative and they were more liberal.
28:20
And I'm very moderate. I'm very middle of the road. But it was a thing.
28:25
And I grew up liberal, so don't get me wrong. But over time,
28:28
I changed like a lot of people do.
28:30
They grow more conservative over time. And, yeah, it was a big thing because,
28:35
you know, mine were all academics. and the academics didn't,
28:38
the extended family academics, they didn't like the fact that I was conservative.
28:42
And I will say, I've seen more liberals not like conservatives than I've seen
28:47
conservatives not like liberals.
28:48
I just think it's really sad. It is. I have a lot of liberal friends.
28:52
I do. I have a lot of liberal friends. I don't really care what people's politics
28:55
are. We just don't talk politics. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
28:58
So, you know, whatever you believe, but then between friends,
29:01
they said this, between gathering, they said no politics, no religion talk.
29:04
Well, I don't really care if people talk religion, but for politics,
29:07
I think it's worse than religion now. I know.
29:09
Because people will talk religion and faith and things like that,
29:12
and they all not go head to head.
29:14
If you put two extreme people talking politics, and man, it's like going to end up with fights.
29:19
Our neighborhood used to be very likely, but lately, I don't know what happened.
29:22
Yeah. The politics can really weigh on people.
29:25
They've turned politics into a religion is the problem.
29:29
And when people are different political party, sometimes it doesn't match.
29:32
I think more because there are certain values that come about with a political party.
29:37
And different ethics and morals. And I think politics shows that.
29:42
So sometimes people don't get along because of the morals, values,
29:45
and ethics, not necessarily the politics of everything.
29:48
But you have to learn to respectfully disagree in things when you're dating like this.
29:52
I think so. You're going to be raised two different ways. You may have two different
29:55
political parties. You've got to be able to respectfully disagree with each other.
29:59
And then I think you also have to have your shared rituals. Now,
30:02
I know you like to go sit out and look at the stars.
30:04
Yeah. I love. but you've got to honor both backgrounds in both religions.
30:09
Now, during the holidays, which do you follow?
30:11
We follow both. You follow both? Yeah, we celebrate both. So that's a challenge too?
30:16
No, I don't think so. Well, it's double work. Because he's a religion that I
30:21
don't have to work as much. No.
30:23
That's because he does it all, isn't it? Yeah.
30:25
So he makes sure both religions get followed. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a challenge for him. Mm-hmm.
30:32
Yeah. I don't think so. No? He just enjoys doing it? Mm-hmm.
30:36
Well, if you enjoy doing it, enjoy having two things, but you're always going
30:39
to be doing double the work.
30:40
Yeah. It is double the work versus having one religion. It creates a little
30:43
bit of a challenge, and it depends on how far you take it, too.
30:46
Some people are probably really far and extreme on religious things,
30:49
and other people are just, let's just do the basics.
30:51
Yeah. We do pretty much just the basics.
30:53
That helps. So how do you cope when people are judging you from the outside?
30:57
What do you mean? Well, sometimes people make judgment calls.
31:00
Celebrate two religions. Yeah.
31:02
So when you're celebrating two listeners, sometimes you just run into issues
31:05
and sometimes you will have to just do multiple things.
31:08
Yeah. I don't mind. You don't mind? I love it. What do you guys identify as
31:14
when it comes to religion?
31:16
Muslim. You both do? Yeah. So you follow that more than Buddhist?
31:20
Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, do you hang out in a community of Muslim people or is it just interracial?
31:26
And teaching kids, you've gone Muslim with that route? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
31:30
So I think that's the big part when you get married and you have children is
31:33
to determine which religion the children are going to be.
31:35
I think that's probably the biggest sticking point for people is to make sure
31:38
that the kids are following one religion or another.
31:42
Yeah. Now, are you both of the same political party?
31:45
Mm-hmm. So that helps too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you don't have that conflict.
31:50
Honestly, I think that conflict would be worse than the inner religion,
31:53
especially lately with the hatred of different political parties.
31:56
I want to say to everybody, can't we all just get along? Because the reality
31:59
is, is we're all pretty much the same.
32:01
I mean, everybody acts like political parties are so different,
32:04
but we're all Americans, right? So let's all just get along.
32:08
You never had to have any coaches or therapists or anything to help you through
32:11
it. You guys just had harmony right off the bat, right? No, yeah. Well, that's nice.
32:16
I think if we can evolve as a society into just loving each other for our differences
32:21
as well as our similarities, I think that's important. On the dating apps,
32:26
some of the dating apps do have political affiliation.
32:28
So sometimes you can say conservative or liberal or progressive. So you can write...
32:34
Something like that in. A lot of people will, it's gotten kind of violent.
32:38
Some people say no mega supporters. I've seen that on the dating apps.
32:42
And then I've seen no libtards or no liberals on the dating apps.
32:47
So there's just different belief systems.
32:49
And so people won't even date people of a different political party right now.
32:54
I've never seen anyone say no blacks or no whites or no Hispanic. Never seen that.
32:59
People are more willing to date interracially now than different ideologies.
33:04
Wow. Because politics is just an ideology. It's just a belief system.
33:08
So people are willing to date you no matter what your skin color is,
33:11
but they won't date you if you have a different political party.
33:14
Oh, wow. That's sad. I know. It's different. And I don't really care.
33:18
Although I think if I was going to marry someone, I would want to marry someone kind of moderate.
33:21
I definitely couldn't do an extreme on either side. I'm not extreme.
33:26
So extreme would probably not work for me because I want to be accepting of
33:30
different races, cultures, etc.
33:32
And I think the extremes on both sides aren't very accepting.
33:35
The cancel culture comes from the extreme left, right?
33:39
So you can't even do that because they'll cancel if you don't believe the same way they do.
33:43
Your lifestyle is important too because your lifestyle is impacted by your religion,
33:47
your culture, and your political party. I think lifestyle is a big thing.
33:50
Yes. And so your lifestyle is, it flows though because you're interracial,
33:55
you're interreligion, and it flows together.
33:57
Yeah. We eat, we work out, we take vacation.
34:00
That's all I care. Eat, work out, and take vacation. That's the basics.
34:04
That takes a long way. So I had a monologue podcast about respect, attention.
34:10
Those are the basics and security for a relationship to exist.
34:14
Respect, attention, and security have to go both ways. But I think that respect,
34:17
attention, and security has to go with religion as well and culture and even political party.
34:22
If you're not respecting each other's religion, if you're not respecting each
34:26
other's culture, you're going to have a problem. So remember,
34:29
it's not just for men to respect women. It's also just in general in the relationship.
34:34
And then if you're not giving attention, if you're not giving attention to the
34:38
other side, whether it's their religion, their political party,
34:41
or their intercultural issues, you got to give attention and give them that
34:46
feeling that you're appreciating them. And then security.
34:50
Security would be to make sure that family and friends aren't attacking your
34:54
partner, that you're giving them safety, you're giving them security,
34:57
you're giving them emotional security so they feel safe in the space to practice
35:00
their religion, to practice their politics, and to be in their culture.
35:04
I mean, Rachel, we don't have that problem between our families.
35:07
Well, that's because you have those. You have respect, you have attention, and you have security.
35:11
Those are the things you need in any relationship. And you have that related to your relationship.
35:16
Politics you have that related to your religion and
35:19
your culture if you didn't have those three things it
35:22
would make a challenge for your relationship if he didn't respect you as a person
35:27
with your your buddhist religion it would be a problem yeah you know and if
35:31
you were different political parties and he didn't respect your politics that
35:34
could be a problem too yeah so it's more about the person than about the religion
35:39
it's more about the person than about the the political party.
35:43
So again, it goes back to finding the right mate, to finding the right person
35:47
that respects you, that gives you attention, that gives you security.
35:50
And if they do that in general, they should do that with your other areas as well.
35:54
I think in relationship, you both have to like the same thing and have to be
35:58
parallel together and support each other.
36:01
You don't have everything the same thing. We don't like everything the same
36:04
thing, but we support each other. You got to support it.
36:06
Yeah. You got to respect it. You got to give people the space to feel safe and
36:10
what they enjoy and what they love. So, yeah.
36:13
Yeah. Well, I think that's all I got, Kat. That's all I have, too.
36:17
All right. Well, we're going to sign off today. I hope this was an enlightening
36:21
podcast for you and that after now you can realize that it's okay to have a
36:26
different religion with your partner. It's okay to be a different political
36:29
party and it's okay to be a different culture.
36:31
It's okay to be different. Or interracial. Yes, it's okay.
36:35
We encourage you to reach out and try new things.
36:38
Yes, right. This is Diva Mia signing off. Signing off. Talk to you soon.
36:44
Thanks for tuning in. Like, subscribe, and drop a comment. We love hearing from you.
36:50
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