Latest / The Breakfast Club / Best Of Full Interview: Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More

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Best Of Full Interview: Devi Brown Taps Into Spiritual Practices, Mindfulness, Healthy Boundaries, Self Acceptance + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody's DJ Envy Angela, Yee, Charlomagne the guy.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: We are the breakfast club. We got a special guest
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: in the ballot. That's right, this divine being having a
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: human experience. Master, well being, educator, don't to keep going. Oh.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: She has many teaching certifications. She has many teaching certifications
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: including meditation, breath work in the child, healing, and spiritual psychology.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: She's an energy healer. She hosting leads many spiritual spiritual
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: retreats a year. She teaches in God's Deli Meditations on
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the Choper app. She advises on well being. A teachers
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: mindfulness for several corporations. She's an author of a book
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: called Crystal Bliss, and she hosts a podcast on the
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Black Podcast Network called Dropping Gems. It's my good sister.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: And she has a four year old that is taller
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: than Charlamagne. That is a fact. Wie, that's my god son.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the quest is a big little boy.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: That is a fact. Yes, welcome, good morning, Good morning.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: How are you, Debbie.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I'm incredible, I feel incredible. Okay, this moment in time
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: is a lot, but it's also there's magic in it
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: for all of us.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: What makes you feel so incredible?
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: You know, I think I'm excited about where we all
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: get to be in our lives in this moment, Like
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: this is the first time ever in human history that
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: we've all been able to become higher versions of ourselves,
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: like so many at a time. We all have more resources,
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: more support for mental health, more support for emotional health.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: So it's like even when I get to see friends
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen in a while, like, I feel like
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: we get to meet each other at new levels. You know,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: we get to have deeper conversations with the people that
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: we love. We get to be, you know, just set
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: our boundaries, be ourselves.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: People say, what are you talking about?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Debbie does multi pox?
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: There is COVID and we're in a recession, interest rates
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: at at all time high, but you still find the
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: positive out of it, you know what it?
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Life is both the human experience. We're always oscillating between
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: these two ends of the spectrum, joy and grief. And
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: I think that, you know, the viewpoint I have of it,
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: and something I really had to come into in the
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: pandemic was the moments that feel like joy, I have
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: to let myself feel all of it. You know, I
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: want every inch of delight when it's present, because life
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: is hard, life is challenging. Like we walk to the
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: table with so many things that we've experienced that no
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: one knows about, and then we're alive right now with
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: you know, it is what it is, all the things happening.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: So when I get a chance to be with people
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I love, when I get a chance to do anything
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: that sparks in my spirit, I try to feel every
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: single piece of it.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: There are times when people feel guilty too, because they
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: may be experiencing a lot of positivity, but there's so
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: much going on around you that you don't feel like
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: you can even celebrate that.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, and I think it's important to because that's
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: that's what allows us to sustain. Like, I think the
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: thing we've all gotten so wrong about the human experience
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: is like everyone thinks that the goal is always supreme
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: happiness and that if it's not that, then those are
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: the periods of your life you don't really sit with
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: or look at or talk about. But we need the grief,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: we need the pain just as much as we need
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: everything else. So you know, even in the midst of
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: the moment in time we're having now where everything is
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: crazy and it's been crazy, you know, it's I wake
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: up every day and I'm just like, but how can
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I fuel my fire? How can I keep that internal
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: oven inside of me just constantly going for myself, from
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: my life, from my child.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Can we go back to to like almost the beginning, right,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: because when you think of you know, deVie dev A
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: lot of us probably know deVie Dad from radio. You know,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: we started, Debbie Dev. I met you at kDa in
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: La in like seven, and you know you on Sway Show.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: But it's like you've always been this spiritually connected person
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: when you when do you like first remember that like
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: connection to a higher power? You know.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I think so many things play into that. I think
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: by nature, I'm an only child raised by a single parent,
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  Speaker 3: which is a certain kind of experience that kind of
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: keeps you in your head a lot. So I think
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: that was a piece of it. But I've always just
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: been fascinated by transformation of any kind. Like I was
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: definitely reading self help books as a little girl. I
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: was just so interested in what made people themselves but
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: also what kept people from becoming themselves.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Now, one time you decided to give this all up, right, Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: you would. You were very successful doing radio. You were
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: in Houston, they were talking about syndication, you were talking
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: about moving back to la and then you said.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: You were one of the best radio personality in the country.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's still one of the best personalities period,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: but you were on the radio as one of the
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: best personalities in the country.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: And then you said, I'm done with this. Well what
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: made you say, you know what, I don't want to
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: do this anymore?
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: What?
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: What?
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: What was they.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Need? You know, it was a couple of things. I
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: think the amazing thing about the show that y'all do
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: is you guys have established something so rare and different
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: than has ever been I think in broadcasting, and you
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: guys get to show up as your full selves at work.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: You get to have the conversations that matter to you.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Where I was when I was doing radio that had
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: started becoming so closed off. You know, at one point
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: when I was working in radio, I was able to
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: have meaningful conversations like I went viral with Kanye, went
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: viral with Kendrick talking about mental health. And then you know,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: the powers that be they just say talk less talk less,
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: you know, where I used to have a talk break
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: where I could really connect it, like do that in
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: eleven seconds, but say the whole liner, you know. And
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: it's just I just felt like I wasn't able to
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: use this gift of communication at the level that God
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: really commanded of me, at the level that felt fulfilling
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: to me. And so I knew that I needed to
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: find I wanted to have different conversations, and I think
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: you know, when I left radio, that was like twenty sixteen,
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: twenty seventeen, so the kind of conversations I was having
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: weren't really popular at the time. Like I wanted to
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: kind of talk about some of the darker stuff. I
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: wanted to talk about some of the more complex, complicated,
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: complex things, and I just kind of do that on
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: the terrestrial radio. I was at like I remember one
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: of my bosses at the time was like, I want
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: you to start doing a segment about groupies where you
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: take callers and ask them what celebrities they slept with Jesus.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: And I was like, sir, do you know me at all?
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Like I was like, well, I can't do that, so
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: let me let me find my place, and you know,
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I wanted to have more adventure. Like I At that point,
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I knew spirituality was the leading leading journey amission from
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: my life, and so I just said, I have to
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: invest everything about myself to that.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: And let me ask you this. You did say back then,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: those conversations weren't as popular as they are now. And
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: definitely now I feel like people are having those conversations
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: about spirituality about mental health a lot more. But there's
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: so many different conflicting things, so much information out there,
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: so many people that you're like, Okay, who do I
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: listen to? Who do I trust? Who do I believe? Right?
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: So how do people manage to kind of filter through
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: all of that noise?
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Ooh, that is so good because it is like the
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: wild West out here, Like it really is, like you know,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I think everybody should vet everyone that they talk to.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: And I think what's really important is there is this
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: kind of split between people that are enthusiasts and are
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: sharing processes that maybe worked really well for their individual lives.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: But we all have complex lives. We all have so
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: many experiences that made us us. So I think it's
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: just really important to connect with people that are deeply
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: studied that are experts in this space, you know, work
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: with people who have embodied what they're saying, not just
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: sharing maybe the tips and tricks or not just you know,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: saying the things of like I've read this book and
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: it said this, but who has been applying it to
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: their life in a way that it's transformed them and
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: this is their way of being? Those are always the
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: people I'm like kind of guide more in that direction.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: And I believe in a holistic view. I think if
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: you know, for anybody listening that feels called to a
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: healing journey or any kind of like internal exploration, you
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: have to do it for mind, body, and spirit. You know,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: therapy is incredible and it's one of the foundational steps,
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: but you also need everything else. You need body practice,
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: you need something that really feeds and grows and builds
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: your spirit. Like, we can't just do one thing. It
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: has to be an integrated approach to have real transformation.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Can we expand on that? I remember you telling me
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: that you know years ago us this like in the
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: therapy is great, and I'm glad you're in therapy, but
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: you need more and just therapy to transform your life. Like,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: what exactly does that look?
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Like, so even with therapy, there's so many different kinds
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: of therapy, and I think a lot of people, especially now,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: because we're just so new to all of this, everyone
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: goes to cognitive therapy, which is kind of like the
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: standard talk therapy. For some people, that is actually not
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: the best option. Depending on what you are coming to
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: the table with, potentially what kind of traumas or experiences
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: you've had, you may need somatic therapy, you may need DBT,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: you may need all these different styles. And so that's
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: why I say, like, also get creative with it. When
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: you're on your journey and you start to feel maybe
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: a little stuck, something isn't working, start exploring, start googling,
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: start asking more questions. But the piece about therapy is
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: it keeps you in your head. It helps you understand
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: yourself and the things that have happened, and it gives
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: you the language to talk about it. But it doesn't
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: always give you the opportunity to live this new knowing.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: At that that point, it can be really powerful to
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: invite in like spiritual practice or a self care practice,
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: so that you are applying acceptance to yourself, You're applying
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: loving to yourself. You know, It's one thing to know everything,
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: but to know everything and still love yourself, to know
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: everything and come into compassion for the people that have
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: harmed you. It takes many different processes.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: And you know, you're a master well being educator. You
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: have you know a lot of certification. What does that
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: look like too for people who will be like, oh,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: how do I know she just didn't read a book. Yeah,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: like you actually invested in yourself with this.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've read a lot of books
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: and I've done a lot of process on myself. This
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: is also you know, probably fifteen years of therapy on myself,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: a lot of working with healing practitioners all over the world.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I dedicated really the last ten years of
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: my life. Even while I was still in radio, I
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: was also enrolled in different programs and just amassing my knowledge.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: You know. My thing was an And I really encourage
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: anybody listening for whatever field you're in. If you're called
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: to something, if you know it's something that you know,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: not just in the way we used to say it,
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: like you do it if it was for free, No,
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: if it's something that you're curious about, like you're always
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: thinking about it, you're always trying to find different facets
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: of it, invest in yourself. You know, I knew this
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: was my path. I knew I was called to help
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: people heal, to help alleviate internal suffering. And I didn't
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: want to just do it from a place of like
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: motivation and positivity. I wanted to really know what is
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: the deep process of transformation? And also what are all
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: the things that people are facing? You know, what are
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: things that keep what are the barriers that are in
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: place for different kinds of people that keep them from healing?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: And what books helps you?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: What helped you on your journey?
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: God, so many things, so many books. I think one
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: of the books that I love and I speak to
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: this book a lot. But it's simple, it's short, but
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: it is powerful and can used on it daily basis
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: What I love about that book is it really expands
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: your understanding of what life could be like if you
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: really come into a place of surrender of trust that
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: everything that was unfolding is ultimately for your highest good,
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: even the things that may not have received your consent,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: even the things that still feel like an open wound,
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: coming into acceptance of that, and then really alchemizing all
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: that life has given you to transform, to create, to
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: have new possibilities. That book really gave me, like the
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: zoomed out expanded view of what could.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Be essentially bought up. Deepakchopra, I want to talk about
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: your prime Shewed sessions. Yes, yeah, Draymond Green on now
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: in particular, So you're talking about just the mental well
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: being and so being able to focus right with Jraymond Green,
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Why in particular do you think athletes need to focus
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: on something like this and how do you think it
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: helped them?
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Gosh, I think it's so important. First, like Religion of
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: sports came up with this phenomenal content concept. This is
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: their beautiful body of work. They tell really powerful stories,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: and it was myself and it was Deepak and we
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: were in this really beautiful process with Draymond. What I
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: think is so important about that not just from the
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: athletic lens, but from the masculinity lens, Like I think
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: this is really a moment of divine masculinity, of men's
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: transformative healing, of men's kind of awakening, and so the
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: opportunity to kind of work with someone who already has
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: such ingrained dedication, discipline, knowledge of their body, knowledge of themselves.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I thought was a really amazing experience because then we
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: just got to go in and kind of chisel a
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: little bit, you know, kind of fun intune the process.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: How receptive was he to this at first?
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: So receptive, like so receptive he came in and it
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: was it was just a joy and a privilege to
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: work with Draymond because he is so smart, so self
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: aware already. And he came in saying and if you
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: watch the show, Deepak asked him, you know, where are
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: you at on an emotional level from you know, one
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: to ten? And I think he said he was a four.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: And then Deepak said, well, then you're suffering, you know,
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: And we don't always look at that when everything else
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: is amazing in our lives, or if you're super successful,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: got all of this, you know, acclaim opportunity that piece.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: You know, we often just say like, oh yeah, I
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: feel it there. It's like a little seed in the
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: pit of my stomach or sometimes in my heart, but eh,
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I'll pad everything else around it. And you know, he
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: came into the experience like, Okay, how does this work?
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: Tell me x Y and Z and then by you know,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: by the later part of our sessions when we were meeting,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: he was like, Okay, so I've read this book. I've
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: read this book. I've read this book. I understand it
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: like this, and he was just really ready to feel
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: things that maybe he hadn't felt before.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, I want to get back to the sessions on Amazon,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: but I want to talk about the connection with Deepok,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: because I call you Tupac Chopra, right, and so to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: see you and Deepak actually working together now was like
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: surreal in a lot of ways. How did that connection happen?
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Oh my god? Surreal? So godly. You always got to
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: listen to the whispers of God, you know. I feel
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: like when you can really get into a space of
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: following the flow of where life wants to lead you
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: and not where you're trying to make it go, miracles happen.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: And so you know, with Deepak, I was absolutely a
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: student of his work and just I was so transformed.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Deepak has written over ninety books in his lifetime, Like
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: his depth of knowledge is so massive. So it really
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: started where I was burned out. I was working in radio,
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Like we talked about in my twenties and I ended
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: up getting shingles, which is highly painful for anybody that's
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: had it, but it's also specifically something you don't get
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: to like your seventies and your eighties. I had it
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: in my twenties, and I was like, this life isn't sustainable,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: like clearly for people.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: That don't know if I'm not, I heard of it,
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: but I don't know what it is.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: So shingles is a virus that lays dormant in your
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: body after you have the chicken pox, and it's typically
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: something that doesn't manifest until you are in your elderly years,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: but it can be brought forward with a lot of stress,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: and it is very painful. It often presents as like
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: a big rash somewhere for a length of time, and
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: no medicine alleviates the pain. For me, it felt like
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: there was a frozen ice pick stabbing you in your nerve,
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: really painful. And so this was like, you know, ten
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: years ago, and I went online and I just typed
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: in like detox, help retreat something, and the first thing
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: that popped up was a photo of Deepak and it
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: was for his health center. And so I ended up
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: going on a ten day detox retreat and it changed
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: everything about my life. And I ended up doing so
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: many of the programs that Choprah offered, which eventually led
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: me to do their teacher training program and get certified
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: in meditation. And so our relationship was really just growing
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: and building. And when Chopra Global launched about two years ago,
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I ended up coming on board as their Chief Impact
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Officer and meeting some of their initiatives.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Was that pressure?
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: What does that mean?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Was it pressure? Did you feel pressure once you were
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: in that position?
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: No? I felt so aligned.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: For me.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: It was just it was just the deepest acknowledgment that
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: my path was what I was envisioning, that I was
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: exactly where I was supposed to be. So I think
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: I really trust myself. I trust my life, I trust myself,
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I trust my expertise. So I felt like it was
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: divine alignment.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: I applied these skills to your life. How have you
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: been handling things differently than you used to when you
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: were younger?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Ooh, everything, you know? I think for me boundaries like
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: really just understanding myself and understanding that you know, this
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: is my movie. I'm the star of my movie. I'm
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: a supporting character in a lot of people's movies. I'm
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: a supporting character in your movie, you're a supporting character
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: in mine. But I have to make myself in my
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: life a priority. And to do that, you really cannot
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: care what people think. You cannot allow other people's projections
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: to change how you think about yourself or make you
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: bend or contort in any way. And I think that
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: that was one of the biggest things. It's like, just
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: by being alive, we're constantly comparing. It starts in our
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: childhood with our parents, with the kids in school, but
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: especially as adults, especially if you work in the entertainment industry.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Especially with social media.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, especially with social media, like it's impossible
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: not to and so just really kind of zooming out
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: of that matrix and just saying like, I can't care
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: what anybody else thinks. I have to trust that my
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: path in my life is mine.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Oh that's one way to create a healthy boundary, And
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: what are some other ways to create healthy boundaries?
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: So healthy boundaries, the first part is you have to
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: become really aware of yourself and who you are. I
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: think a lot of this boundary conversation tends to tilt
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: into using boundaries as more of a wall, a wall
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: of protection, a barrier against other people, and also a
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: judgment of other people. When I hear people talk about boundaries,
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: even on social media, I think we have to really
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: upgrade our understanding of why we don't have them to
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: begin with. You know, it's like everyone's like, no, I'm
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: gonna have boundaries, and you know, and anybody that doesn't
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: have my boundaries like you're cut out of my life.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: And people don't want to respect your boundaries, and there's
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: such this like harsh judgmental view no one does until
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: you got them. And the thing is, the people in
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: our lives that are trying to climb over them don't
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: understand what they are either, which is why they don't
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: even apply them to their own selves. So I think
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: on the journey of finding boundaries of coming into self awareness,
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: as often as it's possible, we always have to try
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: to steep it in overall compassion and non judgment. A
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: lot of us are doing things for the very first time,
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: a lot of us have just heard about boundaries for
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: the very first time. And very often if you don't
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: have boundaries already, it's because different things happened in your
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: life that led you to kind of disregard yourself in
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: certain ways or not think that you had the right
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: or the worth to choose yourself first. So it's all
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: the process, and we just have to go slow and gently.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: So question, are you we born with boundaries and then
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: they get toyed down at some point we never have
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: them and we have to learn how to build them.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: So there's a multitude of reasons. But I think one
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: of the reasons that I most often and work with
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: and see in our childhood certain things have to happen
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: for us to become the best version of our adult self.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: There has to be certain kinds of role modeling in
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: place of behavior. There has to be role modeling of care,
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: of understanding, of listening of language. If we have experienced
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: certain emotional neglect, which millions of people do, even if
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: your parents don't want to or don't know that they're
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: doing it. If you're experiencing any kind of emotional neglect
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: or traumas big t or Little Tea, it affects the
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: way your core identity is established. Your core identity is
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: established in childhood, that is the peace of you, that
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: isn't the roles you play, but it's the piece of
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: you that thinks that you're worthy, that thinks that you
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: have rights, that knows that your emotional life matters. If
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: you're not given that opportunity to grow that in a
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: safe way, you don't know how to set boundaries because
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: you don't under understand yourself your own needs, You don't
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: understand what you require.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: And sometimes things bad happen to you or people burn you,
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: and then you're like, okay, moving forward. This is how
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: I have to move.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, And I think when that stuff happens in our
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: adult life, even still, it usually comes down to an
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: original wound that happened in childhood. There was something in
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: the dynamic with the child and the caregiver or whatever
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: adults may have been present, where their needs were not
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: looked at, and you maybe had to please the person
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: that was caretaking for you to get what you needed.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: And so then in your adult life you find yourself
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: repeating those patterns in so many different ways, and friendships
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: and relationships and the jobs that you choose, and the
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: way that your dynamic with your boss and your coworkers
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: is like it permeates everything about your life. There is
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: nothing more important than childhood.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Now when you talk about you know, everybody has their
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: own journey, right, yeah, and you have family, your friends,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: your man, and your child. So you base your circle
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: now because there's going to be some people that are
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: into the things that you're into, some people that don't
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: care about it, some people that don't believe. So how
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: do you keep your circle? Do you keep those people
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: that are not in your circle? Or do you set
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: up those boundaries? But it's like, all right, well, if
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: you're not believed, I'll wait for you to be a
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: believer to be in a circle. So how do you
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: go about your your normal day?
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I don't think people have to be believers. Like, I'm
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: not looking to convince anyone, And I'm okay if we
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: are not aligned in our beliefs, but.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: I would be a friend with somebody like you know,
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Charlemagne goes outside likes the hug wood.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Right if he wasn't a tree sir? Sorry, okay, if.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: He wasn't a wood hugger, right, could you explain We
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: can explain that if he wasn't a wood hugger, he
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: loves but if he wasn't that way, could you be
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: around him as much? If he wasn't as grounded as
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: he was, or if he wasn't doing the work on himself,
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: could you still have him in your circle like that?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Or you know, the.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Structure of our relationship would have to change. I want
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: to be in judgment about him, like I want to
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: judge a person, because we're living different lives. However, I
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: have to prioritize what is actually nurturing my own life
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: and my own growth. And so I think first I
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: would say this, all of us hold on to too
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: many people for too long. That is what I feel.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: A lot of it comes because of social media. It's
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: this natural Oh we kind of had a click, I'm
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: gonna follow you, I'm gonna follow you back. Now we're
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: plugged into knowing the nuance of every person we've ever
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: met life forever. There's not really the room for that,
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: you know. So I think the way that I look
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: at my life is I'm a very very open person.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: I love connecting with people. But when I look at
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: how my life is actually built, it's not sustainable for
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: me to have active relationship with a lot of people.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: And so over the last two years, like I've massivily
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: shed in my life and Some of them were highly intentional,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: like friendships that were misaligned because of character, because of integrity,
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: because of choices, and there had to be hard conversations.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Some of those hard conversations turned into re establishing the friendship,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: like we were able to get to new ground and rebuild.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Some of them were more of an awkward heartsh goodbye,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: and many others were really just let nature do his thing.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: And how are those conversations? Like, So, let's say there's
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: somebody in your click you need to have a conversation. Yeah,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: because they're not following the same journey that you're following.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: You just don't want them around you, honestly, So how
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: do you have those conversations?
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: So if you're me, you just have them. I don't
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: have a lot of fear around any of that because
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: I think I love myself, I love my life. I
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: feel aligned, and so I'm not taking other people's misdirected
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: emotions personally. So if someone is upset in our conversation,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: that's not going to rock me, and I'm most not
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: going to take on a lot of guilt about it.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: I trust that my choices are made in integrity. But
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: you know, you have to be direct, but you also
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: have to know yourself to be direct in a way
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: that it's actually healing and beneficial, not you know when
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: people use that term brutally honest or I keep it real.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: Real is relative. You're real is based on your life experience,
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: and it could be completely fraudulent to someone else based
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: on how they recognize real. So I think there has
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: to be a certain amount of self awareness in yourself
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: before you have that conversation. And it's important to come
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: into a space, if possible, of more neutrality so that
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: you can walk away from something with lasting peace.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: As a friend, right, and because I'm sure to people listening.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: So as a friend, let's say Nick, the camera guy,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: let's say do you guide him first of what you
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: think of being a friend? Like, Hey, Nick, I think
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: that you're doing this too much. I think you need
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: to fall back and look at this or it's one
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: of those things like, Bro, you're not going in my direction.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: I gotta go yeah, because it can be two preach
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: great question.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: But you know, as somebody who's done the work, who's
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: read numerous books, who's you know, done what you're supposed
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: to do, how do you do that? As you know
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: with the friend.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: So what I did for myself was when I started
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: noticing that some friendships felt misaligned or non reciprocal in
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: the ways that were important to me, I just made
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: a mental note and I told myself that I was
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: going to slowly observe it. So you could do that
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: in a way of saying I'm going to give somebody
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: three strikes or three chances. But I just started slowly
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: observing and still interacting with the person. How the flow
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: of our relationship was, how often did we talk, were
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: they able to show up for me? Was I showing
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: up for them? Did it feel reciprocal? And I just
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: watched it over the course of a year. Like I
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: knew I was called to kind of radically shift and
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: make space in my life, and I gave myself really
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: a year to do it. So I started just observing
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: people from a far noticing things, keeping mental notes, and
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: then I really prayed about it. I said prayers, I
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: set intentions around it lead me to the aligned friendships
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: and partnerships allow me to remove with ease any friendships
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: or connections that are not serving or misaligned. You know,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I think it is important to bring God into all
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: of it. I think it's important to bring just a
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: higher energy into all of it. Once that was done
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: and I started really saying, okay, yeah, that's not a fit.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: I just called people up directly and I was like, Hey,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: I want to talk to you about our friendship. I
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: want to talk about our relationship. And I said, I
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: just want to let you know I don't have a
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: lot of judgment around you or this, but I need
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: to share how I'm feeling. I usually had supporting examples
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: of you know, this experience happened, this is the way
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: it made me feel. What are your thoughts on that.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: We went back and forth a little bit about it.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Some people in my life said, thank you so much
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: for telling me this. I felt something changing between us.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: I never saw that. I didn't even notice I was
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: doing that, but you're absolutely right. I'm sorry. We were
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: able to rebuild some people. It's just like, okay, all right,
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: what all right for? Show? You know or f you like? Okay,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: but da da da da da da da. So I
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: think walking into setting boundaries, walking into shedding people, you
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: have to also walk in with the confidence of it's
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: okay if I lose them, it's okay if they don't understand.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: And it's also okay if they blame me. None of
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: that has anything to do with me.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: You know. It's like the word ease is a very
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: powerful word because you know, you know, you know, I
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: thank God for you daily. I tell you this all
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the time. But it's just like our relationship, It's never
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: been a time we didn't share information. It's never been
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: a time we didn't have, you know, deep conversation. It's
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: just like things evolved and went from Yo, Charlottage listening
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: to this nipsey hustle bullets ain't got no name, or
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: arguing about Kendrick Lamar, you know what I mean to
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: read deep October seven spirituals like it just seemed effortless
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: the whole time. Yeah, And is that what you should
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: look for?
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: I guess absolutely. And I love us as a case
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: study of that because we've been friends for now like
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: fifteen years, and we've seen each other at so many
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: junctures of the journey. But what we always had was
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: non judgment. We always had an openness, We always had
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: an ability to talk things through. And I think you
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: don't want to just hold on to people because of
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: a length of time or this like false sense of loyalty,
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: which no one actually has a real definition for that word,
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: like it changes with everyone. If you look up the
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: definition of loyalty, it just means in affinity. For I'm
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: fond of I like, you have to really look at, like,
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: what is kind of doing life with a friend? Can
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: there be more grace for that? Can there be more ease?
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Can we go six months without talking because we're both
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: in a different place and then come back together? I
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: think we would be allowed to. But yeah, being able
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: to kind of just evolve as equals at every step
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: is what I look for in friendship. And I'm also
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: okay with things not having to be that deep. There's
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: some people in my life I trust them to be
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: themselves and I show up as myself and I give
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: them what they can handle of me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: Now, how does people's mental health affect their physical health?
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: You don't pray for you don't pray about me every day?
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: You don't.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: I was like, what is envy thinking over there?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I do thank God for you, you, thank God for
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: this whole situation. This situation changed our life.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: We're openness with deep. I just want to know why
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: you never told.
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: Me that he like, I hear you don't say it, envy,
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: let me see what the blood is.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I hear womb talking.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: I was asking about mental health affecting people's physical health too,
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: because I feel like that's a theme as well when
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: it comes to athletes, but the everyday person.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, all of us, and now, thank god,
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: there's so much science and studies coming out to back
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: it up. There's phenomenal books on this. The Body keeps
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: the Score as an amazing book. Resma Meenican my grandmother's saying,
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: trauma is stored absolutely in the body. Our experiences don't
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: leave us. And that's why, you know, when we were
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: talking about kind of that approach to really heal, you
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: have to bring your body into it. So you have
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: to have different practices and processes that allow you to
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: love on your body, to kind of push out of
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: your cells, out of your skin, your experiences. So I
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: think even you know, if someone's in like a cognitive
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: therapy and maybe not ready for some of the other stuff,
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: I always say, book a massage appointment for after your
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: therapy appointment, and then think about the awarenesses that came
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: in as you're getting the massage, think about things you
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: want to release as you're getting the massage, or you
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: could do self massage, self stretching at home, because the
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: trauma absolutely stays with us. And I think we've seen
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: in our communities so many diseases, you know, so many
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: different things manifesting that it's just like, how is this possible?
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: It can't just be died, it can't just be this
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: like there is a there is a grief present that
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: is bringing on this sickness in people's bodies. And I
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: think it's just that's why we have to do that
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: kind of holistic approach. That was a massive part of
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: my journey. I was in therapy for many, many years,
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: and I understood a lot, but not much was actively changing.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: And then when I came in and I started seeing
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: a somatic therapist, I started doing somatic processes that really
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: helped me to understand my body's reactions to every moment.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: That's when I became really empowered. You could feel your
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: triggers in real time, but then also soothe them in
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: real time because on this healing journey, no matter what
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: you do, we're still on earth, We're still in this
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: crazy environment. Very often the people near us are not
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: changing in the ways that we are. So it's just
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: so so so incredibly important that we honor ourselves, that
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: we honor our bodies, that we come into a space
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: of being able to, you know, ideally get through our wounds,
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: our triggers faster. We're not just looking for happiness. I'm
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: I'm in my wholeness. I'm in my sovereignty. I am
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: deep in mastery on many different parts and also learning
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: in other pieces of myself. But you know, I look
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: at happiness for me, isn't the goal. The goal for
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: me is the fact that something that used to hurt me,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: that I may ruminate over for a week, for a month,
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: that may make me feel sick to my stomach about myself.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Now if I think about it, it's two seconds I
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: felt it. Oh yeah, because that did happen to me.
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: I accept that and I release it and I move
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: into the next moment. So I think that's that's really
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: the goal for healing.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Let's stay of Let's second real quick, because I want
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: to know why is self care vital for black and
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: brown bodies. But I also want you to talk about
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: the energy healing you do. Like I mean, you know,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: people saw a glimpse of you doing it the Draymond
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: on the Sessions we talk about that.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that was my favorite part of doing
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: the show. We were in like the Redwoods. We were
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: in this forest in the bay and I got to
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: do reiki energy work on him. Energy work is incredible.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: It has changed my life. I think that I think
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: that our communities should be empowered with becoming facilitators of reiki,
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: of chakra healing, of energy work, and I think that
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: we should be using it on ourselves and in our
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: families daily. But energy work works with the energetic bodies.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: So there is this field around you that is unseen
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: to the naked eye, but that is kind of the
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: energy that protects you that also magnetizes things to you
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: that can also be injured by different emotional wounds. And
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: energy is an ancient sacred practice, specifically reiki, where you
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: use your energy and you work with the person's energy
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: feel to bring healing into their environment. So it is
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: believed that this helps to heal and alleviate physical wounds,
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: mental wounds, emotional wounds, and it's also something that just
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: really allows you to feel enlivened, that gives you access
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: to the feeling of present moment, of groundedness, of peace
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: inside of your body. And I've done energy work on
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: you too.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: It feels like a spiritual massage, like you could literally
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: feel things being removed from you as the energy, the
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: energy work is being done. Like you get up feeling
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: light like damn, what was on me? You know? Yeah,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: that's how That's how I felt.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, as mama bear right, if a
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: four year old, how do you raise him? Because you know,
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: you've been in the world. You know what's good, what's bad,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: what's negative, what's positive? So you know, how do you
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: raise him? Do you put him in school? Do you
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: put him around of the kids whose maybe parents are
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: not on the align with what you what you do,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: maybe not on the same journey. You know, even though
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: you might not give him social media, you know, his
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: friend might have it, or his friend might get things
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: from house. So how do you raise your four year old?
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: Oh? My god, that question is so hard. It's hard.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: So you thought about it, God, not every day all day.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: It's hard. You know. I think about my child every second,
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: so many things envy, you know, I feel like we're
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: all kind of on this journey of doing a lot
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: of lineage healing. We're bringing forward for our kids, maybe
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: things that never existed in our family systems. Ever, because
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: you think about the impact of slavery, you think about
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: the impact of all of the structural and societal oppression
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: that has existed since, and in black and brown communities,
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: there has always been a wounding in the parent child
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: relationship to some degree. You have your outliers, you have
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: those you know, one in a neighborhood, healthy family sometimes
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: and then everyone else. It's like you just see this
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: lack of emotional regulation, lack of ability to be your
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: authentic self so much fear so for me knowing that
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: I can't control the world and also feeling the daily
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: grief of that when you have a child. The thing
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: that I really look to do with my son Questmandela,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: I love you so much, is teach him how to
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: be aware of himself. I am not going to be
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: able to control everything that happens in his life, and
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: I don't want to hold him in an environment where
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: he's just wearing rose colored glasses. So I just look
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: to really build his emotional intelligence at a very young age.
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: And so a lot of that is using affirmative words.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: Since he was an infant, I would sit over him
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: every night and I would say, you know, I love myself.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: I am loving and kind, I am strong and resilient,
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: I am creative and curious. I am kind. And then
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: now he says them for himself every day. He says,
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: I love myself, I'm cherished, I'm valued by my mom.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm teaching him the words that will help
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: build his core identity to be in a foundation of
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: deep worth. And then I think, you know, what's important
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: is teaching them how to identify their emotions navigating in
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: the world. That's a skill so many of us didn't get.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: And so with him, when he's upset, when he's happy,
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: I try to give him language for the things that
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: he's feeling, even before he can use the words. And
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: when he's upset, you know, I ask him, do you
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: need a hug right now? You know, what are you feelings?
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: And he was like, I'm frustrated, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: feeling upset, I'm feeling sad, and just greeting all of
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: that and not taking it personally and not letting it
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: change the way I feel about myself. Or assume that
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: anything is wrong. I think that is one of the
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: things that comes up with even the best parents who
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: just want to shower their kids with love. Depending on
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: what our life experience is, parenting is one of the
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: most triggering things you could ever do in your life.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: It shows you where all your own wounds lie. It
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: shows you where maybe things happen in your childhood that
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: were different and things that you maybe needed that you're
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: now giving your kid. So many of us are loving
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: our children in a way that we were never loved.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: So I think just giving him the space to be
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: a kid as well is really important to me. Everyone
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: that meets my child is always like, he's the sweetest
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: guy ever, or he's so happy, or he's so this.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: And because I'm not trying to shift his behavior, I'm
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: not telling him he needs to grow up faster. He's four.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: He doesn't need to be super sophisticated. He doesn't need
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: to have to know how to shake hands perfectly, or
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: how to do this or that, or how to appear
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: like a little adult. He is his own being and
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: I let him be himself.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Do you let him play sports? His dad play NFL football?
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: You talk to a lot of people in the sports world.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Do you allow him to play that? Because it feels like,
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: even in sports, they take this one emotion and they
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: make you use that motion against their opponents, right, And
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: it's usually anger, right, it's usually aggressive. Right. You never
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: seen a football play that's nice, like, Hey, how you
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: doing today? I'm gonna tackle you in a second. You
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: don't see that, you know. So do you allow him
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: to play football in sports? Because that's not something you
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: thought of already.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: No, he will not play football, you know that, matter
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: of factly, And that's something that we really talked a
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: lot about, even during my pregnancy, and that is a
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: that is a wish and to desire from his father
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: as well.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: No, it's it's because you know that he's four, but
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: he size of an eight year old.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Coach is going to say, is let the record show
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: before he physically ever got here, I said that he
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: was going to be seven feet tall, three hundred and fifty.
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: Well, what's the reason I knew that?
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, science is showing how much football can
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: affect your brain, and I'm not willing to take that
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: risk with my child. And I think that some of
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: the science that is coming out is also showing that
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: kids as early as playing even flag football are getting concussions,
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: and that children who are even playing in high school
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: are showing effects of CTE. And I'm just I'm completely
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: unwilling to risk my child's brain. But I think, you know,
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: I'm open to other kind of sports. Like I always
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: say and laugh, I'm like, he can golf. We got volleyball, badmintonball, baseball,
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: you know basketball? Yeah, so no basketball, no boxing, no football,
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: nonis he can he can make his own choices when
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: he's an adult man. Yeah, he can run track. You know,
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: he can meditate, We could do yoga.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: Lacrosse is on the come up across too, though I
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: now lacrosse is tough.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: There's some polo.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: Now, let's talk about how a person can build a
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: daily self care like spiritual practice routine just start healing
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: and changing their life. How does a person do that?
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, this is the most important thing. And I know,
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: I know you have yours. Now do you guys feel
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: like angel letting v You guys are have like your
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: morning routines and tradition for kind of.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: Not for me in the morning so much. It'd be
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: more before I go to bed, before.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: Bed, that's perfect too. I'm I do some in the morning,
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: but always lam I mean, y'all wake up very early,
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: but my practice at night is where I get like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: really really deeply connected. So everyone talks right now about changing,
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: about growing, transforming healing, you have to make it sustainable
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: so that it's actually becomes your lived experience and not
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: just something you speak but are not acting or living.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: That is what your daily practice does. And I think
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: you know sometimes in the mainstream you hear the word
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: self care and it's like, yeah, girl, go shop in
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: have some self care. Oh, go take a bag, get
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: a massage. Yes, And your self care is it's really
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: the practice that supports your life, that supports your destiny,
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: that supports your healing. And so what you want to
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: do when you're building a practice, first, identify how much
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: time you have. I know a lot of people work
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: really hard and have a lot of responsibilities. So even
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: if only five minutes is possible, please please try to
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: gift yourself with this. But if you can be more
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: expansive and spend thirty minutes, spend an hour, that could
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: be really powerful. What you want to do is you
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: want to build your daily practice around the four pillars
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: of wholeness, which is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. You
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: want to find something to do every day that falls
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: in one of those categories, and so that could look
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: like For mental, that could look like journaling, just getting
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: your thoughts out. It doesn't have to be dear diary style.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: It could be a couple bullet points, so it could
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: be wow, I noticed that I keep thinking about this
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: one thought every day. It helps to build or reestablish
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: your intuition, which is also something that a lot of
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: people lack because they so often go against what their
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: gut tells them to do. Our intuition is our soul's GPS.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: It's our guiding system as the human experience. So it's
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: really important that we ignite that ability in ourselves. That's
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: the mental category. Looking at the emotional category, that could
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: be meditation every day, you know, really sitting getting still,
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: getting quiet, and opening up your internal world, really coming
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: into a space of knowing how to be with yourself,
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: how to meet yourself, how to remember all of who
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: you truly are, outside of the roles that we play
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: in life, outside of the things that have happened to us.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: You look at physical for some that's a workout, like
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: I know you'all be working out. Everybody be working out
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: every day, But that could also look like a daily
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: stretch practice. That could look like yo, that could look
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: like remembering to massage your own shoulders at the end
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: of the night because you're aching and you deserve your
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: own touch. And then if we look at the spiritual category,
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: that could really look like affirmations every day speaking life
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: over yourself. And let's take it a step deeper than
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: some of the ones of like I am abundance or
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: I am love or I am strong. Really call forward
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: what you want to embody. You know, one of my
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: first affirmations and my healing journey was I'm a precious
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: child of God, leading, leading from my heart's center. Yeah,
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: I think that was a piece of it. I'm a
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: precious child of God, leading from my soul's center, working
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: in mastery of my being. Saying that over myself every
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: day changed me. So doing something every day that supports
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: who you are and who you're becoming and who you
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: have become is essential. It also teaches you emotional regulation,
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: which means that every day you can go into the
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: world as your true self and not as the version
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: of you that's constantly reacting to things.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: So I got to update my mantra. That's the mantra
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: I've gotten. We was in Mexico.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, it's an update, okay. And I always say,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: when it comes to when it comes to our affirmations,
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: our mantras keep evolving them. Once you feel that something
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: clicked into place and you have really been wearing that,
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: let's hit something else, you know, maybe start to notice
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: what are some other little crevices of my life that
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: I want to refine. If I feel that I've healed
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: my or really done a lot of work around my trauma,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: maybe now I want to start to investigate. What's my
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: relationship to money, what's my relationship to prosperity. Let me
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: heal that dynamic. What's my relationship to the masculine to
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: the feminine in my life? Let me look at healing
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: or evolving that experience. But there's always more, there's always deeper.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Why is it being on a healing journey so comp
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: and so exhausting.
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: Because our lived experiences are you know, we are to
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: be alive and to be human is to be deeply
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: challenged every day, you know, for a lot of people
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: that meant having really challenging experiences as young people, as adults.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: For others, it's just turning the news on every day
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: and seeing how painful it is to be a witness
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: to so much tragedy, especially so much tragedy that you know,
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: we don't really have the opportunity to shift fully. It's
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: hard to behold all that we're seeing right now.
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: It is, and.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: We're doing this very dualistic job of staying present in
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: our lives, updating our social media, doing all the things,
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: raising our kids, doing the things, and seeing people shot
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: dead on a daily basis. You know that we don't
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: even know the long term effects of taking on this
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: much grief every day, which is another reason why having
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: that daily practice it makes it not just easier, but
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: it does give you the opportunity to have more joy
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: even through the midst of all of this.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: I was gonna ask you, you know, with especially with kids,
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I'm noticing and I'm seeing kids are more emotional, right, Yeah,
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: They're more explaining their feelings, expressing their feelings, trying to
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: find themselves at an early age.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Is that a good or bad thing?
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: And the reason I'm asking most people be like, Oh,
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: that's a good thing. But I'm seeing a lot of
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: kids not being able to find themselves and hurting themselves,
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: committing suicide or being very quote unquote emo as kids say,
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: So is that a good thing a bad thing? Because
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: as a kid, that's one thing I don't think I
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: thought about. I don't know if anybody else in the
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: room thought of As a kid, I didn't think about
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: how I felt. I just went outside and had fun.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: I went to school because I had to. I ate
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: because I had to. Nowadays, you know, kids are you know,
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: they're finding out more about themselves. They're telling you why
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: they don't want to eat vegetables. There, it's more of that.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: But it's that good or is that bad?
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: I think because we're encouraging conversation. Like I know, growing up,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: I my dad shut up, punched me in the chest,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like we were taught to
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: suppress our emotions a lot of time.
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and on. You know, from my view as
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: a kid, I was always talking about my feelings to
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: the point that it made all the adults in my
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: life really irritated. And so then you kind of hide
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: them a little bit. I think there you know, there
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: is no good or bad, and I think that it's
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: both at the same time. And what I think is
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: so important about being a conscious and active parent in
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: your child's life is really witnessing them for themselves, not
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: through our lens of projection of who we want them
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: to be or who we were at their age, but
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: looking and saying, you know, if my child is this way,
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: if they are quote unquote emo, or if they are
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: a deep feeler or feeling this pressure to know who
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: they are, how can I one soothe that a little bit?
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: You know? How can I make that more of a
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: gentle experience for them and the words they use with themselves?
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: And then also how can I support that? How can
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: I if the community they need for who they are
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: is not around them, how can I look to supplement
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: that in their lives? In some ways, I think it's both.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's incredible that kids are as
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: self aware as they are. It's kind of mind blowing,
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: you know. I work with a lot of gen z
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: Like I just taught for a semester in Atlanta with
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: this group of young men who were roughly around the
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: age of sixteen. So many of the things that I
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: was teaching them, they were so familiar with those concepts already,
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: which was like, what, how do y'all know how you
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: feel already? But then at the same time, it can
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: become too much of a focus to where you're not
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: giving yourself the chance to be something new, to learn
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: new things.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I have two more questions in the action I want
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: to ask of you. But first question is what does
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: self acceptance look like?
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: Self acceptance looks like deep surrender and deep trust. To
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: accept yourself means that you are aware of all that
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: you are, including the things that may be a little
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: bit unfinished or the things that you may have judged,
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: but to know that it all serves purpose. To have
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: acceptance is to also have this trust that I may
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: not like everything that's happening right now or that has
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: happened to me, but I do understand and trust that
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: it is serving a purpose I don't yet know, And
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: so I am an acceptance of what currently is. Doesn't
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: mean you don't want it to change, doesn't mean it
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: doesn't have the potential to change. But I'm an acceptance
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: that this just is. When you come into acceptance, you
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: come into your personal power because you're not trying to
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: fight everything. You're not trying to control every outcome. You're
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: creating this space for more to unfold. And that's where
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: you get to be creative with yourself. You get to
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: be creative with your life. You get to be a
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: co creator of what this journey will look like for you.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: But you have to be an acceptance. If you're in
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: judgment of yourself, if you're in judgment of your life experiences,
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: it makes it almost impossible to change any of them
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: in a really meaningful way.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: Is that the first step to beginning to love yourself?
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Because that's my second question, How do you begin to
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: love yourself?
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: I think they're kind of both happening at the same time,
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: But I will say, you know, to love yourself, it's
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: a constantly evolving process. But I think it does require
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: that daily practice that I talked about. Loving yourself requires
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: your own sweat equity into yourself and your body. Loving
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: yourself can't be related to how really you look, how
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: other people are validating you or not, how they're treating you.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: It has to be like I exist and that's enough,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: and that alone is worthy of love. I am breathing
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: right now. That is worthy of love that is worthy
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: of gratitude, no matter who I've been, no matter what
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: choices I want to redo, there is more to me
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: than one definition.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the action I want to ask is, like,
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: you know, I know we have a lot of people
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: listening right now. They might have seen the sessions they
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: you know, probably listening to dropping gems. I want to
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: do like a mindfulness minute, Like what's what's a breathing exercise?
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Is something that we could do to like just ground
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: people right now in this moment.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: I would love to are you guys all going to
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: do with me?
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Sure? Okay?
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: I want to ask everybody right now listening connecting to
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: the sound of my voice, Angela envshar come into a
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: relaxed state with your body, and I want to invite
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: you to gently close your eyes and if you can
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: just uncross your arms a little bit and let your
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: back sit really supported, let your spine feels straight and supported.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: And I want you to just notice your body now
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: with your eyes closed, and notice how your seat feels,
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: how you feel in your seat, and just see if
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: there's an opportunity to feel a little softer inside of
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: your body right now in this moment, release any tension
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: that may be in your shoulders. Let your forearms just
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: be really gently on the tops of your thighs. Maybe
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: turn your palms upward into a state of receiving. Unclench
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: your jaw there's any pressure present, and now let yourself
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: just stretch your neck a little bit from side to side.
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: Your eyes are closed, and now let's connect to our breath. First.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Begin to notice how your natural breath is feeling in
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: your body, how it feels in your chest, in and out,
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: supporting your existence. And now I want to invite you
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: to take your right hand and place it over your chest,
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: right at your heart center. And now just notice what
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: that pressure of your hand feels like. Would you like
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: it to be a firmer touch, a lighter touch. Can
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: the palm of your hand connect to the core of
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: your heart? And just notice the support that you feel
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: in your body holding yourself in this way. And now
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: we're gonna begin some deep breathing through her noses. We're
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: gonna do some big inhales through her nose and then
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: out of our nose, and we'll do this three times together.
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: And what we're looking to do is take a big
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: deep inhale, slowly fully starting now filling your chest and
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: really stretch, take it a little more air, and then
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: hold the air at the top once it's in, allow
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: it to circulate for moment. And now as we breathe
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: out of our nose, I want you to do it
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: slowly and fully, really pace yourself on that exhale, let
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: it all come out. And now we'll begin that breath
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: again in through your nose, let your chest expand your
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: heart open, hold it and release. And now begin again
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: in through your nose and hold it and release that breath.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: And I still gently closed hand over heart, allow yourself
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: to return to whatever breath feels natural and nourishing and internally.
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: Right now, silently to yourself, I'd like you to repeat,
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: I am calling forward my highest self.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I am calling forward my highest self. I am calling
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: forward my highest self.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: I am calling forward my highest self. And I want
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: you to think about something currently present in your life,
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: something that has charged it could be perceived as good
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: as challenging, but something that you've really been chewing on lately,
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: some dynamic maybe in your life or relationship, or something
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: you're excited about. And I would just want you to
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: hold that seed in your mind's eye, whatever is unique
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: to you that you are working with in this moment,
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: and I want you to think about any nourishing or
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: evolutionary choices or lens of perceptions that you can shift
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: to around whatever this morsel is that you're chewing on,
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: whatever is present. Is it about surrendering, Is it about
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: an action step, or is it just an observation something
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: that can be released and now based on your unique
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: experience that you're holding in your mind and your heart,
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: I want you to think of an intention around it.
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: And maybe it is my intention is to release this,
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: or my intention is to really feel all of this,
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: or my intention is to manifest this, and silently within
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: your own hearts to yourselves, I want you to state
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: that intention my intention is, and you can do it
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: inside in this moment, and everyone connecting to the sound
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: of my voice listening, I hope you're doing the same.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: And now we're going to do a cleansing lion's breath,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: which is gonna be a deep in hell through your nose,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: and then it'll be followed out by signing it out
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: through your mouth with your tongue out and it'll sound
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: a little like this, So we'll begin our in hell
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: now through our noses and release through your mouth. And
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: now shake out your hand that was on your heart,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: allow it to drop back down to the tops of
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: your thighs. And as you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Ah,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: how do you guys feel?
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: How can I want to sleep this night?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: I want to do that. I've been telling iHeart for
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: the longest. We need a mindfulness minute on the radio
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: during the middays. I've screamed into a million different executives.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: It needs to happen.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: People need that, and you know that experience that we
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: just did, and everyone could start and end their day
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: like that. We probably spent maybe a minute there. If
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: I wasn't talking and you just did the breath with them,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: maybe thirty seconds. That is a daily practice. What we
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: just did that was breathwork. So that's an experience that
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: you can invite into your life to regulate your nervousness. Yes,
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: because what was happening internally as we did that was
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: our body was able to come into the present moment.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: We were in the moment of what is We were
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: inside of our bodies. Many people that heard my voice
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: were connecting to parts of their bodies for the first time.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: If you're under deep stress or you have had trauma,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: you don't feel present in your body, and so to
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: just be able to settle into yourself and then to
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: give yourself that nourishing breath that resets your emotional center,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: it changes what's possible. The thing about trauma, depression, stress, anxiety,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: it limits what's possible in your life because it limits
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: the choices you make and how you view yourself. When
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: you have daily practice and when you do a breath
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: like that, it reconnects you to the truth of who
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: you are when you're coming from your authenticity, when you're
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: not triggered, and from that space, it's limitless because you're
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: able to make endless amounts of choices of who you'll be,
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 3: how you'll behave, what you'll do. And that's what so
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: many of us need. We just need to be able
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: to be anchored into the moment, to feel like ourselves
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: inside so that we can make the decisions that really
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: honor our lives.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: If you do with panic attacks, anxiety attacks at work, school, whatever,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: it is like that that gets you right back to
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: where you need to be.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: Well, Thank you so much, Debbie for v brand.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: Tell them where to follow you dev hit me on
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: Instagram at Debbie Brown, my website Debbie Brown, and on
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: Amazon Prime Video. Watch the Sessions. It is an incredible,
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: incredible documentary by Religion of Sports, myself, Deepak Chopra, and
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: NBA superstar Draymond Green.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 4: Are there going to be other sessions?
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: There are going to be other sessions, and we're really excited.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: I can't say anything yet, but we're really excited about
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: how that is going to unfold. But that is definitely
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: the intention. You know, one of the things I love
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: about the work that I do is supporting people who
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: have lives of high impact. You know, when you can
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: show up in this life of impact that you're living
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: as all of yourself, how you're actually meant to change
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 3: the world becomes more alive and more possible.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: And pick up Debbie Brown's book, Crystal Bliss. Your Devil
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: was talking about crystals way before everybody else was. That
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: book dropped in with twenty fourteen yeh twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, And make sure you subscribe to V's podcast
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: Dropping Gems on the Black Effect Podcast Network. It's so
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: many you know, high level conscious conversations on that podcast.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: So make sure you subscribe to that
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: Black Effect Breakfast Club is Debbie Brown.