Latest / Ridiculous History / The World's Weirdest Sports, Part One: Buzkashī is Where You Fight Over A Dead Goat

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The World's Weirdest Sports, Part One: Buzkashī is Where You Fight Over A Dead Goat · Ridiculous History

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  Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the show Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so much
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: for tuning in. Let's hear it for the Man, the Myth,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the Legend. Super producer, mister Max Williams.
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  Speaker 2: Huzzah, you good child.
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  Speaker 3: You would pick to do a sports episode when I
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: was six. I think this is intense. My breath, I'm
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  Speaker 3: going to talk too much.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I thought it was raucous applause heard from a distance. Oh,
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  Speaker 2: as I was also just doing a breath check. Do
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  Speaker 2: I have coffee breath? I should? I probably do.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, that's the best thing about us recording remotely. We
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  Speaker 1: can't smell our mutual coffee breath shut out by the
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: way to our other super producer, all of the coffee.
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  Speaker 2: Indeed, I'm out of oat milk though today, guys, so
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not at my best. I know it's just doesn't
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  Speaker 2: add anything to the kick of the coffee, but it's
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  Speaker 2: just something about the balance of the flavor. It doesn't right,
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  Speaker 2: but it's still pretty good. I went ice today. How
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  Speaker 2: about you, Ben? What kind of coffee beverage are you Rockins?
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  Speaker 1: You're an old brown. I'm Ben Bullen. We're all fans
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: of coffee. I drink my coffee straight, probably to a
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  Speaker 1: dangerous degree.
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  Speaker 2: Ud jar. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Max is actually getting pretty big into the coffee business.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: We were talking off air a while back, and Max
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  Speaker 1: has a system of coffee creation, a cold brew coffee
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  Speaker 1: creation that is on the level of becoming a sport Ben.
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  Speaker 2: I like your demonstration of transitional prowess here. We're gonna
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  Speaker 2: talk about other kinds of prowess today. Sports. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: really much of a sporte like that.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, you like the vibe much a vibe at
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  Speaker 1: a live event.
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  Speaker 2: I'm a vibe based human being, that is true. If
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  Speaker 2: the vibe is right, then I'm there for it. I'm
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  Speaker 2: trying to think when the last time I went to
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  Speaker 2: a live sporting event was. It's been many years. Does
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Monster Truck Rally count as a sporting event? Definitely? Okay,
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  Speaker 2: well I went to that with both of you and
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  Speaker 2: Max actually, as it were, even convinced my girlfriend to
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  Speaker 2: go with us. And my kid, who has let's just
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  Speaker 2: say some potential to be overstimulated, did not have a
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  Speaker 2: good time at the Monster Truck Rally.
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  Speaker 1: Dude, It's funny because when you bring up monster truck rallies.
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  Speaker 2: It reminds me.
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  Speaker 1: That that must look so strange. If you traveled from
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  Speaker 1: ancient meso America to the modern day and you saw
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  Speaker 1: a monster truck rally, you would feel like you had
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  Speaker 1: discovered a new religion.
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  Speaker 2: Or the hell had opened up and the demons are
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  Speaker 2: now on earth in the form of giant car eating
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  Speaker 2: fire breathing machines, and.
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  Speaker 1: That would be your religion. That's a weirdly specific thing.
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  Speaker 1: I can't wait till we do time travel.
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  Speaker 2: But I'm your God now right right, truck Asaurus, all
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  Speaker 2: hail bow down before.
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  Speaker 1: What we're talking about in something that may become a
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  Speaker 1: series today is weird sports, by which we mean sports
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  Speaker 1: we consider incredibly odd for one reason or another.
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  Speaker 2: Can we also just take this moment to take back
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  Speaker 2: the word weird, Like I more or less appreciate what
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  Speaker 2: the the lefties are doing and trying to, you know,
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  Speaker 2: co opt that word as an insult. But you know what,
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  Speaker 2: I'm over it. Weird is cool. We're wonderfully weird here
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  Speaker 2: on ridiculous history. Yeah, keep Austin weird.
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  Speaker 1: Also, weird was a good Minnesota level insult.
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  Speaker 2: I guess right, I guess that was the basis, because
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  Speaker 2: old what is it, Chris Christoph Waltz, that's funny. So
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  Speaker 2: we're weird.
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  Speaker 1: We are talking about these sports that may not be
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  Speaker 1: familiar to a lot of people. Now, look, if you
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  Speaker 1: live in the United States, really, regardless of where you
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  Speaker 1: live or whether or not you care for sports, when
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  Speaker 1: you think of the term or the concept, you immediately
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  Speaker 1: conjure images of your favorite athletes, the most memorable game
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  Speaker 1: you have played or watched.
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  Speaker 2: Shout out to Dodgers fans, by the way, good on y'all.
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  Speaker 2: Your team won the World Series, right, And he says
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  Speaker 2: he does it no sports.
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  Speaker 3: I got to sit over her and think of an
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  Speaker 3: excuse to say they didn't actually win the World Series,
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  Speaker 3: like how they won in twenty twenty. Everyone's like, well,
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  Speaker 3: that was a fake World Series, But congratulations Rogers.
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  Speaker 2: You sound a little bitter, Max.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I heard any Atlanta and LA have been the
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  Speaker 3: two best teams and all for like the last five
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  Speaker 3: years or so, so it's just been kind of robberly.
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  Speaker 3: But you know, I love a tany, I love Muki Batts,
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  Speaker 3: and I love Freddy Freeman obviously the rest of them.
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  Speaker 2: I love anybody named Muki or Freddie.
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  Speaker 1: And you'll probably think of the logos of your favorite teams.
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  Speaker 1: You might think of some of the world's most popular sports,
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  Speaker 1: like soccer or football as it's called in the rest
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  Speaker 1: of the world, or American football, right right, basketball or baseball.
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  Speaker 1: And we had a long discourse in our research here
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  Speaker 1: when we were having what Corporate America would call a
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  Speaker 1: healthy conversation about how you should not call baseball a
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  Speaker 1: World Series. If none of the teams from the Caribbean,
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  Speaker 1: South America or East Asia can participate, the World Series
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  Speaker 1: is just the US and Canada, right.
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  Speaker 2: I never thought of that. That is a little bit
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  Speaker 2: of a misnomer.
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  Speaker 3: Counter being the way of a Champions League, which is
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  Speaker 3: like the club soccer equivalent to the World Cup. That's
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  Speaker 3: kind of what the World.
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  Speaker 2: Cup is like.
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  Speaker 3: Is the best Japanese players in the world, the best
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  Speaker 3: Caribbean players, the best South American players, they all play. Honestly,
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  Speaker 3: the highest level ones play in America. This is the
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  Speaker 3: highest circuit. It's the same way. Look how the English
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  Speaker 3: Premier League and a number of other European leagues are
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  Speaker 3: the highest soccer ones. But now they have the World
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  Speaker 3: Baseball Classic, which if you do not know the United
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  Speaker 3: States has never won, all right, they lost to Japan.
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  Speaker 3: So that's my counter there.
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  Speaker 2: Well, that's telling you what the United States is definitely
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  Speaker 2: known for him is curling. Ah, yes, if you heard
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  Speaker 2: if I was being.
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  Speaker 1: Fasious, it worked if you are Max. Of course, when
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: you hear the word sports, you probably just thought of curling.
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  Speaker 1: To Mill's point, and please check out our not one episode,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: but our multi episode series on Curly.
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  Speaker 2: It was never going to not be a multi part
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  Speaker 2: it was never not going to be. But in today's episode,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to cut through kind of the basics, you know,
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  Speaker 2: the obvious candidates for for sporting leisure activities, and we're
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  Speaker 2: going to delve into some much lesser known feats of
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  Speaker 2: strength and physical prowess games that are were or are
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  Speaker 2: insanely popular in their region or also time and seem to,
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  Speaker 2: at least outside observers, to be a little bit odd.
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  Speaker 2: But we know that that term is a little bit loaded,
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  Speaker 2: because you know, one person's odd is another person's normal.
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  Speaker 2: So you know, let's let's dive in. I'm hoping I'm
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  Speaker 2: saying it right, is it? It's not to be confused
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  Speaker 2: with another naughty or word it's Bouzkashi.
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  Speaker 1: Oh you got it, You got it, And I applaud
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  Speaker 1: you for keeping our family show VIV going.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't even give you the ammunition needed to google
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  Speaker 2: the other words. So that's right.
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  Speaker 1: And since we mentioned Japan earlier, technically that word is
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  Speaker 1: a food dish.
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  Speaker 2: That's right.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we will not take our minds out of
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  Speaker 1: the gutter. I do appreciate that idea about perspective there,
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  Speaker 1: because one person's crazy is another person's normal. Think about,
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  Speaker 1: for instance, like when you hear us discuss this stuff.
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  Speaker 1: However strange it may sound, please remember that you probably
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  Speaker 1: have some things in your life that sound very strange
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  Speaker 1: to outsiders. I always love the example of neckties.
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  Speaker 2: Were it a tie, it's weird? What's it for? What
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  Speaker 2: does it do? Yeah? It holds your tie pin collection,
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  Speaker 2: that's yeah. You know what would set off my three
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  Speaker 2: piece suit? A useless scarf, A thing that looks like
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  Speaker 2: a scarf but doesn't do it anyway. Sorry, we digress.
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  Speaker 2: We should do We should do a history of neckties.
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  Speaker 2: We should because its yeah, the policy wonks rock and
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  Speaker 2: the bow tie. We also have we have a short
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  Speaker 2: brain stuff video on it where we figure out. No,
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  Speaker 2: no spoilers, nobody look that up. Why does of Islam
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  Speaker 2: guys all wear bow ties? Where did that come from?
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  Speaker 2: So many questions that we will explore in a future
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  Speaker 2: episode on the history of ties.
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  Speaker 1: And while we're working on that, oh, we cannot wait
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  Speaker 1: to introduce you to, as Noel said, Buzkashi, which is
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  Speaker 1: best stereotyped as the dead goat sport of Afghanistand.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm on board. Tell me Mark, all right, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you're interested. All right.
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  Speaker 1: So this is a traditional, very old sport in the area,
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  Speaker 1: actually in Central Asia overall that involves horse riding, teamwork
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  Speaker 1: and the skillful control of a dead goat or calf carcass. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so it's like carcass polo.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, nailed it. But you use your hand instead of
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  Speaker 2: a stick.
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  Speaker 1: Depends on where you're at. Yeah, yeah, you do use
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  Speaker 1: your hands. It's rugby on a horse. It's tough with
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  Speaker 1: a carcass.
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  Speaker 2: What is this thing in the middle they're all flopping into.
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  Speaker 2: It's like a giant dog dish that they sort of
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  Speaker 2: bail out into. What the heck? Yeah? Wow? Is that
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  Speaker 2: how you score? Oh? It is that's the goal. You
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  Speaker 2: deposit the carcass into the dog dish, but sometimes you
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  Speaker 2: go with it with your whole body. We're watching a
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  Speaker 2: YouTube video. This is nuts. So we're watching YouTube video. Folks.
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  Speaker 2: You should watch it like sports now. Yeah, it's it
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  Speaker 2: is a wild ride. I actually ran late to recording.
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  Speaker 2: I think I told you guys. I'm sorry.
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  Speaker 1: I'm in this rabbit hole of Buzkashi videos Like, Noel,
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  Speaker 1: could you describe what you're seeing?
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  Speaker 2: Oh? I think I already did, but I'll gladly do
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  Speaker 2: it again. It's literally like all of these dudes on
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  Speaker 2: horses smacking each other's horses on the butt like it
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  Speaker 2: seems like it's a no hole's barred type situation. They're right,
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  Speaker 2: and these tight packs, and I guess they're vying for
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  Speaker 2: control of this literal like dead goat looking thing, which
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  Speaker 2: I will get into in a little bit about like
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  Speaker 2: what's the modern you know, substitute for actual dead goat carcass.
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  Speaker 2: But yeah, they deposit it into this giant like it
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  Speaker 2: looks like a mound kind of or really a dog dish,
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  Speaker 2: I think is the best way to describe it. But
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  Speaker 2: sometimes they'll just dive in along with it, and people
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  Speaker 2: are diving after them to try to I guess, knock
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  Speaker 2: it out of the goal. They use these riding crops.
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  Speaker 2: It is they're wearing furry hats. Yes, yes, and also
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  Speaker 2: I we have to do it. We're going to play
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  Speaker 2: just a brief clip of the audio that I would
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  Speaker 2: argue does not match for this so very reserved. It's
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  Speaker 2: actually it's like no commentary, no shade to.
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  Speaker 1: Our past, our past endeavors. But it reminds me of
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  Speaker 1: some of the best stock music we would use in
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  Speaker 1: brain stuff.
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  Speaker 2: Got it, okay, golds Bob in his head, got a
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  Speaker 2: littlettention in it? Okay, all right, okay, ah ah right, okay,
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  Speaker 2: that's what we need.
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  Speaker 1: We need an ad lib on that. Yeah. Anyway, so
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  Speaker 1: we we invite you to this rabbit hole of clips
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  Speaker 1: that are just as nol described, clearly expert equestrians, horsemen
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  Speaker 1: who are passing around this literal dead body in rugby
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  Speaker 1: style like they're going for it. They're getting it. This
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  Speaker 1: is believed to have been played as early as the
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  Speaker 1: tenth century. Oh and bluskashi means goat grabbing.
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  Speaker 2: That's accurate. That's accurate description of what I'm seeing here.
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  Speaker 2: I just paused it on a frame and it's just
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  Speaker 2: like melee there on top of each other on these
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  Speaker 2: with these horses, And like I said, the riding crops,
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  Speaker 2: it seems more designed for smacking the other person's horse
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  Speaker 2: to get them to like giddy up in the wrong
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  Speaker 2: direction or something. I don't know. I wanted to.
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  Speaker 1: Get knocked off their horses into the dish.
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  Speaker 2: Is there a professional association of this sport with codified rules?
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  Speaker 2: It seems just like I said, every every player for
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  Speaker 2: themselves to answer that question. No one is sure how
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  Speaker 2: buzkashi or goat grabbing in Dari, the version of Persian
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  Speaker 2: language has spoken in a lot of Afghanistan, where it
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  Speaker 2: originated on the steps of Central Asia. But one possible
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  Speaker 2: theory involves the evolution of the sports centuries ago as
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  Speaker 2: a battle exercise for Mongol raiders, which I could see
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  Speaker 2: that makes sense as like running a running a simulation
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  Speaker 2: of what it might be like to have to like
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  Speaker 2: do battle a top horse pack.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and for everybody asking, we'll get into the rules.
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  Speaker 1: But first thing you should know you don't get points
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  Speaker 1: for getting knocked off your horse. And these guys are
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  Speaker 1: getting smacked off their horses left and right pursuing this goat.
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  Speaker 1: It's kind of it's it's like rugby, it's like hockey,
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  Speaker 1: but as you said, on a horse, uh yeah, yeah yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And these days it's played across Eurasia. Depending on which
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  Speaker 1: of the stands you're in, you might see different rules
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  Speaker 1: because as you mentioned, there are they're not really specific
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  Speaker 1: codified rules for how to play this game. Like in
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  Speaker 1: Kizikhstan and Kazakhstan they have a team format and you
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  Speaker 1: throw the calf, carcass or the goat into those raised goals.
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  Speaker 1: And I love your description. It does look like a
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  Speaker 1: big dog dish, like a dish for Clifford the giant
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  Speaker 1: red dog. And you mentioned something else. Nowadays, because this
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  Speaker 1: sport is still extremely popular nowadays, they're not necessarily using
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  Speaker 1: actual carcasses. They're using like fake faux carcasses for carcass.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, like like like the fake first, so you don't
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: get paint dumped on you. But problem there is if
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: they look too real, you're still going to get the paint.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And in parts of western China, like I think to
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  Speaker 1: Xinyang and stuff like that, the mounts, the people are
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  Speaker 1: riding yaks instead of horses, And I get to be
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: honest with you, guys, I don't know the difference between
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  Speaker 1: the ground speed of a yak versus the ground speed
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  Speaker 1: of a horse. I always problem it feels like it
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  Speaker 1: like I always pictured horses as the faster ones.
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  Speaker 2: But I don't know. Yaks have always struck me as
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  Speaker 2: being a little on the weedy side. You know, they
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: got thin little legs. I just don't feel like they'd
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  Speaker 2: have the stamina that a horse would have. Maybe that's
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  Speaker 2: just what they've got laying around. You know, they got
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: more ya so you know, you know what, Ben, We're
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: looking up some pictures of yaks right now, and they're
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  Speaker 2: not the animals that I was quite picturing. I don't know,
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  Speaker 2: I was weird thinking al Paka or so Lama maybe,
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: but I was pictured maybe a cartoon yaks, or like
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  Speaker 2: an emaciated yak from Ren and Stimpy. Weren't there weird yaks?
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: And there was yaks in Ren and Stimpy. They had
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: like the Yaks Club or the the like an Elks
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: lodge thing, but it was with yaks, and they were
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  Speaker 2: always real diseased and weedy looking. But these boys are
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  Speaker 2: furry and beefy. They're like a buffalo, Yes, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Buffalo, like the younger, smaller cousin of a bison. But
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  Speaker 1: to be quite honest, they don't look like they can
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  Speaker 1: run as quickly as a horse.
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  Speaker 2: Deck is sure, buck though. Yeah they got the horns,
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  Speaker 2: twenty horns. That seems like I would add a level
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  Speaker 2: of danger to an already quite dangerous sport. So let's
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: go back. That's a great point.
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  Speaker 1: Let's go back to that theory, uh, that this was
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a training exercise for Mongol forces. Right, we know that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: part of the reason the Connates existed and got all
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: the way to Hungary is because the cavalry was amazing.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: They had they had horsemanship that was unprecedented at their time.
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  Speaker 1: So perhaps these nomadic tribes gamified their practice, right, they
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: honed their riding and hunting skills, and then over time
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  Speaker 1: it becomes a popular sport in the region. And it
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  Speaker 1: you know, what it reminds me of is all the
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: sports that require a lot of equipment. Like a lot
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: of kids in the US never play American football because
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: you have to buy so much stuff just to get
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: on the field.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: The pads, the helmet, the mean football is expensive. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: No pigskin, right right, right, yeah, the old pigskin. So
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  Speaker 1: we got to be careful not to judge these people,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: isn't that right?
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Is American football just another form of throwing around a
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: faux carcass.
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  Speaker 1: Without even the horses. So you can't really play this
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: game unless you have a worse And this, again from
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: a cultural standpoint, seems like a fascinating thing to be
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: good at. You can tell their pro buskashi players. However,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the fun Police came in to Afghanistan.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Damn it, fun police. I hate it when they show
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: up bus kills.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the name wrong one time. I thought
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  Speaker 1: the fun Police were pro fun.
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  Speaker 2: No, no, sir, Yes, they're here to police your fun,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: shut it down, they say when they come upon a
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: child's birthday party.
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  Speaker 1: Or like that movie Footloose is nothing for some reason.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: Band it's a bit of a puritanical kind of mindset,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: that's true. And in this case, the ultra conservative Taliban
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: are these, said fun police. We've heard of them. They
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: banned a buskashi and many other forms of entertainment, citing
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: them as being immoral, but of course, like many things
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: that are attempted to be suppressed, they continue to thrive. Mmmm.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the ultra conservative Taliban.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: You know them, You know you know, you do know,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: you do know they're in the news. Yeah, they're around.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: And during their rule they bands, like you said, this
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: sport because they found it somehow contra you know, they
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: fund policed it. And with the larger fall of the Taliban,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: the sport became popular again. Their international tournaments across Eurasia
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: and the Afghan government, which is not the world's most
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: perfect government, promotes bouskashi as a symbol of national identity.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: They want you to go watch a buskasi game.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: So with that in mind, maybe we should, you know,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: talk about how the sport is played. Uh, because as
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: an American myself, I'm still a bit hazy on the
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: rules of American football. There's something to do with downs
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: and running in directions and then count the quarters of
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: the game, I believe.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: And you it's called football, but you only run it
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: with your hands. There's a little bit of kicking one.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: There's a special moment.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: There's a special time that the special boy gets to
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: kick the special ball, the special boy the Golden foot.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Nate Bargates as well for his amazing
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Saturday Night Live stuff. We got his George Washington sketch
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: in particular, Max, the spirit has moved you.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Well, So the best way to think about downs and
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: football is how many trench warfare?
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Trench warfares? Right warfare? Okay, Okay, Basically you get.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Like four tries to move the line and then once
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: you move the line to make a new line and
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: something like that, it's trench warfare.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Okay. Hey, you know what, Max, I'm sorry I was
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: poopooing you there. That is actually the best description of
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: it in a way that I can understand from a
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: historical level. Being you know, history podcast.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Nerds, I try to bridge the gap between being a
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: history nerd and a sports nerd with a plumb. I
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: have the benefit of having a lot of non sport
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: hosts in my family and my friend group.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you Max for you brought the porto. Yeah, I
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: said it first. Now I said brought it back. I said,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: brought it back to sporto. I think that's a British
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: thing and maybe even Australia, because they'll even say if
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: someone's a news reporter, they'll call them news oh's, and
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: if someone is a musician, they call them muso's. And
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: if someone goes to McDonald's they call it Macca's that's
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: weird now, I think you're talking about Paul McCartney. There
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: is that what they call them, They just call them macca.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: People call Paul McCartney macca. It's a thing. You gotta
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: put syr on it. Though Australia, you're part of the
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: common one. What's some respect on this? Oh? Speaking of which,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: sorry to interrupt this, but did you see that King
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Charles recently did a diplomatic visit to Australia and an
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: indigenous member of the Australian whatever equivalent of Congress protested
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: it very loudly and said, you know, Colonizer, give us
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: back what you stole and all this stuff we don't
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: And she's I can't remember her name. I love this
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: person because she even said, you know, they have to
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: take an oath to the king, to the royal family,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: and she said, I did not swear fealty to the
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Queen's heirs. When I said the oath, I said her hairs.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Oh yes, I did read about it, freaking absolutely also
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: a ninja level.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't know the name. Yeah, it's up with throwing
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: a shoe at an American politician to.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Claim that you are not beholden to your oath because
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: you said hairs instead of airs. So the Indigenous senator
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: was Lydia or is Lydia Thorpe th h Orpe?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: That this one. I read the headline, but I did
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: not know the name. And with that your your point
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: about hair's h A I R S versus h E
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I R S.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's the parkour we're looking for. No,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: not today. But you gotta admit though, with an Australian accent,
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: you could very easily kind of blur the line between
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: as and has. You know, I'm just saying you could
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: shout out Robin Thick indeed in the thick of it.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: So yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to derailist. I think
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: it was. Let's talk about what what what? What makes?
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: What does a Boo's Kashi team make?
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to hip you to this because we
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: don't want you to be stuck like some of us
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: out in Ireland watching a game of cricket and having
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: no idea what's going on?
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Is that? What's happening with you right now? Ben? It
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: looks like you're in your home. I guess I could
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: just be a do you only stay in hotels in
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Ireland that look exactly like your living room.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I only stay in places that look exactly like Dexter's
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: kill room. Got with this with the plastic sheets on No,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I'm under I'm doing human stuff. I get a poster
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: of our other show on.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: The back here I'm doing human today. Right. So, so
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: you got ten ten to a team? Right? Or is
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: that a hard and fast number.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Or depends on where you go. So it's a it's
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: a large field. There are two teams. Each team has
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: ten humans and therefore ten horses. And usually you're gonna
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: have a carcass.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Go or a calf. Often there is a carcass right right.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: Or you know, some sort of symbolic representation, right, some
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: kind of pig skin.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Perhaps, have you ever been Naikea? Or they have those
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: fake like cow rugs. You know, I don't think they're
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: actually made of cow, but they look at You could
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: probably rock one of those in a good old friendly
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: game of buzkashi.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: A good friendly game of Buzkashi.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: I love it. Just sew it up.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Here's the gross part or the other growth spart just
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: for practicality, the head and the limbs of this carcass
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: are removed. The object of the game, like you said earlier,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: NOL is for a horseman to pick up the carcass
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: from the ground and carry it to the opposing team's goal.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: It's like the old capture of the flag game.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I've spent very little time on horseback, but just
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: looking at it, I mean it is quite a distance
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: from the top of the horse to the ground, depending
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: on the size of the horse. You have to be good.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: There's a certain skill level required, there's a learning curve.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And they're not strapped in or anything. They're leaning down
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: and just scooping this thing up off the ground, all
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: while being pursued heavily and aggressively by other horsemen.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who are hitting you and hitting your horse And
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: there's not really a fourth down here. And I want
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: to co sign you and cosign Max Max. That was
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: an excellent explanation of US football, especially given the science
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: of how they make the line appear on US football,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it's I don't want to get too house.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Stuff works, you not.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: But did you hear that they this season in the
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: NFL they plan to get rid of the chains like
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: you know? Yes I did, And did you hear they
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: didn't do it. They're still there. No, I have looked
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: into it. They're still there. They still use them, of.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Course they still do. Come on, man, Vegas has too
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: much riding on this.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: It's a multi billion dollar sport. And then they rely
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: on two dudes jogging somewhat correctly and lines over and
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: they can't put a camera angle over the goal one
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: or anything.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: It's terrible.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: It's also it's also uh oh gosh, it is this
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: sport that is most riddled with commercials during during playtime.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Ooh, I wish you guys could see Max's face right there. Well,
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's sort of that one thing I do
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: understand about the nature of the way the game is played.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: It is played in little spurts, and it is conducive
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: to being interrupted by advertising.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: And then now they're putting advertisements in like thirty second spots.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I personally not the biggest football guy at this point
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: in my life. I watched just NFL Red Zone, which
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: is no commercials at all.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just give me the compilations of what actually happened.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: That may be I'd never have the compilations of the commercials,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: you know. I feel like we should do a history
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: of the halftime show.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, should we ever? I don't even know when
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: the first one was we did. We were coming on
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: with so many ideas on the flight tip and just.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I know we're going further down's rabbit hole. One big
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: difference between the Super Bowl and just regular NFL is
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: super Bowl is all brand new ads almost always, Like
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: these companies are really going all out for normal football.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: It is the same like twenty ads the entire.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Uh sucking season.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Leap yourself there, except for in college football where it's
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: the same twenty ads for five years.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: And they give all those dollars to the players there
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: in college football. Right they're starting to, They are starting to.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: They are starting to also. I think you earned it, Max,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: with the facts.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: That seeking in the phone and peaceful in knowledge. It's
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: just for you right now, with the fact yeah, give
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: it to them.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: So for a live audience member of Buskashi, you'll see
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: it's a long event. The game is generally divided into
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: two forty five minute periods. There's a fifteen minute break
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: in between. And to your earlier question, Noel, there are
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: no codified rules about how the game is played. It
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: can be pretty rough. We described how the players are
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: hitting each other, pushing each other.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: You can't have a weapon, you know what I mean.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: You can't just stab some guys. I know, but they
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: do have these writing crops, but they are absolutely spanking
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: the other players. Okay, well, how kind of a weapon.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Hockey players have hockey sticks, that's true. This thing is
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: more like a blackjack though, or like what do they
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: call it in the UK? A truncheon, you know.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: And the witty tea, of course, is the one that
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: gets the most goals.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: You get to take the carcass home. Is that is
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: that part of your winnings. It depends on where you're playing. Okay,
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: fair and you know.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I guess it's a tenderized corpse at that point.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Uh, it's more than a sport, Like we said, it's
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: a symbol of national identity. You play it during important
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: holidays celebrations. It's uh, it's considered a tradition, kind of
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the way that baseball is considered an American tradition. Right,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: we all love going to the ballgame.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: It's as Afghanistani as a severed headed goat carcass, right right?
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Or or also Afghan cuisine is pretty good. I wonder
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: what their equivalent of apple pie is.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, probably goat pie. Okay, I don't know. I would
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: eat that, by the way, and I love goat The
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: only issue. Have you ever had Caribbean food that has.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Ghosts and they'll bone them?
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Very well? No, you can do better. I mean sorry,
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's just tradition, but I have often found like
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: deadly shards of bone and Caribbean goat dishes not so.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And like Indian goat dishes or Bangladesh she goat dishes,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: they clean it much more precisely. Yeah.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and this another point. Maybe this ends up being
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: part one of part one, but another point on what
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: is American culture. When you hear the phrase American is
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: apple pie, people, please remember apples come from Kazakhstan. We're
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: fun at parties, but apple pie ben comes from America.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I feel like someone figured out pie first. I think
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I saw an episode of one of those Gordon Ramsay
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: shows where he humiliates people with terrible restaurants or hotels.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: He went to the inn that was failing. Of course,
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: that was supposedly the place where apple pie was invented.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Really yeah, sort of like the Caesar Sally was invented
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: by in Mexico City. I want to say, by a
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: chef at a particular hotel.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, unrelated to the Greco Ruman.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It took me years to realize that unrelated. Always
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: assumed it was Julius's favorite salad. I think he got
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: I don't think that guy even invented getting stabbed by
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: a bunch of your friends. I've been stabbing for generations
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: before Julius came along.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we could do a history of apples. I think
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: a history of stabbing is.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: The apple pie originated in England.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: The apple pie apple, but the apples are from Kazakhstown
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: to the idea.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Of making it a pie made it all the way
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: from It was developed from culinary influences from France. It is,
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: of course, is French pastry and the Netherlands and even
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: the Automan Empire. It's not American at all.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. This is like when you see a
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: T shirt. This has made in the USA with materials
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: from Yeah.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Oh I haven't seen that that. I'm sorry. So how
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I feel about truck nuts? Who are we to judge?
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Are we to judge? All right? All right?
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Well this is also Buskashi is a way for the
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: public to judge off gonen men. All the buskashi players
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: are our male This is a way for them to
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: judge bravery, horsemanship, physical prowess, as we mentioned at the beginning.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: And a lot of kids, you know, like in that
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: movie bend At, like Beckham, a lot of kids in
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: the area grow up dreaming of becoming notable buskashi players.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: And it is not uncommon for families to put a
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: lot of money into, you know, editing the right equipment,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: finding the best horse, finding the best buskashi mentor for
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: our child.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: As we know, many, no, at least the degenerate gamblers
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: among us know, a big part about knowing how to
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: bet on horse races is knowing the abilities, the weaknesses,
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: the vulnerabilities, how long a particular horse has been racing.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: All of that stuff really matters. So yeah, that would
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: honestly be just as if not more important than the
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: physicality of the player.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent agreed, because the horses are kind
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: of doing the real work, right.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: But I mean, you know, there is physicality involved in
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: the players, you know, much more so than horse racing
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: or I would say, I mean Polo's you know, certainly
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: revolves some precision, but they are bending down, putting their
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: lives at risk to be to be having their faces
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: trampled to whip this rug the off the dirt.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: You know, we're so into this right now that we
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: know there are a lot of problems with buskashi, but
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: it is fascinating, and together we found quite a few
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: parallels to other sports, so much so that I think
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: we might have to save well, what do you think.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I think we have to save our next one for
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: a future episode, for a part two of part one,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Poka talk the ballgame.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: It's true, and I agree with you, Ben. I think
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Muzkashi captured all three of our imaginations and we went
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: on a little bit more about it than we expected,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And we do have another kind of deeper dive into
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: that other sport that you mentioned, Ben, But for now,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: let's just rattle through a few fun candice and trivia
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: on some other bizarre sports that are a little more nugget.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Like oh yeah, okay, fight sized, yes, yes, purposeful two parter.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I'm so excited that we're talking about this
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: on air finally. I feel like you and I have
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: mentioned this on previous shows, but to go down together,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: we learned. I think the same video went viral and
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: we both saw it or something, but we learned there
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: is another kind of equestrian sport called hobby horsing.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I'm pretending to ride a horse, Daddy, look at me,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Look at me, leap. It's basically just jumping over hurdles
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: carrying a stuffed animal.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: But they're they're you know, they ride it like a
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: broom or I guess a horse like the bluz Kashi.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: There are no limbs attached.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: There's a stick that goes betwixt the legs, so you
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: are sort of mounting something. Yeah.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's riding a hobby horse, which I don't
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: think is our hobby horse is still a popular toy.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: I would say not popular. They are more of the
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: vintage variety. You think about them as like the kind
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: of president of kid in the eighteen hundreds would get
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: like Tiddley Winks or something. I can't remember when Tittley
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Winks came around. Man, don't malign Tittley Winks. Tittley Wings
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: at the precursor to POGs, remembers. Yeah. Sure, yeah, I'm
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: still bullish on POGs. Heavily invested, heavily invested.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: This sounds like a sketch you would see it.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I think you should leave to getting out of crypto
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: and putting everything into POGs baby.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Right, so we are describing this accurately. Hobby horsing involves
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: riding the imaginary horse over obstacles.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Do you have to bang coconuts together? While you're doing
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: you had somebody following behind you, perhaps your vale.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess we shouldn't detegrate it too hard. We're
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: outsiders from that culture, but we can't say it does
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: take physical prowess.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: For sure, but it is more just like basically hurdles,
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Like it's sort of a triathl a track and field
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: thing whilst clutching this weird toy between your legs. And
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: I will say, you know, we're mocking in a little bit.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: But if you watch the video that Ben you linked to,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: everyone's kind of smiling and laughing in the audience, it
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: does appear that there is a wink wink knowingness to
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: how goofy this whole thing comes off.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's wholesome. You see it in Scandinavia. Right,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: Nobody is being hateful, and I'm glad we're pointing out
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: that we're not necessarily disparaging the sport. We get why,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: we get why it's a grin worthy thing, but let's
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: also be honest. A lot of us listening tonight could
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: not do the same obstacle course as the hobby horsers.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: It's tough. Is that the right word? Hobby horsers? Hobby
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: horse Yeah, hobby equestrians. You know what I don't now.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: I think a questrian requires a live animal. I don't
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: think we should reserve that term for sentient beings. There's
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: a line.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: You and I have been to England at some point,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: but we've never gone as a group. Have you ever
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: heard of this next thing? I'm on the fence about
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: whether this should be a sport, and i'd love our
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: sport expert maxed way into after you explain what this is.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Cover your shins, boys, shin kicking. That's what it is.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: It's exactly what it sounds like. Started in the seventeenth
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: century in England. Simply involves two grown men kicking each
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: other in the shins until one of them falls to
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: the ground in pain.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Is it like something that started at a bar? The
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: way the Guinness Book of World Records?
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Have you guys heard the controversy around this, these professional
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: slap fighting events. Yes, people are getting like brain bleeds
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: and stuff. I mean it is gnarly. Have you ever
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: seen this? Guys are ridiculous historians out there as well.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: It is a uf the Esque kind of sport that's
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: covered in that same way, with that same level of
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: extreme intensity, where there are two opponents face off against
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: each other and open handedly slap each other in the
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: face on the face with an open palm until one
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: of them falls out. So I would say shin kicking.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: Got it? You ever been ever? They call it barking
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: your shins. Yes, it hurts.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: It's because the bone is so close to the skids.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. This would suck. What psychotic Sato Massac
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: has came up with this nonsense? You know how people get?
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: They suck? People suck. I don't know.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I'm bullish on people. I see them as the POGs
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: of evolution.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I'm taking all my crypto and investing in people. Right.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: I think they already tried that. I think it got canceled.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: So okay, So uh, there were there were probably the
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: history is unclear, but there were probably a couple of
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: guys who got into clog fighting or purring as it's called.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Uh sometimes, yeah, I have a pr off.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: There was probably some guy who barked his shin as
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: you say, and some other dude was like, oh, you
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: got weak shins, and he said.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: I don't have weak shins. I guess you. You go
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: the week sheds. I'll prove it kicking shds. You get
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: saw now, yeah I would Australia there. Sorry, the next thing,
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: you know, it's a shin kicker off. You know, it's
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: just back and forth. It never ends when the violent
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: guy comes up and watches.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so we have to go to Max. Max
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: is shin kicking a sport? Or should it be considered such?
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Is it even cool?
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: So all I'm thinking about is the movie Dodgeball, which
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: is an all time banger.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: It's a fun movie.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Most of his age fine, some of it has aged poorly.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Say, but those South Park guys were always equal opportunity offenders,
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: so I bet you it's within their wheelhouse. But maybe
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: is it worse.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: There's some stuff that's bad and there's just this one
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: particular line which it's like, oh my god, that was
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: not fine when they said that, and it's so much
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: worse now. Anyways, to digress, I mean that movie is
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: just a hilarious, NonStop amount of ridiculousness. And the best
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: thing is, like the best joke of all time is
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: ESPN The O Show. It was like ESPN eight where
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: played all the obscure stuff and it's a super cut
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: of stuff beforehand. And one of those sports they show
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: that's on the show is two dudes just whipping each other.
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: And that's what this feels like. So yeah, it's ESPN
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: The Show level stuff. So yeah, it's a sport. Nascar
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: is a sport, Poker's a sport. We can call shin
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: kicking a sport, all right, Okay, that's the word would
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: probably argue. It's not around on a professional level.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: I am so glad you asked, because in twenty twenty four,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: shin Kicking the World shin Kicking Championships returned to the
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Cotswold Olympics spelled O L I M P I c K.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: We have Olympics at home, kids, right, So it's pretty brutal.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: It reminds me of the key and Peel slaphand. Yeah
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: ye sketch. So this is this is pretty insane. These
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: people are hurting their legs. If you are they allowed
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: to wear shin guards, surely not. I think at some
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: point there was straw padding. Yeah, you have to wear
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: soft shoes now. People used to wear steel toed boots
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: which probably broke some legs, and you have to stuff
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: the legs of your trousers with straw.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: So it's sort of meant to be a throwback the
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: old timey, sort of traditional type sports, right it would
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: seem if they're employing woolens and straw.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: You know, there's so many rules, right, Like you you
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: obviously can't hit someone in the face. You have to
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: just hit their shins, and I imagine you have to
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: just because it's in the name. You can only kick
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: their shins.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: And then then of course there's a sister sport, ass
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: kicking right right as you know, you got some built
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: in padding there, or you can just shove a phone
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: book down your pantaloons. Yeah, we've all been there. We
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: also haven't been to. Oh.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I think it was Halloween being on our minds recently
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: that because we are spoiler, this is coming out after Halloween,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: but we're recording it on October thirty first. Oh, yeah, yes,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: giants pumpkin kayaking.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: Okay, see I didn't look into this one yet, so
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go ahead. Is it literally a giant
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: pumpkin that has hollowed out and turned into a sea
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: faring vessel? I? Oh, water resistant vessel? Oh? I see.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a recent one since nineteen ninety nine
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: in Windsor, Nova, Scotia, people get giant pumpkins and they
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: joined the Windsor Pumpkin Regatta. And this is more, This
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: is more like British baking show, you know what I mean.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: They're all really nice and kind to each other and
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: help each other out when they're punkins spring a leak.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're they're having a ball, you know what I mean.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: They're not throwing around a dead carcass.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: They're not kicking. They're doing the pumpkin version of shin kicking.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: It's it's a wholesome one.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: And I think maybe that's where we end, unless you
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: want to mention one more pumpkin sport, which will be
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: very familiar to longtime fans of all our shows.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: You mean punkin chunkin? I do, yeah, punkin chugging. Yes, yes,
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I only heard about this recently, and I didn't even
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: really bother following up on what it was. I just
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: heard there's punkin Chunking going on. I'm like, that seems
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: delightfully seasonal. I don't think I know, is it literally?
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Just like? Is it like? What's that game Cornhole? But
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: with pumpkins? Well? Have you ever thought I should build
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: a trebuche only every day when I wake up in
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: the morning. Then that's what keeps you going, right, do I?
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: And the fact that I never do it is the
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: only thing that keeps me going. I'm aspiring to it.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Once I accomplish it, my work is done. So punkin
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Chunkin is this idea? Yeah, you don't need a you
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: don't need a tribute necessarily. It's chucking though, it's not chunking,
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: it's it's chucking.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And the idea is creating your own device, a catapult,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: a slingshot, a tribute to shoot or chuck a pumpkin
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: as far as you can. And way back in the day,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: too many years ago now, we were owned by a
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: company called Discovery, and Discovery.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: They're having a bit of trouble these days.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they had a show called punkin Chunkin. I
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: think we can say this now enough time has passed.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Every podcast that was around at the time had to
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: do an episode about punkin Chunkin.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: That must have been where I heard about it for
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: the first time. Pumpkin chucking chucking. Yeah, but like you know,
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: colloquially they do sometimes refer to it as punkin junkin.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: So but then, you know, this reminds me of It's
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: almost like the Pinewood Derby, you know where it is.
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: It's a technological challenge. I guess it showcases the pumpkins,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: and you probably want a big fatty that splats real nice.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: But basically you're being judged on your ability to engineer
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: a thing that throws another thing as far as possible,
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: which is engineering. Did you ever do Pinewood Derby? I did,
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: I did, and I don't think I did very well.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: And all I remember from those days is like I
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: can't remember. Maybe you can answer this, is it illegal
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: to put coins to put weights? Well, because I know
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: people did it and I may have done it. But
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: now thinking back on and I'm like asking myself, was
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: that against the regulations? Well, it's kind of like are
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: you playing Muzkashi in Kyrghistan or in Kazakhstan. You know,
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: this was in Georgia, Oka the state. Just to be.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Uh, it's a because it's a cub Scout thing, right,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: it was a cub Scout thing.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: So when I was playing this, I knew that some
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: places would let you do weight and then some other
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: places would say no, it is entirely on how you
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: whittle the block. Yeah.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: It does say here in Scout Life magazine that you
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: can also use fishing weights or coins to additional weight too, Okay,
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: so I hear that's the official it's a dot org ben,
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: it's a dot org okay, hot org. It's gotta be legit. Yeah,
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: it'll just give those to anybody. You gotta be an org.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: The world record for pumpkin chucking stands at uh I
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: think five thousand, five hundred and forty five zero point
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: four to three feet. So for the rest of the world,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: for everybody, is that Yeah, everybody outside of the US
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: and Namibia. I think that's one thousand and six one
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: hundred and ninety and a quarter meters.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: And that's hot takeaway, hot take from you here. What's
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: your perspective, what's your opinion on the metric system for
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: it or against it? Oh? For it? Yes? What are we?
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: What are we on about here in America? I don't
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: get it. It doesn't make sense.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: Well yards in football, you know about the point though,
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: there's no rhyme or reason to it.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: We just sort of use it as I don't know.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: We should make up our own thing at this point,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: Noel notches. There you go, Ben bounds, Matt Max. We
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: got to give max one max.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Well, a max could be a weight. It's like a stone,
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: you know, one max, I weigh fifteen max.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: Max is nodding in approval. I know the weather's on
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: top of you.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: Did you ever play Pinewood Derby or participated?
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: God, so many? I think until recently my dad had
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: a Pinewood Derby trail in his attic. We yeah, no,
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: we were big, big proponents of it. But yeah, you
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: could put weight on it, but it had to weigh
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: a specific weight. And then I think, like, you know,
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: they roll it on the track thing, make sure it
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: had the correct clearance clearance exactly.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I remember, do you using quarters and hot glue?
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: But guys, do you think there's like anybody that has
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: like some sort of like secret like Dad's club or
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: whatever parents club where they bet on the Pinewood Derby.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: If there's a thing be it, yes, and I imagine
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: we didn't talk about it. It probably could be an episode.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: You know what we should do it? History of betting? Yeah,
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: a history of gambling. How have we not done? That's amazing.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: We have come up with literally three rock solid ideas.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I bet sports betting on Buskashi is a thing.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: Oh you bet you bet? Yeah? All right, quid, I'll
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: bet you a quid. I'll bet you one nol knuckle
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: one Max.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: All right, all right, all right, with that we have
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: we have some hot action, as they say on the strip.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: So we are going to call it a day. Thank
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: you so much for tuning in, folks. We cannot wait
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: to explore more. Let's say, ridiculous lesser known sports.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: You gotta change the name of the show. Yeah, right,
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: slightly unusual history. There we go.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Oh geez, well, big big thanks to our super producer,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: our resident sporto, mister Max Williams. Big big thanks to
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: our number one Buskashi carcass, Jonathan Strickland aka the Quister.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: Indeed huge thanks to Christopher Hasiotis and he's Jeff Coates
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: here in spirit, Alex Williams, who composed our theme, and
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: also to AJ Bahamas Jacobs The Puzzler.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, who just won an award by Yeah it's like
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: the potties for his podcast The Puzzler, you can check
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: out you can check out various episodes where we're hanging
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: with Aj just the nicest guy and what a sacker
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: jack rider and big big thanks of course, as well
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: to Rachel Big Spinach, Lance the Gay Bluesier, to our
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: pals at Ridiculous Crime and all the rude dudes over there.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: One odd sport we didn't put in toe wrestling?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: Do you know that's the thing. Yeah, I don't know, man,
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: that's a little inappropriate for that feels like something a
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: creep made up, right exactly. It's like this is an
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: excuse to get free feed picks. Yeah, don't get Tarantino. Folks.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next time, folks.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.