Latest / Pod Therapy / #377: Processing Emotions, Financial Anxiety
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: How much I can. Yeah, now do you also go
- 0:02Speaker 1: see Gidget Buddy, my Body, Gidget, the Stripper, Gidgets Gadget.
- 0:12Speaker 1: She is well good.
- 0:14Speaker 2: Congratulations on all your high roll.
- 0:15Speaker 3: Welcome for the financial Yeah, it's tune.
- 0:18Speaker 1: In for all the financial advising bills again.
- 0:23Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you were living free over two.
- 0:29Speaker 4: From fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. This is pod therapy, real people,
- 0:33Speaker 4: real problems, and real therapists. You can submit your questions
- 0:36Speaker 4: anonymously at pod therapy dot net or email us at
- 0:39Speaker 4: pod therapy guys at gmail dot com. And now broadcasting
- 0:42Speaker 4: from the Turn That's Jim, that's Whitney on Nick, It's
- 0:45Speaker 4: time for some pod therapy.
- 0:46Speaker 2: Welcome everybody to mad Marchness. If you'd like to find
- 0:51Speaker 2: out which of the hosts is in the lead and
- 0:54Speaker 2: which is probably pretty fucked patron dot com slash therapy.
- 0:58Speaker 2: We also name who is in the up ten rankings
- 1:01Speaker 2: among our listeners. A lot of exciting things.
- 1:05Speaker 4: I'm sorry we did not get to this in the
- 1:07Speaker 4: Patreon part of the show. Our community has been very
- 1:11Speaker 4: active with this microwave active.
- 1:14Speaker 1: As an understatement.
- 1:17Speaker 2: They opened an entire fucking channel in the Science the
- 1:23Speaker 2: fuck Problem we've got some there's some very sern physicists
- 1:29Speaker 2: are working on this in our chat, like this ship
- 1:33Speaker 2: is very intense.
- 1:34Speaker 4: We've got some real scientists who took some time off work.
- 1:37Speaker 1: To work on this.
- 1:39Speaker 2: They stopped solving quantum ship because they were like, no,
- 1:42Speaker 2: we got to get to the bottom of this popcorn BULGEP.
- 1:44Speaker 1: So I'm feeling pretty validated.
- 1:46Speaker 2: H yeaheah, I did not. I wrote down some notes
- 1:53Speaker 2: so special thanks to David Sorensen, staple gun One, Andrew
- 1:57Speaker 2: lang Mead and Alec Lancaster who all altogether fucking went
- 2:01Speaker 2: ham on this.
- 2:02Speaker 5: Oh and we should say, if people don't listening for
- 2:04Speaker 5: the first time or they missed it, what is the experiment?
- 2:07Speaker 1: What was the theorem? Yeah?
- 2:08Speaker 4: The theory is is that you shouldn't that the center
- 2:13Speaker 4: of the microwave is the cold spot.
- 2:15Speaker 5: So the microwave rotating tray is the worst place to
- 2:19Speaker 5: put your.
- 2:19Speaker 4: Because you've got peaks and valleys of the waves that
- 2:22Speaker 4: are hitting each other and canceling each other out. So
- 2:24Speaker 4: that's the least amount of heat generated right there. Yeah,
- 2:28Speaker 4: so you should put your food towards the outside.
- 2:30Speaker 2: So they created spreadsheets and replicated in perfect science. It's
- 2:36Speaker 2: in an entire thread under episodes just called the microwave experiment.
- 2:40Speaker 2: And so they posted all their screenshots of all their spreadsheets.
- 2:44Speaker 2: Basically the many experiments that were run included using water
- 2:48Speaker 2: in an official pod therapy ceramic mug and positioning it
- 2:52Speaker 2: in different places and then taking the reading of that
- 2:54Speaker 2: temperature of the water. Then they did cheese. They upgraded
- 2:58Speaker 2: to cheese to try on something. It's some kind of
- 3:00Speaker 2: content to it.
- 3:01Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like cheese is worse. They melted cheese.
- 3:04Speaker 1: It was like parmesan.
- 3:06Speaker 2: And then they posted photos of like here's the cheese
- 3:08Speaker 2: in this position, here's the cheese in that position. Okay, so,
- 3:11Speaker 2: and then there was there's also a lot of like
- 3:13Speaker 2: like scholarly. They also did a lot of reading, getting
- 3:18Speaker 2: into the manuals and like looking at how these things work.
- 3:22Speaker 2: So Alec ultimately posted this as what has, in my opinion,
- 3:26Speaker 2: become the official conclusion. And here's what Alec wrote. He said,
- 3:30Speaker 2: imagine the scenario where microwaves are just kind of shitty
- 3:34Speaker 2: in general and have uneven fields inside of them. If
- 3:38Speaker 2: your food is on the outer edge of the plate,
- 3:40Speaker 2: it sweeps through more space within the microwave, which averages
- 3:44Speaker 2: out the shittiness of the field. But if your food
- 3:46Speaker 2: is in the center of the microwave, it is stuck
- 3:48Speaker 2: in that position and whatever shitty field befalls it there.
- 3:52Speaker 5: This is.
- 3:54Speaker 1: A microwave theory that I can get behind. Yeah, this
- 3:58Speaker 1: makes more swave.
- 4:00Speaker 2: Maybe there's they're all kind of shitty and they're just
- 4:03Speaker 2: pinging waves in every direction. And so if it's moving
- 4:06Speaker 2: on the long arc of the outside plate, sure it's
- 4:09Speaker 2: it's touching a whole lot of waves in a lot
- 4:11Speaker 2: different directions, it's probably gonna get a better average. Yeah,
- 4:14Speaker 2: Whereas if it's in the center, it's getting beamed with
- 4:16Speaker 2: whatever waves hitting it in some microwaves that will make
- 4:19Speaker 2: it way too fucking hot, and some microwaves will make
- 4:22Speaker 2: it way too fucking cold. And another thing that I
- 4:23Speaker 2: saw in the data was this discussion of like convection
- 4:26Speaker 2: heat or something with that effect of like it'll still
- 4:30Speaker 2: warm the outsides. First it's gonna hit the outside and
- 4:34Speaker 2: then that's gonna get hot, and then that's gonna send
- 4:37Speaker 2: heat inward toward the center of.
- 4:38Speaker 1: Whatever the object is.
- 4:40Speaker 2: So the objects are still gonna absorb heat from the
- 4:42Speaker 2: out to the end, I guess.
- 4:43Speaker 1: Yeah, because I looked at this a little more.
- 4:46Speaker 5: I look at my microwave because Nick asked questions about
- 4:48Speaker 5: my microwave. Last, because I did my own scientific research.
- 4:51Speaker 1: Yeah, before any of these come lately.
- 4:54Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe is what we call them over it, sir, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 5:00Speaker 2: talk about your degrees.
- 5:02Speaker 5: I also have a PhD. Then I won fair and square,
- 5:06Speaker 5: earned it twice.
- 5:07Speaker 1: Bitches. How many of you won? Yeah? You earned what
- 5:13Speaker 1: one or two? Who cares with your mat Yeah? I
- 5:19Speaker 1: mine with cunning. Yeah, but yeah, I look at mine.
- 5:24Speaker 1: I measured. I tried it again this week.
- 5:27Speaker 5: I tried because last time I did two mugs of water,
- 5:30Speaker 5: measured the temperature of the mugs of water, put one
- 5:32Speaker 5: in the center and one on the edge, and then
- 5:34Speaker 5: the difference between the two of them was pretty negligible.
- 5:37Speaker 1: Okay, yes, and I have a theory about that.
- 5:39Speaker 5: Well then, but so this week I did it with
- 5:42Speaker 5: a mug of water, put it in the middle.
- 5:44Speaker 1: Because some people said that it was uh, some people
- 5:46Speaker 1: didn't here.
- 5:47Speaker 5: It might have been Nick, I don't remember who it
- 5:48Speaker 5: was that I was messing it up by putting two
- 5:50Speaker 5: things that they're at the same time.
- 5:52Speaker 1: Oh so this time I did.
- 5:54Speaker 5: Poured the water into the cup, measured it, uh, put
- 5:58Speaker 5: that in the microwave in the center another cup. Measured
- 6:02Speaker 5: that and then after letting the microwave come back down
- 6:05Speaker 5: to room temperature, so let it, let it sit there
- 6:08Speaker 5: for a while.
- 6:09Speaker 1: Put the next one in on the edge. Did that one.
- 6:12Speaker 5: There was a temperature difference after two minutes of microwave
- 6:17Speaker 5: on high on both of them. There was like a
- 6:21Speaker 5: three degree difference between the two. There is a negligible.
- 6:25Speaker 6: Difference what I was thinking after But I think I
- 6:28Speaker 6: might have a nice I think though the other mistake
- 6:33Speaker 6: that was made, I don't want to say mistake.
- 6:35Speaker 4: I would say if I if you're submitting this for
- 6:38Speaker 4: pure reviews as you are, I retek as you will.
- 6:42Speaker 4: Ye is that I think a mug of water is
- 6:46Speaker 4: too big. Okay, I think the cold spot is smaller
- 6:49Speaker 4: than the mug, so it's still gonna the water on
- 6:53Speaker 4: the inside of the mug, but on the outer edges
- 6:56Speaker 4: of it are is still going to heat up, which
- 6:58Speaker 4: is going to heat up the entire thing.
- 7:00Speaker 1: I just have a decent microwave. Yeah, that's what I
- 7:02Speaker 1: That's what I decided that I think.
- 7:04Speaker 2: I think that your construction worker forgotten microwave.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Maybe isn't good.
- 7:09Speaker 4: I just think that whatever, they didn't buy it either.
- 7:17Speaker 1: They probably.
- 7:20Speaker 4: This microwave has been through many people say, like a
- 7:22Speaker 4: rain on detector in this thing, like maybe.
- 7:26Speaker 1: Carbon monoxide detector in the house.
- 7:29Speaker 2: Just check ot it.
- 7:30Speaker 5: Maybe maybe a picture of the room is vincent when
- 7:32Speaker 5: using the microwave.
- 7:33Speaker 2: So if you've been on the edge of your seat
- 7:35Speaker 2: really wanting to get to the bottom of the microwave stuff,
- 7:38Speaker 2: now's the time. Go to the discord patroon dot com
- 7:41Speaker 2: slash therapy. When you sign up for as low as
- 7:42Speaker 2: a buck, you automatically get into the discord. We have
- 7:45Speaker 2: a whole channel. I'm still posting as we speak. I
- 7:48Speaker 2: see they are posting photos right now.
- 7:50Speaker 5: The cheese said said that it was because of just
- 7:53Speaker 5: just shitty microwaves.
- 7:54Speaker 2: I think alex hypothesis, as he summarizes all the data,
- 7:57Speaker 2: is that all microwaves are just kind of shitty.
- 8:00Speaker 3: I think I'm with Alex Lancaster.
- 8:03Speaker 1: Yeah, Alec, yeah, Alex.
- 8:06Speaker 2: I think that he's like he's just spraying waves in
- 8:09Speaker 2: every direction. There's not a lot of rhymeriies into this
- 8:11Speaker 2: and the arc theory average is better than being stuck
- 8:15Speaker 2: in one spot. Nothing would make me happier than to
- 8:18Speaker 2: hear that people are joining Patreon in order to contribute
- 8:22Speaker 2: to the science.
- 8:24Speaker 1: Somebody is doing that. You can join the conversation.
- 8:30Speaker 2: Somebody is listening and they're like, fuck, this is why
- 8:33Speaker 2: I'm going to give them month, just so I can
- 8:35Speaker 2: show up the data and tell them what they're doing
- 8:39Speaker 2: wrong and get this figured out.
- 8:44Speaker 3: Because just random melted cheese, you.
- 8:46Speaker 2: Know, they noticed that there are striations melted, and so
- 8:50Speaker 2: now they're using the cheese in one big pattern to
- 8:52Speaker 2: notice where are the microwaves melting like this.
- 8:58Speaker 1: It's getting really detailed in the good stuff.
- 9:00Speaker 2: And I asked them. I went into the chat. I
- 9:02Speaker 2: was like, hey, guys, can I get a summary of this?
- 9:03Speaker 2: We're going to read on the show to a person.
- 9:06Speaker 2: They ignored the fuck out of me, kept doing the
- 9:09Speaker 2: science ship what I do like some politicians sticking his
- 9:13Speaker 2: head and they're like, NASA, can I get a reading?
- 9:14Speaker 2: They're like, we don't answer to you, ship. We got
- 9:20Speaker 2: science to do. Nobody gives a damn what you think, Senator.
- 9:23Speaker 2: So yeah, So Pedron dot com slash therapy, you can
- 9:25Speaker 2: come dial into all this great data. I'm sure we
- 9:28Speaker 2: will have more updates as epiphanies are reached and as
- 9:30Speaker 2: new sciences is begat So.
- 9:33Speaker 1: There you go. I am learn microwave.
- 9:40Speaker 4: It did, though, we should be considered I think the
- 9:45Speaker 4: number one microwave science pods.
- 9:47Speaker 1: I'd like to know who number two is. I don't.
- 9:49Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody's else. Nobody's doing this kind of ship. Nobody's
- 9:53Speaker 2: doing hard science on it. Other podcasts they're explaining how
- 9:57Speaker 2: microwaves work. They're not currently double checking the science of
- 10:01Speaker 2: the modern microwave. Are you at Neil deGrasse Tyson? Fucking Neil,
- 10:05Speaker 2: go do your star talk. You know that we've got
- 10:07Speaker 2: this thing. We got the corner of your market. We're
- 10:09Speaker 2: coming in therapy podcasts, my ass, we're branching out anyway
- 10:13Speaker 2: back to the therapy shit. So we've got some great
- 10:15Speaker 2: questions for today, and we're leading off the order with
- 10:18Speaker 2: our old pal University Jeff.
- 10:20Speaker 1: By the way, the AI on Google.
- 10:22Speaker 5: When I don't know why we didn't do this before,
- 10:24Speaker 5: I just typed in, should I put my food on.
- 10:26Speaker 1: The edge of the microwave tray? Okay? Into Google?
- 10:29Speaker 5: That Google AI says yes, placing the food on the
- 10:32Speaker 5: outer edge of the microwave tray rather than the center,
- 10:34Speaker 5: can help ensure more even heating and faster cooking because
- 10:38Speaker 5: the microwaves are more consistent and energy intents there.
- 10:41Speaker 1: Wow, so Google agrees with it.
- 10:42Speaker 2: Google agrees these days anytime I ask you a yes
- 10:46Speaker 2: or no question, or like a should I question, it
- 10:49Speaker 2: is so politically terrified ah that it's like.
- 10:52Speaker 1: I don't know nothing.
- 10:53Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I mean, is this happening, Like, what's
- 10:56Speaker 2: going on with this? Nobody knows? You should just go
- 10:58Speaker 2: ask your senator. People are saying, yeah, it's so scared
- 11:02Speaker 2: to give me an answer. So I'm surprised you got
- 11:04Speaker 2: one on the microwave fas I'm sure it would be like, well, look,
- 11:06Speaker 2: you know, we don't want to get into this stuff anyway.
- 11:08Speaker 2: University Jeff writes, it's about processing emotions as an adult.
- 11:12Speaker 2: Hello pop therapy friends, I heard that your reservoire of
- 11:15Speaker 2: questions is running low, So I'm emerging from my lurker
- 11:18Speaker 2: hole to answer the call for once. I'm not going
- 11:21Speaker 2: to talk about my ongoing relationship troubles. Rest assured they
- 11:25Speaker 2: are still happening. My hopes back, my hopes keep getting raised,
- 11:29Speaker 2: only to be dashed. My heart keeps getting shattered, and
- 11:32Speaker 2: I keep putting it back together to get back out
- 11:35Speaker 2: there and find my special someone. Lots of lowercase T
- 11:38Speaker 2: trauma going on. I've gotten into journaling recently by purchasing
- 11:42Speaker 2: a new guided journal to help me grow as a
- 11:44Speaker 2: person for not only myself but future partners. I've found
- 11:48Speaker 2: the prompts helpful, though difficult to process, as these are
- 11:51Speaker 2: things I don't normally think about. Here are some prompt examples.
- 11:55Speaker 2: What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
- 11:58Speaker 2: How do you want to be remember? What is something
- 12:01Speaker 2: you want to learn or master? How would you describe
- 12:04Speaker 2: yourself to a completely unknown person. At the same time,
- 12:08Speaker 2: I'm filling out my yearly evaluation for my job, reflecting
- 12:11Speaker 2: on what I've done, what I hope to accomplish next year,
- 12:14Speaker 2: In any long term goals I have for my career,
- 12:16Speaker 2: I never really gave that much thought either. I've basically
- 12:20Speaker 2: gone where my desire for a fun and challenging work
- 12:22Speaker 2: environment has taken me. I've worked in food service, retail
- 12:26Speaker 2: call centers, summer camps for kids, university housing, and now
- 12:30Speaker 2: university ride share programming. The other night, something clicked in
- 12:34Speaker 2: my head as I was listening to running on empty
- 12:37Speaker 2: in my bed and basically, shit up, shut up, maybe
- 12:41Speaker 2: let's go motion. I shit up from my pillow, sat
- 12:46Speaker 2: and realized that I was never really taught about reflecting
- 12:49Speaker 2: on my emotions, choices, or stuff like that. For my parents,
- 12:53Speaker 2: I was raised in stating to the bathroom oor, that is,
- 12:56Speaker 2: shitting on your pillow not a good choice. I was
- 12:58Speaker 2: raised in stereotypical boy fashion where emotions, specifically crying, were
- 13:02Speaker 2: not acceptable, so I was taught to numb them or
- 13:04Speaker 2: hide them with video games, sports, and food. Eureka, no
- 13:07Speaker 2: wonder that I struggle to journal or write my yearly evaluations.
- 13:11Speaker 2: I don't know how to process my emotions, let alone
- 13:14Speaker 2: think about them. I'm sure this guy to journal will
- 13:16Speaker 2: help me in the end, since I just started and
- 13:18Speaker 2: needed to develop that muscle. And that leads to my questions,
- 13:21Speaker 2: what books, articles, videos, or other materials would you recommend
- 13:25Speaker 2: I engage with to help me learn how to process
- 13:27Speaker 2: my emotions? How would you recommend someone start journaling so
- 13:31Speaker 2: they can be successful in achieving an emotionally healthy life?
- 13:35Speaker 2: Thanks all, University, Jeff So.
- 13:37Speaker 4: The typo reminded me of something a really funny story
- 13:41Speaker 4: my internship. My second year in my masters, I was interning.
- 13:48Speaker 4: I was a like executive assistant kind of for executive
- 13:52Speaker 4: director of a treatment center.
- 13:54Speaker 1: Okay, so like yeah, yeah.
- 13:58Speaker 4: So anyway, as in my office, he was in the
- 14:00Speaker 4: office next door. Now, he was blind, and so he
- 14:04Speaker 4: had on his computer it would read to him basically,
- 14:08Speaker 4: and so he was just checking his email and whatnot,
- 14:11Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, he just bust it out,
- 14:13Speaker 4: laughing and he's like, Nick, come in here, come in here.
- 14:16Speaker 4: So I went in there and he's like, can you
- 14:19Speaker 4: please read this and tell me? Does it say what
- 14:22Speaker 4: it says that it just said? And it was an
- 14:25Speaker 4: email from a public defender to him, and he's like
- 14:31Speaker 4: he's like, read the signature line. Read the signature line.
- 14:34Speaker 4: So it's like, okay, I read through it and I
- 14:36Speaker 4: just read through it quickly. He's like, yeah, it's funny.
- 14:38Speaker 4: He's like, read the title. Does the title say what
- 14:41Speaker 4: I think it says? And so I read through and
- 14:44Speaker 4: I looked closer. I was like, oh, yeah, it does
- 14:46Speaker 4: say pubic defender boy on a signature line that had
- 14:55Speaker 4: prime been there for years. Yes, yes, never meant.
- 15:00Speaker 5: Wow, I do my job well, and people don't complain pubic.
- 15:06Speaker 7: That's like Peter texted me the other day and I
- 15:09Speaker 7: tapped the over the sound speaker thing and it was
- 15:12Speaker 7: like he was saying he was on Las Vegas Boulevard
- 15:15Speaker 7: and it said he is on fifty Boulevard and I
- 15:17Speaker 7: was like fifty. I was like, what is this LV?
- 15:21Speaker 7: I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say.
- 15:23Speaker 7: I'm like, fifty boulevard. I was like, how is this getting?
- 15:27Speaker 1: Like? LV is okay, roman numeral red?
- 15:30Speaker 3: Why would you think just say LV?
- 15:32Speaker 4: I don't know.
- 15:33Speaker 3: Anyway, that was a weird one.
- 15:34Speaker 2: With the other day, capital L, capital V. I know,
- 15:37Speaker 2: I'm kind of on the AI side on this. Well,
- 15:39Speaker 2: thanks for writing in, Jeff, yep, good luck with that.
- 15:41Speaker 1: Sounds like you didn't fifty five or maybe I think
- 15:45Speaker 1: L is fifty.
- 15:46Speaker 5: Yeah, L is fifty, LV is fifty five, and.
- 15:50Speaker 1: It's okay, okay, I don't know what.
- 15:52Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know numerals, so don't ask me that.
- 15:54Speaker 2: So things that you can listen to im part or
- 15:57Speaker 2: participate that makes sense that especially break down. I think
- 16:01Speaker 2: accessing male emotions and processing them and learning how to
- 16:05Speaker 2: language them. If I may brag for just a moment.
- 16:08Speaker 2: I'm really proud of pod therapy for that. Like we've
- 16:11Speaker 2: had people write in in the past, We've had a
- 16:13Speaker 2: lot of male listeners over the years who have said,
- 16:16Speaker 2: I discovered this show. It is predominantly male. It's unapologetically
- 16:21Speaker 2: just you know, assholes being assholes, but like also taking
- 16:25Speaker 2: breaks to like answer questions in like this therapy voice,
- 16:29Speaker 2: and like talking about emotions. And we've had lots of
- 16:32Speaker 2: male listeners over the years that have said this show
- 16:35Speaker 2: contributed to them learning how to language emotions in a
- 16:39Speaker 2: way that felt native, in a way that felt true
- 16:42Speaker 2: within their lexicon, within their vocabulary, a way to speak
- 16:45Speaker 2: about themselves and discuss and even notice things and know
- 16:49Speaker 2: how to identify certain words in certain ways of their
- 16:51Speaker 2: feeling and be able to discuss that with their partners
- 16:54Speaker 2: or themselves and just access that insight. So if I
- 16:57Speaker 2: may just a quick plug, as you already know University
- 17:00Speaker 2: pod there, I feel like this is something we're doing.
- 17:03Speaker 7: Yeah, I think just the the journaling, I mean, that's
- 17:08Speaker 7: kind of my go to when you're starting and getting prompts,
- 17:10Speaker 7: because I do find that's very common or have over
- 17:13Speaker 7: the years found it's common for people to not really
- 17:16Speaker 7: know where to start with journaling, like Okay, well what
- 17:18Speaker 7: am I writing down?
- 17:19Speaker 3: It's just a lot of pressure, just a blank page
- 17:21Speaker 3: after the abyss.
- 17:23Speaker 7: So I did have a client not too long ago
- 17:28Speaker 7: who bought this journal online. It's called like a burn
- 17:31Speaker 7: book or oh yeah, yeah. It's like answer all these
- 17:35Speaker 7: questions and then burn it after or whatever. And I
- 17:38Speaker 7: thought for my younger crowd, I mean any crowd really,
- 17:41Speaker 7: but it's really helpful for the younger crowd because there's
- 17:44Speaker 7: a lot of different styles, like different designs on the cover,
- 17:49Speaker 7: so you can find one that feels like you and
- 17:51Speaker 7: then answering all the questions just to kind of get
- 17:54Speaker 7: the relief of especially for like teens or early twenties,
- 17:57Speaker 7: Like I could just burn this in the end, or
- 17:59Speaker 7: I could just let this go into the abyss and
- 18:01Speaker 7: not feel that pressure of because this is what I
- 18:05Speaker 7: hear a lot. I don't know, if you hear this,
- 18:06Speaker 7: people will be like, well, what if someone reads it?
- 18:08Speaker 7: There's still that internal fear, and I kind of relate
- 18:11Speaker 7: to that. It's like you find yourself almost adjusting what
- 18:14Speaker 7: you write down in a journal, like if someone were
- 18:16Speaker 7: to find it and you're like, what I'm not.
- 18:19Speaker 1: Yeah, no one's going to read that.
- 18:20Speaker 2: So I journal in exclusively two places.
- 18:23Speaker 3: Okay.
- 18:23Speaker 2: One has to be handwritten because I'm scared the AIS
- 18:27Speaker 2: are going to get to it, or one day wherever
- 18:29Speaker 2: I write it is going to be discovered. So I
- 18:31Speaker 2: will only do pen and paper, and you know, with
- 18:34Speaker 2: the idea that I can destroy those periodically if that's
- 18:36Speaker 2: what I feel like I need to do. And the
- 18:38Speaker 2: other one, which I don't do anymore but I have
- 18:40Speaker 2: done in my career in the EHR, I'll just create
- 18:44Speaker 2: a fake client and like their record's my journal, and like, yeah,
- 18:48Speaker 2: break into this hip a fucking file.
- 18:50Speaker 4: I don't think that's going to happen very often. I
- 18:52Speaker 4: think you know, like every Whitney. You probably are not
- 18:56Speaker 4: aware of this, but every male growing up has a
- 19:01Speaker 4: buddy that knows, like, Hey, if I die, there's a box.
- 19:09Speaker 4: It's in my closet. You need to go get it
- 19:11Speaker 4: and destroy and destroy my family.
- 19:13Speaker 1: Don't open it. Don't you know the code? We all
- 19:15Speaker 1: know you don't open that. But here's where it is.
- 19:18Speaker 1: If you have time, get to the computer and light
- 19:24Speaker 1: my house on fire.
- 19:27Speaker 2: The biggest magnet you can find okay, and you just
- 19:30Speaker 2: beat the ship out of that computer with it as
- 19:33Speaker 2: hard as you can the cloud.
- 19:35Speaker 4: Like, I'm optimistic that we as a society can get
- 19:39Speaker 4: to that point where like we have friends now that
- 19:41Speaker 4: will do this with journals, like instead of you'll find
- 19:45Speaker 4: this instead of porn boxes, because porns on the internet.
- 19:47Speaker 1: We're all saying, so it's it's.
- 19:50Speaker 2: Fine, nobody's ashamed of their porn, but we're ashamed of
- 19:53Speaker 2: those sad feelings we feel.
- 19:54Speaker 1: Sometimes we don't have to print it off.
- 19:58Speaker 4: Yeah that's right, but yeah, like if but yeah, like
- 20:02Speaker 4: to get to a point where like, hey, this is
- 20:03Speaker 4: my journal, right, please destroy this.
- 20:06Speaker 2: I love that that Jeff is journaling, and I like
- 20:09Speaker 2: this idea of guided journals, which really, guys, how has
- 20:12Speaker 2: it been eight years? We never created our own guided journals.
- 20:16Speaker 2: We would crush that ship a pod therapy guided journal
- 20:19Speaker 2: like just riffing like deep questions but also definitely not
- 20:24Speaker 2: like ship that we would.
- 20:25Speaker 1: Talk about that would crush. People would love that.
- 20:28Speaker 4: I like that, like what are you most afraid of?
- 20:32Speaker 4: And also where should you put food in the microwave?
- 20:34Speaker 1: Yes, I think that we have a.
- 20:38Speaker 3: Say it out loud like a petal.
- 20:43Speaker 1: Yeah done this.
- 20:47Speaker 2: Yeah, no, there could be a lot of fun. We
- 20:49Speaker 2: could have a lot of fun with this.
- 20:51Speaker 5: Just make it.
- 20:53Speaker 2: I mean the discord is essentially that, like we have
- 20:56Speaker 2: like prompts and stuff that pop up in there, and
- 20:58Speaker 2: people like answer questions and share discuss I.
- 21:00Speaker 3: Was gonna say practice too. I don't know.
- 21:04Speaker 7: I don't love this app so much anymore. But Pinterest,
- 21:07Speaker 7: I feel like, has lots of little just if you're
- 21:10Speaker 7: feeling oh yeah, just like kind of impulsive journaling prompts.
- 21:15Speaker 7: There's a lot of different things in there, and it's
- 21:17Speaker 7: just a few questions, so it's not so overwhelming or
- 21:19Speaker 7: I have to go buy a journal or I have
- 21:21Speaker 7: to do whatever. It's like something very quick, easy, simple
- 21:25Speaker 7: in one like screenshot and and sometimes really deep questions.
- 21:28Speaker 7: But I go there a lot when I'm like I
- 21:30Speaker 7: feel like journaling or I feel like I have a
- 21:32Speaker 7: lot of emotions going on. I don't know what exactly.
- 21:35Speaker 7: Let me go just see what prompts stand out to me,
- 21:37Speaker 7: and like focus on one or two of them and
- 21:39Speaker 7: go for but the pen and paper, I'm definitely.
- 21:43Speaker 4: Do you ever have any clients or have you ever
- 21:46Speaker 4: recommended that somebody not use prompts, but just free, right,
- 21:51Speaker 4: I do.
- 21:52Speaker 7: I usually only do that if it's somebody who kind
- 21:55Speaker 7: of enjoys journaling to start with. If they're like, y'all
- 21:59Speaker 7: journal periodic, or it's something that's even already a thing,
- 22:02Speaker 7: but maybe they haven't journaled about this type of stuff
- 22:05Speaker 7: or something deeper than Yeah, just start writing and see
- 22:08Speaker 7: what happens.
- 22:09Speaker 3: I find clients struggle with that a lot, which is
- 22:12Speaker 3: probably really good.
- 22:13Speaker 1: That's gonna be the hardest way to start. Just sit
- 22:16Speaker 1: down with a blank sheet of.
- 22:17Speaker 7: Pay trying to go well, they'll see, like write anything
- 22:19Speaker 7: like today it's cold outside, like it can be just
- 22:21Speaker 7: like the sky is blue.
- 22:23Speaker 3: Well, that's beau.
- 22:24Speaker 2: I think about AI too. If you can ask it,
- 22:26Speaker 2: give me thirty prompts that might be related to what's
- 22:29Speaker 2: going on in my life.
- 22:30Speaker 1: You could just have chat GPT, write your daily journal one.
- 22:33Speaker 2: You don't even have to write it. Yeah, tell me
- 22:35Speaker 2: how I'm doing, what problem solved?
- 22:37Speaker 1: Yeah? Comes up a lot.
- 22:42Speaker 2: Like you know, in the last year, I've probably had
- 22:46Speaker 2: at least two, maybe three different men who have come
- 22:50Speaker 2: into therapy and they've said, you know, I went through
- 22:52Speaker 2: something in my life and it was really difficult, and
- 22:56Speaker 2: I started looking for YouTube channels podcasts that we're gonna
- 23:01Speaker 2: help me as a man process my emotions and access
- 23:03Speaker 2: this and to a person, each of them told me.
- 23:06Speaker 2: As soon as I started down that road, I immediately
- 23:10Speaker 2: bumped into like quote unquote red pill content, Like the
- 23:13Speaker 2: only men that are talking about raw truth and being
- 23:16Speaker 2: vulnerable are also talking about how there's a conspiracy of
- 23:19Speaker 2: women who are trying to not sleep with you and
- 23:21Speaker 2: you need to.
- 23:21Speaker 1: Punish them, right, and like it just.
- 23:26Speaker 2: I don't know, I just pick a lane, you know,
- 23:28Speaker 2: like yeah, summer, just like the same they're talking about
- 23:32Speaker 2: their emotions. They're also trying to get you to buy crypto.
- 23:34Speaker 3: You know.
- 23:35Speaker 1: It's just like it's always this you should do.
- 23:37Speaker 2: It gets really toxic really fast, and like it all
- 23:40Speaker 2: gets like obsessively about self improvement and you're being a
- 23:43Speaker 2: pussy and like, yeah, David Goggin's this ship, and like
- 23:45Speaker 2: it gets really weird and and just each of them
- 23:48Speaker 2: kind of expressing like it. I decided, after crashing my
- 23:51Speaker 2: life in that new direction, probably show up to therapy
- 23:54Speaker 2: and figure out how I'm supposed to do this for real? Right,
- 23:56Speaker 2: But it's it's I think I just appreciate Jeff talking
- 23:59Speaker 2: about as a man, culture sometimes stifling him, teaching him
- 24:05Speaker 2: growing up. Maybe it's best if you just keep your
- 24:07Speaker 2: mouth shut. Nobody's really interested in this. You're just gonna
- 24:10Speaker 2: bother people or frighten them with your emotions. And then
- 24:14Speaker 2: I think as we grow up, finding that there are
- 24:16Speaker 2: some channels and there are some content creators that are
- 24:19Speaker 2: creating space for that, but unfortunately a lot of that
- 24:22Speaker 2: has gotten co opted by I think we've talked about
- 24:24Speaker 2: this past, like toxic masculinity, you know, which I think
- 24:27Speaker 2: we both hate that term. It's a slippery slope, but
- 24:29Speaker 2: I think, yeah, it's unfortunate that like it takes this
- 24:32Speaker 2: vitriol sort of flavor to it. That's that's unfortunate. You know,
- 24:36Speaker 2: we're not just being vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable,
- 24:38Speaker 2: and sometimes just owning it without the sense of like
- 24:41Speaker 2: I have to, you know, write the ship or get
- 24:43Speaker 2: out there and do something and.
- 24:45Speaker 1: Oh my good pay.
- 24:46Speaker 7: I had the most fun last week reading through a
- 24:49Speaker 7: BuzzFeed article about toxic masculinity. Things that people have heard
- 24:53Speaker 7: and I was reading through them. I'm sorry, not toxic, well,
- 24:57Speaker 7: it's toxic masculinity, but it's like things that make you
- 25:00Speaker 7: gay is the title of it, Like what people say
- 25:02Speaker 7: make you gay?
- 25:03Speaker 1: Right, you're gay if you share, if you yeah, okay.
- 25:07Speaker 3: Wash your booty hole or whatever, like all these things.
- 25:09Speaker 1: But it's true though.
- 25:11Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just convenient that.
- 25:13Speaker 3: One was like and they're like, that is not a
- 25:15Speaker 3: youphem it.
- 25:17Speaker 2: Yeah, he's just delicious. I didn't realize I was gay
- 25:22Speaker 2: the whole time.
- 25:22Speaker 1: It was so far out of two things. I'm too
- 25:25Speaker 1: for the enjoying adet enjoying a good key.
- 25:35Speaker 3: Enjoying food in general, like drinking fruit. You drink, so.
- 25:40Speaker 1: You know, that was really fun.
- 25:42Speaker 4: Anytime we go someplace, it never fucking fails. And I
- 25:45Speaker 4: order a cocktail and I have no idea what it's
- 25:47Speaker 4: going to look like. Yeah, it always comes outsus flowers
- 25:53Speaker 4: on it.
- 25:53Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful. Who had this drink? Yeah? Yeah mine, sir, yes, yes,
- 26:02Speaker 1: but yeah.
- 26:02Speaker 7: The rest of the weekend, I was just like anything,
- 26:04Speaker 7: like Peter sneezes, I'm like gay, I like anything.
- 26:12Speaker 1: Yeah. I went through a.
- 26:13Speaker 2: Phase where I would only drink smeiringo off ice because
- 26:16Speaker 2: I was at a bar once and asked for a
- 26:18Speaker 2: smeiring off ice randomly and the lady made fun of
- 26:21Speaker 2: that good and I was like okay, and she's like,
- 26:25Speaker 2: what are you gay? And I was like, no, pretty straight.
- 26:28Speaker 2: But also now I'm just mad at you, Like now
- 26:31Speaker 2: I think you know on behalf of anybody who likes this,
- 26:34Speaker 2: and why not my gay brothers?
- 26:35Speaker 1: Yeah, fuck you the time.
- 26:39Speaker 5: I don't want to shame you, would call you gay
- 26:41Speaker 5: for drinking spirit off ice. I just wanted to shame
- 26:43Speaker 5: you for drinking spirit off Yeah, I don't want to
- 26:48Speaker 5: call you.
- 26:50Speaker 4: What would have been really funny is if it made
- 26:52Speaker 4: you like self conscious and you're like.
- 26:54Speaker 1: Oh, oh, I mean I mean zema.
- 26:57Speaker 2: Clearly not not as sir.
- 27:02Speaker 1: Yeah that's right. Yeah, white claw Now it's cool.
- 27:04Speaker 2: Everybody can do that exactly. So anyway, Jeff, I think
- 27:08Speaker 2: you should definitely drink white Claw. I think that'll solve it.
- 27:11Speaker 2: But I really like this question, and and you know,
- 27:13Speaker 2: as far as like starting this process of journaling, I
- 27:16Speaker 2: like using the AIS. I think the as really give
- 27:18Speaker 2: great prompts. Now, I like the journals. There's a lot
- 27:22Speaker 2: of like anonymous conversation websites now that you know, as
- 27:26Speaker 2: long as they can be truly anonymous in like open
- 27:29Speaker 2: share formats, I've seen that. I think there's one called
- 27:32Speaker 2: like seven Cups or seven cups of Tea or something
- 27:35Speaker 2: like that.
- 27:35Speaker 1: Seven Girls, one cup. Yeah, that's it.
- 27:40Speaker 2: I found it fascinating.
- 27:41Speaker 1: I just really touched.
- 27:44Speaker 2: Yeah, no, Google or do if you want to have
- 27:46Speaker 2: a good time depends. Yeah, you just want to live
- 27:51Speaker 2: a little or have something to journal about. After you
- 27:54Speaker 2: see that, you'll be like, I have a lot to say.
- 27:56Speaker 2: I'm feeling a lot of feels, but.
- 27:58Speaker 1: I like stuff like that.
- 27:59Speaker 2: I think that there's a lot more like on ramps
- 28:01Speaker 2: now to accessing this this general insight for oneself.
- 28:07Speaker 1: I really like it, you know, but I also liked
- 28:08Speaker 1: the idea of.
- 28:09Speaker 2: It just being completely private, like for me, collaborative journaling.
- 28:13Speaker 2: Like do you guys remember live journal back in the day, uhh,
- 28:16Speaker 2: when we were young. Live journal was like one of
- 28:18Speaker 2: this similar to MySpace five years ago. Yeah, it was
- 28:22Speaker 2: similar to MySpace. It was like this micro blogging website.
- 28:25Speaker 2: It was live journal, and so people would post things.
- 28:27Speaker 2: You could post them completely privately, or you could post
- 28:30Speaker 2: them and have people read them. No, it was a blog,
- 28:33Speaker 2: but like that was a place where a lot of
- 28:35Speaker 2: people were just like back in the early MySpace days.
- 28:37Speaker 2: That's what a post was, is you just like post
- 28:39Speaker 2: your thoughts and it wasn't necessarily this collaborative tagging thing.
- 28:44Speaker 2: It was meant to be pensive and like it was
- 28:46Speaker 2: very emo, like that space was occupied by people that
- 28:49Speaker 2: were like, you know, do you ever look at a
- 28:51Speaker 2: feather and just like notice, and like it's just like
- 28:53Speaker 2: all this deep thoughts, right, and like people were just
- 28:56Speaker 2: doing that and then it got smaller and smaller. But anyway,
- 28:58Speaker 2: I've never been to like collaborative of journaling in that way.
- 29:01Speaker 2: For me, Jeff, It's always been like I'll sit down
- 29:05Speaker 2: and I'll just when i'm I'll start my questioning by saying,
- 29:08Speaker 2: what emotion words am I feeling right now? And I
- 29:11Speaker 2: have like a handout that I'll go to the wheel
- 29:14Speaker 2: of feel, and I'll use that to sort of like
- 29:16Speaker 2: try to identify which big picture motions I'm feeling and
- 29:19Speaker 2: then zoom into smaller and smaller nuances until I can
- 29:23Speaker 2: like wrap my mind around like yeah, that word captures
- 29:26Speaker 2: what I'm feeling, and then I'll start my journaling there
- 29:29Speaker 2: and I'll say at the top of my journal today,
- 29:30Speaker 2: I'm feeling this word, and here's why I think I've
- 29:34Speaker 2: arrived at that feeling today, and then I'm just processing
- 29:37Speaker 2: the events of my life that left me feeling that
- 29:40Speaker 2: way and kind of auditing it. And sometimes like by
- 29:43Speaker 2: doing that, I'm proofreading my emotions and oftentimes we'll read
- 29:46Speaker 2: my way out of them or write my way out
- 29:48Speaker 2: of them, or I'll come out and be like, you
- 29:49Speaker 2: know what, at the end of this writing, I think
- 29:51Speaker 2: I've realizing I shouldn't feel that way. That was it
- 29:54Speaker 2: was me coming to a different conclusion at the end
- 29:57Speaker 2: of this, having processed this, I think I'm actually feeling
- 29:59Speaker 2: this way.
- 30:00Speaker 1: About the situation. So like for me that that's a
- 30:03Speaker 1: good prompt that leads me good direct.
- 30:05Speaker 4: Well, I mean, yeah, we used to start every day
- 30:09Speaker 4: that way. At many rehabs that I worked at. It
- 30:13Speaker 4: was always like you always start the day with identifying
- 30:17Speaker 4: how are you feeling right now? Like what what is
- 30:20Speaker 4: the starting point? So that you know, because then it
- 30:23Speaker 4: kind of puts everything that day into a context. So
- 30:26Speaker 4: if I can understand, like like I can wake up
- 30:29Speaker 4: in the morning, I can just check in with myself
- 30:31Speaker 4: and I realize I'm feeling very self conscious right then
- 30:34Speaker 4: now it's like, okay, everything I experience I kind of remember, well,
- 30:38Speaker 4: I've already identified this, so this is this filtering how
- 30:41Speaker 4: I'm you know, seeing things the rest of the day.
- 30:44Speaker 2: Yes, you know, it's fascinating how we as humans, so
- 30:47Speaker 2: much of our behavior, the way we think, the way
- 30:50Speaker 2: we treat other people can all be through this unconscious
- 30:54Speaker 2: lens of how you are feeling, which is why there
- 30:57Speaker 2: is that trope of therapist.
- 30:58Speaker 1: Saying how does that make you feel? Like, oh what
- 31:00Speaker 1: a dumb question is? Like is it?
- 31:02Speaker 5: Is it?
- 31:03Speaker 2: How are you feeling right now? And it's fascinating when
- 31:05Speaker 2: you throw that at people and they're like, fuck, okay, wow.
- 31:10Speaker 2: If I would do that, if I would ask that
- 31:12Speaker 2: question periodically, I'll bet you i'd like stop hurting a
- 31:14Speaker 2: lot of people in my life, Like yeah, no maybe.
- 31:18Speaker 2: So starting from that lens, Jeff, I think is a
- 31:20Speaker 2: great way to do it. But I love this question.
- 31:22Speaker 2: I also love you role modeling for a lot of
- 31:25Speaker 2: listeners and you know, yes, especially the male audience, like, hey,
- 31:28Speaker 2: this is healthy. We got to do this work, you know,
- 31:31Speaker 2: we got to sit down and notice these unconscious things,
- 31:34Speaker 2: the things that steer us in life. As Jeff said
- 31:36Speaker 2: for himself and also for some of his goals. He
- 31:39Speaker 2: wants to be a good partner. He wants to be,
- 31:41Speaker 2: you know, a good friend. He wants to be a
- 31:42Speaker 2: good romantic partner. He knows he needs to clear his
- 31:45Speaker 2: mind's eye and access that inner truth in order to
- 31:48Speaker 2: be self aware. Right, Because if you're blowing up on
- 31:50Speaker 2: your partner or you're like, oh, I'm feeling insecure or
- 31:53Speaker 2: jealous and like, that might be a you thing, right,
- 31:56Speaker 2: And if you were doing better journaling throughout the beginning
- 31:58Speaker 2: of the relationship, you might have noticed that and had
- 32:00Speaker 2: a way to think that through, so you didn't make
- 32:02Speaker 2: that your partner's problem, right, catching these things earlier on.
- 32:05Speaker 2: I love this kind of work. So good luck with that, Jeff,
- 32:08Speaker 2: And we'll get you that pod Therapy Guided Meditations log.
- 32:11Speaker 1: I'm willing to take the lead on that. If you
- 32:13Speaker 1: want to take the lead on.
- 32:14Speaker 2: Then we could do a really fun project. I think
- 32:18Speaker 2: we should things with all original pod therapy. All right,
- 32:22Speaker 2: here's the thing. We got the journal, We've got the
- 32:25Speaker 2: theme song. Yeah, and we have the pod therapy calendar.
- 32:28Speaker 2: We're still working on that, yeah, the Bourdois calendar, and
- 32:31Speaker 2: the book club. There's also the book club.
- 32:35Speaker 1: It still exists. It's out there.
- 32:37Speaker 2: Ye afterthoughts is another subproject that does exist in the history.
- 32:43Speaker 1: Yeah, I have our internship.
- 32:44Speaker 5: Now tell you what, because we had interns, we had
- 32:46Speaker 5: all these people that want to do stuff. Yeah, if
- 32:48Speaker 5: you want to put together a guided journaling exercise.
- 32:52Speaker 1: For the four of us, Oh, there's the four of us.
- 32:56Speaker 5: You could put together like a ten or twenty question
- 32:59Speaker 5: of form for each of us to fill. There you go,
- 33:02Speaker 5: and we could write down questions, we could answer, questions
- 33:05Speaker 5: are ready to be done, and then you can put
- 33:07Speaker 5: that together and send that over to us and we'll publicize.
- 33:10Speaker 1: It out there you go.
- 33:12Speaker 2: That's the guided journal is, like, it's not just your answers.
- 33:14Speaker 2: You write yours, and then you get to see all
- 33:16Speaker 2: of our answers too.
- 33:17Speaker 1: I'll I I wasn't even thinking about that, but yes,
- 33:19Speaker 1: that could be fine.
- 33:20Speaker 5: I was thinking we would just write down, you know,
- 33:22Speaker 5: based on different criteria, different questions to have go into
- 33:27Speaker 5: the guided journal.
- 33:28Speaker 1: But I like our answers being there as.
- 33:29Speaker 2: Well also as a role model, right, because then people
- 33:32Speaker 2: could be like, how would you answer this kind of question?
- 33:33Speaker 2: Like you read a bunch of therapists answer that and
- 33:36Speaker 2: life coach is distinguished like.
- 33:37Speaker 1: Thank you. That could be kind of cool, Doctor Life coach, Yes, yes,
- 33:41Speaker 1: thank you.
- 33:41Speaker 4: How about five dollars for the journal that we write, Yeah,
- 33:45Speaker 4: twenty dollars for the answers that we there.
- 33:48Speaker 7: It is.
- 33:51Speaker 2: Each and Jacob's is thirty because those are the juicy ones.
- 33:55Speaker 2: Nobody clamoring to find out what iowa next. We all
- 34:00Speaker 2: want to hear Jacob show. Jacobs, you have to prove
- 34:02Speaker 2: your age take Yeah, the verification panel.
- 34:08Speaker 5: You don't because jim Son is going to explain them
- 34:11Speaker 5: to you anyway.
- 34:12Speaker 1: That's right. He's gonna explain all of my answers to
- 34:14Speaker 1: you in depth. Lord, his son will do the audio. Yeah,
- 34:18Speaker 1: that's the audio version. I'm just saying. Oh, I know
- 34:22Speaker 1: for a fact that jim will not be on board
- 34:25Speaker 1: in sudden this. That's right, he should.
- 34:28Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll leave him out of this anyway, Jeff, great question.
- 34:31Speaker 2: Thanks for giving us a new project idea. We will
- 34:33Speaker 2: let you get back to it, and when we come back,
- 34:36Speaker 2: we are answering questions on financial anxiety. You're listening to Pop.
- 34:44Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Robert Ronnie Junior, Men's,
- 34:47Speaker 4: Kale Landsberry, Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway.
- 34:51Speaker 1: Dan Martin Live, Hey o, Andrew.
- 34:54Speaker 4: Lang Mead and would you like sponsor the show? You
- 34:57Speaker 4: should become a therap producer patreon dot com slash therapy
- 35:00Speaker 4: do it for the.
- 35:02Speaker 5: Late Game has just ended in the n C double
- 35:04Speaker 5: a March Madness, Jim's place in the order is unchanged.
- 35:10Speaker 2: Ah no, I just saw the shuffle happen. Okay, Jesus dude,
- 35:14Speaker 2: Whitney's in fourth place.
- 35:16Speaker 1: She's leading the pack.
- 35:18Speaker 2: Damn Nix at seven.
- 35:20Speaker 4: Peter's doing great this year, Jim still.
- 35:24Speaker 2: Jacob's at ten.
- 35:26Speaker 1: I'm dead.
- 35:28Speaker 4: Anyway. Trivia, so I'm getting hungry, all right, Eighties movie
- 35:33Speaker 4: trivia or movie quotes? Okay, uh, well, you're gonna give
- 35:39Speaker 4: us a quote.
- 35:40Speaker 1: We have to give you the movie?
- 35:41Speaker 2: Yes, okay, shoot from the hip for two options for one, Jim.
- 35:45Speaker 1: Roads where we're going. We don't need roads.
- 35:48Speaker 4: Give me terminator.
- 35:51Speaker 1: See the question is which one? So I know it's
- 35:55Speaker 1: why yeah, part one. That's right, Debbie does Dallas.
- 36:02Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it's definitely back to the Future, and
- 36:04Speaker 2: I'm wondering if it's the end the Back of the
- 36:06Speaker 2: Future one. Give me back to the Future one you sure.
- 36:11Speaker 2: I think it is because they lead. Yeah, I think
- 36:13Speaker 2: it's cars. Well number two does, but I think you
- 36:15Speaker 2: got to lead into that with the hook. Okay, it's
- 36:17Speaker 2: gotta be the hook of one. Give me one back
- 36:19Speaker 2: in the future one it is. Yes, take those two.
- 36:23Speaker 1: Points, Whitney. I feel the need the need first. Jesus
- 36:29Speaker 1: Christ got it. Jesus, I'm not even checking these no. A.
- 36:35Speaker 5: There used to be a player who played for the
- 36:36Speaker 5: New Orleans Saint. It's called Willie Snead, and there would
- 36:39Speaker 5: often be signs for him.
- 36:40Speaker 1: There was I feel the need, the need for thing
- 36:45Speaker 1: that could have ever happened. That's pretty good.
- 36:48Speaker 5: There was a player who played for l s U.
- 36:50Speaker 5: He went he went pro at some point, but his
- 36:52Speaker 5: name was Jarkivius Mingo and uh and so it was
- 36:56Speaker 5: common to see signs the mingo ate my baby, Mingovius
- 37:06Speaker 5: mingo ate my baby.
- 37:09Speaker 4: Okay, Uh, Jacob top Gun, I guess goes gun to nobody.
- 37:17Speaker 4: Nobody puts baby in a corner up, yes, yes, yeah,
- 37:22Speaker 4: that would be.
- 37:23Speaker 1: Oh what's the day with that? Damn it?
- 37:28Speaker 3: Earlier for top and I'm like, shoot, what's the name
- 37:30Speaker 3: about Naverick?
- 37:32Speaker 4: Jim don't cross the streams oh, Ghostbusters, Debbie does Ghostbusters, hebby, don't.
- 37:39Speaker 1: Cross the Shop.
- 37:40Speaker 3: I'm glad Jim because I wouldn't have guessed either.
- 37:44Speaker 4: When you grow Up your Heart Dies options.
- 37:49Speaker 2: Jim's journal final answer.
- 37:51Speaker 4: Okay, options are There's nineteen eighty nine, Pretty in Pink
- 37:56Speaker 4: nineteen eighty six, the Breakfast Club nineteen eighty five, or
- 38:00Speaker 4: almost fire.
- 38:01Speaker 1: Oh my god, those are all very hack.
- 38:07Speaker 7: When you grow up your Heart diest science there.
- 38:12Speaker 3: Is the yeah Breakfast, like we're saying almost far.
- 38:16Speaker 1: But I think.
- 38:20Speaker 4: I was going to go.
- 38:23Speaker 1: It's only one point I was, but I was.
- 38:26Speaker 7: Like, I haven't seen saying almost fire. I think it's
- 38:30Speaker 7: when Molly Ringwald is talking to the bad kid, the one.
- 38:35Speaker 3: With the long hair.
- 38:36Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Judd Nelson, Yeah.
- 38:38Speaker 7: And I think one of them says it because it's
- 38:40Speaker 7: a terrible childhood's right, something like.
- 38:44Speaker 1: That, Jacob as you wish, Oh coming nailed it obviously
- 38:53Speaker 1: by the character Alison Reynolds.
- 38:55Speaker 5: When you grew Up your Heart Dies said by Alison
- 38:57Speaker 5: Reynolds character expressingly your fear of losing her individuality and
- 39:01Speaker 5: passion as she matures.
- 39:03Speaker 1: Also Princess Bride, Yes got it, good to go, back and.
- 39:10Speaker 2: Watch those teens.
- 39:11Speaker 1: Okay, I don't, I can't watch them.
- 39:14Speaker 7: I just told my best friend yesterday that I've known
- 39:17Speaker 7: sin as ten I said, I want to just fly
- 39:18Speaker 7: out to see you for a weekend and just watch
- 39:20Speaker 7: old movies, including Now and Then and all those movies.
- 39:23Speaker 3: Basically, the pat.
- 39:24Speaker 1: Movies hold up better than a lot of the others
- 39:27Speaker 1: for the time they did try to take on something.
- 39:30Speaker 5: A lot of them do, not all of them, like
- 39:32Speaker 5: like Pretty in Pink does all the Valley Girls stuff.
- 39:35Speaker 1: That's that gets a little dated. It's a little it's
- 39:37Speaker 1: not like upsetting or any think. It's just dated.
- 39:40Speaker 2: Yeah. I watch a lot of kids movies, but once
- 39:43Speaker 2: I start.
- 39:44Speaker 1: Watching you watch them with your kids. Yes, interesting, Well, without.
- 39:47Speaker 2: Them, they're good movies. But yeah, teenage angst films, I
- 39:51Speaker 2: just start this is so, I'm.
- 39:53Speaker 5: Much better with teenage inks films than I am with
- 39:56Speaker 5: adult angst films.
- 39:57Speaker 1: Thank you, at least the characters together.
- 40:00Speaker 5: When I watch a fuck like Avengers Infinity War, the
- 40:05Speaker 5: entire movie is about a group of adults who can't
- 40:08Speaker 5: just say hey, sorry, okay.
- 40:11Speaker 3: That drives me crazy.
- 40:12Speaker 1: That's the end of the movie.
- 40:14Speaker 5: That movie should be ten minutes long, because it's like, oh,
- 40:17Speaker 5: Captain America can't say sorry to Iron Man.
- 40:20Speaker 1: I think he means civil or vice versa Infinity War whatever.
- 40:23Speaker 1: It was a little bit.
- 40:24Speaker 2: The thanks were a bit higher in Infinity War. Fuck
- 40:26Speaker 2: you in your Civil war disagreement. An office disagreement leads
- 40:30Speaker 2: to a lot of bad stuff and a guy gets paralyzed,
- 40:33Speaker 2: you know that spoiler.
- 40:35Speaker 1: I won't tell which one does he though, because it doesn't.
- 40:38Speaker 4: I mean, I mean he gets if Yeah, but like
- 40:41Speaker 4: if technology is now like if it was really like that, Yeah, paralyzed,
- 40:47Speaker 4: ain't that bad? Like he walks around just fine, like
- 40:50Speaker 4: he just yeah, it's just like I don't Yeah, like
- 40:52Speaker 4: if you can.
- 40:52Speaker 5: Do if you've got winner soldier technology, all of a sudden,
- 40:57Speaker 5: getting your arm amputated isn't a big deal.
- 41:00Speaker 1: Yeah it is when you go to jerk it maybe
- 41:03Speaker 1: for you or I love the stranger. Is it better?
- 41:07Speaker 1: I don't know. But that thing can rip the top
- 41:09Speaker 1: off a tank. You really want to throw those dice
- 41:14Speaker 1: right you're enjoying yourself. Yeah, it can do that.
- 41:17Speaker 5: I don't know.
- 41:17Speaker 1: It can also do a lot of stuff, and I
- 41:23Speaker 1: will have I will not apologize. No, it's gonna be
- 41:26Speaker 1: a fucking animal balloon when you're done, I can want this.
- 41:29Speaker 1: I can put that thing a cruise control lead back
- 41:33Speaker 1: and enjoy the ride. I don't know, man, I'm not
- 41:40Speaker 1: throwing the dice on that. It's I'm good to go.
- 41:45Speaker 7: I don't know.
- 41:46Speaker 2: Just the dangerous game, just the world's most dangerous. If
- 41:49Speaker 2: I'm gonna lose my arm, I hope it's my left
- 41:52Speaker 2: all right. So Nick has left the studio, which I
- 41:55Speaker 2: think is the end of trivia. I assume that just
- 41:57Speaker 2: means that's.
- 41:58Speaker 1: The end of the Nick is thirsty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 42:01Speaker 1: We all answer two questions. Yeah, one of us answered
- 42:04Speaker 1: one of them for only one point. That's right.
- 42:06Speaker 2: We are off to a great lead.
- 42:08Speaker 3: I'm just glad I didn't have Jim's questions.
- 42:09Speaker 1: I was like, no, no financial anxiety from Chris. Hi.
- 42:15Speaker 2: I listened to the question from Anan a wife, and
- 42:17Speaker 2: felt compelled to participate. I feel like this is a
- 42:20Speaker 2: question my ex could have asked about our relationship. Well,
- 42:24Speaker 2: it still was a relationship, of course, and since I
- 42:27Speaker 2: feel spiritually connected to the husband of a not a wife,
- 42:30Speaker 2: I feel like I should add my point of view
- 42:32Speaker 2: and ask a question at the same time. So I'll
- 42:34Speaker 2: pause here so we can remind the listeners and probably ourselves.
- 42:38Speaker 2: The last episode, I think we had a question from
- 42:40Speaker 2: an a wife and it was always about they came
- 42:44Speaker 2: into money and their upper middle class have always.
- 42:46Speaker 3: Had relationships everywhere else.
- 42:48Speaker 1: Yep. Some people come into tissues, some people come into money.
- 42:51Speaker 2: There is depends on what Yeah you do you the
- 42:54Speaker 2: same point.
- 42:59Speaker 4: As evidenced by my third hand down microwave, Yeah.
- 43:05Speaker 5: Microwave Athough, I do like going to Chase every now
- 43:07Speaker 5: and then, getting nice roll of pities and just.
- 43:14Speaker 1: I love this show. I don't give a shit anymore.
- 43:17Speaker 1: It's great. Nobody can do what we do. What the fuck?
- 43:20Speaker 5: Oh?
- 43:20Speaker 1: Yes, a not a wife? So an not a wife's
- 43:21Speaker 1: tell any money? Yeah?
- 43:23Speaker 2: Was that husband felt a little bit of financial kind
- 43:28Speaker 2: of fear because he had put a bunch of money
- 43:30Speaker 2: down on their first house, ended up wiping out their liquidity.
- 43:33Speaker 1: He messed up a little bit. Yep. Then they ended up.
- 43:35Speaker 2: Inheriting some more money, and she's saying, hey, let's start
- 43:38Speaker 2: doing some home maintenance, let's start planning for the future.
- 43:41Speaker 2: And he freezes and paralyzed and he can't talk about
- 43:43Speaker 2: money and not a wife's like, Hey, this kind of sucks.
- 43:46Speaker 2: Not sure how to help this person. So that's what
- 43:48Speaker 2: Chris is talking about now. Chris's letter resumes here. My
- 43:51Speaker 2: last long relationship ended in part because of arguments about money.
- 43:55Speaker 2: My ex came from a rich family, had a safe job,
- 43:58Speaker 2: and cared a lot about comfortable things such as a
- 44:02Speaker 2: nice apartment, a nice car, and similar stuff. I grew
- 44:05Speaker 2: up in a very poor family, have experienced losing a
- 44:08Speaker 2: lot of money in a housing crash, and I've experienced
- 44:10Speaker 2: losing my job as a whole industry collapsed, causing me
- 44:14Speaker 2: to have to change my career. So I naturally have
- 44:17Speaker 2: a lot of anxiety about finances, and I've made some
- 44:21Speaker 2: poor choice of decisions fueled by my anxiety. I know
- 44:24Speaker 2: there's not a fixed number I could see in my
- 44:26Speaker 2: bank account that would make me relax, but if I
- 44:29Speaker 2: see the number go down, it would feel like the
- 44:32Speaker 2: end of the world. For a specific example, I've been
- 44:34Speaker 2: considering buying a new car, so naturally, I've been working
- 44:37Speaker 2: eighty five plus hours a week for the last three
- 44:40Speaker 2: months to save money, and I've committed to continue with
- 44:43Speaker 2: that workload for about two additional months. My life is
- 44:46Speaker 2: literally gym, work, food, sleep, and repeat. At this point, also,
- 44:52Speaker 2: I'm currently considering skipping the car and just saving the
- 44:54Speaker 2: money instead, because the number must go up to circle
- 44:58Speaker 2: back to an a wife. My ex had worked in
- 45:01Speaker 2: local politics for a long time and was used to
- 45:03Speaker 2: debating people, and if we would ever have a discussion,
- 45:06Speaker 2: she would likely win. I used to joke about the
- 45:09Speaker 2: fact that if we were to have a debate about
- 45:11Speaker 2: the shape of the Earth, she could likely take the
- 45:13Speaker 2: flat Earth side of the debate and still win against me.
- 45:17Speaker 2: Mostly this was due to what I termed debate endurance.
- 45:20Speaker 2: If I could think of three arguments against buying a
- 45:23Speaker 2: new sofa, she could think of fifteen arguments in favor.
- 45:26Speaker 2: So it always felt like a choice between a just
- 45:30Speaker 2: agree and try to hide the distress I felt about
- 45:32Speaker 2: spending money that I did not feel comfortable spending, b
- 45:36Speaker 2: lose the discussion, and then hide the distress I felt
- 45:39Speaker 2: when we had to get the sofa. Anyways, So I
- 45:42Speaker 2: hope that explains how someone can just suffer and accept
- 45:45Speaker 2: spending money they clearly feel uncomfortable spending, especially if you
- 45:50Speaker 2: know that at some level the distress is a bit irrational.
- 45:53Speaker 2: So here are my actual questions. Number one, how can
- 45:57Speaker 2: I relax a bit around the money issue. I'm thinking
- 46:00Speaker 2: about switching to a less mentally draining job, but I
- 46:02Speaker 2: struggle with the golden handcuffs I currently have. Number two,
- 46:07Speaker 2: how can a person with poor debate endurance deal with
- 46:10Speaker 2: relationships where they often feel pressured into doing things they're
- 46:14Speaker 2: not comfortable with? And three, I have at this point
- 46:17Speaker 2: spent tens of dollars being a patron to this show.
- 46:21Speaker 2: How do I justify that expense to myself? Thanks Chris
- 46:25Speaker 2: pronouns are he and him?
- 46:28Speaker 3: Thank you for the dollars. There's a lot of anxiety
- 46:31Speaker 3: around money.
- 46:34Speaker 2: Person's one hundred to another, so you know we appreciate
- 46:37Speaker 2: every single penny.
- 46:38Speaker 1: I can start at the end of this question and
- 46:40Speaker 1: answer the whole thing.
- 46:40Speaker 4: Do it?
- 46:41Speaker 5: Baby up your patreon to this show. That'll fix it
- 46:45Speaker 5: to the maximum amount of money that you have. Yep,
- 46:47Speaker 5: and then you don't have to worry about that money anymore.
- 46:49Speaker 2: Number one and number two, whatever arguments you have, Jacob
- 46:53Speaker 2: has at least one more at least and if you
- 46:57Speaker 2: don't want that fight, if you don't want to smoke
- 47:00Speaker 2: swipe the car.
- 47:01Speaker 1: That's it, and there won't be no trouble, don't start. No,
- 47:04Speaker 1: there won't.
- 47:06Speaker 2: That is the official motto of pod therapy show that
- 47:09Speaker 2: wants your mental health to improve, but also wants that money.
- 47:14Speaker 1: Anyway.
- 47:16Speaker 2: I'm not afraid to flex the muscle when we have
- 47:22Speaker 2: to pay up or we send the life coach, he's
- 47:24Speaker 2: going to get that wallet. Yeah.
- 47:26Speaker 7: This kind of hits on something I did mention during
- 47:30Speaker 7: that question, which is that we didn't really know how
- 47:33Speaker 7: the writer and not a wife was talking, right spouse,
- 47:37Speaker 7: And like even this current writer, Chris, he him sharing
- 47:42Speaker 7: his perspective. It doesn't even sound like his ex was
- 47:46Speaker 7: trying to like read rude or mean or bulldozer or whatever.
- 47:51Speaker 7: It just sounds like she was trying to share her
- 47:53Speaker 7: point and get what she wanted persuasive.
- 47:56Speaker 3: But the reaction for you is, Okay, I need to
- 47:58Speaker 3: back off.
- 47:59Speaker 7: This is how I'm cope, right, And so I kind
- 48:01Speaker 7: of like that you shared your input because that does
- 48:04Speaker 7: give nuance to a situation that can sometimes feel like, oh,
- 48:07Speaker 7: one person's in the wrong here, and it's not. It's
- 48:09Speaker 7: just both people are coming from their own backgrounds and
- 48:13Speaker 7: coming together and bringing all their shit to the table
- 48:16Speaker 7: and saying, how do how do we decide what's quote
- 48:19Speaker 7: best well to me.
- 48:21Speaker 2: I think one of the things that's really tricky about
- 48:23Speaker 2: financial conversations is that, on one hand, they are and
- 48:29Speaker 2: ought to be hyper rational. You know, you're sitting down
- 48:32Speaker 2: with your spouse and they're saying, look, this is how
- 48:34Speaker 2: the math maths.
- 48:36Speaker 1: Here's why this is.
- 48:37Speaker 2: A good investment, or it's a good use of spending,
- 48:40Speaker 2: or this matters, et cetera, et cetera, and like, that's
- 48:44Speaker 2: a really difficult conversation to have because it presumes that
- 48:47Speaker 2: the entire conversation is just hyper rational. I think it's
- 48:51Speaker 2: really important when you're talking to your partner or anybody
- 48:53Speaker 2: else to upfront acknowledge we're having an emotional and values
- 48:59Speaker 2: based conversation too. For me, I may just value seeing
- 49:04Speaker 2: that number be really big, because every number, every dollar
- 49:08Speaker 2: in there is one dollar further from calamity. And I'll
- 49:12Speaker 2: never feel safe, but I sure as hell feel more
- 49:17Speaker 2: like safe than less safe if that number is bigger. Right,
- 49:20Speaker 2: and so you wanting to buy a two thousand dollars
- 49:22Speaker 2: couch for you, that solves a practical problem. That would
- 49:26Speaker 2: feel nice. There's all these positives For me, I'm two
- 49:30Speaker 2: thousand dollars closer to danger, right, and that frightens me,
- 49:33Speaker 2: or the payments. So, like, I'm a big fan of
- 49:36Speaker 2: not allowing the narrative to take shape that this is
- 49:41Speaker 2: just a hyper rational, mathematical conversation, because it ignores the
- 49:46Speaker 2: reality that money is an emotional conversation and a values
- 49:49Speaker 2: based conversation. And I think whenever you can lead with that, like,
- 49:52Speaker 2: you can't. You can't have a hyper rational conversation about sex.
- 49:55Speaker 1: You know.
- 49:56Speaker 2: You're like talking to your partner and you're like, hey,
- 49:57Speaker 2: I think we should try the back door, and they're like, A,
- 50:00Speaker 2: I don't feel comfortable with that, and like, okay, great,
- 50:02Speaker 2: your discomfort though, needs to be overcome because it's rational.
- 50:04Speaker 2: You can't get pregnant this way. There's no reason we
- 50:07Speaker 2: should be against this. Blah blah blah. Here's ten other
- 50:09Speaker 2: you know, here's a video of how great it feels
- 50:11Speaker 2: like and I want this.
- 50:12Speaker 1: This is.
- 50:14Speaker 2: And so like you, you would never presume to be
- 50:16Speaker 2: able to have a hyper rational conversation about anal I
- 50:19Speaker 2: don't think you can do it about finances.
- 50:21Speaker 1: I sense this is Jim's next book.
- 50:24Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I have some arguments. Okay, I just want
- 50:27Speaker 2: to be hurt.
- 50:28Speaker 1: I just want to be hurt.
- 50:29Speaker 5: Okay, talking your partner into anal and other dad vice ways, why.
- 50:39Speaker 1: Do we only have you two as our kids? How
- 50:42Speaker 1: Daddy won this argument?
- 50:45Speaker 2: But like, nobody would presume that other types of conversations
- 50:49Speaker 2: can just be had hyper rationally, because you understand that
- 50:53Speaker 2: there's an emotion to this that even if I can
- 50:55Speaker 2: logically win the argument, I can still fail to bring
- 50:58Speaker 2: you along with me. And even if I win, it's
- 51:01Speaker 2: uncomfortable for you all the anal So like, I think
- 51:04Speaker 2: the same thing here with finance is like, even if
- 51:06Speaker 2: you win the sofa conversation, they're not going to enjoy
- 51:09Speaker 2: sitting on it. Man, this really lines up with the
- 51:11Speaker 2: anal thing, because again, you didn't get their emotional consent,
- 51:15Speaker 2: and I feel like emotional consent is a big part
- 51:18Speaker 2: of how you make sofa decisions.
- 51:20Speaker 1: Like I hope you like really good. I mean, I
- 51:25Speaker 1: don't know if any of it stands up well on
- 51:27Speaker 1: its own.
- 51:30Speaker 2: A lot of listeners are nodding along right now, like, no,
- 51:32Speaker 2: he's he's right. I don't know how to explain it,
- 51:34Speaker 2: but he's right.
- 51:37Speaker 1: The same thing, they're real close. I mean, they're real close.
- 51:40Speaker 2: Emotional consent, And.
- 51:42Speaker 7: The question that you bring up is how do you
- 51:47Speaker 7: get past the irrational side of the emotion? Right, Like,
- 51:51Speaker 7: how when does it stop being like, Okay, we have
- 51:55Speaker 7: emotions tied to this, yes, because there is emotion tied
- 51:58Speaker 7: to money. But point do we stop? Like I love
- 52:01Speaker 7: that the writer that Chris even shared. Every time I
- 52:04Speaker 7: see the number go up, I like that boat, Right,
- 52:06Speaker 7: where's the limit?
- 52:07Speaker 2: I won't even buy the car I'm saving up for,
- 52:09Speaker 2: right because all this bonus money that I set aside
- 52:12Speaker 2: for this car, now I look at it.
- 52:14Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I don't want to lose a
- 52:15Speaker 1: lot of money. That's scary to let.
- 52:19Speaker 4: Relate to that, Yes, because that's what I've been doing
- 52:22Speaker 4: over the last like, you know, five years, as I've
- 52:25Speaker 4: just been slowly building up my emergency fund, right, and
- 52:29Speaker 4: you know, like I had a number that I needed
- 52:31Speaker 4: to hit for to feel comfortable at is an emergency fund?
- 52:35Speaker 3: You gauge that based on months?
- 52:36Speaker 2: Like I think it just ends in sixty nine. I
- 52:39Speaker 2: think that's always happened.
- 52:40Speaker 3: That a given six.
- 52:44Speaker 4: Is what I was very plazivio.
- 52:50Speaker 3: Maybe you'll are twelve, I heard, I hear.
- 52:54Speaker 1: Whatever gets you there?
- 52:55Speaker 4: Man, whatever the age you can sent. So I had
- 53:02Speaker 4: this number in mind. I hit that number, and then
- 53:05Speaker 4: I was just kind of like, oh, let's see, let's
- 53:07Speaker 4: keep going, you know. And then and then it's like, okay, well,
- 53:11Speaker 4: I've got enough now where I can take X amount
- 53:14Speaker 4: of dollars put that towards the down payment of this
- 53:16Speaker 4: new vehicle. And I'm still I still have my original
- 53:23Speaker 4: goal right in there. But boy did it hurt, Like
- 53:28Speaker 4: it really hurts to see that. And even though yeah,
- 53:32Speaker 4: but like you know, everything and so everything is relative, right,
- 53:35Speaker 4: So prior to having that goal, it seems so far away.
- 53:40Speaker 4: And then I passed it, and then I went way
- 53:42Speaker 4: past it, and then looking back and seeing that same
- 53:45Speaker 4: number from the other side was scary.
- 53:48Speaker 5: Yes, at that same rationale is how problem gamblers, of course,
- 53:52Speaker 5: keep going past the point where they win and keep
- 53:55Speaker 5: on playing until they lose it all again.
- 53:56Speaker 7: Yes.
- 53:57Speaker 2: Well, and there's that old joke by Chris Rock that says,
- 54:00Speaker 2: you know this is dated now, but he said, if
- 54:01Speaker 2: Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah Winfrey's money, he
- 54:04Speaker 2: jump off a building and set his throat on the
- 54:05Speaker 2: way down, right, you know, And it's it's just that
- 54:08Speaker 2: that that perspective of any of us to have Oprah
- 54:10Speaker 2: Winfrey's money be the luckiest person on earth. But if
- 54:12Speaker 2: you've surpassed a number and now you're reduced to that number,
- 54:16Speaker 2: there's a horrible sense of loss.
- 54:19Speaker 1: And it feels like you're in free fall and fairness.
- 54:21Speaker 5: I bet Bill Gates' mental health would still be okay
- 54:24Speaker 5: if he just woke up with the Oprah's money.
- 54:25Speaker 1: I bet it'd be really surprised. Yeah, but I bet
- 54:28Speaker 1: it's stay on the building.
- 54:29Speaker 2: Yeah, well today I think I think twenty twenty five
- 54:31Speaker 2: Bill Gates he.
- 54:32Speaker 1: Could handle it. Yeah, there's a version of Bill. I
- 54:34Speaker 1: don't think good.
- 54:35Speaker 3: No, I don't really, but yeah, how to how do
- 54:40Speaker 3: you navigate that? And how do you adjust?
- 54:42Speaker 7: I do tend to want to go a little bit
- 54:45Speaker 7: the logic row and say and try your best to
- 54:48Speaker 7: look at your finances from a standpoint of because you've
- 54:52Speaker 7: had such loss, I mean going through lost through a
- 54:55Speaker 7: housing market, your whole job, you know, like just market
- 55:02Speaker 7: going away. That would be horrible and scary. If someone
- 55:05Speaker 7: said there's no therapists anymore, AI is taken over by ooh,
- 55:09Speaker 7: that would that would hit pretty hard.
- 55:11Speaker 1: And so.
- 55:13Speaker 7: I think trying your best to kind of like ground yourself,
- 55:17Speaker 7: bring yourself back to reality, and say, this is what
- 55:20Speaker 7: I'm doing now. This is how much I'm making. Uh,
- 55:23Speaker 7: this is how much rent, mortgage, whatever, food, all that costs.
- 55:27Speaker 7: This is my emergency fund. Set that emergency fund higher.
- 55:30Speaker 3: Set it for if I went two years without work.
- 55:33Speaker 3: I don't care.
- 55:34Speaker 7: It can be it can be more. But but I
- 55:37Speaker 7: think there does need to be a cap on it
- 55:40Speaker 7: to say, this is what I'm telling myself, this is
- 55:43Speaker 7: what I'm sticking to. And as you look through and
- 55:46Speaker 7: see that this is doable, this is achievable, our thoughts
- 55:50Speaker 7: will affect our emotions, you know, and CBTs.
- 55:53Speaker 3: That's yeah.
- 55:53Speaker 4: I think there's the thing that I always like to
- 55:56Speaker 4: kind of remind myself too, is that I'm not going
- 56:00Speaker 4: to be able to take any of this with me, right,
- 56:03Speaker 4: you know. And so that's the other thing, you know,
- 56:05Speaker 4: Like I think, I I don't want to die poor,
- 56:10Speaker 4: but I also don't want to die with a whole
- 56:12Speaker 4: bunch of money. Yeah, you know, because then it's kind
- 56:15Speaker 4: of like I do need to die with the whole
- 56:20Speaker 4: bunch of money.
- 56:20Speaker 2: As long as we're in the trusty, as long as
- 56:25Speaker 2: it's pot therapy.
- 56:26Speaker 1: Money I'm great with.
- 56:27Speaker 4: So yeah, So it's I remember back in the day
- 56:31Speaker 4: when I really was in NASCAR, into NASCAR and like
- 56:34Speaker 4: watching a lot of the races and stuff. They you
- 56:36Speaker 4: know that they would say, like, the best engine is
- 56:40Speaker 4: the engine that blows right after you've crossed the finish line.
- 56:46Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you know, because it's like it's pushed to
- 56:48Speaker 2: the upper limit, pushed to the.
- 56:50Speaker 4: Absolute limit, and then it was done right, there was
- 56:53Speaker 4: nothing left, gave up every single thing. And so that's
- 56:56Speaker 4: kind of I guess kind of how I feel like
- 56:58Speaker 4: with money in a way too, is like I I,
- 57:01Speaker 4: I I don't want to die with absolutely nothing, but
- 57:04Speaker 4: like if I were to just die with a million
- 57:08Speaker 4: dollars in the bank, part of me would be upset
- 57:12Speaker 4: and like, oh, what could I have done with that?
- 57:14Speaker 4: I like, what kind of experiences could I have had?
- 57:17Speaker 1: Uh?
- 57:18Speaker 4: You know, even if it's you know, even if it's
- 57:20Speaker 4: not like just me doing ship with it, could I
- 57:23Speaker 4: have done something uh philanthropic with it?
- 57:26Speaker 2: It is interesting though, because, like the writer, but.
- 57:31Speaker 1: I won't get to feel the feeling.
- 57:32Speaker 2: I want people to know, I know, I want you
- 57:36Speaker 2: to admire me to my face, not at my grave.
- 57:38Speaker 2: I can't hear that.
- 57:40Speaker 4: I can't hear thank you when I'm dead. I can't
- 57:43Speaker 4: hear you saved my life. Yeah, no, like that, burn
- 57:47Speaker 4: the money.
- 57:47Speaker 2: I don't give a ship, don't don't put a dollar
- 57:50Speaker 2: into that children's hospital.
- 57:52Speaker 1: It was. I can hear the thank you? Burn it.
- 57:56Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
- 57:57Speaker 1: No, but I understand that that theory.
- 57:59Speaker 2: It's funny because I'm in this video game called Starry
- 58:01Speaker 2: Valley and you run like a farm and my daughter
- 58:04Speaker 2: gets really mad at me because I figured out how
- 58:06Speaker 2: to make a shitload of money and it's basically get
- 58:09Speaker 2: into the wine industry. So like I'm like growing all
- 58:12Speaker 2: this special fruit and then I've opened up a vineyard
- 58:15Speaker 2: on my farm where I'm like aging this shitting casks,
- 58:18Speaker 2: and like I built all these cellars, and like my
- 58:20Speaker 2: daughter's like, please, can I please buy a fucking horse?
- 58:24Speaker 1: You know, like I just want to buy a horsey,
- 58:26Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, Dad needs every tiller. Just like
- 58:29Speaker 1: why why are you making millions so I can make
- 58:33Speaker 1: more millions?
- 58:37Speaker 4: Is just a sliver of knowing what it's like to
- 58:40Speaker 4: be your business partner.
- 58:42Speaker 1: Can we spend this night?
- 58:43Speaker 7: No?
- 58:44Speaker 1: That money we might need that money. You never know.
- 58:47Speaker 2: No, but it's it's funny because I relate to Chris
- 58:49Speaker 2: and this second point that Chris asks, where he says
- 58:52Speaker 2: debate endurance, like, how can a person with poor debate
- 58:56Speaker 2: endurance deal with relationships where you often feel pressured? I'm
- 59:01Speaker 2: I'm very similar to this, where sometimes we need to
- 59:04Speaker 2: have a thorough and rigorous conversation, and my desire is
- 59:08Speaker 2: to posture myself that I am open to all good ideas,
- 59:13Speaker 2: but I have to get myself emotionally there. And so
- 59:16Speaker 2: sometimes when I'm having an argument with my spouse or
- 59:18Speaker 2: we need to talk about something important like money, I
- 59:22Speaker 2: need to check in with myself. And this goes back
- 59:24Speaker 2: to University Jeff's question about self awareness and personal awareness
- 59:28Speaker 2: of emotion. I need to start by checking in with
- 59:30Speaker 2: my emotional vocabulary and finding the emotion word I'm feeling
- 59:34Speaker 2: right now, Yeah, because I need to report that.
- 59:36Speaker 3: Why am I feeling so much stress about it?
- 59:38Speaker 2: Because my poor wife could be walking into a conversation
- 59:40Speaker 2: believing that I'm completely rational right now and I'm not,
- 59:44Speaker 2: you know, and like she may make five good arguments.
- 59:46Speaker 2: I'm like, Nope, we're still not doing that, and it's
- 59:47Speaker 2: like why, like maybe if I make five more right.
- 59:51Speaker 1: And it's like get pregnant if we do it this way.
- 59:53Speaker 2: I've tried to explain the sofa can't hurt you use
- 59:56Speaker 2: this numbing lotion. So you know, this is where I
- 1:00:00Speaker 2: feel like we need that emotional insight to be able
- 1:00:02Speaker 2: to say, look, I know that this is an emotional
- 1:00:04Speaker 2: conversation for me, I'm not comfortable with it, and I
- 1:00:08Speaker 2: just want to try a new thing.
- 1:00:09Speaker 5: It's not okay with the nature of the show, the
- 1:00:11Speaker 5: same thing, it's a great show.
- 1:00:13Speaker 4: My stomach has not felt good all week.
- 1:00:18Speaker 1: The car.
- 1:00:19Speaker 2: So the way that we deal with that poor debate endurance.
- 1:00:21Speaker 2: I think telling people upfront, hey, look, you're not gonna
- 1:00:25Speaker 2: win me over with a machine gun barrage of arguments,
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: please don't. At some point I feel fatigue with with this,
- 1:00:33Speaker 2: like next argument, next argument, next argument. Can you please
- 1:00:36Speaker 2: at some point be emotionally curious?
- 1:00:40Speaker 1: Can you?
- 1:00:40Speaker 2: Can you make that part of our conversation? And I
- 1:00:42Speaker 2: think most partners find that kind of language interesting, you know,
- 1:00:45Speaker 2: to say, hey, can in this conversation, can I also
- 1:00:48Speaker 2: ask you not just to make thirty five arguments. Probably
- 1:00:50Speaker 2: need a new refrigerator. Can you also try to pivot
- 1:00:53Speaker 2: sometimes being emotionally curious and check on me because I
- 1:00:56Speaker 2: will admit some of my thoughts are irrational, but knowing
- 1:01:00Speaker 2: that is not going to solve this. Right. You can
- 1:01:02Speaker 2: get consent, but that's not what you really want.
- 1:01:04Speaker 1: You really want buying. You really want me to be
- 1:01:06Speaker 1: enthusiastic with you and feel peace with.
- 1:01:08Speaker 2: This too, if that's really your goal. If your goal
- 1:01:10Speaker 2: is just to buy the thing, then you can win
- 1:01:12Speaker 2: and you can bulldoze me. But if you really want
- 1:01:14Speaker 2: me to be a part of this and feel peace
- 1:01:16Speaker 2: with this and enjoy what we're going to buy together,
- 1:01:18Speaker 2: whatever's gonna happen, I need you to check in on
- 1:01:21Speaker 2: me and be emotionally curious. So I think those disclaimers
- 1:01:23Speaker 2: and self evaluation up front, Chris, that's the way that
- 1:01:26Speaker 2: you ultimately get some peace with this, because I don't
- 1:01:28Speaker 2: know a way to like win the argument if you
- 1:01:30Speaker 2: don't have that endurance.
- 1:01:31Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a little bit what I was saying there.
- 1:01:33Speaker 7: It is.
- 1:01:36Speaker 1: Win that argument endurance. Put that couch up there.
- 1:01:41Speaker 3: Speaking of eighties, eighties was eighties?
- 1:01:46Speaker 5: Oh?
- 1:01:46Speaker 7: I was gonna mention the emotional side because typically people can't.
- 1:01:50Speaker 7: I mean, I'm sure some people out there can, but
- 1:01:52Speaker 7: most people cannot argue with your feelings. Hey, I feel
- 1:01:56Speaker 7: stressed thinking about spending three K on the couch, and
- 1:01:59Speaker 7: they can come back. I can say like, well, this logic,
- 1:02:01Speaker 7: this logic, this logic. You say, I hear all that,
- 1:02:04Speaker 7: and I still feel stressed.
- 1:02:05Speaker 1: Right, Like, you're not wrong, Yeah I'm still here.
- 1:02:10Speaker 3: They can sell it. But if you're yeah, just still Yeah.
- 1:02:12Speaker 7: Identifying your emotions and sticking with it or it makes
- 1:02:15Speaker 7: me scared and all these things, I think that helps
- 1:02:17Speaker 7: bring your partner into that emotional It.
- 1:02:19Speaker 2: Also lowers the defensiveness, right because if I feel like
- 1:02:21Speaker 2: it's it's not me versus you, but it's me and
- 1:02:24Speaker 2: you versus the problem we're trying to solve and my emotions, yeah,
- 1:02:27Speaker 2: that is so much better for me.
- 1:02:29Speaker 7: And if you're if for example, Chris in this case
- 1:02:32Speaker 7: is the one saying, well, I don't want to buy
- 1:02:35Speaker 7: the couch. Maybe the X things, well, I've got to
- 1:02:38Speaker 7: like convince them. But internally Chris is like, well, no,
- 1:02:40Speaker 7: it's because I'm scared. It's it's not because I think
- 1:02:42Speaker 7: it's a bad deal or a bad thing. Necessarily, it's
- 1:02:45Speaker 7: just wow, I really don't like seeing three thousand dollars
- 1:02:47Speaker 7: leave my baby.
- 1:02:47Speaker 2: But Chris, that's the key is if you're going to
- 1:02:49Speaker 2: continue to make rational counter arguments, your opponent or your
- 1:02:53Speaker 2: conversation partner believes that's the game we're playing, which is
- 1:02:56Speaker 2: why I want you to get the emotional insights you
- 1:02:58Speaker 2: can realize this isn't about rationality. There's I have thirty
- 1:03:01Speaker 2: percent of my concerns probably I have real objections. I'd
- 1:03:04Speaker 2: like you to answer seventy percent is my trauma, my emotions,
- 1:03:08Speaker 2: my struggles, and my partner needs to know that that's
- 1:03:11Speaker 2: the differential. That way they can know how to adjust
- 1:03:14Speaker 2: the conversation and their posture so they can go from
- 1:03:17Speaker 2: soothing me to debating me. Right, So that's important, And
- 1:03:20Speaker 2: not that I.
- 1:03:21Speaker 4: Disagree with your points. I like those points to play
- 1:03:26Speaker 4: the devil's advocate.
- 1:03:27Speaker 3: How dare you, asshole?
- 1:03:31Speaker 4: I do think though, that there comes a point where
- 1:03:35Speaker 4: emotions sometimes become a card that's played in a discussion
- 1:03:43Speaker 4: that maybe it doesn't have a place to be played.
- 1:03:46Speaker 4: That's fine, so let's just not necessarily manipulatively. But like
- 1:03:51Speaker 4: we are paying, we're we're paying too much attention to
- 1:03:55Speaker 4: this piece when it shouldn't be a factor. Like I'll
- 1:03:59Speaker 4: give you an example of something that let's just take
- 1:04:01Speaker 4: it to an extreme and then we can kind of
- 1:04:03Speaker 4: dial it back. But let's say I'm I'm having a
- 1:04:07Speaker 4: discussion with my spouse about a sick child, right, and
- 1:04:13Speaker 4: we need to take this child to the doctor's office
- 1:04:17Speaker 4: because this is our child, right to the doctor's office
- 1:04:20Speaker 4: because something is wrong. Right, And then my spouse has
- 1:04:25Speaker 4: a fear of doctors, feels they're manipulative, feels like they're
- 1:04:29Speaker 4: only after money, doesn't want to take the child. Let's
- 1:04:33Speaker 4: try home remedies first, right, And I kind of like, yeah,
- 1:04:37Speaker 4: I get your anxieties about that. I get all that,
- 1:04:40Speaker 4: you've got a lot of emotions about this. Totally understand. However,
- 1:04:44Speaker 4: we need to make a logic based discussion or decision here,
- 1:04:47Speaker 4: you know. And so it does sometimes become like why
- 1:04:52Speaker 4: are we Why are we playing the emotional card? Why
- 1:04:56Speaker 4: are we throwing this in here when it shouldn't be
- 1:04:58Speaker 4: a factor in what's actually happening.
- 1:05:00Speaker 2: So I'm gonna agree with you, and I think advance
- 1:05:04Speaker 2: that argument into a productive direction. Yes, So this is
- 1:05:08Speaker 2: something I think you and I have to do a
- 1:05:10Speaker 2: lot in rehabs with motivational interviewing, where there's a pretty
- 1:05:14Speaker 2: clear rational argument for maybe you should stop using fentanyl,
- 1:05:18Speaker 2: and like there's not a whole lot of rational.
- 1:05:19Speaker 1: Arguments for maybe square right, fucking loser. It's such a
- 1:05:24Speaker 1: boring square right now.
- 1:05:29Speaker 6: Wow.
- 1:05:30Speaker 2: So you know, we we use motivational interviewing to often
- 1:05:34Speaker 2: encounter the emotional objections while steering them toward the positive outcome.
- 1:05:40Speaker 2: And like, in that situation, I think that's that's ultimately
- 1:05:43Speaker 2: the advice I want to give Chris is to like
- 1:05:46Speaker 2: be open to revealing that it's an emotional thing, because
- 1:05:49Speaker 2: in this example you're giving if the spouse insists that no, no, no,
- 1:05:52Speaker 2: homeopathy is the right way to go rationally logically, I
- 1:05:55Speaker 2: heard in this podcast the doctors are out to get
- 1:05:57Speaker 2: us save that kid, right, So you the rational parent
- 1:06:01Speaker 2: who's trying to get them to the doctor. If your
- 1:06:03Speaker 2: real objective is not to win, but to save the kid,
- 1:06:06Speaker 2: you're gonna get there a lot faster if you learned,
- 1:06:09Speaker 2: am I, And if you know how to say, okay, well,
- 1:06:12Speaker 2: I'm not going to debate the facts with you, right,
- 1:06:14Speaker 2: because you're going to get into podcast logic and like
- 1:06:16Speaker 2: I don't want to do that. I'll lose or the
- 1:06:19Speaker 2: kid's going to die in the meantime, I don't want
- 1:06:21Speaker 2: to entrench you, right, And we do this in rehabs
- 1:06:23Speaker 2: all the time. We don't want them to entrench. So
- 1:06:25Speaker 2: we tend to take this yes and approach where we say, okay, great,
- 1:06:29Speaker 2: let's talk about that. What feelings are you having right now?
- 1:06:32Speaker 2: What are your objections? Where are you struggling? And like
- 1:06:35Speaker 2: helping them acknowledge that there is an emotional overtone and
- 1:06:38Speaker 2: working within that, like if we can get them to
- 1:06:40Speaker 2: talk more about their emotional objections and coming to see
- 1:06:44Speaker 2: where there's more emotion than reason. We don't ultimately win
- 1:06:48Speaker 2: with an argument, right, We've never won rationally to get
- 1:06:52Speaker 2: somebody to sober up, Like we've helped them realize that
- 1:06:56Speaker 2: they were unhappy high, so why not unhappy sober and
- 1:07:01Speaker 2: live longer and not go to jail, And like little
- 1:07:03Speaker 2: things like that where we've used their own logic and
- 1:07:06Speaker 2: guided them through it to their own conclusion without winning,
- 1:07:10Speaker 2: Like you know what I mean, It's like I can
- 1:07:12Speaker 2: feel like there's room for that with Chris, there's room
- 1:07:14Speaker 2: for that with the woman in this example, too, or
- 1:07:17Speaker 2: the spouse where like, yes, we can your emotions are
- 1:07:21Speaker 2: welcome here, But the greater strategy is ultimately not telling
- 1:07:25Speaker 2: them don't be emotional. We have to be rational because
- 1:07:27Speaker 2: they're going to entrench like you're not hearing me. And
- 1:07:29Speaker 2: we see this a lot in relationships where one member
- 1:07:32Speaker 2: says they're not being rational, the other one says you're
- 1:07:34Speaker 2: not listening to me. I feel unheard, and that one's like,
- 1:07:37Speaker 2: why do I have to listen to irrational bullshit when
- 1:07:39Speaker 2: it's just emotional And the therapist often shows up that
- 1:07:41Speaker 2: couple's therapy and goes, Okay, let's slow it all down.
- 1:07:44Speaker 2: We're going to practice hearing our partner, and then I'm
- 1:07:47Speaker 2: gonna teach you how to correct them in this more gentle, scenic,
- 1:07:50Speaker 2: root kind of way that they can release their conclusions, right,
- 1:07:54Speaker 2: And that's ultimately am I Yeah.
- 1:07:56Speaker 7: And if you're Chris in this situation, I think identifying oh,
- 1:08:00Speaker 7: I grew up poor and this is why I have
- 1:08:02Speaker 7: anxiety or fears or the golden handcuffs around money, I
- 1:08:07Speaker 7: think that bringing awareness to where that comes from is
- 1:08:10Speaker 7: super important and maybe take some time thinking back, what
- 1:08:13Speaker 7: was life growing up like? Clients I've worked with that
- 1:08:17Speaker 7: come from really low income, poor situations. You really have
- 1:08:21Speaker 7: to dive in and say, like, well, how did my
- 1:08:23Speaker 7: parents or family spend their money?
- 1:08:25Speaker 3: When was it okay?
- 1:08:26Speaker 7: Like why am I feeling that anxiety around a new item?
- 1:08:32Speaker 7: And maybe if you're poor when you got a new item,
- 1:08:34Speaker 7: you couldn't even use it or you didn't want to
- 1:08:35Speaker 7: use it, Like there's a lot tied emotionally to growing
- 1:08:39Speaker 7: up with them.
- 1:08:40Speaker 4: Yeah, there's definitely a historical perspective and a traumatic experience.
- 1:08:45Speaker 1: And then like the.
- 1:08:47Speaker 4: Diminishing marginal utility of money. You know this concept where
- 1:08:52Speaker 4: like every dollar that you have is less valuable than
- 1:08:54Speaker 4: the dollar that came before it. So like you know,
- 1:08:57Speaker 4: it's you know, for someone who grow up grew up wealthy, Okay,
- 1:09:02Speaker 4: three grand on a couch, It's like okay, yeah, well
- 1:09:04Speaker 4: that's what good couches cost, right, That's that's you want
- 1:09:07Speaker 4: a good couch, that's what's going to cost you, or
- 1:09:09Speaker 4: my case, if you want a really shitty couch, I
- 1:09:11Speaker 4: was going to microwave.
- 1:09:13Speaker 2: I think you have microwaves. I think that's pretty pretty obvious.
- 1:09:17Speaker 2: I am also really for starting a gofund me so
- 1:09:20Speaker 2: we can get this fucker a real microwave. We're running
- 1:09:23Speaker 2: science tests internationally to figure out what's wrong with his microwave.
- 1:09:28Speaker 2: I feel like maybe we should just raise some money.
- 1:09:31Speaker 3: You know, microwaves is coming up soon, so maybe.
- 1:09:39Speaker 2: I think we know what we're getting. That's probably great anyway, Chris,
- 1:09:43Speaker 2: good luck with this. It's a great question. I love
- 1:09:45Speaker 2: that it piggybacks on last week's question and hopefully we
- 1:09:49Speaker 2: gave you some useful feedback in this.
- 1:09:51Speaker 7: But oh, I was going to answer his third one
- 1:09:52Speaker 7: at this after spending tens of dollars? How do I
- 1:09:55Speaker 7: justify the expense to myself right in every week question?
- 1:10:00Speaker 3: Yeah, well answer it.
- 1:10:01Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go. Just keep them spam the questions.
- 1:10:03Speaker 2: Get your money's with But no, and thank you for
- 1:10:06Speaker 2: your support. You know really, honestly, the tens of dollars
- 1:10:09Speaker 2: it does mean a lot to it. Here.
- 1:10:11Speaker 4: Here's what this tells me, and it's something that actually
- 1:10:14Speaker 4: Matt Donnelly says on ice Cream Social, which is if my.
- 1:10:18Speaker 1: Wife, yes, I remember him saying that ile Hitler. Yeah,
- 1:10:25Speaker 1: another good drop.
- 1:10:26Speaker 4: Yeah, I ringtop automatically sent to you and help me
- 1:10:40Speaker 4: if this show is worth more than zero dollars do you.
- 1:10:43Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, yeah, okay.
- 1:10:46Speaker 4: From that perspective, it's like, okay, well, if this show
- 1:10:48Speaker 4: has helped you and you financially contributed to it, and
- 1:10:51Speaker 4: that's great and.
- 1:10:52Speaker 1: You should you should feel okay about that.
- 1:10:54Speaker 5: But we do four shows a month, we do eight.
- 1:10:56Speaker 5: We really do eight shows a month. If you are
- 1:10:58Speaker 5: a Patreon yeah, and so for eight shows a month,
- 1:11:02Speaker 5: you know, ten bucks a month doesn't sound too bad.
- 1:11:05Speaker 5: If any some people can't do it. If you can't
- 1:11:07Speaker 5: do it, you can't do it, Yeah, then that's when
- 1:11:09Speaker 5: you go out and you do some legwork. You got
- 1:11:10Speaker 5: you tell people about us, you leave reviews on these sites.
- 1:11:14Speaker 1: Yeah, you do all of those things. And but if
- 1:11:17Speaker 1: you can, you do all of those things and you throw.
- 1:11:20Speaker 5: Ten bucks a month into the kitty and it keeps
- 1:11:22Speaker 5: the show going.
- 1:11:22Speaker 2: I'm glad we get a chance to promo that because
- 1:11:25Speaker 2: last week I took a vacation with the family with
- 1:11:28Speaker 2: spring break, and so I think I got everything programmed
- 1:11:32Speaker 2: to drop correctly. But in the last two weeks, I
- 1:11:35Speaker 2: know that the Thursday episode that goes up to the
- 1:11:37Speaker 2: general audience got delayed a little bit because I just
- 1:11:39Speaker 2: messed up the widgets or something of that effect. And
- 1:11:41Speaker 2: then on one of them, I didn't get to correct
- 1:11:43Speaker 2: the ads, so it was just spamming ads and like
- 1:11:46Speaker 2: Chef does, like the full spreaker spam like it's so
- 1:11:49Speaker 2: fucking annoying. And if that affected you, and you're like, god,
- 1:11:51Speaker 2: damn it, this sucks. Like I look forward to this
- 1:11:54Speaker 2: show all week long and it was delayed or it
- 1:11:57Speaker 2: had all these ads. You appear to lie, make us
- 1:12:00Speaker 2: a lot, bucking the hat and support something that matters
- 1:12:05Speaker 2: to your world. Now I realized, I realized from the
- 1:12:08Speaker 2: listener's perspective, it's hard to say, like, hey, if you
- 1:12:11Speaker 2: don't like this product, pay for it.
- 1:12:14Speaker 1: Be real shame something bad happening to trust us? Yeah,
- 1:12:17Speaker 1: cost us that.
- 1:12:18Speaker 2: The paid versions better. Honestly, I can't fuck it up.
- 1:12:21Speaker 2: The paid one's easy. Jacob hits published. I uploaded to Patreon.
- 1:12:25Speaker 1: It's done. No, Jim doesn't monkey with it anyway.
- 1:12:29Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
- 1:12:31Speaker 2: we are wrapping up the show. You're listening to pod Therapy.
- 1:12:34Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Robert Brownie, Junior Mints,
- 1:12:37Speaker 4: Kayla Lansberry, Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley Adam Halfway, Dan Martin
- 1:12:42Speaker 4: lid Hey and Andrew Langmead. And if you would like
- 1:12:45Speaker 4: sponsor the show, had on over to patreon dot com
- 1:12:48Speaker 4: and slash therapy and you can sign up or other level.
- 1:12:54Speaker 1: It's very easy over Patreon dot com, slash therapy, tie
- 1:12:57Speaker 1: game and Whitney's down one.
- 1:12:58Speaker 4: Okay, Jim, here's Johnny.
- 1:13:02Speaker 2: Oh that oh fuck? Oh okay, Okay. That's confusing because
- 1:13:07Speaker 2: that's it's a quote of a quote. Uh, I think fuck?
- 1:13:11Speaker 2: Is it one flu over the Cuckoo's Nest. I'm just
- 1:13:13Speaker 2: talking rhetorically. Do not do not register that it's the
- 1:13:16Speaker 2: guy from One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest?
- 1:13:19Speaker 1: Uh, fuck you, he's inside.
- 1:13:23Speaker 2: It's a few good men.
- 1:13:24Speaker 1: No, No, it's a fucking I think Jim is trying
- 1:13:28Speaker 1: to get to Jim McMahon.
- 1:13:29Speaker 2: Oh oh uh, it's a cold he's cold, and he's
- 1:13:33Speaker 2: got an axe shining, shining, the shining.
- 1:13:37Speaker 1: The shining, Yes, correct, I wouldn give him. I was
- 1:13:41Speaker 1: not giving credit for shining. Jack Nicholas Whitney.
- 1:13:45Speaker 4: Yes, I'll be back.
- 1:13:47Speaker 3: I am back from the office. That's not my answer.
- 1:13:53Speaker 3: I was quoting the office. Michael Scott is that the Terminator.
- 1:13:59Speaker 1: It is a Terminator. It definitely is. Like half a
- 1:14:03Speaker 1: dozen other artists.
- 1:14:07Speaker 4: Would have accepted the Last Action Hero.
- 1:14:11Speaker 7: Or Terminator to any other Terminator movie that terminator dot
- 1:14:16Speaker 7: dot dot.
- 1:14:18Speaker 5: Uh.
- 1:14:18Speaker 4: Why don't you make like a tree and get out
- 1:14:21Speaker 4: of here?
- 1:14:24Speaker 1: That would be back to the future.
- 1:14:27Speaker 3: I'm so glad I don't have any of these questions.
- 1:14:29Speaker 5: That is that is Biff and back to the future
- 1:14:31Speaker 5: one uh. And then he says some similar things back
- 1:14:34Speaker 5: to the future too.
- 1:14:35Speaker 2: If he's wrong, you gotta pass it.
- 1:14:39Speaker 1: To pass.
- 1:14:39Speaker 2: I would like to argue that it's back to the
- 1:14:41Speaker 2: future too. And young Biff talking to old Biff when
- 1:14:45Speaker 2: that shows up with the almanac.
- 1:14:47Speaker 1: I just remember that it was young Biff. I remember
- 1:14:49Speaker 1: trying to talk to.
- 1:14:49Speaker 2: You take this thing, and he said, won't you make
- 1:14:52Speaker 2: like a tree and get.
- 1:14:54Speaker 1: The hell out of here?
- 1:14:56Speaker 4: It is still in points, Jim, let's go, uh, Jim,
- 1:15:03Speaker 4: I ain't got time to bleed.
- 1:15:05Speaker 2: Oh fuck, I ain't got time to bleed.
- 1:15:08Speaker 1: That is how shit is it?
- 1:15:11Speaker 2: Predator? I'll take Predator.
- 1:15:15Speaker 4: It is.
- 1:15:20Speaker 3: All right, Whitney, please be princess again.
- 1:15:24Speaker 4: Game over man, game over options. I have no idea
- 1:15:32Speaker 4: Aliens Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, The Running Man.
- 1:15:37Speaker 2: Damn it.
- 1:15:38Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just gonna tell you that I'm confused.
- 1:15:41Speaker 1: I'm mixed between golf Ball through Gardens because there are
- 1:15:45Speaker 1: two movies on there that I run together in my head.
- 1:15:47Speaker 3: Up, say the answers again.
- 1:15:49Speaker 4: Sorry, Aliens, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, The Running Man.
- 1:15:54Speaker 1: Oh my god.
- 1:15:55Speaker 4: And what's the quote game over Man game over.
- 1:16:00Speaker 3: Platoon. I don't know. I'm guessing.
- 1:16:04Speaker 1: It passes.
- 1:16:07Speaker 3: I said Platoon that it's Full Metal Jacket, it's Alien.
- 1:16:11Speaker 2: It is.
- 1:16:14Speaker 1: Game over Man, game over, game over.
- 1:16:18Speaker 3: I was going to guess, but I was like, why
- 1:16:19Speaker 3: would the game over an alien?
- 1:16:21Speaker 4: So I have not seen Predator or.
- 1:16:24Speaker 3: Predators seen any of those?
- 1:16:26Speaker 4: Oh man, all right, Jacob last one, hold.
- 1:16:29Speaker 1: On, I'm still looking up. Biff gets in both.
- 1:16:34Speaker 2: It is, but definitely the context and the actual quote.
- 1:16:38Speaker 2: If it's in both, then it's oh, he's showing us
- 1:16:46Speaker 2: a video with no captions.
- 1:16:48Speaker 5: No, but it's in the in the cafeteria in the
- 1:16:53Speaker 5: first movie and there's no sound, but trust us.
- 1:16:57Speaker 2: Also, my favorite quote like that of like make like
- 1:17:00Speaker 2: a tree and leaf is the was and get the
- 1:17:07Speaker 2: hell out of here.
- 1:17:08Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, No, I don't think.
- 1:17:09Speaker 1: What do you mean it would be number two? No,
- 1:17:12Speaker 1: it doesn't get out of here ship.
- 1:17:14Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's both all right, all right, points,
- 1:17:18Speaker 2: all right, all right, he keeps his points, but I
- 1:17:21Speaker 2: keep the alien point, which still puts me up one.
- 1:17:24Speaker 4: Okay, Jacob, what I'm too old for this ship?
- 1:17:27Speaker 2: Oh God, damn it, that sounds great, great movie. I
- 1:17:35Speaker 2: guess I just grew up on this ship. I had
- 1:17:38Speaker 2: older relatives that.
- 1:17:39Speaker 1: Were constantly I mean, it's a lot of movies. Oh,
- 1:17:43Speaker 1: it's one movie. Okay, it's other movies.
- 1:17:47Speaker 2: Quote this movie because the quote is so good.
- 1:17:50Speaker 1: Fine, but that means that it's in the other movies.
- 1:17:53Speaker 1: Whatever they were thinking when they wrote it down. It's
- 1:17:55Speaker 1: still in there. Gym's up by one.
- 1:17:57Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:17:58Speaker 4: They give me options, all right, Oh, Beverly Hills Cop,
- 1:18:03Speaker 4: lethal Weapon, die Hard forty eight hours, all good movies.
- 1:18:10Speaker 5: Oh, good movies, die Hard, thethal Weapon, Man. They both
- 1:18:18Speaker 5: it might be Danny Glover and lethal weapon. Not wait, yeah,
- 1:18:22Speaker 5: Danny Lover. It might be Dan Lover and leathle Weapon.
- 1:18:24Speaker 5: It might be it could easily be die Hard. I
- 1:18:28Speaker 5: think it's lethal weapon.
- 1:18:30Speaker 1: It is weapon.
- 1:18:32Speaker 4: I also would have accepted Maverick. No, not top Gun, Maverick, No,
- 1:18:38Speaker 4: Maverick mel Gibson. Yeah, because he makes a cameo and
- 1:18:43Speaker 4: he robs the bank.
- 1:18:47Speaker 1: Ship.
- 1:18:48Speaker 2: I made my son watch Maverick the other day.
- 1:18:49Speaker 1: You fucking love.
- 1:18:53Speaker 5: That came to my head immediately when you said that
- 1:18:55Speaker 5: is the Expendables, Oh, because I'm pretty sure they say
- 1:18:58Speaker 5: it in every Expendables movie.
- 1:18:59Speaker 4: You what movie we just watched this past weekend for
- 1:19:02Speaker 4: the first time, The Sting Huh with Robert Redford.
- 1:19:06Speaker 1: And yes, yes, oh ship that was ever seen?
- 1:19:10Speaker 6: It is?
- 1:19:13Speaker 7: It was?
- 1:19:14Speaker 1: It was like, people just think of Paul Newman as
- 1:19:17Speaker 1: the fucking salad dressing guy. Does he do anything? He's
- 1:19:20Speaker 1: Paul Newman was the most famous actor in the world
- 1:19:23Speaker 1: for you, in the salad industry.
- 1:19:25Speaker 3: That's little wheel matter the most famous.
- 1:19:28Speaker 4: So George Foreman just died and everyone thinks that he's
- 1:19:31Speaker 4: a barbecue guy.
- 1:19:33Speaker 1: George was the scariest man on the planet for a
- 1:19:37Speaker 1: decade he and I had after school.
- 1:19:42Speaker 5: If you go back and watch George Foreman fight, he
- 1:19:45Speaker 5: is a terrifying human being.
- 1:19:47Speaker 1: Yeah, not that sandwich.
- 1:19:49Speaker 5: He's a teddy be named all of his sons George. George,
- 1:19:55Speaker 5: his sons, George, do you have a tie breaker for
- 1:19:58Speaker 5: a her?
- 1:20:00Speaker 1: Here we go? What the fuck? It's just my turn?
- 1:20:02Speaker 1: How is it your turn? I'm because we started on
- 1:20:06Speaker 1: you yet I was the last question. How did I
- 1:20:09Speaker 1: fall behind? When I've hit all my two's? And here
- 1:20:12Speaker 1: you go, We're gonna because you didn't get to steal.
- 1:20:14Speaker 4: Here's got hursty, here's the trek you kept score math,
- 1:20:18Speaker 4: here's the tiebreaker?
- 1:20:20Speaker 1: All right? You got to buzz in for this? Is
- 1:20:22Speaker 1: it a buzzer? We have to say? Can we just
- 1:20:24Speaker 1: get Jim yelled and screamed until he got his points.
- 1:20:30Speaker 4: Your job is to figure out who buzz is in first?
- 1:20:32Speaker 1: Okay, go are you gonna stop reading the question? Whin someone?
- 1:20:37Speaker 1: All right? Life moves pretty fuzz Life moves pretty fast.
- 1:20:43Speaker 1: You got to stop.
- 1:20:43Speaker 2: And oh, I don't have to get the quote. It's
- 1:20:45Speaker 2: fair Spuelller's day at day off, it is, Yes, give
- 1:20:51Speaker 2: me that doctor back.
- 1:20:53Speaker 1: I didn't anything he knew better, God damn it. Yeah,
- 1:20:59Speaker 1: you could have put steaks up against that doctorate Shitta
- 1:21:02Speaker 1: sushi gets a doctor. Yeah, this is when you need
- 1:21:05Speaker 1: to have somebody betting sushi against you. I know you
- 1:21:08Speaker 1: need to offload the sushi bed. There you go.
- 1:21:11Speaker 2: I need to start aiming for that because it is
- 1:21:13Speaker 2: not looking good. Remember that one year when I won
- 1:21:15Speaker 2: and then instantly bet the sushi and lost.
- 1:21:17Speaker 1: Oh that was the best. It was the best.
- 1:21:23Speaker 5: One.
- 1:21:23Speaker 1: I forgot that too.
- 1:21:24Speaker 5: Next week after Jim One he bet sushi on trivia
- 1:21:28Speaker 5: or whatever it was and lost.
- 1:21:30Speaker 2: That had to buy sushi, Yeah, Jacob had Jacob was
- 1:21:33Speaker 2: the loser of the sushi bread. That's right, And and
- 1:21:35Speaker 2: I bet him the sushi that I was right, and
- 1:21:38Speaker 2: I was gonna it was double or nothing, and that
- 1:21:40Speaker 2: was it. He's gonna have to buy me sushi twice
- 1:21:41Speaker 2: and I lost a double sushi rejoiced like a loser.
- 1:21:48Speaker 3: Tat I don't remember that this happened.
- 1:21:51Speaker 2: I'm sure it was very difficult.
- 1:21:52Speaker 3: Curious.
- 1:21:53Speaker 2: As we wrap up the show, we want to remind
- 1:21:55Speaker 2: you can sign up at patreon dot com slash therapy.
- 1:21:58Speaker 2: You get our extended show. You usually hang out for
- 1:22:00Speaker 2: up to an hour before the show every show. When
- 1:22:03Speaker 2: you hear us laughing and coming in, that is just
- 1:22:06Speaker 2: Jacob hitting the theme music mid sentence when we're doing something.
- 1:22:11Speaker 1: Start the show when I think the show needs to start.
- 1:22:13Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it, unlike Brady thought that we just chuckle.
- 1:22:18Speaker 2: Artificial record also start laughing. That was a great interview.
- 1:22:23Speaker 1: I listened to it.
- 1:22:24Speaker 2: That was wonderful.
- 1:22:25Speaker 1: Yep.
- 1:22:26Speaker 2: That was really fun to reminisce and hear him telling
- 1:22:28Speaker 2: old stories about me getting all sorts of trouble when
- 1:22:31Speaker 2: I was a school teacher. It was very interesting to
- 1:22:33Speaker 2: hear him talk about you as a teacher, but it
- 1:22:37Speaker 2: didn't sound like a teacher.
- 1:22:38Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 1:22:39Speaker 2: It was funny to hear him say job and lax tact.
- 1:22:45Speaker 5: Like all right, Yeah, It's just funny to hear people
- 1:22:48Speaker 5: say things that are definitely true.
- 1:22:50Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, oh no, that was Yeah, he
- 1:22:52Speaker 1: nailed that.
- 1:22:53Speaker 2: Anyway, you can catch our extended show every week ad
- 1:22:55Speaker 2: free a day earlier on time, by the way, and
- 1:22:58Speaker 2: enjoy our live chat disc community where we do science
- 1:23:01Speaker 2: and our weekly deep dives, interviews, skill shares, research roundups
- 1:23:05Speaker 2: and rants. What's coming out this week? It is a
- 1:23:08Speaker 2: deep dive on the series or the movie inside Out.
- 1:23:13Speaker 2: This is the fourth installment by our intern Emma, who
- 1:23:16Speaker 2: takes you further and further into the mysterious minds of
- 1:23:18Speaker 2: the Disney characters and inside Out and relates it to
- 1:23:21Speaker 2: practical psychology. So check us out patroon dot com slash therapy.
- 1:23:25Speaker 2: We've got some new people who has joined the therap party, Nick.
- 1:23:28Speaker 4: So we got some new folks. We've got new therappals
- 1:23:32Speaker 4: Emily Murphy Welcome to the show, and Lenny Poo and
- 1:23:37Speaker 4: we've got a.
- 1:23:38Speaker 1: New therapod, neck Pubes.
- 1:23:40Speaker 2: I feel like I remember a letter from neck Pubes
- 1:23:43Speaker 2: because it ended up in our quote Hall of Fame.
- 1:23:45Speaker 2: So in our discord we have a channel that's just
- 1:23:47Speaker 2: quotes from the hosts randomly taken out of context for
- 1:23:50Speaker 2: the show. I believe the channel is called out of context,
- 1:23:53Speaker 2: and there is one there where Nick says I agree.
- 1:23:56Speaker 1: With neck Pubes. That's pretty funny.
- 1:23:59Speaker 2: Yeah, I control left that channel.
- 1:24:01Speaker 1: That's pretty great. Anyway.
- 1:24:02Speaker 2: We'd like to thank the benevolent, revered, generous, and flagrantly
- 1:24:06Speaker 2: pro therapy diehards who love you all so much they
- 1:24:09Speaker 2: give till it hurts, the therap Partner's Dirty Bee and Pickett,
- 1:24:12Speaker 2: and we want to thank our bosses, the mysterious and
- 1:24:14Speaker 2: shrouded Illuminati, members of the fan club, the their producers.
- 1:24:17Speaker 2: Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint Smitty, Scoop,
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- 1:24:51Speaker 2: Malaychick and gabriel A Dame.
- 1:24:54Speaker 4: And if you would like to hear this episode uncut
- 1:24:56Speaker 4: and unedited, Wow, wouldn't you? And enjoy our spontaneous Sybe projects.
- 1:25:00Speaker 4: Go to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you
- 1:25:03Speaker 4: for supporting mental health.
- 1:25:04Speaker 2: That's all the time we got for this week session.
- 1:25:05Speaker 2: Want to think our Landlord's Matt and Mattingly's ice Cream
- 1:25:08Speaker 2: Social podcast and things are those of you who'll contribute
- 1:25:11Speaker 2: it to our show today.
- 1:25:12Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. But remember pop.
- 1:25:15Speaker 2: Therapy isn't something to keep all to yourself.
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- 1:25:30Speaker 4: If you want to submit a question to the show,
- 1:25:31Speaker 4: ask anonymously at podtherapy dot net or email I said
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- 1:25:37Speaker 4: the link in the episode descriptions to be taken to
- 1:25:39Speaker 4: our anonymous Google forum.
- 1:25:41Speaker 1: I'm Nick Tangerin, I'm Jim.
- 1:25:43Speaker 4: Thanks, so we'll see if your appointment next week.
- 1:25:47Speaker 2: I love this quotes thing. I just I want quotes forever.
- 1:25:51Speaker 1: I know that is the best.
- 1:25:53Speaker 2: We could do that for every decade, and I will
- 1:25:56Speaker 2: suck at everything that.
- 1:25:56Speaker 1: Is not the eighties thirties. Oh my god, what do
- 1:26:00Speaker 1: you toast can do.
- 1:26:03Speaker 3: Silently?
- 1:26:05Speaker 1: Honestly, that would be pretty You're a pretty dame, Buster
- 1:26:10Speaker 1: Keating correct. Goodbye,