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#HURDLEMOMENT: How To Make Friends As An Adult · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: You have to be with people who are excited to
0:01
Speaker 1: see you, who see your light, appreciate your light, that
0:05
Speaker 1: love what you bring to the table. And what's the
0:07
Speaker 1: point of having a lukewarm relationship where it's not really
0:11
Speaker 1: exciting at all, you know, and there's not really any
0:15
Speaker 1: spark there. It's kind of like, what are you doing?
0:17
Speaker 1: Are you just doing it to like occupy your time?
0:19
Speaker 1: And there's so many other things that you could possibly
0:21
Speaker 1: be doing. If a relationship is lukewarm, maybe best to
0:25
Speaker 1: step back.
0:40
Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily a body here bringing you another installment
0:45
Speaker 2: of Hurdle Moment from her at All. Now, if you're
0:47
Speaker 2: new to the show, welcome, I'm happy to have you.
0:50
Speaker 2: Let me give you the stick about what Hurdle Moment
0:53
Speaker 2: Wednesdays are all about. On the Hurdle Moment episodes, I
0:58
Speaker 2: am tackling the topics that are on your mind, often
1:02
Speaker 2: related to popular messages I'm getting in my inbox or
1:04
Speaker 2: my dms, or topics of conversation in the Super Secret
1:08
Speaker 2: Hurdler's Facebook group. Now, if you're not in, that link
1:11
Speaker 2: to join in is in the show notes. So related
1:14
Speaker 2: to those I connect with top experts to give you
1:18
Speaker 2: the information The tips, the tricks that you need to
1:21
Speaker 2: live healthier, happier, more motivated lives. So today's topic, I
1:26
Speaker 2: am diving into friendship, specifically how to make friends as
1:32
Speaker 2: an adult, and it is certainly something that I've navigated
1:34
Speaker 2: both between getting older and having friends leaving the city.
1:38
Speaker 2: And so to wrap about this, I'm bringing in one
1:40
Speaker 2: of my good friends. Her name is Christina Rudolfo. She
1:43
Speaker 2: is the beauty director at Woman's Health magazine and, as
1:48
Speaker 2: she says in her Instagram bio, which we laugh about today,
1:51
Speaker 2: your new beauty bff. We talk about it all in
1:54
Speaker 2: today's episode, from strategies to making friends, where to find
1:59
Speaker 2: said friends, what to do if you want to befriend
2:02
Speaker 2: someone that you only know via social media, how to
2:05
Speaker 2: deal with someone that may not want to be your friend,
2:08
Speaker 2: what you do if you go on a friend day
2:10
Speaker 2: and you're just not jiving, the right way to walk
2:12
Speaker 2: away from that potential non friendship, and how to protect
2:16
Speaker 2: your boundaries, How to be smart in your friendship so
2:20
Speaker 2: that you're really getting both the most out of the
2:22
Speaker 2: relationship and looking out for your best interest. Lots of
2:27
Speaker 2: good stuff in here. Super grateful to Christina for her time.
2:30
Speaker 2: If you don't follow her on Instagram, do it. The
2:33
Speaker 2: link to do that is in the show notes. I
2:35
Speaker 2: am just blown away by her wealth of knowledge on
2:38
Speaker 2: all things beauty and if you need a solid foundation
2:41
Speaker 2: or mascara recommendation, Christina is your girl. Make sure you're
2:46
Speaker 2: following along on Hurdle over at Hurdle Podcast. You can
2:49
Speaker 2: find me over at Emily A Body and I've got
2:51
Speaker 2: a really fun hurdle session in the works for next week.
2:55
Speaker 2: It is with Lindsay Clayton and Amber Reese a Brave
2:58
Speaker 2: Body project. We are going to be so you want
3:01
Speaker 2: to run a marathon, demystifying the marathon, whether you want
3:05
Speaker 2: to run a half or a full, giving you all
3:07
Speaker 2: the tips, tricks and tools you need to cross the
3:11
Speaker 2: finish line and cross off that big bucket list item
3:13
Speaker 2: from your to do list. I think that's it. With that,
3:17
Speaker 2: let's get to hurdling.
3:28
Speaker 3: Today.
3:28
Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with Christina Rudolfo. She is the beauty
3:31
Speaker 2: director at A Woman's Health magazine. She's also as Cheaper
3:34
Speaker 2: claims in her Instagram bio your beauty BFF. Hi, Hi.
3:40
Speaker 2: If you're going to be my beauty BFF, then you
3:42
Speaker 2: can be my actual bff.
3:44
Speaker 3: I'm everyone's just actual bff.
3:47
Speaker 2: I love that for you, I love that for us.
3:49
Speaker 2: You and I have become close over the last year
3:51
Speaker 2: in this pandemic life. You and I were chatting the
3:54
Speaker 2: other day and I was talking to you about a
3:57
Speaker 2: concern that arised in the c at Hurdler's Facebook group,
4:01
Speaker 2: which was that everyone is chatting about how to make
4:04
Speaker 2: friends when you get older.
4:06
Speaker 3: It's so tough.
4:07
Speaker 2: It's so tough.
4:08
Speaker 1: It's something that people don't warn you about.
4:10
Speaker 3: That along with you know.
4:12
Speaker 1: Saving, saving for your four oh one k and you
4:15
Speaker 1: know all this, all the all the real life things
4:18
Speaker 1: that no one really tells you when you're a kid.
4:20
Speaker 2: No one really tells you. And friends come and go
4:22
Speaker 2: as you become an adult. Because when you're younger and
4:25
Speaker 2: you're mostly staying in the same place. You're going to
4:28
Speaker 2: elementary school, middle school, high school. Okay, cool, you've got
4:30
Speaker 2: like a solid chunk of time there. Then you go
4:33
Speaker 2: to college and you meet all of these people and hey,
4:35
Speaker 2: you're going to be there for four years. Cool, great
4:37
Speaker 2: solid chunk of time there. Then you go through a
4:39
Speaker 2: little transition when you move to wherever you're going to move.
4:42
Speaker 2: But after that like all bets are off, like everyone
4:45
Speaker 2: can go anywhere.
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Speaker 1: It's so unpredictable too, especially this past year, you know,
4:51
Speaker 1: we've been seeing so many people leaving the city and
4:54
Speaker 1: moving across the country and quitting their jobs or just
4:57
Speaker 1: having such huge life changes that just sets everybody on
5:01
Speaker 1: different paths. And it also happens with life milestones too,
5:04
Speaker 1: you know, people getting married, people having kids. That just
5:07
Speaker 1: changes the dynamic of friendships as well. So as you
5:10
Speaker 1: get older and you're trying to you know, find your
5:12
Speaker 1: core group of people or just your person, you know,
5:15
Speaker 1: it's it gets really hard and lonely. And I think
5:19
Speaker 1: that something people don't really think about is how to
5:23
Speaker 1: maintain friendships as an adult, just because it all becomes
5:27
Speaker 1: all about convenience and proximity.
5:30
Speaker 2: It is very difficult, and I think what you just
5:32
Speaker 2: said is really important that it can become about proximity
5:35
Speaker 2: or convenience. Like when you get older and you have
5:39
Speaker 2: good friends and you happen to end up in different locations,
5:43
Speaker 2: those relationships no longer are because of convenience. These are
5:47
Speaker 2: relationships that you have to choose to both work on.
5:51
Speaker 2: If one person is willing to put in a hell
5:54
Speaker 2: of a lot of effort into your friendship and the
5:56
Speaker 2: other person isn't. It could be because of a circumstance
5:59
Speaker 2: or something going on in their life, or maybe they
6:01
Speaker 2: just don't have the capacity or the interest. Sometimes you've
6:04
Speaker 2: got to walk away from that kind of friendship.
6:06
Speaker 1: Yes, and that is sometimes the most difficult thing because
6:10
Speaker 1: speaking as a very sentimental person, you know, whenever I
6:13
Speaker 1: have history with somebody, if I grew up with them,
6:16
Speaker 1: if we work together, you know, you just have that
6:19
Speaker 1: sense of closeness that might not exist in the present moment,
6:23
Speaker 1: but because you had that closeness before, it gets so
6:25
Speaker 1: hard to let go of that. If you know that
6:29
Speaker 1: life season is over. And this is another thing. You know,
6:31
Speaker 1: it's like sometimes friends just come for a season in
6:34
Speaker 1: your life and that's okay. You know, I had a
6:37
Speaker 1: hard time really letting go of people, and as I've
6:40
Speaker 1: gotten older, I've become more comfortable with the idea because
6:43
Speaker 1: everyone's just you know, trying to make it on their
6:45
Speaker 1: own and just doing their best, and it gets really hard.
6:48
Speaker 1: But you know, if you really care about a relationship,
6:52
Speaker 1: you're going to put in the effort. I always compare
6:54
Speaker 1: it to dating because it's so similar. You know, like
6:56
Speaker 1: whatever energy you're putting out, the other person has to
6:59
Speaker 1: be putting in the same amount of energy, because I
7:01
Speaker 1: can't tell you the number of times I feel like
7:03
Speaker 1: I've put my energy out there and like tried to
7:05
Speaker 1: connect with people and it wasn't reciprocated and I felt
7:09
Speaker 1: almost rejected in a way, you know, like, oh, you
7:12
Speaker 1: don't want to be my friend?
7:14
Speaker 3: Why not? What's wrong with me?
7:15
Speaker 1: But I've come to realize that if you know, people
7:18
Speaker 1: don't see your light or if they don't respond to you,
7:20
Speaker 1: then it's okay, you could keep going.
7:23
Speaker 2: And we just kind of jumped like right into the
7:25
Speaker 2: swing of things here and wrapping about friendships and whatnot.
7:27
Speaker 2: But really, what I think we want to focus on
7:30
Speaker 2: today is chatting about strategies to implement to possibly make
7:37
Speaker 2: new friends as you get older. Correct, Yes, okay, So
7:41
Speaker 2: I do want to touch on before we get into
7:43
Speaker 2: like these specific actionable takeaways, to touch on what you
7:46
Speaker 2: were saying about letting friends go, because I think that's
7:49
Speaker 2: the hardest thing. And it wasn't until I think I
7:52
Speaker 2: had my first friend breakup, so to speak, maybe like
7:56
Speaker 2: four or five years ago. I had just gotten out
7:58
Speaker 2: of a long term relationship, and I will lie I
8:02
Speaker 2: was going through it and like I was completely like
8:05
Speaker 2: self serving, self focused, and I think at that time,
8:10
Speaker 2: you know, some people that I was close with, or
8:14
Speaker 2: perhaps an individual that I was close with, like maybe
8:18
Speaker 2: just didn't want to entertain that kind of friend which
8:20
Speaker 2: was difficult for me at the time for sure, But
8:22
Speaker 2: the way that she went about it, I'll never forget that,
8:26
Speaker 2: Like she just completely ghosted me. Oh gosh, it was
8:29
Speaker 2: so sad. It was very similar to like an actual
8:32
Speaker 2: romantic breakup in that I just had placed so much
8:36
Speaker 2: trust in her and I relied on her, and then
8:39
Speaker 2: one day she just stopped answering all my messages.
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Speaker 1: Oh man, I feel the pain of that. Yeah, I
8:45
Speaker 1: feel that for sure.
8:46
Speaker 2: It was hard. It was hard, and you know what,
8:48
Speaker 2: with time, though, because that was the first time that
8:51
Speaker 2: something like that had happened to me, I came to
8:54
Speaker 2: learn what you just referenced, which was that some relationships
8:57
Speaker 2: have seasons, including friendships, and you're not going to be
9:02
Speaker 2: a person for everybody. Yes, I recognize again, like I
9:05
Speaker 2: said at the start of that small little story blip,
9:08
Speaker 2: that I was in a certain place and I actually
9:11
Speaker 2: had reached out to her uh, and wrote her a letter.
9:14
Speaker 3: Oh wow, like a handwritten letter. Yeah, old school.
9:17
Speaker 2: And I apologized that I had not been in the
9:20
Speaker 2: best place and I'm sorry if I had made her
9:24
Speaker 2: feel like what was going on in her life didn't matter,
9:27
Speaker 2: and that I really cared about her. And I never
9:29
Speaker 2: heard back.
9:30
Speaker 3: Wow.
9:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually removed her as an Instagram follower.
9:34
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
9:34
Speaker 2: Well years later.
9:36
Speaker 1: That is one of the best tools that you have
9:38
Speaker 1: on Instagram, especially if someone is taking up your mental
9:41
Speaker 1: space for whatever reason. If you're this is like a
9:44
Speaker 1: different topic, I guess, but if you're posting something and
9:46
Speaker 1: you're worried about what so and so will think about
9:48
Speaker 1: what you're posting or because all of us get caught
9:51
Speaker 1: up in that, just remove them as a follower.
9:53
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I only realized like recently that I could
9:56
Speaker 2: do that. I thought you, I thought the only option
9:58
Speaker 2: was to block someone. But you you can just remove
10:00
Speaker 2: them and then they'll go to Instagram one day and
10:02
Speaker 2: they'll be like, wait, when did I Unfollow'll be.
10:05
Speaker 3: Like it's the best thing. It's a very empowering attack.
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Speaker 2: Okay. So I hope that we just educated all of
10:11
Speaker 2: you on ways to better your mental health on social media.
10:14
Speaker 2: Now we're going to talk about strategies for making friends
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Speaker 2: as you get older. So, as Christina and I spoke
10:19
Speaker 2: about we became better friends over the last year and change,
10:23
Speaker 2: what would you attribute that to.
10:25
Speaker 1: It's so weird because I feel like I've been following
10:27
Speaker 1: you on Instagram before I even met you in person.
10:30
Speaker 1: I think that we just because we work in media,
10:33
Speaker 1: we had a lot of mutual people that we know
10:35
Speaker 1: and hang out with. So I think that after following
10:39
Speaker 1: you on social media for a while and like responding
10:41
Speaker 1: to each other on dms and comments and things, I
10:44
Speaker 1: had a familiarity with you that I felt like, Oh,
10:47
Speaker 1: why don't we just hang out in real life? And
10:49
Speaker 1: I think that you know, you're so great about reaching
10:52
Speaker 1: out and like creating plans and following through with plans,
10:55
Speaker 1: which is such a big hurdle, you know for people
10:58
Speaker 1: when they're creating friendships, just to make that first move.
11:00
Speaker 1: It's kind of like I felt nervous, like, oh, we're
11:04
Speaker 1: you know, we're Instagram friends, but like, can we be
11:06
Speaker 1: like real life friends? Because I think you're really cool and.
11:10
Speaker 2: And I think sometimes like just saying that to start
11:13
Speaker 2: off with something you just said or hinted at was
11:16
Speaker 2: that you felt like you and I had a lot
11:17
Speaker 2: in common. Yes, and I think that having something in common,
11:21
Speaker 2: but also reaching out to people who you feel like
11:24
Speaker 2: have similar values to you. The reality is is that
11:28
Speaker 2: and you've heard this on the show before, but you
11:30
Speaker 2: are some of the people that you keep closest to you.
11:32
Speaker 2: So as you get older, I'm in the mental space
11:35
Speaker 2: that there isn't like a lot of time for bullshit
11:39
Speaker 2: for lack of a better term, like I don't need
11:41
Speaker 2: just extra friends to collect in my friend basket. If
11:44
Speaker 2: I'm going to invest in a relationship and give someone
11:47
Speaker 2: some of my time, which I think we can all
11:49
Speaker 2: agree is one of our most valuable things, then you
11:53
Speaker 2: want to make sure that that's someone in your life
11:54
Speaker 2: that adds to your life, that builds you up, that
11:57
Speaker 2: encourages you, that you are align with, because why are
12:01
Speaker 2: you going to waste time on something that doesn't fill
12:02
Speaker 2: those buckets?
12:03
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I think that you know, just like any
12:07
Speaker 1: other relationship, it's something that builds organically. I think that
12:10
Speaker 1: there's nothing that replaces like real life connection. So no
12:13
Speaker 1: matter how much you interact with somebody on social media,
12:16
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of us fall into this
12:17
Speaker 1: trap as well, where you think that social media interactions
12:21
Speaker 1: also amount to an actual friendship. But again, nothing replaces
12:25
Speaker 1: seeing a person in real life, looking at them in
12:27
Speaker 1: the eye, sharing your actual energy with them. I think
12:30
Speaker 1: that that is what can help grow closeness to people.
12:35
Speaker 1: And I think social media is like such an amazing
12:37
Speaker 1: tool for being introduced to somebody, you know, like it
12:41
Speaker 1: opens the door up to friendship. And I have met
12:44
Speaker 1: so many people through Instagram because we would follow each
12:48
Speaker 1: other and then we're in the same city and they
12:50
Speaker 1: ask me to coffee, and next thing you know, we're
12:52
Speaker 1: going to dinner, and next thing you know, we're going
12:54
Speaker 1: to drinks. And I think that it's just such an
12:56
Speaker 1: organic way to find like minded people because you already
13:00
Speaker 1: have a sense of what they like, and you also
13:03
Speaker 1: already have something to talk about. So I see something
13:06
Speaker 1: that you post on your Instagram stories or on your feed,
13:08
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, like, I see you just you
13:10
Speaker 1: finished a race, and you did and you had an
13:12
Speaker 1: amazing accomplishment, and that's something that I can ask you
13:14
Speaker 1: about because it's already on your social media. And likewise,
13:17
Speaker 1: with me, if you see that I do something or
13:19
Speaker 1: if you see that I'm posting about a beauty product,
13:21
Speaker 1: you can ask me a question about it. You know,
13:23
Speaker 1: I feel like it just helps establish so many points
13:26
Speaker 1: of connection. And taking that offline is you know, it
13:31
Speaker 1: can be nerve wracking because you don't again, you don't
13:33
Speaker 1: want to feel rejected by anybody, but you just go
13:37
Speaker 1: for it. Don't be afraid to be the first person
13:39
Speaker 1: to say hi.
13:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I mean saying hi is one thing.
13:42
Speaker 2: Making an actionable plan is another thing. So if you
13:45
Speaker 2: actually want to get together with someone, I would suggest
13:49
Speaker 2: proposing like a very specific thing that the two of
13:52
Speaker 2: you could go do. So it's not just like, oh,
13:55
Speaker 2: would you want to hang out next week? It's like, no, Hey,
13:58
Speaker 2: do you want to get a glass of wine next week?
14:00
Speaker 2: Do you want to meet up for coffee next week?
14:02
Speaker 2: Just be mindful about what it is exactly that you
14:05
Speaker 2: want to do with that person, because when you take
14:08
Speaker 2: some of the decisions out of the equation, it's just
14:11
Speaker 2: like committing to a workout routine or becoming a morning person.
14:14
Speaker 2: The better you set up yourself to do either of
14:16
Speaker 2: those things. Be a morning person, have a good workout routine,
14:19
Speaker 2: the less decision making that you have to do in
14:21
Speaker 2: the moment, the more likely you're going to stick with it.
14:24
Speaker 2: So when it comes to proposing this hang so to speak,
14:27
Speaker 2: make it easy on that person, accommodate them. You could
14:30
Speaker 2: even do something like, Hey, I'm going to be in
14:32
Speaker 2: your area next week. Now, don't be creepy. But I
14:36
Speaker 2: remember when I went on an informational interview in college.
14:38
Speaker 2: I went and met with a deputy web editor or
14:41
Speaker 2: something at Shape magazine, and I was living in Connecticut,
14:44
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm so going to be in
14:45
Speaker 2: the city next Thursday. Could you have some time just
14:48
Speaker 2: for me to ask you a few questions? Was not
14:50
Speaker 2: going to be in the city next Thursday, And I
14:51
Speaker 2: was like, let us do it, and she was like, sure,
14:53
Speaker 2: you can come for lunch, and I was like, great's
14:56
Speaker 2: So I went in and I was like a junior
14:58
Speaker 2: in college and I took the train into this and
15:00
Speaker 2: met up with her. Long story short, you can do
15:02
Speaker 2: that with friends, potential friends. Just be like, Hey, I'm
15:06
Speaker 2: going to be in Brooklyn next week or New York
15:08
Speaker 2: next wherever you're going to be. If you actually happen
15:11
Speaker 2: to live like in a proximity where this would make sense.
15:13
Speaker 2: But make it easy for them, ask them to do
15:15
Speaker 2: something in their neighborhood, and then if you two click
15:19
Speaker 2: the next time, you might not have to travel so
15:21
Speaker 2: far to put an effort on this relationship.
15:23
Speaker 3: Yeah.
15:23
Speaker 1: I'm big on making a calendar invite as well and
15:26
Speaker 1: treating it just like any other appointment on your calendar.
15:29
Speaker 2: This is why you and I are cool.
15:31
Speaker 3: And Emily is so good about this too.
15:33
Speaker 1: She always sends a calendvite and like, love this girl
15:36
Speaker 1: because it's like that's kind of what sets it in
15:39
Speaker 1: stone and makes the plans very real and everyone knows
15:42
Speaker 1: exactly what time, exactly what place, and then you can
15:44
Speaker 1: always follow up with each other on other details. And
15:47
Speaker 1: I just think that making that commitment to each other
15:50
Speaker 1: on the calendar, it just like solidifies it.
15:53
Speaker 2: Oh one hundred percent. Okay, So the first tip was
15:57
Speaker 2: someone's going to make the ask, so get out, get
15:59
Speaker 2: out of your comfort its own, maybe ask someone to
16:01
Speaker 2: do something. The next tip is be specific in that ask.
16:05
Speaker 2: So if you're going to ask someone to do something,
16:07
Speaker 2: make sure that you are giving them a very detailed
16:10
Speaker 2: proposal of what you would like to do, maybe within reason,
16:12
Speaker 2: like don't be like you can also wear your black
16:15
Speaker 2: tank top and your black jeans. I'm gonna be wearing heels.
16:17
Speaker 2: What are you gonna be wearing? Like?
16:18
Speaker 1: Maybe not yet, maybe not combine activities either, you know,
16:21
Speaker 1: like we're gonna get coffee and then we're gonna do
16:23
Speaker 1: a workout class and then we're gonna do lunch.
16:25
Speaker 3: And I think that's a bit much.
16:26
Speaker 2: It's a little it's a little much, because remember even
16:29
Speaker 2: though if you're if you're courting this friendship based off
16:32
Speaker 2: of social media, you still don't know a lot about them,
16:35
Speaker 2: Like you might think you know a lot about them,
16:37
Speaker 2: but you don't know. It's a date, just like a
16:39
Speaker 2: date is a date. So you could go on this
16:41
Speaker 2: one outing and it could be great, or you could
16:44
Speaker 2: go on this outing and be like, not my style.
16:46
Speaker 2: And there's nothing wrong with either of those. Now that
16:49
Speaker 2: we've covered those two introductory tactics, what you got for me, Christina?
16:53
Speaker 1: So I would say, especially as people start going back
16:56
Speaker 1: into offices and working in an office environment, that's probably
16:59
Speaker 1: the best that you can make friends, honestly. And I
17:02
Speaker 1: know that some people say you shouldn't like mix personal
17:05
Speaker 1: with professional, but I couldn't, you know, I would disagree
17:09
Speaker 1: just because having people in your workplace is so crucial
17:12
Speaker 1: to you, just your well being and thriving in that environment.
17:15
Speaker 1: So I think making the transition from work friends to
17:19
Speaker 1: IRL friends is something that a lot of people wonder
17:23
Speaker 1: how to do. Say you like somebody that you work
17:25
Speaker 1: with and they are really cool, I would say that
17:29
Speaker 1: you should start out with like start small, like get
17:31
Speaker 1: lunches during the work day, or get coffee during the workday,
17:35
Speaker 1: and then after that, you know, if you guys are
17:38
Speaker 1: really vibing well, then you can invite them to a
17:42
Speaker 1: group thing, you know, like you have a casual birthday drinks,
17:45
Speaker 1: then you invite them and then that could turn into
17:47
Speaker 1: dinner later that month. You know. I feel like it's
17:50
Speaker 1: like any other relationship, just things happened organically and you
17:54
Speaker 1: have to give it some time, you know. Like I
17:57
Speaker 1: have made some of my closest friends in my adulthood
18:00
Speaker 1: within the past few years from my workplace, and a
18:02
Speaker 1: lot of times they were people and I didn't even
18:04
Speaker 1: work with directly. We were just in the same company,
18:07
Speaker 1: you know. We would see each other in the cafeteria,
18:09
Speaker 1: we would see each other by the watering the watering hole, watering.
18:13
Speaker 2: Hole, by the water color. This is like like irl,
18:17
Speaker 2: mean girls in the cafeteria and they're all like scraping
18:20
Speaker 2: at each other and reas just what it.
18:22
Speaker 3: Was a watering hole.
18:23
Speaker 1: I literally haven't been inside of an office clearly in
18:26
Speaker 1: over a year.
18:27
Speaker 3: Oh god, the watering hole.
18:30
Speaker 1: But yeah, And I think another thing is when you
18:33
Speaker 1: leave a job, making sure to maintain those friendships that
18:36
Speaker 1: you really enjoy, just because it's so easy again to
18:39
Speaker 1: get caught up in only wanting convenience or proximity. So
18:43
Speaker 1: I have a really good friend. Her name's Alyssa, and
18:46
Speaker 1: we work together. We met in twenty fifteen and we
18:50
Speaker 1: were both both working at l and she still works
18:52
Speaker 1: there right now. But she's so amazing at maintaining friendships
18:55
Speaker 1: because she really makes the effort all the time, and
18:59
Speaker 1: she plans themed parties where she invites people, she plans picnics,
19:03
Speaker 1: and you know, it's just I'm like, well, she's she's amazing.
19:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, can be my friend.
19:09
Speaker 1: Alyssa's wonderful. She but she she's just so great because
19:13
Speaker 1: she constantly follows up with you and checks on you.
19:18
Speaker 1: And I think that's another thing too, like don't and
19:21
Speaker 1: you're so good at this too, Like don't be afraid
19:23
Speaker 1: to just check in, just to check in.
19:25
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. And that's a good point when it comes
19:27
Speaker 2: to making solid friendships as you get older, it's really
19:30
Speaker 2: really important to make sure that it is a two
19:33
Speaker 2: way street. I talked about a time where I wasn't
19:36
Speaker 2: in the mental space to provide that for a friend,
19:38
Speaker 2: so I can understand why that might have been troublesome.
19:41
Speaker 2: You want to make sure if you're establishing a new
19:43
Speaker 2: friendship with someone that it is a true give and take.
19:47
Speaker 2: We don't have time to you know, divv dilly dabble,
19:51
Speaker 2: divvy dp dilly daddle, dilly daddle. We don't have time
19:55
Speaker 2: to dilly daddle in like surface level relationships. We we
20:00
Speaker 2: are looking for the real. If you're looking for like
20:03
Speaker 2: a surface I don't know. I'm not here to talk
20:04
Speaker 2: to you about surface level relationships.
20:06
Speaker 3: Who has time for that.
20:08
Speaker 1: I'm just like, life is too short, men, and you
20:10
Speaker 1: want to have every relationship in your life add value
20:12
Speaker 1: to your life.
20:13
Speaker 2: I feel that. So, yeah, you want to make sure
20:15
Speaker 2: that as you go about your friend making journey that
20:18
Speaker 2: you are establishing give and take relationships and that again
20:22
Speaker 2: you feel filled up by these relationships. Now another tactic
20:27
Speaker 2: that we can chat about when it comes to making friends.
20:31
Speaker 2: And you kind of brought this up with your work friend,
20:33
Speaker 2: kicking things off perhaps in a group way, if you're
20:36
Speaker 2: not ready to go one on one again. With the pandemic,
20:40
Speaker 2: that kind of method has been a little difficult. Hopefully
20:42
Speaker 2: for many of us in some sort of safe capacity,
20:45
Speaker 2: opportunities like this may be coming back. So why do
20:49
Speaker 2: you think, Christina, that the group paying is a great
20:52
Speaker 2: way to kind of get in with someone.
20:55
Speaker 1: I think it takes the pressure off of you. You know,
20:57
Speaker 1: one on one can be awkward, honestly, especially if you've
21:01
Speaker 1: never seen if you are social media friends for example,
21:04
Speaker 1: you've never met in real life. It can be really
21:06
Speaker 1: awkward if you don't know somebody. So when you have
21:08
Speaker 1: a group I feel like it helps because there's always
21:12
Speaker 1: going to be one or two other people or however
21:14
Speaker 1: many other people there to kind of add to the
21:16
Speaker 1: conversation to make it feel more comfortable. And honestly, I've
21:21
Speaker 1: met people through groups a lot. I feel like, you know,
21:25
Speaker 1: one time a friend invited me to go get dim
21:27
Speaker 1: sum with her friends, and I didn't know anyone else there.
21:30
Speaker 1: I just knew her and we were work friends, and
21:33
Speaker 1: that was so much fun, you know. And then one
21:36
Speaker 1: girl that was at that brunch we ended up going
21:38
Speaker 1: to a Broadway show together, just the two of us,
21:40
Speaker 1: not with my other friends. So it's kind of like,
21:42
Speaker 1: you never know. I'm a big proponent of going alone
21:46
Speaker 1: to functions, to social events, someone's birthday party or you know,
21:50
Speaker 1: after works drink thing, even if no one that you
21:53
Speaker 1: know is really going to it, or if you're not
21:56
Speaker 1: close to anyone who's really going, just because you really
21:58
Speaker 1: never know what connection you can make there and what
22:01
Speaker 1: people are there. And I think when I'm alone at
22:03
Speaker 1: an event and I don't have anyone to kind of
22:05
Speaker 1: lean on, a lot of times I become a lot
22:07
Speaker 1: more open and social, like you're kind of forced to
22:11
Speaker 1: say hi to people and introduce yourself.
22:21
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24:07
Speaker 2: Trust me, you won't regret it. I also feel like
24:18
Speaker 2: now is a good time to disclaim, even after you
24:21
Speaker 2: telling that story, that Christina's engaged. And I think that
24:25
Speaker 2: a lot of the time, if you happen to be
24:28
Speaker 2: a single woman listening to this show, you may feel
24:31
Speaker 2: some kind of way about the fact that some of
24:34
Speaker 2: your friends are in relationships, they are married, and you
24:38
Speaker 2: may be like, well, this person can't go somewhere without
24:41
Speaker 2: their person, Like, don't make that decision for them.
24:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, people make that assumption about me sometimes because you know, Michael,
24:49
Speaker 1: my fiance and I are like joined at the hip,
24:52
Speaker 1: but most of the most of the time, but a
24:54
Speaker 1: lot of times we make the point to really hang
24:56
Speaker 1: out with our friends separately because it's so necessary to
24:59
Speaker 1: just have like individual lives apart from each other. And
25:02
Speaker 1: in order to you know, foster those relationships, you need
25:05
Speaker 1: to make sure that you're like watering that garden, you know,
25:08
Speaker 1: just because you're in a relationship. And I've seen this
25:10
Speaker 1: happen to other friends of mine. You know, you get
25:13
Speaker 1: in a relationship and all of a sudden, that person
25:15
Speaker 1: is your world. You don't really see anyone else outside
25:17
Speaker 1: of your bubble. And I totally understand that honeymoon phase,
25:20
Speaker 1: you know, but after a while, you really need to
25:23
Speaker 1: take stock of your relationships and ask yourself, when is
25:27
Speaker 1: the last time I saw the person I call my
25:29
Speaker 1: best friend?
25:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, if you are the friend of this person,
25:34
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean that this person, because they have a partner,
25:38
Speaker 2: doesn't feel lonely like you feel lonely sometimes, like they're
25:42
Speaker 2: going through their day just like you're going through your day.
25:46
Speaker 2: And there is still a need for that companionship that
25:50
Speaker 2: they need outside of that partnership. So again I would
25:54
Speaker 2: just say, and this is kind of a total tangent,
25:56
Speaker 2: but just don't throw them into a box that they
25:59
Speaker 2: didn't ask to be put in. Yes, okay, yeah, cool,
26:03
Speaker 2: I'm glad that we had that little chat. So back
26:06
Speaker 2: to friendship making strategies.
26:08
Speaker 1: What do you got Take up a new hobby where
26:10
Speaker 1: you'll see familiar faces. So I have friends who are
26:13
Speaker 1: very into indoor climbing, and because it's a very tight
26:17
Speaker 1: knit community, they have met some of their closest friends
26:20
Speaker 1: through that. And even though I'm not an indoor climbing person,
26:23
Speaker 1: I see that and I'm like, that is such a
26:24
Speaker 1: cool thing. You know, as we get older, a lot
26:27
Speaker 1: of times our lives revolve around work and just socializing
26:31
Speaker 1: at work, doing things at work, thinking about work, so
26:35
Speaker 1: it's so essential to create hobbies outside of your job.
26:39
Speaker 1: And seeing my friends get into indoor climbing over the
26:42
Speaker 1: last few years has been so cool. And also you
26:44
Speaker 1: literally need somebody there to help you with billaying, so
26:48
Speaker 1: it's kind of like you even if you go alone,
26:50
Speaker 1: you have to approach somebody being like, hey, can you
26:52
Speaker 1: spot me? Or I don't know if that's the right terminology, sorry, climbers.
26:56
Speaker 1: Other things that I've seen people get into that are
26:59
Speaker 1: very cool, as like pop you know, like going to
27:01
Speaker 1: pottery class, taking up sewing lessons. Like when you're in
27:04
Speaker 1: a class environment, you're already in a kind of ecosystem
27:08
Speaker 1: of people who you have to collaborate with, So I
27:10
Speaker 1: feel like those are great ways to meet new people.
27:12
Speaker 3: Have you ever done that?
27:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I definitely see that here in the New
27:16
Speaker 2: York running community, and I think that there are a
27:18
Speaker 2: couple of different approaches to getting involved in something like that, right,
27:21
Speaker 2: So the first step is actually getting involved, putting yourself
27:24
Speaker 2: in that situation, which in itself is kind of a
27:27
Speaker 2: big win for many putting yourself out there. And then
27:30
Speaker 2: in that scenario, if you meet someone that you really
27:33
Speaker 2: vibe with, that's when you can be like, hey, do
27:35
Speaker 2: you want to grab a drink after practice? Or hey, like,
27:38
Speaker 2: I'm doing this thing on Saturday, would you want to
27:40
Speaker 2: come with me. Now, I understand that putting yourself out
27:43
Speaker 2: there in that way can feel a little bit intimidating,
27:46
Speaker 2: So look to that club or organization because often times
27:52
Speaker 2: in situations like that, there are going to be different
27:55
Speaker 2: opportunities to continue to engage with these people outside of
27:58
Speaker 2: just like that once weekly practice or whatever you have
28:01
Speaker 2: going on. And also something else I'll add to this
28:03
Speaker 2: is you have to go into that scenario feeling really
28:06
Speaker 2: open to the idea of making friendships, which means like
28:11
Speaker 2: when you get there, you're not like standing in the
28:13
Speaker 2: corner on your phone if someone looks at you, like,
28:16
Speaker 2: smile at them. Making friends is just it's a two
28:19
Speaker 2: way street. And if you're not there giving off that vibe,
28:22
Speaker 2: giving up the vibe that you want to be friendly,
28:25
Speaker 2: that you want to get to know these people, then
28:28
Speaker 2: you won't make friends period. Just being there isn't enough.
28:33
Speaker 1: I love that you're saying this because I think with
28:36
Speaker 1: our phones and all of us glued to our phones,
28:38
Speaker 1: especially in this city, that can be very antisocial.
28:42
Speaker 3: You know, everyone in their own bubbles.
28:44
Speaker 1: I think that it's so important to engage with people
28:47
Speaker 1: face to face, you know, say hello, introduce yourself, put
28:50
Speaker 1: on a big.
28:51
Speaker 2: Smile, and I feel like I hear it, even though
28:53
Speaker 2: none of you are actually here with us, but I
28:55
Speaker 2: hear your questions. You're like, oh, but I'm still I'm
28:58
Speaker 2: just not in the place where I want to be
28:59
Speaker 2: in big like what am I supposed to do? And
29:02
Speaker 2: there are plenty of ways to engage with like minded
29:05
Speaker 2: people online. I'm not just gonna like sit here and
29:08
Speaker 2: plug the Secret Hurdler's Facebook group. If you like something
29:12
Speaker 2: like a podcast, like a TV show, like a magazine,
29:16
Speaker 2: like a whatever, there are groups that center around that product.
29:22
Speaker 2: And just like we were saying about social media before,
29:25
Speaker 2: this gives you a mutual interest to talk to other
29:29
Speaker 2: people about in that space. So maybe in the digital
29:34
Speaker 2: world you'll see that a podcast you love is hosting
29:38
Speaker 2: a workshop. Well, that digital workshop is a great place
29:42
Speaker 2: for you to jump in and meet like minded people.
29:44
Speaker 2: You're both there because you're into the same thing, and
29:47
Speaker 2: that is a great jumping off point.
29:49
Speaker 1: Clubhouse has been great for that. If you guys don't know,
29:52
Speaker 1: it's an app that's audio based and you can go
29:54
Speaker 1: into rooms with different topics and obviously everyone in the
29:56
Speaker 1: room is interested in the topic. And then a lot
29:59
Speaker 1: of people there's social media accounts to Clubhouse because you
30:02
Speaker 1: can't actually chat on the app, and I haven't been
30:04
Speaker 1: on it as much lately, but it's been amazing for
30:07
Speaker 1: meeting people. Like there was another woman who's also in
30:10
Speaker 1: the beauty industry who met me through Clubhouse, and we
30:13
Speaker 1: live in the same neighborhood, so we're planning to go
30:15
Speaker 1: get coffee, and that wouldn't have happened if I didn't
30:17
Speaker 1: just walk into that virtual room.
30:19
Speaker 2: I adore that. I adore that. Okay, so other friendship
30:23
Speaker 2: making strategies, what do you have for me?
30:26
Speaker 1: I think you can ask friends to set you up
30:28
Speaker 1: in the same way that they would set you up
30:29
Speaker 1: with a romantic partner.
30:30
Speaker 2: I dig this, I really dig this.
30:33
Speaker 3: Yes, bikesmand Yeah.
30:35
Speaker 1: So, say you moved to a new city, or say
30:37
Speaker 1: you're visiting a city and you're going to be there
30:39
Speaker 1: for a while. I think it's it's fun to just
30:42
Speaker 1: ask people that you're already friends with if they know
30:44
Speaker 1: anyone in the area that they think that you would
30:46
Speaker 1: vibe with, because chances are if you have a mutual friend,
30:49
Speaker 1: you probably would get along with each other too, and
30:51
Speaker 1: then you already have a common point to talk about
30:53
Speaker 1: as well, how did you meet so and so that's
30:55
Speaker 1: such an easy entryway into a conversation.
30:57
Speaker 3: You never know who knows somebody who like it's the
31:00
Speaker 3: same thing that you do.
31:01
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a friend who's always introducing
31:03
Speaker 1: people via email. You know, she's like, Christina likes Broadway musicals.
31:07
Speaker 1: This person likes Broadway musicals. You guys should like just
31:10
Speaker 1: get to know each other. And sometimes at first that
31:13
Speaker 1: took I was taken aback by that because I was like, oh,
31:16
Speaker 1: that's such a strange thing to do. But when I
31:17
Speaker 1: think about it, actually, no, it's just expanding your horizons.
31:20
Speaker 2: I also think that now would be a good time
31:23
Speaker 2: for us to maybe rap a little bit about when
31:26
Speaker 2: to fall back. Right. So two things to kind of
31:32
Speaker 2: throw into the mix here. The first thing is, like
31:35
Speaker 2: I said before, if you get together with someone and
31:38
Speaker 2: you're like kind of realizing that it might not be
31:40
Speaker 2: your vibe, there's no shade in that at all. What
31:44
Speaker 2: you do in that situation next is completely up to you.
31:49
Speaker 2: You can just kind of in a gracious way, I
31:52
Speaker 2: would say, bow out a little bit, what would you
31:55
Speaker 2: do in that situation?
31:56
Speaker 1: I think the mutual ghost is something that happens lot
32:00
Speaker 1: if friends. If a friendship isn't not working out for
32:03
Speaker 1: bad reasons, you know, but maybe you just didn't really
32:05
Speaker 1: vibe with each other like you thought you would, or
32:07
Speaker 1: our schedules are conflicting and you just you can't put
32:10
Speaker 1: in the time to create that relationship, you know. I
32:13
Speaker 1: think that it's okay to kind of just step back
32:16
Speaker 1: from it and again, like you said, always be kind
32:19
Speaker 1: and if you see them again, it's okay you could
32:22
Speaker 1: just say, hey, maybe you'd want to pick it up again.
32:24
Speaker 1: Maybe there's something else that you guys can connect on,
32:27
Speaker 1: but if not, it's all right to kind of let
32:28
Speaker 1: that go.
32:29
Speaker 2: I would also say, be aware of what's actually happening, Like,
32:36
Speaker 2: don't tell yourself stories about what could be happening. So
32:39
Speaker 2: if you notice that with someone who maybe isn't your
32:43
Speaker 2: best friend, if you keep asking them to get together
32:47
Speaker 2: and they keep not getting together, then give them the space,
32:51
Speaker 2: like you deserve a better friend than that. And that
32:55
Speaker 2: person can't give you whatever it is that you're looking for,
32:58
Speaker 2: and there's no shade in that they could be going
33:01
Speaker 2: through something that you have no idea what's going on.
33:04
Speaker 2: Let them, let them deal with whatever they have to
33:07
Speaker 2: do on their own time, and maybe just maybe seek
33:11
Speaker 2: out that friendship in someone else, at least for the
33:13
Speaker 2: time being. That doesn't mean that you can't check in
33:16
Speaker 2: again in like a few months. But if you keep
33:18
Speaker 2: checking in and keep checking in and keep checking in
33:20
Speaker 2: and that person isn't giving you something, then let them go.
33:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, preach, you have to be with people who are
33:26
Speaker 1: excited to see you, who see your light, appreciate your light,
33:30
Speaker 1: that love what you bring to the table. And my
33:32
Speaker 1: favorite thing to say to friends, whether it's romantic relationships
33:35
Speaker 1: or friendships or anything, is what's the point of having
33:37
Speaker 1: a lukewarm relationship?
33:39
Speaker 2: Yeah?
33:39
Speaker 1: You know where it's not really exciting at all, you know,
33:44
Speaker 1: and there's not really any spark there. It's kind of like,
33:47
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Are you just doing it to
33:48
Speaker 1: like occupy your time? And there's so many other things
33:51
Speaker 1: that you could possibly be doing. If a relationship is lukewarm,
33:54
Speaker 1: maybe best to step back.
33:56
Speaker 2: Best to step back. And I also think that this
33:58
Speaker 2: is a good time for us to touch on the
34:01
Speaker 2: idea that if you find yourself with a lot of
34:04
Speaker 2: those lukewarm relationships, which I think can unfortunately happen, especially
34:09
Speaker 2: as we're talking about over the pandemic, a lot of
34:11
Speaker 2: people moving, a lot of things in flux, if you
34:13
Speaker 2: find yourself with a lot of those types of relationships,
34:17
Speaker 2: I would encourage you to focus on the things that
34:20
Speaker 2: bring you joy maybe more than these lukewarm relationships. So
34:25
Speaker 2: there can be a lot of things that you can
34:26
Speaker 2: do with your time that don't involve just putting yourself
34:30
Speaker 2: in situations that don't make you feel good, that don't
34:33
Speaker 2: fill you up.
34:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I've definitely been in that position before where
34:37
Speaker 1: I didn't say no, or I didn't set a boundary,
34:39
Speaker 1: and I felt like, oh, why am I here, you know,
34:43
Speaker 1: sitting through you know something that I don't want to
34:46
Speaker 1: be at and you know, I wasn't really honoring myself
34:49
Speaker 1: because I was afraid.
34:50
Speaker 3: To be alone.
34:51
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And I mean all of these really really,
34:53
Speaker 2: really really important topics, especially as we're getting older and
34:57
Speaker 2: kind of redefining what it means to be into or
35:00
Speaker 2: be a good friend or be a good partner. What
35:03
Speaker 2: else do you want to rap about?
35:04
Speaker 1: I feel like the last point that I would make
35:06
Speaker 1: is be open to apps, because there are apps that
35:10
Speaker 1: exist that can pare you with friends. I know, bumble does.
35:14
Speaker 1: I actually wrote a story a couple years ago about
35:17
Speaker 1: using one of these apps. I don't think it exists anymore,
35:20
Speaker 1: but I use one of these apps to try and
35:23
Speaker 1: find a friend because I realized that my friend group
35:26
Speaker 1: was only my childhood friends, and because everyone is still
35:29
Speaker 1: in New York City and I grew up here, it's
35:31
Speaker 1: kind of easy to just be in that comfort zone.
35:33
Speaker 1: But I was eager to make other friends as well.
35:36
Speaker 1: And I think when I tried out this app, it
35:39
Speaker 1: was very much like a dating app. You create a profile,
35:41
Speaker 1: you kind of swipe through other people's profiles, and you
35:43
Speaker 1: see they like the same music that you do, or
35:47
Speaker 1: that you both like. Fitness classes and whatnot. So I
35:50
Speaker 1: remember matching with a girl and we decided to get
35:52
Speaker 1: drinks with each other, and it was as if we
35:55
Speaker 1: had known each other for so long, you know, and
35:58
Speaker 1: the experience completely surprised me. I remember when we had
36:01
Speaker 1: drinks with each other, we actually realized that we both
36:03
Speaker 1: love the same hip hop dance cardio class. And I
36:08
Speaker 1: was because I would go to that class by myself
36:10
Speaker 1: and wish that I had a friend to go with
36:12
Speaker 1: because it's Vixen.
36:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like, you know.
36:17
Speaker 1: Beyonce inspired. I came across it like through just work,
36:20
Speaker 1: and then when I decided to take a class, I
36:22
Speaker 1: was like, this is so much fun. I wish that
36:24
Speaker 1: I had friends who were into this. Of course, none
36:26
Speaker 1: of my friends were into this, so I was like,
36:27
Speaker 1: all right, well, I'm going to go buy myself to
36:29
Speaker 1: these classes. It's great, shake it out like sweat a
36:32
Speaker 1: ton and have so much fun. But I remember when
36:35
Speaker 1: we were when I was having drinks with this girl,
36:37
Speaker 1: she ended up telling me, oh, there's this hip hop
36:39
Speaker 1: dance cardio class that I love, and I was like no, wait, wait,
36:42
Speaker 1: wait wait, And I remember we connected on this and
36:44
Speaker 1: then after we got drinks decided to go and go
36:47
Speaker 1: to a class together and that was so much fun
36:49
Speaker 1: and unexpected, and again it was all from meeting somebody
36:52
Speaker 1: on an app.
36:53
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that well. I hope that
36:56
Speaker 2: this was very helpful.
36:57
Speaker 3: I hope so too.
36:58
Speaker 1: There's so much to say on this topic, because as
37:01
Speaker 1: you get older, things change even more, you know, like
37:03
Speaker 1: you said, people keep moving away, people have career changes,
37:07
Speaker 1: people's priorities change as well, And I think the older
37:11
Speaker 1: we get, the more isolated we get in a way
37:14
Speaker 1: with our lives.
37:16
Speaker 2: And I would say, if you're listening to this and
37:19
Speaker 2: you came here because you are feeling alone or lonely,
37:23
Speaker 2: or that you're just like in this really stuck place
37:26
Speaker 2: with your friendships, know that you are not alone in that,
37:29
Speaker 2: and that is very real and something that literally everyone
37:34
Speaker 2: struggles with. And remember again that what you see on
37:37
Speaker 2: social media isn't the full picture. So you might think
37:40
Speaker 2: that you know that someone is super filled up in
37:42
Speaker 2: their relationships and you see them out and they're doing
37:45
Speaker 2: all these things, but you don't know how they really feel.
37:47
Speaker 2: So don't judge yourself based on the highlight reel of
37:51
Speaker 2: someone else, and stay true to yourself, be willing to
37:54
Speaker 2: put yourself out there and good things could come from it.
37:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, just be yourself.
37:58
Speaker 1: There are people out there who will appreciate you and
38:00
Speaker 1: meet you where you are. I think that you should
38:03
Speaker 1: never forget just how special you are. And I think
38:06
Speaker 1: it's so easy to because it's easy to compare ourselves
38:09
Speaker 1: and our lives to other people and see, oh, they
38:12
Speaker 1: have such a strong friendship group. I wish I had
38:14
Speaker 1: that friendship group, or like, oh they have you know,
38:17
Speaker 1: such like you said, such a full life. But don't
38:20
Speaker 1: compare yourself. You are so special. Don't forget it. Someone
38:24
Speaker 1: out there will appreciate you.
38:25
Speaker 2: Christina, how do the hurdlers keep up with you? How
38:28
Speaker 2: do they follow along with you? Give us all of
38:30
Speaker 2: the details.
38:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could find me on at Christina Rodolpho k
38:34
Speaker 1: R I S T I N A r O, d
38:37
Speaker 1: U LFO on all social platforms. I love to DM people.
38:41
Speaker 2: She loves to dm people. Get ready, your new BFA
38:44
Speaker 2: is waiting in the messages. I'm over at Emily a
38:47
Speaker 2: Body and at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you
38:50
Speaker 2: guys next time.