Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep260. Permission to Receive: The One Decision That Changes Everything About Your Life.

Transcript

Ep260. Permission to Receive: The One Decision That Changes Everything About Your Life. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: You ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: You ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you running your life or is your life running your?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like go and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: You'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'll help you create real wealth with self and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: To do what you want to do, to want what you want, to ask for what you want, to receive what you want, or even to feel what you'd rather feel.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to start there, but I'm going to go into an understanding of that word permission.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to towards the end of this episode, I'm going to bring that all together.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I got some stories to tell you.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, it starts with me.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the store first story is about me and about my journey to feeling like an imposter and having everything collapse because of that.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Back in 2014, I or 2013, I started a job.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: My family and I moved from Portland, Oregon to right outside of St.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, uh, Missouri.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I was working in an energy company, an energy factory uh across the river in Granite City, Illinois.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now I was the operations manager.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that plant was mine.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was a three about a$350 million enterprise.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: That plant was mine.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was the leader of the plant.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a GM, but the GM was the kind of like the go-between between me and corporate.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And when I took that job, I was coming off of the highlight of my career.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I ran a about a 65 manty-five million dollar manufacturing company out in Portland, Oregon.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: It was a Stanley Blackendecker company.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And basically, over the course of about three years, we dismantled it.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was a failing business and we dismantled it and rebuilt it back up.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was failing in that it wasn't as profitable as it needed to be, and cash flows were heading down.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So in a I I remade my leadership team, my functional leadership team.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: About fired, uh let three, three of my functional leaders go, hired two back, and I built an amazing team.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the course, over the course of three years, we rebuilt that plant back into one of the highest cash generating uh per per capita for the size of the business in the entire Stanley Black Decker fleet.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we we we got a lot of attention.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was awesome, awesome work.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And when I had that level of success, I felt like an absolute imposter.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like a fraud.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the reasons that after that level of success, when I could have stayed within Stanley Black Decker and just took another position, that I exited and we moved from St.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Louis or from Portland, Oregon to St.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, Missouri.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I took the the company or the job with the energy company across across the river.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a step up in pay, it was a step up in benefits, but it was so far out of my technical competence.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was so far out of my zone of genius.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: There was no way I was ever going to be successful in that job.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I took it mainly, most of the intention was to get out of Stanley Black and Decker so that because I was afraid that they were going to find out that I wasn't that good because I was dealing with this imposter syndrome stuff.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I lasted in that company and in that energy company about 20 months before I was uh unceremoniously exited.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got another position, being the GM of a gun manufacturer facility, uh component uh manufacturing facility down in uh St.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Louis City.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And after about 15 months, I was let go from there because I was still dealing with so much internal disturbance.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: And everything because of the imposter syndrome, because of my feeling not valuable, my my feeling not worthy, my feeling not uh talented.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I didn't feel any of that stuff.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't allow myself to feel it.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt like a fraud and it all fell apart multiple times.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, when I got exited that second time, that's when I rebuilt everything.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when, that's when I started this journey of self-mastery and of reinvention and of really putting the wheels back on the machine.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the rebirth of my life.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we're here today.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a multi-time author.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a podcast that's been listened to in 121 countries around the world and 1900 cities around the world on six continents, or yeah, six continents.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I've I'm I'm a paid speaker, uh, I'm a coach, I've got, I've got mastermind students, I've got one-on-one uh students, and and I've impacted and touched a lot of lives.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was the rebuilding and the rebirth.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna go more into that rebuilding and that rebirth and kind of what started the engine there.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but we're gonna revisit that word permission.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with a gal named uh Melanie, and Melanie didn't, she was a wholesaler.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Melanie didn't love wholesaling.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: She and what I mean wholesaling real estate, she didn't love it.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I asked her, what do you love?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: What do you love doing?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I love travel.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I said, well, tell me about your travel adventures.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Well, we wholesale and we wholesaling helps us fund our travel.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, have you ever considered allowing travel to fund your travel?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Well, every once in a while I'll take some people on an adventure and on somewhere around the world.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And they just help offset my expenses.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So they're kind of funding the travel, but they still needed the wholesaling in order to really create the financial, the financial flow and the income that they wanted in order to continue to travel and in order to continue to live life.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, I just asked them questions.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, hey, what why don't why don't you like just focus on building the business of travel and invite people around the world, right, to your around the world adventures, and just go all in, fill up your your adventures, charge more than than your cost, charge enough to, you know, to make money to not just fund your travel, but to live an exceptional life.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And today she she actually does that.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And her and her her her fiance, they they travel around the world and it looks like six, seven, eight adventures a year, and they take 10 to 12 people, 10, 12, 15, whatever it is, and they all pay Melanie, and Melanie is living the life of her dreams and like is is living from this awesome place and living out her passion.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Melanie didn't need it, but I just she didn't need my permission, but I just I kind of gave Melanie permission to step into her dream.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't need my permission, she didn't need anyone else's permission except for mine, but uh I or except for hers, but I gave her mine.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, she started building her business for whatever reason, it's that permission.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I can look back and say it was that permission that really was the spark and the catalyst for Melanie stepping into that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I I currently work with a guy named Corey, and I back in you know, early 2017, 2018, I was working with Corey back then, and he was a uh an acquisitions guy in uh a real estate investment company.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So he would go out and he would purchase properties and bring them back to the company, and they would either flip them or hold them or they would do something, wholesale them.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: But Corey didn't love being being an acquisitions guy.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, What do you love?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Photography.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Have you ever considered building a photography business?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Do you really think I could be successful at it?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yeah, absolutely 100% positive you could be successful and become very, very well known in photography because you're charismatic and you're you're awesome and working with people is your zona genius.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I even documented all of that in my first book, The Imposter in Charge.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, sitting at the table with Corey, I gave Corey permission.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: I gave Corey permission to step into his dream.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Corey did not need my permission, but he wouldn't give him himself permission.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I gave him permission without giving him permission, and he built his dream.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And now he's one of the best known photographers, and he is the best known photographer in St.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Louis.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And he's also traveled some of the world doing videography and photography around the world.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he has become absolutely successful in the photography industry.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Corey never needed my permission, but since he wouldn't give him his own permission, I lent him mine and he took it and he ran with it.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: There's a guy named Matt, and Matt had another business.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was a recruiting business.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And he would, he was a corporate recruiter.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: He would work with companies to help them place professionals in positions that they needed talent.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And Matt didn't love that business.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, he was really, really struggling in that business.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: But Matt hired me to help him like push them to be successful in that business.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I kept asking Matt, what do you love?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I love my Airbnb.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, you know, every time we had a discussion, he would talk about how much of a failure he was in his recruiting business and how, you know, how ashamed he was of the results he was getting and all these things.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: But but then when he would talk about his Airbnb, he loved it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Matt, why don't you go in?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like you really love uh real estate investing, so why don't you go all in?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I made a connection, I made an introduction, I encouraged Matt to sit down with another real estate investor.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: He became an acquisitions guy, the same position Corey didn't love.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And Matt became super successful.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then he became the director of sales, and then he went out on his own.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And today, Matt is a very successful real estate investor.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: He's very much admired, he's very much inspired a lot of other people, and there's a lot of people with watching him, and he's very visible in the local St.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Louis area and in other places because you know, world word travels fast, and people are watching social media, and and Matt's kind of a big deal.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I worked with Matt, I he didn't need my permission, but I gave him permission.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I gave him permission that he wouldn't give himself.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and that helped him step into something that he loved.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it also gave him permission to leave behind something that he didn't love.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Any stories, I've got stories, tons of stories where this was the case, where it was like over the last day I've realized that the one common thread between all of these was something simple.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do any of the work of building Melanie's business.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: She did it all.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do any of the work in building Corey's business.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: He did it all.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't do any of the work in building Matt's business, his uh real estate investment business.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: He did it all.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: The thing I did was provide the permission that he needed, that he wouldn't give himself.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: So he used mine.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: But he was waiting for permission from somewhere, someone, for whatever reason, he was withholding it from himself.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: My wife, my wife Angie, is just stepping into the real estate uh space.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And over the last three months, she's closed$900,000 in traditional real estate sales.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's after a long time of bouncing from thing to thing, an education thing to education thing, trying to figure out who she wants to be when she grows up.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And in real estate, in the in the traditional real estate space, uh it was almost like I just gave her permission to be successful.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she didn't need my permission.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: She just wouldn't give her her own permission.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I just kept pouring into her.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in her.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be successful.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Go all in, you'll love it.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: They'll love you.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're made for this.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was almost like I granted her permission when she didn't need my permission.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this is making sense.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: She just wouldn't give herself the permission that she needed to be successful.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And now she's closed two deals, close to$900,000 in sales or over$900,000 in sales in just three months.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I worked, this goes beyond just, you know, the success and the money and achievement and accomplishment.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was working with a uh real estate at the point, at that time, a real estate investor.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: She she held she held a really nice portfolio of rentals, and she was also a lender and she a private money lender.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's very well known, very accomplished, very, you know, she had accomplished a lot.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: She was very well received in the and and had a lot of visibility in the uh real estate investment industry.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she had a lot of money, and she was worth a good bit of money, a good night net worth, but she wouldn't allow herself to feel financially secure.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: She wouldn't allow herself to feel like she would never have a money problem.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I just simply gave her permission to feel wealthy.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: I gave her permission to feel secure.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't need my permission, but she wouldn't give her, she wouldn't give herself permission, so so she kind of borrowed mine.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: She needed permission, but she only needed herself her own permission, but but she wouldn't give herself that permission, so she used mine.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this is making sense.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: See, what what I'm realizing, and over the last four, five, six episodes, we've talked about receiving a lot.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Receiving starts with one single decision, and that's to give yourself permission to want what you want, to ask for what you want, to receive what you want, to feel what you want, to be who you want, to do what you want.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: It starts with a decision, and that decision comes from permission to step into something different that that's unfamiliar, that's unknown, that is more aligned with who you are, that's more aligned with what you do, what you want to do, that's more aligned with the quality of life that you want to experience.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when I look at all of those experiences tied together, sometimes I struggle to realize how how much influence I had over the success and over the achievements and accomplishments that those folks had.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't do any of the work.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: But what I did was probably the most important and the most valuable thing in all of the world and all of this creation when we're trying to create a higher level and higher quality of life.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: The most important thing we can do is give ourselves permission to step into something new.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if we withhold that permission, we're gonna wait for it when we don't really need to wait.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And in that in that situation, when they wouldn't give it to themselves, I would just give it to them.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm really today realizing how impactful that that decision is to give yourself permission or to receive, to finally receive permission when you really don't need it from anybody else, but to finally receive permission to take that step, to be that person, to do that thing, to want that thing, to ask for that thing.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was I was just upstairs on my patio.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what I do, kind of one of the strategies I use is when I have a workshop, and I have a workshop coming up on August 28th and 29th.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Built to Give, Rebuilt to Receive.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about it's about this.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's about giving yourself permission to receive.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is a first step.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's about it's about stepping into the life that you're looking that you've always wanted, and stop being on the overgiving side of life and start being on the receptive side of life and allowing yourself to experience all the goodness that you've always given away, that you've always ensured everybody else has had.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's stepping into it and receiving it for yourself.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and what what I what I've been doing is I go on social media and I'll make some posts about like giving and receiving, or where you're leaking your power, or where you're not giving yourself permission, or any of these, any of these things that tie together.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And people interact with my post.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes they comment.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what I look at that as is that is an expression of their support for the message or their acknowledgement that there's something that they learned, or it almost sometimes feels like an invitation into the work that I do to help them step into whatever it is, whatever problem it points to, and whatever solution set it it partners partners them with.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I feel this sales guilt, sales shame, sales resistance, let's say.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's not even guilt, it's shame, it's just sales resistance.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the the remedy for that is I give myself permission to be on the receiving end of life.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: And part of being on the receiving end of life is not only wanting what you want, but asking for what you want.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, what I want and what I ask for is for them to enroll and register in my workshop.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: But whenever there's that resistance, whenever there's that little hint of sales resistance, of invitation resistance, I check in, I check in with myself and say, I give myself permission.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need permission from anyone else in order to invite some somebody else into the work that I'm doing.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'll go back to you not need permission to be who you want to be, to do what you want to do, to want what you want, to ask for what you want, to receive what you want, or even to feel what you want to feel.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need anyone's permission except your own.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a choice, and that is a decision.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and that choice and that decision and the permission only comes when you allow yourself to receive and being on the receiving end of life.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this over the last four or five, six weeks, as we've talked about receiving, I hope it's starting to connect because in conversations that I'm having, both in my mastermind, in the community, in my one-on-one coaching, people are starting to reflect back to me about what they're allowing themselves to receive that they've never allowed themselves to receive.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: One of my mastermind students has always withheld permission from herself.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's a trained yoga instructor.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And over the last two weeks, she's done her first two yoga classes because she's allowing herself to receive.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she does say it's scary and it's unfamiliar.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels, it feels awkward because the nervous system has one job and one job only.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, to keep you alive, it keeps you alive by trying to keep you in familiar circumstances.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it tries to keep you in familiar circumstances because it knows how to keep you alive there.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's proven to have been uh effective in keeping you alive there.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't care if you're wealthy, successful, happy, fulfilled, loved.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter if you're any of those things.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's just trying to keep you in familiar circumstances.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she's breaking through them by going into and through the discomfort because she's giving herself permission to finally be on the receiving end of life.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need anyone else's permission.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: But if you do, consider this your permission to be who you want, do what you want, want what you want, ask for what you want, receive what you want.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, the most important, feel what you want.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you can choose to feel anything that you want, why would you settle for something less than feeling fulfilled, complete, whole, secure, adequate, significant, valuable, worthy, deserving, impactful, loved.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you why would you settle for feeling anything less than any of those?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: All it takes is yourself giving yourself permission and opening yourself up to receive.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you can have anything you want.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to www.innerwealthglobal.com for more tools and resources.