Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

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Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWath.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkweather.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And today I want to talk about how we can stop being our own worst enemy.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, question for you.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: How often do you dwell on your previous mistakes?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe dwell on some mischances or think to yourself, I should have done this earlier, or I should have figured out this solution quicker?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you dwell on mischances or heartaches or poor choices?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Do you sometimes feel that you can be your biggest critic, feeling as though you're not where you want to be in life?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you feel like a failure despite your best efforts?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Are you overanalyzing everything in your life, resulting in a sense of lack of confidence, anxiousness, or just stress and overwhelm?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oftentimes we hold ourselves back from reaching our full potential without realizing it, and it's because we allow that inner critic to take over.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: The inner critic is a form of internalized abuse.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Negative self-talk, self-doubt, self-sabotaging behaviors do stand in our way of progress and of happiness.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: We will end up self-sabotaging simply because there's a part of us that's trying to maybe protect us from failure or for pret or protect us from something going wrong, but we self-sabotage and we keep ourselves from actually striving and reaching for those goals.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: We self-sabotage because our own self-limiting beliefs or those old narratives that no longer serve us have these deep roots and they oftentimes are grounded in those earlier experiences.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's not to say that as adults we don't have experiences that shift our belief system and can create new narratives of limiting beliefs as well.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: But underneath most of those limiting beliefs, we come back to an either I'm not good enough, I'm unlovable, I don't deserve it, or some other form of there's something wrong with me.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so how you've perceived yourself could be the thing that's keeping you from moving yourself forward.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: These self-sabotaging thoughts are generally speaking subconscious.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: We don't really realize that they're there, and they're not easy to always recognize because what happens is we are working a lot of times on autopilot.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: So those belief systems, those those false beliefs are running in the background, so we don't notice that they're there, and being our own worst enemy can result in self-destructive habits such as that harsh criticism and self-judgment, imposter syndrome is a result of being your own worst critic, lack of boundaries, people pleasing, unhealthy perfectionism, substance abuse, uh thinking that you're self-medicating, isolation, whether that be social or otherwise, emotional suppression, toxic shame, procrastination, picking fights and conflicts with people around you, those are all results of your own inner critic being your own worst enemy and holding you back.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: The truth is we all have the ability to be our own worst enemy.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're all gonna be critical.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like we can, we're not gonna go through life never questioning or asking ourselves, can we do this differently?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: But there is a difference between self-sabotage and um being our own worst enemy versus being compassionately curious with what happened there, for instance.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so if we look at high-performing individuals, there is the there's a choice point.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do they overly criticize themselves or do they take perceived failures as an opportunity to get compassionately curious about what happened in that instance and how can they grow through that?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: One option is that self-sabotage, that being your own worst enemy, that judger.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: The other one is curiosity.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Can I grow?
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  SPEAKER_01: How do I grow?
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  SPEAKER_01: Willing to grow, willing to accept imperfections and recognize that that's a form of true self-acceptance.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we do this?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: How do we move through and let go of being our own worst enemy?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, we have to take responsibility for our own happiness.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Your own happiness does begin with you.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: It is not someone else's responsibility to be in charge of your feelings.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're feeling unhappy, the question for you really is: is what does bring me joy?
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  SPEAKER_01: What does bring me fulfillment?
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  SPEAKER_01: And what am I willing to do in order to move myself towards that?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Another thing is to learn to let go.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: When we ruminate on the past, we are setting ourselves up for potential depression because we're trying to replay or redo something that is already done.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: We can't go back and undo the past.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to give ourselves permission to come to this place of acceptance, and from that place of acceptance, we can learn and grow and potentially recognize that there are different ways to handle a situation rather than ruminating on the past.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: What your inner critic is saying and what it wants.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't acknowledge it and can and it and agree with it, it's just naming and noticing what those thoughts are because the more you try to push them away, the more those things come back.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Our brains don't understand, don't think like that, right?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: They just the our brain says has the the um pull to think of that thought.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So instead it's naming and noticing it, and then working with either a therapist or a coach to help understand where that inner critic comes from and what it really wants for yourself.
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  SPEAKER_01: What is what does that part want?
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  SPEAKER_01: What's its intention?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: So then you can begin working through that and recognizing that there are other ways to achieve the thing that that inner critic really wants for you rather than just cutting you down.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's important to give yourself permission to take a break.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: And what that means is sometimes when our inner critic is getting the best of us, or we're we our that inner enemy is really taking over, it's important to slow down, get present in this in this moment, put an end to that multitasking, and allow yourself to just experience what's happening in the here and now and accept help.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself permission to talk about what's holding you back and be willing to accept the help from families, friends, colleagues, coaches like myself that are willing to help you overcome some of these self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to start building that inner trust, that inner knowing.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Following your own intuition is such a huge proponent moving through listening to your inner critic because what happens is the inner critic takes over and we lose track of our own intuition and our own gut feelings, and it's important to rebuild that trust within self.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: So often we lose self-trust as we go through life's challenges, and so it's important to give yourself permission to rebuild that.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's something that I know that I work with my clients a lot on is helping them rebuild that inner trust, that inner knowing.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to talk about this particular topic and how coaching can help you with that, or anything else that you feel that coaching can help move you forward on, feel free to reach out to me at any time to schedule a call at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www dot comedywood.com.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.