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GRATITUDE SALAD · The Karen Kenney Show

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  Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys,
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  welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm super duper excited.
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  I'm mostly excited because number one, I'm talking to you.
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  So, hi, hi. Thank you so much for being here. But also, you
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  guys, can you see, like, you can't really see, but maybe you
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  can see a little bit of the sun in the background, it is such a
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  wicked nice day out here, and I'm gonna go for a little run
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  walk in a minute, so I'm jazzed about that. But before I did,
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  before I get out there, get all sweaty, I was like, okay, I'm
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  just gonna like share something that happens to me, so and it's
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  gonna apply to you as well, okay? So hopefully it's helpful.
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  All right, fingers crossed, everybody, let's just cross our
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  fingers that this is helpful, so you know that we call it like
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  the liminal space. It's kind of like the in-between space, you
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  know that space right before, like you're still kind of like
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  half asleep, and you're just waking up, or it's the middle of
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  the night and you wake up for a second, or that time at night as
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  you're falling asleep as you're going to bed. Right, there's
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  kind of this place we talk about where, for me, it's when the
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  subconscious is like really, really like open and open for
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  business and available, and is sometimes just kind of
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  whispering secrets or saying things, right? So I keep a
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  little mini notebook, a little mini notebook, spiral notebook,
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  and a pen next to my bed at all times, right, because I know
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  inevitably I'm gonna wake up in the middle of the night, or it's
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  like first thing in the morning, or as I'm going to sleep, and an
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  idea, a thought, an inspiration. The muse is like flying overhead
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  and dropping something, and I always used to say to myself,
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  "Oh, I'll remember that, and then the next morning, like it's
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  like the tail end of it, like I can't even, like I couldn't
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  quite grab it and bring it back into my mind, so I'm like, I'm
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  like, screw that. So now I keep a little spiral notebook and a
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  pen right next to my bed, so I can jot things down as they
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  occur to me. So look at that, I'm just gonna hold it up and
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  show it to you. This is random little piece of paper, right?
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  It's like the writing is like, so these, these down here I
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  wrote this morning, but for those of you who are listening,
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  it's a, it's a small little rectangular piece of paper, and
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  it's got writing on it, and it's like really messy, and it makes
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  no sense, you know. Why? It's because I wrote it at like 430
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  or 330 whatever time it was, when I got up to pee, and so all
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  of a sudden this word pops into my head, and I know why this
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  word popped into my head, it's because I had been thinking
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  before going to bed that I maybe needed a little bit of an
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  attitude adjustment. Okay, guys, you know how there are just days
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  when you feel like everything, every little thing is annoying
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  you. We've talked before about how our brains have what we call
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  a negativity bias, right? It's always looking for the negative
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  stuff, it's always looking, and it's not just looking so it can
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  find things to bitch and moan about and whine about and
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  complain. It's not that it's often looking for things in your
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  environment to keep you safe, right, to make sure it's always
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  like Dan, well, Robinson, but it's really, really easy to kind
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  of get in this loop of like negativity or nitpicking and
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  just tearing down everything. So the other day, and you guys know
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  me, you've been around the block long enough, I mean, if you're
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  new here, hello, thank you, I'm so happy you're here, but those
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  of you who have been here for like six seven years, like you
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  know, like I tend to be a pretty positive person. I am able to
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  find the silver lining in most things, and I, I do, and I look
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  for the good, right? I look for the good, the beautiful, and the
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  holy. But every once in a while, I'll be having a day, and I'll
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  catch myself, and I'll be like, Jesus, you're just like really
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  kind of critical on things, like, what, what is going on,
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  and usually it's because if I'm out of balance, if I'm tired, if
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  I feel like I'm, you know, have been forced to do a bunch of
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  things that really I don't want to do, like, and whatever that
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  is, right? No, I'm adult, nobody like makes me, but sometimes you
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  got to do things because you got a whole lot like make money or
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  blah blah blah, whatever it is, so I just found myself being a
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  little cranky or a little whiney or whatever it was, but I didn't
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  really like where, where, where my mind had been, and I was
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  like, you need like a little attitude adjustment, Missy, and
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  I was like talking to myself, and then I go to bed, so in the
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  middle of the night I woke up, and all of a sudden this word
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  pops into my head, and this is the word, the phrase is
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  gratitude salad. I was like, oh my god, I was like gratitude
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  salad. I'm like, what the fuck do I.. what does my brain mean
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  by gratitude salad? And I started to think, like, I love..
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  I love how the little librarians up in my brain, right? I have, I
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  could think of my subconscious mind as like my head, like the
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  my brain and my mind is being like a library, and I have these
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  little librarians up there, right, and they're in the to the
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  Dewey Decimal System, and they're always like pulling,
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  they're like they're like pulling out their little card
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  rack of like the card catalog. Of like memories and thoughts
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  and stories and meaning I've assigned to things and habits
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  and patterns and all my bullshit, all my stuff, my
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  fears, my anxieties, right. It's all up there, and they'll just
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  like pull it forward, like drop some stuff down. So I'm like, oh
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  my god, gratitude salad, and I started laughing because I just
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  had a salad, like for dinner, right, as part of my dinner, and
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  this is what stay with me, because I make this make sense
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  for you. Like, why do you give a shit about the gratitude salad?
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  Because this is what I started to think about. So many people
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  are told, right, if you're suffering, if you're upset, if
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  you're not happy, blah blah blah blah blah. They're often the
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  prescription they get is to have a gratitude practice. Look,
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  gratitude. gratitude practice is awesome. It's fantastic. It can
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  be so helpful, but what happens with, like, any other thing that
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  we do? If you tend to do it daily, or all the time, or once
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  a day, or start your day that way.. blah blah blah. So many
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  people, at some point, just start to go through the motions,
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  right? They'll be like, yeah, I'm grateful for this, and
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  they'll write a couple of things down, but they're, they're doing
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  it from their head, right, they're not really feeling the
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  gratitude, they're not really doing it, they're doing it more
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  like rote, right, like rote, like regular old whatever,
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  rather than more like a ritual or whatever, and so I started to
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  think about like this gratitude salad, and it's like when I make
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  a salad, I don't know about you guys, but I'm wicked picky when
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  it comes to like the textures in my bowl, the colors in my bowl,
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  like how things look now. Don't get me wrong, I can eat a very
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  basic, like, like you know, iceberg lettuce salad if I had
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  to. Hello, as a vegan, I've had to eat many, you know, not, not
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  so fantastic salads, but and my salads aren't wicked fancy,
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  right? So, if I make a salad, let me, let me tell you what I
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  mean. So, if I make a salad, right, I always want some sort
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  of like greens, right? It can be like mixed greens or whatever,
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  and then I always like to add in some crunchy romaine lettuce,
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  right, and I dice it up, and I like it real. I don't like the
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  ends that are like green and wilty, like I really like the
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  crunchy bits, you know what I mean. So I always have like a
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  good crunchy base for my salad, and then I throw in like
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  matchsticks, carrots, chopped up celery, like I said, it's not
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  super fancy, but and then I take little tomatoes and I dice them
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  up, you know, and then I put on some sunflower seeds, right, and
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  then maybe some really yummy vegan croutons, if I have them.
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  Then, of course, a dressing. Okay, so there's these elements,
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  is these elements to this salad. So, when I started thinking
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  about the gratitude salad that my subconscious delivered to me
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  as a solution to my fucking bad attitude, I was like, okay, my
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  salads have these different textures, these different
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  flavors, these different colors, right? And I really think about
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  it when I'm making it. I don't just throw it into the bowl,
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  right? Like, I break up the lettuce, I chop it to the right
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  size, I, you know, everything is just like made with
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  thoughtfulness and with care, and especially if I'm making one
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  for my sweetie too, because he makes it slightly different.
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  Okay, here's what I'm saying. So it's so easy to just do like I'm
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  gonna write down three things that I'm grateful for, Marin
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  Rama, and I'm like, but I, you, are you really feeling grateful?
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  Are you really putting a variety of things in there? And I was
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  like, okay, well, if I was gonna say to my students, or one of my
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  clients, my yoga students, or one of my clients, or if I was
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  giving a prompt to, like, some of my writers for a write club,
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  or whatever, I would say to them, Okay, here's some elements
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  that I want you to think about. So, as a practice, I'm just
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  throwing this out there in case you find it helpful, because I
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  have found this really helpful, right, since I've started doing
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  this, since I had the thought of God of gratitude salad, instead
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  of God salad, instead of the regular old God and variety,
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  right? A little gratitude salad has different elements. So,
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  here's some ideas for you. So, this is how I've been kind of
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  keeping it fresh when I find myself, right, getting a little
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  whiney or just a little ungrateful, you know, when you
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  can just start to take people or things for granted, or you start
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  to, like, I don't know, just not appreciate people, place things,
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  like your even the basics, like your health, your wealth, your
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  whatever. We can be rich in lots of different ways. So I started
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  doing this. Okay, so each day, right, I'm going to try to think
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  of a person I'm grateful for, an animal that I'm grateful for,
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  and now I'll just throw some other things. Right, it could be
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  a place you're grateful for, some place you visited, some
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  place you grew up, some place that has the best vegan waffles,
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  like whatever it is, right, a thing that you're grateful for.
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  Now, a lot of times we're told that we shouldn't love things,
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  just love people, love animals, and I agree with that, but there
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  are certain things that might hold, hold something really
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  valuable to you. There might be some sentiment to it, right,
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  which leads us to the next thing, which is a feeling. So,
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  when you do your gratitude. Practice, see when you're
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  thinking of this person, you know, if you can now, not
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  everybody can visualize in their mind, but for those of you who
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  can, who can imagine, who can see, right, who can, you know,
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  like has has visual ability in their brain, try to really see
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  that person, and don't just see them like as a still shot, see
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  if you can see them as a movie, see if you can see them as a
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  movie in color, maybe it's like their laugh, or there was
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  something about them that you loved when they would do a
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  particular quirky thing, right? Try to really see them. I'm
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  already picturing somebody in my head right now, and you can see
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  if you're watching this, you see my face, I'm just smiling, my
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  eyes just lit up, because it was like, oh, I started when I
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  closed my eyes, I started the movie in my head, and I saw this
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  person, I saw them in color, and then I saw them up close, I
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  brought them up close rather than in the distance, right? And
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  when we do that in our brain, and we see this person in color
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  as a movie in motion up close, right, we can actually start to
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  like generate some biochemical, like a physiological response,
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  right. And then take a moment to envision that person, and I
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  always say, if there's somebody in your life that you're
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  grateful for, and they're still alive, they're still with us,
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  let them know, send up a flare, write them a handwritten note,
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  snail mail, like, like, go old school, like, right. And
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  obviously, if you can't afford, I'm not being fresh. If you
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  can't afford a stamp, and you don't have time to, like, get to
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  the post office, or whatever, at the very least, like, call them
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  up, or shoot them a text, whatever you got to do. But let
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  them know that you're grateful for them, and why go the extra
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  distance, be specific, give specific feedback, right? Maybe
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  it's an animal that's alive, that was a beloved pet that's no
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  longer with you, a furry kid, right? Or maybe it's just an
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  animal out in the wild. Maybe you're lucky enough to have,
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  like, a porcupine that lives in your yard, or a groundhog, or
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  something special. There's a particular bird that visits that
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  you love, right? And really, again, take a moment and let
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  your hat, let your hat actually feel the feeling of that
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  gratitude, right? Maybe it's a place, maybe it's some place,
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  the place you got married, the place you fell in love, the
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  place where your child was born, the place where you got your
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  first book deal, the place where you discovered, oh, I'm a
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  musician, or what, you had the epiphany, right, like, oh, I'm
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  gay, I'm this, I'm that, whatever the thing is, right?
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  Wait, some, some place that holds meaning for you, maybe
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  it's a cemetery, or you know, whatever, your old school,
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  right, with that one teacher who just really saw you and got you
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  and loved you, whatever it is, right. And then think of a
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  thing, right, I can just show you right now, hold up this
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  little fox that I have, right, my little, my little fox that my
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  sweetie got me, right. She came all the way from Ireland, and I
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  love my little fox with his little green scarf, right. And
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  he sits on my desk, and I'm so grateful for this, because when
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  I see this, I not only think of my sweetie and his love for me,
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  and he knew that I really wanted this little fox, but also the
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  artist that made it, and I just so appreciate the reminder of
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  people's creativity, you know, so like a thing, and then you
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  could also be grateful for a feeling, right? Maybe there's a
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  feeling that you love to have, right, when, and when you have
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  it, you're just like, oh my god, right? So do all of this with
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  feeling, so when you're building your gratitude salad, right,
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  it's like maybe the person is like the lettuce, right? You
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  know what I mean, it's like that's the bulk of it is the
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  humans in your life, and then you know maybe the carrots are
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  the other critters, you know, it's like the animals, like
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  whatever, but when you're building your gratitude salad,
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  like sprinkle some interesting shit in there, like some stuff
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  that maybe you hadn't thought of being grateful for, looking at
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  it from a different perspective, you know. One of the things that
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  I'm also grateful for sometimes is really good stories, right?
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  I'm like, oh my god, it's one of the things I love the most about
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  Write Club. So, if you've been listening and paying attention,
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  right, so I'm a certified gateless writing instructor.
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  I've been doing writing workshops since 2004 In 2014 I
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  got certified as a gateless writing instructor. And so I do
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  these writing workshops. I've taught week-long workshops at
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  the Omega Institute. I've done them locally, I've done them
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  online. I've been doing this for a wicked long time. Right, I
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  just did one in the fall for the International Women's Writing
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  Guild online, but locally I'm going to be doing them once a
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  month in person. I'm holding up my friend's card, it's the 11th
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  Letter Writing Gallery at 146 North Main Street in Conkin. My
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  friend Jocelyn Wynn owns the writing gallery, and I'm going
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  to be holding them there. And our first one is this Saturday,
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  may 30, from one to 4pm and if you want to join us for that,
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  you guys, if you're a local writer or somebody who would
• 14:48
  drive from Mass, Vermont, Maine, whatever, just go to Karen
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  kenney.com/write Club, one word, and all the info is right there.
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  Okay, so one of my favorite things about Write Club. Of is
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  after we do like the embodied meditation, we do the prompt, we
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  write, everybody gets a chance to read, and then they get a
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  chance to receive only loving, positive, uplifting feedback,
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  right? They get feedback about where their work is strong and
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  where the power is, and where their genius lives, their
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  creativity, it's like such a powerful and positive way to
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  write in a group, but one of my favorite things is getting to
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  listen to people read their work, to read the stories that
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  have been inside of them, now coming out, hearing their voice,
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  and hearing stories. So, when I was thinking about my gratitude
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  salad, I was like, oh man, what's a story that I'm grateful
• 15:45
  for lately. And some of you may know that Stephen Colbert, the
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  amazing Stephen Colbert, has been taken off the air. His show
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  ended, but before that, I was watching something, and his
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  wife, they asked his wife or something, something about
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  Stephen that she loved, and she says when I met Stephen, he was
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  around, I think that she said like 27 or something like that,
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  and she's like he was only 27 but he already had crow's feet,
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  he already had crow's lines and crow's feet around like his face
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  and mouth by 27 because from laughing and smiling so much
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  already in his life. Now, if you know Stephen Colbert's story,
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  you know it's also mocked by tragedy in deep loss, you know,
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  but the fact that she said by 27 one of the things she fell in
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  love with him for is that he already had crows feet at 27
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  from laughing and smiling so much. That story has stayed with
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  me, and I think about it. I think about it throughout the
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  day, and I think about him smiling, and I think about his
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  genuineness, and I think about his character, and what we've
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  gotten to know. I mean, of course, I've never met the man
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  in person, but what I've seen of him over the years, and I love
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  that story that she fell in love with the fact that he already
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  had wrinkles because he had laughed and smiled so much, and
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  I just thought, oh man, right, to have that kind of essence and
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  energy that somebody would fall in love with you because you
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  walk around with so much joy and so much life and so many stories
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  right within you. I just thought it was so cool, and so I just
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  wanted to share with you guys, because look, it's so easy right
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  now, it's so easy right now out there, with the world being such
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  a fucking crazy shit show, it's easy to just get focusing on all
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  the things that aren't working, all the things that are going
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  wrong, and look, those things do need our attention, this isn't
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  about gratitude, and then we just like put our head in the
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  sand, and we don't do the work that needs to be done. I'm not
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  saying that, but we also won't get there if we're always
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  exhausted, if we're always miserable, if we're always
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  feeling hopeless and helpless, right? Change is not going to
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  come if we have no energy right to enact the change to become
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  the change to be in the world is change to help change happen by
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  the way we vote, by the people we put in office, like all those
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  things we do need some energy, some joy, some mojo, you know
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  what I mean. And so I do think that just having a regular old
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  gratitude practice is fantastic, and it's amazing, but sometimes
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  we need to, like, you know, we need to shake it up a little
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  bit, we need to shake the salad, we need to make a little
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  gratitude salad, sprinkle in some things that maybe normally
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  wouldn't occur to you, right? So we often think of, like, a
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  people, or I'm grateful for this, I'm grateful for my
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  health, yes, but let's get more specific. Let's get more
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  curious, right? Like, right now, as I'm talking to you, I can
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  hear the call, because I live in the woods, I can hear the call
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  of like all these different birds right now, and I just
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  think, like, oh my god, that's so cool, right? And there's
• 18:54
  people that I follow online who are incredible photographers of
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  wildlife, and there's one guy named Marty Woodward, and Marty
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  is known really for his work, is like marketing and helping
• 19:08
  people grow their business, but on the side he photographs
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  birds, and he just told this incredible story about how he
• 19:16
  drove 800 miles to try to find this one bird, and when he went
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  to take the picture of the bird, he hit the video button instead,
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  so we didn't capture what he calls the shot, but he captured
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  this amazing video of this multi-colored, beautiful,
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  gorgeous bird, and he shared it with us, and I just thought, ah,
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  I'm so grateful for Mahdi for sharing that, you know, so this
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  is what I'm saying, you guys. There's so much to look around
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  and be discouraged by, and be disappointed by, and be scared
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  of, right? There's so much horror and brutality and
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  violence and unfairness and racism, and you know, sex
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  trafficking and child abuse. I mean, look at humans have been
• 19:58
  doing horrendous. Awful things for 1000s of years, but there
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  have also been people out there doing amazing things, and if we
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  let our brain and this negativity bias like take over,
• 20:09
  we're in big trouble. So we need the little librarians in our
• 20:13
  head to sprinkle in like some goodies into our gratitude salad
• 20:17
  once in a while. So that's all I wanted to share with you. I go
• 20:20
  out for my run now, but while it was fresh on my mind, I was
• 20:23
  like, I don't know, maybe other people, maybe other people want
• 20:26
  to make a little gratitude salad of their own, and they need that
• 20:29
  little reminder, you know, to take a look around at the world,
• 20:32
  take a look around at the immediate world, and then like
• 20:35
  span out, right, like zoom out, and really take a good ganda,
• 20:39
  take a look around, there's some incredible people out there.
• 20:42
  There's some incredible humans doing really powerful and
• 20:45
  beautiful things in the world, very talented things, writing
• 20:48
  incredible stories and books, and making music and artwork,
• 20:52
  and loving each other, and serving their communities, and
• 20:55
  serving their neighbors, and they're getting out there, and
• 20:57
  they're activists, and whatever. There's some incredible,
• 21:01
  gorgeous animals. I mean, Mother Nature is just wild. Like, if
• 21:06
  you just spend a little time, like looking around at certain
• 21:09
  even leaves, like sometimes you just look at a leaf and you
• 21:11
  think, oh my god, like, how does nature know how to do this and
• 21:15
  create these things? You know, it's so incredible. And there
• 21:18
  have been places and things that we have been gifted, and you
• 21:22
  know it's so easy to just walk by things every day, and you
• 21:26
  kind of stop seeing them, and this happens in marriages, it
• 21:29
  happens in relationships, partnerships, it happens with,
• 21:33
  you know, your pets, and you know, we just start to things
• 21:35
  just start to get blurry, so I want to say, like, lean in real
• 21:39
  close to your life, look at these things, feel these
• 21:42
  feelings, think about stories and memories, and really let
• 21:46
  yourself feel the full depth of them. Let your hat just light
• 21:51
  up, and, man, dive into that delicious gratitude salad. And
• 21:55
  if you make a gratitude salad, I would love to hear about it.
• 21:59
  Seriously, send up a flare, write to me. Send me a message
• 22:01
  or a note. Go to my website, my contact page. Send me a little
• 22:05
  something. I would love to hear what's in your gratitude salad
• 22:07
  for today. You guys are the topping. You guys are the
• 22:11
  sprinkles on my gratitude salad today. So, thank you every week.
• 22:15
  Thank you every week for tuning in for new listeners. I know I
• 22:18
  have some new listeners, Jocelyn and David, I'm very excited
• 22:21
  about that, and every once in a while I hear from somebody who
• 22:25
  said, "Hey, I listen to your show, and I'm always blown away.
• 22:27
  I'm like, "You do, so it really does mean a lot to me. So, thank
• 22:32
  you for spending some time with me. I hope you have a fantastic
• 22:35
  day, and, like I said, if you're interested in Write Club or
• 22:39
  joining the Nest, or anything I do, you can find out everything
• 22:42
  on Karen kenney.com and if you want, whatever is happening, new
• 22:46
  things that I'm creating, workshops and stuff like that,
• 22:49
  the best ways to get on my mailing list, right? I usually
• 22:52
  send out one newsletter a week, sometimes you'll hear from me
• 22:56
  twice if I'm letting you know about a class or a workshop or
• 22:59
  something wicked fun that's happening, and you just go to
• 23:02
  Karen kenney.com/sign up, that's how you get on that sucker, and
• 23:06
  I would love to have you join us. So, thank you for being a
• 23:08
  part of my podcast community. Have a fantastic rest of your
• 23:11
  day, and like I said, I hope you make a little gratitude salad
• 23:14
  today. Okay, wherever you go, may you leave yourself and the
• 23:17
  animals and the people in the places and the environment
• 23:22
  better than how you found it. Wherever you go, may you and
• 23:26
  your energy, your presence, your love, and your attitude of
• 23:29
  gratitude, your little gratitude salad be a blessing. Bye. Hey,
• 23:36
  thanks so much for listening to the show. I really love spending
• 23:39
  some time together. Now, if you dig the show or know someone
• 23:42
  that could benefit from this episode, please share it with
• 23:46
  them and help me to spread the good word and the love. And if
• 23:49
  you want to be in the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans,
• 23:53
  head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign up and join my
• 23:58
  list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch. Bye bye.