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What REALLY Defines Your Personality? Can You Actually Change It? · Deep Thoughts

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to Deep Thoughts, a podcast designed to take you
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 3: So you know how much we all love taking those
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  Speaker 3: personality quizes, right, Yeah, and then we get our results
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  Speaker 3: over Can I actually like change this about myself? Am
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  Speaker 3: I stuck with this? Can I actually become more of
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  Speaker 3: this or less of that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah?
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  Speaker 3: So that's what we're diving into today. We've got a
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  Speaker 3: whole bunch of articles here from very well Mined and
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  Speaker 3: UC Davis all about this idea of whether or not
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  Speaker 3: we can actually change our personalities.
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  Speaker 2: It's a question for the ages.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, it really is. And some of these articles highlight
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  Speaker 3: this wild study about twins, Yes, identical twins who are
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  Speaker 3: separated at birth. Yeah, and they often end up with
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  Speaker 3: really similar personalities. So is that, like nature just totally
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  Speaker 3: winning out over nurture?
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  Speaker 2: Right? It really makes you wonder how much is truly
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  Speaker 2: in our control? I mean, the twins study really illustrates
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  Speaker 2: the power of genetics.
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  Speaker 3: But does that mean we're all just puppets to our DNA?
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  Speaker 3: Like is free will just an illusion when it comes
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  Speaker 3: to personality?
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  Speaker 2: Well, not so fast. This is where it gets really interesting.
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  Speaker 2: While genetics might set the stage, it's not the whole play,
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  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So the environment that we're
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  Speaker 2: exposed to, our upbringing, our experiences, even our jobs, those
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  Speaker 2: all play a huge role.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like that's saying genes load the gun. Environment
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  Speaker 3: pulls the trigger exactly. Maybe a little dramatic, but you
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  Speaker 3: get the point.
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  Speaker 2: It gets the point across for sure. It's that nature
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  Speaker 2: end nurture dance. Okay, So you can have someone who
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  Speaker 2: is genetically predisposed to be, you know, super relaxed and
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  Speaker 2: go with the flow, but they're in a super chaotic,
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  Speaker 2: high pressure environment, they might become a lot more high strung.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 3: So it's like that one example from the very well
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  Speaker 3: mind article where they talk about how like a naturally
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  Speaker 3: chill person might seem totally different if they're stuck in
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  Speaker 3: a job that they hate because the environment is just
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  Speaker 3: not the right fit. Yeah, so it can either amplify
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  Speaker 3: or mute those inherent tendencies.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So then where does that leave us with this idea
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  Speaker 3: of actually changing our personality? Like can we go from
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  Speaker 3: zero to hero on the extra version scale overnight?
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  Speaker 2: That's the million dollar question, and honestly, probably not overnight.
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  Speaker 2: It might be tricky to completely overhaul those big core traits,
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  Speaker 2: like if you're a hardcore introvert, you're probably not going
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  Speaker 2: to become the life the party overnight. But research suggests
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  Speaker 2: we can change those in between qualities.
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  Speaker 3: In between qualities. All right, now you're just using fancy terms.
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  Speaker 3: Break that down for me.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So think about the things that you tell yourself,
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  Speaker 2: those like deep seated beliefs about who you are, like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: I'm just not a math person. I'm terrible with directions. Yep,
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  Speaker 2: those beliefs you're coping mechanisms, how you viewed success, those
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  Speaker 2: are all between qualities, and those are actually surprisingly changeable.
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  Speaker 3: So it's less about like becoming a completely different person
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  Speaker 3: and more about fine tuning who you already are exactly.
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  Speaker 3: I like that fine tuning the awesome.
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  Speaker 2: And those fine tunings can have like a domino effect
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  Speaker 2: on how you actually show up in the world. Okay, So,
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  Speaker 2: for example, let's say you believe that intelligence is a
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  Speaker 2: fixed trait. Okay, you're either born smart or you're not.
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  Speaker 3: If you really believe that deep down, you're probably not
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  Speaker 3: going to put in as much effort to learn new things,
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  Speaker 3: right why bother because you think you're incapable of getting
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  Speaker 3: better exactly.
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  Speaker 2: But what if you decide, hey, intelligence is not fixed,
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  Speaker 2: I can actually get smarter if I put in the work.
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  Speaker 2: That's right, Then suddenly the possibilities are kind of endless.
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  Speaker 3: Exactly, And that's when you're more likely to embrace challenges. Yeah,
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  Speaker 3: to put in the work, and then you actually achieve
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  Speaker 3: greater things because of that shift in belief.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not just like a self help theory, like
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  Speaker 2: there's actually research to back this up, right.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, there was that steady mentioned in the very well
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  Speaker 3: Mind article. Yeah, where they found that just learning that
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  Speaker 3: the brain forms new connections throughout life boosted students' academic performance.
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  Speaker 2: Wait, so just knowing that their brains could change actually
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  Speaker 2: made them perform better.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a pretty amazing. Oh that's wild. It really
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  Speaker 3: speaks volumes about the power of our beliefs, even at
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  Speaker 3: a neurological level. That shift from a fixed mindset to
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  Speaker 3: a growth mindset can be transformative.
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  Speaker 2: So we really do kind of create our own reality
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  Speaker 2: with our thoughts. Absolutely, it's incredibly empowering when you think
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  Speaker 2: about it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is.
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  Speaker 2: If we can change those limiting belief those in between
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  Speaker 2: qualities we were talking about, we can change our lives.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, but let's get practical for a second. Our listeners
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  Speaker 3: probably thinking, Okay, that's all super inspiring, but how do
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  Speaker 3: I actually do that? How do I go from I'm
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  Speaker 3: terrible with names to being that person who remembers everyone? Right?
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's not like you can snap your fingers and
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  Speaker 2: become a whole new person overnight. It's about taking those small,
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  Speaker 2: consistent steps and you know, like we were talking about earlier.
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  Speaker 2: One of the articles mentioned this psychologist who was naturally introverted,
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  Speaker 2: but he trained himself to be more extroverted when he
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  Speaker 2: needed to be.
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  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like he would act more extroverted.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly, and it eventually became second nature to him over time. Interesting,
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  Speaker 2: it wasn't about being someone who wasn't It was about
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  Speaker 2: expanding his comfort zone and challenging those ingrained beliefs about himself.
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  Speaker 3: Oh okay, so we can all kind of do that in
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  Speaker 3: a way. So it's not a personality transplant. It's more
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  Speaker 3: like building a muscle.
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  Speaker 2: I like that.
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  Speaker 3: The more you use it, the stronger cats. But what
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  Speaker 3: about those like really deep seated beliefs. How do we
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  Speaker 3: even begin to shift those?
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  Speaker 2: It starts with awareness. Pay attention to that negative self talk.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, and when you catch.
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  Speaker 2: Yourself thinking, oh, I'm just not good at this, stop
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  Speaker 2: yourself interesting and reframe it. Ask yourself, is that actually true?
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  Speaker 2: Or is that just an old story I'm telling myself?
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  Speaker 3: So it's like hitting the pause button on that automatic
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  Speaker 3: negative thought, yes, and choosing something more empowering instead. Exactly.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, like that, so instead of saying I'm too shy
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  Speaker 2: to do that, try saying I'm choosing to step outside
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  Speaker 2: of my comfort zone today.
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  Speaker 3: So subtle shift, yeah, but it's powerful.
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  Speaker 2: It is. It's about making that shift in perspective.
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  Speaker 3: I love that because it's not about erasing who you are.
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  Speaker 3: It's about becoming a better version of yourself. That's a
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  Speaker 3: great way to put it, and I think that's what
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  Speaker 3: makes this whole conversation so exciting, right. It reminds us
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  Speaker 3: that we're not stuck. We actually do have the power
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  Speaker 3: to change, to grow, to write our own stories.
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  Speaker 2: And that's a really power, powerful thing.
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  Speaker 3: So we've been talking a lot about like our thoughts
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  Speaker 3: and beliefs and those in between qualities. But what about
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  Speaker 3: the world outside of our heads? Yeah? Like, does our
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  Speaker 3: environment play into all of this too?
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely? I mean it's not all just in our heads, right,
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  Speaker 2: Our environment plays a huge role in shaping who we
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  Speaker 2: are and who we become.
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  Speaker 3: Right Like that saying you are the average of the
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  Speaker 3: five people you spend the most time with exactly. Okay,
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  Speaker 3: that one's a classic, but it's so true because if
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  Speaker 3: we're constantly surrounded by negativity, it's gonna be a lot
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  Speaker 3: harder to cultivate, like a positive mindset. Even if we're
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  Speaker 3: working on those inner beliefs.
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  Speaker 2: Right, It's like trying to grow a garden in a desert.
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  Speaker 3: Ooh, I like that.
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  Speaker 2: You might have the best seeds in the world, but
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  Speaker 2: without the right environment, they're just not gonna thrive.
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  Speaker 3: Okay. So then if you're trying to change some of
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  Speaker 3: those in between qualities, like, let's say you want to
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  Speaker 3: be a more patient person, right, would surrounding yourself with
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  Speaker 3: patient people actually like rub off on you?
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  Speaker 2: Exactly. It's like our environments can either support or sabotage
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  Speaker 2: our growth.
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  Speaker 3: Interesting, So it's so.
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  Speaker 2: Important to be intentional about the spaces we inhabit, the
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  Speaker 2: people we surround ourselves with, even the information we consume.
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  Speaker 3: So it's like you're curating a life that supports the
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  Speaker 3: person you want to become, precisely. And sometimes just like,
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  Speaker 3: changing your environment, even in a small way, yeah, can
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  Speaker 3: be that thing that sparks some big changes within your Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Think so.
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  Speaker 3: So maybe it's time for all of this to kind
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  Speaker 3: of take a look around and be like, is this
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  Speaker 3: environment actually helping me grow? Does this nurture the qualities
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  Speaker 3: I want to cultivate?
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  Speaker 2: That's a great question to ask yourself, Right, And if
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  Speaker 2: the answer is no, Maybe it's time to make a change.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, So what could that look like?
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  Speaker 2: Well, it could mean joining a new club, seeking out
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  Speaker 2: a mentor, or even just like decluttering your physical space,
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  Speaker 2: even to spending less time with people who kind of
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  Speaker 2: drain your energy.
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  Speaker 3: You know what I love about all of this? It
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  Speaker 3: gives us so much agency. Like we're not just passive
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  Speaker 3: passengers in our own lives. We actually have the power
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  Speaker 3: to choose, to change, to create a like that we
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  Speaker 3: actually want.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not just at the mercy of your genes
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  Speaker 2: or your environment exactly. You have the power to make
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  Speaker 2: choices and changes.
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  Speaker 3: It's not always easy, but it's possible.
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  Speaker 2: Couldn't have said it better myself. It's a journey, and
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  Speaker 2: like any good journey, it's filled with challenges and triumphs
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  Speaker 2: along the way.
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  Speaker 3: Right, it's not always going to be easy.
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  Speaker 2: But the rewards of self discovery and personal growth those
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  Speaker 2: make it all worthwhile.
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  Speaker 3: All right, So does sum it all up for our
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  Speaker 3: listeners today? Yes, personality change is possible, but it's not
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  Speaker 3: about becoming like a completely different person overnight. It's about
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  Speaker 3: those in between qualities. Our beliefs, our habits are mindsets
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  Speaker 3: and remembering that while genetics might lay the foundation, our
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  Speaker 3: environment really is the architect.
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  Speaker 2: That's a great way to put it.
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  Speaker 3: So choose your environments wisely, surround yourself with people who
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  Speaker 3: inspire you, create a space that fuels your growth, and
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  Speaker 3: never underestimate the power of those small, consistent steps towards
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  Speaker 3: becoming the best version of you.
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  Speaker 2: Full said, and remember every step you take, no matter
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  Speaker 2: how small, is a victory.
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  Speaker 3: That's a wrap on this deep dive into personality change.
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  Speaker 3: If you want to learn more, we'll have links to
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  Speaker 3: all the articles we talked about in the show notes.
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  Speaker 3: Until next time, keep those brains curious, those mindsets open
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  Speaker 3: to change.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
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  Speaker 1: Deep Thoughts podcast. I hope you found insights and inspiration
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