Latest / The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy / 49| Who Are You Without the Labels? How to Stop Living for Everyone Else

Transcript

49| Who Are You Without the Labels? How to Stop Living for Everyone Else · The Wild Woman Within: Recover from Burnout & Achieve True Work-Life Balance Through Feminine Energy

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, hi! Hey! If you're new here, welcome to the Fitsin Project.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not, you already know we don't play small around here.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Rachel, corporate project executive by day, yoga teacher and retreat host by passion, and a woman wildly committed to helping you stop outsourcing your power.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: This show is where structure meets soul, where we regulate the nervous system and scale the business, and where we stop pretending burnout is normal.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Quick love to the humans and brands that brought this show.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually use all these in real life.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: One oak financial because money conversations should feel empowering.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Rage Create for bold creative entrepreneurs, The Expansion Room with Jennifer List, Lotus and Luna, Lifeform Yoga Mat Ma Ma Ma Rider Da, and Prana Yoga Wear and Breath Work with Tabitha De Bruin.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: She is a game changer.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Links are in the show notes.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Support the ones that support this work.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And all right, let's get it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about today.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Fits in Project.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Man, this weekend was one that I will never forget.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had my rooted with Fits in Retreat.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so uniquely just put together.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So as you know, I am new to retreat space.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm but I'm not new to holding spaces for people who need to be held.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've been a yoga teacher for almost a full decade now.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing yoga for longer than that.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a project manager, which I've been for over seven years.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I've just been able to put things together and see visions and be able to create things for people to complete these visions and in a project management sense, your own requirements and deliverables.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this retreat and hosting this retreat, the idea was sparked from my last retreat, which that idea was sparked from having the courage of wow, it is time.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Today is the day.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am here now.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that with such enthusiasm because there's no better time than the present.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, we need to have visions.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: We need to be able to see things that are in front of us and be able to carry out manifestations.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: But as you've learned through my previous podcasts with Heath Armstrong or Martin Williams or literally anyone that I've had on, you will find that common thread theme of being in the business of yourself means being present in your present moment so that you can take these moves, these inspired actions towards all the things and places you want to be.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And while doing so, you have to let go of energy that doesn't no longer serve the pace, the course, the direction of where you're going.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to kind of dive into uh one of the biggest themes of what that whole retreat was this past weekend because you know what?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was bizarre.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: When I made this retreat, I didn't really have the clearest vision.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I knew it was that I wanted it to be a place for people to stop being there for everybody else but themselves.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted a place for people to be totally authentically them and in the business of themselves.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I needed them to see that they weren't and how that was affecting their lives prior to them seeing being a yes to showing up.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in my community that's deeper than this podcast, you will know that that is the message that I sent.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was the vision that I carried, that was the inspired action from the vision that I had.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that, my friends, is how I even got to here to got here to begin with.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So from my last retreat, where I had the vision of, oh, I want to have a yoga retreat.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I want to have a place where people can go and relax and learn a little bit about themselves.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like an all-encompassing, um, everyone is welcome.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: This one in particular was super niche.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Niche.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you want to say.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is that why is that a word?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it was like um extremely pinpointed to those in my community who knew themselves and felt themselves that they weren't themselves, that there was something bigger calling on them, that there was something in their way of being them.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever that was, we totally dove into it and we cracked the lid, we cracked the egg, we cracked it wide open.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: The heart is no longer like cowcibide in those areas.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we went through energy levels beyond belief.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you what, I was actually extremely proud of my team and myself.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I, while this was a really small retreat, so was the last one.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're all very small.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna ever have more than 10 at a retreat at a time because that's that's the attention span that my team we can get in and we can transform.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the magic number for me.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if I ever have another, which I will, because obviously this is so much fun, so necessary and so impactful.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: There will be more in abundance, and I'll figure that out and let you know when it comes.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the point of the matter is 10.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's 10.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Limited to 10.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say it, it will be limited because you will come into this and then you will come out of it to totally different perspectives.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the biggest things was uh the labels that we carry, and they're not always ours, and then we adopt them and we agree to it.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you've ever read the book, The Four Agreements.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's um Don Miguel Ruiz, and he even talks about the labels and like, why are you attaching to these things?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, we got into that attachment process.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we didn't use the words, but I also recognized this isn't a retreat.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: A retreat to me is I get to go somewhere on a beach and retreat to being someone that is not my daily norm.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens when I am hosting this rooted with fits in this labeless activity, this labeless experience is we are acknowledging all of these things that we are coming into that we have been carrying around.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: That that's basically we uh put it in our suitcase every single day, and we attach it to our hips, we attach it to our shoulders, and then we wonder why we ache.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's all of these labels that were given to us from like who knows when?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um you're too emotional, you're too ambitious, you're too quiet, you're too controlling, you're too sensitive, you're too loud, you're too crazy.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: All of these.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a woman, I'm sure you've heard them all.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've heard them all, you know, like we're supposed to be able to stand on our own two feet, make all of this happen, a dream come true for our kids, but no be too ambitious about that.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: You will not make more money than the man of the house.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even think about having an emotion and then teaching your kids emotional intelligence.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even think about having a voice that you will be too loud.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then you wonder why your kids are so quiet.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even think about questioning my authority.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be too sensitive.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then you wonder why you're a sheep.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: These labels.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: They hurt and we carry them on purpose for what reason we carry them, but because the real question is who am I without the labels?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I if I'm not a grandmother or daughter taking care of her elderly mother or a co-worker or the stay-at-home mom and wife and caretaker of the two dogs?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I if I'm not the nurse taking care of everybody else?
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: One of the funnest things is my mom is a holistic coach and she coached these sessions, and I'm oh my gosh, so grateful.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because these are like my takeaways that I noticed around um everybody showing up.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she was asked, one of her stories was she was asked by a friend of the family, like, so you just quit your job, and now what are you gonna do?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Who what are your hobbies?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: What do you like to do?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And when she had first quit attend the podcast previous, this is no new news if you follow this podcast.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is, is she's like, I don't know.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what I like to do.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've always been told what I like to do.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what my hobbies are.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: I've never given myself the time to figure it out.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And from that realization alone that sparked her interest to step into the power and the true authenticity and the real direction that she's in today.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And for the first time in years, she's able to take a breath and lead a breath workshop and lead people into their breath.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: How empowering is that, you know.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: One of the biggest things she uh talked about was how to live with your lid open.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: She used Frederick Douglass as an example during her coaching session of the slaves and how they were free, but yet they didn't go.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like how bizarre, how ironic is that you fight so hard for freedom, and then when it's granted, you can't, you don't go.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: The lid is removed and you don't go.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the paradox and the irony of all of this is every single one of us in the world, we have our lid open and we don't even peek our head up above the rim of the bucket or the rim of the box to see what's out there.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: The lid is this like pretend glass ceiling.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: But really, if you stick your hand up, there is no glass ceiling, there's no time, there's nothing there.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing there.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: We allow ourselves to be put into these labels and into these boxes, and most of us go through life with this pretend lid closed, protecting ourselves, managing this perception that's not real, and we're trying to control how we're seen.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, honest, honestly.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you hear the words out of my mouth?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's the truth.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's the truth.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And when the lid is open, do you know what gets to happen?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: When your lid is open and you're living without these labels, guess think about what happens.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your curiosity starts to happen.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: You begin to be a little bit childlike.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You get a little bit of play, you know.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Possibility.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: You ever heard that term in this podcast before?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Possibility, live with possibility.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: These are high frequency terms.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: They're not buzzwords, they're real, they're action.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is what life can be, because there is no real lid on you.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And there is no real lid and label except the ones that you allow yourself to attach to, the ones you subscribe to.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I am a mother on purpose.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am a mother.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'll take that label all day long every day.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: But I am also me.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a divine light.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a human having an experience.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I am also here to be delighted in life every single day.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: My delight today, I stepped outside and it is beautiful.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's 75 degrees and sunny.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know me, you know that is my favorite song, and it's also my favorite kind of day.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I did yoga on my deck during my lunch break, and I do not care.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, if I'm working, you're my client.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I am my own self.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I am the one that leads my life.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And because I know this about myself, I give you permission to do the same because you can.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a mind flip, it's a mindset, it's a mind game.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: All this is is how you're gonna look at it.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna look at it with a label and your lid shut, or are you gonna take the label off, screw the label, take the lid off, and that didn't even exist to begin with?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And let's see how curious you can be with your life.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see what kind of growth is gonna replace this protection and fear and possibility that gets to replace your limitations that you put on yourself.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: An open lid here, you're willing to see yourself differently than you did yesterday.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's what an open lid means.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: That you're willing to see yourself differently than you did yesterday.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then when that happens, like it did this weekend, in a room full of people doing the same thing.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, the crystal bulls started making their own music, people.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: The energy was unreal and it was felt.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a collective that gave the permission to evolve together, and that is exactly what happened.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: That power of shared courage.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: My gosh.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: That power of shared courage in my labeless retreat that I didn't even know was a labeless retreat.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: The rooted with fits in, we rooted down.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: We rooted down.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't powerful because of these activities that we did.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah, we did the breath work, we did the yoga, we did the reflection, we did deep conversations.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I did a badass sound bad.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: That let me tell you, not just once, but twice.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And those activities, they were great, but it was powerful because people were brave enough to show up honestly.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that was that's the truth of it.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: It gained its power because when these women they showed up and they were crying because I don't know why I'm here, I just know I need to be those words ready to crack their entire heart open so their soul can shine, so their soul can dance, so their soul can be delighted and in love and in joy every damn day, one percent better every single day.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: They were brave enough to show up honestly as themselves without any attachment to the labels that they thought they needed to get there.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when one person let their lid open, it gave the next person permission to do the same.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then suddenly we were in the room where nobody was pretending anymore.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody was pretending anymore.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the transformation that happened.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: That was the golden ticket of the whole entire weekend.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Being there with all of those strong, powerful women.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: The life force that caused and changed in my own self, my own body, my own energy.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: That was real transformation for me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not when someone tells you who to be, but how we remembered.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: We remembered.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: We remembered who we were before the world told us what we had to be.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a fact.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we walked away with.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't learning something new.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: The women that came were far beyond our years.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're not we're not here to learn more.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're not here to learn anything new.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's not the case.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how I lead.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest takeaway from all of it, it was remembering that we were allowed to evolve beyond the labels we once believed were permanent.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: That was the biggest thing.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what it's like coming to a fits-in experience.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what it will be like the next time and the next time and the next time.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because this energy, it's a ripple effect.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna go out into the world.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna feel it just like they felt it all weekend long.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when we come together again for the next one, oh hang on, hang on, friends.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because this remembering this is powerful.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: This permission of the lid and the knowledge that it's not real, also powerful.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: And moving from that authentic place, undeniable and unmistaken.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where I'm coming from, and that's how I'm stepping into my days ahead.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that 1% change that I got, mmm.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you can hear the fire in my belly, because that's exactly where it's coming from.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's that kundalini energy, baby, all the way from the root.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Coming up and out the crown.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to take a moment to think a few things that I brought to this retreat.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: For one, Rage Create made our whole entire time.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: It was so fun and so funny reading these affirmation cards.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, the ones that I drew from that deck, right on and on point with the themes that I had already laid out for the day, it literally was serendipitous.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want to know about your own affirmation deck, the links in the show notes.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: Another one that I want to thank is Lotus and Luna because you know for a fact.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: My mom and I wore the fair trade clothes all weekend long, and it is the most comfy retreat leader.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be a leader in your goddess power energy?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Go to Lotus and Luna and find your own robe and harm pants because ten on ten, you won't regret it.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: They're the best.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, that's a wrap for today.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a great week with love and light.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Always let's bring it in.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And seal this beautiful session, this beautiful retreat recap that's now label this with an own.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Take a breath.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: The light in me sees and honors the light in each of you.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: We share the same light.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Namaste.