Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Navigating a New Normal — Fearless Friday with Coach C

Transcript

Navigating a New Normal — Fearless Friday with Coach C · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we are realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Fearless Friday episode,
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  Navigating a New Normal.
• 0:21
  There are two things we know for sure about life. Life will change and life will change us.
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  Sometimes change happens by choice We choose to get married,
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  begin a new career, move to a new city, end a relationship Or welcome a child into our lives,
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  Other times change happens by chance or circumstance An unexpected illness,
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  an injury, a crisis, a diagnosis, a divorce we didn't plan The transition of someone we love.
• 0:56
  In some corporate environments, we call these life happens moments.
• 1:02
  But in reality, some of these moments are more than interruptions to our schedules.
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  They are life-changing and sometimes life-altering moments.
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  They divide our lives into before and after,
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  before the diagnosis and after it, before the loss and after it,
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  before the injury and after it,
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  before the marriage, the divorce, the child, the crisis, or the phone call that changed everything.
• 1:35
  And when life as we knew it no longer exists, we're left trying to figure out
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  how to live inside something we never expected.
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  We call it a new normal. That phrase sounds so simple, doesn't it?
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  But living it can be one of the most hardest things we will ever have to do,
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  because navigating a new normal means learning how to move through a life that
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  may look, feel, and function differently from the one we knew.
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  It may mean adjusting our routines, expectations, responsibilities,
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  finances, relationships, bodies, or dreams.
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  And sometimes while we're still
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  grieving what was, the world expects us to quickly adjust to what is.
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  But Coach C is here on this Fearless Friday to remind you, you can do hard things.
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  Not because hard things don't hurt, Not because you will always know what to
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  do and not because you'll handle every day perfectly.
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  You can do hard things because you can take the next step.
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  Even when you cannot see the entire road. Trust me, I know.
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  I've experienced every scenario I named, the transition of someone I love,
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  marriage, divorce, the birth of a child, illness, injury, and crisis.
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  I have navigated new normals I chose and new normals I never would have chosen.
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  And today, I am living years into realities that once felt unfamiliar,
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  frightening, and impossible.
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  That doesn't mean every change became easy.
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  It means I learned how to live forward.
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  And that's an important distinction. Your new normal does not require you to forget your old life.
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  It does not mean the loss no longer matters. It does not mean you approve of
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  what happened, and it does not mean you have to pretend everything is fine.
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  It simply means you are learning how to honor what was while making room for what is.
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  So how do we navigate a new normal?
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  Let's begin with three things. Take your time.
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  Take advantage of your tools and try it out.
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  First, take your time. You do not have to understand your entire new life today.
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  You do not have to have every answer by next week.
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  You do not have to heal, adjust, rebuild, or get back to normal according to
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  somebody else's timeline.
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  Because sometimes there is no going back.
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  And the pressure to become who you were before the life-changing moment can
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  keep you from discovering who you are becoming after it.
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  Give yourself permission to move slowly.
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  Grief is not linear. Healing is not linear. Adjustment is not linear.
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  You may have a strong day followed by a hard one.
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  You may believe you have adjusted only for a date, place, song,
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  bill, physical limitation, or unexpected memory to remind you that life is different.
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  That does not mean you are going backward. It means you are human.
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  Second, take your time, but keep taking steps. Take advantage of the tools available to you.
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  You are never required to navigate every new normal alone.
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  Your tools may include family, trusted friends, therapy, grief counseling,
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  a support group, medical care,
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  rehabilitation, financial resources, workplace accommodations, community programs,
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  prayer, or your faith community.
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  Sometimes your tool is simply a routine
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  that gives your day structure when everything else feels uncertain.
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  Using support does not make you weak. Asking for help does not mean you have failed.
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  A tool exists because some things are too heavy, too complex,
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  or too important to handle with one or with our bare hands.
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  Use the tools. Let people support you. Let professionals guide you.
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  Let your faith hold you when your own strength feels insufficient.
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  And if one tool does not work for you, that does not mean help cannot work.
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  It may mean you need a different tool.
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  Finally, try it out. A new normal cannot be fully planned from the safety of your thoughts.
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  At some point, you have to try living it.
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  Try the new routine. Attend the support group. Make the appointment. Take the walk.
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  Ask for the accommodation.
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  Accept the invitation. Create a new tradition.
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  Revisit something you enjoy or discover something completely different.
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  It may feel awkward because it is unfamiliar. It may not work perfectly the
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  first time. That is okay.
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  Trying something and deciding it needs adjustment is not failure. It's information.
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  Your first attempt does not have to become your forever answer.
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  Navigate means to determine your position, choose a direction,
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  and adjust along the way.
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  You are allowed to adjust. You are allowed to change your mind.
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  You are allowed to discover that what supported you last season no longer supports
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  you in this one, and you are allowed to create a life that looks different while
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  still being meaningful.
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  Here's your fearless homework. Create your new normal navigation map.
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  Take a sheet of paper and answer these four questions.
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  What changed?
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  Name the change honestly. Don't minimize it or rush past how it has affected you.
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  Two, what remains. Identify what is still true, stable, meaningful, and available to you.
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  Your life changed, but not everything about you disappeared.
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  Three, what tool do I need? Choose one form of support that could make this
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  transition lighter or more manageable, then take one step toward accessing it.
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  Four, what can I try? Choose one small action to experiment with during the
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  next seven days, not for the rest of your life, just for seven days.
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  At the end of the week, ask yourself, what helped?
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  What hurt? What needs to change? And what am I willing to try next?
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  Your assignment is not to master your new normal in seven days.
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  Your assignment is to stop expecting yourself to navigate an unfamiliar life
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  without time, tools, or practice.
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  Declare this with me.
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  I will give myself time to adjust. I will use the tools available to support me.
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  I will try, learn, and adjust without giving up.
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  My life may look different, but it can still hold meaning, purpose, joy and possibility.
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  I can do hard things. I am navigating my new normal and I am living fearless while I do it.
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  Your new normal may not be the life you planned, but with time,
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  support, faith, and the courage to keep trying, it can become a life you learn to live fully.
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  This is Coach C reminding you to decide, commit, and succeed,
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  and to live fearless through every season of change.
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  I'll talk to you next time, but in the meantime, keep learning, keep living.
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  This is Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always learning
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  and you're living your full experience.
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  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real
• 10:37
  Life, that's L-Y-F-E, for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
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  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.