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How narcissists treat their kids · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time to see my
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  face or hear my lovely voice. I am a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and it's my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and also
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  validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said disorders.
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  Said talk to people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how do narcissists treat
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  their children. How do narcissists treat their
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  children? Touchy, touchy subject Y'all A
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  lot of people want to ask me ask me these type of questions Y'all
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  but people don't interact with the video so I just like okay.
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  Before we hop into today's episode, y'all check out the
• 0:45
  self love journal on Amazon. Lee Hammock I love me a self
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  love journal. Help me rebuild that self love,
• 0:51
  identity and things like that after a type of relationship.
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  I'm I'm only laugh at y'all because somebody in my comment
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  section said the other day he's like you say and things like
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  that a lot so you just put that on the shirt.
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  I was like y'all listen too good.
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  Y'all been listening too much. I appreciate it though.
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  But yeah, how do narcissists treat their children?
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  So a lot of narcissistic people y'all see their children see our
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  children as reflections of ourselves, right?
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  So if we see our children as reflections of ourselves, then
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  we're going to treat our children how we feel about
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  ourselves. That's why they're delivering
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  something. I'm my ring, Dober went off.
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  We're going to treat our children how we feel about
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  ourselves. Like narcissistic people treat
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  their children from the inside out.
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  I would say definitely from the inside that work, work yourself
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  from the inside going out and things like that.
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  So how I feel about myself typically is how I'm going to
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  treat the children in my life, not in my life, the children
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  that I've birthed or that I've helped create and whatnot, you
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  know? So it works that way a lot of
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  times. So if that narcissistic person
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  is feeling good about good about themselves, they typically might
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  treat their children somewhat nicely because it just it just
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  depends. Y'all there's not a, there's not
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  A1 size fits all spectrum when you talk about how narcissists
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  treat their kids. Because some nurses treat their
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  kids good, some of them will treat their kids fairly well.
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  They might be treating their partner badly, but they might
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  treat their kids good, if that's possible.
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  You don't think? I think a lot of people would
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  say, well, you can't be a good parent.
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  If you're abused, you can't be a good parent if you are being
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  emotionally or physically abusive to the other parent,
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  which I would agree with that, but they treat that would treat
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  their children, you know, well in a lot of different
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  circumstances and a lot of different instances, Would it
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  come if that comes, If it comes to that point right there.
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  But yeah, narcissist, the people like tend to see kids as
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  reflections of ourselves. So how we feel about ourselves
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  and how we're going to treat our kids if we don't like ourselves,
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  y'all. If we hate ourselves, if we
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  dislike a lot of the things about us, then we're and our
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  kids reflect that back to us. Then we're going to treat those
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  children like we don't care about them, like we don't like
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  them. You see what I'm saying?
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  If that child is reflecting back the qualities in myself that I
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  do not like, then you will resent that kid and they will
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  treat those kids badly. You know, That's why you cut.
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  You get into these situations where you have, if there's
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  multiple kids or sometimes there's could be just one kid
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  with a child, could be a golden child or a scapegoat child, the
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  golden children get treated well.
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  If you are my little reflection and you're reflecting back my
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  good qualities, you make me feel good about myself, Then I'm
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  going to treasure and value you. And a lot of times to try to
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  live vicariously, vicariously through you.
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  You see what I'm saying? So you get the golden child who
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  gets a lot of love and affection applied to them and a lot of
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  pressure as well. Golden children get a lot of
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  pressure applied to them. Like you.
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  You damn near have to become a perfectionist to survive.
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  A lot of times, if you just so happen to be the golden child,
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  you have to you have to be a perfectionist.
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  Like if you want to keep making your parent happy, you notice
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  that you notice I said parent. Because narcissistic people can
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  be male, female, nonboner, whatever you identify as.
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  You can be narcissistic and toxic as hell.
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  You see what I'm saying? And so it gets into that space
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  right there where, like, the golden children are going to get
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  treated. They're going to treat the
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  golden children well. From the outside looking in.
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  From the outside looking in, she's like, damn you, really
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  you. Hey, that's your little, that's
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  your little carbon copyright. Are you treating that kid just
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  like, hey, you love that one? That you love that one?
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  Yeah. Yeah, you love that one.
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  Because they've reflected it. Make you feel good about
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  yourself. Narcissistic people are all
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  about validation and supply and things of that nature.
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  So they're going to be looking to get that from people.
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  They're going to be looking to seek that from people and what
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  they're going to be looking to achieve that from others.
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  You see what I'm saying? So if that as that goes on, as
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  that continues to build up and stuff and things, it's going to
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  work. It's going to go that way.
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  This one, just one of those things is going to continuously
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  go that way because that's how narcissistic people work out.
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  That's the mindset of it all. That's how it's going to
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  continuously work. And it's going to keep going
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  that way until something, until something happens, until
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  something abruptly happens. Like they're going to keep
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  treating the kid away, keep treat, keep treating the golden
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  child like a golden child until that golden child does something
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  that makes that narcissistic person resent them.
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  You see what I'm saying? Because sometimes you can, you
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  can transition from going to be treated as a the child of a
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  narcissist. You can go, you can transition
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  from being treated well to being treated badly almost overnight.
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  Because if that, if you start reflecting back the qualities
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  that that narcissistic person does not like about themselves,
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  they start resenting you as their own child, as the as
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  somebody who might look like them, as as somebody who might
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  act like them. And they might start treating
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  you badly just because you start acting because they look at you
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  differently. You mean it happens all the
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  time. It happens all the time in these
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  relationship spaces, in these relationship dynamics.
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  That's what I tell people. They're like, hey, you got to
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  be. You have to be very weary about
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  this. Yeah, because you can go from
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  the golden child to the scapegoat in the in a little
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  bit. Because the scapegoat children.
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  You know, if you've been the scapegoat child of a narcissist,
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  you probably reflect back the bad qualities of the
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  narcissistic person. When I say bad qualities, I
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  don't mean you're a bad person. Not only even me, the society
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  will perceive them as bad qualities.
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  The narcissist perceives them as bad qualities.
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  The narcissist perceives them as qualities.
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  They remind them of themselves and the things about themselves
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  that they don't like. So they're going to treat that
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  goat. They're going to treat that
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  scapegoat child as a scapegoat. You're going to get blamed for
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  everything. You're going to also have to be
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  you also going to have to be a perfectionist.
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  But your perfection or your attempt at being a perfectionist
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  is not going to be rewarded as much as as much as if you were a
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  golden child. You, the scapegoat child, has to
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  be perfect just to survive. You mean the golden child has to
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  be perfect to survive, but also to get that attention and
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  validation from the narcissistic parent.
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  You know what I mean? Because as a father that has no
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  statistic person on the disorder my mind works at works in a very
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  similar way. I've had to go to therapy to try
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  to to course correct this. Because it is, it is can be
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  disheartening because that's what I want to value my kids,
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  regardless of who they are, all my kids, to have their own
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  identity. And if you are the child of a
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  Narcis, a lot of times you don't get to have your own identity.
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  If you have your own identity as a child of a Narcis, they treat
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  you like an outlier. They treat you badly because
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  they want you to be who they want you to be.
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  If you have your own identity, if you push back, if you try to
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  set boundaries on your narcissistic parent, even as a
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  child growing up, they resent you.
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  They treat you badly. They push against your
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  boundaries. They abuse you physically,
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  mentally, emotionally and verbally.
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  They abuse you in every way possible.
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  You see what I'm saying? They will.
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  They will because you push back. Because you said boundaries.
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  We all know that narcissists don't like boundaries anyway,
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  but it does get to that point, into that space where you get a
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  lot of them who act, who act different, who act out, who tend
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  to want to act out, who tend to want to behave in a certain type
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  of way. Because they, you know, because
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  they are the golden child. Because they are the parents.
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  Narcissistic parents demand respect and they feel like
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  golden child, scapegoat, child, whatever version, whatever role
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  that you're playing as a child of a narcissist.
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  They demand respect. They demand they they they
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  demand not only respect, they demand compliance.
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  They think narcissistic people think that their kids belong to
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  them. Like your life is a loan.
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  Like the fact that you were born and you're walking on this earth
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  is a loan. Like you are in debt to that
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  narcissist for the rest of your life.
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  This is the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
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  Like, hey, you are only born because I allowed you to be
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  born. You're only here because I I
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  allowed you to be here. You mean so you you.
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  You should be grateful that you have birthed and that I
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  sacrificed for you. The narcissistic parent will
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  literally everything that they do for you growing up,
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  everything that they do to raise you.
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  Even the the bare minimum stuff they will consider that like you
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  should be grateful for. Hey you.
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  At least I didn't do this. At least I didn't do that.
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  I wasn't that bad of a parent. At least I was there for you.
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  At least I didn't abandon you. At least I did this.
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  And you know, they can treat you horribly throughout the entirety
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  of your childhood but want you to hold on to the few good times
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  that they were there for you, the few good times that they,
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  you know, they want you to hold on to that type of stuff.
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  I'm just telling you if you have a parent that is a narcissist,
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  you understand exactly what I'm saying.
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  And I say that when I'm conveying this to you because it
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  does get to that point into that space where the narcissistic
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  person, you know what I mean is that they will control you.
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  They will do things like this to you.
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  They will just, they they this is the mindset.
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  Y'all it really is the mindset. It really is just a very weird
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  dynamic being raised by narcissists that you can never
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  ever truly make happy. It sucks that you can't make
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  your parent happy. I know you want a lot of times
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  you want to try to make your parent happy.
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  You know, try to get your parents approval.
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  You want to do things to make them proud of you.
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  But make it to make a narcissistic parent proud of you
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  is a very, very difficult task. Damn near impossible task.
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  A lot of times. Y'all it really, really is.
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  So I just like it. It sucks.
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  But I said you have to when you grow up, you get your own
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  identity. Like don't.
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  It's not your fault. I would just say it is not your
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  fault you get raised by Narciss. It really is not your fault.
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  Y'all, you can't choose. You can't pick your parents.
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  You can't choose your parents. And you, like said, you just
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  with a narcissism, the toxic parents.
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  And it sucks to be out, I tell you.
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  But I tell you all the time. Be with y'all let me hop off
• 10:15
  this thing. Let me hop off do A1 O1 y'all
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  would hear the little zoom thing go off.
• 10:19
  Make sure you hop on like on Amazon.
• 10:21
  Check out the self love journal the self love brand.
• 10:23
  I just Speaking of kids. Kids raised by Narciss.
• 10:26
  I just wrote it. We wrote it kids but this coming
• 10:28
  out soon so join my newsletter so you don't miss it when that
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  gets released. Y'all like and subscribe for
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  more and as always the illness is out peace.
• 10:35
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 10:38
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• 10:40
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• 10:47
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• 10:49
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• 10:52
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• 10:55
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• 11:04
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