Latest / Trudge Report / Ep. 139 - FEAR: F*** Everything And Run Or Face Everything And Recover.

Transcript

Ep. 139 - FEAR: F*** Everything And Run Or Face Everything And Recover. · Trudge Report

0:07
SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: This is a recovery-based podcast.
0:14
SPEAKER_01: My name is Sean, and I am your host, joined by my good friends and uh the Trudge Duo tonight.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, we are the Trudge Trio, but just the Trudge Duo, Corey and Greg.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh, Dan is uh away on some family business tonight.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: We wish him well.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: He's doing uh apparently he's doing civics homework with his son.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: So have fun with that, Dan.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: Uh please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: Videos will be posted each week, so you can watch these episodes on YouTube and Facebook.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: What do we do to that like button, Corey?
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: You touch it real nice and gentle.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: Like smash it.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: Smash it like you're Brandon Davies.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: You have consent.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: Um, we are brought to you by Stella Mix Podcast Management, uh, boys and girls.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: Gentlemen, good evening.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: Happy recording day.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: How's it going?
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Greg, start with you.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: Degeneration X shirt.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: That's like the only wrestling that I like really like.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, doing good, man.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, had a good weekend.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh, we celebrated uh my future father-in-law's birthday on Friday night, went out to a nice steak dinner at Longhorn.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Um Longhorn's legit.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know what?
1:31
SPEAKER_00: I've uh Corey and I have had some crazy Longhorn experiences in in South Florida.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh they they have yet to repeat up here.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: I gotta say, the Longhorn up here is pretty impressive.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Um we don't have any waitresses nodding out uh in the middle of taking oh that was no, let's get that straight.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: That was Outback.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Was that one Outback?
1:50
SPEAKER_02: That one was Outback, yes.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay, all right.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: All right, Longhorn.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: I retract my my statement for now.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: I got I got a real quick Longhorn story.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: My wife goes out with a bunch of her friends after her recovery group that she goes to, and they went to Longhorn one night.
2:04
SPEAKER_01: This is recently, it's like a like less than a year ago.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: And I guess the way our Longhorn is, Corey, it's like near the Barnes and Noble.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: If you remember, Greg, in in Jensen Beach, it's like near the Barnes and Noble and the and good.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: And I guess there's like a part of the parking lot that bisects the Barnes and Noble and Longhorn, but there's but a specific part, it's kind of like right in the middle.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: I guess it's technically supposedly off-limits to all Longhorn members.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: So all of her friends parked in this specific spot, and for some reason she didn't.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: She parked at a different part in the Longhorns parking lot, and they got out of dinner, and like three of her friends they had boots on their cars because they were parked illegally, and the tow company came.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Is Barnes and Noble even open that way?
2:51
SPEAKER_01: No, that's the thing.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: It's not that's wild.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: It's not no no no, guys, it's not wild, okay?
2:57
SPEAKER_02: There's something called the law, all right?
2:59
SPEAKER_02: And when you're sober, you're supposed to follow it.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: And they didn't, they didn't, and Catherine did.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: Good on her.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: It's not even open.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: I could understand if it was open.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: Rules are rules.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: We are a country of law and order.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was I it was wild.
3:12
SPEAKER_02: It was wild.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: They still all talk about it like they're victims.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: And listen, victims don't stay sober, all right.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: And it was like 250 bucks to get, I don't know, something like that to get it released.
3:21
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, sorry, Greg, go ahead.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: That's wild.
3:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, and uh let's see, Peyton, uh, our boy Peyton, they won their championship bracket for uh football in the playoffs yesterday.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: So I I now have to refer to him uh as the champ now around the house for the time being, until he challenges me for the belt.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Um and uh and yeah, man, just had a nice family weekend getting uh getting ready to um do some Halloween shopping, some costume shopping, if you will, and get all prepped for the holiday.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: Good stuff.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: We're uh we're going to a Halloween party in two weeks that Corey wasn't invited to.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: And um figures.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: We got uh all my friends.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: All my friends are gonna be there.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: We got so Catherine is uh we got a um she's in she's an outlet, like an electrical outlet, a socket, and I have my I stick my uh my plug cord into her.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: It's pretty dope.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: It was like it was like 20 bucks.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: It's even got a little USB port.
4:33
SPEAKER_01: Like it's it's really funny.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: Corey, how are you, buddy?
4:39
SPEAKER_02: What was that thing you said one time about your mother-in-law listening to this podcast?
4:44
SPEAKER_01: I mean, she knows we've had sex, my mother-in-law by by now.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: She doesn't you didn't tell her about that, did you?
4:50
SPEAKER_01: You know what's funny is my Catherine's telling my dad about our Halloween outfit yesterday, and I'm like, I'm like thinking of my like, no, what are you what are you doing?
4:57
SPEAKER_01: Stop, stop.
4:58
SPEAKER_01: And she's like telling him, she's like, you get it, pop up, you get it?
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Because he sticks it.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh god.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
5:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm just I'm just glad you're in the festivities.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I'm having fun.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: I uh we're gonna be old, I think I I we're gonna be old McDonald for actual Halloween, so no that's uh that's how my kids learned that song.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: Well, like they they said Sean McDonald had a farm.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: That's legit.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: I've been hearing that since I like second grade.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: I mean we did it.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: We yeah, what else is going on, Corey?
5:32
SPEAKER_02: Nothing.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: I had a busy weekend.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: Um actually, I know I didn't.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: How was the recovery assembly that you went to?
5:38
SPEAKER_02: It was fine.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: We did almost nothing.
5:41
SPEAKER_02: We did what we came there to do today.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, actually, she did.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: Gabby did.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: I I did some work and stuff, but we really didn't do much because that hotel was hard to get around for a lady with a sprained ankle.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: So Yeah, I was gonna ask, how's the ankle?
5:56
SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's fucked up.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: It's I mean it's bad too.
6:00
SPEAKER_02: Did she get an x-ray?
6:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like a bad sprain.
6:03
SPEAKER_01: Like what'd they say?
6:04
SPEAKER_01: Grade one, grade two, grade three.
6:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: But she's going to be a little bit more.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: Listen, that's on you as the man to come up with a logical and readily available solution, like putting her ass in one fucking rollerblade and rolling her down a fucking hall.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: I didn't think about that.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: We could have done that.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: We got those.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: Smack one of those on there, she's fine.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: That that leg works good.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she is uh she's going to the ortho tomorrow, and depending on what they say, she's probably gonna pick up a scooter.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: Like uh like you put a your knee in the sand.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: Oh, dude.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Let me know if she can do any cool tricks with that thing.
6:40
SPEAKER_01: You should get her a wheelchair, put her in the wheelchair, and then tie a rope around your waist and the other thing to the wheelchair, and you just pull her everywhere like a fucking oxen.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: Just make sure right before you do it, you look at the camera and say, hi, I'm Corey Mishner.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Jackass.
6:58
SPEAKER_02: But uh Yeah, so that's fucking crazy, that whole thing.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: But I got a full breakdown from Mr.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Mr.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: Uh Mr.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: Clensey on all the the voting and all the new panel and stuff.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: How?
7:11
SPEAKER_02: He wasn't even there for half of it.
7:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he said he actually well he he said he left early, but he he apparently already knew everything that happened, so he left and two people were elected.
7:22
SPEAKER_02: So I don't know.
7:23
SPEAKER_02: He just I guess he just has eyes and ears everywhere.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I mean I don't even not that we can really even discuss that, but like I don't know.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: It was fine.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: It was interesting to see it how the process worked and that really solved.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: The voting quarter, the voting assemblies are very interesting.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: I would agree with that.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: How was the room service?
7:42
SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: Actually, oh, I said that we got room service then in our own.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: How was the pornography that you watched in your hotel room, Corey?
7:49
SPEAKER_01: Did you have to pay for it?
7:50
SPEAKER_02: We watched the Hunger Games.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Did you put it on the District 6 budget?
7:56
SPEAKER_02: We watched the the last one, whatever the last one was.
7:59
SPEAKER_02: I mean, isn't there a new one coming out?
8:02
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
8:03
SPEAKER_02: Noah Khan has a song on it, Corey.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: Correct.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: Correct.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: Your wife texted me the morning it came out and said, Did you love his new song?
8:11
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Fuck yeah, I loved his new song.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she she played it for me the other day.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: That's a good song.
8:19
SPEAKER_02: Fuck whatever.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: What else?
8:21
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't know, Eagles suck.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, let's talk about that real quick.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: So all I'm saying is, we started getting into it beforehand.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: All I'm saying is I knew we were gonna lose this fucking game.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: You did call it last week.
8:35
SPEAKER_02: You did.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: I mean this was a loss.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: This was a loss pre-season.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: I I figured, okay, the Rams have been good.
8:41
SPEAKER_02: So we'll probably we've been beating them.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: I just thought in my gut we'd lose.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: And everybody's hurt.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: Everybody's hurt.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: Everybody in the whole league is hurt.
8:50
unknown: Yeah.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, that's that's true too.
8:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, why?
8:53
SPEAKER_02: What's going on?
8:54
SPEAKER_00: I hate to because uh did either one of you guys watch the uh the Chiefs game?
8:58
SPEAKER_01: The Chiefs were Thornton.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, that was brilliant.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: His ankle was out.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Like it was.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Tell Gabby to stop bitching.
9:06
SPEAKER_01: This guy's got a real real gripe.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: You could tell like he had so much drive that dude had so much after that catch.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: He got up and like didn't even know, like, tried to walk on it and was like, yeah, it was bad.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, Corey.
9:21
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
9:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, you're good.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: That that's about it.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: I just uh yeah, like there was some hope there, I guess.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: I again I didn't even watch the game.
9:28
SPEAKER_02: I was trying to keep up with it, but we had things going on, like I said.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: But I didn't see the Saquon injury.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: Was it bad?
9:34
SPEAKER_00: I know it was a hammy.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Hamstring, that's all I know.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I didn't even see I didn't even see that.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: But that usually puts you out, right?
9:40
SPEAKER_02: That's tough.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: Uh a couple, I mean, yeah, at least a few weeks.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: The problem with a hammy is if you try to come back too soon, you just keep re-aggravating it and you gotta go back out.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: You gotta give it three weeks.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: I was yeah, I would even say just keep him out even an extra week or two just to be safe.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: Like I mean back like he's a freaking age.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know when your bye week is.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: When's your bye week?
10:02
SPEAKER_01: Do you know?
10:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: Like if it's coming up in the next couple weeks, like just five weeks.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: Keep him out through that, yeah.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, I mean what the fuck.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: Tank Bigsby season, baby.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's good.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what to think.
10:18
SPEAKER_02: I you know what I think?
10:19
SPEAKER_02: I think our day is is over for now.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Like I think we had a good little run there, huh?
10:25
SPEAKER_00: I think the Cleveland Browns are number one in the AFC North, baby.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: That's what I think.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: Who else is in that division?
10:32
SPEAKER_02: Uh Ravens.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: The Bungles, the Ravens, and the Steelers.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: Cincinnati lost today, too, didn't they?
10:38
SPEAKER_01: Sure did.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's prideworthy, I think.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: The Ravens, the Ravens won.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: We have the same record as the Browns, but whatever you guys haven't played any division.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Division game.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: So so yeah.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Giants won too.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Good on Dan.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Corey, at least you have the Phillies you can look for.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, no, you don't, because they're out.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, dude, and not to mention the Flyers, dude, starting out 0-3.
11:02
SPEAKER_02: And the first game of the season against Pittsburgh, 7-0 loss.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: That was rough.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but they play like 700 games in a hockey season, don't they?
11:10
SPEAKER_01: They got plenty of time.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: 82, but you know.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: Is that it, really?
11:14
SPEAKER_01: That's the same as that's the same as the NBA.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: It's 82.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is a long season, and so it's well, it's a physical sport.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: It's not even yeah.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, baseball plays 152 or 162, but it's not obviously it's not as physical as they're sitting around spitting tobacco most of the time.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm watching the game right now.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: My my Braves are playing the Dodgers.
11:34
SPEAKER_01: So all right, boys, so it's just the three of us tonight.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, let's start off.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: It's Corey and Greg's favorite time of year.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: Spooky season is beginning.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: We have some decorations up at our house.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, some of the neighborhood got some decorations up.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Go into Walmart, Tarjay.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: We got all the decorations everywhere.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: Why, Greg and Corey, for any of our new listeners that maybe not haven't, they maybe haven't been listening for the last few years to do our uh every year.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: We do kind of a spooky season themed uh like two or three, four episodes during the month.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: Greg, tell us why it's your favorite holiday, and then Corey, why it's your favorite holiday, or just just you know, give me a couple minutes wrap on that.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: Why?
12:18
SPEAKER_00: Man, I could go, I could go on and on.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: I I would say a couple things.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: Number one, I just I it takes me back to being a kid, like, and there's something about I know you guys aren't experiencing it now, but I know you know what I'm talking about.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: Is being up north, there's a there's a disp different feel to the air, man.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: It's it's crisp, uh, all the leaves are uh turned and falling, and it is it just feels like uh everything smells like pumpkin spice and apple pie, and it's it's just it's different this time of year, man.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the things that I craved uh and missed when I was living uh abroad, as they say.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Abroad um in the south, the deep south, yes, indeed.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh but yeah, man, who who doesn't love being scared, dude?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: And I and I love scaring people, like I love like whether or not I'm going out with Peyton to take him trick-or-treating, or whether or not we're like-or-treating?
13:17
SPEAKER_00: Is he still trick or treating age?
13:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, dude.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: And um last year we had uh like a like a Halloween party where everybody came over and everybody's dressed up and we take the kids out trick-or-treating and whatnot.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: It's it's cool, man, it's fun.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: But who doesn't love being scared, I think?
13:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I love I love going to haunted houses still.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh Lauren hates it, but she's a good sport and she usually lets me get away with one or two of them a year.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, it's I think that's um there's something inherently fun about uh being able to uh be scared.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: Same same reason I love a good scary movie is you know, you can kind of sit back and um suspend reality for a little bit and just uh kind of um you know turn all the lights off and get in that spooky mood and and just you know um be scared and let yourself be vulnerable, I guess, uh for a little bit.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Corey, what about you?
14:22
SPEAKER_02: It is kind of funny.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: I I was thinking about this um just before the pod.
14:28
SPEAKER_02: And like why?
14:29
SPEAKER_02: Like I don't know why.
14:30
SPEAKER_02: I I mean obviously not everybody likes to be scared, but why do why do I like to be scared?
14:34
SPEAKER_02: Why do people like to be scared?
14:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure I love it.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll be honest with you.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: I I don't like I don't like not go see a scary movie or go to a haunted house because of it, but I'm not sure I actually love it.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: There like Greg said, there's something about it that that that just I don't know, gets your adrenaline going, maybe.
14:50
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what it is.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: But but I but I also I have my line is way before Greg.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm not going to haunted houses.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: Like I I like to watch a movie and be scared, like oh shit, like this could be real.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
15:02
SPEAKER_02: Like you don't like haunted houses?
15:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't I mean I it's not that I won't do one, but I'm not going out of my way to do it, no.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
15:13
SPEAKER_01: I thought I I thought that'd be different.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: I didn't think that was about we didn't think the last one I did was literally like I think it was ten years ago.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: I think it was literally ten years ago, like coming up, and it was with Gabby and Orlando.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: And um You know, it's fun.
15:29
SPEAKER_02: It is fun, like doing it's fun, but I don't make it a point to go do that.
15:33
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: And they're definitely not fucking touching me, I tell you that much.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: I think we're only gonna get maybe one in this year, but it's gonna be blood prison at uh Mansfield Reformatory, which is where they filmed the Shaw Shank Redemption.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: So that sounds oh yeah.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: That sounds fucking terrifying.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes indeed, yeah.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes, indeed.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: God, that's cool.
15:56
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'm gonna get the pressure.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: What if you get stuck in there?
15:59
SPEAKER_01: That's that's see that's what I'm you want to know what where I come in, like scary shit.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Like I don't like God like a bad horror movie or a good horror movie, like something like that happened.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: That's like a horror movie.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, like I'm taking my fiance to this fucking haunted uh asylum prison, yeah, and then like they never let you out, Gregory.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: They're gonna let them out.
16:20
SPEAKER_01: They don't they don't want to keep getting out.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: That's the scary stuff right there.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: I think uh you know, you you guys know that I love Christmas and all that, right?
16:33
SPEAKER_01: You do and Disney.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: I swear that something happened.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: If you guys remember, I had like a like a quarter life crisis there in the last two years where like my mortality really started screwing with me, and it's kind of subsided by this by you know, now but um I swear that somewhere in there I started liking horror stuff more, and I think it's because it's almost like more relatable to you know what I mean, like to I like you can identify life more with like terrible shit, I guess, to be in some respects.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: I know that's like the exact opposite of how Sean over there is thinking.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't I don't understand what you're getting at.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Because there's like so much I mean, I'm looking at the ugliness of the trees for a moment, just to you know, fucking entertain me, Sean.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay, fine.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, but like there's so much terrible shit that sometimes it's easier to identify with like horror movies than it is like fucking Christmas miracle over here.
17:32
SPEAKER_02: And I do I still love Christmas, it's still my number one holiday.
17:35
SPEAKER_02: But I'm just saying, like, I swear that like somewhere in that like little crisis I had I started liking horror more.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: I always liked it.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: I always I I watched Freddie vs.
17:45
SPEAKER_02: Jason way too young, way too young.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: So that's good shit.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was instructed to make sure I buy a pumpkin scented candle next time I go to the store.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: On my list.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: What do you guys do?
18:01
SPEAKER_01: So we we go to our friend's house every year and they're heard their neighborhood.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: I've shared this before, their neighborhood does like a huge, huge thing.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: The whole neighborhood, they like have certain areas roped off.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: They have like local police at the front, like just to make sure shit doesn't get out of hand.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: Like it's huge.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: People come and they do like a like a pot kind of like a get a potluck at their house afterwards, which is always fun.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: But they have a couple haunted houses on the like the one main street that you go down, and it's uh they I mean kudos to all the neighbors because they really, really lean into it, which is pretty cool.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: What do you guys what's like the normal coy, what's like the normal Halloween thing for you and the kids these days?
18:39
SPEAKER_02: We honestly do the same thing.
18:40
SPEAKER_02: We go to um we we go to Martin's Crossing and uh finding the city.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've heard they do a big thing.
18:48
SPEAKER_02: It's it's phenomenal.
18:49
SPEAKER_02: It's you know what it is, and Florida sucks for this, by the way.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: I'll mention that too.
18:54
SPEAKER_02: Florida sucks for Halloween.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: But in those areas, like you just said, like you go to a neighborhood where everybody's participating, and it feels like like a normal neighborhood up north back in the day when I was a kid.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: Like we just went we went around our neighborhood when we were kids.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: Like it wasn't you didn't have to go to a gated community or or like or an HOA.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: You just went around the neighborhood because you know, not everybody was trying to kill everybody, or people were just nicer back then and knock on people's doors without getting like whatever.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so but that's what we do now is we go we go to an HOA.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: And uh I heard I mean, I th I think um I think we have a friend that lives there now.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna park in his driveway.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: So we do.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: He doesn't know that yet, but I'm gonna hit him up.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: We do.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: We certainly do.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: What about you, Greg?
19:49
SPEAKER_02: Crazy.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: No, you're gonna die.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, I mean we we um so usually like a week before, sometimes two weeks before, uh, Lauren's aunt and uh her husband have a like it's like a campground.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's not really a campground, it's it's basically like a community um where they have all kinds of mobile homes and stuff like that right out on this lake.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: And it's like they they're not there the whole year, it's like basically like a summer retreat.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like a cult.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Almost like a cult.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: Everybody drives around golf, a nomadic cult.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: But uh, we'll take Peyton over there to go trick-or-treating.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: They do a really cool haunted house there in the community that's uh you know all put on by residents and kids and stuff, and it's a lot of fun.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: And then on Halloween, we just we usually have everybody over here to our place, and then we go trick-or-treating.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Our neighborhood is huge, and we got a lot of got a lot of people like to dole out full-size bars around here.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, we got the good candy in this neighborhood.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: So every now and then you get the house up here that has like bags of chips and like pizza and stuff.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: It's all sick.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: I get hungry when I'm walking around with the kids, you know.
21:08
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so good stuff.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, we'll have some uh we'll have some other spooky topic themed episodes coming to you.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: At least we hope so.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: If Corey gets on his stuff.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Corey's been saying for weeks now that oh, I'm gonna think of stuff, guys.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna figure some stuff out.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: We've done the thing is we've done a lot of good topics.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: I was reminiscing today.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
21:28
SPEAKER_02: Not to spend a whole lot of time on this podcast reminiscing, but like remember when we each took a topic for a week?
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Our listeners need to go back and check it out.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: We did the Salem which trials I did the wit witch trials.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: I did the Black Dahlia murder.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh Greg did something cool.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: You did the Warrens.
21:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you did the Warrens.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: Bill did that uh that guy in Martin County, that fucking sheriff that killed everybody, I think.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: I think that was actually two different episodes, like two different we did we each took something like that.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: And then we each did like a serial killer sometime later because Greg, you did that guy from like Cleveland or something, right?
22:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: So our listeners, if if you're listening, you got to go back and listen to the case.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: Well, we could just do that again and take different topics.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: No, we peaked.
22:15
SPEAKER_02: We peaked.
22:16
SPEAKER_02: We peaked back then, years ago.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: Listen, I'm I'm a a treasure trove of spooky up here.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: We could do you did Salem, Corey, but we could also pick other like haunted places and do deep dives on those.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: There's plenty of stuff we can do.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
22:32
SPEAKER_01: We'll get to it.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Corey's gonna do some research for us, boys and girls.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: One thing I will say on the spooky side of things, and being an avid movie goer myself, shameless plug for all of our listeners, but I and I don't even know.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: But coming out next week is a movie called uh Other Mommy.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: And and I know that that's a good thing.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: I've seen Cradle was like so that the book I read earlier this year, it's called Incidents Around the House, and it's that movie is based on that book, and that book was one of the most terrifying.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I I I don't get scared by books.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: This book scared the shit out of me.
23:07
SPEAKER_00: And it was also one of those books where it was like I got like a chapter or two in, and it was I couldn't put it down.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: I think I read it in like two days.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: It was yeah, I've seen previews for that.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so very good.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: All right, so let's transition a little bit.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, we kind of, you know, we this is a recovery topic that kind of goes with Halloween, not like really because it's it's not like actual horror and stuff, but we do want to talk about fear tonight and our our fears and kind of what they stem from, how we deal with them, what they are.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, to kind of like typical to you know what we were just talking about, like why we like being scared, why scary stuff is appealing to us, the adrenaline, the endorphins, or whatever the hell, the science behind it.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: This is this is kind of the opposite.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: This is kind of like the fear that like nobody likes, nobody wants.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, but it is part of human nature, it's part of society, it's part of of growing up, it's part of being spiritual, and especially for us, part of being being sober.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: So let's start with I want each of us to pick.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: You can't say dying, Corey.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: You can't say dying.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: One one fear.
24:23
SPEAKER_01: Let's start with this.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: One fear each of us, and like let's just kind of just like what is it?
24:28
SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about it, and then we'll kind of get a little deeper into it.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: So I'll go first.
24:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, I and this might maybe this is a softball, and Corey.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Sorry if I was gonna steal this one from you, but like if myself or Catherine ever relapses, that's a fear that it's kind of kind of always there.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't, it definitely doesn't like run my life, it doesn't, you know, keep me up at night, but it's something I think about.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: It's something that's that's been on many inventories that I've done.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: It's something that I think about.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: And and and I don't know if like if Corey, if you've um like we've talked about it, her and I, you know, and and like kind of what the other person needs to do if that happens, depending on and obviously depending on how bad it is, depending on if it's like you know, prolonged or not, like I don't know, but that's that's kind of the fearful part about it, is because there's there's so many ways that that can go.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: Like one of us comes home and like, oh yeah, we relapse at like a concert and that's it, and we get right back to it.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do you really do?
25:27
SPEAKER_01: Or or no, it's been you've been hiding it for months or weeks.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: It's just like there's so many things of it, and I I you know, I think years ago I would have said, if one of us relapses, the other kicks them out, and you gotta go back to treatment or halfway or get out of the house because the kids can't be around.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: It's like, is that really realistic though?
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Depending on now, depending on how bad it is.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: Again, like if if I start like shooting dope and I'm like got needles lying all over the house and um, you know, pawning everything, and just I mean, all kinds of mess, then yeah, kick my ass out, at least for a little while.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: But um, because then that brings in like, well, then I'm gonna be a single one of us is gonna be a single parent, and how are we gonna navigate that?
26:07
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's there's so much there, so that's one of my things.
26:10
SPEAKER_01: And if Corey, if you want to elaborate on that, you can before you get into what yours is, or maybe it's the same, but that's something that I constantly think of.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: And I I will say that today we're both sober.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: Pretty sure we're both gonna be sober tomorrow and the next day, but and we're both very involved in our recovery programs, but like it's hard, and and I'd be honest with you, I very, very rarely see my wife slacking on her program.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, she meets with a lot of girls, she mentors a lot of girls.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: You know, I would I would love to see her go to some more meetings, but like I don't really get to that many either.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: I get to two or three a week, she gets to one, maybe two, but I don't really see her slacking, but it's like if I ever do, that's when that fear really crops in.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how can I like tell her she's gotta like be better?
26:57
SPEAKER_01: And I and usually I don't, I just let it be and it works itself out.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: But uh, I don't know.
27:01
SPEAKER_01: That's one of my thoughts.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: I know you got thoughts on that, Corey.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I do.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: That's first off, uh yeah, I'm about to tear you apart, actually.
27:09
SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just kidding.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, that's interesting, though.
27:12
SPEAKER_02: That's interesting to hear you say that.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm curious, and we don't gotta get too deep on on you, Sean, but like how often do you think about that?
27:21
SPEAKER_01: Um like I wouldn't I don't think about it weekly.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: I'll say that.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: It's not every week.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: But it's and it's not really it's more of like when it's more of like if I am talking to someone that has like a significant other or a spouse or something that relapses, or a girlfriend or boyfriend.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: Because let's face it, we've got a lot of friends that date other people in recovery and they're not always sober.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: So like usually, usually when that happens, it'll be it'll I'll think about it.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, I I totally think about it, man.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: Because it because how many times have we seen people like yes, in hindsight, we when somebody relapses, we in hindsight, it's like, oh well, it comes out of the woodworker where they weren't doing this or that.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: But like, how many times have we seen, like, wow, I didn't expect that person to relapse?
28:07
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
28:08
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that's not happened to anyone.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: That's well, I I think about too, like, and Corey.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: I I mean, I'm sure we all know I'm not gonna put anybody anybody's business out there, but like I I can think of several people that I've known from the Florida scene for sure, where you know, one one of the person in the relationship is relapsed.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: I can think of one that's been pretty recent, and I don't know all the ins and outs of particulars on it.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: I just know what I see from afar, and from afar is what's posted online all over social media, and it looks like an absolute fucking mess for not just them, but the children involved too, you know, and it's just like man, my heart goes out to them.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: But it's like in that situation, as two people in recovery or recovered people for the for that time being, I feel like you have to have you have to have that honest conversation with your partner.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Like, what do we do in that in that circumstance and uh and definitely uh hold up on that, you know, and not backslide.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: But that's tough.
29:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
29:15
SPEAKER_02: I mean it so yeah, Sean.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: What I what I I guess what I want to say is um that fear is uh I I've I guess I've had it at times.
29:25
SPEAKER_02: I've had the same conversation with Gabby um in the past and oh she's kicking your ass out in a heartbeat.
29:32
SPEAKER_02: It's likely.
29:33
SPEAKER_02: But you know what?
29:33
SPEAKER_02: It's so that's so easy to say.
29:35
SPEAKER_02: Like to your point, like back in the day it was like, oh dude, yeah, she's out or or I'm out.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: I already know it, we already know the deal.
29:42
SPEAKER_02: Like, as if there's like some type of fucking scientific formula to what what you do if uh if one of the people in your marriage, being you or the other one, right relapses and burns everybody's lives to the ground under your roof.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: Like as if there's like a a way to do things after.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: And I've had that conversation with such pride and like self-almost like self-pride, just like get like like Catherine, you need to kick me out if that ever happens.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: You need to protect the kids and protect yourself.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, don't worry about me.
30:10
SPEAKER_01: I deserve it if that happens, you know.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I'm not gonna be able to do that man.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: That's not necessarily realistic, you know.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: I've been the same way, and I've even judged people, like in my own brain at least, for like seemingly to me, outside looking in, like continuing to like enable or like keep the person in the home or whatever.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: And it's like you know, eventually there's like a reality check with that.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: Like, one, it's none of your fucking business.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: Two, when you're wearing the idea, yeah.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: When you're wearing the idea what's going on, right?
30:37
SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: And it's like if you really think about it, like you're if you're asking somebody to to hey your significant other relapse, you should kick them out.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you're asking a lot, actually.
30:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, and I'm not saying it's wrong or right, or that's the right way to go about it, but especially if you're financially dependent on them.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: There are so many variables, you know.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: Well, not just that, it's it's the other thing too is yeah, we can sit here and say in our right, sober mind, thinking clearly, yeah, throw me out.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: Throw me out if I'm like that.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: You think we're gonna be like that when we're fucking out?
31:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm not fucking leaving.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm not fucking like that.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: No meaning or no, please, please, baby.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Please, I'm so sorry.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: I love you so much.
31:22
SPEAKER_00: I've been.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: And then Corey, Greg, Greg, you're gonna experience this in a few months.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: Corey, we have wedding vows that says we're not supposed to do that either.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, yeah.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: I mean, maybe not the kick out part, especially if it's temporary, but like we do like sickness and in health, death do us part.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, we meant that shit when we said it, and I still mean it today.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: You know, and uh, there's definitely not a formula to uh that whole thing, I don't think.
31:47
SPEAKER_02: There's there's the same thing we have for any problem.
31:49
SPEAKER_02: We we have prayer, and then we have uh maybe some guidance from other people.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: And that's and we just try to do our best.
31:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I am totally grateful that I'm not going through that today.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: Um that's so that's my big the other one is is um I'm fearful of like this is kind of broad, but like, how are my kids gonna grow up?
32:11
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
32:12
SPEAKER_01: Like there's just I don't know, and like so far, so good, you know, and it all starts in the home, right?
32:18
SPEAKER_01: It all starts in the home with the values and what you teach them and the love and the support, but I I get fearful of that one too.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, how are what are they gonna be?
32:26
SPEAKER_01: What are my girls gonna be like in a few like I don't know?
32:29
SPEAKER_01: I just it's uh I don't know.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: It's it's it's it makes me anxious sometimes.
32:35
SPEAKER_02: Becoming a parent unlocks all sorts of fears, yeah.
32:39
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
32:40
SPEAKER_02: It it really does.
32:41
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
32:42
SPEAKER_02: Like you become responsible for a smaller human, and it's like fuck.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: A lot of yeah, it's a lot of responsibility.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: What else?
32:49
SPEAKER_01: What do you guys have?
32:50
SPEAKER_01: Any what fears do you guys have?
32:52
SPEAKER_00: I I was I was gonna say, like, I mean, along those lines, I would say, but um yeah, just the the fear sometimes of what you know, whether or not it is stinking, thinking, cropping up or whatever.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: But you know, I do go through these sometimes where it's just like, man, am I good enough?
33:11
SPEAKER_00: You know, am I doing good enough?
33:13
SPEAKER_00: Am I am I the man that um I want to be when I look in the mirror?
33:18
SPEAKER_00: Am I the man to Lauren that she needs me to be in this relationship?
33:25
SPEAKER_00: Am I the uh man that uh you know Peyton needs me to be?
33:29
SPEAKER_00: And it's you know, and I think that's um some of that is constructive, I would say.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, I agree, it pushes you to be it, it pushes you to be better a hundred percent, a hundred percent, especially in those moments where I'm not really good at it, right?
33:45
SPEAKER_00: Where maybe I did, you know, um lose my temper a little bit, maybe I did um raise my voice when it didn't really need to be.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: And it's like those learning experiences, and then okay, then I gotta go have the talk and I gotta you know sit down and you know, um and hash all that out.
34:04
SPEAKER_00: But I think you know, um to a certain extent though, some of it is uh is a rational fear, but um you know, I think a good fear to have because it again pushes me to be uh a better individual at the end of the day, but uh to not get lost in that line of thought is is where you really gotta draw the line, you know.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Um because at what point does that then become a self-fulfilling prophecy in and of itself, you know, if we talk about or think about it, think about it, think about it all day long, you know.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: So um I I know what the right things to do in many situations are when I don't know what the right thing is to do, I usually uh um just call Mark Eric, right?
34:51
SPEAKER_00: No, no, it's usually one of you guys, um uh or or Daniel.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: But I will not answer.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: No, no, Mark Mark has given me a wealth upgrade, but I have a very good um group of men in my life that uh I can turn to with stuff.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: We all we all do.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, shout out to that.
35:09
SPEAKER_01: We all do.
35:10
SPEAKER_02: You guys, you guys constantly tear me down, make fun of me, degrade me.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: We're using the Dunklin approach on you, Corey.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: I just passed that place today.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: Scared straight.
35:22
SPEAKER_01: Why were you all the way out there?
35:24
SPEAKER_01: That's how you get to Oh, you were coming back, you were coming back from yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: Wherever I was.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: You were only where I was for Gate.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: I have I have uh you remember that guy that sent out all those mass emails, Corey?
35:35
SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
35:36
SPEAKER_01: I I offline I got more.
35:38
SPEAKER_01: I got more more juice, more dirt.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: He contacted me the other day.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: Good.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm glad.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Talking about taking legal action against office area 15 officers.
35:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm you know what I'm afraid of?
35:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm afraid that that guy might be a complete fucking moron.
35:54
SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm afraid of.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think that might already be.
35:57
SPEAKER_01: But anyway.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: Um I say no for too much.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: Greg, along those lines, like it's kind of like what you were getting at.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: If correct me if I'm wrong, was like, are people gonna find out I'm a fraud?
36:08
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
36:08
SPEAKER_01: Like that, like, like I I don't have that so much today.
36:13
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I can tell you that like I was I was invited to uh tell my story at a local halfway house the other day, and um uh shout out to Bryant, uh ICP Bryant and Corey saw him.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: He's he's like running the whole place now.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: He's like like you know, the head D ICK.
36:34
SPEAKER_01: Um but growing up, like part of my story is I always made friends very easily.
36:43
SPEAKER_01: I was not one of these like loners that didn't make friends.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: I was always very good at sports.
36:48
SPEAKER_01: I usually played a little bit higher level of sports too.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: I would, you know, as a freshman, I played varsity and I hung out with older crowds.
36:55
SPEAKER_01: And I I made friends with them easily, but I always, always felt that in order for them to continue to like me, I had to do the next crazy thing, right?
37:07
SPEAKER_01: I had to do more keg stands than the other guy.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: I had to have the bigger bag of weed at the party, and and you know, like I had to do something crazy because they were gonna find out that I was a fraud.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: They were gonna find out that I wasn't as cool as they thought I was, or I wasn't like whatever.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: Like that was a huge, a huge fear of mine back then, you know.
37:28
unknown: Yeah.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: What about like I wouldn't say even just a like a fraud either, too, is is like I I don't know, comparison is the thief of joy, right?
37:41
SPEAKER_00: That's always like the big the big thing, and I think that um I have a tendency to do that where it's like man, I'm I'm not as well off as I want to be.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm not you know, right, I'm not here and there.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: That guy makes more money than I do, right?
37:55
SPEAKER_00: Right.
37:55
SPEAKER_00: Or or even just like, hey, like I I um earlier this year I started a new job, and you know, while I am like starting in a position of upper management, I'm still the low guy on the totem pole within the organization, and I'm still doing a lot of catch-up on my own to like educate myself because it, you know, I'm I'm running a dealership and there's a lot of different facets to it and a lot of different stuff that I don't know, you know, and I'm having to lean on other people who have been there much longer than I have, you know.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's th those kind of things where it's like, man, I should be more advanced, I should be this, I should be that, or it's like, you know, and sometimes we just need to pump the brakes and hey, I'm I'm good where I'm at right now, but let me not get complacent, but let me not also be too down on myself either.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Right.
38:48
SPEAKER_01: Corey, we don't think you picked a fear.
38:49
SPEAKER_01: What are you fearful of, Corey?
38:51
SPEAKER_01: I know we you you added to both of ours, but yeah.
38:56
SPEAKER_02: I um I feel like this is kind of like a weird one.
39:01
SPEAKER_02: And it's not not weird, but uh this might actually this might almost sound like a little self-righteous, but I have plenty of other fears that are very much more normal and ridiculous, but um sometimes I fear of like my uh my I fear how the fuck do I put this?
39:28
SPEAKER_02: I have some fear sometimes in like to strengthen my faith in God, I guess.
39:35
SPEAKER_01: No, I like that.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: Like you don't feel you don't feel like sorry, the Braves just scored a run on a wild pitch.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: Um two to one.
39:45
SPEAKER_01: Um meaning you don't feel like your faith is strong enough, your relationship with God is like good enough?
39:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sometimes I feel like I had a stronger faith in God earlier on.
40:00
SPEAKER_02: And and like and there's many thoughts and reasons for that, but like to sum it up, actually sometimes like you said, I can't I can't pick dying, so I'll do a workaround on it.
40:13
SPEAKER_02: Like I feel like I never thought about mortality one, two, three, four years sober.
40:20
SPEAKER_02: And then like, especially when I had kids, like it started to dawn on me that I wasn't gonna be here forever.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: But I think that's kind of natural though.
40:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure it is.
40:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure it's very normal to be honest.
40:30
SPEAKER_02: But um, but then so I actually feel like a little guilty sometimes when I go, oh fuck, like is there something after this?
40:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know what I mean?
40:40
SPEAKER_02: Like, I know I believe it.
40:42
SPEAKER_02: I know that I have a relationship with God.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's called Kensington.
40:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, I know that I have a relationship with God, but there's moments where I'm like, damn, dude, what if I'm wrong?
40:51
SPEAKER_01: And it's like what if we're all think that sounds self-righteous at all, and I think that's legitimate.
40:57
SPEAKER_02: I just meant picking a topic like or picking a fear that was I'm gonna be able to do that.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: See, to me though, it that that fear works the other way.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm not I'm not scared of going out because I the it's the only guarantee that we get in this world, right?
41:14
SPEAKER_00: Is that we're gonna I I hope I can do it with a little bit of dignity and grace.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: But I'm not scared of going out as long as it's like 50 fucking years from now or more.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: But but here's what no time soon.
41:24
SPEAKER_00: As as uh as as an uh older and maybe not so wiser gentleman than the two of you, um I will say this, dude.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: When it starts flying by, you know, that's that's to me when it gets scary, is it's like, dude, like it was snap your finger, and six months are gone, you know, and it's like when so when it really starts time is flying, and it's like we gotta start making memories, you know.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: That's what I was telling Corey earlier this week.
41:55
SPEAKER_00: We're doing an impromptu, uh not an impromptu, it's it's a little bit of planning, but it's it is not like a ton of planning.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: Trip to Disney World over Thanksgiving, you know.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: Um because making the memories now are you know while we have the chance to do them are important, you know.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: So it's like and not I'm not out here telling everybody go spend thousands and go to Disney, but um I get it though at the same time, yeah, dude.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: Because it who who knows what's there nothing's promised to us, you know?
42:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's and like along that line, it's like if you if you have like to your point, you have like I'd much rather spend money.
42:36
SPEAKER_01: This goes along with the Disney thing.
42:37
SPEAKER_01: I'd much rather spend money on vacations and memories like that than more than like stuff.
42:45
SPEAKER_01: Now stuff is cool, don't get me wrong.
42:47
SPEAKER_01: We just we just literally got out of Catherine's old lease and got into a new uh bought something just the other day, a bigger car.
42:54
SPEAKER_01: And uh, but only because the price was right and we could get our monthly payments where we wanted them.
42:59
SPEAKER_01: But like I'd much rather spend money on a cruise, or like last summer we did Pennsylvania and Delaware and spent a bunch, but like that was awesome.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: Like we the the memories and the experience of that was so cool.
43:12
SPEAKER_02: I agree.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: Memories and experiences.
43:16
SPEAKER_02: That could also get you into a lot of trouble when you go see Dave Matthews 10 times in one summer.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: Indeed.
43:22
SPEAKER_02: But we digress, right?
43:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you gotta balance it out a little bit.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: It was a good summer.
43:27
SPEAKER_01: So let's let's angle this as this next part of this conversation.
43:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, probably finish it up with this last segment.
43:35
SPEAKER_01: Let's angle this like not so much how we deal with fear, but if we were mentoring someone, how are we teaching them to deal with fear and and how do they go about it?
43:48
SPEAKER_01: What do we do?
43:49
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, we have prayers for it, we have all kinds of things.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: I think one of my favorite things in some of our literature is uh it it talks about like we do these things and It says the last line of it is at once we commence to outgrow fear.
44:04
SPEAKER_01: And I'm always quick to point out to the guys I work with, like, hey, see that word commence?
44:08
SPEAKER_01: That means we begin.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: That means at this stage, like if we do this, if we follow these, these dictates and this prayer and this this kind of format, we begin to outgrow fear.
44:19
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean it's automatically gone, never coming back, we're good to go, rock and roll.
44:24
SPEAKER_01: It just means that we can start from this point.
44:26
SPEAKER_01: That's one of my favorite parts.
44:27
SPEAKER_01: So how would we what do we do?
44:30
SPEAKER_01: Either of you can start this, like if we're mentoring someone, how are we teaching them to deal with fear?
44:35
SPEAKER_01: Or what are we teaching them about fear?
44:38
SPEAKER_02: I think um the best advice I have is isn't my own, of course.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: And but I I do know that when I uh for my fears specifically, when when I'm sticking to a good spiritual routine, I have less of it.
44:53
SPEAKER_02: Um seemingly naturally, you know what I mean?
44:58
SPEAKER_02: Right.
44:59
SPEAKER_02: Um like I just said, like one of my biggest fears is like, oh, my faith in God isn't that great.
45:05
SPEAKER_02: Well that's something that you can actually work at.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: You know, you can actually do actions to strengthen that relationship and thus your faith in God, right?
45:16
SPEAKER_02: So and it sounds easy and it's not quite necessarily easy, but um but you know it is uh pretty much that simple sometimes.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: And um but I think lastly it's important to know that at least for the last ten some years that I've been paying attention to it, fear kind of changes.
45:41
SPEAKER_02: And um so far in my experience, my fears got deeper in nature.
45:49
SPEAKER_02: Maybe maybe less of the trivial ones or less of the ones that that I thought I was always gonna have and they changed out and took different forms or whatever, but like but to your point, Sean, like none of them I don't think any of them really run my life too much.
46:05
SPEAKER_02: I I like to talk a lot of shit in the group chat about like getting on a plane and being afraid of that.
46:10
SPEAKER_02: And like the truth is I'm gonna be a little scared for about 90 seconds.
46:14
SPEAKER_02: I don't actually think anything bad's gonna happen.
46:17
SPEAKER_02: By this point, on Thursday, if somebody's listening to this will know if something bad happened to Corey, so whatever, that's fine.
46:25
SPEAKER_02: But um for the most part, they don't they don't keep me from doing anything.
46:29
SPEAKER_02: Um I don't think fear makes a whole lot of decisions for me these days.
46:36
SPEAKER_02: Although, you know, I've waxed and waned on it, so um I think it's just a process and I I dude, sometimes I I'll just I'll shut up with this.
46:44
SPEAKER_02: Life is just life, you know what I mean?
46:47
SPEAKER_02: Life is a whole big ass process and it just changes, you know.
46:52
SPEAKER_02: I do but I will I don't necessarily agree with something I heard once in a meeting, which is why you shouldn't take everything home with you that you hear in meetings sometimes.
47:04
SPEAKER_02: That like as you stay sober longer your resentments get less and your fear and you you gain more fears or whatever.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: I wouldn't say I have like more fears.
47:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't I don't agree with that either.
47:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: Um because I because I was scared of everything when I got sober.
47:20
SPEAKER_02: Really.
47:21
SPEAKER_02: And so I I wouldn't say that, but I say they I say they get in my experience they've gotten a little deeper.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: And all I mean is like by by deeper, I'm talking about like like fear for my kids, fear for like you know, the people I love a little more, rather than um, you know, some other thing, some more selfish fears, maybe.
47:43
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think to to your point, it's like we have we're responsible for other people now.
47:48
SPEAKER_01: It's not it's not just us.
47:49
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't I you know what I mean.
47:51
SPEAKER_01: So it changes.
47:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
47:54
SPEAKER_01: Greg, what about you?
47:55
SPEAKER_01: What would you what are you teaching to the new guy about fear?
47:58
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think the the first thing we gotta do is get them all down on paper, right?
48:03
SPEAKER_00: And when we get to see how irrational some of those are.
48:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a good point.
48:11
SPEAKER_00: It's easy, it's easy to get those ones out of there, you know.
48:13
SPEAKER_00: We can we can have a 20 20 to 30 minute conversation on on a good chunk of those, and once the fog begins to lift, and and then we understand that all all we really were, we were maladjusted to life, and and we're of course, like Corey said, we're scared of everything, you know.
48:32
SPEAKER_00: Umce we get the tools in us to learn how to do stuff like how to be financially independent, how to save money, those are those are usually two big ones, how to look somebody in the eye and admit when you've been wrong, and and you know, um go about the amends process properly, all that kind of stuff.
48:51
SPEAKER_00: When we can begin to lift those things, then yes, like the fears do get, like Corey said, a little bit more deep.
48:58
SPEAKER_00: But I always go back to you know, like what is bravery truly, right?
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Because it on the other side of fear is bravery, and I don't believe that bravery is um the annihilation of fear or even necessarily overcoming fear.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: I think that uh true bravery is not running foolheartedly into a situation, you know, we walk into it uh with the training, right?
49:26
SPEAKER_00: With the training that we we've used to adapt uh and and you know uh move through those those kind of fearful situations, right?
49:35
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that the fear is instantly going to be gone, it doesn't mean that uh you know we're not going to be scared of it in the future, but what it means is that we've we've trained ourselves uh on how to do it.
49:45
SPEAKER_00: If if you take think about a military, do you think that those dudes that are trained up in the military aren't scared to go into a really shitty uh you know butt puckering, uh for lack of a better term, situation, but they do it still, right?
49:59
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
50:00
SPEAKER_00: Because it's their duty and they're brave men, right?
50:03
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes we have to face those things head on, and I've found that when I do face that stuff head on, you know, I usually come out the other side of it uh a stronger man for it.
50:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
50:18
SPEAKER_01: I think uh I think one of the one of the things that I would that I remember was um you know Ron saying to me, like when we did, because I agree, getting it down on paper does does help me see some of the foolishness of them, but he didn't he didn't spend too much time on them, you know.
50:38
SPEAKER_01: He didn't spend because he said to spend too much time discussing them is just perpetuating them, right?
50:42
SPEAKER_01: Kind of like you said earlier, Greg.
50:44
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just we're just perpetuating those things.
50:46
SPEAKER_01: Um and and he told me that the best way to get rid of fear and resentment and anxiety and any of that stuff is to go out and make amends to those people I had harmed.
50:59
SPEAKER_01: You know, that was like one of the biggest things he always stressed to me, and I I still don't know of a better way, you know, because just like identifying those things and then praying about them doesn't always automatically make him go away.
51:11
SPEAKER_01: And I will say with prayer specifically, and this is something that uh I've learned from like Emmett Fox and stuff, was like instead of praying, like, oh God, like please, I don't ask him to take away the negative things.
51:25
SPEAKER_01: What do I mean by that?
51:26
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't say, God, please take away my fear, please take away my resentment, because I'm then speaking those like that.
51:33
SPEAKER_01: I still have them, but in and I would say, God, please grant me courage, please grant me patience, please grant me self-forgiving or whatever it is.
51:42
SPEAKER_01: Like you just replace it's just about the words, but I'm a I'm a big, you know, I'm a I'm a word guy, I'm a wordsmith.
51:47
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
51:48
SPEAKER_01: It's about changing that the the tone of the prayer.
51:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think is the big thing for me.
51:55
SPEAKER_01: And um I got something I want to read, but I want to make sure you guys don't have anything else you want to add to it before we before we close up.
52:04
SPEAKER_01: Anything else you guys want to add before we close up here?
52:07
SPEAKER_01: So this is from a piece of our recovery literature, and hey, those who know, those who know know.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: And those who don't, maybe you'll learn one day.
52:17
SPEAKER_01: Uh perhaps there is a better way.
52:19
SPEAKER_01: We think so, for we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God.
52:25
SPEAKER_01: We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.
52:29
SPEAKER_01: We are in the world to play the role he assigns, just to the extent that we do as we think he would have us and humbly rely on him, would he enable us to match calamity with serenity?
52:40
SPEAKER_01: We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator.
52:44
SPEAKER_01: We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness, paradoxically, it is the way of strength.
52:49
SPEAKER_01: The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage.
52:53
SPEAKER_01: All men of faith have courage.
52:55
SPEAKER_01: They trust their God.
52:56
SPEAKER_01: We never apologize for God, instead, we let him demonstrate through us what he can do.
53:04
SPEAKER_01: We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what he would have us be at once.
53:10
SPEAKER_01: We commence to outgrow fear, which means we begin to outgrow fear.
53:15
SPEAKER_01: So good show tonight, boys.
53:18
SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you guys hanging out with me.
53:20
SPEAKER_01: I hope Dan and his flashcards of civics went well.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, have a good week.
53:30
SPEAKER_01: Love to all of you.
53:33
SPEAKER_01: Shout out to our listeners.
53:34
SPEAKER_01: Please like, follow, and share on all socials at Trudge Report Pod.
53:38
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53:40
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53:45
SPEAKER_01: If you're struggling with some form of addiction or you just want to talk about our experience, please reach out.
53:49
SPEAKER_01: We'd be happy to speak with you.
53:51
SPEAKER_01: Thank you again to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management.
53:54
SPEAKER_01: Good night.
53:55
SPEAKER_01: God bless, and may you trudge the road of happy destiny.
53:58
SPEAKER_01: We shall see you next week with a special guest next week.
54:03
SPEAKER_01: Cheers.