Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / Hollywood, Trauma & Transformation with Crystal Stewart

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Hollywood, Trauma & Transformation with Crystal Stewart · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all.
• 0:01
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  Speaker 1: Welcome to jess Hell with Doctor J, a production of
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. What's up, good people,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: It is Doctor J and we're back for another episode
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: on Just Here with Doctor J. And I am excited
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: about today's guests. Some of you may know her as
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Mallory with the Man That Look, but today she's Crystal Stewart,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: the phenomenal actress, former Miss USA, and today we get
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: to sit down and have a conversation about healing, a
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: conversation about life, and a conversation about what's happening and
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: how she's navigating her mental health journey. Speaking about her
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: character on Beuty and Black, which is a phenomenal show.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You are phenomenal.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Like for me, thank you.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Every time you walk in a row, I'm like terrified.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: You're scared of I'll be scared of Mallory. Maybe you
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: feel scared of me after this season?
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Right? So right, Like you know, what is your process.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Of getting that character? Yeah? I think it depends on
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: the scene. Mallories such the opposite of who I really am.
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: And as you know, I don't even curse, you know,
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: or anything, and I feel like I'm kind and warm
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: to people, and she's the opposite. So some of the
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: things we have in common, as our business savvyess, our assertiveness,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: you know, go get her. But the other things I
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: had to adjust because it's just really not my personality.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: But I'm not tress, so it's fine. So I try
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: to tap into a place that I don't want to
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: go back to, you know. But for instance, had this
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I had a very emotional scene this season, for season two,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: part two, and I remember Tyler was like, you know,
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: really want to go there. I was like, you know what,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: let's do it. You know, I'm crying. It's emotional. My
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: husband cheating, I'm losing the business, you know, all this
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: stuff with Mallory, let's go there. And I feel it
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: was a good time to show Mallory's vulnerability because she's
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: always tough on the surface.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Right, she is not vulnerable at all at all. She
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: really needs therapy. Tell her to come see.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Me, right, yeah, Mallory, And that'd be a good conversation.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: But to tap in So I tapped into just some
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: traumas and different situations that happened to me about two
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: years ago to really get the emotion and the truth
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: and authenticity of that scene because some people some fans
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: of each other. I got to really filter in that
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: scene because I'm like, girl, it was true, you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: I was crying and really it was therapeutic for me
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: actually in the talk it through through that scene. So
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I just try to tap into different situations in life
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: just to give an authentic performance.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, And I want to ask you this. I've
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I acted for like ten years and I just got
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: back into it like a few years ago. They kind
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: of brought me out, Okay, tire train, all those different things,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: and also being a doctor and a therapist and all
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: those I understand sometimes that war between who you are
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: in reality and who you have to be on set.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like what Mallory had to experience and
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: how you tapped into some of your own personal experience
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: and I think Michael B. Jordan talked about having to
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: go to therapy after certain roles. Do you feel like
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: that's going to become the norm eventually?
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: With some It depends on how deep you go because so,
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: for instance, we shoot so quick with Tyler, so that
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: was like one take. To be honest, a lot of
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: times you have to take after take after take and
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: you will need therapy. If I had to sit there
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: and cry and sit in that emotion, that true emotion
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: for me, that long take, after take after take, I
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: could definitely see me going to you know, therapy out
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: just make sure I'm you know, yeah good.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: What's kind of like what are imitations of life? Right?
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: So exactly? You know, some of there's method actors that
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: really they you know, they're the character on screen and out,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: you know, after throughout the film period, which is difficult.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: I'm not a method actor. I'm like, I cannot be Mallory.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: My boy worked with Denzel and work with Injurious and
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: and he said he was on set when it was
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Felming an American gangster, and he was like, Bro, Denzel
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: was Frank Lucas for four months. Wow. He was like,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: you couldn't call him Denzel, Like you call it that,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: you have to call.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Him Frank, hands down to Denzel that, but I can't
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: you if you called me Mallory for four months, are
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: gonna be burning out something, killing people you know, how
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: do I stay in that character all the time. So
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: I had to figure out a way, like how do
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I you know, you know, zoom in and hone in
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: on her and and get back to Crystal, which are
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: two polar opposite you know, people in characters.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: And I think in some way it actually allows Dollary
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to kind of really have her own space, you know what,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: you can separate that, And I think that's too. That's
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: the joy about creating arts when it's completely opposite of
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: who a person really is, you know what I mean.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: And yeah, and I have worked with some people where
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: it's like, no, that's you, nigga, you're right right.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Well, some people question that, like, no, that's really how
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: she is. And I take it as a compliment because
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Okay, that means I think, I guess I'm
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: doing the job, you know. So I'm like, they're like,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: she really is like that and she has to be.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not at all, you know, but I'll
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: take it as a compliment. But it's it's it's a
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: fun role to play, you know. Like I said, I
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: don't curse, I don't smoke. I learned how to smoke
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: on set.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I just saw a video where you.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Just and I was like, y'all, I gotta record this.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: They're like once so they were making fun of me
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: because they said the way I was, I was like,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: what gave it away? And some of the fans are all,
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: we knew it because the way you were holding I'm like,
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: how you hold a cigarette? I put it in between
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: You're supposed to bend the index finger and I was like, y'all,
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: you know then smokers.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Look, but yeah, when you when you come out of shooting, like,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: what is your process to kind of level set? Wow?
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: First I take off all the clothes and everything, wash
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: off my makeup, and just sitting some holy water because
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: she probably you know, she was cussing the whole citting
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: and everything. Right, No, but it's really I normally had
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: we excuse me. We shoot so quick, you know that
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: you don't have time to just sulk in that emotion
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: or whatever that scene was. So we go in, we eat,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: I speak with the cast, have a good time to
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: read direct because my next scene I may be laughing
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: and joking with Varney. Yeah, and right before that, I shot,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: you know, in the car with him crying my eyes out,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: so you don't have time to just sit in that.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now are you as you're in this season of
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: your life? I mean you were the first black Miss Usa.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I mean you Miss Texas is when I met you
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: years ago, and just to see what.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Years ago, well say a year ago, a year ago,
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: he said, years I'll.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Just get it.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I'll get it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, let me say this. We look phenomenal
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: for our thing, like we're gonna say that, so you know,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: but when you think about your career and just what
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: you've done, are you proud?
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: I am? I actually am. We posted something on Instagram
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: and it was me as like a baby, and then
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: just the progressions of my life and the accomplishments from
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: winning Miss Texas, which took me five years to win,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: as you know, and being the first, but well the
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: second black woman. The first one was Chelsea Smith Rist
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: her soul she passed away, but she was biracial, and
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: that's what she claimed herself as is biracial. And I'm
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: not biracial. I'm black and blacker. So it's like, you know,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: so to say I was the first black woman to
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: win Miss Texas and only recently, I think last year
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: they had another black winner. So it's been all that time,
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: so to see their complimition to go on to actually
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: run the entire national organization, you know, years after that,
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: you know, being the president of Miss USA and then
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: going into a number one Netflix series. Yeah, I have
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: to pat myself on the back, but you know, you know, yeah,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: and you know with those a complimitions, but I always
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: want more. I'm very ambitious, so I'm like, there's something
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: more out there for me. So I pat myself on
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: the back, like the job Crystal, but what else is
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: out there? You know, for you?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I love that. I'm the same way, but
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: what what does more look like?
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: What does Moore look like? For me? Right now? And
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I set goals for myself. It's producing. People would think
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: that I love being in front of the camera, which
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: I do. I love it, but I've done it, so
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: now I want to be behind the camera. And He's
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: a show that I'm super excited about. I have a
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: great idea for and ready for the world to see.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: So to put my producing hat on because I produced them.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Its USA Bageant, the national live you know television show
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: within Miss teen USA. So fifty one contestants in another
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: fifty one contestants for teen Live Broadcast Everything. So I've
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: done it before, but I want to do it for
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: or a different audience and a drama series.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what. I'm gonna tell you what
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I noticed that this is the therapist in me. Okay,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: you're gonna do phenomenal at producing. I'm gonna tell you why.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Okay why your eyes lit up when you said producing,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: And you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: See I'm excited about it, right. I like putting things
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: together and making it work. I can make anything work.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: You give me something, I'm gonna make it look good
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: and it's gonna work. You know. I'm just that dedicated
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: to whatever I see and I feel God when it's
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: in me, I feel God gave it to me, and
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: nothing's gonna let it fail. Yeah, it's not gonna And.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: What people don't realize, and I'll say this to those
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: as you're watching this, I think when you really tap
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: into what your uniqueness is and that thing that jen
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: a sa qua, that thing that you do that nobody
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: else can do it like you. Even if they do it,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: it doesn't have your sauce. Man, you can't imitate.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: You can't. And that's why people don't tell that I didn't.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I might.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: This is for me. If you can do it, If
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: it's that easy for you to do it, I don't
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: need to be doing it.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Look, look right right, that easy for you to just
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: take it and do it, then I don't need to
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: be doing it anyway, you know. So yeah, oh yeah,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: even if I did it, it's not going to be
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: like don't make me get look, come on preaching. It's
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: not going to be like the way I would do it.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: All right, have it in my mind. I see it,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I can taste it, I can feel it. Remember, I
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: grew up a competitor. I'll compete it in track and pageants.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: I have endurance, you know as well. So I'm in
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: it for the long run and when again, when God
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: gets me my vision or this vision, it's just for me.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: No right, listen. I don't know if y'all feeling this energy,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: but if you sitting at home, if you're in your car,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: listen to this. This ought to make you get up
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: and go do something, do something, go do something.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: You gotta try it. I'm but I'll try anything once,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: but I don't like I just wanna do it again, you.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Know, what I've learned is to fail well.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Driving some said to fail okay, what does that mean
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: to you? Didn't like breaking down to fail with?
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: So to fail well is we often look at we
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: attach a very negative connotation to failing, yes, because we
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: feel that we didn't hit the goal. But sometimes failing
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: is not about hitting the mark. Sometimes failing is about learning.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: And if you fail well, you're able to abstract the
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: lessons from what you're trying to achieve. Like and I
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: think if we've removed just like I gotta get this,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I gotta get that. Sometimes it's not really about getting it,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: it's about understanding it. Because if you get it and
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: you didn't understand the lesson, you don't know how to
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: sustain it exactly. So failing well allows you to say,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: you know what, what a lesson in this? And then
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: then then here's a question, like I asked most people
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: in therapy, like people go through life changes or transitions,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: or it's like, well, I feel like a failure failure,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: and well, because it wasn't this, and it was isn't that?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: And I said, but what makes you think that that's failure?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: And most of the time, Chrystal, we have adopted this
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: idea of how it's supposed to be.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, of how it's supposed to be. And that's
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: when you don't see that and that didn't happen, that's
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: when you say, okay, I failed. I love that. Okay,
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: uh huh. I always find it. To me, failure is
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: like I don't say failure. It's just a redirection of
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: a path. It's a pivot.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: For me.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: It's just a pivot like that didn't work. Let me
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: pivot to something. That's it else, you know. And I
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: learned from whatever that pivot or mistake or failure, you
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: know what you call it. I learned from those, you know,
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: situations as well.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: When when I was I was in Houston, when I
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: went to therapy, that's been about.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: That was in You go to therapy too, So doctors
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: go to the therapist, go.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: To So I don't know if you know much about
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: my story, but after football, tempted suicide, fail, and then
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: several years later I had another attempt and failed in Sugarland.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: I did not know and so you know, people saw this,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: this this athlete, this former former football player, and from
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: the outside, you know, you know, I'm a decent looking guy,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: So you wouldn't you wouldn't have thought that something was wrong.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: But childhood traumas and for me, football gave me this
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: space to hide. It was how I cope, you know,
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And it was it was it was a way that
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I could mask. And then when football was over, and
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I say this often, is that for for most people,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: whether it doesn't have to be sports, it can be
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: anything where you feel like you have belonging. Okay, when
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: we lose what is familiar and we find ourselves on
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: the outside, it feels like you've been ostracized.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: You want to go there? No, Yeah, no, I wanted to. Yeah,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: you feel like if.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: It's after my second attempt, I was found under bed
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and I travel all over the country talking about this
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: and my work with supporting and advocating and pushing me
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: to go to there. Because whatever is unhealed in you
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: will be projected in and through you, and particularly in
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: your relationships, and you're in a person relationships, because what
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: happens is the pain that you are concealing also becomes
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: a pain that you CAUs. You better.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're going, We're gonna go there today. Okay, keep going,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: keep going. I'm listening.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I am listening, and so I finally made a decision
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: as a man to say, I gotta get some help
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: because I had I had deep daddy issues, okay, and
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: my daddy issues was that my father was a pastor.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: He divorced my mom, but my father. I carried my
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: father's name, but my father, for some reason, it always
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: felt like he didn't like me, okay, and so and
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: him being a pastor, I saw him be a great
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: father figure to so many.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: And then why not you?
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: And so when football was over, I felt like I
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: didn't belong anywhere. Because when you don't have a sense
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: of identity, and this is why I think, and particularly
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: for the women who are watching, I'm gonna help you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: all out today's sisters. Any man that does not have
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: a sense of identity, he can become dangerous to your purpose,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: your calling, and your destiny.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: We're gonna go there today, I got. We're gonna go
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: there today. We're gonna be talking how long we got.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I am listening, okay, because I needed some
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: answers for some things, you know, in regards to men
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: in the situation I was in, and just again that
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: belonging like you said, and I've never attempted suicide. My
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: grandfather committed suicide? Is that the proper? Here's something you
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: don't say, committed suicide. What do you say, died way
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: of suicide? Die by way of suicide. You're gonna say
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: he died by way of suicide. So I never met him,
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: but I know that, you know, mental health depression runs
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: in my family, so I don't play with it, right,
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: so my mom told me that. So, but there was
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: one time in my life, and it's just two years ago,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: and I always thinking, I'm like, two years ago, what
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: a low place I was in. Absolutely lost everything at
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: one time, my business, money, family, everything all at was
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: everything I built up over the years throughout the pageant,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: everything just came crumbling down. I remember sitting outside of
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: my house because the last thing I had left was
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: my car. I was going to pick it up from
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: the house that was gone, and I looked, I'm like,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I have literally just lost everything that I worked for
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: for twenty plus years all gone, negative hundred dollars in
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: my account. And I remember going to pick up my
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: son and there was a train coming and I was
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: like for a split second, but it made me understand
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: someone that's going through something really tough in their life
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: to make me understand, you know, suicide and just those thoughts.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Because it's before this, I'm like, ahh, you know, why
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: would someone you know kill them? So get the help.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: It made me understand that feeling and especially if you
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: don't have a way to climb out of it or
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: that support, you know whatever. I'm like, man, I get it.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: So I was sitting in front of this train in
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: my car thinking I'm doing fine. I was like, I'm strong,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I'm strong, I'm gonna get through this. And for a
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: split second, I was like, what if I just just
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: drive this car right in front of this train, everything
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: would end, So everything, all the herd, all the everything
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: would just end for you. And I remember thinking in
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: that second, like if I just pressed this gas right
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: now because it was coming and just go right in
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: front of it, all your problems would go away. And
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I feel it was my faith, my rooted faith for sure,
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: my rooted rooted faith in God for my parents, that
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: in God that made me not press on that break
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: to go because everything was crumbling, and not only in
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: silence but publicly and the pain so I couldn't suffer
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: the pain. In private, I'm a very private person. If
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: my friends would no, I'm very private, and it was
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: so public, you know, internationally, that I couldn't even suffer,
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: you know, in private, it was very public, and I
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: felt if I just pressed that gas, everything you know,
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: wou go away. But in that instant it made me
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: realize this, the mental health and the importance of a
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: support system and help. And I knew I had support
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: at home. I knew I needed to live for my kids.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I knew. I'm like, no, God is not going to
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: let me go out like this. He ain't gonna let
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: me go out like this. He's not gonna give me
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: everything that I ever wanted, Jay, everything that I ever wanted,
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: and it's gone like that, everything gone. And so I
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: knew he wouldn't do that. I was like, if you
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: could just stay strong long enough and focus, Chris, so
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: just focus, don't read anything, no art, just focus, focus
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: on your kids, focus on God. Just focus. You'll get
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: out of this. God's going to bring you out of this.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: He is.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: He's not gonna be hanging. You have proof of that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: But he's done that before.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, proof back, go back, go back, you got proof.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Proof you have to listen to, you know what the
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: things that have happened in the past. It's like, you know,
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: David and Goliath. David was prepared to fight Goliath because
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: the things that he did, wasn't even thinking. He was
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: in the wilderness slinging that sling shot the whole time, preparing,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: you know, for that moment right there, that one sling
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: shot in that rock. He had prepared for so he
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: got it exactly right. So God was telling me, I
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: prepared you for this. It took you five times and
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: win the sexiest five. I was preparing you for the
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: storm of how to stay persistent and keep going and
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: stay strong when you were distraught. It would take a
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: year after year I would see my friend winning. I'm like, God,
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: why not me, you know? And so when that moment happened,
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: I stayed focused and I remember driving through Sunset and
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: seeing my billboard up there and being number one on
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Netflix just two years after. And not only did I
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: lose one home, but now I have two. This is
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: God and what he can do for you if you
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: stay persistent and you focus.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Right, we get closer to the mic, put my preaching
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: voice in. I know this may be loud in your ears, Joe.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: But did y'all hear that? This is why you can't
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: count yourself out when something is removed, because sometimes he
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: removes something to give.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: You better, to give you much. Bemade you said, I
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: was about to get up to give you much bigger.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I would have never imagined he would give me way
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: more everything. They would call me job if you don't
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: joke in the Bible. He lost everything. Everything is family,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: every thing. And I'm sitting there and not knowing. I'm like,
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: he has something so much bigger. He needed to get
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: all that out of the way. I needed to leave
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: my relationship. You know, all those things. I have something
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: waiting for you and what you have right now and
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: the way you are right now. That was a bit naive.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: It was a business owner, but very trusting and giving.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: And you know, it's like, we got to tweak some
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: things before I can give you what you're about to
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: go to. And I needed to go through that heart
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: he has. He gives me hard lessons. And now because
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I don't listen, he's okay, I'm gonna show you don't
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: have to listen. I told you to leave him. Now
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: you have to what you're gonna do now, You're gonna
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: have to let everybody.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Know, you know, So I want to go back to
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: that part, okay, right, because sometimes it's not easy when
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you hear God give you direction or give you instructions,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: it's hard. It's hard to wait. So when he said
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: that to you, you need to leave. I what went
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: through your mind?
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: I just saw my family crumble, you know, two little kids,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: house together, businesses together. When he when I heard that,
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I should have listened a long time ago when he
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: first said it, right, but since I didn't, like I said,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: then he rocked my world. He's like, you're gonna listen
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: to me, so you need to do it now or later,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: but you're gonna listen. And so it was I was afraid.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, and that's what we all are. We're afraid
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: because you don't know what they unknown is.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: I was just about to say, you don't know what
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: the future holds. So you're like, wait, I'm just have
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: to trust in you. Got like that's it. Yeah, that's
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: what he wants you to do. I just want you
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: to trust in me. I have it taken care of.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: I just need you to do this. And he's gonna
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: stay on you until you do, and he did and
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: just stayed on me and stayed on until he's like, Okay,
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: you're not moving until I'm about to blow this whole
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: thing up. You're gonna move, and Dad, he did.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I was in therapy yesterday, right, okay, And because I
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: my therapist is in San Diego, so I cold I
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: go to San Diego like once before.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: We go there in person. Yes, okay, we.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Do virtual sessions, but once a quarter I fly and
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: spend like five days in Sant Diego and I'll go
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: to see her. And she's a psychologist, black woman, and
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: we're talking and she's breaking me down about the transitions
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: and she's telling me what she sees and because she's
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: a spirit led psychologist, so which I like having, I know,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: the clinical, which I let her do a thing because
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: when I go in there, I'm not doctor j I'm
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: just a man trying to navigate my life but also
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: navigate God doing this with my life while also wanting
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: to hold to things that are familiar. And he's doing
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: exactly that. And I said, I said, doctor Town, I said,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: you know what. I was in prayer and God spoke
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: to me. He said, you believe me, he said. You
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: believe me with all your heart, he said, but now
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: I need you to trust me.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: Now, oh we are Oh yes, are two different things,
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: two different things. And faith isn't the absence of fears?
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: How you overcome it and how do you move forward?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: And I was like my therapist raised up. She says, wow,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I said, it hit me in my stomach. He said, Oh,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: you believe me, he said, but you got to move
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: from belief to trust. And that trust is that you
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: got to be able to free fall. And what I've
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: told you that I was going to do free fall,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: and that free fall is like and the free fall
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: is not looking to see if he'll catch you. The
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: free fall is knowing that he won't let you hit
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: the ground.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I had a clap.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Yes. So yes, hearing you and your testimony is encouraging
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: to me because God has ripped several thing and and
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: and and here's here's what y'all got to understand a
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: lot of time. It's not even the stuff that he's
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: trying to rip away from you. It's the people.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Ye yep, oh yeah, it's the people. And it just
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: comes there, you know, collateral damage that comes with it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: HM.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: He needed. I could have kept the house like we
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: just got. I'm sorry, that's clad I got it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Because even if you keep your house, it's still attached
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: that he all of.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Us gone done, period, He's everything gone. He said, we're
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: starting from scratching. You're gonna trust me. Everything gone. And
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I'm so terrified to this day with some things, you know,
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: moving forward. But now I'm like, Okay, you've proven yourself
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: multiple times. Guys, just keep moving forward, Crystal say focused.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: And now I know. I had a hard time Jay
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: figuring out how God spoke to me though. Wow, honestly,
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: you know, you know, because I would be I'd be
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: waiting for an answer and I would think I got
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: heard him. I heard him and I got this answer,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, well, wait, it didn't come to fruition.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: I thought I heard you, and it would really disappoint me,
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: to be honest.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had that.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm like, okay, how are you speaking to me?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: So I found the way, like, Okay, I feel this
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: is the way God speaks to me. It's not always
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: waiting for this answer, like he's gonna drop down something
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: and come down and you know, he probably already gave
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: it to you're not even paying attention. Yeah, and may
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: not whisper in your ear. Sometimes people hear him right,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: he speaks to me in a different way. So it's
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: some some something very important about finding a way that
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: God communicates with you.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: And it's not all the same.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: No, it's not right because sometimes I feel that it
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: can be audible where you hear him, and sometimes I
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: can feel like a tug.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's how I feel it, like you gotta go
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: right exactly. It's a fire, it's something, yeah, and it's
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: like it's it's it's it's that it's a tug for me.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: That's how I listen because I thought it was audible.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: And at some point when I was like listening to you,
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: if this wasn't you who's talking to me, then I'm like,
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: I don't think you audible for me. So what I
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: found is that he'll place something on my heart any
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: one bow way that fire again from the past with
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Missus Texas, I had Deacon tell me I should give up.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: I Deacon told me. I think they meant well, but
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: like God, God told that deacon that I should stop competing.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: Because it took me five times you know, year after year,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: few years to like, I think you should try something else.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: God told me to give up and I'm like okay,
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: and I'm like and to get to keep going. After
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I was told that I had and I prayer, I said, God,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: I still have this fire inside of me, you know,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: he said trust that and I did and that's when
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I won that next year.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: So I'm finn give your word.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: The reason it took five times, you know what the
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: number five means, grace, your grace for it.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I literally just heard that. Your grace for everything. That's
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: why what should have took you out didn't. What should
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: have gave you a nervous breakdown, any other woman would
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: have had a nervous breakdown.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: You have to make me cry because wow, I.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Really feel this in my spirit to share this with
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: you any other woman, even the things like there are
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: things that got out in public, but then there's things
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: in private that would they've broken that average woman down. Wow,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: your grace or so never forget that number five, that
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: five years you are grace, grace, you have the grace
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: for it. And this is what people don't realize is
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: that you you have to be grace to do certain things.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: This is why somebody can come and do something similar.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: We got because I wasn't planning on crying today, Like
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: what does this? Thank you?
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I just felt like wow, I really felt led and
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: and as you were speaking, and this is why I
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: tell people, if you're not grace for something, it'll take
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: you out.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: It's gonna take you out. Oh I should have so
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: many people say well, I wouldn't have been able to
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: make it through that so much happening at once. At
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: some point I did. I remember sitting in my car
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: and I went to a park in the dark. I
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: remember this, and I was staring at a tree and
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: just ball in my eyes because I'm not a crier.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: And I held it for a while because it's something
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: about just you know, my mom black southern, you know
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: from Chicago, so you're just strong black women, and for
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: some reason I just don't let out cries and I
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: was holding strong. And I went to this in my
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: car in the dark, looking at a tree after I
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: lost everything and just broke down crying because I did
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: not understand why. I felt like I committed murder. But
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: not only did I not commit the murder, I tried
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: to help the victim, you know, you know in the day,
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: so not only and I'm getting blamed for things that
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: weren't true. It just was so much coming at me.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: And again I heard that whisper. You know that you
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: were made, you were made for You're going to get
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: through this. I've already proven that.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Team, and I heard that when you when you said
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: that that you know that you you heard that, which
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: is why that five is significant because if you're made
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: for something, that means your graceful.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Wow, I did not know that about the number five
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: is exactly five years. Yeah, and it just opened the
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: floodgates after that, after that five open And You're right,
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: I can handle a lot of things now because of that.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: I can get through it. He has that proof. It
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: is like I've shown you this. I knew you were
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: going to go through this. You're prepared for it.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Just stay focused, and I think in some way right.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I remember being in prayer once because like whenever, when
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: whenever I read the Bible, I read from a very
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: pictorial and I asked questions from a therapeutic lens. And
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: one day I will say God, like Joel was minding
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: his own business. I said he was minding his own business.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Like here here, here, here, here, here's the story. The
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: devil is just roaman, like a goon, just like uh
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: just I heard it just on the prole, just like
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I said, God, you
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: offered Job up. This man was mine his business. And
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I said, it's interesting because I'm like, why would you
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: offer this man up to come in and wreck his life?
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: He was doing great? People need to they need to
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: read the story of Job. Yeah, so you can know
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: the con He was.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: A noble man, a good man, good I mean, a
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: good dude. He's a good father, a good provider, he's
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: a good you know what I'm saying, good husband. So
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: go you know, I mean, like, why are you bothering
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: this man? And God said to me, he said, I
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: chose him because I knew he would respond the way
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: that he did. And he said, the devil didn't know.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: But it was a fixed fight.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: My gosh, A fixed fight, A fixed fight, Oh my gosh, Jadas.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: He knew that you would listen. He knew, and he
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: knew that you would listen, so he can do what
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: he's doing now in your life, and that it's getting
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: the glory because how do you explain two years ago,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I'm rock bottom rock and now you're looking at a
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: billboard with the number like you can't found that.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Oh no, no, I knew. I'm like, God, you're gonna
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: have to do something so big. So people not wanted him,
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: so people knew it was him. I didn't want something, Oh,
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: you're just I was like, no, I want something big
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: so people know that it's God, because some stuff you
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: can do on your own. I need something big to
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: where it's very obvious that it was God did this.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: You don't come from negative three hundred dollars to own
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: in two homes into you you know that's God.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Godly negative three hundred to owning two home. And the
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: picture that comes in my mind. I don't know if
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: y'all ever saw this picture on Instagram, i'd see j
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: edit put this picture up. There is a picture of
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: this little girl and she's like standing in ye high
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: and Jesus is bending down and he's asking for her bear.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: She has a little bear. He's asking for her bear,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: and the kind of the sort of moral of the
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: story is behind his back. He has a bigger bear.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: Oh gosh.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: It is one of the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: and oftentimes we're not. We're so reluctant to giving God
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: what we have because we think this is you're comfortable, yeah,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: and not knowing that he's not asking for it because
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: he wants to take it from you. That's what we
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: feel is like, God, why would you take this from me?
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: He's asking for it because he's got something that you
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: couldn't even.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Imagine, imagine that you're not even thinking of. Ye, that
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: you're not even thinking of, and it's so much better.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: Do you can't even fathom what could be. You're happy
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: with what you have. I was happy with what I had.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I didn't think, you know of I got it. I
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: had a goal I wanted. I actually wanted Miss Texas
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: and God gave me Miss Usa. I didn't think of that,
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: you know. I feel he put that on my heart
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: so for you to just take it away, not knowing
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: he had something bigger and better for me, just waiting,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: just waiting. A wow, that bear story.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah you got to see that picture after like, yeah,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: yeah it is. It is beautiful. Listen. I don't want
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: to keep you all day, but this has been great
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: and I'm just you know, blessed by your testimony. And
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I know so many people are going to be encouraged,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: and especially on this platform, because we're always talking about
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: life transitions, how people have to pivot, loss, death, divorced, grieving.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've talked about it all because I want
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: people to understand. Mental health is just life in motion.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah mm hmmmmm.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: It's not depression.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: That's a mental health disorder. It's not the anxiety, it's
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: not the the the disorders that will so quickly to
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: attach to people when we feel that we've been in
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: some way you know, uh uh, you know handle wrong.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: But mental health is just life, love, that light emotion.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: It's life and motion because you don't have to be
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: depressed in order to fit, you know, you know, experience
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: some mental health issues. Again, I told you that one moment,
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: and I'm not normally you know, in that state, but
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: that one moment you caught me off guard, you know,
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: and I'm glad I overcame in man.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: And still that that's your story is so much like Job,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: because Job had the same moment. He literally said to God,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: like just kill me. Oh yeah, yeah, He's like.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: None, I'm tapped out. Guy. I know you you know,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: you got your soldiers and you can't you won't get bored,
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: and you can bear. I went to every I was
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: a god. I can't bear no more. I'm done. I'm
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: tapped out. We're just like I don't have nothing else
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: to lose.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: You know, what else are.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: You gonna throw on me?
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: So?
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: But he saw me through, and I'm gonna encourage anyone.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: I live by three p's, and it's patience perseverance in
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: prayer that'll get you through a lot of things in
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: life and help you receive and get to the goals
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: that you have in life as well.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: So patience, perseverance and prayer. Three peas. Y'all heard that. Patience,
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: perseverance in prayer, and I'm gonna give y' all something
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: with that. Patient patience is not about waiting, Okay, it's
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: about enduring.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Cuse we're done that. We're gonna right there that right
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: right there.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Can you endure? Not just wait, but can you endure?
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: That's what it's about. And that's what you did. Listen.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I am so happy for you, and I mean that
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: from the bottom of my heart because y'all don't know
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: where Elkins is, Like you know, like Missouri City, Texas.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: And to be from Missouri City, Texas, from the.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: Mo from the most.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Old city, old city. Done about that. To be in
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: a place where God has restored and what I'm hearing,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: God has ten x your life.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, I'm in the happiest place that I've been,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: happiest place, and only two years ago I was at
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: the lowest.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Man this like when I tell you this episode blessed
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: me today, like bless me. I'm so proud and so
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: happy for you. And then too, I love people who
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: have real stories of how they made it out.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: It's real. It's I think you needed that because sometimes
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: you see you know this beauty queen and want to
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: pageant and all that and see everything seems perfect on
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: the outside, but no on the inside. For me, I've
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: went through a very challenging time and I just wanted
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: God to get me out of it so I could
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: share my testimony. So I'm happy to be able to
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: do it here.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: And that's why it got you out because it wasn't
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: about you.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: It wasn't don't keep it not we gonna go thirty
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: more minutes. Don't keep going now. Look we're trying to
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: end it.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: All right, So my last question and then we're going
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: to our five takes because I got five questions I
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: want to ask you. But this this last question I
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: ask I ask every guest, as y'all know, this is
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: just heal with doctor j is when you hear the
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: word healing, what does that mean for you?
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: We should have prepped me for that. That's a when
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: you hear the word healing, healing, I feel what came
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: right back to mine are the three p's that I
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: live by, and I feel if I go with those
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: three PE's that I'll go through the process of healing.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: So that patience, that perseverance, and that prayer equals healing
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: to me. I feel like it's always this circle of healing.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: You like you said, it's life, you know, so you're
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: going to go through things. If you keep those three
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: piece in mind and life, you'll go through those healing
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: processes each time in a different way and better and
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: better each time you go through it.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I love it, Yeah, I love it. Three piece prayer, perseverance, prayer,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: no patience, perseverance and prayer. Listen, guys, this is this
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: has been phenomenal. If you haven't watched the show, Beauty
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: and Black, the number one show on Netflix. Please. It
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: is entertaining, It is real. It is about family, It
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: is about all. Anything you can think of is in there.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: I know, it's not. It's nothing about what we talked about, patience.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: Ain't none of that, right, listen.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: Ain't nobody not trying to heal? All?
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: Okay? It's different.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: If anything causing causing pain? Oh my god, okay, the
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: difference on here, I know right most Oh my guys,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: so much toxicity of it. But we are healing in
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: real time. Thank you for tuning in again with Doctor J.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Remember healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: And until next time, keep doing the work. Just Heal
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: with Doctor J, a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. And you
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: can follow me at King J. Barnett on Instagram and
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: x and follow us on YouTube. Just Heal, Doctor J.