Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: The Danglers

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THE DISCLAIMER: The Danglers · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Raw Doggy, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodak here.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: G'day, fellas.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Backbone.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the second time we've done that.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Why, Jase? Why?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Because Keezy wasn't recording.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: Guys, this new system, I'm wrapping my head around it,
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: and there's going to be hiccups. It's going to be
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: bumps in the road, right?
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Is there a record button or not?
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: There is a record button.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: You said a week ago this new system is sweet
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: as and it's fucking so easy.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: It is so easy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: So what are you talking about?
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: Jase, you can't even log into the computer in front
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: of you, right? Don't give me shit about this.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: He's got you there, mate.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: He's done you. Yeah, that's true. But then I'm no
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: technical whiz, Keezy, like you are.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: That's true. He's done you there.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not a Game Boy sort of techno.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: Kind of geek. Are we just sitting here doing each
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: other while Mogi watches?
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: He's watching us do each other.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Well, funnily enough, funnily enough. Sorry, finish your thought, Keezy.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: I was going to say, Game Boys are like 25
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: years old.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Bad reference. Wake up, man. Sorry. He's done you there.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Far out, man. I was just over at the gymnasium there.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: I got a little bit of a surprise. I got
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: a bit of a shock. I haven't had a shock
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: for a while. Yes. And I'm down there. There's a
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: feller over there. Pucks doesn't go to that one. God,
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: he's in good shape, this feller there. You know what
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: I'm saying there?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Good-looking feller he is as well. And he ripped a
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: bit there, Keezy.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: I was like, he'll run out of breath soon. You
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: don't have to stop.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Yes. Anyway, I'm there. And we generally, somehow we always
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: seem to finish our workouts at the same time. And
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: he normally comes grandpa down the stairs after me. But
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: he goes to a different area of the changing rooms
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: than I do. You tend to when you go to
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: the gym, and you won't know this, you stick to
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: the same lockers pretty much. Yes. Anyway, so he turned off.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: I went to my locker. But then I heard another
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: fella coming down the stairs there. And then I heard
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: the other fella chatting away.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: The first fella.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: The first fella there. So he'd gone. Now he's come back.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: He's just by me there with this other fella there.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: I didn't hear what they were talking about. But very close,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: like from you to me away. Jay, so what's that,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: six to eight foot?
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: And just as I turn around there, each of them
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: grab each other's forearms and just pash each other.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: And I wasn't expecting that. Now, obviously, there's nothing wrong
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: with it at all.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: No.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: But I was not expecting that.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: It was a surprise to me.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: And so I said to them, oh, sorry, because I
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: started laughing there, you see. And they said, what's the
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: matter with you? Really? And I said nothing at all.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I said, that's just, I don't see enough of that.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Keep it up.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good work.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Good work, fellas.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: What did they say?
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Just laughed.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Were they naked? No, no, no. Right.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Still in his singlets and all that sort of thing.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good stuff.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I know what you're saying.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I think any kind of kissing in the changing room
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: would be odd to me, but particularly in that changing
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: room because it is, you don't see it.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Also, yeah, it's not often.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: You see it out and about more.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: I never see two dudes or two chicks hooking. To
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: be honest, I don't see, what is it?
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: PDA. PDA. Very often at all.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Two people hooking into each other, let alone two people
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: of the same sex. It's even rarer, you know what
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: I mean? So I would have been like, oh shit
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: as well.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a deep, passionate kiss, Keezy.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: It's the grabbing of forearms that's random.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Well, that was right. And that's why I asked you
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: to tell me where the photo was, that AI photo
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: of us kissing. Because in my memory... we were also
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: holding our forearms. And I thought, oh, is that a thing?
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: But that's not what was happening.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: No.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: It was like one arm around the other.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: It was a passionate embrace.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was also fake.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny when you do a double take. I
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: think I've told you this before. I was on a
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: beach in Waiheke, strangely enough. The Hauraki Beach Show, weekdays
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: from 4 on Radio Hauraki. Now that's good listening. And
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: it's live.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: What are you listening to there?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, me?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Four to seven weekdays.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's quite specific.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: And I heart radio.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: What? Cheers.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Now, I didn't know it
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: was a nudie beach.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: I know the one.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: And... I was lying there, and I'll be honest with you,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I was pretty hungover. And with my trunks on, by
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: the way, which is neither here nor there. I don't
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: mind not wearing trunks.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Well, if you didn't know it was a nude beach
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: and you were naked, there'd be a problem.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: And I was on my belly, and I must have
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: just sort of dozed off.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Why is on my belly so funny?
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: And anyway, my head was to the side. And when
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I opened my eyes, what I saw before me, about
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: the same distance, again, about six, eight feet, Mogi, was
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: a guy bending over, a really old guy, putting his
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: beach towel down. And the most enormous pair of testicles
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I've ever seen in my life.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: So you're seeing that from behind. His anus is pointing
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: at you?
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: His anus is pointing at me. Yeah. And he's just
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: got the danglers there and I.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I literally just opened my eyes and that's what I saw.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: And I was like, holy fuck. I wasn't expecting.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: We're cutting this thing. Why would we cut this?
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: I meant more of a clip.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's a clip. Thank you.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And they were enormous. But the same thing, which
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: was I was not expecting to see that. No, that's right.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Now, there's nothing wrong with it.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with it at all.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: But I'm not expecting to see it.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: Did you say the same thing to him? Did you say,
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: I wish I'd sell more of that?
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Like Mogi did.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: No, we didn't have any kind of conversation.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Well, there probably wasn't much more to see. No.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: And then he just like, well, no, he sat down.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: On his nuts.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: On his massive testicles.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: Did he like get one of them and make it
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: a chair and the other one was like a footrest
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: and then sort of sit on one? It put its
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: feet up on the other.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Did every time you sat down, there was a squeak
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: like a rubber toy that a dog plays with?
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, Mogey.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah, Mogey.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, Mogey, and no teasing.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: And I want to be quite clear about that.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, it was my wife and I
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: and two friends of ours, and actually they must have
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: known in hindsight. But anyway, quite a few people ended
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: up turning up at this beach fully nude, and then
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I had the dilemma of, oh– Do I go nude?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Because it's a nude. Otherwise, it feels like you're just
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: there to perv.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: A family member of mine goes to that nudist beach.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I know the one.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: It's along from Manitangi. It's around the rocks. Yes, yes.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And she was approached by it. She goes down there
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: for a nude sunbathe.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: And then she was approached by a young gentleman.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: She was like, and he just stood on her son.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: And they've been together now for about three years. Wow.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: How about that?
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: How good.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: How about that?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: But, yeah.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Massive balls on them.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: What I also noticed was that, in fact, everyone on
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: that beach, your story excluded here, Mogi, was old.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: We're talking 60s, 70s.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: 80s, 90s and today.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: And today.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: He's done you there, that old guy.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, he didn't care.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Was he looking at you?
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Nah, he had his ass to me, remember?
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Over his shoulder, Keezy Styles?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Nah, he just had his ass to me.
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: The eye of Sauron.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: He's done you with his brown eye there. Fuck yeah.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, it was quite a sight, I've got to say. Oh, yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Especially when you're running a bit of a hangover.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: You probably don't need it, to be fair. When I
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: was at anybody's anus, I think.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Well, I.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Just to clarify.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Even Keezy's.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: There was no real anus action.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Well, there must have been if he was being alive. Well, yes,
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: but he had a very. But your eye was drawn.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: But he had a very sunken buttocks. And so.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: It was more just.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: It's clearly like ingrained in your memory.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Huge testicles.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: That's the thing that gets you.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: That's the thing that drew my eyes.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I don't have a huge ball bag.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: No, neither.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: For some reason, I'm picturing like a grandfather clock where
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: his anus is the face of the clock.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: And then down below is just two pendulums. Two pendulums,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: but on the face of the clock, the anus, are
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: two hands, and they belong to Jase.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: Two hands.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had my two hands on his anus.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: And he's like, what's the time, Jase? And you're like,
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: it's go time. That's what I'm picturing, Jase.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Come on, man.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Is that not how it was?
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: No. That's all genius. Do you know, when I was
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: over in Mexico, where we ended up, a similar thing happened.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: ended up on Anudis Beach and didn't realise. Same thing, actually,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: on the other side of rocks. Really small town, only
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: had about 30 people there, but quite a good little
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: tourist town there. And we ended up in these chalets,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: which were on Anudis Beach. Right, okay. Me and a
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: very good mate of mine who was, in those days,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: and this was 20-odd years ago, he's come as much, well,
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: he's not, back then he was homophobic. Like, you couldn't
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: grab his ass without him firing up.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: You know, so you're constantly grabbing his ass. And now
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: he loves it. Anyway, there was an old fellow that
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: was there. And he would stand. He was, I'd say,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: early 70s.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: Cowboy hat on. huge testicles.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: You just gestured to your tits.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: No, but I couldn't go below. Okay, because there was
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: a desk there. Anyway, every day he would go down
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: and stand where the tide lapped at the shore, right,
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: maybe midway up his calf. Yes. And then he'd turn
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: around with his hands on his hips and just stand
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: there and just look back up at the beach and
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: just face everybody there. That was sunbathing on the beach.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Can I ask, was it legs akimbo?
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like he was a superhero.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, good.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: With a flag on a flagstick and the flag is
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: waving behind him.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: You know, like he's some kind of a returned veteran hero.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: And my mate was just sitting there fuming about it,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: wondering what was going on. But I've never seen anybody
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: do that with shorts on.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: No.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? He was only doing that.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: to show everybody his humongous fatos.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: But also your mate who was fuming about it, that's
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: a local there.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: Your mate's in a strange country in a strange town.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. This guy wasn't local. He was American.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, I was picturing a Mexican guy.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: No, that would have been great.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's obviously the local, you know, tradition.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: No, people come from far and wide to get their
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: Ds out and show everyone. It's a real peacocking sort
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: of a thing, you know?
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And I think you must reach an age where you
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: just don't fucking care anymore.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: Well, not only do you not care.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: You care about having it out.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got to get it out.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you want it to air. Well, not even that.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: You just get your fucking weird jollies off of it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, people's discomfort.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: There'll be someone listening to this right now who loves
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: doing that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: And is thinking, fuck yeah.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: This guy gets it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Listen to these guys, yeah.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: You know, it's all power to you. Know what I'm saying?
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: Kia kaha, man.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Just.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Do what you do, man. It's all G.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: Hey, listen to the big show, 4-7 weekdays, Radio Hodaki.