Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Life Love Legacy A Conversation with Dr Charles Stanley Part 1
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome back.
- 0:01Speaker 2: If this is your first time joining us, you could
- 0:03not have picked a better time. Today I begin a
- 0:06two part interview with one of my favorite people on
- 0:09the planet, my dad. As you may know, my dad
- 0:12is a pastor, but you may not know that he
- 0:14just stepped down from his role as senior pastor of
- 0:16the First Baptist Church of Atlanta, where he served Are
- 0:19you ready for this for fifty years? And then a
- 0:22few weeks ago he celebrated his eighty eighth birthday and
- 0:26he decided it was probably time to step down, a
- 0:29decision he clearly did not rush into.
- 0:31Speaker 1: So today and next week we're going to visit.
- 0:34Speaker 2: With him at his studio at in Touch Ministries, the
- 0:36broadcast organization that he founded in nineteen seventy seven. But
- 0:40before we jump into the interview, I want to give
- 0:42you a little bit of context as it relates to
- 0:44our family, so that some of these stories we talk
- 0:46about will make a little bit more sense. I have
- 0:49a sister named Becky who's three years younger than me.
- 0:51Both of us have three kids, So my dad is
- 0:54the proud grandparent of six grandchildren, two granddaughters and four grandsons.
- 1:00After I graduated from graduate school. I actually worked for
- 1:03him for ten years and then I left there to
- 1:05launch north Point Community Church, and it was a rocky transition,
- 1:09to say the least, but my dad and I were
- 1:11both committed to maintaining our relationship in spite of our differences,
- 1:15and we had many differences. Then, several years later, I
- 1:19wrote a book entitled Deep and Wide, which is essentially
- 1:22the blueprint for how we do ministry through the local church.
- 1:25And in chapter two of Deep and Wide, I actually
- 1:27tell the story in detail of how and why I
- 1:30left my dad's employment and why it was such a
- 1:33difficult season for both of us. And anyone who's read
- 1:36the story or knows our story knows how easy it
- 1:39would have been for our relationship to have deteriorated and
- 1:42for us to have gone our separate ways and never reconciled.
- 1:46But fortunately, and honestly, much to his credit, that was
- 1:49not the case, and just kind of a fun fact.
- 1:52Before I published the story, of course, I wanted him
- 1:56to read it and sign off on it. So I
- 1:58went over to his house and I sat down with
- 1:59him at his breakfast table, and I actually read out
- 2:02loud that particular chapter of the book, the book, the
- 2:06chapter that entailed our story, just to get his reaction,
- 2:10and honestly, it was so emotional just reliving some of
- 2:14those difficult moments.
- 2:15Speaker 1: We both cried and.
- 2:17Speaker 2: We were both so grateful that those difficult times did
- 2:19not signal the end of our relationship. In fact, I'll
- 2:22never forget. We were having chips and salsa at a
- 2:26tex Mex restaurant during this difficult season, and it was
- 2:29so difficult. Honestly, we would meet together because we knew
- 2:32we should, and we would just sit there. It was
- 2:34hard for us to even talk. And on one of
- 2:37those occasions, he said, Andy, he said, we have both
- 2:40been around long enough to know what happens to fathers
- 2:42and sons who go through something like this, and I
- 2:45don't want that to happen to us, and neither did I,
- 2:49and it didn't. So here we are, twenty five years later,
- 2:53reminiscing about.
- 2:54Speaker 1: Eighty eight years of a life well lived.
- 2:57Speaker 2: So here's part one of my two part conversation with
- 3:00my dad, doctor Charles Stanley. So I would like to
- 3:11begin our conversation talking about parenting, but before I talk
- 3:14about what a good dad you are and have been
- 3:17my whole life. I think it's important for people to
- 3:20know a little bit about your background because you grew
- 3:23up without your father, So can you catch people up
- 3:26on just your growing up years, And then I want
- 3:28to talk a little bit about what a great dad
- 3:30you were and how in the world did you ever
- 3:32figure that out?
- 3:32Speaker 1: So you grew you were born in Dryford.
- 3:35Speaker 3: Virginia, Fort Virginia. My father died when I was nine
- 3:38months of age, so my mother had to go to work,
- 3:44and so then I got shifted around from one person
- 3:46to the other keeping me while she worked, and that
- 3:49went on for a number of years. And then of
- 3:52course starting to school, I was very shy, and I think,
- 4:00how did I get through grammar school?
- 4:02Speaker 2: Yeah, because in some cases I remember these stories as
- 4:05a kid, you know, when I thought I had it hard.
- 4:08You would talk about getting yourself up in the morning,
- 4:11fixing your own breakfast because your mom had already gone
- 4:14to work at the mill.
- 4:16Speaker 3: Well, it was difficult, but you know, my mom taught
- 4:19me how to fry an egg or scramble an egg
- 4:22and toast, and then of course after a while I
- 4:26learned that well enough I could just fix me maybe
- 4:29some other things, but she told me to be able
- 4:33to do whatever I need to do and to trust
- 4:35God that he would help me. And that's the thing
- 4:38that I kept hearing her. Just trust the Lord, Just
- 4:41do what you know is write, and trust the Lord.
- 4:44So she drilled that into my head and that I
- 4:46could do whatever I needed to do if I would
- 4:48trust him.
- 4:49Speaker 1: Wow.
- 4:50Speaker 2: So one of the mysteries to me that as a
- 4:53kid growing up, I didn't appreciate, but now that I'm
- 4:55a dad, I've appreciated so much because so much of
- 4:59what I've done as a father I learned from you.
- 5:01But you didn't have a father to learn from. So,
- 5:05you know, how in the world did you figure this out?
- 5:07Because I'm going to tell some stories in a few
- 5:09minutes about the kinds of things you did. But I mean,
- 5:12you know, when I was born, when Becky was born,
- 5:15you didn't have a role model.
- 5:17Speaker 1: How did you figure this out?
- 5:19Speaker 3: Well, my mom taught me several things that just drilled
- 5:24them in my head. To obey the Lord, to read
- 5:28the scripture every day, even though I didn't understand it,
- 5:31to read the scripture every day, and to do what
- 5:34I knew was the right thing to do. So she
- 5:38didn't take the Bible and say, we'll memorize this verse
- 5:41of that verse. And the only time I remember her
- 5:44giving me a verse to remember is before I preached
- 5:47my first sermon. But I just saw her reading the Bible.
- 5:51I watched, I listened to her pray, and I watched
- 5:54how she related to people. So I had a great
- 5:58respect for my mom being a god live woman.
- 6:01Speaker 2: So then when you became a dad, where how did
- 6:04you figure out the dad part? I mean, you'd seen
- 6:06your mom be a good mom, but you were such
- 6:07a great dad. How did you How did you figure
- 6:10that out?
- 6:10Speaker 3: Well? I treated you all the way I wanted to
- 6:12be treated. I think that says it all to me,
- 6:16because not having a father and thinking what I would
- 6:20like for my father to have done. So when I'm
- 6:23thinking of all the places we went, and I never
- 6:25worried about spending money on you all just have a
- 6:28good time in the words, it just came natural for
- 6:32me because I knew that's what a good that's what
- 6:35a good dad would do.
- 6:37Speaker 2: Well, I want to talk about a few things that
- 6:40you've taught me.
- 6:41Speaker 1: I'm not even sure I've shared.
- 6:42Speaker 2: Some of these with you, but one of the most
- 6:45important things you taught me was how to make good decisions.
- 6:48And the way he taught me how to make good
- 6:50decisions was my dad refused to make decisions for me.
- 6:54In fact, there were so many incidents, and this began
- 6:57really young. I would say, Dad, what do you think
- 7:00I should do in this situation? And he would say, well,
- 7:03what would you do if I wasn't here to tell you?
- 7:05And I would say, but you are here to tell me,
- 7:07and I need you to tell me.
- 7:09Speaker 1: But that habit or that tendency.
- 7:11Speaker 2: You had, and again I don't know where you figured
- 7:13that out forced me to do two things. It forced
- 7:16me to learn how to make good decisions early on.
- 7:21And then the second thing was you did such a
- 7:24great job allowing Becky and I to face the consequences
- 7:28of our decisions. You never bailed us out, and I
- 7:31guess because growing up there wasn't anybody to bail you
- 7:34out when you made a bad decision. You had to
- 7:36face the consequences yourself, right right.
- 7:39Speaker 3: And I realized all of that would drive you to God,
- 7:43and I wanted you to point yourself to him. What
- 7:46would you got to have me to do when my
- 7:48dad's not here? What would you got to have me
- 7:50to do because my father died when I was nine
- 7:53months of age. I thought, you know, God could take
- 7:55me off the scene, but I want to be sure
- 7:57whenever he did.
- 7:59Speaker 1: You knew what to do well early on, maybe too early.
- 8:03Speaker 2: You just consistently said what would you do or how
- 8:06would you handle that? Or how would you fix that?
- 8:09If I wasn't here. I remember my first traffic ticket.
- 8:12I'd like to say it was my one and only
- 8:14traffic ticket, but I remember my first traffic to I
- 8:17had not had my driver's license very long. I got
- 8:20pulled over leaving school. I got home, and of course
- 8:24I was scared to death like any teenager. Oh no,
- 8:26what's my dad going to do? Is he going to
- 8:28take away the car? Is he going to take away
- 8:29my license? And you probably don't even remember this. So
- 8:33I came in and, you know, apologetically, Dad, I got
- 8:36pulled over by the police.
- 8:37Speaker 1: He gave me a traffic ticket, and you didn't get mad.
- 8:40Speaker 2: You said, well, you'll have to handle that, and I'm like,
- 8:43well what do I do? And you said, well, just
- 8:44turn the ticket over. It has all the instructions on
- 8:46the back. And then you just left the room and
- 8:49suddenly instead of punishing me, you basically said, if you're
- 8:53you know, if you're responsible enough to have a driver's license,
- 8:56you're responsible enough to figure out what to do with
- 8:58a traffic ticket. And you you didn't punish me, You
- 9:01let the law punish me. And then again you just
- 9:04put all the decision making.
- 9:05Speaker 1: Right back in my lap. I don't even know if
- 9:08you remember that.
- 9:08Speaker 3: Well, so you kept loving me instead of the policeman.
- 9:11Speaker 2: Well see, this is another really important principle because instead
- 9:15of inserting yourself into the equation, you took my position,
- 9:19or you took my side to say, you know what, Andy,
- 9:21I think you're smart enough to figure this out. I
- 9:23think you'll figure out how to pay for the traffic ticket.
- 9:26Speaker 1: It's right there on the back of the ticket. You know.
- 9:28Good luck.
- 9:29Speaker 2: And again here I am, all these years later, I
- 9:31can remember where we were standing in our house in
- 9:33Tucker so early on.
- 9:35Speaker 1: Just putting the decision.
- 9:37Speaker 2: Making pressure the appropriate pressure on us was extraordinary. And
- 9:41I do think it was an overflow of the fact
- 9:43that you knew you remember growing up. Hey, you had
- 9:47to learn those things early. And then one other thing,
- 9:50and you just alluded to it.
- 9:52Speaker 1: You did a great job intentionally.
- 9:56Speaker 2: Taking, you know, reminding my sister and I, Becky and
- 9:59I that ultimately we weren't accountable to you anyway, that
- 10:03ultimately we were accountable.
- 10:05Speaker 1: To God, and the way you taught us that.
- 10:09Speaker 2: Again, we would ask you a question or not advice,
- 10:12but a decision, you know, we had to make, and
- 10:15you would say, have you prayed about it?
- 10:17Speaker 1: Have you prayed about it?
- 10:18Speaker 2: And that was so frustrating because I'm like, I don't
- 10:21need to pray about it.
- 10:22Speaker 1: I just need you to help me make the decision.
- 10:24Speaker 2: But you consistently said, ask God, and you know, whatever
- 10:29you feel like the Lord wants.
- 10:30Speaker 1: You to do.
- 10:31Speaker 2: Do you remember one particular occasion when you told me
- 10:35to pray about it and God told me the opposite
- 10:37of what God had told you.
- 10:39Speaker 1: You know what incident I'm talking about. No, there were
- 10:44actually several.
- 10:45Speaker 2: But I was sixteen and my favorite recording artist that
- 10:50was coming to town was a concert. Back then, there
- 10:53weren't many concerts. You did not particularly love my choice
- 10:57of music at the time. That's right, Yeah, you remember
- 11:00that part. And so this band was coming to Atlanta
- 11:04and the concert was on Sunday night. Remember this, Yes,
- 11:07I did, and we had Sunday night church. And on
- 11:11Sunday night we went to church. And so I'm saying, Dad,
- 11:13I want to go to a concert. You didn't really
- 11:16want me to go to the concert anyway, but now
- 11:18I'm going to go on Sunday night. People will find out,
- 11:20you know, the preacher's kids, you know, went to the
- 11:22concert instead of going to church.
- 11:24Speaker 1: And you said, well, why don't you pray about it?
- 11:27Speaker 2: You remember that, dud And I remember Mom was like, no, no, no, no,
- 11:31don't let him pray about it. You just need we
- 11:33just need to tell him not to go. And you
- 11:35were so consistent. It was nope, if you think that's okay,
- 11:39you know, you pray about it. So I did sixteen
- 11:41years old, and I didn't hear a voice, so I
- 11:44figured it was okay. Remember that, and you you took
- 11:49a little bit of pressure at church, you know, you know,
- 11:51how can you let your son's being a bad example?
- 11:53And so I went to that concert, and do you
- 11:56remember what you and Mom prayed while I was at
- 11:58the concert. You told me later that you prayed that
- 12:01we would have a miserable time. Have you remember that
- 12:03you prayed that we'd have a miserable time, and we'd
- 12:05never want to go back. And God didn't answer that
- 12:08prayer either. I grew up wanting to, you know, be
- 12:12a rock star. So anyway, but the point being, even
- 12:16though you know when you put that much responsibility in
- 12:19a child's hands, you are wise enough to leave it there,
- 12:23you didn't take it back. You didn't say, well, God
- 12:25didn't answer your prayer the way I wanted him to.
- 12:28I'm going to withdraw that. So those those lessons were
- 12:33so instrumental. And it's just always curious to me, growing
- 12:36up without a father, that intuitively you figured some of
- 12:40those things out.
- 12:42Speaker 3: Well I would. I would usually say, Lord, now, in
- 12:44this given situation, what's the wisest thing to do? And
- 12:49I knew that if I made all the decisions and
- 12:52gave you all the answers, you'd never have to do
- 12:55it yourself. And at some point, and remember this, growing up,
- 12:59I had nobody to ask now as my mom, but
- 13:02a lot of situations she wouldn't have had to answer for.
- 13:05So I figured, if I trusted God to give you wisdom,
- 13:11then I believe that you would listen to him and
- 13:14do what he said do. And look at you now, Yeah,
- 13:17you are not a rock star. Are you much more
- 13:20important than.
- 13:20Speaker 1: A rock star?
- 13:21Speaker 2: Well, look at me now, But there was you know,
- 13:23it wasn't a straight line. In fact, I've heard you
- 13:25say before publicly that you I don't. These are my words,
- 13:29not yours, so you can correct me something like. I
- 13:32never went to bed worrying about you and Becky or
- 13:34what you and Becky were up to. You just placed
- 13:38us in the hands of our capable, heavenly father.
- 13:40Speaker 3: And well, I knew that I had taught you the
- 13:44right thing to do in every situation that I knew about,
- 13:48and that I would trust God to be them make
- 13:50you successful at that or make you so miserable you
- 13:55wouldn't want to do it again. And it worked.
- 13:57Speaker 2: It did ultimately work, And I've tried to do the
- 13:59same thing with my three kids.
- 14:01Speaker 1: So I appreciate that.
- 14:03Speaker 2: The other thing that you taught me that became again.
- 14:07You appreciate it when you're young, but you really appreciate
- 14:10it when you're older. You never prioritize work over family. Now,
- 14:16that is challenging for any one, but it seems to
- 14:20be especially challenging for pastors. So many pastors love the
- 14:25church and serve the church and We've seen this happen
- 14:27right with pastors, especially men who just for whatever reason
- 14:31neglect their kids.
- 14:33Speaker 1: And I never.
- 14:34Speaker 2: Felt like I was competing with work, or specifically, I
- 14:37never felt like I was competing.
- 14:39Speaker 1: With the church.
- 14:41Speaker 2: Again, how do you remember your thought process and all
- 14:44of that? Because we took long vacations. In fact, one time,
- 14:48I can't even imagine this. We had an eighteen foot
- 14:51travel trailer, eighteen foot trivel trailer.
- 14:54Speaker 1: We went out west for five weeks.
- 14:58Speaker 2: Okay, I love my children, I can I can't imagine
- 15:03a five week vacation in an eight to pull in
- 15:06an eighteen foot travel trailer. But that's the way you
- 15:08prioritize us. So what was your thinking and all of that.
- 15:12Speaker 3: Well, first of all, I wanted to go, and second
- 15:15that might have had something to do, Yeah, that did.
- 15:17And secondly, I wanted to share what I loved the
- 15:21outdoors and the woods and the forest and glaciers and everything.
- 15:24I want to share that with you all. And so
- 15:26as far as the church was concerned, it was more
- 15:29important to me for us to be together, regardless of
- 15:34what people thought. And so I enjoyed it. And what
- 15:38I tried to do is to give you all the
- 15:41experiences that I wish i'd had went by the head
- 15:45of father and to go to all the places we went.
- 15:47And if you think of all the things that we did,
- 15:50and the one thing I loved about the travel trailer
- 15:52was we were all together.
- 15:53Speaker 1: We were very close together.
- 15:56Speaker 3: It was just but remember this, when we went to Naples,
- 16:00had the whole beach, that's before they got built up.
- 16:03Police would drive up and down the beach bet once
- 16:05a day. We had that whole beach to ourselves, travel traveler,
- 16:10we cook outside. We had a fantastic time. I loved
- 16:13every minute of it, and I figured, y'all will never
- 16:15forget it. And we happened to be there at the
- 16:18season that the that the sand dollars came in and
- 16:22we were picking up very smallments as large ones. And
- 16:25those are times in my life that I enjoyed them
- 16:28just as much as you all did it. And at
- 16:30that point I didn't care what people thought. That mean, well,
- 16:34you should have done this, you should have done that.
- 16:35You know what, you only have one life. These kids
- 16:39are only going to be yours at this age. We're
- 16:41going to live it up in order to enjoy one another.
- 16:44And you have not forgotten it.
- 16:45Speaker 1: No.
- 16:46Speaker 2: And again those kinds of things left an impression in
- 16:50terms of priorities and values. And obviously it wasn't a
- 16:53dig at church or something to undermine our faith. It
- 16:56just showed the priority that you gave. Oh, your priorities
- 16:59were where they needed to be.
- 17:02Speaker 3: Well, I wanted you all to feel like you had me,
- 17:06not me and the church. You had me for thirty
- 17:08days or whatever it might be five weeks, and I
- 17:12just wanted it to be unforgettable times so that one
- 17:16of these days you could look back as you are
- 17:19and say, what awesome time we had not call them that.
- 17:25For example, if they would call me from church, sometimes
- 17:28I would call them back. Sometimes I wouldn't know. We
- 17:30didn't have cell phones then, so I could say, well
- 17:33you call me. Yeah.
- 17:34Speaker 2: There was no way to get really when we would travel,
- 17:36when we would camp, we again, sometimes we went to
- 17:39trailer parks, you know, but a lot of times we
- 17:42would literally back. Then we would just find a spot
- 17:44in the woods or on the beach, and we were
- 17:47completely unplugged. One other incident, and you alluded to this principle,
- 17:54when Louis Giglio and I Louis Giglio.
- 17:57Speaker 1: Many of you know, we grew up together.
- 17:59Speaker 2: He grew up at my dad's t w In fact,
- 18:00his family was at first Baptist Atlanta before we got there.
- 18:04And so Louie and I became close friends through middle
- 18:08school and high school, and we used to skip church
- 18:14quite frequently. We would go to Sunday School because that's
- 18:17where the girls were, and then instead of going to church,
- 18:19we would walk down the street and there was a
- 18:21big restaurant, the Varsity if you've ever been to Atlanta,
- 18:24and my dad was on live television on channel five,
- 18:27I believe, and so we would literally stand up on
- 18:31a chair, change the channel to find the sermon, and
- 18:35then we would just talk and eat hot dogs and
- 18:37listen to just enough of this sermon so that I
- 18:41could get in the car after church and say, you know, Dad,
- 18:43the story about the dog or the thing I you know,
- 18:45so he would think I had been in church, very deceitful.
- 18:49So on one occasion, I know you remember this, somebody
- 18:53went to your we call them secretaries back then, to
- 18:56your administrative assistant and said she had seen me and
- 19:01Louie heading down to the Varsity to skip church.
- 19:04Speaker 1: Do you remember this? Incident.
- 19:06Speaker 2: So here's how it happened. So I'm in the backseat,
- 19:09there's just the two of us. We're driving home after
- 19:11church and m so I can't see his face, so
- 19:14I'm sitting right behind him.
- 19:15Speaker 1: I remember this.
- 19:17Speaker 2: And you said, Andy, someone saw you and Louie leaving
- 19:22the church property and looked like you were headed toward
- 19:24the Varsity instead of coming to church. So of course
- 19:27I'm thinking, oh no, you know, it's like the traffic
- 19:29ticket thing.
- 19:30Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm in big trouble. And you paused, and
- 19:33here's what you said.
- 19:35Speaker 2: You said, and I told her, you raised your kids,
- 19:39you let me raise mine, That's all you said.
- 19:42Speaker 1: And we drove home in silence. And I again and
- 19:46I didn't get into trouble.
- 19:47Speaker 2: You didn't punish me, You didn't expect more of me
- 19:49than other parents expected of their kids. But again, here
- 19:51I am, all these years later, because it said to
- 19:54me that I was a priority and that you, again,
- 19:58you weren't. You didn't feel like your reputation as a
- 20:00pastor hinged on my behavior or on Becky's behavior. And
- 20:04that's a good thing, because there were some there were
- 20:06some rough years for some of us anyway, So again,
- 20:08just so grateful for the way that you were a
- 20:12father even though you didn't have a father to learn from.
- 20:16And that is a guiding principle for all the single
- 20:18parents out there who wonder because you turned out great
- 20:21by the way, So so for all the single parents,
- 20:24it's it's challenging. And when Sandra and I talk to parents,
- 20:28the first thing we say is, even though you know
- 20:31we're going to talk about parenting from the standpoint of
- 20:34a two parent home, neither my father nor Sandra's father
- 20:38grew up with their biological father in the home, and
- 20:42yet they turned out to be fabulous fathers. So in
- 20:46that way, you're such a great example for even more
- 20:48people than maybe you might have imagined.
- 20:50Speaker 1: Now I want to change the subject.
- 20:52Speaker 2: That's okay, you grew up poor, I think I think
- 20:57that's a fair statement, but you you have always been generous.
- 21:02I mean, some of the earliest lessons you taught us
- 21:05had to do with money.
- 21:06Speaker 1: So how in the world is someone who is raised
- 21:09with very, very very little.
- 21:11Speaker 2: In fact, some of my favorite stories that you told
- 21:13me growing up about growing up were.
- 21:15Speaker 1: Just how little you had.
- 21:17Speaker 2: How you Christmas stories, I mean, birthday stories were it
- 21:21was kind of heartbreaking, honestly, And yet your whole life
- 21:25you've been generous. How did you learn to be generous
- 21:27having grown up with so little? Because so many people
- 21:30they go the opposite direction.
- 21:32Speaker 3: I think I'd have to give my mother credit for that.
- 21:34For example, every once in a while back in those days,
- 21:38some little boy, a couple of little kids would come
- 21:41up and ask a knock on the door and ask
- 21:44do you all having the bread? My mom always gave
- 21:48them something. And sometimes I'd look at I'd said, well,
- 21:51we're not going to have any left. I don't think
- 21:53she said, no, we're going to give them this. My
- 21:55mom taught me to be generous, to be kind, and
- 21:59I'm the she eight nine dollars and ten cents a
- 22:02week for forty hours in the cotton mill. Wow. And
- 22:06she was always generous. She didn't give much, but there
- 22:11was something about her. She had to give something, and
- 22:14so I think I saw that in her. So when
- 22:17it came time to talk about tithe and the income,
- 22:19I never had a problem with that. And I have
- 22:22been blessed and blessed and blessed and blessed and blessed,
- 22:26and I would have to say, watching her give a
- 22:30little bit of what we didn't have much of said
- 22:36something to me deep down inside, because I noticed that
- 22:39afterwards we always seemed to have enough.
- 22:42Speaker 2: And again this was her faith and action in terms
- 22:45of just trusting God to provide for the two of you.
- 22:48Speaker 3: Right.
- 22:48Speaker 2: Yeah, So what's the connection between your generosity and the
- 22:53local church, because that's always been a passion for you.
- 22:56Speaker 3: Right. So I just realized that pretty early, I couldn't
- 23:01outgive God no much how much I gave, what the
- 23:05motivation was, I couldn't outgive him. He always blessed me
- 23:10over and over and over again. So I wanted to
- 23:12help other people, and I wanted to be I wanted
- 23:14to be sure when I stood up and preached to
- 23:16other people. But given that, I'm knew in my heart
- 23:20I gave it the best God wanted me to give,
- 23:23having how much it was, so you know, it's not
- 23:27been hard for me to give it. Giving is just
- 23:30part of being who I am. And I think about
- 23:32how God's blessed me. He said, given it should be
- 23:35given to you good measure, pressed, then shaken together. I
- 23:38believe that, and I can look back about all these
- 23:41years and realize He's blessed me far more than I deserve.
- 23:46Speaker 2: That phrase that you just said. I grew up here
- 23:49in my whole life. You can't outgive God. You can't
- 23:51outgive God. You can't outgive God. I remember, I'm not
- 23:54going to go into detail because it's so personal, but
- 23:56I remember an incident. I was a freshman in college
- 23:59when there was an incident and you.
- 24:04Speaker 1: Basically had a choice.
- 24:05Speaker 2: And this is this happened two or three times to
- 24:08where you could give what you felt God had impressed
- 24:10on your heart to give. But it was going to
- 24:12it was going to be actual, a sacrificial gift. And
- 24:16this is one of the great things about you as well.
- 24:18You would talk about this with the family. You would
- 24:20say this, I feel like God wants us to do
- 24:22this for this organization or you know, something that's going
- 24:26on at church, and if we if we give this
- 24:28much money, here's what we're going to have to do
- 24:30as a family.
- 24:31Speaker 1: And you we would pray about those things.
- 24:33Speaker 2: And you know, I can remember as a college freshman
- 24:36thinking that's a lot of money. And you know what's
- 24:38that Again, you led through your generosity and again you
- 24:42can out give God.
- 24:43Speaker 1: You can't out give God.
- 24:44Speaker 2: And so you taught me to tithe and like you,
- 24:47giving the first dime of every dollar I've ever made,
- 24:50my whole life.
- 24:51Speaker 1: Has been easy.
- 24:52Speaker 2: And it has been easy for me to stand up
- 24:54in front of our church and to teach percentage giving
- 24:57because you taught me that as a child, and because
- 25:00I again, it was a habit we formed so early.
- 25:03Like you say, you never miss the money that you give,
- 25:06and you never regret what you've done with the money
- 25:08that you give. Growing up, you know you would lay
- 25:12down with us at night, and we would always want
- 25:14you to tell us stories about growing up. And so
- 25:18I would like to ask you to share two specific stories,
- 25:22and then I'm going to share share a story. So
- 25:26let me think the first story I want you to
- 25:27talk about this kind of relates to money. Talk a
- 25:29little bit about your paper route, because people kid about, oh,
- 25:33in the old days, you know, I had to walk
- 25:35so many miles in the snow uphill both ways. But
- 25:38you literally that was a literal story for you. So
- 25:42your mom is having to work. She's making about ten
- 25:45dollars a week, so you had to go to work early.
- 25:47Speaker 1: So I think the story of.
- 25:49Speaker 2: How you developed your paper route is fascinating and we
- 25:51don't really have paper boys anymore like we used to.
- 25:54Speaker 1: But that was a talk a little bit about that.
- 25:56Speaker 2: Because that's part of what transitions you to the next
- 25:59season your life.
- 26:00Speaker 3: Well, we had two newspapers. One of them was just
- 26:04on Monday morning, since we didn't have a regular paper
- 26:07on Monday morning, and one of them was on Thursday.
- 26:10And so I kept praying for God to show me
- 26:13something to do, and so I make my money. Yeah,
- 26:17So I found out I could possibly get a paper route.
- 26:21I only made about four dollars or something like that,
- 26:26but that was two days a week. It was a
- 26:28long route, and I had a lot of papers. But
- 26:32I said, okay, God, this is what I'll do. And
- 26:35then I kept that for a year. And I watched
- 26:38this fellow who had the large paper route morning and
- 26:45evening every day except Sunday afternoon and Monday morning. You
- 26:48were walking, right, Yeah, I'm walking. And it just so
- 26:51happened that all the streets I had were all downhill.
- 26:57But it was okay. So I saw this fellow who
- 27:03had the paper route and made about twenty dollars a
- 27:05week or after sixteen to twenty something a week a week,
- 27:10and so I said well, if you ever give up
- 27:12your paper route, I'd like to have it. So he said, well,
- 27:16what do you want to give me for it? And
- 27:18that was not proper. You didn't buy a paid sell
- 27:21paper routes, right, So he said, well, I'll sell it
- 27:25to you for one hundred and twenty five dollars. So
- 27:28I figured that one hunting twenty five dollars, i'd make
- 27:30it back for too long. But my stepfather went to
- 27:35the bank with me, and I borrowed a hundred and
- 27:37twenty five dollars one time I ever borrowed the money,
- 27:40and so I bought the route. I started delivering newspapers.
- 27:46I had one long street.
- 27:49Speaker 2: I remember you driving me down the street when we
- 27:51would go visit my grandmother, and you say it was downhill.
- 27:56Speaker 1: There was nothing flat in Danville, Virginia.
- 27:59Speaker 3: Everything was all but anyway anyway. And so the first
- 28:03thing I did is make sure I tied how much
- 28:06money I made, And so I took papers for about
- 28:13well until I went to college. And I saw how
- 28:17God had prospered me and helped me, and I could
- 28:22buy some of my own clothes for a change, and
- 28:25I had a extra money. So then of course I
- 28:30came to the whole situation of how am I going
- 28:32to go to college? Or making sixteen dollars a week
- 28:36and wouldn't get you in college. But I watched God
- 28:40always provide in ways that I couldn't figure out. In
- 28:43other words, I could never have figured out how to
- 28:45go to college making that kount of money.
- 28:49Speaker 2: And this was the second story I wanted you to
- 28:51tell about how you got to college, because the point
- 28:54of this is your confidence in God and your faith
- 28:59in God was not passive.
- 29:00Speaker 1: And this is one of the things you taught me.
- 29:02Speaker 2: You don't sit back and ask God to do something
- 29:04and then just wait. You your work ethic has always
- 29:08been extraordinary at the same time, carving out the right
- 29:11amount of time for family. Somehow you figured all that
- 29:13out on your own. So you have always modeled you
- 29:17work as hard as you can possibly work, and then
- 29:20you trust God to honor your hard work. And so
- 29:23once again, this is what happened with the paper route.
- 29:24And then that leads us to this next story, is
- 29:27you're trying to figure out how in the world you're
- 29:29going to go to college.
- 29:30Speaker 3: So right, because I'd look at sixteen to twenty dollars
- 29:32a week and I, thank God, I can't even get
- 29:36to Richmond, Virginia, let alone go to college. And so
- 29:40one night my friend and I were standing on the
- 29:42street kind of just talking, and the past of the
- 29:47Baptist church came by and I don't I don't live
- 29:50been member of that church probably a year, and he
- 29:53didn't know me very well, and so he was coming
- 29:56down the street. My friend Julian said, mister Ham, come
- 30:00over here just a moment. And so he tell them
- 30:03what I was doing and when I go to school
- 30:05and the Lord he called me to preach and I
- 30:06didn't have any money, could you help me? And he
- 30:10didn't know me. I've been going to church, but not
- 30:12very long at that particular church. So he said, well,
- 30:15come by to see me. So I went by to
- 30:17see him and we talked for probably an hour or so.
- 30:21To make a long story short, I got a four
- 30:25year scholarship to the University of Richmond with no explanation.
- 30:30I couldn't I know it. Well.
- 30:31Speaker 2: He made a few calls and got you into college
- 30:36right on that scholarship.
- 30:38Speaker 1: But again there it is again. You do what you
- 30:40know to do.
- 30:42Speaker 2: God brings the right person along, I mean here and
- 30:43when I hear you tell that story, I've heard it
- 30:45so many times.
- 30:47Speaker 1: Little did he know, Little did he.
- 30:49Speaker 2: Know that he was the connector between you know, this kid,
- 30:55you know who has a paper route, who just finished
- 30:57high school, who didn't have any money. He was the
- 30:59connector but between that unknown kid and if I can
- 31:03just you know, brag a bit, doctor Charles S. Stanley,
- 31:05who's preached the gospel all over the world, and at
- 31:08some points years ago, you were through a shortwave radio,
- 31:11radio and television. You were in every single major city
- 31:15in the world, every single day of the week. And
- 31:18when I think about what hung in the balance potentially
- 31:21of his decision to look at this kid, and apparently
- 31:25there was some sort of internal prompting. I mean, how
- 31:27many kids in Danville, Virginia needed a scholarship to college
- 31:30A lot, right, And yet for some reason he took
- 31:35the time to give you the time and then after
- 31:38that conversation leveraged his connections to give you that opportunity.
- 31:43And what an extraordinary role he played in your life.
- 31:46And he had no idea. And I have seen you
- 31:50do that for so many people through the years. Again,
- 31:54you can't do everything for everybody, But as I say,
- 31:57you know, do for one what you wish you could.
- 31:58Speaker 1: Do for everyone, And he did for one what I'm
- 32:01sure he wished he could do for everyone. And you
- 32:03have done that as well.
- 32:05Speaker 2: And it always makes me stop and think when somebody
- 32:07ask for something specific or something I don't really have
- 32:10the time or the resources to do. I think we
- 32:13have no idea who God brings into our lives, but
- 32:16to be sensitive to that still small voice, and to
- 32:20do for one what, of course we can't do for everyone.