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Were You The Love Of A Narcissist's Life · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, Were you
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  the love of that narcissistic person's life?
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  Were you the love of their life? Were you the one that got away?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. I love my theme music, man.
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  I love it. I love it.
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  So yeah, I'm open to people sending me little stingers if
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  y'all want to use like you see, y'all see how the intro goes
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  like this right here, y'all. If y'all want to create a new
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  intro for me, e-mail it to me. I'm willing, more than willing
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  to use one of y'all intros for the Narcissist code or any of my
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  videos and whatnot. Even my videos on the other
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  channel. I'm open to that y'all.
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  If y'all want me to do that, you want, you want to be part of the
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  journey, send it in. I just noticed this is my
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  daughter's like little toy. I was like, what is that little
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  rainbow in the background? But yeah, y'all were you the
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  love of their life? This was a question I get y'all.
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  It's a question I get a lot. So let me go ahead and say this
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  before we get too deep into the episode.
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  Whether you the love of a narcissist life or not does not
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  mean that you should go back to them, right?
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  Whether or not these qualities fit you or whatever I say makes
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  sense to you, it absolutely under no circumstances means
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  that you should go back into that and go back into toxicity.
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  Well, Lee said I was the love of their life, so I could just go
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  back into this abusive relationship.
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  Know the hell it. That's not what it means.
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  That's not what I said. Don't be worried about don't do
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  that to me. I wouldn't do that to you.
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  So don't do that to me, right? We in this together, we got to
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  grow and heal together, right? We try to we we we vibing
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  together Like, no, don't do that to me.
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  But seriously, yeah, narcissistic people, like first
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  of all, kid, narcissists love you in general.
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  I think narcissistic people, a lot of a lot of narcissists,
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  right, do have the ability to love people.
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  But full stop, is it enough love for you, right?
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  Is it the quality of the love that you that you feel like you
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  deserve or did you want for some people to answer the question is
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  going to be yes, right? Because some people, everybody's
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  coming from a different space, right?
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  Everybody's coming from a different location, mental
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  health wise. When I say location, I mean
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  mental health location. Not everybody is of sound mind
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  and body, right? We all have our own struggles
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  with our own, with our mental health and things like that that
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  are, you know, precipitating within our minds, right?
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  That yeah, that would make sense to people.
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  Like I do think the narcissist can love people, but is it
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  enough? Some people just say yes Lee, I
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  just want them to love me a little bit and I'll stay and
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  I'll go back. No, it's not enough y'all.
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  You deserve more. Wait, you have to believe this
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  yourself y'all. First rant you got to believe
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  that you deserve more than this y'all.
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  You get so conditioned that the bare minimum is great.
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  It is insane narcissist that people do a fucking number on
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  people's minds. Like for real, they really
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  really do. They do a literal number on
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  people's minds. It's like they do so much damn
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  damage to you. It's just like, damn, what
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  happened to me? Why am I thinking like this?
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  Why am I acting like this? Why am I accepting the bare
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  minimum? Why am I accepting these bread
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  crumbs? They treat you so less.
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  They nurses want to be so low effort.
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  They they convince you that bread crumbs are full loaves of
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  bread, right? Well, you ain't been hugged or
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  touched in months. A hug feel like a hug could make
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  you damn shake. That's a great hug, isn't it?
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  Right, It's they're saying if you haven't heard the words I
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  love you in a year, that sounds like it means.
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  So it should be mean so much more, shouldn't it?
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  You ever hear I love you in a whole year?
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  That should mean it should mean so much more to you now that
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  you're hearing it right? That's why they condition you to
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  accept less. They really do.
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  They condition you to accept so much less.
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  We're not accepting. Yeah, it's 2025.
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  I'm bringing the heat. This y'all?
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  I've already noticed in the last few videos I'm talking
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  different. I ain't holding nothing back.
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  Fuck it. This is New Year YouTube, like
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  you say let's go, let's grind. I see other people cussing like
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  wait, man, they cussing so leave.
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  I don't like when you cuss like I'm a cuss sometimes.
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  Y'all, it's just me being real. I can't.
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  I'm just being real. Let's keep it out.
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  Let's keep it going. Let's keep it real, right?
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  Like it's not enough. Well, you the love of their
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  life. It depends.
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  Y'all like narcissistic people. You could you be the one that
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  got away. Yeah, but you have to get away,
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  right? You have to get away.
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  They might have treated you differently than anybody else.
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  They might have actually felt differently about you than they
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  did about anybody else. But it doesn't mean that they're
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  going to give you what you need. And that's crazy, right?
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  You could be the love of a narcissist life, right?
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  Give them everything that they've been asking for you
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  answer y'all. You could be literally the
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  answer to their prayers. They can pray right to whoever
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  they pray to. They might pray to God, right?
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  You could be the answer to their literal prayers and they still
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  treat you like crap. They still treat you like dirt.
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  It's crazy. Just because you, the love of
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  their life, and I might, they might tell you this.
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  I've never felt this way by anybody else.
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  But they still treat you like crap.
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  What sense does that make? I've never felt this way about
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  anybody else, but I'm still going to treat you like shit.
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  What's it? Yeah.
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  What In what? In what world does that make
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  sense to anybody? Right.
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  In what world does that make sense to you?
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  That's what I'm trying to get into people's hands.
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  Like, yeah, this is the mentality that so many people
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  face right here that you run into narcissistic people when
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  they give you a little bit, they treat it like a lot.
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  I, you know, you're not my I'm feeling I treat you better than
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  I treated my ex. I used to beat her ass.
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  I only slap you. What?
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  I love you more than I love my ex because I I only slap you.
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  But I used to just full on well on them and beat the ass.
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  I used to jump on them and try to choke them out.
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  But for you, I just hit you in the back of the head.
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  I only want to leave. I don't know.
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  I just hit you in the back of the head, 'cause I don't want to
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  leave. I don't want to leave any
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  bruises on you. I love you so much.
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  I care about you so much that I'm treating you better than I
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  treated the other people. But it's still less than what
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  you deserve. What?
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  Yeah, that's literally the mentality.
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  That's the mindset. I'm treating you better than
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  any. I'm treating you better than
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  anybody else that I've ever encountered.
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  But I'm still not giving you what you deserve.
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  I'm still not maximizing the relation, our relationship.
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  I'm still not treating you good. Think about that right there.
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  They're treating you better than they treated their ex.
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  The ex that might have reached out to you and warned you that
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  this person was abusive and neglectful and this, this, that,
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  right? They're treating you better than
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  they treated their ex, but they're still treating you like
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  crap. They're still not giving you
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  what you want and need. But you keep thinking like,
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  damn, they are treating me better than their ex.
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  It that doesn't mean it's a good thing.
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  Like to be the one that got away, you have to get away or it
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  doesn't really fully make sense, does it?
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  If you think about from that perspective right there, it
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  doesn't. You can't be the one that got
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  away if you never, ever get away.
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  Like to be the love of a narcissist's life.
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  It seemed like it. It seemed like it would mean
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  more than what it actually means, right?
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  It seems like it would carry more weight then it actually
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  carries, doesn't it? It seemed like it would carry
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  more weight than it actually carries.
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  It seemed like we were doing more.
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  It would be just doing it would be giving you more.
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  It would provide you more than what it's actually doing, now,
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  wouldn't it? But it never really does.
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  It never is. These relationships are never as
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  fulfilling as you think, as you think that they are, as they as
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  they are sometimes made out to be.
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  The narcissistic person is never really giving you what you need
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  and what you want or what you deserve.
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  They're giving you what they think that they they're giving
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  you what they think you accept. They're giving you what they're
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  willing to give you to keep you there.
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  The love of their life is not a good title to have when you're
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  dealing with an abuser, right? It's like dealing you deal
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  dealing with a serial unaliver, right?
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  And they unalived all their exes, but they only beat your
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  ass. You're the love of their life.
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  I I used, I used to put everybody else in the dirt but
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  you. I can't be alive.
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  You know, I treat you horrible. I beat you, but you could be in
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  the dirt. They condition you to think like
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  whatever they condition you to think that that's cool.
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  God damn. You know what, you're right, I
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  could absolutely be in a dirt right now, but I'm not.
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  I'm alive, I'm well, I'm doing pretty decent.
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  You know I'm doing pretty decently.
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  I'm alive and well. I'm I'm actually living a pretty
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  decent life right now. This is crazy how this works,
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  isn't it? Wow, damn, that's crazy y'all.
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  They convinced you that being a love of their life is a great
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  moniker to have. And are some people willing to
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  accept that moniker regardless of what it comes with?
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  Yes, absolutely. I've talked to a bunch of them
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  right there. I talked to a bunch of people
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  that are willing to accept less because they at least they at
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  least they know that they're loved by this person at this at
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  this time, at this point in time, right?
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  Well, at least I'm there's something at least I'm the love
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  of something, right? At least I get something out of
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  it, right? It's, it's, it can be sad to see
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  what people are willing to accept, but that's the that's
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  the mindset of a lot of people right there, right?
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  Because like some people I've talked to, they have their own
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  personality disorders, they have their own mental health issues
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  that they're struggling with. So they are willing to accept
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  this less than stellar behavior. I believe he told me how the
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  love of his life, but he cheats on me every single day.
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  He cheated on me. Like, I mean the very one of the
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  very first one on ones I did y'all, it was a woman that said
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  she she's like her, her partner cheats on her so much and she's
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  angry because he doesn't have enough.
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  She had enough. She he doesn't have enough
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  energy to just sleep with her. She's like, it just breaks my
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  heart and he's cheating on me over 100 times and he just
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  doesn't sleep with me anymore. I was like, he tired, you know,
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  he's tired of my daughter cheating.
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  He got enough energy. Oh, it's like 50-60 years old
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  out here cheating somebody. He got enough energy, you know,
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  she laughed, but she was hurting, right?
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  And it's just like she was willing to accept that as long
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  as he would sleep with her. But he that's the break that the
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  strata broke the camel's back that he wasn't willing to sleep
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  with her no more. He's willing to keep her around
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  and be in a relationship with her, but everything else is off
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  limits. No, no, I mean, we ain't doing
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  that. We don't need, we don't need, we
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  don't need to do anything else. We just need to do what we've
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  been doing right now, right? We just need to be, we just need
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  to get out. We just need to do what we've
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  been what we've been doing. Nothing else, nothing more,
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  nothing less, you know, But that's, they try to convince you
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  that you should accept this less this, this less that like, hey,
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  you love my life, you know? And then when you do, if you do
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  leave them, they'll tell you that some of them will tell you
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  that you they don't want you to be the one that got away.
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  I regret everything that I put you through.
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  I regret that I'm here by myself.
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  I I miss you so much. I'm hurting so much.
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  I have so much pain in my heart. And they make their, yeah, they
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  make their apologies about them, right?
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  They make their the way that the way narcissists apologize, they
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  either offer blanket state, blanket statement apologies
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  where it's just an all-encompassing apology, or
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  they make the apology about how they feel, not what they did,
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  how they feel about everything, right?
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  How they feel about literally everything.
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  They make the apology about their feelings, their struggle,
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  and you know what I mean? And whatnot.
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  How this would be another video right there, how narcissists
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  apologize. I'm gonna go deeper into that
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  right there, y'all. So we make sure you tune in to
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  that one. How Norris's apologize, but
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  that's how that's the the struggle that so many people
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  face right there is that we're trying to heal.
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  You're trying to grow, you're trying to make ends meet, you're
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  trying to make your relationship ends meet, but you're dealing
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  with an abuser and it just doesn't a lot of times it
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  doesn't resonate and make sense with you as you're trying to
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  make it through these situations, right.
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  The love of a narcissist's life is not a, a, a moniker that
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  should be bragged about because so many people that means you're
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  that means if you're still with them, you might be probably
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  settling for less. Ask yourself, take a look, take
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  a give you, I call it, I call it in a lot of people, they call it
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  the 30,000 foot perspective, right?
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  Take a step back and look and see what you actually see, what
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  you're actually experiencing, what's actually going on, you
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  know, because that can actually absolutely help you heal.
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  It can help you separate yourself free.
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  Like it's just like, damn, am I really accepting less to be with
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  this person just because they called me the love of their
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  life? They, they can, they can tell
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  you that they they can tell you that you're the love of their
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  lives, But are they treating you like you to love?
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  Are they treating you like the love of like, are they treating
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  you like you're the love of their life?
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  Are they treating you like it's the it's it's a worthy title to
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  just take home like I'm the love of their life.
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  Yay. Or, you know, is this something
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  to brag about to your friends about to your friends and family
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  about? Or is it just something you have
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  to keep under wraps? Like this abuser said that I was
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  the love of their life. Should I who should I tell?
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  Who can I tell? Who can I run to and tell this
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  to? Who can I share this with that
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  it will make sense to them, right?
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  That's what you have to decide right there.
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  Y'all. That's literally what you have
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  to decide when you're dealing with an abuser, dealing with an
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  abusive person. Yeah, again, you, to be the one
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  that got away, you actually have to get away, right?
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  To be the one that escape, you actually have to escape, don't
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  you? You know what I mean?
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  Being with y'all ain't going to let this run on too long.
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  Y'all be safe, take care of yourselves.
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  And y'all, you don't want to settle for less.
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  And a lot of times in relationships with narcissists,
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  you are in fact settling for less than what you deserve, you
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  know, But they convince you that you're actually getting more
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  than what you deserve. They convinced you that you're,
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  you're actually being treated amazingly, like you're being
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  treated in a stellar manner. You should be proud of how you,
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  you should be happy to that they, that they, that they are
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  with you and not anybody else, right?
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  They treat everybody else worse than they treating you.
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  But you're still not getting what you want.
• 14:23
  Anyway, y'all again, y'all, if you haven't already hit that
• 14:25
  subscribe button, y'all. It would be greatly appreciated.
• 14:28
  Thank y'all so much coaching courses.
• 14:30
  Everything is available at mentalillness.net right here on
• 14:33
  the screen y'all. And as always, y'all, as always,
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  this is out. Thank you so much for making it
• 14:40
  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
• 14:42
  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 14:44
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Helps reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 14:50
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 14:53
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 14:55
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 14:57
  I will see you in the next video.
• 14:58
  Peace.