Latest / Dear Son, / The Hidden Costs of Being Right | Parental Structure vs Parental Empathy | Ep 150 | The Dear Son, Show
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_01]: All the size point that you meet yes, because I take out because I want about one more thing from uh
- 0:10[SPEAKER_01]: for the post.
- 0:11[SPEAKER_01]: Next week will be back.
- 0:13[SPEAKER_01]: No, no.
- 0:14[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, boom, boom.
- 0:15[SPEAKER_00]: And we live.
- 0:17[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the dear song and show what we have real life, meaningful conversations.
- 0:21[SPEAKER_00]: Tell young boys and men, realize now what we wish we knew then.
- 0:26[SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of your host, Jay Black.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_00]: DJs are the host.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_00]: DJs are the host.
- 0:28[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:28[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:29[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:29[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:29[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:30[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:30[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:31[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:31[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:32[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:32[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:33[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:34[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:35[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:35[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:35[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:36[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:36[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:37[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:37[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:37[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:38[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:38[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:39[SPEAKER_01]: DJs are the host.
- 0:39[UNKNOWN]: DJs are
- 0:40[SPEAKER_01]: Despite all of them, would it took to get to this point?
- 0:42[SPEAKER_00]: Last ten minutes.
- 0:43[SPEAKER_01]: Last ten minutes.
- 0:44[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you'll know.
- 0:46[SPEAKER_01]: Can't be rolled.
- 0:46[SPEAKER_01]: You might see it somewhere.
- 0:48[SPEAKER_00]: For the one fifty.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_00]: One fifty.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_00]: Top of the top.
- 0:51[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say a like share and subscribe.
- 0:53[SPEAKER_00]: That part out the way early.
- 0:54[SPEAKER_00]: And I'd like to go ahead and look at chocolate princess.
- 0:57[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 0:59[SPEAKER_00]: And the good parent can deal some from the author himself.
- 1:02[SPEAKER_01]: Let's join us a co-publishing.
- 1:04[SPEAKER_01]: From John's co-publishing, uh, chocolate princess volume one, my wife's book, for your young scholars of color, your young ladies five to fifteen, or have your grandmother read it to your grandbaby, or your grandbaby read it to your grandmode, have it at workout?
- 1:17[SPEAKER_00]: Good great.
- 1:18[SPEAKER_01]: Dear son, it's one of the light prompts I facilitate.
- 1:21[SPEAKER_01]: Effective parents and again, thank you for the purchase says, um, if you remember and you see this before, oh, I shouldn't do that.
- 1:29[SPEAKER_01]: How could we do?
- 1:31[SPEAKER_01]: First three members they hit me up.
- 1:32[SPEAKER_01]: We'll do that way.
- 1:33[SPEAKER_01]: So Madeline said first three members they hit me up in the comments.
- 1:38[SPEAKER_01]: I will send you a book on the free.
- 1:40[SPEAKER_01]: We had a donor shout out to my sister who just turned fifty one.
- 1:45[SPEAKER_01]: Not that she went her age out there.
- 1:48[SPEAKER_01]: And last year she was fifty.
- 1:50[SPEAKER_01]: Last year she was fifteen.
- 1:50[SPEAKER_01]: She said something about it.
- 1:51[SPEAKER_01]: I mean it's only one way to go.
- 1:54[SPEAKER_00]: I'll see what it's the episode.
- 1:56[SPEAKER_01]: It's only one way to go.
- 1:59[SPEAKER_01]: One, five, zero, five, one, backwards.
- 2:01[SPEAKER_01]: It's fit to QC, fit to one.
- 2:03[SPEAKER_01]: Fit to one.
- 2:04[SPEAKER_01]: But not she shot out of my sister, CJ Tudu.
- 2:08[SPEAKER_01]: I still don't like calling her CJ.
- 2:09[SPEAKER_01]: That's her, that's her adult cool name.
- 2:11[SPEAKER_01]: CJ.
- 2:12[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's what I was talking with you.
- 2:14[SPEAKER_01]: I really play her friends out there.
- 2:16[SPEAKER_01]: I would do what you want.
- 2:17[SPEAKER_01]: The Goombie.
- 2:17[SPEAKER_01]: The Goombie.
- 2:18[SPEAKER_01]: Shout out to the Goombie.
- 2:19[SPEAKER_01]: That's what you're gonna do.
- 2:20[SPEAKER_01]: We out there.
- 2:22[SPEAKER_01]: One, two, one.
- 2:23[SPEAKER_01]: We running.
- 2:25[SPEAKER_01]: No, but she don't.
- 2:25[SPEAKER_01]: She donated a few books.
- 2:26[SPEAKER_01]: So again, first three members, leave a comment and leave a comment with your email address.
- 2:32[SPEAKER_01]: Cause some people last time I said it, a couple of people made a comment and then I responded to him trying to get the email address.
- 2:39[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 2:40[SPEAKER_01]: Crickets.
- 2:40[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 2:40[SPEAKER_01]: Um, luckily I found one of them on IG.
- 2:44[SPEAKER_01]: So to clear it up, first read members, leave a comment on this video.
- 2:50[SPEAKER_01]: Include your email address on the comment and say, send my bookbar.
- 2:54[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to take the only way.
- 2:55[SPEAKER_01]: How you feeling?
- 2:55[SPEAKER_01]: I'm feeling good, man.
- 2:58[SPEAKER_01]: rollercoaster day.
- 3:00[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 3:00[SPEAKER_00]: Shall we?
- 3:01[SPEAKER_01]: Shall we?
- 3:02[SPEAKER_01]: I heard about shows you kind of heard about mine.
- 3:04[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 3:04[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 3:05[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 3:05[SPEAKER_00]: I felt like a million bucks this morning.
- 3:07[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 3:08[SPEAKER_00]: I did, man.
- 3:09[SPEAKER_00]: I got some great news about school and dealing with school and I was excited.
- 3:14[SPEAKER_00]: And then somewhere along the line got busy had activity fair on the campus today.
- 3:20[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 3:20[SPEAKER_00]: So senior.
- 3:22[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, let's see it.
- 3:24[SPEAKER_00]: My senior year.
- 3:25[SPEAKER_00]: So all the organizations were out, uh, Greek non-greed, everybody was out.
- 3:30[SPEAKER_00]: So we had, you know, we had a, a spot set up represented.
- 3:34[SPEAKER_00]: So that went well.
- 3:35[SPEAKER_00]: And somewhere in the day, just kind of, I don't know, man, I, I had some time to myself and start thinking about a lot of things and sometimes as a great thing, sometimes it's not so great.
- 3:47[SPEAKER_00]: So some of the thoughts kind of,
- 3:50[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, man, like good punch.
- 3:52[SPEAKER_00]: Who else?
- 3:52[SPEAKER_00]: Perhaps they're needed, but sometimes it's not at a good time.
- 3:56[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 3:56[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I feel, I feel like I'm back on the top end of that roller coaster.
- 4:01[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 4:01[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 4:01[SPEAKER_00]: So I bought it, say, is there something we're going to lead to?
- 4:05[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 4:05[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
- 4:05[SPEAKER_00]: It's just, I don't know.
- 4:06[SPEAKER_00]: It's just, it came out of nowhere.
- 4:08[SPEAKER_00]: Not too often in my, yeah, not at the high end of the roller coaster.
- 4:13[SPEAKER_00]: So for this, sneak me like that, I got to see what that is and how I slipped into a little trench for the gacha couple hours.
- 4:19[SPEAKER_00]: I got to see what that's about.
- 4:20[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I did that, that's a offshoot because I could take that.
- 4:25[SPEAKER_01]: I could take that.
- 4:26[SPEAKER_01]: I think mine a little bit more frequent than yours.
- 4:30[SPEAKER_01]: And when I hit you, today and what even though a bad day, it was just like,
- 4:36[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
- 4:37[SPEAKER_01]: Another thing.
- 4:39[SPEAKER_01]: Another thing, um, got up this morning, took the kids to school.
- 4:45[SPEAKER_01]: They were late coming downstairs.
- 4:46[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't, they weren't late to school.
- 4:47[SPEAKER_01]: And that's another thing that I think they're, um, this obedience is what I'm gonna call it.
- 4:55[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
- 4:55[SPEAKER_01]: That children.
- 4:57[SPEAKER_01]: I want them downstairs at seven, twenty five.
- 5:01[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're not here at seven twenty five in my mind, the whole schedule is skating down here.
- 5:07[SPEAKER_01]: They'll have to be the school until one eight twenty five and the other actually eight forty.
- 5:13[SPEAKER_01]: But again, I found my sweet spot sliding in around eight o'clock seven eight o'clock wait.
- 5:17[SPEAKER_01]: I can get out one parking lot turned into the other park job more for school.
- 5:21[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and then I'm back home by eight thirty regardless of what my mid that to my madness is just flow with me.
- 5:27[SPEAKER_01]: Today they came downstairs at seven forty seven.
- 5:32[SPEAKER_01]: and I still got home at eight thirty.
- 5:34[SPEAKER_01]: So my whole, it, right.
- 5:37[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 5:38[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, so, the point is sometimes I stress things beyond necessary, trying to overparent.
- 5:46[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe that just became a thing.
- 5:47[SPEAKER_01]: You could talk about it.
- 5:49[SPEAKER_01]: But I put so much into things have to happen a certain way.
- 5:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 5:54[SPEAKER_01]: And no, literally nobody else in my house acts like that.
- 5:58[SPEAKER_01]: They all,
- 6:00[SPEAKER_01]: in money to a degree.
- 6:07[SPEAKER_01]: She got the spitting image of personality and characteristics.
- 6:12[SPEAKER_01]: Um, but literally nobody else, if something doesn't happen when you think it's gonna happen, it just happens at a different time.
- 6:21[SPEAKER_00]: It's gonna happen.
- 6:22[SPEAKER_00]: Stay tuned.
- 6:22[SPEAKER_01]: Kind of like you.
- 6:23[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 6:24[SPEAKER_01]: To agree.
- 6:25[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 6:25[SPEAKER_01]: Stay tuned.
- 6:26[SPEAKER_01]: This is gonna be fine.
- 6:27[SPEAKER_01]: This is gonna be fine.
- 6:27[SPEAKER_01]: Me is like, for whatever reason, I feel like I got to spend time in that.
- 6:32[SPEAKER_01]: I got to spend a little bit of space in that area or in that moment, chilling away.
- 6:39[SPEAKER_01]: And it don't help nothing.
- 6:41[SPEAKER_01]: And also, I was feeling like the day I got home, still got home at the same time.
- 6:45[SPEAKER_01]: But it's the deadline between discipline and overreaching.
- 6:52[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it is.
- 6:53[SPEAKER_01]: Like, hey, let's get on the schedule, life is, you know, life requires discipline.
- 6:57[SPEAKER_01]: But if they really got to school, when they supposed to get to school.
- 7:01[SPEAKER_01]: In here, did that drop my cane home?
- 7:04[SPEAKER_01]: I go upstairs in today room, which is a case study.
- 7:09[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, come on.
- 7:11[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I literally wouldn't dare to do that.
- 7:13[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, how are y'all comfortable living like this?
- 7:15[SPEAKER_01]: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
- 7:39[SPEAKER_01]: Let me grab a bite to eat.
- 7:41[SPEAKER_01]: Let me stop it, chillies.
- 7:43[SPEAKER_01]: I had a triple dip on my mind.
- 7:45[SPEAKER_01]: Come on.
- 7:45[SPEAKER_01]: But I went in there got a salad.
- 7:47[SPEAKER_01]: Went in there got a salad.
- 7:48[SPEAKER_01]: Went in there got a salad.
- 7:50[SPEAKER_01]: I'm leaving now.
- 7:51[SPEAKER_01]: My oldest pulling up with my granddaughter.
- 7:54[SPEAKER_00]: Say goodbye.
- 7:55[SPEAKER_01]: Same spot.
- 7:56[SPEAKER_01]: I'll walk it down.
- 7:57[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, you just ate?
- 7:57[SPEAKER_01]: I said, yeah, let's buy yourself here.
- 7:59[SPEAKER_01]: I'm about to eat by myself too.
- 8:00[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 8:02[SPEAKER_01]: I had been there for about forty-five minutes and my stomach was telling me go home.
- 8:07[SPEAKER_01]: Go home.
- 8:08[SPEAKER_01]: Something, something I had to thought to say, I should probably, this is an opportunity.
- 8:12[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 8:13[SPEAKER_01]: To spend some time.
- 8:14[SPEAKER_01]: Anyhow, I come home because my stomach, I'm there forty-five.
- 8:17[SPEAKER_01]: When your stomach say, go, go, you go.
- 8:19[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, she hits me like, hey, call won't start.
- 8:24[SPEAKER_01]: I said that that was that was that's why I was telling me to stay that and Well, I didn't go there first You know first I got a sock Pray for me people.
- 8:34[SPEAKER_01]: I'm this is my life doing the saying it But I was it.
- 8:38[SPEAKER_01]: I was like come on not another another another thing.
- 8:41[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I'm like it's about an hour before picking up eating an ELI That was about to cut my hair so we can record it every
- 8:53[SPEAKER_01]: Everything had a place in the day for me.
- 8:56[SPEAKER_01]: And that thing threw it off and I was like, Kease came home.
- 9:00[SPEAKER_01]: She wouldn't pick up the kids.
- 9:01[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to look at the car.
- 9:02[SPEAKER_01]: I think I know what it is.
- 9:03[SPEAKER_01]: We got a plan to get for the figure out what we do.
- 9:06[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, man.
- 9:07[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
- 9:07[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
- 9:08[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
- 9:08[SPEAKER_01]: That landed.
- 9:09[SPEAKER_01]: If this is the episode.
- 9:10[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no.
- 9:10[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, oh, what?
- 9:11[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we, no, no, because I can go.
- 9:14[SPEAKER_00]: I got a nice little turn.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_00]: Let's hit it.
- 9:16[SPEAKER_00]: Because for some some weird reason, man, uh, some people are glad and funnish, man.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_00]: Who?
- 9:22[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, no, young, we, it's like this to precursor.
- 9:25[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 9:26[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, you know, I'm in rare form this far to the year from.
- 9:31[SPEAKER_00]: But it from August to about December.
- 9:34[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
- 9:34[SPEAKER_00]: We got that.
- 9:35[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's good.
- 9:36[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
- 9:40[SPEAKER_00]: I know we don't drink a child of a relic.
- 9:42[SPEAKER_00]: I know.
- 9:45[SPEAKER_00]: Was that a Dallas cowboy championship last from eighty-two?
- 9:48[SPEAKER_00]: Can I get a museum?
- 9:49[SPEAKER_01]: Was it the eighties?
- 9:54[SPEAKER_00]: getting a museum said that's that's the same way ready to what I'm about to say.
- 9:57[SPEAKER_00]: Let's get to it's football season.
- 9:59[SPEAKER_00]: So hello and I'm sick of it.
- 10:01[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, let me tell you I want to see go because this episode one fifty.
- 10:05[SPEAKER_00]: We don't have a thing.
- 10:07[SPEAKER_00]: We just kicking it take this out.
- 10:10[SPEAKER_00]: We free ball.
- 10:11[SPEAKER_00]: So here we are.
- 10:15[SPEAKER_00]: I'm tired of.
- 10:17[SPEAKER_00]: These teams fans who just because you're little team not doing so well.
- 10:23[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want the rest of us Supporting these successful teams to have conversations about the sport.
- 10:28[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not doing this.
- 10:30[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna talk about the Tampa Bay book and it is every chance.
- 10:32[SPEAKER_00]: I get I don't just fine.
- 10:33[SPEAKER_01]: I don't you use that usually for you.
- 10:36[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
- 10:37[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
- 10:37[SPEAKER_01]: I think I say things fans.
- 10:39[SPEAKER_00]: I think I believe
- 10:40[SPEAKER_00]: I'm from Louisiana, so my whole family are science fans.
- 10:44[SPEAKER_00]: How old are you?
- 10:44[SPEAKER_00]: How old are you?
- 10:45[SPEAKER_00]: My wife's family.
- 10:46[SPEAKER_00]: We could do this.
- 10:47[SPEAKER_00]: Crochet Shop?
- 10:48[SPEAKER_00]: No, yeah.
- 10:49[SPEAKER_00]: Crochet Shop.
- 10:49[SPEAKER_00]: Louisiana, that's what we do with Louisiana.
- 10:51[SPEAKER_01]: Nobody else in Louisiana said they did.
- 10:52[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, just New Orleans and we had to go to the discussion about them people making.
- 10:57[SPEAKER_00]: You three, three, seven?
- 10:58[SPEAKER_00]: I was three, four, three, one, eight.
- 11:00[SPEAKER_00]: Three, one, eight.
- 11:00[SPEAKER_00]: Top of the boot.
- 11:01[SPEAKER_01]: Things have fewer than this year.
- 11:02[SPEAKER_00]: No side of Louisiana, and the part that you have to go through us to get there, everybody else.
- 11:07[SPEAKER_00]: And we, you know,
- 11:09[SPEAKER_00]: We forgot if we let you home through.
- 11:11[SPEAKER_00]: However, however, I got this guy, man, keep talking to me.
- 11:15[SPEAKER_00]: But again, I first out of high school, I was a student at Southern University, Ben Rouge, Louisiana, South Louisiana.
- 11:22[SPEAKER_00]: And this is all guy.
- 11:26[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, that too.
- 11:28[SPEAKER_00]: Let me get you the back story on this.
- 11:30[SPEAKER_01]: That, that, that ex-heil Brent won about you because I don't know you.
- 11:33[SPEAKER_01]: I was just paying myself on the back because I know it's life.
- 11:38[SPEAKER_00]: I hit Travis the other episode.
- 11:39[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 11:40[SPEAKER_00]: The crazy party is Brent went to Southern.
- 11:43[SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, I'm going out of the way.
- 11:44[SPEAKER_00]: You don't, they don't seem like they're from your interaction.
- 11:46[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
- 11:47[SPEAKER_00]: Brent went to Southern.
- 11:49[SPEAKER_00]: Couldn't cut it, you know.
- 11:52[SPEAKER_00]: You know.
- 11:53[SPEAKER_00]: So guess what he did.
- 11:55[SPEAKER_00]: He bumped it down a night and went to Grand the Universe, Grand the State Universe, whatever it comes here, just you, and this claim of people.
- 12:03[SPEAKER_00]: It's family robbery.
- 12:04[SPEAKER_00]: When I talk about Grandland and Southern, I'm not bashing, HBCUs, I love HBCUs to my hard and soul, to my hard and soul.
- 12:13[SPEAKER_00]: But during the buy you classic,
- 12:17[SPEAKER_00]: There's a ritual we call hate week.
- 12:20[SPEAKER_00]: The buy you classic is a game.
- 12:24[SPEAKER_00]: If you want to call it that between Southern University and Grandness State University.
- 12:30[SPEAKER_00]: A team from the North Side of Louisiana versus a team from the South Side of Louisiana.
- 12:35[SPEAKER_00]: So between the state, there's family at both schools.
- 12:41[SPEAKER_00]: The same family will have members at Grandland and they'll have members at Southern.
- 12:46[SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
- 12:47[SPEAKER_00]: Like me, I'm from Shreveport.
- 12:49[SPEAKER_00]: It's assumed I would go to the north of Louisiana School.
- 12:53[SPEAKER_03]: Hmm.
- 12:54[SPEAKER_00]: There's members of my family, Mongol, U.T., me, some others we went south.
- 12:59[SPEAKER_00]: There's some of our southern family that came north and went to Grandland.
- 13:03[SPEAKER_02]: Hmm.
- 13:04[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why you would do that, but it's not my thing to figure out.
- 13:07[SPEAKER_00]: So I say this, Brent went to this guy went to Southern University.
- 13:12[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't work out for him.
- 13:15[SPEAKER_00]: He stepped down and I just went to granted.
- 13:16[SPEAKER_00]: It was a little easier for him.
- 13:18[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how.
- 13:18[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying anything about that school's curricula or the man's on their students.
- 13:25[SPEAKER_00]: However, however, hey week, they go down.
- 13:34[SPEAKER_00]: Be careful and find yourself into the rivalry though, because we'll bite each other's heads out, but then when the other's thought's jumping in, we put that on pause and get you back.
- 13:44[SPEAKER_00]: I said, like, get your quantity.
- 13:46[SPEAKER_00]: If we carry on.
- 13:47[SPEAKER_00]: So I say that to say, this fellow challenged me this year to a special edition of hate week.
- 13:53[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we throw memes back and forth, but I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I'm going to cook this brother's duck this year.
- 13:58[SPEAKER_00]: When is it?
- 14:00[SPEAKER_00]: It's always the week of Thanksgiving every year.
- 14:02[SPEAKER_00]: Every year you go Thanksgiving this Thursday and everybody hit the road Friday morning.
- 14:07[SPEAKER_00]: Catch them because
- 14:09[SPEAKER_00]: the Battle of the Bands, the Greek show, everything.
- 14:13[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 14:14[SPEAKER_00]: It's a fool all out in the waters.
- 14:16[SPEAKER_00]: It's in the waters every year.
- 14:18[SPEAKER_00]: They have the talent show, the Greek show, Battle of the Bands, and then the following day is the game.
- 14:25[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 14:26[SPEAKER_00]: We got that shit.
- 14:27[SPEAKER_00]: We got that shit.
- 14:28[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of time.
- 14:29[SPEAKER_00]: So let's just stay tuned out there and I just want to pop that one out because there's a lot of people going to see old James this year.
- 14:35[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, old James going to be loose this year.
- 14:37[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
- 14:37[SPEAKER_00]: They use a little quiet last.
- 14:39[SPEAKER_00]: I know quiet last year.
- 14:40[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I was joining my organization for my organization at the time.
- 14:45[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 14:45[SPEAKER_00]: And you lose.
- 14:47[SPEAKER_00]: I'm losing now.
- 14:48[SPEAKER_01]: Shack was free.
- 14:48[SPEAKER_01]: I'm back.
- 14:49[SPEAKER_01]: Shack was free.
- 14:50[SPEAKER_00]: I'm back, back, back.
- 14:51[SPEAKER_01]: Episode one, fifty man.
- 14:53[SPEAKER_01]: Um, I don't know how many times we tried to figure out what episode you became permanent.
- 14:59[SPEAKER_01]: And I knew it.
- 15:00[SPEAKER_01]: I forty something, forty seven, forty seven.
- 15:03[SPEAKER_01]: forty-six forty-seven see you you've been a hundred episode you've been permanent a hundred episodes not lost long when we've had episodes with you have been on I had another guest the episode why haven't been on you had another guest but running this thing as us yeah um what does it change for you I'm more transparent man I'm I'm I typically
- 15:31[SPEAKER_00]: I shy away from too much, look at me, look at me.
- 15:37[SPEAKER_00]: I do that with people that know me, because they know I'm not shallow like that, you know what I mean?
- 15:42[SPEAKER_00]: But you have to be mindful of how a stranger views how you move.
- 15:46[SPEAKER_00]: So some of the things that I do with my circle, I'm careful not to do that publicly because people are just, they're automatically judge of your whole character.
- 15:55[SPEAKER_00]: I'll clip as who you are, right?
- 15:58[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 15:58[SPEAKER_00]: So life for instance,
- 16:01[SPEAKER_00]: You know how people that'll say, look at this cut on my finger.
- 16:05[SPEAKER_00]: And they'll show their phone, but they had a hand laying on the Mercedes D in wheel to sell.
- 16:09[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
- 16:12[SPEAKER_00]: So I can't live a fool of me like that.
- 16:16[SPEAKER_00]: True.
- 16:16[SPEAKER_00]: So I try not to be that, that, that, that kid.
- 16:18[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
- 16:19[SPEAKER_00]: So I say that to say some of the things that I typically would not share or talk about in public, I'm okay with it now because of the feedback that we get in the comments and the follow up from the episodes of
- 16:33[SPEAKER_00]: I'm proud to say, I can't go anywhere now where a person that knows me or come up to me and the first thing that they talk about is the show.
- 16:42[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I love it.
- 16:44[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
- 16:44[SPEAKER_00]: I love it, man.
- 16:45[SPEAKER_00]: And then they just blown a smoke.
- 16:47[SPEAKER_00]: They started actually talking about details from a certain episode that resonated with them or something they had going on.
- 16:52[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 16:53[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
- 16:54[SPEAKER_00]: I can't deny it.
- 16:55[SPEAKER_01]: I love it when I love that too.
- 16:58[SPEAKER_01]: And it's again, it's always reassuring.
- 17:00[SPEAKER_01]: Because I had those moments.
- 17:02[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the hundred-fifth is like, when is it, when is it going go?
- 17:06[SPEAKER_01]: But I know it's going.
- 17:07[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 17:07[SPEAKER_01]: So that let me have my moment of people there.
- 17:10[SPEAKER_01]: I've had them.
- 17:11[SPEAKER_01]: I probably have more.
- 17:12[SPEAKER_01]: So I know it's reaching people.
- 17:14[SPEAKER_01]: But it's always that confirmation like, man, I appreciate you all the...
- 17:19[SPEAKER_01]: One guy followed me and I looked at the space following him back and hit me in the message.
- 17:23[SPEAKER_01]: He was like, man, I appreciate you following me back.
- 17:25[SPEAKER_01]: Just show it's helped me out a lot.
- 17:28[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm looking at his page like, it's only one way only you can do for me because your page be.
- 17:34[SPEAKER_01]: You know, Sam, but it's, but it's, it's a, there's value out there, man.
- 17:39[SPEAKER_01]: And I, and I see the changes changes in my house.
- 17:45[SPEAKER_01]: I still got a lot to work on.
- 17:46[SPEAKER_01]: I'm never finished.
- 17:47[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll finish what we're going to talk about.
- 17:49[SPEAKER_01]: So it's your fault.
- 17:50[SPEAKER_01]: That's why I got us.
- 17:51[SPEAKER_00]: Never.
- 17:51[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to get a slow road with Stan.
- 17:53[SPEAKER_00]: Isn't that supposed to be?
- 17:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 17:54[SPEAKER_01]: But in all seriousness, my son today, and again, me being in my head spending time being frustrated about a thing that never saw the light of a conversation.
- 18:06[SPEAKER_01]: Pick my son up today as I do Monday through Thursday.
- 18:12[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't have to radio on.
- 18:14[SPEAKER_01]: I had no podcast, man.
- 18:16[SPEAKER_01]: I had nothing.
- 18:17[SPEAKER_01]: I was just
- 18:19[SPEAKER_01]: Really processed and what was going on, right?
- 18:21[SPEAKER_01]: The whole cause is reaching all that, because I just left that to go go to go get them.
- 18:27[SPEAKER_01]: And he pulled his headphones off because of course, you know, he, you know how they do.
- 18:33[SPEAKER_01]: Muscle memory.
- 18:34[SPEAKER_01]: But the headphones is like, how much would it cost to fix an navigate?
- 18:42[SPEAKER_01]: Now I had been carrying this door to my head for a minute because we already had a conversation that it's for you.
- 18:48[SPEAKER_01]: It just needs a battery.
- 18:50[SPEAKER_01]: That's he was playing the three weeks ago and I went into him.
- 18:54[SPEAKER_01]: What do you go do?
- 18:57[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to drive so bad that my dad got sick of me asking he used to carry around an unused article about an underage driver that got into a serious accident.
- 19:10[SPEAKER_01]: and every time that I said something about driving before my time, he would get at the read material.
- 19:15[SPEAKER_01]: Allow, audibly.
- 19:16[SPEAKER_01]: Here you go.
- 19:17[SPEAKER_01]: I'm thinking I'm just being, but he, but he was saying, I'm wanting to stop.
- 19:22[SPEAKER_01]: He was saying, he was definitely saying that.
- 19:25[SPEAKER_01]: But also, not before your time.
- 19:28[SPEAKER_01]: So again, I, I, I judge.
- 19:32[SPEAKER_01]: That's the accurate word.
- 19:33[SPEAKER_01]: I judge what my oldest son is from that.
- 19:36[SPEAKER_01]: Like, man, how are you?
- 19:37[SPEAKER_01]: How are you?
- 19:39[SPEAKER_01]: There, can you take me?
- 19:40[SPEAKER_01]: What?
- 19:42[SPEAKER_01]: I was trying to get to the dad.
- 19:43[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going.
- 19:44[SPEAKER_01]: I was trying to get to the leave of no stage.
- 19:46[SPEAKER_01]: I was trying to get to the, hit me on my head.
- 19:48[SPEAKER_01]: Pays me after they gave it back.
- 19:50[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, after they gave it back.
- 19:52[SPEAKER_01]: But he was like, um, I told him, he's like, what, what?
- 19:57[SPEAKER_01]: I said to me, I was like, far as I know, just the battery.
- 20:00[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's missing.
- 20:01[SPEAKER_01]: So the, I mean, the battery was last thing, but he's like, okay.
- 20:06[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 20:08[SPEAKER_01]: No further conversation about it, but I was like, thank you, God, because I'm I'm like, do you bro are you?
- 20:16[SPEAKER_01]: It's this it's the roller coaster like you see in the flashes of oh yeah, he got he got it, but then it's like, man, if I if I knew transportation with I was by and stuff for my mom's car that I was gonna get
- 20:30[SPEAKER_01]: For when they won, let me switch the antenna because the antenna is back near.
- 20:34[SPEAKER_01]: The metal antenna has to go to the little rubber joint.
- 20:37[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm saying how to get the stuff from my foot, you know, the stuff to wash it and get the tires right now.
- 20:47[SPEAKER_01]: I'm buying all this stuff up up until.
- 20:52[SPEAKER_01]: Up until when I got my permit, I'm trying to, I'm driving, I'm trying to go to the store and get that stuff when it comes, but yeah.
- 20:59[SPEAKER_01]: Again, you know, can't can't.
- 21:01[SPEAKER_01]: Our lens is a reference, but then I necessarily duplications of how we made decisions.
- 21:05[SPEAKER_01]: But that was, that put me back on a how-to-day.
- 21:09[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't even need to radio after that.
- 21:10[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, thank you.
- 21:11[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you got it.
- 21:13[SPEAKER_01]: Come on, son.
- 21:14[SPEAKER_01]: The vehicle is waiting for you.
- 21:17[SPEAKER_01]: Listen, let's get busy.
- 21:19[SPEAKER_01]: Just say it.
- 21:19[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're going, you son of going to the mall.
- 21:21[SPEAKER_01]: You son of big chilling.
- 21:24[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to bowling there.
- 21:25[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to main event there.
- 21:28[SPEAKER_01]: Huh?
- 21:29[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
- 21:29[SPEAKER_00]: Once I'm not going to the transportation equation, cool.
- 21:33[SPEAKER_00]: Just don't do anything.
- 21:34[SPEAKER_00]: They need to.
- 21:35[SPEAKER_00]: I really don't care, man.
- 21:36[SPEAKER_01]: Lee, and I'm going to have to work on my sleep mode, because I'll lay it down at ten.
- 21:44[SPEAKER_01]: And I really have my phone on audio.
- 21:45[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no.
- 21:46[SPEAKER_01]: I really have my phone on audio.
- 21:48[SPEAKER_00]: I won't see you get that green light, but it... It should be like that with all of them.
- 21:52[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
- 21:52[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 21:53[SPEAKER_00]: But, but yeah, I know.
- 21:54[SPEAKER_00]: My party read broke me.
- 21:57[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he broke me out of the.
- 21:58[SPEAKER_00]: I don't that note.
- 22:01[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if I should wait to late in the episode so I don't look like slur.
- 22:04[SPEAKER_00]: But, okay.
- 22:05[SPEAKER_00]: Prunk.
- 22:05[SPEAKER_00]: Slur fish.
- 22:06[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 22:07[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, it's not meant for us to know everything.
- 22:11[SPEAKER_00]: Knowing too much.
- 22:15[SPEAKER_00]: It's sometimes I downfall, like it could really, it could really mess you up, knowing some stuff that you perhaps would not know if you didn't have access to the knowledge or the information, right?
- 22:28[SPEAKER_00]: You on the street right now, I'm telling you, parents, open it.
- 22:37[SPEAKER_00]: I get it, but after a certain age, you might want to take a break off that old life, through sixty.
- 22:46[SPEAKER_00]: Put yourself in your children's shoe.
- 22:49[SPEAKER_00]: Can't.
- 22:49[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you better.
- 22:51[SPEAKER_00]: We cannot.
- 22:53[SPEAKER_00]: The times.
- 22:54[SPEAKER_01]: You can't.
- 22:55[SPEAKER_01]: You can't imagine.
- 22:56[SPEAKER_01]: We don't know.
- 22:56[SPEAKER_01]: You can't imagine it.
- 22:57[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm from the skier somewhere.
- 22:59[SPEAKER_00]: Go ahead.
- 23:00[SPEAKER_00]: Cause you see them free big videos coming out.
- 23:03[SPEAKER_00]: So imagine.
- 23:05[SPEAKER_00]: If at any given time your parent, back when you were in your college days, could just pull a phone up and see exactly where you were, how long you've been there, how fast you were driving to get there or traveling.
- 23:19[SPEAKER_00]: If you came back to home that night or if you stayed down night, if they had access to that information.
- 23:28[SPEAKER_00]: piece of mind would have been ruined.
- 23:30[SPEAKER_00]: Just think about your activities.
- 23:32[SPEAKER_00]: Don't say what it is, what it was.
- 23:35[SPEAKER_00]: However, today in these times, I hear a lot of parents talk about
- 23:42[SPEAKER_00]: My son is a way of college.
- 23:44[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not on the live three sixty day.
- 23:48[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not on that.
- 23:49[SPEAKER_00]: When you said that I had no idea what you was talking about.
- 23:51[SPEAKER_00]: I just nodded.
- 23:51[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have it.
- 23:54[SPEAKER_00]: My family on it.
- 23:56[SPEAKER_00]: That way they can see every movie, each other's making.
- 24:00[SPEAKER_00]: Where they are, where they are, where they go and how long it took them to get the whole night.
- 24:04[SPEAKER_00]: So when my wife is with me, all of my children know exactly where we are.
- 24:09[SPEAKER_00]: And then these kids have their deaths.
- 24:10[SPEAKER_00]: No, I hadn't seen it.
- 24:13[SPEAKER_00]: I hear horror stories.
- 24:14[SPEAKER_00]: What the kid's a college, and I see you over there.
- 24:16[SPEAKER_00]: It does such a such a full place.
- 24:18[SPEAKER_00]: Grabbed me a number three and bring that on back in with you.
- 24:22[SPEAKER_00]: And these paps.
- 24:23[SPEAKER_00]: That's it.
- 24:23[SPEAKER_00]: These paps.
- 24:24[SPEAKER_00]: Four.
- 24:24[SPEAKER_00]: That's five.
- 24:25[SPEAKER_00]: That number three and run it home.
- 24:28[SPEAKER_00]: These kids.
- 24:29[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 24:29[SPEAKER_00]: So now when the kid gone, I'll hang it out with Dave Friends.
- 24:35[SPEAKER_00]: Check your piece of mind.
- 24:36[SPEAKER_00]: Do you really want to watch?
- 24:38[SPEAKER_00]: Every third of minutes of what your child got going on.
- 24:42[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not saying that's going on in my house, but is it worth your piece?
- 24:48[SPEAKER_00]: Because the not knowing could drive some parents crazy like me and just my child okay.
- 24:54[SPEAKER_00]: They making it the endanger.
- 24:57[SPEAKER_00]: See, his, his challenge.
- 25:00[SPEAKER_01]: I have three girls who boys.
- 25:03[SPEAKER_01]: Girl girl boy, girl boy.
- 25:05[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 25:06[SPEAKER_01]: So the two girls are first.
- 25:07[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 25:10[SPEAKER_01]: Today they are twenty-two and nineteen.
- 25:12[SPEAKER_01]: It might be twenty-two in December.
- 25:16[SPEAKER_01]: I know what my targets were from nineteen about twenty-three.
- 25:21[SPEAKER_01]: And I can't
- 25:33[SPEAKER_01]: It dawned on them.
- 25:35[SPEAKER_01]: It all a bit like this is why this is happened.
- 25:37[SPEAKER_01]: Like all the bit dawned on me.
- 25:39[SPEAKER_01]: I said early.
- 25:39[SPEAKER_01]: I was cleaning up and the thought was running through my mind for a show conversation.
- 25:46[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you got to clean up your kids wrong.
- 25:49[SPEAKER_01]: To know what's going on.
- 25:52[SPEAKER_01]: Twelve year old.
- 25:54[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
- 25:55[SPEAKER_01]: Twenty two year old.
- 25:59[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 26:00[SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
- 26:03[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want the positive that I see that she know I see.
- 26:07[SPEAKER_01]: And we have conversations about, I don't want to see that.
- 26:10[SPEAKER_01]: And all I can do is be the only one man until I start thinking about how I was moving at that time.
- 26:21[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, please, please, no, don't run into me.
- 26:28[SPEAKER_01]: Please, please, which sucks, please.
- 26:33[SPEAKER_00]: The beauty, the beauty is the awareness you have that the me of being existed.
- 26:41[SPEAKER_00]: So now I can train and try to tune the eye to kiss the eye and the ear to kiss that version.
- 26:48[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, if you hear this, see this.
- 26:51[SPEAKER_00]: Be mindful.
- 26:51[SPEAKER_01]: That's all cool, but when you move past that face, I got me.
- 26:56[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
- 26:58[SPEAKER_00]: And thank you, got it.
- 26:59[SPEAKER_00]: I'll figure that out.
- 27:00[SPEAKER_00]: Oh.
- 27:02[SPEAKER_00]: They take in the kids' phones and school.
- 27:04[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm excited.
- 27:06[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going loud.
- 27:06[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 27:07[SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited.
- 27:07[SPEAKER_00]: They lock in them up like how they do it to Shapiro show.
- 27:11[SPEAKER_00]: If you go to the comedy show in Shapiro, then they make it.
- 27:14[SPEAKER_00]: When we were at the, uh, uh, they do that in nap at that year.
- 27:17[SPEAKER_00]: But the phone in the back.
- 27:19[SPEAKER_00]: Then you had, you couldn't even take it in.
- 27:20[SPEAKER_00]: Couldn't even take it in.
- 27:21[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 27:23[SPEAKER_00]: They're doing that at the schools now to what they're making the kids drop it in the secure bag.
- 27:27[SPEAKER_00]: And you leave it on vibrate.
- 27:28[SPEAKER_00]: And if it vibrates, not here now yet.
- 27:31[SPEAKER_00]: Not us.
- 27:32[SPEAKER_00]: It hadn't made it to our district.
- 27:33[SPEAKER_00]: It's here in Texas.
- 27:35[SPEAKER_00]: But it hadn't made it our school district.
- 27:38[SPEAKER_00]: But they put it in the bag.
- 27:39[SPEAKER_00]: But if it vibrates enough, they're okay.
- 27:41[SPEAKER_00]: It's emergency.
- 27:42[SPEAKER_00]: You have to get to the office.
- 27:43[SPEAKER_00]: They'll open the bag.
- 27:45[SPEAKER_00]: In case it is in emergency.
- 27:46[SPEAKER_00]: And let you have access to the phone.
- 27:48[SPEAKER_00]: If it's not, you lock it back up.
- 27:50[SPEAKER_00]: The conversation was had.
- 27:53[SPEAKER_00]: What are we going to do now?
- 27:54[SPEAKER_00]: A parent?
- 27:55[SPEAKER_00]: What are we going to do now if there's any emergency?
- 27:56[SPEAKER_00]: I say, Oh, no.
- 27:58[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe like when we were kids, you had to just go to the office.
- 28:02[SPEAKER_01]: And that's where it gets dicey because we both have children young enough to have where they have parents that aren't from my generation career.
- 28:09[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
- 28:10[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
- 28:10[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like to me when they said they emailed out that kids can't be on their phones at any point during the day.
- 28:17[SPEAKER_01]: like Eden doesn't even have a SIM card in her.
- 28:19[SPEAKER_01]: She has an old phone.
- 28:22[SPEAKER_01]: So she got to be on Wi-Fi.
- 28:23[SPEAKER_00]: Career.
- 28:24[SPEAKER_01]: Now, eighth grade, ninth grade, ninth grade for sure, that's going to change.
- 28:29[SPEAKER_01]: Last year, she couldn't take a phone in school period this year.
- 28:33[SPEAKER_01]: They have to keep it.
- 28:35[SPEAKER_01]: They can't keep it on that person.
- 28:37[SPEAKER_01]: That's to be in a bag.
- 28:38[SPEAKER_01]: They're bookbag or anything to have lockers.
- 28:41[SPEAKER_01]: But I have to stand at bookbag with me like that didn't phase me at all.
- 28:44[SPEAKER_01]: But also, even today,
- 28:47[SPEAKER_01]: Moment of silence, did you hear about what happened to Minneapolis?
- 28:49[SPEAKER_01]: No, I did not.
- 28:52[SPEAKER_01]: The range and the visual.
- 28:57[SPEAKER_01]: When on a shooting rampage had a Catholic, I don't know if it was at the Catholic school or the church or the school and the church, a co-located, but they were in mass, have a prayer for the start of the school year.
- 29:09[SPEAKER_01]: And this person starts firing through the window, right?
- 29:13[SPEAKER_01]: Also in didn't.
- 29:16[SPEAKER_01]: That was a stabbing.
- 29:18[SPEAKER_01]: And Enie came home talking about that and she's talking about it through the lens of, oh, say, I don't want to say how about phone, but what if is an emergency?
- 29:24[SPEAKER_01]: So what you were saying is, if it's an emergency outside coming into the student, that's one thing.
- 29:31[SPEAKER_01]: But the way that the world is operating now, do you feel comfortable leaving it to the school to give you the information and
- 29:42[SPEAKER_00]: real times the bonks the whole idea in the first place.
- 29:47[SPEAKER_00]: We didn't have those incidences taken play correct in our environment.
- 29:53[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
- 29:54[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
- 29:56[SPEAKER_01]: So it is like I'm I'm starting to see where my immediate reaction to a thing doesn't actually consider today all the all the time.
- 30:07[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, we're talking about the overhead.
- 30:09[SPEAKER_01]: And that's not even the overhead thing.
- 30:11[SPEAKER_01]: That's just the, like, kind of is.
- 30:14[SPEAKER_00]: Or the, the us being naive.
- 30:17[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not even that we're naive.
- 30:19[SPEAKER_00]: We just have two often, two often.
- 30:24[SPEAKER_00]: We default to our time frame.
- 30:27[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 30:28[SPEAKER_00]: So again.
- 30:29[SPEAKER_00]: You want the kids in bail bottoms, not that we're from the bail bottom, butterfly collar face.
- 30:35[SPEAKER_00]: But we, the era that talked to us about that, we wouldn't, we wouldn't dare do bail bottoms in, and butterfly collars in high school years.
- 30:47[SPEAKER_00]: But then a few years later, college, it made a turnaround.
- 30:52[SPEAKER_00]: The point of the matter is,
- 30:55[SPEAKER_00]: Those things that were norms for us, absolutely does not fit today.
- 31:00[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 31:00[SPEAKER_00]: So because it does not fit, you're right.
- 31:03[SPEAKER_00]: I can't, I can't just write that off like good job.
- 31:06[SPEAKER_00]: Take the phone and key it until something like that happens.
- 31:11[SPEAKER_00]: My concern is the education level though, because adults, adults can't the productivity of adults at work with their phones is absurd.
- 31:23[SPEAKER_00]: It's ridiculously low.
- 31:25[SPEAKER_00]: And you're going to give it to a child.
- 31:27[SPEAKER_00]: And then learning this material is more often than not more important than the productivity that this adult not doing at work.
- 31:36[SPEAKER_00]: They're not passing on a skill that they're going to need to survive in everyday life.
- 31:40[SPEAKER_00]: They just didn't get all of these spreadsheets, not that much.
- 31:46[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's like I said, it's challenging me to give things a second or third before I respond.
- 31:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I even even today, like my default, my default answer every morning is you're going to school.
- 32:05[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to school.
- 32:07[SPEAKER_01]: I don't feel
- 32:10[SPEAKER_01]: Now, and here's the other side of it.
- 32:13[SPEAKER_01]: I'm being transparent.
- 32:14[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 32:15[SPEAKER_01]: I was the kid that would fake sick.
- 32:20[SPEAKER_01]: for good reason.
- 32:20[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, no, no.
- 32:23[SPEAKER_01]: At first, and you can't go on the first grade, my teacher used to what today would be abuse.
- 32:28[SPEAKER_01]: She was having problems with her daughter, her daughter ran away.
- 32:31[SPEAKER_01]: I was wondering, kids, she took it out on my school.
- 32:33[SPEAKER_01]: So we put on to the school.
- 32:35[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sick.
- 32:35[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I don't want like, yeah, because if I went in there and started crying, I was gonna get spanking.
- 32:40[SPEAKER_01]: And it was then.
- 32:41[SPEAKER_01]: You can get the paddle.
- 32:41[SPEAKER_01]: I went to Christian schools.
- 32:44[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, all way up to eighth grade and every school I went to had the authority to actually powder you.
- 32:48[SPEAKER_01]: Certainly.
- 32:48[SPEAKER_01]: And the way my the way my dad was set up.
- 32:50[SPEAKER_01]: It was like, but better them then it was going double down.
- 32:55[SPEAKER_01]: I got home anyway.
- 32:56[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
- 32:56[SPEAKER_01]: So it wasn't like how did you touch my child, which is another interesting thing.
- 33:01[SPEAKER_01]: So I found myself.
- 33:04[SPEAKER_01]: kind of wrestling with that, especially with, with like eating because she's in the, she's in that weird transition phase.
- 33:12[SPEAKER_01]: When now it's important how she looks and how people look at her with a thing and being an incredible and all these other things.
- 33:19[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not like, I don't want to go to school because I don't want to go to school.
- 33:24[SPEAKER_01]: Now I got a dig to see what, like, what is it?
- 33:26[SPEAKER_01]: Does it underline?
- 33:27[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, with it, what is it really?
- 33:31[SPEAKER_01]: You woke up in through a betrayal.
- 33:34[SPEAKER_00]: Because you were doing this fine at night.
- 33:35[SPEAKER_01]: Like really.
- 33:37[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 33:37[SPEAKER_00]: So now we got to figure this out.
- 33:39[SPEAKER_01]: That's the mess I got.
- 33:40[SPEAKER_01]: I've got just more like she was still feeling a little and anything and sad sadly.
- 33:44[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't actually see the messages until I shot more.
- 33:49[SPEAKER_01]: And again, like I said, like I saw that episode on my y'all better get down stage, y'all better y'all better y'all better.
- 33:57[SPEAKER_01]: And we on schedule, tone the soul is so easy in the morning.
- 34:01[SPEAKER_01]: I'm playing my gospel music to keep the make sure, you know what I'm saying?
- 34:05[SPEAKER_01]: To keep my thoughts from strand so far the morning.
- 34:09[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 34:10[SPEAKER_01]: But when you start getting on schedule, but it's really important to understand, especially, like I said, her face is like, what else is going on?
- 34:19[SPEAKER_01]: And they hear about these things.
- 34:22[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you really have no ability to filter
- 34:27[SPEAKER_01]: what's happening in the world.
- 34:29[SPEAKER_01]: And especially things that are happening in environments that look like theirs.
- 34:35[SPEAKER_01]: This is not foreign things.
- 34:36[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I can't imagine like no, they they're almost desensitized like like we always throw it back to what five four years ago now.
- 34:45[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes.
- 34:45[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 34:46[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 34:46[SPEAKER_01]: When we we was in the in the paradise like though you got we got we want me to get yours because that was a threat and and now I think that's been like two or three
- 34:57[SPEAKER_01]: fake, active shooter threats and colleges within the last week or two week, the ten days week, you know, week or two weeks.
- 35:06[SPEAKER_01]: So it's tough to, you know, you got to have, I got, I got to have more empathy for what they're feeling and how their process isn't it?
- 35:16[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 35:16[SPEAKER_01]: Because like I, I'm a big guilty of treating my kid like adults.
- 35:21[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 35:22[SPEAKER_01]: Like you see, my dad told me life's like a bull and cherry sometimes you've had a pit.
- 35:28[SPEAKER_01]: Never forget it.
- 35:29[SPEAKER_01]: I hated it in the moment, hated it in the moment, but I was too sick to go to school, but at night we were supposed to go to a home and go to a game.
- 35:40[SPEAKER_01]: And he was basically saying the two ain't going to happen.
- 35:44[SPEAKER_01]: You stay home and go to the game.
- 35:46[SPEAKER_01]: Ain't going to happen.
- 35:46[SPEAKER_01]: This is the life is like a bulleterious.
- 35:48[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you get to piss.
- 35:50[SPEAKER_01]: What's the, wait a minute.
- 35:52[SPEAKER_01]: He had a thousand of them.
- 35:55[SPEAKER_01]: A thousand of them sold.
- 35:56[SPEAKER_01]: How do you decision is this morning?
- 35:57[SPEAKER_01]: It's the decision for the day.
- 35:59[SPEAKER_01]: You're not too sick for everything.
- 36:01[SPEAKER_01]: Everything with him.
- 36:02[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm with that.
- 36:03[SPEAKER_01]: And I promise you, my dad has never his life stay home with me from school.
- 36:07[SPEAKER_01]: Because you will not feel better at three p.m.
- 36:10[SPEAKER_01]: He went to work when he was sick.
- 36:13[SPEAKER_01]: You think he'll miss work because I'm sick.
- 36:16[SPEAKER_01]: That was all.
- 36:17[SPEAKER_01]: I think he found out later because it won't like cell phones.
- 36:20[SPEAKER_01]: I think he found out later in the day that I had negotiators on my mind.
- 36:24[SPEAKER_01]: No, he went to the Duncan's house.
- 36:26[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, and it's because he, yeah, he, but no, I just, um, yeah, again, a hotspot episode about things, but like, what we all live right now.
- 36:36[SPEAKER_00]: But it's necessary to, because, because, if we look at some of the things that we deal with on the day-to-day, it's, again, back to this being able to solve one-fifty.
- 36:49[SPEAKER_00]: Some of the things that we've discussed, and for me to hear myself say it out loud, and then hear your perspective on it, and I'm like, man, that's something I could really work on.
- 37:00[SPEAKER_00]: I could really change, or, or, or,
- 37:04[SPEAKER_00]: just give more active in that area.
- 37:06[SPEAKER_00]: So because I know I feel like I can give more active in that area, I see a lack of change in my parenting.
- 37:14[SPEAKER_00]: Because my initial reaction used to be
- 37:17[SPEAKER_00]: My first thought, this would've used.
- 37:19[SPEAKER_00]: This is what we're doing.
- 37:20[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to hear you not doing it.
- 37:21[SPEAKER_00]: That's not, that's not what that looks like.
- 37:22[SPEAKER_00]: To it now, I'm more patient than I've ever been.
- 37:28[SPEAKER_00]: I can honestly say that, but I can also say I ask more questions, right?
- 37:32[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm really trying to get an understanding because my wife had that skill and my children realized and recognized that she had that skill, but they equally realized and recognized that I did not possess that skill.
- 37:47[SPEAKER_00]: So what that did was again, the fall parenting in episode that we've had, they automatically are going to go to the more communicative parent.
- 37:56[SPEAKER_00]: This parent knows how to actually listen to what I'm saying and hear what I'm saying and unpack what I'm telling them, like your instance of you just talked about your maturity.
- 38:11[SPEAKER_00]: I know now, if my children are saying that they're sick all of a sudden for school,
- 38:16[SPEAKER_00]: I know the dead deeper.
- 38:17[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 38:18[SPEAKER_00]: Like what else is it?
- 38:19[SPEAKER_00]: Like is there a underlying element?
- 38:21[SPEAKER_00]: Is she truly sick?
- 38:22[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 38:22[SPEAKER_00]: Or something bothering her at her.
- 38:24[SPEAKER_00]: It's good.
- 38:25[SPEAKER_00]: Is there a challenge?
- 38:26[SPEAKER_00]: Initially.
- 38:28[SPEAKER_00]: You know, we both would be, I mean, I don't want to hear that.
- 38:31[SPEAKER_00]: You can come and get in this truck and let's go.
- 38:33[SPEAKER_00]: Whereas my wife would be like, whoa, don't do that.
- 38:36[SPEAKER_00]: Like, it might be something wrong to see.
- 38:39[SPEAKER_00]: Did you check the temperature?
- 38:40[SPEAKER_00]: Did you actually look and see?
- 38:42[SPEAKER_00]: Did you?
- 38:43[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't do any of that.
- 38:44[SPEAKER_00]: And lo and behold, when they do, and there is a temperature, or they'd be like, I'm going to the doctor.
- 38:49[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, man, that's excessive.
- 38:51[SPEAKER_02]: He could.
- 38:51[SPEAKER_02]: He has an emotion.
- 38:53[SPEAKER_00]: He has an emotion.
- 38:54[SPEAKER_00]: He has an emotion.
- 38:55[SPEAKER_00]: He has an emotion.
- 38:56[SPEAKER_00]: And they go to the doctor and they come to the full flesh.
- 39:01[SPEAKER_00]: Sired eye.
- 39:01[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 39:03[SPEAKER_00]: No more baby could have left us today messing with you.
- 39:08[SPEAKER_00]: like that going to be.
- 39:10[SPEAKER_00]: So I say that to say the importance of those lessons is not just a matter of, there are dads out here that are steadfast standing on, ah, you'll be all right.
- 39:20[SPEAKER_00]: You're not bleeding.
- 39:22[SPEAKER_00]: You're not going to die.
- 39:23[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know that.
- 39:24[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know that for real.
- 39:25[SPEAKER_00]: Little things turn the big thing.
- 39:27[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
- 39:27[SPEAKER_00]: So because they do, if he's coughing,
- 39:32[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this weird allergen that they have in Texas with these trees.
- 39:36[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what they call the trees.
- 39:37[SPEAKER_00]: It's some type of tree in the DFW area.
- 39:40[SPEAKER_00]: There's more concentrated here than anywhere else.
- 39:43[SPEAKER_00]: So now people that typically don't have allergies have allergies here.
- 39:47[SPEAKER_00]: So if you let the allergy reaction, or you're going through an episode, go too long.
- 39:55[SPEAKER_00]: Now they weeds in and now they need a breathing treatment.
- 39:57[SPEAKER_00]: And now they could possibly slide into these other ailments
- 40:01[SPEAKER_00]: all because for the first two days of warning signs, you like, I don't care.
- 40:06[SPEAKER_00]: Cut it out, man.
- 40:06[SPEAKER_00]: It's not wrong with your relax.
- 40:08[SPEAKER_00]: Go sit down somewhere and be steel.
- 40:10[SPEAKER_00]: You stop all that coughing.
- 40:11[SPEAKER_00]: They're late at minute.
- 40:12[SPEAKER_00]: It's deep within that.
- 40:13[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's uh, in my experience, it's a father.
- 40:20[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 40:21[SPEAKER_01]: It's definitely, I felt like that was part of my role of
- 40:26[SPEAKER_01]: of being tough, preparing for life, even in widows.
- 40:31[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 40:32[SPEAKER_01]: Not mean, but hey, hey, come on.
- 40:38[SPEAKER_01]: Can you get through it?
- 40:40[SPEAKER_01]: And again, I'm more conscious of it now, but I've heard the first three, but I'm in fact, I'm just be honest about what Kisha texted me.
- 40:48[SPEAKER_01]: When I saw it, it kind of hit me.
- 40:50[SPEAKER_01]: She was like,
- 40:52[SPEAKER_01]: eating with children, kind of she was still feeling sick this morning, can you make sure she has petal?
- 40:59[SPEAKER_01]: She said she was still feeling sick, but she felt like it wouldn't matter.
- 41:03[SPEAKER_01]: She's basically saying, like you don't, you don't tell her.
- 41:05[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 41:05[SPEAKER_01]: And don't tell her.
- 41:07[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 41:08[SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm going.
- 41:09[SPEAKER_01]: So let me just buck up.
- 41:10[SPEAKER_01]: And that's something that, that would, another thing that I would be annoyed by, but I had to check myself on where has been my approach.
- 41:21[SPEAKER_01]: I've been picking them up for school for the last two, three years solid.
- 41:25[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 41:27[SPEAKER_01]: And somehow when they get around pieces, there's a different story about what happened that day.
- 41:32[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just like, so did you know your daughter?
- 41:37[SPEAKER_01]: No, she got in the car.
- 41:38[SPEAKER_01]: I said, you know, things was cool.
- 41:39[SPEAKER_01]: We got this.
- 41:40[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about the assignment.
- 41:42[SPEAKER_01]: She doesn't feel like she could, like that's the actual message that I want picking up was gonna put down.
- 41:48[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just getting more frustrated like, that might make me look bad in front of your mom.
- 41:52[SPEAKER_01]: We never had that conversation, but that's how I'm reaction.
- 41:54[SPEAKER_01]: That's how I'm feeling.
- 41:55[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, man, because when Kees just telling me, she's not delivering it like this, but I'm receiving it as you think I came in as my new thing I can't take in my key.
- 42:09[SPEAKER_01]: Never said that at all.
- 42:11[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing like that.
- 42:12[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, hey, did you know?
- 42:16[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm saying, in my mind, I'm hearing you think I have no relationship with my children, completely far-fetched.
- 42:24[SPEAKER_01]: No one near what the message was.
- 42:26[SPEAKER_01]: And all was being said, but I had to, I got adjusted.
- 42:30[SPEAKER_01]: Another thing to happen is Monday.
- 42:35[SPEAKER_01]: normally the morning and then the way it works when I pull up the job eating off the door that she goes in sometimes as a few minutes so she'll send the call and I realized that she needed it like we didn't we didn't know about that the meltdown episode I couldn't find it as I couldn't find the edge control and mom took it and and I'm I'm sitting at like hmm she said do I look good
- 43:03[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely dead.
- 43:04[SPEAKER_01]: That was the whole.
- 43:05[SPEAKER_01]: That was the whole thing.
- 43:06[SPEAKER_01]: When she taught my ass control, I'm low-key getting mad at kissing.
- 43:10[SPEAKER_01]: Cause kissing took dance, but so how dare you take dance control?
- 43:12[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:13[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:13[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:13[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:14[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:14[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:15[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:15[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:16[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:17[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:17[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:18[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:18[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:20[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:20[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:21[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:21[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:23[SPEAKER_01]: They're mine.
- 43:26[SPEAKER_01]: Like seeing me for what I'm actually at that's with this a hundred and fifty episodes has done is kept me accountable to Hold on for like you Are you bugging sometimes you got a point.
- 43:37[SPEAKER_00]: I always got a point and all times I got a point but no that Stand on it sometimes too strong damn important stuff if nothing else I I'm really I Really like and enjoy
- 43:52[SPEAKER_00]: the exposure to the lives of men, sure that the platform has.
- 44:00[SPEAKER_00]: That's a big common compliment that and I don't want to use work common to consistent consistent.
- 44:06[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, compliment is thank you for this because mothers, moms, women, parents are often children.
- 44:15[SPEAKER_00]: They're often thinking, one of the best thinking about.
- 44:19[SPEAKER_00]: One of what that really true it thinks about this because he's not saying, he doesn't tell us, doesn't share this with us.
- 44:25[SPEAKER_00]: We don't get this level of sight from him.
- 44:29[SPEAKER_00]: So I've even had my family say, I live that situation with you and I had no idea you felt like that about that situation until you talked about it on the platform.
- 44:40[SPEAKER_00]: They're like, wow, I gotta do better with that.
- 44:44[SPEAKER_00]: So to your point with the story with Ian,
- 44:50[SPEAKER_00]: We're so used as fathers being the strength or the steadfast or the guidance, or we represent the foundation, the plan, the structure.
- 45:01[SPEAKER_00]: This is how this is.
- 45:06[SPEAKER_00]: It's valuable.
- 45:07[SPEAKER_00]: It's necessary.
- 45:08[SPEAKER_00]: It's necessary, but at what cost?
- 45:12[SPEAKER_00]: Because we got to analyze
- 45:16[SPEAKER_00]: the level that we're doing it at, because beyond a certain point, it's a detriment now, because now, the minutes and return, the minutes and return, because now you, you're able to provide insight to your child, but because they don't see you as resource, they're waiting for the resourceful parent in their eyes to arrive on the scene.
- 45:38[SPEAKER_00]: There's plenty of days that all of my sons, all three of my sons would be at the house with me.
- 45:44[SPEAKER_00]: And I had to have a conversation with my family about this.
- 45:48[SPEAKER_00]: All three of my sons would be at the house with me.
- 45:51[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know, it's three o'clock, three, thirty.
- 45:55[SPEAKER_00]: We all at the house.
- 45:57[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, y'all hungry, now I'm good.
- 46:01[SPEAKER_02]: Big son, okay?
- 46:03[SPEAKER_00]: Mom walks through the door.
- 46:05[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say it's five, thirty p.m.
- 46:08[SPEAKER_00]: They meet her at the door.
- 46:11[SPEAKER_00]: I'm starving.
- 46:12[SPEAKER_00]: I'm starving.
- 46:14[SPEAKER_00]: This went on so often.
- 46:16[SPEAKER_00]: I found it stood up one day.
- 46:18[SPEAKER_00]: You're not gonna do this to me.
- 46:20[SPEAKER_00]: Not another day.
- 46:21[SPEAKER_00]: What the heck you mean you starving, bro?
- 46:24[SPEAKER_00]: I just asked out three of y'all.
- 46:26[SPEAKER_00]: For two hours straight.
- 46:27[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, you hungry?
- 46:28[SPEAKER_00]: Cause I know what's been happening.
- 46:29[SPEAKER_00]: I know you're gonna get here.
- 46:31[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm gonna swear.
- 46:36[SPEAKER_00]: Nourishment, please.
- 46:37[SPEAKER_00]: Water.
- 46:38[SPEAKER_00]: What's up?
- 46:39[SPEAKER_00]: So?
- 46:41[SPEAKER_00]: It's because she'll take the time of saying, hey, what do you want?
- 46:47[SPEAKER_00]: What do you want?
- 46:48[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's meet in the middle and let's all have this.
- 46:51[SPEAKER_00]: I'll get both of you all three out of this.
- 46:53[SPEAKER_00]: Where's me, Sam?
- 46:55[SPEAKER_00]: Are you hungry?
- 46:58[SPEAKER_00]: That's the only question I got.
- 46:59[SPEAKER_00]: It's a yes or no, baby.
- 47:01[SPEAKER_00]: If you tell me, yes, you hungry at that time.
- 47:05[SPEAKER_00]: You tell me, yes, I'm hungry.
- 47:06[SPEAKER_00]: Don't do do do do do.
- 47:08[SPEAKER_00]: I'm putting the food out.
- 47:10[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want this, you're not hungry.
- 47:11[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's the arrow that I was raised in.
- 47:15[SPEAKER_00]: This is what's in front of you.
- 47:17[SPEAKER_00]: If you're truly hungry, like you say, you are, I've seen you eat this type of food before.
- 47:21[SPEAKER_00]: You're not like, you told me you were hungry and I introduced you to Brussels sprouts.
- 47:25[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't do that.
- 47:27[SPEAKER_00]: I made something that I know works for all three of y'all and I'm good.
- 47:32[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want this.
- 47:33[SPEAKER_00]: So now,
- 47:35[SPEAKER_00]: You have to adjust.
- 47:37[SPEAKER_00]: I want to stand on business.
- 47:38[SPEAKER_00]: That's the typical response of dad.
- 47:40[SPEAKER_00]: I want to stand on business and you won't eat this.
- 47:42[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to make it anyway because I know you hungry.
- 47:44[SPEAKER_00]: So by the time now my own gets here, you're going to be hungry.
- 47:46[SPEAKER_00]: So I know you're hungry now.
- 47:49[SPEAKER_00]: You can do that, but all you're doing is creating a hostile environment.
- 47:52[SPEAKER_00]: And they're still not going to talk to you or default to you anyway.
- 47:55[SPEAKER_00]: So need in the middle compromise.
- 47:58[SPEAKER_00]: Choose about a minute.
- 48:00[SPEAKER_00]: These are your children.
- 48:01[SPEAKER_00]: What's wrong with saying, OK, what do you want?
- 48:05[SPEAKER_00]: Easy.
- 48:06[SPEAKER_00]: Easy to say.
- 48:07[SPEAKER_00]: Then darling for most of us.
- 48:09[SPEAKER_00]: But it's easy.
- 48:11[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a wrap for my last story.
- 48:13[SPEAKER_01]: Uh oh.
- 48:14[SPEAKER_01]: This is the eating episode.
- 48:16[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, let's go.
- 48:17[SPEAKER_01]: She um.
- 48:21[SPEAKER_01]: It was another uh kind of late morning.
- 48:26[SPEAKER_01]: A rush morning because I haven't been late to school once, but
- 48:31[SPEAKER_01]: I had kind of cut it off.
- 48:33[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I'm like, hey, what are you all doing?
- 48:36[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think that's his ten minutes and twelve minutes while my tone changes.
- 48:41[SPEAKER_01]: At some point, I'm just using one word nail.
- 48:45[SPEAKER_01]: Nail, right?
- 48:47[SPEAKER_01]: And she was on, I probably got in a little, not probably, certainly got in a little short.
- 48:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 48:54[SPEAKER_01]: And she was in a bathroom trying to fix the head and I was like, we don't have time.
- 49:01[SPEAKER_01]: You don't have time.
- 49:02[SPEAKER_01]: In my mind, I'm, because in my mind, it's like, okay, I guess y'all don't want breakfast this morning.
- 49:08[SPEAKER_01]: It never get, because I can get up and actually cook breakfast.
- 49:10[SPEAKER_01]: Hot, some hot coming off the stove for breakfast, yeah.
- 49:14[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm in my hair like y'all wanna appreciate nothing y'all.
- 49:18[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, y'all taking this for granted.
- 49:19[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, well, it's daddy downstairs cooking.
- 49:23[SPEAKER_01]: There you go.
- 49:23[SPEAKER_01]: I'm ready to hand it for you, too.
- 49:27[SPEAKER_01]: Well, we get to school.
- 49:30[SPEAKER_01]: And we do a little weight.
- 49:33[SPEAKER_01]: And she gets out of the car and I say, it's nothing.
- 49:36[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, we, you can cut off.
- 49:37[SPEAKER_01]: And I was sitting there like, yeah.
- 49:40[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't move because I was processing it.
- 49:42[SPEAKER_01]: Then she ran back.
- 49:43[SPEAKER_01]: She's like, oh, I love you.
- 49:44[SPEAKER_01]: Have a good day.
- 49:46[SPEAKER_01]: She wasn't not speaking to me, but something was going on.
- 49:50[SPEAKER_01]: Like she was like, she was in a head about something.
- 49:54[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
- 49:55[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm trying to teach time, time management, yeah, when she just needed to, maybe she's needed a few more minutes to be more confident.
- 50:06[SPEAKER_01]: And life and I don't come to any.
- 50:07[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 50:08[SPEAKER_00]: It's not, it's not.
- 50:09[SPEAKER_00]: I got the same problem and my wife asked me two weeks ago.
- 50:15[SPEAKER_00]: She seemed like you are always pushing us along, rushing us.
- 50:20[SPEAKER_00]: And then we rush, rush, rush, rush, and jumping the truck.
- 50:23[SPEAKER_00]: And then we get what we're going in this.
- 50:27[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like it appears we probably had fifteen more minutes.
- 50:34[SPEAKER_00]: My never mind I told somebody would be there at nine and it's nine thirty seven in the driveway.
- 50:40[SPEAKER_01]: In the drive, in the drive, but it's not saying to have the taste study could happen at my house.
- 50:45[SPEAKER_01]: It happens at my house.
- 50:46[SPEAKER_02]: So, but for you to express that concern to me.
- 50:52[SPEAKER_02]: It's a quality of life there.
- 50:58[SPEAKER_00]: Should I stand down?
- 50:59[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, we need to be on time every time for everything.
- 51:01[SPEAKER_00]: I would love for that to be the case.
- 51:05[SPEAKER_00]: But at what cost?
- 51:07[SPEAKER_00]: At what cost?
- 51:09[SPEAKER_00]: If...
- 51:10[SPEAKER_00]: If I have to be late, a time or two here and there, for my family to feel like they weren't thrown in the back of a vehicle and flung across them.
- 51:27[SPEAKER_00]: If being late somewhere, here and there, please, please, not every time, meet me in the middle of the people.
- 51:37[SPEAKER_00]: But if being late a time or two,
- 51:40[SPEAKER_00]: allows my family to be of sound man when they show up where we are and their energy is not frazzled because that's bad energy.
- 51:49[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 51:50[SPEAKER_00]: Now I got you walking into your school or class or scenario and you on pins and needles.
- 51:57[SPEAKER_00]: you're not receptive of information now.
- 52:00[SPEAKER_00]: So if a little late on my end, but you're there and you're where you're supposed to be safely and you walk in with a piece of mind.
- 52:09[SPEAKER_00]: And now you're receptive.
- 52:13[SPEAKER_00]: Your energy is what you got for today.
- 52:18[SPEAKER_00]: If that's what it is, I need to work on it.
- 52:21[SPEAKER_00]: Do I possess it today?
- 52:22[SPEAKER_00]: I do not.
- 52:23[SPEAKER_00]: I do not.
- 52:25[SPEAKER_00]: I don't.
- 52:26[SPEAKER_00]: It's my goal.
- 52:28[SPEAKER_00]: It's my goal.
- 52:29[SPEAKER_00]: Because my family, I've been doing this, my mother.
- 52:32[SPEAKER_00]: The boys at my house are...
- 52:42[SPEAKER_00]: And then I have something something age-wife.
- 52:44[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
- 52:45[SPEAKER_00]: No, that girl.
- 52:46[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to do him like it is.
- 52:47[SPEAKER_01]: He's a... If you're fifty, I ask you.
- 52:51[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're gonna make a spread called being fifty one year and never have another birthday?
- 52:56[SPEAKER_01]: It's suddenly you're not in your fifties?
- 52:58[SPEAKER_00]: No, that's not my wife.
- 52:59[SPEAKER_00]: Queen doing that.
- 52:59[SPEAKER_00]: She's not fifties.
- 53:00[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
- 53:01[SPEAKER_00]: But... So whatever age she is, she's been like this quite some time.
- 53:09[SPEAKER_00]: So, I just got to work on it, man.
- 53:12[SPEAKER_00]: I got to, I got to relax and kick back a little bit and let her be laid here and there, man.
- 53:18[SPEAKER_00]: It's such a bad hill to down.
- 53:19[SPEAKER_00]: Way we just, we in a good mood.
- 53:22[SPEAKER_01]: It's such a bad hill to down and I'm so willing to down that hill.
- 53:27[SPEAKER_01]: That's the conflict.
- 53:29[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't know because in my mind is all disrespect.
- 53:35[SPEAKER_01]: You don't respect my time.
- 53:37[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
- 53:37[SPEAKER_01]: The problem is, like I said earlier in episode, none of them have a bad time for being late.
- 53:44[SPEAKER_01]: Only me.
- 53:45[SPEAKER_01]: That's why we got to adjust our perspective.
- 53:47[SPEAKER_01]: Only me is only you.
- 53:49[SPEAKER_01]: Because now I'm quiet the whole right.
- 53:52[SPEAKER_01]: Because somebody needs to say my bad.
- 53:58[SPEAKER_00]: Not really switch a flip for me.
- 53:59[SPEAKER_00]: No, because my bad.
- 54:00[SPEAKER_00]: That's gonna really take me out Don't even talk about it.
- 54:03[SPEAKER_00]: We all know we all know how this just went Hit hit okay.
- 54:07[SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad you said that one because here's here's what I don't want here's what sends me Well, why don't you just tell me so I were earlier?
- 54:17[SPEAKER_01]: Trick me so now we lie Well, so that is that poke the bell next now we lie well well if
- 54:29[SPEAKER_01]: If the compromise is like, no, no, I got this good finish.
- 54:34[SPEAKER_00]: No, because I got you another way.
- 54:35[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, all my pops go ahead.
- 54:36[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
- 54:37[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
- 54:37[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
- 54:38[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
- 54:38[SPEAKER_00]: The compromise.
- 54:40[SPEAKER_00]: Remember the theme is at work.
- 54:42[SPEAKER_00]: So the compromise is not to lie.
- 54:46[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say this event starts at seven.
- 54:50[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say that.
- 54:51[SPEAKER_00]: I do this all the time now.
- 54:54[SPEAKER_00]: If I have me and my family,
- 54:58[SPEAKER_00]: are expected to be there at seven.
- 55:02[SPEAKER_00]: And I know we need to walk out of the door at six to get there for seven comfortably.
- 55:11[SPEAKER_00]: Drive park walking to the venue.
- 55:15[SPEAKER_00]: If I need to leave at six, it would absolutely help.
- 55:19[SPEAKER_00]: And I know several women like this.
- 55:20[SPEAKER_00]: And I don't want to make this a man woman thing, but I know several women in my family circle.
- 55:30[SPEAKER_00]: Jackson's pennies, chances.
- 55:31[SPEAKER_00]: I know several.
- 55:33[SPEAKER_00]: Dead.
- 55:36[SPEAKER_00]: You just gotta tell them, hey, we leave in a house at five.
- 55:40[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say the show started at five.
- 55:42[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 55:43[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say the show started at six.
- 55:45[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
- 55:46[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say what time the show started.
- 55:48[SPEAKER_00]: The lie is, hey, man, this thing started at six.
- 55:51[SPEAKER_00]: We need to leave here five.
- 55:52[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't say that.
- 55:54[SPEAKER_00]: But there's nothing wrong with me playing the C compromise.
- 55:57[SPEAKER_00]: It's the seed of compromise.
- 56:00[SPEAKER_00]: That says, hey, I like first to get on out of here for that good five o'clock.
- 56:04[SPEAKER_00]: This was going to happen.
- 56:06[SPEAKER_00]: Five, four, five, you're fifteen minutes ahead of your mark.
- 56:10[SPEAKER_00]: And you still walk right into it.
- 56:12[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you was, I thought you was going to avoid this.
- 56:16[SPEAKER_01]: She said, you just got to tell them.
- 56:19[SPEAKER_01]: He said, you just got to tell them, right?
- 56:21[SPEAKER_01]: Tell them what?
- 56:22[SPEAKER_01]: You just, that was what words you, you just got to tell them.
- 56:24[SPEAKER_01]: Got to tell them five o'clock.
- 56:25[SPEAKER_01]: You did it again.
- 56:26[SPEAKER_01]: Double down on it.
- 56:26[SPEAKER_01]: Triple down on it.
- 56:27[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
- 56:27[SPEAKER_01]: We're positive.
- 56:29[SPEAKER_01]: anything after just as a compromise.
- 56:34[SPEAKER_01]: And this is six, seven years old, to this day.
- 56:38[SPEAKER_01]: After, but if you explain anything to him, I was just, who was doing, I was just already.
- 56:47[SPEAKER_01]: Get ready for it.
- 56:47[SPEAKER_01]: You're already compromising.
- 56:51[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all, you've already compromised and think, because you're trying to avoid what you know you've earned.
- 56:57[SPEAKER_01]: The seed of compromise.
- 56:58[SPEAKER_01]: I was just, I led with that.
- 57:00[SPEAKER_01]: I was just chilling.
- 57:03[SPEAKER_01]: I was just going to go in there.
- 57:06[SPEAKER_00]: I was just going to have a drink.
- 57:08[SPEAKER_00]: This claim of seed of compromise.
- 57:10[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to compromise.
- 57:12[SPEAKER_00]: I know you got a timely problem.
- 57:14[SPEAKER_00]: I know you do.
- 57:16[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to let you keep running my pressure up.
- 57:19[SPEAKER_00]: Getting us there, seven, four, five, and we supposed to be there, seven, one.
- 57:22[SPEAKER_00]: All I have to do, don't make me lie to you.
- 57:24[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
- 57:26[SPEAKER_00]: Cause where does your stop here?
- 57:28[SPEAKER_00]: Well, see how being couldn't drive it all at work calls.
- 57:32[SPEAKER_00]: Man, the play, brother.
- 57:32[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be so accurate that I'm gonna make myself mad.
- 57:36[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, dude, that's what we talk about.
- 57:40[SPEAKER_00]: It's very, very, very, very long.
- 57:42[SPEAKER_00]: What we, what's we doing?
- 57:43[SPEAKER_00]: Let's see.
- 57:44[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, what's we doing?
- 57:45[SPEAKER_00]: This is exactly what I'd be talking about.
- 57:47[SPEAKER_00]: This is why we don't talk about music.
- 57:49[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for tuning in to this great great show.
- 57:52[SPEAKER_00]: This great episode.
- 57:53[SPEAKER_00]: Your time, time you want to show it to people before we close out.
- 57:57[SPEAKER_00]: While you're bobbing your head over there, you got a little tuning in your head.
- 57:59[SPEAKER_00]: By the grace God clips.
- 58:03[SPEAKER_00]: What?
- 58:05[SPEAKER_00]: Are they a sponsor for the show?
- 58:07[SPEAKER_01]: We don't keep this at all over here.
- 58:08[SPEAKER_01]: It's a really relevant, really great group.
- 58:11[SPEAKER_00]: really good music really great he's really great wow he's a fan thank y'all for tuning in continue to support like share subscribe we'll see you on the next episode one fifty please