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What It's Really Like Raising Triplets · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the mums group you actually want
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Amy Torber and I'm
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: joined by my triplet sisters and journalist, Sophie and Kate.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And today, for this very special Mother's Day episode, we
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: are joined by our mum, Linda Torber. Welcome to the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Mums Group.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Now, this woman is a superstar. She has given birth
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to triplets, obviously. And I mean, I think now that
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I have my own child, it's only now that I
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: fully realise what she went through. And just, I mean,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: absolute awe of her. Because people used to say, oh,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: your mum's amazing. And I was like, Yeah, but now
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: that I've had one child, I'm like, how did she
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: do it with three?
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: Now, mum, we need to take you back in time
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: 37 years and a bit to when you found out
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: you were pregnant. What was that moment like for you?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: It was actually very exciting because I actually had a
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: couple of miscarriages prior to falling pregnant with you girls.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: So when I found out I was pregnant, I had
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: an early scan at eight weeks and they told me
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: there were twins. So that was exciting. So I knew
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: very early on that it was a multiple birth.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Did you know the gender at that point?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: We did not know the gender until they pulled you out.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Is that because you chose to or was the technology
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: not advanced enough?
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I don't think people did it back in those days.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: It just wasn't a thing. We just waited and were
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: patient and just found out what sex you were once
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: you were born.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Did you have a preference?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: No, honestly no, because all I wanted were three healthy
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: babies and Initially, I wanted to have a vaginal birth
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: with two and then booked into a private hospital to
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: have that done. And as soon as the third baby
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: was found at 27 weeks, I might add. So I
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: don't know which one of you was hiding, but that
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: changed everything.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Can you talk about that scan? So what happened?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Well, I went to a different obstetrician that was in
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: the same practice and he started measuring my stomach and
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: sent me off for an extra scan. And I went
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: along hoping that everything was okay. And the guy that
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: did the scan just looked at us and said, oh,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I've found another baby. And I just looked at the ceiling.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I think I said a very rude word.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Yes. And I think your father was similar. It was
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: such a shock because it was so late and obviously
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: not expecting triplets because they're naturally conceived.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It's really weird because when I heard this story as
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a child, I thought, oh. like lucky mum and dad,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: they had three babies. And then when we went to
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: have Harry, the thought of having, you know, going to
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: your scan and finding three babies absolutely terrified me because
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: a lot of people joked and said, oh, well, if
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: you're a triplet, you're going to have multiples yourself. But
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I think only when you're in that moment, you realise
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: how terrifying that must have been for you.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I think ignorance was bliss, actually. just excited to have
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: three babies and had no idea what we're in store
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: for I.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Heard that dad went and had a couple of cigarettes
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: after finding out the news he was quite a heavy
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: smoker at the time was that the way he dealt
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: with a bit of the bit of the stress going.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: On oh yes probably we went to visit both sets
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: of parents and their reactions were quite interesting and I
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: remember my mother saying, oh, that's nice, but how am
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I going to cope, meaning her?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: There's a story that's been going around the Torba family,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: and I want to know if it's true. So one Christmas,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Dad ate, was it 45 oysters or something? He broke
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: the Torba family record, and rumour has it that that
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: was the year that you conceived triplets. Could it have
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: been the oysters?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I have no idea, but he did eat a lot
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: of oysters. It was a place called Seafood City. I
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: think it was at Glenelg and it was like an
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: all-you-can-eat for X amount of dollars. So I think your
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: father always used to go there and get his money's worth.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Why did I assume that it was Grandma serving up
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: all the oysters? Because we'd always have oysters at Christmas.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I thought that these were... No, no, no, no.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: It was Seafood City Glenelg.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: A lot to answer for.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Aren't oysters an aphrodisiac?
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I don't necessarily know that they are.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I think maybe some researchers should look into, you know,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: the link between multiple births and oysters potentially. Either that
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: or Dad just has some powerful sperm. I actually read
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: some cards that were being sent. It was like a
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: card from the high school that Dad worked at and
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it was all the teachers had signed it and there
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: was a few comments about Huey's super sperm and I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: was like, I don't really want to be reading this. Well,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: didn't we later find out that our grandma's brother was
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: a twin, but the twin died at birth.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: So we do actually.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: Have multiples in the family.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: So rewinding back to that moment that you found out
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: you were actually having triplets rather than twins, what happened next?
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I think they wanted me to go to hospital straight
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: away for some rest. And I said, well, I actually
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: haven't got anything organized in terms of myself. plus into
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: like things like pajamas and dressing gowns and that sort
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: of stuff but also makeup but also um i needed
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: to get another cot from someone so i put an
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: sos out to my friends and thank you judy she
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: gave me a cot and said do what you like
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: with it it was painted blue and we thought we
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: don't care um and we just needed one more of
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of things so i went into hospital a
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: few days later actually i think i was 29 weeks
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: so how did you stop working I was told I
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: had to stop working at 20 weeks and fortunate, well,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: 24 actually, but because I had my four weeks annual
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: leave coming up, I stopped at 20 weeks.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Before you found out you're having triplets, how was the pregnancy? Like,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: were you thinking, oh, this is a bit difficult?
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Not really. I think I was super lucky. I wasn't sick.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I was very tired, especially in the first trimester, but no,
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: nothing really. Maybe swollen ankles a little bit towards the end.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Extra movement in your stomach? Not really. Not that I can–
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: this is a long time ago. I can't– I do
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: remember you kicking, but I don't remember that being a terrible,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: terrible thing.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So what was hospital like?
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I went to the Queen Victoria Hospital, which was
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: a public hospital which no longer exists, but I was
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: on the third floor, the floor where everyone went if
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: they had an issue or if they were just– or
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: a multiple birth. So I actually met my very good friend–
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: who was in the adjoining room. We shared a bathroom
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: and got to know each other very, very well. And
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: she ended up having two beautiful boys, Thomas and Michael,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: who are still your friends to this day. It was
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: a little bit boring, I have to say, because really
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: we had just had to lie in bed. I learnt
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: a lot about daytime TV, which I didn't enjoy.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine all this without a phone?
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Like you can't even probably, it'd probably be difficult to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: you know, message dad. There's no social media. Like it
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: would be so boring.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: At least you couldn't doom scroll though. Cause I'd be
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: like Googling everything.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing. I knew nothing, very naive. And
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: when I was in hospital for about three and a
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: half weeks before you were born and my three brothers
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: are doctors. So every time they would come to visit me,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: it was never hello, Linda. It was always looking at
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: the clipboard that it was at the end of the bed.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: This is pre-computers. So they would check all my vital
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: signs and mutter amongst each other. And then eventually I
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: might get, oh, hello, Linda, how are you?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And one day everything came to a head when you
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: discovered that you had preeclampsia, which for anyone who's watched
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Downton Abbey, that's a horrifying.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Thing to find out. That was a horrifying thing. Again,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I was naive, but I just followed everything the doctor said.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: I had lots of urine tests and they must have
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: found it in that 24 hours later. You were born.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I had to have some injection to make the lungs
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: more healthy. And then 24 hours later, I was taken
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: down and you were born. I couldn't wait. There was
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: no room at all. I was 31 weeks and six days,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: so almost 32 weeks. And the only thing I can
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: remember was... The tightness, everything felt tight. It could hardly move.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: So I was joyful when they said, yes, you're going
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: to be born.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Was it instant relief? Because I remember with Harry, I
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: could actually tell the moment he was out of my stomach.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: It was just this feeling of release. Really?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: I couldn't feel anything. Oh, really?
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Apart from the rummaging. Did you feel it, Mum?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: No, not at all. I had an anaesthetist who, strangely enough,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: her daughter went, at that stage I was a dental therapist.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: And her daughter had come to the clinic I worked at.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: So she found out who I was and was just
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: so kind to me because I had the shakes during
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: the epidural. So she just sat with me, talked to me.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: She was just beautiful. So I don't actually remember a lot.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: What was dad like through the whole process of the birth?
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Dad was surprisingly good. He sat up the non-action end
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: because your father doesn't like anything medical. Strangely enough, he
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: still has the hospital cap that he wore Oh, does he?
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: He does.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Did you just find that in your clean-up?
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. So did he steal it?
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Because there's a whole contention around taking the blanket, the
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: nostalgic blanket.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: Look, this is 37 years ago, so I don't think
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: they had all those stringent rules that they do have now.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: And wasn't there some crazy number of people in the
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: operating theatre? At one stage you realised that there was
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: also the.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: Janitor that was watching on?
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I think from memory there were 21 people. Because there
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: were three neonatal nurses... Plus I think there was a
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: doctor as well with each of those cribs. There was
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: obviously the specialist. There was the anaesthetist. There were lots
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: of people. But I do remember there was some guy
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: leaning on a broom. I don't know what the heck
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: he was doing. And we just joked and said he
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: was the janitor. I'm not sure. So 21 people. And
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: as soon as Kate was born first and as soon
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: as she was born, they just whisked her away. And
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I think it was Amy that I basically touched before
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: she left. and then Sophie came out and they just
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: whisked them away and they were surprised how well you looked.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: You had one night in the intensive care neonatal section
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: and you were so well that they put you into
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: the next section up where you stayed for quite a
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: number of weeks and then you went into the the
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: last section, the going home section. I can't remember what
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: it was called.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: What was it like leaving us in the hospital?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: It was absolutely terrible because for lots of reasons. One
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: is it was awful to leave you there but it
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: wasn't restful going home because you had all this milk
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: coming in. So all I did when I was at
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: home was pump milk and I went twice a day
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to visit you in the morning and then in the evening.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: And also it was really difficult because my brother and
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: his wife died had a baby a couple of weeks
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: after you. And that was one birth, went home straight away.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: So it was just, I just didn't like it. It
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: was awful.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: It's pretty crazy to think that your parents went from
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: being not grandparents to having four grandchildren in the matter
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: of two weeks.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: They did. And they were the best grandparents. They loved
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: their four girls because my brother and his then wife
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: had a daughter as well. So that was all very,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: very exciting.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Did you get to hold us much? Because obviously we're
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: in the incubators. Do you remember the first time you
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: got to hold us all together?
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: We were able to hold you. We were hooked up
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: to quite a few things, drips and whatever. You had
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: the nasogastric tube down your nose for weeks and weeks
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: and weeks. But they were very kind. The nurses were
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: amazing in there and they allowed you or us to
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: take you out of the incubator. They would have to
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: remove cords and help us, but they were absolutely fantastic.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: And in terms of the gender, you obviously found out
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: on the day. Were you excited that you were having
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: three girls? Because for those who don't know, you have
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: three brothers. You always wanted a sister.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: I was ecstatic to have three girls. I did say
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: to your dad, were you disappointed not having a boy?
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: And he said, absolutely not. He was just so elated
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: that you were healthy. I think one of the good
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: things they did for me while I was staying in
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: the Queen Victoria Hospital when I was on bed rest
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: was they took me down to the neonatal unit and
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I saw triplets that were born about six weeks before
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: you that were actually born And I think about 27 weeks.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: And just to show me that I was ahead of
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: them and that you just basically told me that they
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: thought you were going to be all right. Funny enough,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: these triplets are still our lifelong friends. So it's incredible
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: how many friends we've made in the.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: And she lives down the road from me now too. Yeah.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Hi, Sophie. Another Sophie lives around the corner from my Sophie.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: So Adelaide is a very small place.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: On the topic of names... How did you come up
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: with three girls' names?
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: They were actually easier to get than the boys' names.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I think if we had boys, they would have been
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: unnamed for quite a while. Kate has my name, Linda,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: as her middle name. So we were down to five names.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I think it was a matter of to and fro
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: with Dad and I. He wanted Sophie to be called
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Jane and I said, no, no, no. And I had
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: a beautiful patient when I worked at a dental clinic
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: called Sophie. And I just really, really liked her and
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: she was just beautiful. So I was really pushing for Sophie. Sophie,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you were either going to be Sophie or Lucy. Kate,
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I think dad probably liked the name Kate. I love
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: the name Kate too. And Amy was the name I'd
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: always loved from a long, long time ago. And in fact,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: we wondered whether we'd change it to Emma because we'd
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: loved Amy for so long. Anyway, that's what I did
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: for three and a half weeks in hospital was working
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: out names and your father would come into the hospital
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: after work and we'd discuss names. And because he was
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: a teacher and I worked with children, it was very
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: difficult to find a name of someone that we either
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: hadn't taught or treated that was nice. Before you actually
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: went home, I had to have two nights in the
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Queen Victoria Hospital with you children so that we could
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: bond and I'd just see how the night routine would go.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: The first night, I think the nursing staff got the
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: wrong information. They were told not to give me any help.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: So that night, I think I got about two hours
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: sleep and when the neonatal paediatrician, Dr Ross Haslam, wonderful man,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: came in the next day to see me, he just
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: took one look at me and said, what happened? I said,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I had no sleep and I felt terrible anyway. Well,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: that was how they did it back then.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he got a good night's sleep at home. And
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: those poor nurses from the night that didn't help me,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: I think they were given a rocket. So the next
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: night they could not be kinder to me. They all
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: came in, brought your children in, helped me feed. And
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: that's the other thing, feeding. I felt so much pressure
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: to breastfeed. Please don't feel pressured to breastfeed, especially if
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: you've got multiples. It was a nightmare and I carried on. breastfeeding,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: twin feeding for five months. And then I stopped and
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: then Sophie continued for seven months, single feeding, which was fine.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I am so sorry. No, no, it's fine. But we
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: had to top up feed all the time. I had
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: a really lovely calf's nurse, but she hadn't had children.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: She was quite a bit older than me. And I
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: think she was still reading from Dr. Spock's manual. And
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: so I wanted to give up breastfeeding because I was
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: so over it. And she just said, no, no, no,
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: you can't. You have to keep going. Keep going until
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: my next appointment with the specialist. When I went in
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: to see Dr Haslam, I said, oh, I can't do
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: this breastfeeding. He said, that's fine. That was it. That
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: was so good to hear. Now you touched on Dr Spock.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: And before this recording, you were telling me that Dr
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Spock was the Dr Golly of your day. Not as
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: visually attractive or not sort of as many.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: We'll have to.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Put up a photo of Dr Spock.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: He was probably what in his.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: 70s i don't know but he was the guru back
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: then and of course there's no internet so you would
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: get this book given to you with all of the
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: rules and regulations about bringing babies up so that's what
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: we had to use or you know listening to my
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: mom or my parents or your father's parents but that
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: was all we had no internet.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Was he big on the cried out method because i
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: feel like that was very of the time Look.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: I can't remember, but I had a friend come and
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: see me and told me to turn my intercom off. Thanks, Karen.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Which actually made you sleep. I don't know if that's
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: politically correct now. Well, you just couldn't hear us crying. No,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: we couldn't hear you crying. She used to come and
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: help me on a Friday morning. She said, turn that
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: thing off. Because I have, yes, we were a distance away.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, I always is in tune to hear you crying.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I would have gone in if you were desperately crying.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: But the good thing about having triplets was that you
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: would soothe each other. You would chat to each other.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Is it strange now to see us all as mums
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: and just how different it is in terms of the
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: white noise machine? Even the fact that we put the
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: babies down on their back, not on their side, which
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: you were told to do. There's so many different things.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely. So many different things. And you ask questions
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: of me. What did I do? And I'm thinking, I
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: have absolutely no idea. I can't remember anything. It's too
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: long ago. Everything has changed. The internet has changed everything.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: You can get an answer to your question really, really quickly.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Which is sometimes bad, I think, though, because I think, one,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: you're always feeling like you're not doing the right thing
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: or there's so much comparison going on.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I want to know what a typical day in the
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: life with newborn triplets look like.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I had a very nice calves group that would bring
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: around a meal once a week, which was just so kind.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: I had people sometimes pop in to help me feed
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: the third baby. So it was difficult because when I
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: was twin feeding, I had another baby that was crying.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: So my foot used to hold the bottle up and
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: balance it. I'd have you in a chair and my
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: foot would balance this bottle. The thing with twin feeding,
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: which I found difficult, was triplet feeding really, because you
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: would twin feed, you would rotate them. So one would
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: be breastfed for the second time. The bottle fed baby
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: would be back on the breast and And the breastfed
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: baby would be on a bottle. But you weren't all
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: hungry at the same time. It was really difficult.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: I assume you weren't doing Dr. Golley's burping method either, which.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. It was just throw it over your
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: shoulder with a nappy and hopefully you burped.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: That being said, though, because all babies at that time
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: were lying on their front because that was the sort
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: of safety method, then you were automatically burping anyway. So
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: that's why the burping method is so important now because
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: babies are on their back. So... Again, that probably wasn't
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: relevant then.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I was busy tucking you in with sheets and blankets
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: and having a jumper on if it was cold. It
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: was absolutely no-no now. Teddy bears around us. Teddy bears around.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Did you ever get us mixed up? Never. Never. Because
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I've seen photos where there was name tags on.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: When you came home, you still had a name tag
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: around your ankle, which we did leave on for a while.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: And we also had our. Just in case, but we
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: also had the capsules with names on them. So if
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: you picked up Kate and fed Kate, you put her
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: back in that capsule and kept going. Also, you did
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: have birthmarks, which if the tags had been... lost, we
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: would have been able to identify you.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: When I first had Harry and I had to take
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: him out for the day, I thought about you and
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how on earth did mum travel with three
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: car seats? Like, did you ever go out in the
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: first year?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Not a lot. I think the one thing I used
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: to look forward to is I made three beautiful friends
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: in the Queen Vic, Robin, Sue and Angela. Shout out
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: to them. They've all got multiples. And we used to
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: meet up every maybe six weeks and go to each
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: other's houses. And I do remember going to Angela's house
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: one day and knocking on the door and she said, oh, great,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: can you come in and watch my two plus my
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: three while I have a shower? We were just, you know,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: we just helped each other out and had, you know, just,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: had stories to tell each other. It was fantastic.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: It always sounds like the commune that we were talking about.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: It was episode two. It was Ruby Tuesday Matthews idea
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: of just women all living together with the babies, because
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: it sounds like having three, if you threw it in two,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: it sounded like it didn't even matter.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: You were just, no, whatever. Something that shocked me was
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: the fact that dad didn't have any parental leave. So
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: you were just there. at home by yourself with triplets.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: No one had parental leave. It was not a thing.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: So I can't actually remember the details, but you were
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: born on a Tuesday. So whether dad had a couple
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: of days off, probably, and then he would have gone
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: back to work maybe the following Monday. And he worked
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: at a school that wasn't close to home. It was
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: about 45 minutes away. And that was difficult.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Did you have a bit of resentment because you were
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: sort of left with it all?
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Not really. I think I just had to As one
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: of my twin friends said, you just have to bog
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: in and do it. You just have to do it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I wonder if maybe you didn't feel as much resentment
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: because it was sort of the done thing at the
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: time that most women stayed at home if they had kids.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: There wasn't really like childcare wasn't as prevalent as it
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: is now. But you were really the first generation of
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: women that went and had jobs.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Yes. Well, I did go back to work. I got
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: a year off. And I think I got 15 months
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: off in total. And I did go back to work
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: as a dental therapist one day a week. And my
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: beautiful parents came and had my dad organized his day.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: He was a university lecturer and he organized his day
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: so that he didn't have lectures on a Tuesday morning
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: when I went back to work. He would come for
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: the first shift, get you out of bed, change you,
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: feed you. And then mum would take over for the afternoon.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: And then Hugh was lucky that he had a closer
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: school by then. So he came home quite quickly. I
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: did it one day a week just to keep up
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: my registration.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: When dad got home, was it a bit of a
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: humble situation? It's like, now it's your turn.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, of course he wanted to see you and play
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: with you. So he was pretty good. And he was
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: really good overnight because obviously I can't feed three children
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: and change them. So we had a system going. whereby
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I would get up, I think there's a system, change them,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: put them back in and he would take them down
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: to the family room where I would start feeding and
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: of course he would have to feed. So he was
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: tired going off to work as well as me being
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: tired at home.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I heard that we were actually pretty good sleepers. You
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: told me recently that we used to wake up at
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: 8am and I was like, tell me your secrets. Is
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: that because the baby monitor was off?
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You were excellent sleepers what we used to do was
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: put a tape of beauty and the beast in the
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: tape recorder and you would sing along to that in
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: your cots and you actually put yourselves to sleep a
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: lot how old are we.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Then well toddler age oh okay yeah obviously having triplets
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: would be the most massive life change you could probably experience.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: How did it impact your sense of identity?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: To be honest, I think I was so tired I
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: didn't even think about that. But I think I was
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: encouraged to go back to work and SA Dental where
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I worked were very good and they allowed me only
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: to work one day a week. Usually you had to
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: work two days a week. I just couldn't do it.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: So they were very kind and allowed me to come
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: back one day a week for years actually.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: When did you think you felt like your old self
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: again or did you just sort of be too tired
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: to even know?
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I think I was probably too tired to even know
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: to be honest.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Was it a real treat getting to go to work
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: that one day a week?
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: It was absolutely a treat. I would have a cup
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: of tea at morning tea break and lunch break without
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: having to worry about where your children were, would I
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: burn you and just to sit and relax. There was,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: I remember one time dad and I went away for
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: our I think it was our 10th wedding anniversary and
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: you were quite young and my parents had you for
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: 23 hours. I remember, not 24, 23. We went down
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: to a place called Warina, which no longer exists, but
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: we sat down in this cafe there and I just
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: remember this energy coming out of my body, just sitting
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: down thinking, oh my goodness, I do not have to
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: do one thing that I don't want to do. or
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: look after any child. I still remember it was the
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: weirdest feeling.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: And did all you do was talk about us?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Of course. Of course, that's the only thing we talked about.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: But there were no mobile phones then, or no nanots
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: to look at, so we had no idea what was happening.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Well, that's where we're going to leave our chat with
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: our mum for today. We will be back next week
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: for part two, where mum dives into what it was
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: really like raising triplets. She also shares an iconic or
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: unhinged moment that she wants the Mums Group to weigh
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: in on. So you won't want to miss that episode.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed today's episode and we would love
• 25:28
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• 25:31
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• 25:33
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• 25:35
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• 25:42
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• 25:43
  Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on the traditional land of the
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains. We pay respect to
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: elders past and present.