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SMNTY Fiction: Terminus, Part 3 (Chapter 2) · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Will Never Told You prediction of iHeartRadio. And we are
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: back with our first edition of Sminty Fiction of twenty
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: twenty five. That's exciting. We are in the third part
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: of the Terminus trilogy, so you can start here if
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: you want. I'm not going to tell you what to do,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: but you'll probably be very confused. So I also really
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: appreciate the people who've been writing in about it. Who
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: some of you are doing kind of like the listening
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: once per month. Some of you are binging like per
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: like per book. I love that. I think that's great.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: But yes, this is something we do generally once a
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: month that it has more soundscape. Being Christina makes them amazing,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So thank you always to Christina. And they are really
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: fun to do. That being said, they're kind of dark,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: and I get it if it's not your thing. I'm
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: somebody for some reason seems to like apocalyptic things when
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: everything feels terrible.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: But I think this is going to be a psychological
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: study on you soon.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Why does she keep playing the Last
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: of Us too? Even though she cries miserably every time?
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Why she thinks about it for days on end and
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: still cries about it.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: And then she's sometimes here's some kind of guitar note
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: and just starts crying because it reminds her of the
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: last of Us.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: And then our friend says that going, she's fine. She
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: really loves she loves a song I do.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm very excited about that. I'm sure that's no
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: surprise to anyone. But yeah, they're kind of dark. So
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: content warning for disease. Uh, it's pretty apocalyptic scenario, kidnapping, injury,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: and painkillers. There's nothing too graphic in this chapter, but
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: just to put it out there that is present. And
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the way that we do these, because I kind of
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: had to remind myself of the format, is we give
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the quick recap, go into the fiction. At the end,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: we have a very brief discussion. This is something I
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: wrote for National Novel Writing Month, so I like revisiting
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: them because it tells me where my head was at
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: the time, especially as not a mother. I'm very fascinated
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that I wrote this trilogy, but I remember where I
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: was when I wrote this one in term I wrote
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: this in a car. This is like the shortest one
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: of the three, but I do like where it goes,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: so hopefully you all will too if you need a recap,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: which I totally understand. This story takes place in a
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: world where there is a virus that has pretty much
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: estimated the human population. It is basically, once you have sex,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: if you didn't, if the person question didn't get pregnant,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna get pregnant. And so government institutions and
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: this religious organization called arm ARM has taken over the
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: United States pretty much, and they control when you can
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: have tried to have kids, They control who you're partnered with,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: They control if a kid is born, where they go.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Our main character, Tilda, had a baby illegally named Madison,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: and escaped with him because she didn't want to be
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: parted from him, and then they were on the run
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: from the government for many years before they ran into
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: resistance and learned that there was a vaccine, but arm
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: ARM had basically created the virus and then destroyed the
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: vaccine because they wanted to have power and believed people
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: were guilty. So Tilda ventures into Washington, d C. Where
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: there is one vaccine remaining, and learns that the leaders
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: of arm are the grandparents of person Madison. She then
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: broadcasts all of these truths through their state broadcast system
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: and runs and they've been on the run for a
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: long time.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: And then.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Some group in a tank came and kidnapped Madison and
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Tilda was grievously, grievously injured in it. And she has
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: lost Madison. She doesn't know what to do now. She
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: doesn't know where he is. She doesn't know who she
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: is without him, because her whole life has been defined
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: by him. So that's where we are. She's in a
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: dark place, she's really injured. She doesn't know what to do.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: This does sound familiar?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: It does? I swear I wrote this footboo. Anyway, let
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: us get into the fiction. When Tilda woke, the room
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: was light, much lighter than she was used to upon waking.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: For a long time, she didn't move, swathed in a
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: cocoon of warmth and temporary reprieve from pain, Lurking at
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the edges of her consciousness waiting to pounce. Birds chirped loudly,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: dragging her back from sleep. Every time she almost drifted
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: back into it again. Eventually, she blinked awake, laying there
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: for another stretch of time, gathering the strength to face
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: leaving her blanket, getting up standing, facing another day without Madison,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: she sat up the comforter, sliding from her top half
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: and exposing her to the frisk, stinging of cool air.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Her muscles pulled practically every part of her sore. Tilda
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: started cataloging her body's aches and demands. Her lips were chapped,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: her face pulsing, her throat dry, Her wrist, knee, and
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: ankle felt like they were on fire, but all of
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: that was diminished by the sharp throb of her ribs,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: not to mention the stiffness plaguing her entire body. She
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: reached for her bag and once again pulled out her
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: water and a granola bar, though the thought of eating
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: did not appeal to her, and the bottle of painkillers,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: taking out three and putting the bottle back, swishing them
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: down with some water. Judging by the light it was
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: almost noon. She'd slept quite a long time. She needed
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: to get going, but still eating too quickly would be
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: a mistake, so she munched on her granola, taking a
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: sip of water in between each bite. The food tasted
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: bland in her mouth. For a moment, she studied her foot.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: The swelling had gone down, but it was still noticeably
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: larger than its twin, but there was no way around it.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Tilda pulled out her right shoe, sighing heavily when saying,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: she wiggled and wedged her two large foot into the shoe,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: tying the laces as tight as her ankle would allow.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Once finished, she removed the blanket, not allowing herself to linger.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: Now that she'd wasted half the light of the day
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: and stood like a toddler still getting used to being
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: upright on their own. Her legs were numb, waking them
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: up problematic with the sprained ankle, so she just careened
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: to the door, the flow of blood waking up her legs.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Tilda stepped out into the light, squinting at the brightness,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: wishing she had time to search these houses for supplies,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: even be a working car, But experience had taught her
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: not to count on such a stroke of luck, and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: if the house she'd crashed in last night was any
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: indication the residents of this town had taken all of
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: their useful belongings when they had left their homes, she
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: retraced her steps back onto the highway. The pain more
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: bearable than the day before, and reflecting in her marshly
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: increased pace. The downside of this was that it freed
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: up space in her brain to concoct horrible scenarios of
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Madison's fate, to worry about her lack of plans or resources,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: the possibility that she'd never find him. How long, she wondered,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: would it take for her to give up finding him?
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Could she? Ever? In contrast to her thoughts, the day
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: was a bright one. It took a surprisingly long time
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: for her to reach the outskirts of Shawsville, as indicated
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: by the sign thanks for visiting. The town center itself
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: was tiny, but the boundary of the town extended far
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: after any signs that living did. All against the backdrop
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: of mountains in the distance, The road unrolled before her,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: following the trend of flight of a straightaway, only serving
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: to up the feeling of exposure. At this point, With
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: her son snatched from her arms, her fear felt largely diminished.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: What else could they take? They'd taken the only thing
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: that truly mattered her life was of little consequence without him. No,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the fear she felt now was for Madison of what
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: was happening to him and the wife that awaited him
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: is she never found him. It amazed her how much
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: less afraid she felt without him by her side, indicating
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to her that most of the fear she felt stemmed
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: from her fear of not being able to keep him safe.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Tilda hoped he knew she was looking for him, that
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: she would never give up finding him. There was no
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: sovization as far as she could see, which made her
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: prospects of finding a place to shelter tonight much less
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: any sign of the people who took Madison. The benefit
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: of this was that she had to assume, given that
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: no roads branched off the main highway, that this was
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: the only path her child's captors could have taken. She
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: kept an eye on the side of the road, looking
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: for any signs of the tank, but finding none. Belatedly,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: she remembered her handgun. They must have taken it. Tilda
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: had hazy memories of firing a bullet and a man falling,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: and wondered if she could add another casualty to her
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: growing list. To distract herself from the dark thoughts and
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: confounding pain at Tilda attempted to come up with some
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: type of plan of what she would do given that
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: she found what she imagined to be a stronghold. Option one,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: she figured was to sneak into this group, find her son,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: and sneak out. This was the best one she could
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: think of in her current situation, but it depended on
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: a lot of luck. Tilda knew to not exist. She'd
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: have to observe her targets for several days at least
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: to get an idea of their schedule, their layout, the
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: location of Madisone, and how many people between him and her,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: And that was just getting in. She imagined that they'd
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: realize fairly quickly he was missing, and they'd be easily trackable.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: She'd have to have an escape plan in place. Option two,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: even less palatable, was that she found some way to
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: stage an attack and over distraction. The only way this
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: could work was if she happened to find some weapons
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: and whatever she'd need for this distraction. The men and
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: women that had assaulted her left the little room for
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: her to entertain this as a possible reality. They'd been
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: heavily armed and much stronger than her, not to mention
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: the simple fact that they outnumbered her. Option three, and
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: in her mind, the best option, was a combination of
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: these two a distraction plus hopefully a weapon and stealth.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: All of this was underscored by the belief that she had,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: in actuality no chance of success. But those types of
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: thoughts were not conducive to her general health, and carrying
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: on it was unthinkable, so instead she kept going making
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: plans she knew would never come to fruition. She'd use
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: phrases like these to try and jumpstart in an intelligent
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: string of thoughts if I were smart eyed, if I
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: were a resourceful eyed, but nothing would come to fill
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: in the blanks, so she was left feeling unintelligent and
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: not so resourceful. As the sun lowered in the sky,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: her environment remained so unchanged. Tilda glance behind her to
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: make sure that she had in fact put some distance
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: between her and Shawsville, that she wasn't stuck in some
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: sort of time loop, or that maybe she'd actually collapsed
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: miles back and she was hallucinating this right now. But no,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: despite appearances, she had put a significant distance between her
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: and Shawsville, the road was just so flats and her
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: surroundings so similar it looked as if she'd gotten nowhere. Still,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: she could see nothing in front of her as far
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: as she could make out. It had been a long time,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: years since she'd been alone with herself, for so long
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: since her thoughts had been untethered from the little person
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: next to her, and his knees, his questions, his barry.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Being there, it made her realize how much her skin
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: crawled at the thought of herself without him, of having
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: to justify her existence without him, to whom she didn't know.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: It made her realize how little she knew about herself,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: about who and what she was, not that she hadn't
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: had plenty tea of chances for introspection these seven years
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: traveling on a near silent road with Madison, because she
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: certainly had, but it had always been linked to Madison.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: He'd always been there as a safety net when her
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: thoughts started to turn darker even difficult. Now she had
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: no distraction. It was only her and her thoughts and
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: the way that they itched under her skin. Old memories
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: of her parents dredged themselves up, even of friends she
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: had had that she hadn't given a second thought to
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: once she'd given birth to Madison. Tilda wondered if her
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: life had been different if she'd never had Madison. Where
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: she'd be now. Would she be safe with her family?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Would she have had a kid and through the proper channels,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: gotten custody of him or her? The sensation of being
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: incomplete hung over her like an apparition. What kind of
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: person was she? She'd never had a chance to really
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: grow into a whole human being, and Madison had usurped
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: that space before she had the opportunity to build it
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: out herself, and now it was empty, a gaping hole.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: She was a mindless robot. She was nothing but what
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: this world had molded her into, an empty shell given
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: purpose by the child. She'd been without reason and against
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: all odds, granted. Tears were streaming down her face long
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: before she realized it. She didn't bother to wipe them away.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: The hawk flew overhead, and she watched it glide smoothly
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: into the blue sky ahead of her. Madison was immune,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: she thought, suddenly, Madison was immune to HSB five, and
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: that meant he had a chance at a family. Tilda's
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: steps quickened even as the road was bleakly unchanging around her,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: and as far as her eyes could make out, as
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: the sun was setting, Tilda was looking alongside the road
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: for a place to camp for the night. She could
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: just barely make out the skyline of a small city
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: still several miles off in the distance, but she had
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: zero chance of making it there before nightfall. It had
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: been a while since she'd been forced to sleep outdoors,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: and doing so while recovering from injuries in the winter
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: caused dread to infurl in her stomach. She knew with
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: bitter familiarity how low the temperatures dropped at night. Nothing
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: for it, she thought, grimly, searching at the very least
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: for cps of trees or bushes that could provide her
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: some cover. Strokes of vivid pinks and oranges painted the sky,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: the light of soft and dewy gold, the clouds tufts
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: of purple. Annoyed at herself for wasting so much to
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: light by sleeping in, Tilda hobbled off to the left
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: side of the road, past some stripped cars and towards
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: a small gripping of trees near a slowly spinning air turbine,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: which now looked ghostly shadowed by the setting sun. The
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: ground crunched beneath her shoes, the browning grass crisped with
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: frosts and frozen underneath already cold fingers curled around her
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: feet with every step, crawling further and further up her
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: calf as Tilda encroached on the patch of ground she'd
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: be sleeping on this chilly night. She missed music, she thought,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: in that odd stream of consciousness way. Music made situations
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: like this more bearable. A good song could even turn
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: this around into something, if not positive, not entirely negative either.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Tilda glanced up at the wind turbine. It creaked as
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: the blades rotated slowly. Sometimes when she saw things like this,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: even though she'd never known this planet before HSB five,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: she'd never known anything else or what things used to
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: be like, til it got the strangest sense she was
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: on another planet, that Earth was spinning along somewhere, obliviously
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: fine and unaware that there was this entire planet somewhere
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: masquerading as Earth, while the dying population of this imposter
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: planet were none the wiser. How would they ever know?
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: It was one of the odder things she called herself
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: thinking from time to time. She supposed it was comforting
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: in the sense that somewhere humanity was still taking living
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: lives that were more comfortable and safe, but for this theory.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: If it could be called that to be true, it
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: would involve space travel, an even bigger cover up than
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: the one she's already uncovered, and the existence of two
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: habitable earth like planets. No, it didn't hold up to scrutiny.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Tilda set her pack down at the gray, twisted trunk
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: of the tree, farthest from the road she traveled a
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: good distance from the highway. The sun had set. Her
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: breath flogged the air in front of her, and she
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: knelt on. Clipping her sleeping bag and rolling it out,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: she climbed in, propping herself up against the tree. She
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: pulled out her flashlight and switched it on, casting its
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: light on her vicinity, the spotlight roving slowly over dying
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: grass and reddish dirt, the sound of her breathing loud
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: in the night. With fumbling fingers, she located her nearly
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: empty water bottle, the pink killers and muscle relaxans, and
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: some beef jerkey. After she downed the pills and opened
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: the loudly crinkling plastic wrap of her dinner, she switched
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: off the light, wary of drawing unwanted attention to herself,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: not only from any humans passing, but coyotes or wolves.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: She took her time chewing, putting off the moment when
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: she'd have to lay down because she knew she'd lie
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: awake for hours, listening and fear. The silence around her
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: felt heavy, like it wanted to swallow her whole. Biting
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: off another piece of jerky, she looked up at the
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: sky tonight, in inky blue, clear and dotted with bright stars.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: She took them in as she ate, tracing any constellation
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: still faintly contained in her memory and creating new ones. Inevitably,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: her thoughts returned to Madison. He would have story after
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: story for her, detailing the conquests and journeys of the
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: shapes he saw. He'd ask her what she saw and
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: listen attentively as she came up with the tale far
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: less imaginative than his. Tilda recalled the men, saying we
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: found them, which most likely meant that they did recognize
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: her in Madison as the pair the Resistance was looking for, unless,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: of course, she allowed with a shudder, it was the
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: same group Jake and Ellis had hailed from looking for revenge.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: She found it hard to believe they would have owned
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: a tank, and she consoled herself with that, but that
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: meant they knew what Madison was worth, so they'd kidnapped
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: him for the reward or for ransom, or did they
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: know somehow that he had been vaccinated and planned to
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: use his blood to try and mass produce the vaccine
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: and effectively robbed the resistance of its newly won power.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Tilda didn't know, and the not knowing was a breeding
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: ground for the infectious fear rooted to her very existence.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: It was a different shade of fear than she was
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: used to, the dull but constant roar that underpinned every
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: day with Madison by her side. This fear had cress
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: and troughs, sharp and unpredictable, enjoining her to curl in
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: a ball and sob give up, fade away from this
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: life into what one could only hope would be a
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: better one. This fear was cruel. It reduced her to
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: a creature relying on survival instincts, desperate for something to
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: hold at bay the terror screaming for her annihilation, threatening
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: to consume her soul. Tilda started to sing softly, warbly
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: in the night, a song she remembered her parents playing
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: in the living room when they would slow dance together,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: her father dipping his wife, her mother's eyes closed in
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: the intimacy of the moment, twirling and crashing clumsily into
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: each other with much laughter. Their eyes lit up with it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: At first, her voice was tentative and afraid, dropping out
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: on every other note lost in the night, but as
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: she continued, it grew more sure, more confident. She imagined
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: her parents spinning around each other in the living room,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: and her watching, and Madison sitting next to her, a
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: warm body in this cold night, and she gathered strength
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: to stave off the hungry, hungry fear. The song ended,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: but the spell it cast did not. The air around
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: her lighter and fortified. Somehow, all of her problems still
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: waited stalking in the dark, but for now she was untouchable.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Tilda slid down into her sleeping bag, taking care of
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: her tender side, knee, and ankle until she was completely ensconced,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: bringing her pack in with her and sipping the closure
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: up over her head and leaving only a small opening
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: for air. She settled the lumpy pack under her head
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: as a makeshift pillow, The ground unforgiving and uneven under
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: her body, but soon enough she was something close to
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: a warm. The sleeping bag was rated for subsure temperatures,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: she recalled. Her eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Every so
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: often a sound wouldcall some to shoot open and send
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: a jolt of adrenaline pumping through her, and it would
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: take her several minutes of focus listening to calm her
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: racing heart. Soon enough, when the night settled around her,
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Tilda fell asleep. A beam of light pulled her from
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: her slumber after only a few hours. It took her
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: tired brains several seconds to put together that it was
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: still pitch black outside and that the light she was
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: seeing was coming from a slow moving vehicle shining through
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: her sleeping bag. Not one, but several lights, she realized.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Muffled engine sounds reached her years. Tilda held her breath
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: and remained still, willing them to pass, to not notice her.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: The cavalcades slowed as they passed, and Tilda could make
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: out faintful voices. Don't stop, don't stop, she begged her
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: pleas for once granted, the cars continued past on the highway,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: heading in the same direction as she herself. Still not
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: daring to move, she wondered if they were part of
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: the group that had attacked her earlier, and if they
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: were looking for her, or if they were perhaps a
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: part of the now defunct arm or the Resistance. Working
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: cars were hard to come by these days, much less
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: a handful of them, so whoever was operating them most
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: likely would have the backing of an organization with access
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: to resources. Another wave of hopelessness crashed over her. Now
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: she had potentially another sect of people to avoid. She
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: lay awake, still un listening for several hours before she
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: dozed off into an uneasy sleep. That brings us to
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: the end of this entry of our fiction. We are
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: getting close. We're coming in on the end. I promise
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: it's not always going to be as a gram as this,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: That's all I'll say. It's not always going to be
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: this bad. It is funny to me, how often when
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I'm reading these for Christina, like I am really focused
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: on the food you could find. It's always a Granola
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Bard water bottle.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: I mean, with our apocalypse episode, I think about that often,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: about where we're going to find food and water.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, And we jokingly, semi jokingly at least
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: when we have snow in Atlanta, it is like that.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: It's like everybody's clearing everything out.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I called my partner the last time I went to
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: the grocery store, or not the last time, like right
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: after the snow a few days like several days later,
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: like it had been a minute, and I went in
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: and things were empty, and I was concerned to the
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: point that I was like, should we be worried?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Is this the moment? Is this happening? Turns out the
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: truck couldn't get here, but.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Still, well, Also, I know you've had to deal with this.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Atlanta has had a lot of water main breaks lately. Yeah,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: And one time I just happened to be at the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: store when one of them was ongoing. I didn't know
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: it it happened yet, but I saw everybody like getting water,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: and I was just like, I better get some. I
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: don't know why.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Something they're doing it, so I'm gonna do it.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Hey, that's I'm not gonna lie the eggs when eggs
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: work inticipated, I'm like, I might need to get into
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: a large pack because usually I go for the twelve.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Maybe I need the twenty four. Where's that one?
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I had groceries delivered recently, and I had eggs on
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: there and he took a picture and he was like,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: there are no wings. It made me laugh. I can
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: definitely tell I wrote this when I broke my ankle,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: because there's a lot of descriptions of ankle injury and
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: pain there, and also my general struggles with sleep or
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: a pair of Throughout there is a hawk throwback from
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: the very first chapter, the Seeing of the Hawk, and
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: it was a good I was reading it. I was like,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: why did I mention this hawk? And I was like, oh, yeah,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: because that's how it started. And then I am very
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: curious about why I wrote this, what I was thinking
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: about identity in motherhood. My mom actually read the first
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: terminus and she brought it up with me and she
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm kind of it scares me how much
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of what you wrote about and that is
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: sort of coming true.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, yeah, well, but that's what
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: we all tell ourselves anyway, That's what.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: We tell ourselves. That's what we're telling ourselves.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh well, hopefully in this very unfine world, maybe
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: this brought some kind of enjoyment or distraction for you
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: as always, Yes, super producer, Christina, thank you for putting
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: the work into the ease and if you have any
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: suggestions our theories, if you have suggestions for something we
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: can do in the public domain that would be fun,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: that would be that'd be great. We love experimenting. Or
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: if you have any theories about what's going to happen here,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: or I just love hearing from people about it. You
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: can contact us in many ways. You can email us
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: at Hello at stuff Whenever Told You dot com, or
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: stuff via mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: find us on Blue Sky at mom Stuff podcast, or
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok and stuff one Never Told You
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: for us on YouTube. We have tea public store, and
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: we have a book get wherever you get your books.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our superproducer Christina, executive producer Maya,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: and your conturtor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: for listening Stuff Never Told You this prediction of iHeartRadio.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: For more podcast from my Heart Radio, you can check
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: out the heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or where you
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.