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Transcript

105. The Attachment Series: Manifesting Your Secure Attachment Style After Divorce · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Hi love, today is our fourth and final week on attachment styles and we are unpacking all the beautiful goodness to do with a secure attachment style.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Today, and because I know you do not want to repeat this type of relationship that you were in and you don't want to go through another brutal breakup understanding and being able to spot a secure attachment style, being able to embody a secure attachment style, is massively important for your sense of well-being moving forward.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Hi love, welcome to Dear Dvoris Diary, the podcast helping divorcee's go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: In today's episode we're going to unpack what creates a secure attachment style, whether it is in childhood meaning, so you can be embodying that for your children, but also what creates a secure attachment style in adulthood, so that you can be embodying that for yourself.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: We're also going to talk about the traits.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: We're going to really list the traits of someone with a secure attachment style so you can kind of be getting a feel, for you can spot whether that guy that you're got your eyes on is a secure attach or not.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: You can spot and your own growth process, where you are with these particular traits.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: We're also going to dig into the relationship between ease of setting and maintaining boundaries, because it's not enough to just state a boundary we are pretty good at stating boundaries.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: We're not great at maintaining boundaries.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: We're going to dig into the relationship between secure attachment and boundary maintenance.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Let's do it, okay.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Secure attachment let's take a look at the very specific traits that someone with a secure attachment style, or an earned secure right Because, remember, we talked about early in the series that even if you didn't come out of your childhood with a secure attachment style, most people who got divorced do not have a secure attachment style, not none, right, but most.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Let's look at the traits that we would be looking to embody or we would be looking to attract in a meet, moving forward, in this new season of life where, even though divorce is brutal, it is the season of your most powerful manifestation, right, this is the intentional manifestation we want to reach for.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: A secure attachment style, okay.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: So a secure attacher, first things first, has a positive sense of self, right.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: So all that self loathing we do in the mirror where we talk shit about ourselves to ourselves.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: That is not, that is not the trait of someone with a secure attachment style and so, speaking kindly to ourselves, having kind of a sense of esteem and worth and understanding we have inherent value.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: That is not just performance based is a very secure trait.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Typically secure attachers have lower anxiety levels.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: They are less prone to anger.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: It's not that they don't ever get anxious or they don't ever get angry, right, but those are less chronic symptoms.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: And they would have generally, over the course of their lifetime, improved mental health not zero mental health issues, but less chronic mental health issues make sense.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: A secure attacher has an easier time knowing what their boundaries are and then being able to articulate them to the people that they need to articulate them with and then holding them and maintaining them right.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Because I think insecure attachers tend to not want to set a boundary because they're so afraid of rejection and loss and avoidant attachers just ghost, you know.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Or if they set a boundary, it's typically very, very rigid and tends to be more abandoning.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: So secure attachers just have an easier time just kind of saying what they need and kind of positively anticipating that it's going to happen.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine, secure attachers typically are more comfortable with intimacy, meaning when someone discloses something deeply emotional or is talking about hard things, a secure attacher can kind of get in there with emotional issues.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Right, they have an emotional IQ, they can kind of identify their own emotions, they can recognize what an emotion is in other people and they can kind of tolerate sitting with it so they can share emotionally themselves and they can regulate their own emotions, you know, with relative consistency.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Now, always, like, even a secure attacher is going to get triggered or have painful experiences or have spirals from time to time.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: But generally speaking, they would have a higher emotional IQ, a higher capacity to tolerate other people's emotions, which leads to, right, a greater sense of empathy.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Secure attachers are able to see, like, oh, what I see in you vulnerably, I see in myself vulnerably and I have a sense of empathy and compassion for what you're experiencing and I don't need to shut it down or deny it.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I don't need to dissociate in order to be able to be around you while you're sharing your pain.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Right, I can just kind of be with it empathetically.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Secure attachers have more open communication.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: They're less guarded.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean zero guarded right, but they just are able to be more open, partially because this next trait they're more trusting right.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Secure attacher, generally speaking, is they just have a greater sense of trust in the world, in society, in their partners, in their loved ones.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I know that society one it kind of gets us all these days because we're like gosh, the world's on fire these days.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: But a secure attacher would have kind of a greater, probably a more embodied faith right, a general security that even when things aren't okay, they will be okay.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: We are okay, we can navigate these things.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: We don't need to kind of ruminate or perseverate, I'll be who I need, I'll show up as the person or woman I need to be when that moment is called upon.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I don't need to kind of obsess or perseverate to protect myself in advance.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: There's just a greater trust right.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: A secure attacher would have a greater sense of comfort when they're alone.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: They would know that aloneness does not mean necessarily isolation or rejection or abandonment.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: They would just kind of know like, oh, I'm alone for now and that's okay, I am still okay, and it wouldn't kick up those feelings of abandonment.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: It would just be like, you know, sometimes I'm alone and I am going to entertain myself and I'm going to engage in the world around me and it's safe to engage in the world around me.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: So you know, a secure attacher would experience less profound loneliness or less chronic loneliness.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: They would also be better at conflict management, right?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of the reasons we're not great at conflict is because we get all sketchy about rejection, the perception of rejection or abandonment, and so avoiding attachers shut down and stonewall and ghost and anxious attachers, right, get really needy and clingy and you know, somewhere in there you might have a bunch of anger and anxiety and gosh knows what.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Right, so secure attachers just generally have a better capacity for conflict management without massive amounts of drama.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: So this is a really strong list of secure traits so you can kind of think through.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, positive sense of self ease with boundaries, comfortable with intimacy, high emotional IQ, trusting and easier time being alone, effective conflict management, strong amounts of empathy, open communication how does all that feel for you?
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Where do you see yourself in that list?
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I can tell you in my post-divorce the first year, let's say, of post-divorce like I would have scored pretty low on that list.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Right, this has been a journey for sure to embody this earned, secure attachment style and then take a look at any of the guys that you've maybe been crushing on or dating or that kind of thing Like where do they, where do you see them, kind of objectively, with that list, right?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Because I definitely want you aiming for a more earned secure attacher.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about how that secure attachment happens, either for babies or for those of us who need to rehab our attachment style.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: So Dr Dan Siegel does a beautiful job of talking about the S's of a secure attachment style, and the S's are seen, soothed, safe, and I just love that seen, soothed, safe.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: So one of the key indicators for how infants develop their attachment style is that their caregivers treat them in a way where they feel seen, soothed and safe.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: And so we talk about consistency, consistent responsiveness of the caregiver, but the caregiver's responsiveness needs to be one that's in tune, is attuned to the needs of the baby, right.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: And so that is the seen part.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: The soothed part is the being able to be that key in the lock for what the baby needs, to really be able to perceive what the baby needs and then provide it, and then to create a sense of safety, to maintain a safe environment, to create adequate protection.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: And so if you did not come up in an environment where you had all three of these seen, soothed, safe on a consistent basis again, not always, but consistently right that that was the predominant force and you could just imagine, right, like when someone grows up seen, soothed and safe, they're just gonna have a greater sense of trust in the world around them because that would have been their lived experience.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And so if you didn't come up in a seen, soothed, safe environment, then it becomes your job to step into the role of parent for yourself and to begin to treat yourself in a manner where you can feel seen, soothed and safe with and for yourself.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Now, this is a key piece where I see my clients get hung up and when they can kind of flip the switch right here is when things start to really improve for them.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Because I think there is a period of time early in the healing journey where we feel a lot of resentment about having to become that present provider for ourselves, where we feel like our parents should have our partner should have certain people in our lives, should have provided us with certain things, and the fact that they didn't leads to us having such resentment that we cut off our own nose to spite our face.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And so the speed at which you can cultivate some acceptance that, while this did not happen for you in key relationships, that you have to be willing to provide it for yourself, matters so much love.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: And this is where I recommended a couple episodes back IFS guide as the app to be able to start working with that inner child inside of you, to allow her to feel seen so safe, and to call upon your higher self, your wise mind, the seed of the soul, the source of all creation that lives inside of you, Holy Spirit, whatever you wanna call it, love to also become a present parent inside of you, so that you can tap into the internal resources that you do have to reparent that young child, so that when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling a difficult time trusting, when you're feeling lonely or closed off or like you don't feel good about yourself, you can say okay, what does God say about me?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: What would a wise parent say about me?
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: What would I say to my actual children?
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: What do I need to say to my inner child and how can I start tapping into that part of me, the self, the capital S self, that was unaffected by any of these traumas, that's always available, but that we have not strengthened the mind muscle connection between our more insecure selves and our strong capital S selves.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Right and so seen, soothed, safe, is what I want you to start practicing with yourself Now.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I love that there's this kind of equation for us to practice with ourselves.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: But what gets in the way?
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Right, where we're nitpicking in ourselves, where we're able to spot our own flaws, where we're able to see our own shadow selves, our own icky traits that we want to reject rather than embrace?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Because the truth is is we can't reject our icky selves and feel seen, soothed and safe.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Right, the children that grow up with the greatest sense of security and the greatest sense of a positive sense in self, sense of self.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: We're not horribly punished for their icky traits.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: They were taught about how to choose different traits.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: They were supported and loved well, even when they screwed things up royally.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe they got some consequences, but they weren't overly harsh, they weren't shaming consequences.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: That's the difference.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Love, right, is we have to be able to embrace ourselves, even when we do the icky stuff, and that is something that someone with an insecure attachment style or an avoidant attachment style, that wouldn't come naturally To love yourself well, even when you screw things up, because that wasn't what was modeled for you.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: And so we have to become willing to see ourselves through God's eyes.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: We have to be willing to see ourselves through the lens of someone with a secure attachment style, and that is tricky to do when you weren't parented with a secure attachment style.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: So this is where we get into the juicy juicy space of in order to do all of this, well, you have to be forming meaningful attachments with people other than your ex, with people other than your non-securely attached parents.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Right, this is where you have to start cultivating a secure attachment, perhaps with a higher power, with a really skilled therapist, with a spiritual leader, with a group of people healing you know, for me that was Alenan, that was group therapy, it was personal development workshops right, with leaders who have already done this work and have gone before you, because that's where you start to learn how to relate to yourself as a secure attachment figure.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: That's where you first place your trust in other people who are safer places to place your trust than perhaps your ex or yourself at first or your parents, right?
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: So by placing my trust in a skilled therapist, by placing my trust in a healing group, by placing my trust in a spiritual leader, I was able to start practicing a sense of security and well-being in those places.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I was able to start loving myself the way that they loved me rather than the way that I had historically experienced love, which was all twisted up with shame and blame and other codependent behaviors, right?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I think blame is one of the most common codependent behaviors that keeps us in the victim drama triangle and we start blaming our ex and blaming ourselves and blaming all right.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: It's such a toxic, shaming, icky thing that we have to learn to break in order to have a sense of secure attachment.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Our next series that we're going to do, starting next week, is on boundaries, and I want you to start thinking about how there is a direct relationship between healthy boundary setting in a lot of spaces and a secure attachment style.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And so, when you start forming attachments with healthy attachers, you will be able to practice boundary sitting there, because you will be boundary setting with people who respect your boundaries and who can have a open communication back and forth with you while you practice setting them.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Because, for those of us that don't have a secure attachment style, setting and maintaining boundaries feels nearly impossible love.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: And so if having good boundaries has been on the list of things for you to do in your healing journey, know that there is a certain vibration of resolution that goes with boundary setting that's not going to be available to you until you build some confidence doing it.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: What do I mean by that?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: A vibration of resolution?
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Love is a belief that the boundary that you set is one that can be maintained with ease, and when you have been in relationship with people who have not respected your boundaries, they have just been trampled over and over and over again.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: It's going to be very hard to vibrationally feel resolved and confident that you can set your boundaries and maintain them.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: So there are some places where I have been able to set some boundaries with resolve, but when I tell you what they are, you're going to notice that their boundaries with self, and that's a great starting place, right.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: So when I was diagnosed with cluster headaches back in 2007, the day I was diagnosed by the neurologist, I said to him oh, that's cute, it was awful, it was absolutely the worst day of my life to that point right and I said that's cute, I'm not going to have these very long.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And I believed what I was saying.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Now I ended up having them for over 15 years.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: But they did resolve, they went right.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: They are no longer and I had over the years right.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I got progressively better over the years.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: When I most recently started with this most recent chiropractor and he diagnosed me with pretty significant issues in my cervical spine and reverse curvature of my neck, I said, great, I'm going to put that curve back in my neck the way it needs to go.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: And so these were the early places where I was able to set boundaries with myself and my own health journey with resolve.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: And there was just an energy right that I embodied, that I knew I could do it.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Don't ask me how, don't ask me why.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Maybe because it just is natural to me as a healer that embracing healing modalities and that path just kind of comes naturally to me.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But I want you to notice places in your life where you are able to set boundaries with resolve.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I noticed that when my daughter was born was when I began to be able to set healthier boundaries with other family members.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Because I could protect, it was easier for me to set boundaries to protect her than it was for me to protect myself.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: So I had far more resolve with her, and so those boundaries were so resolved to protect her and keep her safe in a way that I hadn't been those were easier for me to maintain that doesn't mean easy, but easier, right.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: And so these came from places of love, self love to do with my health.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I felt deserving of health.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Love for my daughter.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I felt she was deserving of safety.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: And so these were great practice grounds for me to start cultivating a sense of positive sense of self where I could set healthy boundaries, where I was starting to play with secure attachment style behaviors.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: And then, if you listen to our episode 100 with the husbands, you'll hear my husband talk about how he experiences me over these last 10 years at being really good at boundary setting, which is what called him to rise up to meet me in a secure attachment place because I wasn't going to take any bullshit from him, right, well, I would take a certain amount of bullshit, but then I had a line and I was very clear about that red line, and that's what allowed him to rise up was that vibration of resolve.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: So I really want you to hear the secure attachment style stuff and say, cute, I'm going to.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I'm going to claim this for myself, just like Don, where you claimed that you weren't going to have cluster headaches anymore.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Now, it took 15 years, but, and so it was right, and I don't care if it takes you 15 years to have a secure attachment style.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: It's not like a and then one day it flips over and boom, you have it.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: It's a process and it's going to come with vibrational resolve on your part.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Now, if we could just hear this stuff and claim it, name it, claim it and believe it with perfect faith, you would have a secure attachment style very quickly.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: But we are doubting Thomas's.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: That's our problem, right?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: We are doubting Thomas's because our lived experience is rejection and shame and blame, and so we have more momentum going right.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Law of attraction, abraham Hicks, she would talk more about.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: We have a lot of momentum going in the direction of doubt, blame, shame, you know, a lack of trust, a lack of security, and so that's what we've practiced, that's what we've rehearsed, and it takes time and practice for us to have these positive experiences and believe that we can claim them for ourselves.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: But, love.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: There is nothing that makes you different than me or anyone else other than your faith, your resolve and your practice at these things.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: All those negative experiences that you've internalized that there's something wrong with you or you're not worth it or you should have done better, or you can't trust or you're helpless those are just internalized negative beliefs.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Love, and the more that you desensitize those negative beliefs, reprocess them and internalize positive beliefs, the faster you will intentionally manifest a secure attachment style in your life.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Now there are certain things that you've heard me talk about right, that you and I have probably have wired from intimacy, and that's where I believe really deep healing modalities such as homeopathy dive deeper than even subconscious reprogramming like EFT or whatever.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: But I think that's probably also proportionate to the amount of trauma or the amount of generational trauma that you have kind of cascading into your lived experience today.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: But there are many, many, many modalities, so go towards the ones that you feel called to.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: But my point to you would be don't give up, because everything you want is on the other side of a secure attachment style, and I want you to put your energy and your efforts into the places that feel like you can start to experience that ASAP, right?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: So if you get that from your therapist, if you get that from your church, if you get that from listening to this podcast, lean into those places but connect, connect, connect with people who love you well.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: That doesn't mean they don't hold you accountable, but it means that they love you well while holding you accountable.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Love, because that's what a secure attachment style does.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And now we've come to the part of the session where we help you get unstuck, where a listener has written into me and I have been having so many more of you write into me lately and it just fills my heart with so much joy.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: And you know what, though?
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: You don't write it first, you just follow me on Instagram and then I write to you and then you write to me.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: But I love it.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: That's cool.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: If you just want to do that, if all you have is the courage to follow me, cool, I'll write to you and then we can start from there.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: So Jessica writes in this week and she says I'm at the beginning stages of my divorce and I know this process is going to be long.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: First things first, jessica.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Acceptance Right there, right.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: But I'm trying to find ways to handle all my emotions and deal with this on top of being a mom.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I'm struggling, relatable.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: I think you're telling a lot of women's stories right there, jess, and I can't afford a lot, since I just started working again after being a stay at home mom for three years.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I'd really appreciate you pointing me in a starting place, because it's been about four months since everything happened and I have no idea where to start.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Jessica, I think your story is so common and I think your courage in speaking these words to me is so powerful, because I think that so many of us are often stuck because we just don't know where to start, and just taking an action is one of the most powerful things to getting unstuck right.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: So first things first, jessica, there are so many things you're doing well.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: You're understanding and accepting that this is going to be a long road and it's going to be baby steps that are going to get you to your destination right, kind of the tortoise and the hare.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Just kind of claim that for yourself, taking baby steps.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I love that, acknowledging that you've got a lot going on and this just isn't a season where you can spend a lot of extra cash.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: The reality is, is that healing does not have to be expensive.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Working with me one-on-one is definitely expensive, but the reality is most of us suck at accountability.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: We suck at holding ourselves accountable to being consistent.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: And if we would just hold ourselves accountable to be consistent and to try new things and to fail at the new things we try, healing would not be expensive, right?
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: And so, jessica, I say to you, start at the Loneliness Roadmap.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: The link is in the show notes here.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Loneliness Roadmap is and I know you've all kind of heard this plug already right, but it's a video guided journaling product that I created so that you can have something to do in your lowest of moments where I'm on the screen guiding you through a combination of reprogramming, internalized negative beliefs, journaling your feelings out, dealing with the somatic aspect, what is in the body, the body sensations that come up because the body keeps a score right.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: And so this journaling program is free and the link is in the show notes.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: The Post-Divorce Roadmap is the second thing I recommend, because you will have three weeks of very brief journaling prompts and journaling direction.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: For me there's a little journaling training.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: There's a music playlist that I recommend, there's a little Getting Unstuck tool that I have you use.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: At the beginning of each journaling session, I walk you through kind of three distinct phases of getting grounded.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: It really is a Post-Divorce Roadmap, right?
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: The first week is all about learning how to turn within, learning how to connect with the body so that you are processing in the Soma at deeper levels.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: The second week starts to get into creating a secure attachment style within yourself.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: And then the third week you start to deal with other relationship oriented things.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: There are also pain point specific journaling prompts in there to do with infidelity, to do with co-parenting.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: There are also homeopathic suggestions in there.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: There is it's just a very robust three week program with extra bonus prompts for someone who has $33 to spend on healing.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: There are so many women who have used these products and sent me overwhelming feedback that it absolutely changed the trajectory of their divorce process, their healing process, for very little cost.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: And so, jessica, I am here.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I am here on Instagram.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: If you need a word of encouragement, I am here inside the heartbeat app where these programs are housed.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: These are excellent starting places for you If working with me feels resonant.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: If it, if working with me doesn't feel resonant, great, that's okay.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Start anywhere.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: Love, just start.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: And if you just needed the link to be handy, like boom, here it is in today's episode.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I believe in you so much.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: The fact that you're here and you're speaking your truth and you're connecting is such a good indicator that you are going to get through this, and this is going to be the season of your greatest manifestation.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: This path is purposeful.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: You are going to transmute your pain into purpose and you are going to change your life, the life of your children and the lives of other women along the way, and that is going to be such a powerful testimony.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I love you so much.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Peace.