Latest / The Trauma Therapist / Episode 807: Trauma-Informed Intake: The Questions with Doreen Hills
Transcript
- 0:00Trauma Therapist Podcast. Plus listeners can listen to episodes early and ad free right
- 0:04now. Become a Plus listener by going to Apple Podcasts searching for the Trauma
- 0:09Therapist Podcast and signing up today. All right, welcome back to the Trauma
- 0:24Thepist podcast. My name is Gamiferson. My mission is to help trauma therapist
- 0:29be their incredible selves, to be human, to be real, not just
- 0:33a clinician. I'm a big believer in who we are is more important than
- 0:37what we know, and this requires cultivating authenticity, genuineness, and vulnerability,
- 0:42and that requires intention. Can learn more about my courses and workshops by going
- 0:47to the Trauma Therapist Project dot com. That's the Trauma Therapist Project dot com.
- 0:53Let's get started. So five four, three, two and one,
- 0:59our folks, welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to have back.
- 1:02Doreen Hills, Doreen, welcome back, Thank you for having me. Super
- 1:07excited to be here. So. Doreene is the founder director at the Center
- 1:11for Healing Trauma and Attachment. Their mission has to provide cutting edge treatment approaches
- 1:17in healing traumatic distress and they're committed to finding ways to provide quality and affordable
- 1:22therapy and to be the pioneer in healing trauma in the North East region.
- 1:27Duran has been a mental health provider for over twenty years and has worked in
- 1:30various settings in New York, Philippines, Colorado. Her background includes intense,
- 1:36immersed experiences working with poverty stricken fishermen in the Philippines, orphans that were severely
- 1:42neglected and abandoned, as well as Muslims in India. Doreen, We've had
- 1:51to hear several times and today we're gonna talk kind of like a part too.
- 1:55Last time we were here, you share your insights on the trauma informed
- 2:00intake and what that means. So today we're going to do uh kind of
- 2:04a part two to that, which is really interesting. So take it away.
- 2:07Let's bring us up to speed. Yes, I think it's so important
- 2:14to really understand and have strategies in you know, doing your intake. And
- 2:20again, you know this this part here will really focus more on, you
- 2:24know, what type of questions that clinicians can actually you know, utilize and
- 2:30these you know, these questions. I've developed some of this and then some
- 2:34of that I derived on, you know, on the wisdom of Bessel,
- 2:38vander Coke and other trauma experts and then just weaved it into my work.
- 2:43So I wanted to just kind of bring up this piece here where, you
- 2:47know, I think in the in the e world, like the techy world,
- 2:53we tend to you know, to just be we get we start to
- 2:57get comfortable with you know, what is what is? You know those what
- 3:02what what's offered to us. So let's say it's already lined up. It's
- 3:07easy, you know, clients can use that, which you know overall is
- 3:10pretty helpful. But then if we really wanted to understand attachment, you know,
- 3:19attachment between caregivers and even the generational attachment patterns and complex trauma, we
- 3:29need to weave what you know, what the words of wisdom from others have
- 3:35given us. And so I think it is important today to really dive into,
- 3:42you know, those strategies, those questions, and yet very mindful of
- 3:47the you know, of the of the person's story. Not interrogative, you
- 3:52know, like a detective, you know or not. Well, we're all
- 3:54detectives, but we're you know, like not too too much, not too
- 4:00interrogating. So I would love to share that with the listeners today and I
- 4:05think I think I would like to focus on the adult version first and maybe
- 4:12in the future we can dive into the other versions. That sounds awesome,
- 4:15Okay, I love what you're saying here. So you're just in some way
- 4:19in a sense, you're saying there's a lot of online versions of evantakes,
- 4:26and you're you're kind of suggesting or advising they're good and they have their place.
- 4:31But dot Okay, So what are some questions we're talking about here?
- 4:39Yes, and so I would like to start first with you know, every
- 4:43time you see clients, you are a detective. You're trying to understand and
- 4:47learn their stories. So here we go, guys, I think you know,
- 4:50pen and paper here and listen to the Trauma Therapist Project to just get
- 4:57those information. So I would like to you know, ask as people,
- 5:02as our clients, you know, the impact the impact of the presenting issues
- 5:08on the relationship, on their relationship within themselves, you know, and the
- 5:13immediate and extended family. So it is I mean, you can weave it
- 5:17any time when it's you know, when it's that right time and right moment.
- 5:23I think it is important to not only focus on the symptoms, but
- 5:27also what is the impact of those in their relationship with others? Okay,
- 5:32So let's say you're asking me that question, what would you say? How
- 5:36might you ask that? So I will ask you guys. Okay, so
- 5:41you're saying that you're having the difficult time you know, with anger or even
- 5:46having those flashbacks or even you know, just the ability to connect with others.
- 5:51How is that impacting your relationship with your loved ones, with the people
- 5:59with your cowork and you know, I don't know how how you're going to
- 6:02respond to that, but that can be a very good, rich conversation as
- 6:06to you know, the impact of those distress in someone's system. Well,
- 6:12I would say it's impacting a lot. I mean, the flashbacks are uh
- 6:19kind of interfering with my ability to communicate with my partner. I don't know,
- 6:26sometimes I don't know what's real and what's not. You know, I
- 6:30feel like I'm not even sometimes I feel like I'm not even here right And
- 6:34so what a what a good conversation, And it it threads into okay,
- 6:40are we dealing with you know, is this something that the client would like
- 6:44to focus on their goals, you know, to be able to communicate being
- 6:48you know, communicate with my friends and loved ones in a present way,
- 6:53you know, being mindful, so that you can, you know, you
- 6:56can weave it in that goal, the goal or treat and planning. So
- 7:01oftentimes we have I mean, our clients come to see us because their relationships
- 7:06are affected by trauma, and so I think it is important to understand,
- 7:12you know, get into the impact of it some of the things too.
- 7:15And again this is more of the relationship with you know, with their attachment
- 7:21figures, typically on the child you know, on the childhood, on their
- 7:26childhood, who took care of you growing up? Who was your support system?
- 7:30Who was the one that you feel safe and secure with? And leave
- 7:35it as a really good conversation, you know, between the two of you.
- 7:41Now, let me let me so, why what kind of plain devil's
- 7:44advocate here? Why is that important? Why? Why? I mean we
- 7:48you know, we know what trauma is important, or attachment rather is important.
- 7:51But within this context, uh, why is that important? Well,
- 7:59it is, it's very important. So let's say you are dealing with with
- 8:03a client that has children, and this gives us a good picture or maybe
- 8:09a snippet of Let's say I asked you that I asked that question, or
- 8:13I asked that question the person said, I don't have any I'm alone I
- 8:20or they might say nobody is you know, nobody is a safe person to
- 8:24me. So what happens is when they have that, you know, when
- 8:28they have that perception or that experience, how are they taking care of their
- 8:33kids? What kind of attachment style you know they kind of lean into,
- 8:41you know, is it disorganized? Is it or is it ambivalent? Is
- 8:45it insecure attachment? So what and oftentimes in complex trauma, it is the
- 8:50disruption between the child, the disruption, the disruption between the child and the
- 8:56caregiving system. So when we have a glimpse of what happened to them growing
- 9:03up, who took care of them, you know, it gives us an
- 9:07idea of what kind of attachment style they are running into or what you know,
- 9:11what's blocking them, what's making them resilient, what makes them flourish?
- 9:16Or let's say, who took care of you? And they might say,
- 9:20well, I have aunts and uncles and grandpa and grandma that really really loved
- 9:24me, And do you still have connection with them? Absolutely? And how
- 9:30are they you know, how are they playing in your in your roles as
- 9:33parents as a parent. Now, I mean, boom, what a rich
- 9:37conversation, and you're getting an idea of Okay, here's this individual that has
- 9:43support system and so when they're having a difficult time, they can run to
- 9:48those to those folks. So does that make sense? M h Yeah.
- 9:52It opens up a lot, It opens up a lot. Yeah, yeah,
- 9:56yeah, okay, awesome. Continuing on here, and another question,
- 10:01let's say, yes, another question again in the in the context of that
- 10:07attachment as what was your parents you know, what was your parents discipline style
- 10:13look like, you know, and they might well they're pretty lax, or
- 10:18some folks like you know, some folks may say, well, they're authoritative,
- 10:20authoritarian, they're very nurturing. Again, it's giving us a glimpse of
- 10:28what the attachment looked like. And oftentimes, when let's say, as kids,
- 10:33we you know, I mean I came from I came from the Philippines,
- 10:37and my parents were you know, they're very strict, they're very you
- 10:41know, they're very disciplinarian, and you know, I kind of again in
- 10:46my in my caregiving system, I you know, I default to that because
- 10:52that's what I've learned growing up. And so I have to tweak it,
- 10:56and you know there's pros and cons on that. So it gives again and
- 11:00that kind of a question, how how your parents discipline? What is that
- 11:05like for you? How is that? How did that affect you before?
- 11:07And how is that affecting you now? You know, it gives us a
- 11:11picture of how they are in relation with their kids and you know, with
- 11:16their children. So that's pretty powerful in terms of someone you know, you're
- 11:22doing an intake in terms of someone who's experienced trauma. Let's say I'm the
- 11:28client and you're asking me about my parents? Uh was it disciplinary style?
- 11:33Or how how were your parents treated you? So moving along down that that
- 11:41question line, what are you looking at in terms of how I'm experiencing my
- 11:46own trauma? What are you thinking about in asking that question in terms of
- 11:52looking at how I'm dealing with my trauma? Yes, I'm you know,
- 11:56I look at I pay attention to body language. I don't know if I
- 12:03answer your question, but I you know, sometimes when we again, how
- 12:07how we how we ask the questions? And again it's you know, very
- 12:15very strama sensitive care, you know, paying attention to how the body is.
- 12:20So when they're sharing that with you, is there incongruency that's happening you
- 12:26know, Oh yeah, yeah, my you know, my my dad beat
- 12:31me up. And then there's much a lot of people have that affect too
- 12:35when they talk about that. Yeah, right, and that can be a
- 12:39very good, you know, a very good point for clinicians to not that
- 12:46time yet, but something to where they can they can they can pay attention,
- 12:50they can make the client aware of it later on in sessions to where
- 12:54hmm, I noticed that when you talk about, you know, about this
- 12:58stuff, you're smiling. Now you're looking into more of you know, paying
- 13:03attention to I mean that sense of self awareness. You know. So paying
- 13:09attention to the incongruency, the congruency of the body as well as the affect
- 13:15can really you know, it's really helpful when you are doing trauma in form
- 13:20care. I love that. So it's in addition to kind of asking questions,
- 13:26there's also the observation. Absolutely lovely what's going on to observation of the
- 13:33body language and so forth. Ngruency. Yeah, that's awesome. I noticed
- 13:37too while we're talking, since we're talking about congruency, I noticed people will
- 13:43you know, they will hunch or even their you know, their shoulder starts
- 13:46to tighten, or even their you know, I call it the ballerine or
- 13:50the tipital, you know, your feet. You know, it feels like,
- 13:54okay, what is happening? And you can sense it? Do we
- 13:58feel like we're getting flighty here? And I when I sense that with clients
- 14:03or even sense that with me, okay, and it's okay. There's something
- 14:07I want clinicians to remember. It is okay to pause and let them know,
- 14:13Okay, I'm sensing a little bit of you know, a little bit
- 14:16of something in me, you know, like we're feeling like we're getting disconnected.
- 14:22Are you feeling that? And they might oftentimes they will say, yeah,
- 14:26I think I need to take a little time out. Okay, so
- 14:28let's just take a moment. Let's plant our feet again. Let's take a
- 14:33deep breath. You and I doing this together, you know, So in
- 14:35that way, they don't feel like, okay, well, you know I'm
- 14:39going crazy here because Doreena is not even participating with me. Nope, you're
- 14:43going to join them now. You are going into the coregulation and the atonement
- 14:50while you are understanding and learning their story. But then when they leave your
- 14:56office. The key to successful I do BELI the successful session is them leaving
- 15:03the office. Your office regulated super important. So when you notice that,
- 15:09when you feel like their feet is kind of like they're doing the ballerine or
- 15:13the tipito help them plant it again with you being there, with you joining
- 15:18them. This is so much going on, Oh so much. I mean,
- 15:22there's so many different levels that you're operating on. You know, we
- 15:28started out, Okay, we're going to talk about questions. Well it's not
- 15:33just questions. There's so many things going on. One of the things that
- 15:39you know, in speaking with you on the many occasions that I have that
- 15:46I really admire about your dream is you just have this grounded sense and presence
- 15:54about you. Now, let me ask you this. When you're working with
- 15:58someone, how much of your own experience do you share typically? Are you?
- 16:07And yes, it's different with every client and we want to do it
- 16:11ethically or with boundaries and so forth, But is that something that you do
- 16:17typically do you bring in your own experience of you know, that's a beautiful
- 16:23question, guy, because I ran into this just last week and how I
- 16:30usually handle that like that self disclosure again right time and right moment, and
- 16:37your instinct will tell you again, when you practice the sense of awareness and
- 16:44presence and just being attuned with them, your instinct will align with that.
- 16:49And so what happened to me last week was you know, okay, oh
- 16:55this you know the theme? Right now? I can share something. Now,
- 17:00what's the most critical thing here to ask yourself is is this going to
- 17:04benefit the client? Or this is just more of a rage you know,
- 17:10raging or you know, not raging, but is it just more to share
- 17:12it? The biggest key here in self disclosure is how is this going to
- 17:18benefit the client? And so again permission, I asked them, I have
- 17:23not too similar of a story with you know that you're sharing right now,
- 17:29but there's a theme that's kind of you know, joining me with you.
- 17:33Can I share it? Is it okay? And it's not going to take
- 17:37too long. I'm talking about just a few seconds. And if they said
- 17:41yes, sure, we would love to. I would love to hear that
- 17:45and then yeah, this makes sense. Oh it's it's great. So what
- 17:52you're doing there is a couple of things right You're asking permission and what does
- 17:56that do That gives them some control, some lets them know they're in they're
- 18:03with you in a sense in that moment. Yes, not just Doreen leading
- 18:07the session, and it's it's you're asking permission, You're bringing them into the
- 18:14weight of the relationship in a sense. Yes. Always And you know you
- 18:18and I talked about this on the first on the first episode that Okay,
- 18:25this ship is theirs. They they think that it's somebody's you know, another
- 18:32captain has to run that ship. Right, My very first session is no,
- 18:36you can be You are the captain of your ship. You know your
- 18:38story. I am just beside you. I'm just listening to what's happening.
- 18:44And so anything that I share with them self disclosure. Again, it's for
- 18:49the service of the client. It has to be serving a purpose. Everything
- 18:56has to be intentional, not just you know, I just wanted to share
- 19:00this because I want to. Right, So we're talking about here intake questions,
- 19:11generally for for adults, trauma informed intake questions. Let's continue on what
- 19:17other ones? What are the questions? Uh, do you want to point
- 19:21out? Oh, I also ask them this is this is not something that's
- 19:26on just the typical intake, Right, how do you handle stress? What
- 19:32do you do to take care of yourself. How do you cope with difficult
- 19:34emotions? How effective are those tools? How is that working for you?
- 19:41How is that not working for you anymore? What emotions do you find that's
- 19:47you know, that are more difficult to manage? So it gives us an
- 19:52idea of how you know how they are in terms of coping skills and their
- 19:56calming strategies. I also I also use this really cool tool. You guys
- 20:06are you're probably familiar with Captain America's shield, right you know that, you
- 20:11know it's all circle and so it's it's got different you know, different levels
- 20:18and what I tell clients, and it can be the third session, it
- 20:21can be during the you know your nine O eight three seven, your your
- 20:25therapy session. I asked them, can you you know I do have the
- 20:30graph and you can do it yourself. You have a graph of that.
- 20:33You know that that that shield, and I will tell them, can you
- 20:40show your your support system using this graph, using this using this tool?
- 20:47And so the closer they are so in the middle, the closer those people
- 20:51are, you know, those are the ones that are close to their support
- 20:55system, and what you're doing there is understanding their tribe and you might be
- 21:00surprised that you might be on the first you know, on the first level,
- 21:06like wow, you know, and what made you think you know?
- 21:08Adding me there now? Well, because I feel like I can trust you,
- 21:11I can talk to you about stuff. So which is a very good
- 21:18way of now for folks that are doing E M d R. This is
- 21:22already you're already introducing the resource installation here, you know, like those resource
- 21:29development AREDI. So now these people, you know, the clients can identify
- 21:34here are the people that I feel safe and secure with, and most of
- 21:37them are probably Yeah, I like them, but you know, they're not
- 21:41quite there yet. So this is a powerful question that you can you know,
- 21:47well, this is an inquiry, you know, to how many folks
- 21:51they have in their secure system. Wow, I love that one that that
- 21:56can be. They're revealing too, because oftentimes sometimes people can say, well,
- 22:02yeah, you know my sister, I'm really close to my sister.
- 22:04Well then why do you have her all the way out here? Exactly?
- 22:07Well, you can't really tell her share things with her or whatever she triggers
- 22:15me or whatever exactly, And so it is it's it's good to have that
- 22:19because they can tell you who are triggering. Yes there is still support supportive,
- 22:25but they're triggering. But it's it's already giving you the idea, the
- 22:29template of Okay, when we are doing those resourcing, we can include these
- 22:33figures, these people in their lives. So it's it's you know, it's
- 22:41more than just a pen and paper or a computer. Between the two of
- 22:45you, you are already understanding their template, their story by just asking those
- 22:52simple, simple and yet powerful questions right right right, and also as you
- 22:56talked about, you know, maintaining this observation, watching their body language,
- 23:03watching the congruency or incongruency, so very powerful mm hmmm mm hm, and
- 23:11so utilizing again. My suggestion to providers is be creative. Do not you
- 23:18know, don't take creativity in your intake in your sessions. You know,
- 23:26it is important to it is important to use art. It is also important
- 23:30to you know, bring the element of art. People tend to have a
- 23:36good idea when they're writing it in paper, when they can actually see it
- 23:41visually. You can use sandtray, you know, for those of you who
- 23:45are fascinated with sandtray, you can you can do it in the second session
- 23:49or third session, even the first session, create your you know, create
- 23:53your resource your support system world. And they can create, you know,
- 23:59put objects means something to them. And so we need to not only again,
- 24:04we need not only to look at the symptoms and the problems, we
- 24:08also have to look into those positive resource system because eventually, this is what
- 24:17this is what we wanted to do, right that is the goal of trauma,
- 24:21of trauma therapy. It's for healing and for recovery and for resiliency.
- 24:26And so you're already gathering this information. You may not use it right away,
- 24:30but you're putting it in. You're putting it in a box, in
- 24:33a very important box that once Oh well, let's say a client, I'm
- 24:40struggling right now, I don't know who can help me. Let's pull away.
- 24:45Let's take a moment here. How about your great aunt that's close close
- 24:52to you that she seems to be so there in your heart that every time
- 24:55she just you hear her voice, she just calms you. I could not
- 25:00and even think about her. But you're it's more than intake, it's more
- 25:03than paper. You are already giving them because again you're giving you're the guide
- 25:08for them, You're a witness and a guide for them, like remember this
- 25:12time when you were you know, when you're when you're having a difficult time,
- 25:17this is the this is what you're telling me that you're good at this,
- 25:19blah blah blah. You know, personal strengths and resources. Do not
- 25:26forget to share or to ask those questions? How do you get where you're
- 25:32at now? And I'll give you an example on this, so you know
- 25:37how you're Let's say I'm asking you you know, geez, you know you've
- 25:41gone through so much adversities in life, you know, and it feels like
- 25:45it's it's like all all coming, you know, all at once. But
- 25:51there is also always that crack in the you know, crack, like little
- 25:55slim crack there to wear maybe a sign of hope. But what do you
- 26:00do to keep going? You know, you're here now, sitting with me,
- 26:04talking with me, So what is you know? What? What are
- 26:07you? What get you where you're at? And they may take a moment
- 26:11and I tell them take a moment to pause. I wanted you to just
- 26:18to just kind of chew on this, you know, chew on this inquiry.
- 26:22And people might say, hope, I'm not giving up hope, or
- 26:26they might say prayers, or they might say I need you know, walking,
- 26:33you know this distance. So what's happening there which is so beautiful is
- 26:40you're they're already giving you strategies their ability to be resilient in difficult times,
- 26:48you know. Or maybe they might say, I just remember my grandma and
- 26:55grandpa telling me to never give up. So when you're when when you're getting
- 27:02this information, you can use that when they're having a difficult time. Remember
- 27:07the time when you were telling me that you know you're not losing, you
- 27:11don't want to lose hope. How can we use this now for you?
- 27:15And again it's not those you know, the question is so gentle and at
- 27:22the same time, you know, so in attuned to who are you as
- 27:26an individual? What an you know? Who are you as an individual?
- 27:30And it's not just a question of what is your strength? What are the
- 27:33things that you're good at? It's not like those black and white right right
- 27:37right, that makes sense though, it makes a lot of sense. It
- 27:44makes a lot of sense. It's it's so inspiring to me. There's there's
- 27:48a you know, you supervise clinicians also correct and as we kind of wind
- 27:56down here, I want to kind of close with this. Do you sense
- 28:00in younger clinicians is there a uh, how are they fearful of interacting with
- 28:11people who've experienced trauma generally speaking? Because what you're talking about here is kind
- 28:18of like a fearlessness. It's a respect, but it's a moving into their
- 28:23world. And sometimes, I mean a lot of times trauma can be frightening,
- 28:30and I think for a newer clinician it can be scary even though they
- 28:33want to help. Of course, yes, so I think it's that's the
- 28:38nature of And I've been there, you know, all of us been there,
- 28:42Like you're afraid if I ask this question, am I re traumatizing them?
- 28:47Or if I actually right something something related to lethality or risk of suicide,
- 28:52am I going to you know, to push them to do that?
- 28:56You know? And I think it is. Here's here's my take or my
- 29:03suggestions to new clinicians. Be open to asking questions. Your supervisor is there
- 29:12to help you. And if you feel like I need more, you know,
- 29:18again, from being fearful to fearless, you know, I think it
- 29:23is important for people to for clinicians to ask and ask and ask seek supervision,
- 29:30seek you know, like mentor not shadowing, actually shadowing shadowing providers that's
- 29:37been doing this over and over again, and be okay to make mistakes.
- 29:42I mean I've made mistakes many times, you know, when I was when
- 29:47I was new. And so for us to for us to be fear fearless,
- 29:52we just have to practice it and again combining it with good supervision.
- 30:00So oftentimes I think this is what's and this is my experience. We get
- 30:06so caught up with the theories, we get so caught up with what we've
- 30:11learned in you know, in the universities, that this is just the black
- 30:15and the white. And again it's it takes some time. So before giving
- 30:22of you be kind to yourself. You know. I I've learned to just
- 30:27ask questions. There are no stupid there are no stupid questions. And I
- 30:32tell this to my you know, to to my supervisors. Just ask me
- 30:36anything. And if I don't know, you and I are going to research
- 30:40it. So to from become from fearful to fearless. That's my you know,
- 30:48that is my suggestion for new Cless. Awesome. Awesome, all right,
- 30:52Duran, awesome. So what's the best way for people to reach you
- 30:56and learn more about what you're doing. Yes, so oh. People can
- 31:00reach me you on our website. It's c H T A I n C
- 31:07dot org, or they can give us a call at ninety seven oh three
- 31:11nine seven four six zero nine. Okay, we'll have that linked up at
- 31:15the show notes page here at the Trauma theaverorspodcast dot com. During always awesome
- 31:21and inspiring talking to you, we'll have you back. Thank you so much.
- 31:26Thank you all right, Thanke, youre