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Living with OCD: Hannah Rose on Diagnosis, Coping Tools, and Reclaiming Inner Peace | Eye-Opener Society · Eye Opener Society

• 0:00
  Speaker0: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of The Sound Within.
• 0:05
  Speaker0: My name is Hannah Rose, and today I really wanted to touch on my obsessive-compulsive disorder.
• 0:17
  Speaker0: I tend to find
• 0:20
  Speaker0: myself sharing my
• 0:24
  Speaker0: story about my OCD a lot
• 0:27
  Speaker0: but I don't think
• 0:30
  Speaker0: a lot of people understand what that
• 0:33
  Speaker0: means because typically when people think of obsessive compulsive disorder They
• 0:42
  Speaker0: think of someone who needs to keep everything clean and everything neat and organized,
• 0:51
  Speaker0: maybe alphabetized or color-coordinated.
• 0:56
  Speaker0: And that can look like OCD.
• 1:01
  Speaker0: That's a form of it. But there's so many more layers to this disorder.
• 1:10
  Speaker0: And so that's why I wanted to come on here and shed some light on my personal experience.
• 1:19
  Speaker0: I just got diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder about a year ago,
• 1:29
  Speaker0: and I've been struggling for quite some time,
• 1:34
  Speaker0: but I didn't quite know what it was.
• 1:38
  Speaker0: And it was a very confusing thing for me, because it did progress gradually over time,
• 1:55
  Speaker0: And I also think that certain circumstances may have ignited a reaction out of myself.
• 2:10
  Speaker0: And so for me, my obsessive compulsive disorder really manifests in a lot of different ways.
• 2:19
  Speaker0: My logical brain has a really hard time letting something go and sometimes these
• 2:28
  Speaker0: obsessions can be positive sometimes these obsessions can be negative,
• 2:34
  Speaker0: and when these obsessions are negative which was most of my experience with
• 2:42
  Speaker0: obsessive compulsive disorder,
• 2:44
  Speaker0: I was finding myself in a position where I did not trust myself.
• 2:57
  Speaker0: So I didn't trust others, but I also had a huge issue trusting myself and my own instincts.
• 3:10
  Speaker0: And And so it came to a point where I needed that constant validation over every
• 3:18
  Speaker0: move that I made, every decision that I made.
• 3:24
  Speaker0: And it was painful, it was confusing, and it wasn't only painful for me,
• 3:33
  Speaker0: but it was painful for my loved ones as well, for the people that had to watch me experience this.
• 3:46
  Speaker0: And a lot of times it invoked panic within me,
• 3:52
  Speaker0: because something would happen and I would immediately panic because my brain
• 4:04
  Speaker0: was trying to give me all of these different scenarios,
• 4:12
  Speaker0: of what would happen or what could happen or what did happen.
• 4:18
  Speaker0: And so I was not grounded at all.
• 4:25
  Speaker0: And a lot of my experience has to do with food.
• 4:34
  Speaker0: And so I have a huge battle every day with myself.
• 4:45
  Speaker0: That battle has gotten easier over time, but I still battle with myself.
• 4:52
  Speaker0: But I have found a
• 4:55
  Speaker0: way to take the best option of whatever it is that I am stressing about and
• 5:09
  Speaker0: believing that the better option is true.
• 5:17
  Speaker0: That has helped me a lot because it
• 5:21
  Speaker0: allows me to quiet that loud voice in my head that is telling me that something
• 5:29
  Speaker0: is wrong or that feeling in my stomach
• 5:34
  Speaker0: that something isn't quite right or something bad is going to happen.
• 5:42
  Speaker0: And that feeling, the way that I can explain it is a feeling of dread.
• 5:48
  Speaker0: Sometimes I don't know what I'm dreading or what I'm even worrying about.
• 5:55
  Speaker0: But my obsessive-compulsive disorder is trying to latch on to something to obsess
• 6:02
  Speaker0: over, even when nothing is there to stress over.
• 6:06
  Speaker0: There's nothing to worry about, but my brain is so skewed that it is trying to control me.
• 6:22
  Speaker0: And it's trying to control me through fear and doubt and dread and anger and resentment.
• 6:34
  Speaker0: But if I really look within, I know that I hold all of the power.
• 6:43
  Speaker0: My obsessive-compulsive disorder is just that. It's a disorder.
• 6:47
  Speaker0: It is a chemical imbalance in my brain.
• 6:53
  Speaker0: And so if I can look at it that way And see that it is just a imbalance And it's not who I am.
• 7:06
  Speaker0: I can really come home to myself through that perspective and through that way of thinking.
• 7:15
  Speaker0: But for a long time, I wasn't able to do that.
• 7:22
  Speaker0: And sometimes I would share with people my experience.
• 7:28
  Speaker0: And they would say, oh, I have OCD too. I need all of my clothes color-coordinated,
• 7:39
  Speaker0: or I can't stand when a book is crooked on the shelf.
• 7:48
  Speaker0: And yes, I'm a bit obsessive in that way I like for things to be even I like
• 7:54
  Speaker0: for things to be perfect I don't want things to have flaws but that's just really the,
• 8:04
  Speaker0: cherry on top of the cake or the icing on top of the cake whatever saying really
• 8:12
  Speaker0: fits what I'm trying to deliver,
• 8:16
  Speaker0: because there's so many different layers to obsessive-compulsive disorder. And.
• 8:28
  Speaker0: With that being said, I just want to shed some light on what that can look like
• 8:37
  Speaker0: and how it can manifest in different ways.
• 8:42
  Speaker0: And I just want to let you know, if you are listening to this,
• 8:49
  Speaker0: that you are so much more powerful than your demons.
• 9:00
  Speaker0: And you are not alone.
• 9:04
  Speaker0: There are so many people in this world that struggle.
• 9:10
  Speaker0: It may not even be with OCD. It may be with other issues.
• 9:23
  Speaker0: But you always have,
• 9:30
  Speaker0: a lot of space in your body to move that stuck energy.
• 9:36
  Speaker0: So when I realized that by discovering intentional breath,
• 9:43
  Speaker0: I was able to incorporate that into my daily life.
• 9:50
  Speaker0: Not only when I was feeling panicked and overwhelmed and like that voice was
• 9:55
  Speaker0: too loud, but also when things are great, and I'm really happy,
• 10:01
  Speaker0: and I'm really grateful.
• 10:04
  Speaker0: And so what that does is it allows me to tap into a meditative space that,
• 10:15
  Speaker0: has no fears and has no doubts. We're just here and now. Here, now, breath.
• 10:28
  Speaker0: And so, I believe my message was delivered.
• 10:36
  Speaker0: I don't really have much else to say about the issue.
• 10:42
  Speaker0: But I do thank you for listening to this episode.
• 10:47
  Speaker0: And just know, you're not alone. And just because you feel like everyone else
• 10:55
  Speaker0: in the world is normal, and maybe you're thinking, why can't I be a normal person?
• 11:01
  Speaker0: There's no such thing as normal.
• 11:04
  Speaker0: You are unique. You are powerful.
• 11:10
  Speaker0: And whatever chemical imbalance you do have within your brain is simply just your superpower.
• 11:18
  Speaker0: Switch the perspective. This isn't something that is beating you down into the ground.
• 11:25
  Speaker0: This is something that is rising you up so that you can shine you are a limitless being.
• 11:45
  Speaker0: So do not let,
• 11:50
  Speaker0: circumstance control you,
• 11:55
  Speaker0: and control your path.
• 11:59
  Speaker0: All it's trying to do is dim your light, but you're not going to allow that to happen,
• 12:06
  Speaker0: because you hold so much power.
• 12:12
  Speaker0: Thank you for listening, and tune in to Eye Opener Society for more awesome and raw content.
• 12:22
  Speaker0: And another episode next week of The Sound Within.