Latest / The On Purpose Podcast / Ep. 352 - Be Careful What You Say to Yourself
Transcript
- The On Purpose Podcast: You are listening to the On Purpose Podcast. What's up everybody? Welcome to this week's edition of the On Purpose Podcast, where you know it's our privilege and our pleasure to be here with you each and every week to get you moving, get you thinking, get you questioning, maybe even just reminding you of something that we've talked about or something you said to yourself. serves or doesn't serve you anymore. And that's kind of the theme of this week's show is as we build upon our dream chasers series and you know, this month, month of June, we're going to feature some people that are going to be competing in the copper Kings 100 with Trey and I, not just because they're running, to understand the story of what makes them want to push themselves like that, to put themselves on the line to challenge. themselves in a way that doesn't maybe make sense to a lot of people and I'm excited for those stories. But one of the things that I keep coming back to is the theme for this week's show and that is being careful of what you say to yourself. Right? There's a certain kind of fire that comes from being underestimated, from hearing someone say you can't, but deciding you will. And honestly, for me, for a long time, that was my fuel. I didn't need encouragement. I didn't need belief. I was strengthened by doubters and critics and people who told me I couldn't do things. And then I knew I would just keep working harder and longer to prove them wrong. But here's something that I didn't understand then, and I've learned to grow, is that when your fire comes from other people's doubt, You're letting them hold the match to when it ignites, when it's gonna be there. And what I found in my life is eventually that burns out. When you're fueling yourself off to negativity and the critics, it's to me, it's like a short lived burn. It's intense, but when it's gone, what skills am I left with? I wanted to share that thought and that those ideas with you this month as we're halfway through the year, you know, long enough into the year to see what's working, where we got to make adjustments and we still have enough time to correct course and get ourselves to where we want it to be. So what I want to talk to you about is how we're letting other people's words or the words that we tell ourselves shape our self talk, our self image, our belief. And to share that I'll go backwards. And that was when I was younger. I used to love when someone told me I couldn't do something. It lit me up, it sharpened me, it made me excited to go do it, right? It didn't matter if they told me I was too small, I'm not ready, you can't do this, you're not meant to do that. I didn't let that create doubt. I didn't let that deter me. I didn't fold, I thrived on it. My motivation was simply to prove them wrong, just to prove to them that their words meant nothing. And as I aged and I got older, I started to realize that's a terrible long-term strategy, right? Because eventually the people that are giving you the fuel that you're relying on, they move on to other things. Maybe they quit even paying attention to you. So when that's no longer there, when that source of your fire is gone, what do you have? What are you left with? And I started thinking to myself, What am I teaching those around me? If I'm pushing myself and I'm taking on goals and challenges simply because other people say I couldn't do it, what am I teaching my kids? What am I teaching the people that follow me that were motivated and pushed when people don't believe in us? But what do we do when they're not there? How do we believe in ourselves? See, if you're only believing in yourself when somebody else doesn't, you're not really believing in yourself. You're reacting to a stimulus. You're defending. from their words, you're performing. but you're not becoming. So this was probably in my late 30s maybe, that I really had to re-shift how did I find motivation, how did I find drive to do the things I needed to do to get to where I want to be, but I was no longer dependent on proving anybody else wrong. One of the biggest things I realized when I stayed in that space of proving other people wrong, I held on to who I used to be. Why their words would carry so much weight with me had nothing to do with who I was now. It was all because they had weight with me then. And to really grow myself, I had to shift the focus away. and realize I needed to learn a new skill that was uncomfortable, that maybe I hadn't been taught in school or growing up. that was to believe in myself, not because of anybody else, but because I said I could do it. Not because somebody said I couldn't, not because I needed to prove anything, not because I needed to silence somebody, but because deep down inside, I knew I was capable more, that I could grow, evolve, and rise to the occasion because I chose to. And let me tell you, when you get to that point, now you start realizing, okay, this belief is far different from what I used to have. It's quieter, I don't have to tell people about it. It's steadier. It's not so intense, it comes and goes. It's sustainable. And it's built off my truth. Right, my truth is that I believe in myself and now the people that are actually watching me, the ones I want to attract to my circle, we're not filling each other with words of doubt or criticism. We're not sharing the stories of who doesn't believe in us. We're attracted to this because we're all choosing to believe in ourselves. And maybe when I am doubtful, I can look at you and go, wait, look what they're doing. That's right, I got these skills. Because it comes full circle. Once the external noise fades, the only voice I have left is my own. and then it becomes the most powerful voice in my life. Because if what we tell ourself is not just storytelling, it's a blueprint to what we're building. If I tell myself I'm not enough, it's easy to shirk your responsibilities. If I tell myself it's too late, I'm too old, you start to move like you're old. If you tell yourself you're not built for big things. I don't try big challenges. But if you tell yourself the truth, the real truth... things can change. Simply like, can do this. I am capable. I'm built for the long game, which means I don't have to have instantaneous success today. I just have to put in the work today, just getting me to my goal down the road. I believe in me because I've earned the right to believe in me. And how do I earn that right? By showing up each day, by doing the little things that I told myself I'm gonna be. And it seems silly, right? But I always go back, this is one of my favorite examples. If you set your alarm for seven, because you're supposed to be up at seven, and then you hit the snooze three times and wake up at 720, well, you've already started your day breaking promises to yourself, right? You were supposed to get up at seven for a reason. So just a little thing like that sets the tone for the day. If I, goes off at seven, I get myself out of bed, so I just held my word. I just did what I told myself I was gonna do. Now my day starts with that win. Right, because what I, my words and my actions do anchor me to the course of where I'm trying to go. They lead me to the place I want to be. And the more I study self-talk and the more I read about believing in yourself, it goes both ways, right? Because what we are telling ourselves becomes our reality. If all my self-talk is negative of what I can't do and why I cannot do it, then chances are nothing's going to get done. If it verses it's what I can do, what I'm capable of, Even then if I stumble, I struggle, I fall, I fail, at least I'm making progress working towards who I want to become and where I want to be. So the challenge I wanna share with you in June is simple but powerful. I want you to just identify one sentence you're carrying that isn't yours. A sentence maybe someone told you, a doubt somebody else planted in your head, a story you've been carrying for years reliving that may not even be true anymore. and replace it with one that comes from you. Not from anger, not from bitterness, not from revenge, proving somebody wrong, but from a truth. Because the life you wanna live, the dreams you wanna chase, the identity you're trying to build, doesn't need all the external stuff. It needs you to believe in it. It needs your internal belief, your positive self-talk. So remember, be careful what you're saying to yourself because it might just start becoming your reality. So think about this month of June, join us on our Copper Kings journey. We're excited to have you here. It's only four short weeks from now, Trey and I will be out running around the woods for a hundred miles to see what we can do, right? And we don't, we're not guaranteed the outcome, but we're guaranteed to show up. We're gonna show up and we're gonna put in effort. And that's all we gotta do, right? The truths, the lessons we're gonna learn, all gonna come out down the road. We can't get bogged down on what might be. dealing with what's right in front of us and that is just the immediacy. So think about what you're saying yourself, follow through on the challenges, shift some of our self-talk. Let's get the month of June off to a right, proper start. Have a great week everybody. When you're training with purpose, your fueling can't be an afterthought. That's why I use NeverSecond, the simplest, most reliable system I have found for staying energized, hydrated and steady through their long efforts. Their C-series carbs take the guesswork out of performance. No stomach drama, no complicated mixing, just clean, consistent fuel that actually works when the miles get long. If you want to train with more intention and recover without feeling wrecked, check out Never Second. Click the link in the show notes to get dialed in. Hey everybody, it's Jared Hardy here. If the on purpose podcast has sparked something in you, maybe a shift, a question, or a deeper dive, my excellence and leadership course is built to help you act upon it. This isn't just about leading others. It's about leading yourself with intention, resilience, and clarity. Whether you're an individual chasing growth or a team ready to level up, I offer custom coaching and speaking engagements to meet you where you are. Visit teamhardy.net and let's grow with purpose. And remember team, life is far too short to live any other way than on purpose. We'll see you all again next week.