Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do some narcissists act JUST LIKE YOU?
Transcript
- 0:00So why do some narcissists act just like you in the beginning
- 0:05of the relationship if you're new here?
- 0:06My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:09narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:11of The Narcissist Code. Boom.
- 0:29Welcome back, welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:31Y'all we hype. We hype.
- 0:32We hype, We hype. Tonight is the night I'm
- 0:35releasing my very first course, understanding the seven stages
- 0:39of a narcissistic relationship. Y'all the link is going to be
- 0:43coming out here pretty soon. Join my newsletter to get up to
- 0:46the keep up to date On the link is in the description of every
- 0:48video and podcast I do. But yes yes yes, yes, y'all.
- 0:53Yes. Welcome, welcome, welcome,
- 0:56welcome. So think about this.
- 0:57Think about this space right here.
- 0:58Y'all. In the beginning of a
- 1:01relationship with a narcissistic person, you very rarely meet the
- 1:06real version of them. Now, I've done videos on this
- 1:09before, but some narcissists will absolutely will actually be
- 1:13honest with you upfront about who they are, what they're going
- 1:17to do, what they have done in the past, right?
- 1:19There are some narcissists out there that will absolutely do
- 1:22that. I'm not saying all of them, but
- 1:25some narcissists will give you a hey, we'll give you kind of like
- 1:28the the warning signs. They'll I did this the other
- 1:32day. But like, they'll put, like, the
- 1:34first date. They'll use the red flag as
- 1:36like, a handkerchief. Hey, you have a snotty nose.
- 1:40Here. Blow into this right here.
- 1:41I'll. I got, I have.
- 1:43I have plenty more where this came from.
- 1:45You know, put it in a pocket. Some of them will.
- 1:50Some of them will absolutely give you the red flag in the
- 1:53beginning, you know what I mean? But there are a lot of
- 1:56narcissistic people who lack identity.
- 1:59They really don't care about themselves internally.
- 2:01There's a way deeper video. I can get into that later about
- 2:05them not caring about themselves, but they don't like
- 2:07who they are internally. I'm one of them.
- 2:09I really don't like who I am internally, You know what I
- 2:12mean? I might, I might express that
- 2:14externally, but internally I don't really like who I am,
- 2:18right? So there's a a piece of me that
- 2:20messes with me and it just I I if I don't like who I am, how
- 2:25could you ever like me? You know?
- 2:28And that's the mindset that a lot of narcissistic people face.
- 2:30It's like if I don't like me, there is no way that you will.
- 2:35There's no way that you will like the real version of me
- 2:39because I don't even like me. I don't even think I'm likable.
- 2:42So you going to be like you going to like me.
- 2:44I don't believe that, you know? So there's a lot of narcissistic
- 2:47people out there who in real like, realistically don't think
- 2:51that like you will like them for who they really are.
- 2:53So they put the mirror up to you.
- 2:56They study you, they analyze you.
- 2:58They become who they feel like they need to be in order to get
- 3:02you to fall for them. So they in in the beginning,
- 3:05they might absolutely act like you.
- 3:09They'll act just like you. They'll y'all have this.
- 3:11All of a sudden y'all have the same weird quirky interest.
- 3:16Like you might like this obscure band from the middle in the
- 3:19middle of nowhere, an obscure band from the the the
- 3:23Appalachian Mountain Mountains called the Jim Carrey.
- 3:29Jim the Jim Carrey in Dumb and Numbers.
- 3:31That's the name of the band. All of a sudden they they like
- 3:34them too. The Jim Carrey and Dumb and
- 3:37Dumbers. Wow, I love that band.
- 3:39They they Oh my goodness. And if you have this in your
- 3:43dating profile, they might have actually looked them up.
- 3:46They might have actually already looked them up.
- 3:48If you if y'all have talked before, you let them know your
- 3:50favorite band. They've already studied you and
- 3:52looked them up and might absolutely know some songs by
- 3:55them. So you give them the blueprint
- 3:58to become you. That's why I just tell people in
- 4:02the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, a lot of
- 4:05y'all fall in love with a version of yourself.
- 4:09They are mirroring you. So many of y'all keep thinking
- 4:12that you're not worthy of love. They, the narcissistic person
- 4:15has somehow convinced you not somehow they manipulate you.
- 4:18I I I get it. They've convinced you that
- 4:20you're not worthy of love. That nobody else will want you.
- 4:22Nobody else can love you like I can love you, right?
- 4:25But they they they took on your personality, the
- 4:28characteristics, so you are lovable.
- 4:31You fell in love with your version of yourself, so you love
- 4:33you so self. Love is the best love.
- 4:35You love your version. You love a version of yourself
- 4:36that you see reflected back to you.
- 4:38So you are worthy of love. They think so lowly of
- 4:41themselves that they started to act like you.
- 4:44They took on your personality characteristics.
- 4:45They faked the funk to get to you.
- 4:48So you are worthy of love. They're showing you that you're
- 4:51worthy of love by mirroring you, by picking up your traits,
- 4:54because they don't feel like they are enough.
- 4:56So they picking up your traits. So think about.
- 4:59Right. So think about it from that
- 5:00angle right there. They know that you are such a
- 5:04good person or energetic person. Whatever you have going for you.
- 5:07They know it. So much so that they act like
- 5:10you because they know like, damn, you're better than me.
- 5:14I want you to fall for me so I can take I saw that you act like
- 5:17you. I pick up your mannerisms.
- 5:19I do this, I do that. I mirror you.
- 5:22I start saying I try to try to finish each each other's
- 5:25sandwiches. That's what I was going to say.
- 5:27You see what I'm saying? They mirror you.
- 5:30Hans of the Southern Isles mirrored Anna in Frozen because
- 5:35he didn't like himself. He's like my brothers.
- 5:37I'm the youngest of 15 brothers. They pretended that I was
- 5:40invisible. They didn't like me, so I didn't
- 5:42like me. So he started to act like her.
- 5:45Kind of goofy, you know, man, just vulnerable.
- 5:46He was like, oh, then at the end he showed his true colours.
- 5:50At the end of Frozen, Hans showed his true colours.
- 5:54Hans kissed me. I need a true loves kisses with
- 5:57all my heart. Hans is like new and OK for
- 6:04love. You then he told her.
- 6:06He told her his sinister ass plan.
- 6:09They know that you are a good person.
- 6:11They know that you have a good heart.
- 6:12They know that you are lovable. So much so that they start to
- 6:15act like you. Even they saw that they start to
- 6:18act like you sometimes even within your own friend group.
- 6:21They try to replace you in your friend group by pretending to be
- 6:24you, a different version of you, and try to isolate you out out
- 6:28of the friendship, right? They try to get you away from
- 6:31your your own friend circle. You see this?
- 6:34This is not true for everybody, but this is true for a lot of
- 6:35people out here in this situation.
- 6:36You know, they try to isolate you away from your friends and
- 6:38they start becoming friends with your friends.
- 6:41They take over your life. It's just like the impostor.
- 6:46They become an imposter. They might as well take a mask
- 6:49of your body in your face and wear like a damn skin suit.
- 6:52Like who's what's your boy? Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw.
- 6:56Texas Chainsaw Basket. That's what they're doing.
- 6:59They're just acting like you. They're trying to become you
- 7:01because you are lovable. Why do they act like you?
- 7:04Because you are lovable. You said I flipped the topic of
- 7:08this video and made it into some self love, didn't I?
- 7:10You like leave how you do that. How you do How you leave how you
- 7:12do that. Dude, I know.
- 7:15What y'all want to hear it? No, I'm joking.
- 7:16But that's the thing about that, right?
- 7:19That's the thing right there. You are lovable.
- 7:23They know it. They know it.
- 7:25Narcissistic people, don't they. They don't hunt people that are
- 7:29not worthy. You know what I'm saying?
- 7:32They don't hunt people that just sometimes they like challenges.
- 7:35They see who you are. They mirror.
- 7:36Like sometimes they like say again the same things that they
- 7:40love about you In the beginning they will turn around and hate
- 7:42you for. So even as even the traits that
- 7:45they start to mirror or the hobbies or habits that they
- 7:48start to mirror and pick up from you, they will hate you for
- 7:51those later on. They will resent you for those
- 7:54same exact things later on. And I know it sounds backwards,
- 7:57I know it sounds confusing because sometimes it can be.
- 8:00But they will hate you for the exact same things that they tell
- 8:02you that that they love you for. The things that they fell in
- 8:04love with you for they turn around and hate later on.
- 8:08I can't believe this happening. Y'all you are strong.
- 8:10You deserve it. Go, go, go get the life that you
- 8:12deserve. You can't you won't live the
- 8:13life that you deserve. Being with somebody who acts
- 8:16like you. Yeah.
- 8:16You felt you are so lovable that you fell in love with a a
- 8:18different version of yourself. You can like you can remove
- 8:21that. You can remove the imposter from
- 8:22your life. I know sometimes they get
- 8:25ingrained in your life and then once they have you feel like
- 8:28they have you trapped. That's when they take the you
- 8:30mask off. So once they feel like they have
- 8:31you trapped or E meshed in this immersed in this relationship,
- 8:34that's when they take the you mask off the wow you mask they
- 8:38take it off and become who they really are.
- 8:39It's like, hey, you don't look like it anymore.
- 8:41You don't you don't have the hey, I'm going to go see the
- 8:45guess who's playing tonight. The Jim Carrey's from Dumb and
- 8:47Dumber. They're in town.
- 8:48Oh, I hate that band. Wait what?
- 8:50I thought you loved them. You you said your favorite song
- 8:52was that I oh I lied to you. I hate that band.
- 8:55Like, who the hell? What kind of name is that The
- 8:57Jim Carrey's from Dumb and Dumbers.
- 8:58It's it's a band of. It's it's a band of women.
- 9:02The Jim Carrey's like, this doesn't make sense.
- 9:05Like what does it make sense at all?
- 9:06You see what I'm saying? They don't really like it.
- 9:10They don't really like that. But some of the some of the
- 9:12stuff they will keep, yeah. Some of the some of the traits
- 9:13of things like they will, they will quick, real quick.
- 9:16They real. Some of the things they real, I
- 9:20can't get that straight today. Some of the things they will
- 9:25keep because it they it benefits them in some way, shape or form.
- 9:30It allows them to manipulate the next person.
- 9:32Like I said, they pick up personality characteristics and
- 9:34traits that they admire in other people, like even me, like I I,
- 9:38you know, in my own life what I what I was before therapy, well,
- 9:44I still kind of am now. I'm getting more and I'm
- 9:45becoming more of who I'm supposed to be right now.
- 9:48What I was before therapy, who I was before therapy, I was a
- 9:51person. That who I was before therapy, I
- 9:55was a person that just took on the personality characteristics
- 9:59and the traits of other people that I that I either liked or I
- 10:03was jealous of. So I was just an accumulation of
- 10:06those personality characteristics and traits and
- 10:08other people that I saw and I liked and I admired.
- 10:11So I'm taking it not only not to be with them, like not even my
- 10:13my partners, Sometimes it can be my friends or people around me.
- 10:17I'm taking their personality characteristics and traits.
- 10:19I'm acting like other people. I would be around.
- 10:22I would want to be around other people to get to act like them
- 10:26so I can kind of mirror them. So narcissists just don't mirror
- 10:29one person. They walk around holding up a
- 10:31mirror to other people, reflecting back what they think
- 10:34they they reflect back where they think other people want to
- 10:37see. And the people closer to that
- 10:39narcissistic person typically find out who they really, really
- 10:42are. They are.
- 10:42You might be the only person that feels like you actually
- 10:45know the narcissist. Like, I'm the only person I feel
- 10:47like that. I know this person.
- 10:49Like I feel like nobody else knows you but me.
- 10:51And that's how it goes sometimes.
- 10:52You might absolutely be the only person who really, truly knows
- 10:56who the narcissistic person is. And that can damn be a day out.
- 10:59Just being realistic, That can be a damn burden that can be
- 11:02extremely burdensome to people around.
- 11:04Like to to people in this situation, they can be extremely
- 11:07they can become an extreme burden to people right there
- 11:09because you feel like you're the only person that knows him.
- 11:12I'm the only person that knows this person or her.
- 11:14You know them. You know what I mean?
- 11:17Anyways, y'all make sure you hop on the newsletter.
- 11:19The course is coming out understanding the seven stages
- 11:22of a toxic narcissistic relationship.
- 11:24It's going to be, yeah, people. I've showed it to a couple of
- 11:28people. They're like you said, a lot of
- 11:30stuff in this course that I did not know.
- 11:33You said a lot of stuff in this course that I did not know.
- 11:35Lee. So kudos to you.
- 11:37Anyways, y'all see y'all later. Make sure you subscribe to this
- 11:39channel. Mental illness is out peace.
- 11:42Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:44You are a Mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
- 11:47for being here. If you haven't already, make
- 11:49sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
- 11:51watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
- 11:53There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
- 11:56kids. But remember, it's not your
- 11:58fault on Amazon, so check that out.
- 12:01Thank you. I will see you in the next
- 12:02video. Peace.