Latest / Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One, / Discernment in Christian Relationships

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Discernment in Christian Relationships · Kingdom Spouse Disappointment | Healing, Heartbreak, God Revealed Relationship, The One,

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  Have you ever wondered how to truly use discernment to help you when making
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  a decision, especially about a relationship?
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  Maybe that is you wanting to discern if someone is or isn't quote-unquote the one,
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  or to maybe discern if someone was or wasn't quote-unquote the one and you missed
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  it, or whatever the case might.
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  I've been there plenty of times trying to ensure that I am properly discerning the situation, right?
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  That I am using discernment, which is the ability to know instantaneously what
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  is the best and perfect decision to make, ensuring that it is void of error or mistakes.
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  Or that is what we sometimes portray discernment to be.
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  This supernatural ability to know exactly from the jump or from the start,
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  the history, the future, and the potential outcome of a situation or relationship.
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  Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but honestly, I think,
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  and I think many others as well might have had this idea of what discernment should be, right?
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  This ability to instantly know the outcome of a situation or to instantly make
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  the perfect decision without any error or mistakes.
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  So just stick around for this episode as today's episode is a part of a mini
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  three-part series where we,
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  touch on the topic of discernment where we explore a bit more on discernment,
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  and specifically in today's episode i'm gonna talk about what is biblical discernment,
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  common misconceptions about discernment as well as God's grace in it all.
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  So stick around till the end as I am so excited to share with you your truths
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  for the journey for this week.
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  Have you ever believed God showed you your future spouse only for the relationship
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  to end or never even begin?
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  You are not alone.
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  Welcome to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment, a space for honest conversations about
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  Christian dating, heartbreak, and healing.
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  If you've ever said, I thought God told me they were the one.
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  This podcast is for you. Here, we process the pain, rebuild the trust in God, and rediscover hope.
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  One honest conversation at a time.
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  All right, welcome, welcome, welcome again to Kingdom Spouse Disappointment.
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  Welcome to my podcast. My name is Lori and I'm your host.
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  And today we will be talking a bit about discernment, right?
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  So most of you know my story already where,
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  I, at a point in my life, believed that God showed me who my future spouse would be,
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  right and we eventually entered a relationship we got engaged but in the end
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  everything you know just fell apart and I was left with many questions about you know,
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  why this happened you know questions about God and his faithfulness,
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  and I was just really left devastated and heartbroken,
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  and one of the questions that,
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  that ponder that I pondered in my mind at the time.
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  Was regarding discernment right,
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  is it that I didn't discern well is it that I missed something,
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  like what happened and if you are or were in a similar situation where you believe
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  that someone was was going to be your future spouse,
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  or you thought that this is the person,
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  God has for you but,
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  things didn't work out or in some cases you believe that you received this promise
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  and it didn't even materialize, right?
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  If you are or were going through such a situation, you might also have these
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  questions about discernment.
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  And in today's episode, we're going to touch a bit on what discernment is from
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  a biblical point of view.
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  Now, this is the first of three episodes.
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  So I'm doing a little mini-series about discernment because this is really,
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  I would say, a topic that, you know, I had a lot of questions about and others
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  might as they navigate, you know, their heartbreak and as they try to find answers,
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  and hope and move forward to healing, you know,
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  to restoration in their hope in God, right?
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  And for me personally, I think when I just became a Christian and growing up, discernment felt like.
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  This supernatural ability to always get it right.
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  I don't know if that's how you experience discernment, but for me.
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  When persons would describe someone as discerning or someone who has the gift of discernment...
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  It's almost this sense of this person could probably read your mind.
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  All right, maybe I'm exaggerating. But it's almost as if this person who was
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  discerning, they could sense everything that everybody else couldn't sense.
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  Or maybe this person just always knew what to do, when to do it,
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  and how to do it perfectly.
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  And that's for me. I'm not saying that's what discernment is,
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  or I'm not saying that is how you probably experienced it.
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  But for me, I do think I had a little shaky idea of what discernment really was.
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  And it was this supernatural capability to always know what to do and to always
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  have insights to a situation, right?
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  And I really believe this topic is important because you might be saying,
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  why is she talking about discernment at this stage?
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  But I really believe this topic is important because it will just help to, I would say.
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  It would help us to navigate some of those complex questions we have about our
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  situation and about, you know, was I right?
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  Was I wrong? What happened? What didn't happen? Right? I'm hoping it will help.
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  Now from a non-religious point
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  of view what is discernment it's tied into having some form of insight,
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  Now, what is discernment then from a biblical point of view?
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  Now, in essence, there is some similarity where when.
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  Someone speaks about having the gift of discernment, they speak about being
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  able to receive insight from the Holy Spirit, as well as the possibility of
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  being able to know what to do, what not to do,
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  or what path to take when it comes on to decision-making.
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  But at the same time, I think there is also more to discernment that we know.
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  And this is something I came across recently.
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  And this is from 1 Kings 3.9. This is one of the first times I'm seeing the
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  word discern being used.
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  Right. And this is when, you know, King Solomon, you know, I believe he had a dream.
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  The Lord appeared to him in a dream. And, you know, technically God was asking
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  him, you know, what do you want?
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  You know, ask me what you want and I'll give it to you.
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  And this is 1 Kings 3 verse 9. And he says, this is Solomon.
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  So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people,
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  and to distinguish between right and wrong for who is able to govern this great people of yours.
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  And that stood out to me because it is also showing me that there's a part of
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  discernment where it's about, you know,
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  knowing what pleases God from what doesn't please God, knowing what's right
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  and knowing what's wrong.
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  So let's take relationship, for example, when it comes on to discernment.
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  I might be praying and asking God for discernment and in terms of my expectations,
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  I might be expecting some supernatural.
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  Dream or some elaborate confirmation or something elaborate to dissuade me, right?
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  And then I'll say, okay, I've successfully discerned if something extravagantly supernatural happens.
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  But what I'm also realizing, you know, as I'm trying to learn more about discernment
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  and trying to find out what the word says about it,
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  is that discernment sometimes as well is just simply also using the word of
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  God, you know, to just guide your decision and to determine what is happening.
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  Right or wrong, I think there's even a scripture that says that God's word is
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  active and sharp, like a two-edged sword, and it can discern the thoughts and emotions of men.
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  Now, you might be saying, where is this going? You know, what is all of this
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  about? What I'm just really trying to probably suggest is that I think sometimes we beat up ourselves.
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  Sometimes we beat up ourselves when it comes on to decision making and discerning.
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  And if I'm honest, we might get super hyper fixated or even obsessed with discerning,
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  you know, what is the perfect decision. Right.
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  And that is OK to want to know what decision to make. Right.
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  But I also think a part of discerning and discernment is,
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  about finding out what pleases God, finding out what is good or bad,
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  what is pleasing or displeasing to the Lord,
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  and not just about knowing exactly the outcome of a situation beforehand.
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  Discerning what is the will of God, discerning what decision to make,
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  comes with practice as well as comes with you deepening your relationship with God.
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  And that doesn't mean that you won't ever get it wrong. Because in my situation,
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  I believe that discernment meant that I would always have the right answer.
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  I would make the perfect decision all the time.
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  And I just want to let you know that discernment comes with practice, relationship.
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  Even in the New Testament, we see where, you know, Jesus taught his disciples how to discern.
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  You know, there are times he would teach something and,
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  you know they would say math so so so and so and he's like no that's not what
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  i'm saying this is the meaning of this parable or this is the meaning behind
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  this or this is what i'm trying to portray so,
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  i just want to encourage you,
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  right that despite what you might be going through right now you might have
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  questions about a decision you made wondering is this the right decision?
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  Is this not the right decision?
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  Was this the right decision or was this not the right decision?
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  I just want to encourage you that.
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  You know, God is with you and His grace is there with you.
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  Discernment is not always about having the perfect decision and knowing the
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  end from the beginning, right? That's what?
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  That's God's job. He knows the end from the beginning, right?
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  And our job is to seek him to seek his direction but also to trust him even when we don't know.
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  And since discerning and discernment is finding out what pleases god sometimes
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  being discerning could look like trusting god,
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  even when you are not sure and that is called faith and faith pleases god,
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  so that would be you know,
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  a pleasing thing for him which that is what discerning is or discernment is
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  finding out what pleases him,
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  and also finding out which way to go,
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  So as we wrap up today's episode, you know, God is with you.
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  And the fact that He is there with you in this situation, to be honest,
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  oftentimes is worth more than you having the perfect answer. Yeah.
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  So before I close off, I just want to leave with you your truth for the journey for this week.
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  And your truth for the journey for this week is that God's strength is made
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  perfect in your weakness.
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  So as you're trying to discern everything and figure out your current situation,
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  just know that His grace is sufficient for you.
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  And his strength is is made perfect in your weakness thank you so much for tuning in today's episode,
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  and you know if this episode has taught you something or blessed you you know
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  please like comment share it to someone we think you know it could be useful or helpful too,
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  and i do look forward meeting with you guys next week,
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  as we talk a bit more about discernment especially some things that can blur,
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  or hinder you know discernment so have a great week bye.