Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / Boundaries, Purpose & Self-Discovery with Pretty Vee

Transcript

Boundaries, Purpose & Self-Discovery with Pretty Vee · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, y'all.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Is Lauren La Rosa with the latest with Laurena Rosa
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: on Black Effects and I cannot wait to see you
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: guys at the fourth Annual Black Effects Podcast Festival. Okay,
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: we're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, April twenty
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: fifth at Palman Yards and it's hosted by me alongside
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: DJ MV and charlottagnea God. We got drink chances of
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Noriega and Djafing. We gotta keep it positive, Sweetye with
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: My Girl, Christopher n Haslt. We got Reality with the
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: King with My Guide, then my brother Carlos King, and
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: y'all know he does reality commentary like nobody can. Now.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: We also have Don't Call Me White Girl, the podcast
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I Love Mona and Club five to twenty podcasts, along
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: with the Grits and Eggs podcast. So this lineup sack Baby,
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: turn up. You're also gonna want to check out the
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: panels that we have lined up too, Feature and keV
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: on stage, Tika Sumpter, and John Hope Bryant just to
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: name a few. Of course, it's way bigger than podcast.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: bus the food truck Court to keep you fed while.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: You visit us.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: and grab your ticket now at black effect dot Com
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: slash podcast Festiday.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Jess Heal with Doctor J, a production of
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: What's up, good people?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I am Doctor J and this is Just Here with
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Doctor J. Listen, some of y'all have been watching the
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: episodes and y'all been eavesdropping.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Y'all stop doing that.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and click that subscribe, but come on over
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: here and see what we're doing in this healing community.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: We are healing. We're getting folks.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Minds right, hard, right, soul right, whatever's wrong with you,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: come over here and we'll get it right. But we
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: are doing something that I think that in this time
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: where we are in the world, it's necessary. And we're
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: having conversations that are going to provide insight, conversations that
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: are going to give you the tools where you get
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: to hear from others who are navigating their journey of healing.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: What's some good people? Welcome back to another episode of
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Just Here with Doctor J. And I am your host,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Doctor J. Barn Nets Listen today, I'm excited about our guests.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Some of you know her as an actor, comedian, phenomenal
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: skits with Daisy. You've seen her on Wild They're out,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: but today she is in the building at the Healing Community.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: My good friend, pretty v you do like they're doing
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: drink Champ, what's up?
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Listen? Bk Man. Listen. She listened.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: She said, listen, I want some white flowers, and we
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: got a white flowers.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Ruth. I'm sorry. I don't know where you are. I
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: don't know where you.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: Is, Bro.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know why they cracked me up, man, But anyway, listen.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: She was like, Yo, I'm gonna be a Dallas. She
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: was like, why you ask me on the show. I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: was like, all right, all right, we feel with Tuesday.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: So she was like, here's my rider.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I need a black car and it was white, white flowers,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: white car. Like, I mean, what do you expect, bro?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: But we we honored, We honored. B How you doing great?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You look good?
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: As my mama said, baby, you look like money.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Come on now, come on, mama, you look like money.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: If I was on a coming to America, be like, baby,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the woman got her own money. The boy got his
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: own money. So listen you you have. I've been seeing
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you a lot lately talking more. Yeah, And I think
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing to see because oftentimes when we're
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: looking at people who work in entertainment, we don't see
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the evolution of who they are within their character and
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: not within the characters that they play, but within the
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: character and the life that they lead. And it's been
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: beautiful to see this evolution of you in this season.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: What how did all this come about? What shifted?
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: You know, because you're doing more interviews, You're sitting down
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: having more discussions, like what shift?
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I just think, you know, I think there was just
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: a shift in just showing people my ranges, like you know,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: just the dimensions of pretty, you know, not just like
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: oh on the table doing skids like those are great.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I love making the world laugh, like I love being
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: an all purpose entertainer. But sometimes to is kind of
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: sometimes in the season you have to dig down deep
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: and it's like you're more than that, Like let's show
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: the world that, like, let's speak more, let's articulate, Let's
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: get into different conversation, difficult ones, you know, let's get
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: on these shows. Though you can see like Hey, your author.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Now you have your own devotion. Oh yes, you come
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: from a family that is very strong minded. My mom
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: is a pastor. So let's get into that type of
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: space so they can kind of see more of prettey
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: me than just you know, be on that table, jumping
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: up and down, booty short tone and rebox sweeping and
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: flapping and all of that and looks. It's great because entertaining,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: and I love what I do, but it's more, it's
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: more to me than just that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I love about it and the way
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: my mind works CJ. In my vocabulary, I would say pusillanimus,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: pusillanimis pusillaniis that means to have range. You have such
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: a range that I think people need to see because
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: oftentimes when people see us in our various spaces and field,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: they limit us. Like for me, I am having the
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: opposite experience, Like this whole Looking for Rule series is
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: just people, just people, just like, Oh my god, I
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: didn't know who's funny. I'm like, I'm more than a therapist. Yeah,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I'm more than a deep thinker and a thought provoking
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: leader in the space some mental health. And it's been
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: fun for me because my family knows me as like
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: just Jabin's comedy, you know, and being silly. And so
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I love that we are allowing the world to see
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: more of who we are and them not just pigeoncage
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: us into just being this yeah.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And just being in a box, you know. Yeah. We
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I don't like boxes.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't go buy.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: The rules either.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I don't.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: You know, when people put stuff in boxes, it just
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: makes me cringe because I feel like you're taken away
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: from all that I can do and that all that
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I can be. So I just I hate boxes.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: I think it's a space too. Like as creators, we
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: just and now we just can't be in a box.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: There's so many talented people out there, yes, and it's
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: so much more that we have to do. So when
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: we have opportunities like this and this type of atmosphere,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: we're able to show people like, hey, it's it's more.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, she's not just funny, like this girl
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: could speak, she could drive a conversation. She's dope. So
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I just think that in this space, I'm just shifting
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: in a space that just going to be show more pretty,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: you know, just whatever I put down on picking back up.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all heard that whatever she putting down, she picking
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: back up. I love that because I often I'm the
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: only boy. So I grew up with sisters and my
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: mom has twelve sisters, and oftentimes I grew up where
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: women I don't think that they were limited, but I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: felt I feel like limitations were placed on them indirectly.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: So it's like, if you were a mom and if
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: you worked at the hospital, you were the mother that
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: worked at the hospital.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: It wasn't the woman. Wow, you know what I mean.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: And so I think what you're going to do is
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: allow women to not feel confined to this one space
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: because I like to look at it like this, right,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I think we're like I had to learn this through
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: therapy then and also through a sitting with my bishop
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and knowing that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I was very layered and that was okay.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because oftentimes when you're gifted, you're punished for being gifted,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: and what people would do is say you can't do
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: more than that. Yep, you should only do that.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Have you had that happen to you?
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's it's one of the days in my
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: book that it says I'm gifted not crazy, And I
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: think and people need to understand that it's different.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It's different having a cart oh hard tear moment.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: Man, Yeah, you gotta you gotta know that drifted not crazy.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: And I just sold my bishop that at church of
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: because we celebritate his birthday. And I told him thank
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: you for allowing me to understand what that meant, Like,
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I'm gifted, not crazy because a lot of people again
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I'm I go by. I'm just I'm a character person.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So I love characters. I love character work, I love
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: character building. I love to dress up like different characters.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: I mean I have so many characters that I portray
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: six characters as now. I look at the Jim Carrey's,
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I look at the Robin Williams, look at the Tyler Perry's.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: How we were able to get out of those characters. Yeah,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Tyler Pree may walk around like but dyah, he may
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: say certain things, but it's how you come out of
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: it and not be in that and know like this
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: is a gift. I'm not walking around with my head
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: chopped off, walking in the streets talking to myself. I'm
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: not in a space of I don't know how to
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: get out of something. Now I'm depressed about it. Now
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: am I being my full self? No, I'm holed. And
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I know this is an act, this is a character,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: and now I could come out of this and be
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: who I'm called to be. So that's what I've learned. Like, look,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: and I used to battle with that because I'd be like, Okay, well,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I know I'm gifted, but I had these characters and
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: you know, I have to do this because my mom's this.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: And I used to go back and forth with myself
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: with my gift, and I used to be like, you
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: know what, I'm not that I am gifted. And God
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: chooses who he wants to bless with that, and we
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: get it. But we also have to know in this
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: space that we're in, how to maneuver and how to
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: get out of it, and how to know this is
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: just one thing that we just got to get into
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: and performing and get out of it and get in
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: our sound mind because a lot of people don't have
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: a sound mind, especially in the entertainment dusry in the
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: acting world. Yeah, so you have to know are you gifted?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Are you just all over the place? And and my
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: friends here and I always gotta throw her in this
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: conversation always because she's such a light in my life.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: And we was eating at a restaurant I I won't
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: forget it. It was called Tuk Tuck in Atlanta, and
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: she was like, V then le me first with your mind, baby,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: because you're so talented up there. You're so gifted and
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: it's so strong and it's so this and that, and
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: you just have to like know how to like control
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: that and maneuver and just know that you're just You're
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: the most talented person I know. And I'm like tag.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: It really sat with me and I made it my
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: screen server savor because I told her, texted to me
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: what she said and I made it. And I used
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: to just always look at it and be like, I'm gifted.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I'm gifted. I'm gifted. I'm gifted. So shout out to
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: be small.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: Yes we love she. She she is here. She is Yes,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: she is here.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: You know what what I love about the both of you,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: you and b both is I think the hardest thing
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: what people don't realize is to live on stage.
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And what I mean about living on stage is all
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: of you is front and center. And what people don't
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: realize when you live on stage and all of your
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: front and center. You get to see me fall, you
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: get to see me have shortcomings, you get to see
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: me not get it right. And I was talking about
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: this earlier, and this is why the church has to
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: get healthy emotionally. It's because we have done a I'm
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: gonna just say a piss poor job of restoring people.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: And so what happens is when someone is living on
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: center stage, and when there is a moment that they
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: fall off stage, were quick to just and we don't
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: restore them to where they can get back on stage.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And this is not about performing. This is about living
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: because most of your lives has been in front of us,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: in front of the cameras, and so you're growing as.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: You are on stage.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And I love the both of you because you guys
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: have such courage.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: It's like what I do. I tell people.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: They said, how do how do you get up and
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: talk about surviving to suicide attempts? I said, I don't
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: see how I cannot. The scripture said they were over
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: They overcame by the words of their testimony. And so
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: to watch you both evolve in real time in the
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: midst of people throwing rocks. Yeah, and I don't think
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: people realize how powerful that is. To continue to grow
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: while folks are still still doing and you and you
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: continue to get up, you continue to reshape, you continue
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: to rediscovery, and you continue to realign, and you continue
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: to reform uh uh, and you continue to be read
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: all over again. Like you know what, I'm gonna get
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: up and do it all over again. Yeah, that is beautiful.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: And I call it resilience. I think that we have
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: for sure. Yeah, like resilience. First, I've been, like I said,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: me and been friends now about to be ten years.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I wrote her on Instagram and was like, I want
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: to be your friend. You know, he's so funny, you know,
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: just doing certain things. And I've watched her grow, she
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: watched me grow. And I think that we're all. I
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: feel like we rolled over and just became like yesterday,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: like oh, we just becat because it's we're reinventing ourselves.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: We were creating ourselves. There's so much things that are
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: happening on social media that we're falling into place. That's
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: why we love Kevin Hart so much because Kevin Hart
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: knows what to do, he knows how to talk to
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: the coast nights, you know how to hang with the
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: jew skis because you have to get into what's happening
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: right now. And I just think it comes from us
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: getting ourselves together in order to become different versions of ourselves.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Like we have to be that, we have to stay
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: home and be true, but sometimes we got to go
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: with the season. And if you want to be this,
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I'll be that. But I ain't selling myself. You want
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: to do that, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: keep me together. And I love It's a beautiful thing
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: to see when we were evolving.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Yea.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Because also you guys are not allowing people to keep
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: you where they want you. Oh yeah, Oh no, because
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: people love to do that.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: They love to do that.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I don't do that.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: They love to keep you where they want you.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: And lest I'm a disruptor.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: One of my favorite books if you haven't read it,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Bishop Jake's Disrupted Thinking, and he talks a lot about
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: being a disruptor. And what I realized because when I
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: came into the mental health space, man, there was a
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: lot of folks that was upset because of that mind,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: how's this football player coming into this space? I had
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: people who've been in the space twenty years say, how
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: is he getting this opportunity? But I knew, and it's
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: funny that you said it about being sending you that message.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: One of my advisors sent me this same message three
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: days ago. She says, the enemy fights you in your
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: mind because that's where you have to free people.
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: Well, you better come on, manicuring, all that looking nice
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: and neat, you know, well, manicured, he fights you.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: In your mind because that's where you have to free
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: people whenever. And because I was in gifted and tality class,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: as long as I was spiritually gifted, I was prophetic
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: as a kid. That's when I discovered I was having dreams,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: that I was having visions. So I never fit. I
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: was playing ball and was gifted, but I never fit.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: And so when you don't fit, you often try to
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: sort of insert yourself into places that will accept your gifts.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: But they won't accept you. Make us laugh, but we
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: don't really like you.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Yep, I mean, yep, you know what I'm saying.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: And so nobody talks about the complexities of that and
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: what it can do to your mind.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: And that's how you know that God has really put
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: his hands on you.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in the midst of all those becomes someone using
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: you too, and you can feel it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Listen, just heal. So I wanted, like, what is your
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: healing journey been.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Like in this oh my healing journey? Hmm. And when
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: you say healing journey, what do you.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Mean your journey to discovering yourself? Your journey of becoming
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: more of who God created you to be, becoming that
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: better version of yourself?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: What was that like for you?
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Was it therapy? Was it someone that says something to you?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: What was that like for you to wake up and
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: see that I'm more than what I've gone through?
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Who I think I woke up. I'm gonna tell you
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: the year I feel like I woke up twenty fifteen.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I was depressed, anxiety, battling the what ifs and the maybes.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: Couldn't sleep for like three months, just up in my head,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: just battling bad. And of course when you have a
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: mother who prays like your mom, you know that he
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: opened the doors about five o'clock in the morning said,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: on devil, you gotta go. They every it's like, you
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: gotta go. Whatever it is, it got to go. And
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: fifteen I was going through that I was getting from college,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: and you know, I just felt like I was going
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: to get a job right after school. I just felt like,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be the next Angie Martinez. I'm gonna be
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: the female Rookie Smiley. I just want to do radio.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: That was my passion. I just like, I just wanted
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: to do radio. And my mom prophesied to me when
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I was in middle school, and she said, the door
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: told me to say that you're gonna be in the arts.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, okay, so where is that?
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: Like am I gonna be a painter? Like? Because I
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: didn't know. I know what the arts was, but back
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: then in middle school, you're not rethinking of all the
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: in depth of what she was saying. So I was like, okay,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: well whatever. So when I graduated, I heard it again
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: from my janitor in college, mister Daniels. He's in my
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: book as well, and I call him one of my angels.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: He said to me, he said, I don't know what
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I see, but I just see so many people like
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: like loving on you, Like it's just like this is YouTube,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: like You're just gonna be on fire, like oh my god.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: So the thing about it is with prophetic and when
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: people give you a prophetic word, you have to be
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: obedient to see the promise. You can't just be like, oh,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: i'm gonna what they said is gonna come to the
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: past tomorrow, we gonna be what you better come home?
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: You better come home.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Like I'm like, we think that's what the thing is.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, well they said I'm gonna do this
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: and I'm gonna be this famous person or I'm gonna
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: get a million dollars. But no, you have to be
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: obedient in order to see what God said he's gonna do,
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: and which is a promise, and his promises never failed.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's just like, are we gonna get to that? We
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: hear the word, but are we gonna get to it
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: by being obedient? And when I graduated from college, I
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: heard it. He told me. My mom told me, and
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: I was waiting, but I could told myself, and I'm
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: always doing these nyvivews. I said to myself. I said,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: I was put my faith into all my mom was
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: saying and not onto God. Like I didn't have that
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: close relationship. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: or whatever my mama say. That's what it is, all right,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: She preached about it, she prophesied. She okay, Mom, you said,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: let's do it. But not knowing God was getting me together.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: He was molding me, he was shaping me. He was saying, look,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: you can't lean on nothing else, not a beauty, not
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: a skit, not a not even a skit, because I
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: wasn't doing that then. But not not your mama, your dad.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: You have to know who I am because when I
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: about to take you, it's gonna require a whole different
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: type of version of you. And that means I needed
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: to get closer to me. So when I graduated all
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: that was happening, I got depressed. You know, my mom,
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: you know, mister Daniels called me back that year and
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: was like, I tell you what the Lord said. And
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: then after that I went to Miami. Then I got
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: a job in Charlotte, and then I fought myself in
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: the street. I was fighting myself in the street doing
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: a skit and my friend was like, you should do this.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: You go go viral, my best friend. And then after
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: that I went viral. I did all those things, but
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I was still broke. I was still working for the fair,
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: for Marriott. I was still figured out my life at
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: TJ Max. I was working you know for artists. You know,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I was just doing all these different things and not
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: seeing what my mom said or Miss Daniel said again,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: still not getting closer to him. And then after that
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: all this happened to Atlanta, and that's when I ended
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: up like, you know what, God, I got to give
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: this to you. And then twenty nineteen eighteen is when
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: the journey happened of me getting here. Of course I
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: fell short in twenty one, twenty two, twenty three, twenty four.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like twenty four as well as like, you
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: know what, whatever I put down, I'm picking back and
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: I'm giving it to you. And that's just what it is.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to lean on you know me. And
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: of course everyone sees the glad on social media, but
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: don't understand we have to there's a journey to to
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: get to a healing process. You just don't wake up
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: and say, well I'm healed. No, you still have to
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: read scriptures. You still have the get at your devotion. No,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: you still have the gein in your secret place. You
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: still have to pray, you gotta, you still have to
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: figure out what yo, what do you want to do?
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: What's that one to ten? What is that who you're
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: letting go in this season, who you're taking with you,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: who don't have to asis to you? What's the shedding
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: looks like?
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: And I losso have friends throughout the journey and throughout
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: the where I need to go, so I have to
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: get rid of all those people. So I feel like, yes,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: I'm hold but in the midst of something of people
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: around me, I still have to heal because now I
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: don't let things go. So healing is still a thing.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: It's I don't think anyone is one hundred percent to hell.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you have things that you're healing from.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure everyone in here has a thing that
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: they are trying to get through from. A child, of course,
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: you think of a six seven, eight year old child
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: who's always in the mirror, playing with Barbie dolls and
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: you know, trying to get close to your all do it.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: We all have things that were battling, and I think
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: for me, I came to the conclusion that I'm not
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: going to do this alone. I can't do the loan.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I got to give this to God. So in twenty
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: twenty three, twenty four is when I was like, oh, okay,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna put Vina first and I'm gonna continue to
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: make sure all the ducks are on my row and
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get everything that I need to get done.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: What was what was the first thing you did to
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: put yourself first?
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: I mean boundaries, the word no, the word no, And
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: it's okay to let go. That's what I said. It's
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: okay to let go. It's like it's okay, like I
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: don't need them, It's okay, I'm good, it's okay. Because
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: the thing about this is my discernment. I don't play
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: by that. And he could tell you one thing about
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: two things for sure, I won't be like, oh that
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: ain't it three thing? What is it?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I thought it was three things for sure? What did
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: they say two?
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: I said two?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was three.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so two, three, whatever, okay. But my discernment,
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I just be like, I don't see it. I don't
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: see for them around me. I don't see for me,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: and I don't do things just because there's money attached
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: to it. I've never been that girl. I've never been thirsty.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I've never been because I know that God's gonna provide.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: I didn't already had that. I already know that what
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: that's God, And of course we know that things do happen.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: But I don't walk around the spirit of black. I
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: don't walk on this bit of poverty. I don't do
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: those things because I just know what that looks like.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: So I always say that God, I'm heal, I'm blessed,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I set free, You're gonna open up these doors. If
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Veena name is on it, the vana eck Excel name
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: is on it, it belongs to me. So I already
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: know that. And my discernment is always always always heightened
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: to know, like that person, don't need to be around
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: that person.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: I got.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Let go listen when I tell you this, this, this,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: this is blessing me because I often share with my mentees,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: like I'm ment to a lot of young men that
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: are in the space of therapy now, and they all
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: look at me like, you know, man, you're you're, you're, you're,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: you're the the trail blazer. And I often tell them
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, man, let me tell you something, man
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: like this, this this was not what I had on
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: the being old car yep, And one of them. He's
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: in his PhD program and he's navigating through so much.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: And the thing I said to him yesterday, I said,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: where you're trying to go is going to require a
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: level of acuity, which means keenness. You gotta be keen.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Keen he he attaches himself to people quickly.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: That was a big snap, Doctor j. That was a
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: big snap. Put the NFL hands down. That is a snap.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, what, you're looking over your shoulder, like
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: we in.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: The same place.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Well, geness Man like the keenness.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: He attaches himself to people like I mean, and I
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: stopped my finger because it's like you can look up
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, you just met them. And I also
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: say to them, especially particularly for folks who are in
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: the space of helping people, or you're in a space
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: where you're in a position where you can help, you
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: have to be careful of people who will present themselves
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: helpless the access to give you know what I'm saying,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And I said, you gotta be keen because if you're not,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: you will find yourself being attached to people that You'll
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: be attached because you think that there's love there. But
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: these are folks that are killing you because they're sucking
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: the life out of you. Because every time that we've
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: had a conversation, it's like you know again.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can't mix love and assignment. That's not
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: even you know, the assignment and love. Then you got
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: to separate what that is.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: You know my managers are often and she gonna appreciate this, Crystal,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: you will appreciate this. She's from Louis that talking.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: You can't the assignment. She's gonna say, you can't.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you some people, if you called
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: to somebody, you can't differentiate what that is supposed to be.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Some people, you're called to walk with them, not be
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: with them. Desern that walking with them and being with
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: them are two different things. Because you know my prayers
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: where God, when when when Bishop Borders and Bishop James,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: when when they took me on the wing? What it
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: took me on the wing? My prayer was that God,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I don't want to pervert my gift.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: I don't want to pervert this.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: That's why when people say, well, you like I never
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: hear anything about you. You're just like you, So mystique
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and steer it because I.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Relish this.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's too it's too special to just be everywhere.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: And I think we don't talk enough about that. And
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: so what happened is most gifted people end up being
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: exploreded wow, or their gifts get perverted. And when your
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: gift get perverted, and some spaces you get pimped out,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: some spaces you get ran through.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: It's some spaces man.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: They just I mean they suck you so dry and
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: like you were saying earlier, especially in this entertainment space.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: So when you talk.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: About being grounded and being a woman that's grounded, oh yeah,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: that's powerful.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: And then you have to be I think in the
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: industry that I'm in, it's a lot of us, but
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: not a lot of us. So we have to like
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: move in a certain way. It's like yesterday I was
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: on Instagram and I was just looking and I was
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: just like wow, Like we're really getting into a space
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: where we're becoming you know, young legends right like they're
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: waiting for something to happen as far as who's going
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: to do a sitcom or who's going to do this,
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Like it's like we are up next, and we have
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: to move. Like I said, we have to move a
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: certain way to see the promise, because there's so many
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: things that God sees. He's looking like, I want to
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: do this, but this person has to move away from her.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I want to do this, but she's not seeing it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: I want to do this and people don't understand. People
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: around you can suffocate your gift to people around you
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: can delay what God has. That's what you have to
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: be very mindful of who you connect with and what's fruit,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: what's fruitful? Who is bearing fruit?
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: Good fruit?
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Because I want that fruit like I'm round my I'm
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: round b that's fruit. I know. I know I'm sowing
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: into a growing ground. I'm around my other homegirls, I
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: know I'm sowing into growing grounds. I have to.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Listen. Let's go spirits be for a second.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Come on right, DNS want to get it to my
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: eyes and tell me, come on be the as.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: How do you navigate monetary spirits?
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: How do I navigate monetary spirits?
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: So crazy? When I hear it, come Ima, always tell
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: me watch out for monetary spirits. And I'm gonna go
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: social media with it too, right, go social first of all?
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: For me, when I when I know that someone's around me,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: that is a monitoring spirit or if I see I
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: it's a feeling comes over me. Really, then they're like,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: oh lord, that's a monitory spirit. This is the thing
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: people look on social some time. People don't like, they
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: don't comment, they're just watching. Some people are watchers. Some
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: people are suckers. They are hitchhikers, you know, like you
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: better not bring no hitchhiking spirit back to my house.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Like it's those moments and people look, look, look, but
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: don't even show the love that they need to because
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: they're just monitoring, monitoring what you're doing. That's why I
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: don't post a lot. People used to be like moments
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: to be like, don't post off, don't post what you
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: can bout your house.
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: You didn't did this?
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: You post your collar beat contest to it because my
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: mom will tell the same thing. We don't post it.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Don't post it because there's monitoring spirits that could come
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: in and do a thing. Yes, there's witches and warlocks
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: all over the place. Come on, there's witches. There's warlocks.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: There's voodoos and ludus and koudoos, the poodos, White magic,
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: blue magic, everything that was it's all I've never tried
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: blue magic. Are we like, yeah, we never tried no,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: so so I just like there's so much of that around,
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: especially social And while we're praying, the enemy's praying too.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: While we're giving it to God. The witches out here
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: trying to delay a thing too. You better come what
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, why that's happening, And I'm saying why that's happening.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: That's happening too. I know because again, my mother is
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: one of the ones that's gonna speak about it.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: That's why I love my mama, because they're about They
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: can't fool with her, Yeah they can. Mama gonna observe maybe,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Mama gonna I am.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: I gonna sit there across with them pink slippers on
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: and look to see what's going on.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: And she's gonna sit there and she's gonna say, baby,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: test that, make sure that's God. Make sure that's God,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you something.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: And you can't bring everyone home. That's my mama is.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: You can't bring everyone home. My mama, I come aneve acolyte,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: stick and get indig But when it's time to bring
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: that person home, when it's time to sit in her area.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: And my mom's a seeer, so She's like that, ain't nick,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: and they could go home.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: We have the same moment.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know what my birthday was?
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Is everything good right here?
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: That?
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you know, seriously, and then you have
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: friends who are able to see too. So when you
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: have your friends look at a person and be like,
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: that's not it.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: That's not it, man, listen tell you so I'll tell
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: you quick story i'd never get well. I was engaged
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: when I was thirty three, ten years ago. Yeah, I'm
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: ten years ago. Oh, thank God for waking waking me up.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: My mama always said God God protects fools and babies.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: But I was a fool.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: And so I was engaged and I was sitting I
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: was sitting at home just like this, watching TV, and
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: my mama called me. I've been engaged probably about a
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: month and a half. My mother called me and she says, uh,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: hein king. She called me the good doctor. Now just
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: at this time she was calling me king. She said,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: ain't king, and said, Mama, don't like to get in
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: your bus. And especially when it comes to me, she
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: really leaves. Like my sister, she'd be all of they bids,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: but for me, she kind of leave me alone, and
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: she said, she said, Jay, you show that's your wife.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I knew that it wasn't her, and I was engaged
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: and that's all she said. She said, are you sure
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: that's your wife?
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, Mama, I can't remember what I said.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I said, Mama, I mean you know, she said, son,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: I ain't saying nothing, but I'm just asking are you I.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: Just want to make sure that you sure.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna support you on whatever you decide, but I
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: want to make sure you are sure. And I knew
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: then she saw that it wasn't. Yeah, And probably by
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: the month and a half later, we called it all.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think we talk enough about you. People like us.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: We can go there because we come from parents who
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: are believers, but to talk about what it's like to
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: have parents who can see for you when you can't see.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: And then sometimes two as kids, we'd be like, what
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: are you talking about? Like what do you mean?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: You don't know folks.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: My mom had told me them folks jealous of you,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, mamaye, going back and forth, going.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Yep, yep. And then like you said, the free will
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: and your mom allow you to do you and the
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: next minute somebody neck and broke out a rash. Then
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: your dream is delayed because you ain't listen. No, seriously,
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: it happens like that. I feel like if you didn't
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: listen to mom. Sometimes the assignment which has been in
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: a different type of way, because sometimes too when we
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: say okay, Mom, we're talking about and we go and
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: marry or we go and date, it's like, okay, you'll
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: see punkin and next minute all hell break loose, you know.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: So it's crazy, you know. I mean people I counseled
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of couples and therapy. There's so many women
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: that I discounseled therapy that said, oh they was doing something.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I'm extracting me chuck over there moving around. How many?
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: How many people that have said that they knew they
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: weren't supposed to marry the person, wow, and they went
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: through with it anyway because they didn't want to call
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: off the wedding because they had already sent out the invitation.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Ain't nag getting said that if I know I'm not
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: supposed to marry John, we're not going and we basically
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: not in money.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: And I was sitting there thinking about it, because it's
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: just recently happened that I was working with with somebody
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: that that's coming out of a divorce, and they said,
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I knew, but I didn't want to bear the shame.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: And what I realized early on.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Is that I would rather deal with the feeling of
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: not knowing what would have being, rather than they have
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: to deal with the feeling of what you have to
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: live with now, and we don't think about that because
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of times you know and I and I
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: have to learn this is especially as I'm aging, is
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: the importance of having people who love you, that see
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: for you like I have to. Like I've run everything
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: through a checker, I have to. I gotta sifted, and
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I gotta test the spirit because there's some things and
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I'll even be transparent. In this season, God is teaching
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: me how to hear again and to hear only him
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: because I can remember, I'm in a great season where
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I feel more of myself. But I got to a
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: place where I had all these different voices. Everybody got
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: a word doctor J. God knowing this, doctor J knowing
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: this this God. No no no, no, no, no, no
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: no no. I gotta retrain your ear to retrain. I
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: gotta retrain your ear because what happened. You just said something.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: What I've experienced this in real time, which is here too.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: And then the thing about this is our dependency gets on.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: Who told us you better come home? I want to
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: sold this. Yeah, your dependencies start going to Bishop and
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: it start going to Nancy up the street, and you like,
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: tell me, tell me more. And then God's like, well,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: you know it was for me. They could just be
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: delaying a thing. And then again, we have to go
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: through the process before we see the promise. So there's
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: a process before anything. There was a process for me
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: when I was depressed. There was a process when I
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: wasn't sleeping in order to get here, in order for
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: me to go through all that when I'm twenty fifteen
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: to twenty eighteen or whatever time it's twenty six seventeen,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: when I was like, okay, that's it. I had to
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: go through that so God could get me going, heighten me,
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: heighten my wisdom, heightened the knowledge, heighten my discernment. Of course,
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: does residents still linger, yes, because you're like, okay, I'm
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: back on the track. I feel great. And then you
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: go back into that sunken place and then you got
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: to do it again. I feel like we've all been there.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: But I've never left God alone. I've never said, oh,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: he don't understand goodbye. No, I've always kept him with me.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: And I put a name on it. I put Jesus
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: Christ on mine. So my thing is, it's like, that's
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: how I move.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: I never shun a thing that helped me, which is Jesus,
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: which is my Lord and savior. So I think for me,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: I think people have to understand that you have to
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: go through a process to see that promise, and you
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: have to go through a thing to get where you
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: got to go to, and you got to quiet the
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: noise because the room can become noisy. And then you're like,
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: who do I need to talk to or who I
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: need to call? It? Like you said, waiting on God.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: And you have to be Pacific too?
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Is that Pacific specific? You think about Pacific Ocean? No,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: suswifty and you been a drink Pacific Ocean?
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: No? No, that was a clothing line.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: It's timely year? Was that? I've never heard Pacific Ocean
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: clothing line? Was it in the fool?
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: Was fun?
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: It was? It was like a it's Cali brand, Pete.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: It's like no, Apo, what about that specific oshen?
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: So when it's all said and done, how do you
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: want people to remember.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Be m M, how do ill people to remember me?
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: From my heart? My heart, my love, my dedication, you know,
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: my humor.
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: I love to help people. I love to serve. I love.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: I'm very affected. I'm an affectionate friend. So I just
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: I just love what I'm able to give love, And
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: sometimes I love that week about doesn't come back. But
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: it's okay, that's not what I did it for. I
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: did it because I wanted to love on you. I
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: wanted to I see you, I see broken, I see hurt,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I see I like to build my people's back up.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: I love that. I love that because sometimes you have
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: to understand. God could tell me to help a friend,
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: and the enemy gets upset about that. M why are
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: you helping or why are you doing this? They're just
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: gonna go back and they're al ways, or they're gonna
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: just do a thing again. No, but I feel happy
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: when I'm able to hear that God told me to
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: do that, and I don't like nobody around me broken
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: either I want us to all stand tall. I want us.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: I'm always on my friends. Let's go put that part
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: in the middle hair, let's go and let's look cute
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: that I'm always big in my friends because I know
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: if I look good, they need to be with me too,
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: looking good. But I need them to be whole while
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: we do it. Because I'm a fun person. I don't
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: want all the Let's do it, Let's figure it out.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: How can we get there, how can we motivate each other?
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: What can we do? And sometimes her mam always tell me,
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: sometimes save that for you, because sometimes we'll give it
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: out so much and to be the same thing, same thing,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: and then it's like there's nothing left for yourself. But
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I don't care about that because I feel like I'm
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: doing an assignment. I do care about that, but I
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm on an assignment too, and I feel
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: like I get restored when when I get restored, but
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: I know that at that time my friend.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Doesn't need me your poor inward? Do you know how
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: to turn your poor?
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I do?
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: What does that look like?
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: I feel like one? I speak life over me every day? Right,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: And I just said it in the beginning. No is
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: my thing. That's how I begin to heal when it's no.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: And again, I'm not doing that in this season because
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: all my friends great, we're good. But I think when
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: I have to give out that and to put it
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: back into me, sitting with myself in my place and
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: my secret place, reading my word, listening to the words
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I want to be spoken over me, my music, you know,
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: making sure I do the things, working out, you know,
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: making sure my body good, making sure I stay in
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: the loop of the things I want to be in,
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: standing loop in the positive things. So I think for me,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: it's more of like I do little things that make
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: sure I'm okay. And yes, my mom is great, she's right.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: But if a friend needs me and I feel like
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: they don't and they don't, they don't have to say nothing. Yeah,
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: and I feel like I do because I don't. And and again,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: I like to pray over me before I'm bringing it
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: to my house anyway, So if I have to do
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: a thing, I'll just be like, oh, I'm good.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you have a really good balance because
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: it takes not only courage, but they're they're they're that
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: that's it takes a level of stillness internally, want to
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: be able to sit with himself right in solitude. One
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: of my favorite posts I love to always quote often
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: my mother Teresa. She says God is a friend to stillness, silence,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: and solitude. And I think that's a beautiful place to
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: me to be still, to have silence and be in
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: your own solitude. And I think I've learned personally how
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: to turn my poor inside because I'm the only boy.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: So you know, I go home. There's no dog.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I used to have a dog, so yeah, I gave
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: him my good friend. And and now I'm kind of
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: in a space where I come home like I go
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: out there and heal the world, I come back home now.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: When I first, when God first started elevating me, it
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: was very difficult to come home, just because what what
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: happened is that it was it was almost like playing ball,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: like you know, that's sixty minutes. I mean it is like,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're experiencing a high like no other, and
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: then after the clock schwike zero is like, all right,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: what's next? And it felt like that because I was
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: having this extreme high where I'm watching these men lives
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: be changed and transformed, and then I'm like, well, I
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: go home God and it's just me and one day
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: because believe it or not, like a lot of people
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: are like, oh, you seem so, but I'm a very
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: affectionate dude. I like love touch. Please don't y'all get
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: in my dms and talk about so just so, yes, yes,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: please do not touch me. I will call the cops,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: thank you. But for me and I like touch because
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: touch for me is connection and I'm not speaking about
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: touch in a sexual way. I'm speaking about touch in
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: a way that allows for me to feel comfort. And
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: one of the things that God had to really do
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: in my heart is not having a spouse or partner
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: to touch me is I had to learn how to
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: sit with him.
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I had to learn how to sit with him. And
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: I had to learn how to sit with him and
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: to sit and wait for his presence to enter the
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: room to feel comfort. Because man, that's a lonely place
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: when you can give out and then you go home
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: and that's nothing to be poured back in it. Yeah, yeah,
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: because everybody is you know, man, Doc, you changed my life.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: And I'm sitting up here, like I said, God, I
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: want that word that I gave him and then here's
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: how the enemy is. Do you. You will get home
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: and that silence will be loud. That silence of starts
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: saying look at you out had changed your lives and
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: look at your life. Wow, nobody talks about that. So
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: when you was talking about healing, it's an ongoing. Yeah,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: it's continuous. You know what I'm saying, Or should I say,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: becoming or identity should be ongoing. You should always be
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: reinventing yourself. You know. That's why I love arts, and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: you know, I executive produce. You know, I act, and
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: you know I mean author and I do all those
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: different things like you know, and I came up a
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: place where people just said, you know, just focus on football.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: But now I get to do all these different things
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: that each each Like when I come here and do this,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: this is healing from me, you know what I mean.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: It gives me life. When I get on stage, that
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: is fulfilling because I feel like I'm serving my purpose.
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: When I get to be an actor, I have fun
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: because I get to step out of Jay and be
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Whoever's character.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: And so I've.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Learned over the years how to get in touch with
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: certain parts of me because I remember my therapist telling
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: me this, if you don't find anything that gives you
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: the same excitement as football, you're gonna find yourself back
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: in a dark place.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I agree.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: And I think what most of us are looking for
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: is looking for a place where we can just not
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: only be whole, but where we can feel whole.
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: Mm and whole.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Really just not lacking anything. You feel home now all
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I do now Now, I wouldn't have been able to
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: say that because I always felt like I needed a
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: wife to feel whole. If I'm being honest, I was like, man,
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: I need to have a wife, I need to have
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: a partner. And I feel like that over the past year,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I said this cigar. I was walking through the airport
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: and and the the FW people, them people, they be like,
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: it's funny because they'd be like, Doc, when you're here,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: it this week, you know. And one day I was
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: at the ticket counter and the lady, another guy that
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: usually checked me in and he wasn't there, and this
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: lady she was.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: I walked up to the counter.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: She says, she said, what do you do? I said why?
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: She said, you have such a calm spirit, because everybody,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: I mean people were just crazy that morning, and I
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: was just up there just and I said, oh, man,
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: I said, we're all trying to get somewhere, and we
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: can't get that to the plane. Lead Baby, She said,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I wish I could have that level of peace and
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: ease in my life.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: She says, what do you do? What do you like?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Who are you on Instagram?
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I just told her I was this one. Pull her
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: phone out.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: And she said, she shows me a picture. She said,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: this is what I look like a few years ago,
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: and now I look like this because of stress.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Ugh, She said, I want to learn how to not
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: let things bother me. She said, I've been working here
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: American Airlines thirty years. She said, I've worked there thirty years.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to retire. I don't know who I am.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: I'll live for my children. I've gone through a divorce
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: and she says, I don't know how to let things go.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: And she says, whatever you do like, she says, your
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: presence is so common. And I said, man, I wish
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I had the time to ten. Wow, because to find
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: this piece, you probably still have to live in a
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: lot of noise. Because piece is not the absence of it.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: In fact, I feel like peace more chaos than chaos itself.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Wow. And that day.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: I left because I watched that woman got free. I
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: just talked to her for ten minutes. She said, I
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: don't want you to miss your plans. I said, no,
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit there and talk to you. I stood
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: there and talked to her. And so I leave her
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: and talk to her. And I'm sitting on the plane
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: and I'm just like, God, what about me?
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: M hm?
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Why can't I have Why can't I get a me?
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Why can't I find a me where I feel like, man,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: your presence is coming for me.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: Your presence is soothing. Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: And so and in that moment, you know, I'm having
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: this emotional moment. And then I just kind of step
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: out of it. And I realized that if I got married,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: if I had children, all of those gods, I never
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: promise any of those things. And in that moment, I said, God,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: you don't owe me this. I owe you.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And that just freed me.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that the desire leaves where, you know,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: because it's like I often think, like, man, look at
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: what I built and still building. I was like, man,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: this would be fun to buildings with somebody.
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, and.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: So, so now I can answer that question that I'm whole.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: I don't lack anything. I used to think that I
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: don't lack nothing.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: That's good, you know what I mean. And so, but
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: you know, it kind of shared that to contextualize is
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: that we often there's other people who are going through
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: so much, so much more, and and I'm set up
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: here whining because you because really I won't to have
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: free sets, but you.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: And you, yeah, I get it.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: Listen, Listen, get that, listen.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Get that. You know, sometimes you gotta listen.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: I'm full grown. Listen.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: I'm full grown. I'm always listen. I'm almost for the four.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: So it's like, I want to be honest with myself.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: But beyond that, but you know.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: It depends on yeah, yeah, you.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying. So but beyond that, though.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: Uh, I feel blessed to have overcome everything I've overcome,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: and to be a northern star, to be a guide
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: in light, you know, to be a lighthouse for others.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: So you know, it's a blessing. And and I feel
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: like I have more peace about this state, and there's
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: no anxiousness.
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I used to be anxious because you know, I have
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: other brothers and sisters. All of my siblings are married
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: with kids, yeah, or you know, they have to, like
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: so I'm always showing up. It's like, hey, you're not
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: part of the club. But then my nephew helped me.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: The other day, he says, Uncle Jay J. He said,
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I think you have the better life out of everybody.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: Because he was like my nephew, he's nine. He said
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: this to the other day, he says, man, because they
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: was hanging out with me. He was like, you get
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: to do all of these things and it's just you
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: and you don't have to pay for other people to
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: do these things. And I was like, my keys, like
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: he's uncle JJ, you have the better life.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: I love that, and we do. You can't have me
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: kid or nothing like that. You get into the maneuver
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: and you want to move. I love that, and you
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: know too. What I want to tell you is that
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: like because you had you have like a beautiful team,
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Like you know, I love Chris Do. I think she's
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: so dope, and so I'm happy that ever connect The
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: next CJ is so so nice and so glass when
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: he was you KNOWJ looked like he listens CJ is
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: behind the camera for rea'son, gonna make you look good?
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: BAJ now, oh I do, but don't let them fool you.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: BECAUSEJ could throw that that. Yeah, thank you, so I
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: I and I love that for you. I think that's awesome.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: But I was gonna say too, like when people are
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: like pouring into you and telling you like, yes, you're dope,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: You're great, and you see yourself in that space too,
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I know you do, you know, but see it because
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: you're so where God is gonna take you, It's gonna
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: be amazing, but you have to see it for you too,
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Like you need to know that I am doctor J
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: Barnett and I am who God's called me to be,
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: and everything else is just noise. Everything else like there's
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: no more residue, there's no more things that I have
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: to deal with, not even from this, not like you
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: are going to excel in everything that you do, but
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: the decisions that you're gonna make is gonna one have
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: to be that you want it, not for nobody else,
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: and it pleases God to in the midst of it.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Nothing else outside of it because he gonna take you big,
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: You're gonna take you higher, and the things that you
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: so desire from a child, it's gonna be that. Right now,
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying I have to I have to release that.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: I wanna call you this episode like.
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: What you desire? You know what I'm saying, what you desire,
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: It's gonna come. But it's gonna take a little bit
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: more of you in him. And it's just a decipher
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: what that looks like, you know, because everybody else gonna
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: make the decision, they gonna say whatever, But it's like you.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: She's like, okay, you, what is you? What do you want?
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: And you want your You see yourself around those tables,
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: around those conversations and around those moments. You know that's
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: gonna make you that billionaire. And not just because it
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: sounds good. No, it's gonna be things that the schooling,
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: whatever you want to open for these men, you know,
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: these mental like whatever it is. I mean, of course
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: I know you're gonna you know, close something, but whatever
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: it is, he's gonna do it.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: You're doing.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying, I just have to say that because
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: you always be pouring to me, you know, and you always,
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: you know. And I told God allow people around me
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: to be able to see me, because some people just
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: see funny. You're you know what I'm saying. People just
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: see funny and pretty and all that stuff. But like,
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: do you actually see a friend like I see? And
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: I understand your your eyes say it so I.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: See, I said, appreciate it. So we see each other.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: We see each other.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: I love you.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: I'm gred for you to I love you too. And
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: love is a strong word.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, if I tell you I love you like Nigga,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I'll move mountains for.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: You for sure.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Like what type of mountains Snow mountains? Mm hmm, like
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Colorado mountains mm hmm.
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: Let's go deeper with that. What type of mountains.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: There's only one type of mountains you got, rocky mountains?
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, I need the one that's heavy. See if you
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: can move that as.
• 53:55
  Speaker 4: Heavy, move it at the way and you know we
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: won't put it.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Like the mount that you want me throwing into the
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: sea something, cast it out into the wilderness. Divide to
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: see divide, Oh you want me be Moses, Yeah, would
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: be Joshua, Like Joshua got to walk to the Jordan River.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: He didn't need a staff stick.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: So all of that and more, I just wanted to like,
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, it wasn't about you, but I just wanted
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: to throw that at you.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: You know what.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: I gotta work on that because you see how I
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: made it about you. But I do that too, Dang,
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with us?
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: I just don't know. I think we got to pray.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: It's just like, you know, we just do it. Someone
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: compliments me and then I put it back on them
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: to be like, oh yeah, I know.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: It's crazy because you'd be like, hey, you look good.
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh you look. Hold I can't see.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: You can't just say thank you. I can and just
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: move on. I can say thank you, and then then
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: I always have to say something else about that.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: See That's what I'm saying.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: So it's like who gets the last life?
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: I mean we both do, like, oh yeah, we both
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: are good? Yeah mm hmm yeah. So yeah, God is great.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: I know all the time. He's so faithful.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh so what is heal?
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: Amazing?
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: He already asked me that she did. What does healing
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: mean to me? Let go? Freedom? You know, freedom freedom
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: because you can never you don't need to go back
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: to what God has brought you from. So it's it's
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: about freedom. Freedom. And again I'm the type of person
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: I would thug it out with somebody for four five years.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about as far as relationship goes now and
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: when you when you know that ain't where you need
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: to go. Oh, God will cause some disruption when he
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: wants you to, when he wants your attention. When he
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: wants your attention, God will cause a disruption.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I think the best thing that helps me is I
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: had to learn how to build. I had to learn
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: how to build tents in places where I thought I
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: should have built a housef so like the children Israel, right, Yeah,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: it was like I think learning that it allows you
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: to say, you know what, this is seasonal, Wow, this
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: is not permanent. And I think it's critical for us
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: to understand that. We have to be able to appropriate
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: and differentiate between what is a lifelong thing, what is
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: a season thing?
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, you know yeah, because we'll you know,
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: we'll thug it out for seasons of a season.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: You hit twenty six and I'm a tourist man, and
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: I can say this man, I've been too long. What
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: you say, I've been too loyal. You know my birthday
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: next monthing.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying, you're saying, my exualatorist. I just
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: want to see what you know my friend is. Yeah,
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: when he's a character. And I don't put no sign
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: on people because I don't do signs that don't even
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: mean than me.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Goot.
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: Friends, though I've been loyal, they're very loyal people to
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: designs to a fault, the sign, the sign stuff Jesus
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: Christs are signed.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, wonderful counselor yes. So I'm glad you came today.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy I came. I'm so happy that we
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: were able to take this off of an email in
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: a text and put it into it.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: We did it, Yeah, we did it.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: I think people are gonna be blessed by this.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: Do you think they're gonna be blessed?
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: My bishop is shaking his air, so I think people
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: are gonna.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Be Bishop back.
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: Then, Hey, bishop, how are you doing?
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: When the bishop you with, I'm well, that means they
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: are well, bishop, and I'm well. He means that I'm.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: Well, So thank you so much. Irritation. Yes, listen, people,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: go out and get her devotion and it is really great.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: She harassed me daily with a chapter from it.
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: But it's good. It really is good. It is healing
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: the I.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: Just want to say thank you for your gift that
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: you are to the world, and not just as comedic
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: relief to people, but just the life and the light
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: that you have.
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: And I'm proud of you.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: I love the woman that you're becoming, and I think
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: it's so beautiful because we get to see it in
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: real time. And then I love that you get to
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: explore all of the different characters that you choose to
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: sort of entertain and kind of put life into them,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: and it's beautiful. Don't stop glowing, don't stop being you,
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: don't stop laughing, which I know you're gonna do a
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: lot of that, because the world is in need of
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: women that are taking up space in all the right
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: places like you are with your beauty and with your light,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: and more importantly, with your intellect. Because folks, she's a
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: smart woman. Let me tell you, she intelligence. She know
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: she's jumping on them to tell you, was it making laugh?
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: But this is the genius. At the same time, I'll
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: get it twisted. You know what, I'm saying we are
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: more than more.
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: Than so good.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I received every where. Yeah, I ain't gonna
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: do you like you did me. She don't got out
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: here and win it prophetic on me.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: Bro. I'm just saying, you know, you gotta just you
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: got to release the word now. You gotta because sometimes
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: if you don't like it be a thing that she's like,
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: oh I should have said that, and that person needs that,
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: so you could because I mean you probably heard that.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: But I'm just saying, like they probably need it from
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: a certain person. And then of course, you know, start
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: itching your body like ooh, I didn't say that, But
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: I appreciate this was really really good, very warming in
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: here your shows up.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, listen you have you know I
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: helped the laughter, the seriousness and and all of the
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: in depth and just the you know, I mean, it's
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: this this this conversation was very layered, and I love
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: that it had many different legs on and we've had
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: many different discussions that all leads back to healing. Yes,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: all leads back to becoming, All leads back to being
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: restored in the way that God sees you. I don't
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: know where you are in your healing journey, but I
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: want to encourage you to stay on it.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: And V said something.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: Earlier right about you know about her journey and where
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: she where she was and how she started, and she
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: talked about the two people, her mother and the janitor
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: that spoke into her life. Yes, and I want to
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: say to you you may or may not have someone
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: that is speaking into your life. But even if that's
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: not the case, I want to encourage you to speak
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: into your life. Begin to reshape your brain by changing
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: the language and the words that are coming out of
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: your mouth, because, believe it or not, it is the
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: inner dialogue. It is not what they.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: Say to you. It is what you say to yourself
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: that it's going to make the impact on you.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Until next time, Remember healing is a journey and wholeness
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: is the destination.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: Keep doing the work.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Just here with Doctor J, a production of the Black
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: Wherever you listen to your favorite shows. And you can
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: follow me at King J.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Barnett on Instagram and x and follow us on YouTube.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: Just here, Doctor J.